Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 25 Jul 1877, p. 6

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YttK WAR CALDRON. Double. ilonble. toil* and troubles !. Inrna tho ftre, the caldron bubblr , Whd the hell-broth boiling over, -r v? | •: it*element* dteoever. 'i ;., . Froei the ixittom 8|)riag8 to i Brain of wily Muscovite, And hi* "h gauntlet hi* . Ia UKI sVia of placet ul kid, • A ad Joi>; <ongue of treachery , «J«ww<i with a chronic lie, . a, flint-*tono, phaped with an , * t\> the wioblanoe of a heart. first utivk, these, for broth of Cooked in kitchen of the Czar. . „ t Doable, double, toil* and troubles i-rgr^; ISime the fire, the caldron bubbles! i :r MBfesed from out that seething pot, "{SocHBe a wliisprt", " Trust him not. Sturd'rouH is tne Islamite ! ( ghw, ere smitten, rise and smite I Ailur pause, the name voice said, " M> 1 Itibumte' the Christian fee _ w" * jptotn thv deatli this very hour; , ; . strike for life, then! crush the CHaomri" Vmible, double, toils and troubles! iuius the Are, the caldron bubbles I Straightway from its lips of bale Buret all eonnds of mortal wall-- Shriek 0j woman, infaut's ory, •Steong man's shout of agony, WWt'i ing. then, upon a flood, .mixed of lurid flame and blood, the doomed, the dead, the dying; iol the chaser and the flying ; to! the headsman's grisly knife; 0> f the shreds of comely life; Awful eve* iu dying stare ; Hands lopped off in act of prayer; limbless trunk and trunklosa head; firmTT ilishiiTiored-- All adown the ghastly spate, Skirled by murder, lust and hate, Drunk wi'h venom from the tongue 1>d o'er the land Fear's poison flung. Xo! too whisp'rer's handiwork, Wrought on Christian and on Turk to i ui" ingredients, sleeping got, Bty " Hoiy Russia" for the pot. ®rom its <*nter cesHeg up Yankee cartridge, gun of Krnpp; "ftoafl of Russian bounce and brag; Half unfurled, the Prophet's flag ; Balls and bears of every nation. Goring, roaring, " Death ! Damnation I" Annie* swarming 'cross the Pruth; JSot one little word of truth; Then a lull, half hope, half feat, Inl, with eyeballs red and blear, Do*c# forth'sleek Ignatieff, Whisp'ring, " War to us is grief; Bat from oath there's no recoiling; Oar has sworn--his blood is boiling-- Hfa great name is compromised; Then, our troops are mobilized. ve borne the last that honor may, ]• vain, my Lord. Oh, by the way,„ Vwrfcap^. if set in different key, The beastly Turk might fail to see Ike motif of that little song, •And take and sing it ? Can t be wrong To hoodwink kite in such a cause ; *WW1. Bing h£ must, or lose his claws; ®or, as I said, we're compromised, zounds! your Lordship, mobilized." Magazine. BRIGHT A CO. tS#FrmLrr)de had just got comforta- aH*Jed.*in liis new store. The win­ dow fit had only one, being--well, not a «qje aAore) was, after much thought and <QXjKsnnenting, arranged to his satisfac- geo--the bright-colored scarfs and cra- ^nte said neckties forming a sort of rain- bov swj^tinst the somber background of Hack ones ; the packages of kid gloves, •laboring the tips of their many-hued .nt the ends of their gilt and white wrappers; the gaudiest silk handker- fly in 5 like jolly young flags about 3he dessen or two other articles pertaining ••fco tb« masculine wardrobe which, in «eteksii3e taste and order, were grouped below them--when his one clerk, who also errand boy and several other fhmgB--in fact, engaged for "general utility," as they say in the dramatic pro- •fiTwiriri--rushed in, with a face, every of which said, as plainly as words, t news!" looked at him a moment. WtMS it, I? red?" he asked, At last. g. £*Hbir hundred and tbirfcy-oixis taken," pausing to Hjjve. tJtu> - i-wiim* mifflnnrngnfooaiie had {Queried his employer, \ " ̂p>iatl" business as ourn, gent's fur- • " continued Fred. * "iDfcm't say 'ourn,' and don't say *'{"lents,' " said Bufus, in his surprise re- j /jf«ag for a moment into his old role j|' "j»" Well, 'tis," said Fred, sulkily, f | 4'The deuce it is?" exclaimed Bufus, rgessiaikig the character of the man of -.liresraesa, as he threw down the collars !