The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

!:V"MV f$(P*twg l1lawdralrr J. TAN SLYXE, EDITOK AND PUBLIHHXB. :3c McHENRY, ILLINOIS. ^-y^iOVM • JUVK "" ) " •: "• A Mistake. TMfopmf HeA-cheek Mid unto a " Fldwer! why were you made? I VH made for mother-- She hasn't any other; But you were made for no one, I'm afraid.** Then-the clover softly unto Red-cheek whlepeeedi " Pluck me, ere you go." Bed-eheek,little dreaming, Pulled, and ran off screaming: 44 Oh, naughty, naughty flower; to sttng me so 1" • 41 Foolish child I" the startled bee buzzed crossly, •' Foolish not to see That I make my honey "While the day is suuny ; That the^pvetty little clover lives for me!" < --Mary Mapet Dodge, in St. Nichola* for Xorcmber. Which Was the Fool? "Yes, Tabby is rather pretty." " She don't seem to care much for the Admiration of gentlemen," said a viva­ cious girl, who was, evidently, only too willing to accept all the homage she could get. " Still waters run deep," was the re­ sponse of another. " Nonsense! the girl is pretty, but She *8' evidently, a little fool. Why, if you speak to her she seems to be frightened. I like a girl that has got some snap, and isn't afraid to jbe spoken t6." " rll bet you I'll speak to her, and make love to her, too; mid there she comes as sure as I'm alive! Good-by, friends; 111 report success--perhaps in an hour." . ' This conversation had taken place at the house of a friend, where, by chance, several of the students and one or two young ladies happened to meet. The young man who spoke last was something of a favorite on account of bis fine appearance and easy manners. He rushed out on the street in time to encounter the girl of whom he had spok­ en, a modest, somewhat uncultivated, but very lovable girl, and the niece of a professor who was fitting Drake and a dozen other young gentlemen for col­ lege. "Will you aUow me to walk home with you?" he asked, politely lifting his hat. " Certainly, if you are going my way, said Tabby. "You know the street doesn't belong to me." "Oh, certainly; and--and won't you take my arm?" " No, indeed," said Tabby, shortly, "Pray, why not?" " Because I don't need it," laughed Tabby; " I've two of my own." "Why, Tabby, I didn't know you were witty." "Didn't you?" " Of course not; that is, I haven't had the chance, you know. You don't see to like me as well as you do the other fellows." " I don't like fellows, any way," said Tabby, quietly. " You must make an exception in my case," said the boy. " You're asf bad as the rest. They all make fun of everybody, but especially of girls." " Oh, no, I never do! Do you know the reason? It's because I like you so well." " Really ! What do you like me for?" " Oh ! well--because I do, and be­ cause you're the prettiest girl in town. If you will marry me as soon as I have finished my studies, you shall live like a princess." "Why, are you rich?" asked Tabby, innocently. "No, but my father is. He will let me get you horses, and carriages, and servants*-" "And jewels?" a^ked Tabby. "Oh, a peck of ear-rings, and finger- rings, and bracelets, and chains! In fact, anything you wish* for." "Thank you," said Tabby. "How de­ lightful ! I never had a ring in my life. How nice a real gold ring would be!" "Wouldn't it?" And then he extorted a promise from her that she would not speak to any of the other students about his proposal, at least for a day, while she on her part told him that she would give him her answer on the fol­ lowing evening. "And much good may it do you 1" she laughed to herself, as she ran upihe steps of her uncle's house. "I wonder if he thinks I can't see that he is making fan of me. He does it because I am . poor and ignorant and dependent." " Her cheek Was flushed now, and her eyes sparkling, for though low of speech she was quick of wit, and could read character pretty correctly. In something less than an hour Drake had met his friends, who crowded around him with questions. "What success?" "What did she say?" "Splendid! splendid!" ejaculated the young man, rubbing his hands viva­ ciously ; and he repeated the conversa­ tion with many embellishments, saying that she had asked him if he would give her a peck of jewels and a white horse with a red velvet saddle, provided she was willing to marry him. This proof of the girl's silliness • * I brought forth peals of laughter from the boys and girls, by whom he was greatly admired. Before the young people parted, it was agreed that they should all call at the professor's house on the following evening, and overhear, if possible, his love-making, and witness Ta&by*s ac­ ceptance of a brass ring with a bit of colored glass in it. 1 " Yousee Jhe professor and the old lady are invited to a wedding, and there will be a splendid, chance. Though what shall I do if the little goose ac­ cepts me?" • . * Boars of laughter followed the query; but the young fellow, declaring that he would trust to his wits at the proper time, bade them good-night. Having access to the professor's house, Wilton Drake conducted the next evening some five of his acquaint­ ances to the place appointed, viz., the study of the professor, and left them there to await events. "Patient Tabby," as she was some times called, was singing a lullaby in the nursery, which led from the library, tb the drowsy children. Drake tapped ai the door, and when she said, brightly, "Come in!" his friends gathered in the darkness waiting for the fun. "Oh, is that you, Mr. Drake?" was Jjhe first sentence audible. "I really didn't expect you." "Why, my dear, didn't you think I was in earnest? " ,v "When you offered me the peck of jewels and said I should live like a Queen if I married you ? No, of course I didn't." ~ "But I was," said the boy, tremblingly, wishing that the door was shut, his ears tingled so; "and you know I have come to learn my fate." P "Well, then, you can go*>cfe wufe as you came. Did you think me foolish enough to believe you? I saw through your conduct from the first. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if you had laid a wager with some of your friends to see if you couldn't fool the professor's silly niece. "No, sir, I don't want your jewels, and*' I guess your father has about as much as he can attend to, to take care of you. At any rate, your bills are not' paid; and, more than that, I know that you were sent away in disgrace from Gray Mount Institute because you played very much such a trick as you intended to play me." "What are you talking about?" blurted Drake, his face a blaze of scarlet. "About you--and I'm telling the truth too," she responded, with spirit. If I've hurt your feelings, I'm sorry; but if I have taught you a lesson in decency I'm glad. When I'm old enough, sir, to think about such a thing as marriage, I shall know who to choose, and I hope he may be a gentleman." The reader may imagine the feelings of at least'one of that party who had come to see "the fun of it." In pity for thei? fallen hero the listeners shrank away, and when he left the spirited and sensible girl there was not a student there to do him honor. --Youths' Com­ panion. cheese, and then they worried over the fact that ours sold the best. Possibly our English friends may find upon in­ vestigation that they are mistaken regarding the quality of our make, «.n<i that it is really superior to their own cheese. lJS^it IT IS now :-'A A TELLING RKTOHT. One of the most republican of Ameri­ can Governors was Thomas Chittenden, the first Governor of Vermont. He was a plain farmer, just like other folk in his habits of living, but remarkable for his good sense. He held the office of Gov­ ernor for seventeen years. A good story of Mrs. Chittenden, who was as smart as the Governor, is told: They were once visited by a party of traveling fashionables from one of onr cities. When the hour of dinner arrived, Mrs. Chittenden, to the astonishment of her lady guests, went out and blew a tin horn for the workmen, who soon arrived. To the still greater astonishment of these fair city ladies, the whole com­ pany, Governor, his guests, workmen and all, were invited to sit down to the substantial meal which was on the table. After dinner was over and the ladies were left to themselves, one of the guests thought she would gently take Mrs. Chittenden to task for this monstrous violation of the rules of city gentility, to which she had been, as she thought, so uncourteously made a victim. "Ypn do not generally sit down to the same table with your