*r had been assorting, and walked * 1 *kondity to the door. BHPare the next store, which had been itomt for a long time, stood a heavily Wtea #art. Two men were unloading 'A. auburn--some people call them red-- and lighted by a pair of sparkling real blue eyes. Nose aquiline, mustache to match the hair, month large and not so very ugly, and the chin--well, perhaps if the chin had been a trifle more prom­ inent, and the hair a shade lesB--au­ burn, Bufus might have possessed- more hopefulness and a better temper. ^ That very evening--such is the incon­ sistency of man--in spite of his asser­ tion that "that sort of thing didn't pay," Bufus bought at the nearest flor­ ist's two Madeira vines, a smilax, and a spicy carnation pink, and the next morn­ ing there they were sweetly blooming in his window, when the tall, rather rough-looking young man who had been overseeing the carmen the day be­ fore came briskly in. " Mr. Lynde ? " said he, • Bufus bowed stiffly. * -, " Called to sec if you'd let me take a took at the arrangement of your win­ dow from the inside--capital effect out­ side. How do you manage? I don't know much about such things myself " " What cool impertinence !" thought Bufus. And then he said, in an icy manner and in an icy tone, "I'm afraid you won't be taught here, sir. It oosts me time, thought and patience to pro­ duce the 'capital effect' of which yon speak. You must use your own brains. Mine are not at your service." " Oh ! is that the way you feel ?" said the young man with a chuckle. " Well, I guess Bright & Co. can do without you;" and he disappeared as suddenly as he came. * , And apparently " Bright & Co. "could, for in two or three hours the shop win­ dow of that enterprising Arm burst upon the admiring gaze of the passer-by like a whole garden of flowers. Such a delicate mingling of shades and skillful combination of colors had never been m a shop window before--at least not in that avenue. Dark purple scarfs and ribbons prettily intwined with those of pale yellow; smoking caps gay in crimsons and golds, and l)lues and puffs, and scarlets and greens; bows of every hue, looking like a flock of gigantic butterflies clinging to a car­ pet of dark brown velvet; beautifully em­ broidered slippers; silken and satin watch fobs of many fantastic shapes; pipe- holders quaint and graceful in design, and fifty other things Bufus had never thought of, " but which women will be just fools enough to buy and give to men," he said to himself, bitterly--shone from his neighbor's window. Poor fellow ! That gorgeous window completely eclipsed his own, and he saw, with a heartache, the people pass his door day after day and enter the more attractive store of Bright .& Co. A week went by, during which Mr. Lynde refused the loan of a hammer-- they had mislaid theirs--to his neigh­ bors, kicked their cat (it was a very gen­ tle kick, and intended more for a hint than anything else) when she chased a flying rat into his store and under his counter, and Fred had a rough and tum­ ble fight with thefboy, " 'cause he swept all the dirt of his own sidewalk on to ourn." Then, one uncommonly bright and pleasant Monday morning, as Bufus, re­ freshed by the Sabbath rest, was com­ ing down the street, humming an old hymn tune which his mother--good old Methodist--was fond of singing, and happily forgetful for the moment of all lile s rarM aflrt OTB was caught by an unusual glare at the Very top of' 'Bright & Co. 's" building. A mam­ moth sign had been placed there, calling attention in enormously fat letters of the guiltiest gilt--large enough to be seen at least half a mile away--to the business of that wonderfully and aggravatingly go-' ahead firm; and that sign trespassed at les\8t two inches on his own premises. Emus ceased humming, #cowled, quickened his steps, entered his store, seated himself at his desk, flung his hat on the floor, ran his fingers through his sanguinary locks until they stood up like an aureole around his head, seized pen, paper and, ink and dashed off the follow­ ing note: "Mr. Lynde's compliments to Bright & Co., and begs to call-their attention to the fact that their last and biggest sign exceeds the limits allowed them ly law." This, with a snort of delight, as a war- horse that scenteth the battle afar, did Fred receive and hasten to deliver next iu oor, to return with nnswer, equally con­ cise, written in & large, bold, but ir.tlicr scrawlev hand : " Bright Sr Co. are sorry that the sign- maker should have m?de such a mis­ take ; but unless Mr. Lynde wishes to put up a similar sign, they are at a loss to see how so slight an infringement can interfere with him." '• Oh, indeed !" said Bufus, his face almost as fiery as his hair. " What re­ markable coolness the fellow has ! But I'll let him see he can't completely over­ shadow his humble neighbor," and forthwith dispatched another note : " Mr. Lynde demands the instant re­ moval of the before-mentioned sign, or Mr. Lynde's lawyer will wait on Bright & Co. this afternoon." To which came the short but peiti- nent reply: "Mr. Lynde's lawyer may wait on Bright & Co. as soon as Mr. Lynde chooses." But it happened that Bufus couldn't get away from the store that day. Some great festivity, to take place that even­ ing in the vicinity, sent all the boys and young men in search of masculine necessities and adornments, and the overflow from Bright & Co.'s alone was sufficient to keep Bufus and his only assistant extremely busy. But as soon as night had fairly set in and the rush was over, he sent Fred, a delighted messenger--with a communication to a young lawyer friend, and, with resolu­ tion and defiance written on his brow, and hands firmly clasped behind him, scarlet bows, and scarlet geraniums ner, and a saucy s ii i. «siWv. - " . * r.i rh'ad a bit of the left oor- turned up on ftd carrying in boxes and cases the same «%ape and size as those which had con­ tained liis own goods. A tall, rather looking young man was auperin- ajiil a boy--evidently "general iy," like Fred--was darting hither ats2 zhiihjri r with a great pretense of ren- valuable assistance. - • Mnlzzg stepped out on the sidewalk, tiljifiiiijtfgcarelessly and becomingat once "vczy samch interested in an over-worked that had fallen across the cur track, m the horse was helped to his feet 1*7 a sympathizing crowd he slowly teunaesl and came in again, giving as he passed a comprehensive glance at the JM3(^boring establishment. Every pane in the window--it also had OKIJ Km?, window--shone like an over- gsssKfe tlianrmd, and in each corner was .already placed, on a pretty walnut stand; -* pot of ivy, the dark green vines climb- nm tlte grrcy-tpajjered wall, while the flowers of * flourishing geranium .gayly in the sunshine. &™gt£ v»Ix>ve the door, beside which the modest one bearing his name looked like a dwarf beside a giant, bore in glittering letters the inscription Co." ' Going in for combining poetry with "feiMiiiiWHa 'Twon't pay," said Bufus, -Mfemnuyp to the ivy and geranium, as he uTm--Trl his own door behind him, and floating Siimself at his desk, took up the nnaiiiini. paper, but not to read. He had fioet all interest in the political situation ; «£L &e did was to gaze vacantly at the sheet and think about his rivals ttk feie--" Bright & Co." "This neighborhood won't support us IDOQI, that's sure," he said. "It must 'IK-1 a hand-to-hand fight until one ig left •vizsr.. Too bad ! to bad ! Here's sis- -fetf Fan nicely married, and mother as «osifQrtable and happy as can be in her Eltle rooms around the corner, and 11 he began slowly pacing backward and Aoygul I saw tiinooth sailing before me -"onvd.ru, his determination to fight it After teaching school five long j out with his neighbor growing stronger and stronger every moment; for, " in the first place, it was downright shabby to set up in the very same line right next door," he repeated for the twentieth time. "I couldn't and wouldn't have done it; but, no doubt, this Bright is some selfish, grasping, cold-hearted, unpleasant fellow, not caring who he shoulders out of the way as long as he--" when suddenly the door flew open, and the roundest, plumpest, prettiest lot of a woman flew in. She wore a dainty white apron, with a bewitching bib and two charming pock­ ets, and the pockets were adorned with one side and trimmed with scarlet ber­ ries and green leaves, was perched inse­ curely on the top of her satin-smooth black head. " Mr. Lynde!" Raid she, in a voice that implied "I'm not to be contradicted under any circumstances whatever," as she confronted Bufus. Bufus replied, "At your service," with a smile. He'd have been more than mortal if he could have looked at that bright face, with its frank, fearless gray eyes, cunning pug nose, dear little mouth, and general air of cheeiful independ­ ence, without smiling. " I am Bright & Co." • • And rightly named," flashed through Lynde's mind; and then his face betrayed the great astonishment he felt, but he bowed and eak! nothing. "You look surprised," said the little woman. "I am," said Bufus. "I thought--I mean I was sure--that is, supposed--" " No matter what you supposed," in­ terrupted "Bright & Co." in a manner that in anyone else would have been rude, but in her was decidedly charm­ ing. " I'm Bright--and Co., and Co.. and I want to know why, in the name of pins and needles, you're so awful hateful about that sign? It can't hurt your house--if it is yoara--or you, extending only that far " (holdingouttwo tiny fore­ fingers, with nails like wee pink shells, about half an inch from each other) "be­ yond my house--it is my house--and you knoio, if you have on¥ grain of common sense, it can't." She paused, but Bufus said never a word. " I suppose," the little "woman went on, shaking her pretty head so emphati­ cally that the saucy hat nearly slipped off, just hanging or her back hair in a manner that suggested to Bufus the days of his boyhood and the " Sailor's Hornpipe," "you think I have injured your business. If I have, I didn't mean to. The building next door was left to me by an old aunt, and the store was stocked from the wholesale establish­ ment of an old uncle. Now, I couldn't set up a millinery shop or a flower store, or a confectionery with shirts and socks, and collars, and cravats and suspenders --and such things--could I ?" "Of course not," replied Bufus. "I see no way in which they could Le con­ verted into bonnets, bouquets, or candy." "Just so," said Bright & Co., putting her right hand into her pocket and drumming softly on the counter with the fingers of her left. "I took the house and thanked my lucky stars and my auntie; and I took the goods and thanked my lucky stars again and my uncle. I placed ' Bright' over the door without any ' Miss. ' (Bufus could not explain for the life of him why he was so relieved to find it wasn't 'Mrs^,?> " or Christian name, because it looks more business-like, and I added the 'Co.' be­ cause it sounds well, and my small brother (the one your Fredv |ided to thrash the other day) is my general as­ sistant, and my big cousin (to whom you refused to look at your window) helps me in every way he can, though that isn't much, because he has liis own business to attend to--" "Glad of it," thought Bufus. "And I have a pair of lovely twin sisters only Q jears old. anda dear mother and grand­ mother to take care of--and oh [ how can you be so hateful about that sign?" "Good gracious!" exclaimed Bufus, running his fingers wildly through his red--that is, his auburn--curls, and caus­ ing the aureole to rise again. "Don't say another word about it. Cover the whole of your house and mine also-- though it isn't mine; there, too, you have the advantage of me, as you have in anything else--with signs if you will. I can make a living for my mother and myself somewhere else, if not here. I have no large family depending on me, like ' Bright & Co.'" " Oh, dear, no, Mr. Lynde, that wouldn't please me at all, said the little woman; "the 'somewhere else,' you know. Stay right here. There'll be room for us both after a while, I'm sure of it." Bufus looked into the rosy, earnest face with an almost lover-like smile, as Fred burst into the store shouting, "The lawyer says come to his office at 10 o'clock to-morrow morning, pud he'll see that the old aigii comes down in a jiffy." Gii, y>ju wielvod boy ! " b<tid Bright k Co. Never mind that," Mid Bufus. "I give you my word that the sign shall re­ main just where it is;" and seizing his hat he escorted her to the door, leaving Fred in the act of executing a break­ down, illustrative of extreme astonish­ ment, but too much astonished to whistle an accompaniment. And the sign didn't come down -- that , it did eventually, but not until the next May, and then another, still larger, and stretching twice the distance, took its place. " Lynde, Bright & Co.," the new sign reads, and the two small stores are turned into one large one, and " Bufus Lynde" and " Bright & Co." are part­ ners for life. AMERICAN ARMS. yeflartf mway out West, besides keeping nooks for people and copying law docu- KWMsts far into the night, to say nothing of living like a miser all the time, on Itorpace t-o sav • money enough to start in my native city--to have ** fellow set up right next door in the wry mate, business, it's too much and 'Maldm- shook his head at the, frowning fhcc tivaJt looked at him fromrthe mirror Uka£ hnng opposite. A yemmg face, and not a disagreeable AIK (<n the contrary, quite an agreea- «ne when minus the scowl), sur- by waving looks of bright Cteitfttrfcifttle Superiority of the MaaftfcMia of War of the United States. [New York Cor. Chicago Times.] The past few years have developed a great trade in American munitions of war. Our rifles were first put into the hands of foreign troops at the close of the rebellion. The United States had on its hands two million stands of arms, which were offered for sale to foreign governments, and many of the Asiatic levies of the Porte are armed with the guns of Union soldiers. The French f Government took 800,000 muskets, and the balance are still in the United States arsenals. All except 50,000 of these arms were muzzle-loaders, a style of weapon which, in the past few years, has been almost entirely superseded in the armies of first-class powers by the im­ proved breech-loading rifle. Some time ago the Turkish Government gave the Winchester Arms Company a contract to furnish 600,000 rifles. The filling of this contract is now riving employment to 2,000 men a day OT Providence, B. 1/ The Winchester Company has in the past two years sold over 100,000 rifles to other foreign governments, to say noth­ ing of its sporting arms, of which it sends abroad about 2,000 a month. A large part of the Khedive's army is armed with the Jttemington rifle. This company has sent abroad about 1,000,000 stands of arms, of which Spain has taken 300,000; France, 200,000; Egypt, 100,000; Mexico, Central America, and a number of smaller powers 50,000 each. Even the Prussian needle-gun has been Americanized. The Prussian Govern­ ment, impressed with the value of American improved methods of manu­ facturing arms, introduced complete ma­ chinery from the United States, and has established an American arsenal at Berlin for the manufacture of the famous needle- gun. The machine-made weapon was found to be so much superior to the old needle-gun in point of cheapness and fin­ ish that the Government has discarded its old stock, and the Prussian armies are now equipped with guns made by Amer­ ican machinery, under the supervision of American skilled labor. Bussia, within the past two years, has purchased 500 Gat- ling guns, the American mitraileuse, every gun equal in effectiveness to 100 muskets. Thirty thousand of her troops are equipped with rifles made on the Berdan principle, at Colt's manufactory, Hartford. Her armies also carry 200,000 Smith & Wesson pistols, and orders for further supplies are now being filled. American arms have won their way abroad, first by their comparative cheap­ ness. It is only another illustration of the inevitable displacement of hand­ made wares by the cheaper and more perfect products of machinery. Not less vigorous has been the growth of our trade in ammunition., A large part of the cartridges in the ammunition stores of Bussia were made at Bridge­ port, Ct. The Bussian Government has purchased from this one manufactory, in the last five years, some 40,000,000 cartridges. Early this spring Bussia purchased 3,000 tons of Lake Superior copper, which was taken to Bridgeport and is now being turned into cartridges. It is stated that the Bussian Government, three months ago, made contracts with powder firms of this country for 25,000 barrels of powder, and that some 5,000 barrels have already been shipped. The Tiwkfs have been equally active in the purchase of our munitions of war. With­ in the past four months three vessels, loaded with arms and ammunition, have sailed for Constantinople. Other for­ eign powers are also becoming liberal patrons of American dealers in ammuni­ tion. A Disastrous Young Woman. As an instance of what hot temper and rash action can accomplish to ruin a life,, an affair that lately occurred at Sharon, Pa., is one of the best illustrations. A young lady, Miss Kate McGilvery, was out driving alone, and desired to get ahead of a wagot. She called out to the driver to turn aside so that she could pass. He was a deaf, infirm old miin named Bell, and at first did not hear what she said, but after a second or third call did as requested. Misunderstand­ ing Mr. Bell's delay, the young lady on her arrival at home, told her father that the old man had tried to frighten her horse. Mr. McGilvery started down town to find Mr. Bell. He met him in- front of a store, and, without warning, knocked him through the window, cut­ ting his head badly^t^iough not serious­ ly. Mr. Bell was removed to his resi­ dence, and his son Bichard was so mad­ dened by his father's condition that he determined to punish his assailant. He found him in front of the very store where the first assault was made, and, picking up a two-pound brass weight, hulled it at Mr. McGilvery's head, fract­ uring the skull. The wounded man died in a few hours. Miss Kate, the in­ nocent cause of all the trouble, has lost her reason, and is now a raving maniac. Punishing Military Offenders in Turkey. The battalions were drawn up in col­ umns of companies along the slope out­ side their tents. The report was made n the usual fashion, and then, iust be- ore the sun disappeared over the snowy sierras toward Erzeroum, the imperial salute was rendered. The bands played a long-drawn-out, wailing kind of air, the regimental bugles sounded a flour­ ish, the drums rolled, and simultaneously from the entire army burst the cry, " Long live my Padishah;" while the troops presented arms. This ceremony was repeated three times, and then the offenders were marched from their bat­ talions to a point in front of the whole line. Each mail placed himself on , his hands and kr "es, »md by liim stood a soldier, holding a stout stick about a yard lnr>g. On a signal from the commanding officer the bands struck up a lively air, and the men with the sticks commenced belaboring the culprits, keeping time to the music with the greatest regularity. At a distance they had the appearance of men beating dust out of carpets. After each had received about fifty blows on the back the music eeased, and the offenders returned to the ranks.--Ar- u9Uiian Cor. London News. Yolcanic Eruptions. What a volcano can do the following record will show: In 1797 the crater of Tunguragua, one of the great peaks of the Andes, flung out torrents of mud, which dammed up rivers, opened new lakes, and in valleys 1,000 feet wide made deposits of 600 feet depth. The stream from Vesuvius, which, in 1737, passed through Torre del Greco, con­ tained 33,600,000 cubic feet of solid mat­ ter; and in 1793, when Torre del Greco was destroyed a second time, the mass of lava amounted to 45,000,000 cubic feet. In 1769, JEtna poured forth a flood which covered eighty-four square miles of surface, and measured nearly 100,000,- 000 cubic feet. On this occasion the sand and scoria formed the Monte Bosini, near Nicholosa, a c*ne two miles in cir­ cumference and 4,000 feet high. The stream thrown out by iEtna, in 1810, was in motion at the rate of a yard a day for nine months after the eruption; and it is on record that the lava of the same mountain, after a terrible eruption, was not thoroughly cool and consolidated ten years after the event. Silver Mines of Peru. Peru contemplates an imitation ,n her silver mines^ef the Sutro tunnel, which for many years has been in the process of construction for the drainage of Corn- stock lode, in Nevada. The famous Bilver mines of Cerro de Pasace, in Peru have, since their first discovery, yielded silver estimated at $500,000,000 in value. This enormous sum was realized in spite of the unfaithful working of crude systems that did not produce anything like the amount the ore was capable of yielding. The projected tunnel, by draining the mines, it is thought, will restore their value and enable the miners to reach the richest ores. The project is the plan of Mr. Henry Meiggs, the famous American railway builder of Peru, and, if it is pushed with the vigor characterizing htB Peruvian railway construction, it is likely to be successful. TORNADOES, the Phenomena oritai:""' [From the Cincinnati Times.] To the elaborate researches of Mr. Bedfleld, of New York, who published, in 1831, the1 first of a series of remark­ able papers on the phenomena of storms, we owe our first full acquaintance with the origin and progress of these torna­ does or hurricanes of which we have had such an abundance this summer. Mr. Bedfield's initial proposition that the hurricane is a progressive vortical whirlwind has been fully sustained, as also his auxiliary proposition that the progress of the vortex is in the line of a parabola, with the curve making away from the equator--a consequence, it is believed, of the revolution of the earth upon its axis. But while these are " fixed facts," con­ cerning the origin and cause compara­ tively little is positively known. It used to be common to attribute them to more occult forces, such as electricity, but the immense mechanical power stored up in the heat and vapor of moist air, as abundantly demonstrated by Espy, Peslin and Beye, is now believed sufficient to account for all the wonder­ ful exhibitions of force in the gyratory hurricane. Whenever a lower stratum of warm, moist air is rapidly elevated above the sea level, which may be by various causes, there at once occurs an influx of air from all sides, and *the formation of the whirl commences. Its subsequent development depends upon the supply of moist air* and the size of the original vacuum, and, once fairly whirling, it sets out upon its triumphal parabolic (and diabolic) tour. The velocity of the wind (which must not be confounded with the progress of the storm) in these hurricanes is very difficult to get at. Mr. Bedfleld ex­ plains that over and above the average velocity of the wind, come occasional gusts of extraordinary speed and power. It is these gusts which do the mischief, and their velocity has rarely, if ever, been actually gauged. A velocity of 600 miles per hour has been estimated for some of them, though they should be estimated by the second rather than the hour, 'for the spasmodic increase in the rapidity of the whirl is of very brief duration. The velocity of one of these gusts in a British hurricane was figured at 130 miles the hour, and our own signal corps have recorded as high a speed as ninety miles, without claiming to have measured the fiercer whirls. They are at least fast enough for all practical purposes when they break great trees like pipe-stems, and set houses, cattle and men flying over the country. Hon Liquors Are Made. At the recent meeting of the American Temperance Union in Cooper Institute, New York, Mr. Eli Johnson said : "Two years ago a prominent wine importer died in this city. Among his books no record of a single invoice of wine was fopnd, but in his cellar machinery /or making it was discovered. There are beer factories which can make beer in fifteen minutes, without a particle of hops or malt. I had heard that drum­ mers of liquors no longer carried around sampled of liquors. They took a box of drugs instead, from which to manufact­ ure their wares. For a long time I tried to obtain a similar box, but failed to do so. Finally, a young physician commit­ ted suicide, induced by use of poisonous liquor. Among his effects was found one of these sample cases. Here it is." The lecturer showed a black tin box, in which were several bottles containing colored liquids. He continued: "In this box were essential oils for making eight kinds of bAndy, six of whisky, four of gin and two of wine. Each of these bottles is guaranteed to make twenty gallons of liquor. There is a house in this city that manufactures these articles. This bottle of oil made by them contains material for twenty gallons of French brandy. They also issue this book of directions," which he showed, " which specifies one hundred different oils for manufacturing drinks. All are made of different parts* of alcohol, water, sugar, tartaric acid and other del­ eterious ingredients, together with the essential oil. The oil is the only change made in any of them. This bottle is guaranteed to make twenty gallons of port wine. It is what physicians order for sick people." Judge Lynch. --Allen county, Ky., was recently the scene of a terrible crime. A Miss Bur­ ton was missed from her home, and no tidings could be learned of her where­ abouts for a week, when her dead body was found in a secluded spot not far from the residence of her brother-in-law, one George Stark, with two bullet-holes in her head and her body in an advanced stage of decomposition. Investigation Eointed to a criminal intimacy between er and Stark, and to him as her mur­ derer. He was arrested and placed un­ der guard. While his preliminary ex­ amination was in progress, a body of men, relatives and friends of the young lady, took Stark from his guards at 12 o'clock at night and hung him. There seems to have been a good chance for his acquittal, as there was a lack of posi­ tive proof against him. Yet the citizens generally believe him guilty. Stark was of good family, and stood well hereto* fore. Storrs' Story. Emory Storrs has a new story. It runs thus : While Satan was tempting the Savior on the mount, there came, slinking along the slope, a Jew of the Hilton patter^ with his pockets full of bonds and securities, who, as soon as his eyes alighted on the twain, saw that some sort of a dicker was going on. He proceeded at onoe, and very softly, to where they stood, and "fetched up" im­ mediately behind Satan, who was mak­ ing his offer with every appearance of earnestness, and showing up his abstracts and title deeds. The Savior hesitated an instaut. The Jew saw it. He tapped Satan on the shoulder, with "Shav, mishter, if de shendleman don'd aocebt de broboeition, Z vilL"--Chicago Times. GOING TO PRK8H. * •* R*v. I. B. CABXAX. [William A. 'onea, foreman of the eompoaing- 7Vw'*. died recently*. ^atih,be became ioMcious for a ofW^ukhl Celling upon the habit all ^h^ Hh™ 'lP,?Sy,exdaimed : adB are to fcermaa, lost up U>e form, MM WafO FeUow-man, a motnent linger, i „ dying printer's speech • For it bear* a weighty leB»on, Our unheeding hearts to teach. Day by day thou art composing What a universe shall read; Type to type are ceaselesB netting, f As thou addeat doed to deed. Ah! how surely life's full column*, When the hand that set themliee" Fixed in an unbroken stillneM, Their composer advertise. Soon the forms are locked forever. Changeless shall the impression be; Scan thy proofs in time, O printer. Thou art near eternity. Are the " ads" all right, composer ? Art thou standing justified? Beady now for death and judgment, Their unfoldingg to abide ? So ahalt thou, as night advances. Greet th' unstaying Pressman's ; Then await the morn eternal, Publishing thy life to all. PITH AND POINT. PEEVENTIVKS of consumption--High prices. VERY like a whale--The captured sea- serpent. To REMOVE stains from your character --Get rich. A COLORED Postmaster is now called a black-mailer. LAWYERS should sleep well. It is im­ material on which side they lie. WHEN ought mariners to have fruit at sea ? When they stem the currents. THE oldest sort of fire-escape on rec­ ord is the fond husband who lies abed mornings. "WHAT would you do, madam, if you were a gentleman ?? "Sir, what would you do if you were one ?" A WOMAN is not fit to have a baby who doesn't know how to hold it; and thia is as true of a tongue as of a baby. A FASHIONABLE medical journal says the summer style of vaccination is cardinal red, cut bias, and gored. IF you want to teach a dog arithmetic, tie up one of his paws, snd he will put down three and carry one every time. THE experience of many a life, " What a fool I've been !" The experience of many a wife, " What a fool I've got!" WHY is a newspaper like atooth-brush ? Because everyone should have one of his own, and not be borrowing his neigh­ bor's. DOBBS, on being asked if he had ever seen the "bridge of sighs." replied, " Yes, I have been traveling on it ever since I was married." A BOY having been told " that a rep­ tile was an animal that creeps," on being asked to name one on examination day, promptly replied: "Ababy." - CONNUBIAL AFFECTION. It if* a maxim in the schools That women always dote on fools. If so, dear Jack, I'm sure your wife Must love you as she does her life. THOSE glorious summer nights are ooming when the lover whispers impas­ sioned words in the dreamy ear of a fa­ vored maiden and feels his under-shirt stisking to him closer than a brotherf A 5-YEAR-OLD Boston lad stopped in the middle of the Lord's Prayer, the other night recently, and remarked con­ fidentially to his mother: "Billy Brown is the boss short-stop," and then resumed his devotions. NOBODY likes to be nobody; but every­ body is pleased to think himself some­ body. And everybody is somebody; but when everybody thinks himself somebody, he generally thinks every­ body else is nobody. " SUSAN," said the madame of a board­ ing-school, "you say your young mis­ tress wishes to absent herself from the class-room this afternoon. Is the reason for her staying away very urgent?" " Yes, mum, it is 'er gent." THE following is a verbatim et litera­ tim copy of an order for medicaments sent to the village druggist in a thriving district of Aberdeenshire, " You will me oblag to give the berer J oz. saggar of led and three Loaches and vieniger." " WHICH is the largest gland ?" asked a Chicago medical professor of the new­ est arrival in his class the other day. The student buried himself in deep and attentive thought for a moment, and then brightened up suddenly and ex­ claimed, "The largest gland, sir, is En­ gland. " Then the professor kindly led the youth aside, and sympathetically advised him to think no more of medi­ cine, but to join a minstrel show or en­ ter the army. AN intoxicated German got on a Hud­ son river train at Kinderhook to go to Troy; and the Budget of that city says: " He threw his sachel down in a corner of the car, took a seat, and ^was soon asleep. On awaking he said he had left his baggage dt Kinderhook, and asked the boy employed on the train what he should do to recover it. The latter, who had seen the German place his sachel in the corner, replied : ' You give me 30 cents and I'll telegraph to Kinder­ hook to have the depot master forward it by telegraph to Greenbush. It will reach there before we do.' The German paid the 30 cents and the boy departed, taking the sachel into another car. On reaching Greenbush the boy returned with the bag. 'Ah,'said the German, ' dot delegraff is vun grate dings. Here, dake onoder quorter, mein poy.' " A Whistling Match. A Hazardville correspondent tells of a novel wager recently won in that town. A party of men being together, one of them proposed a bet that Peter Toombs would whistle one hour, without stop­ ping or speaking, and without repeating any tune. The proposal was taken by another of the party, who reduced the time to half an hour. Mr. Toombs ac­ cepted the amendment, the stakes were put up, and Mr. Toombs began his task. Beginning with " I Wont Go Home Till Morning," he ran through his reper­ toire, ending with " Paddle Your Own Canoe," in grand style. When the half hour was ended, not being blown, the whistler kept it up twenty minutes longer, winning, of course, the stakes.-- Hartford Times.

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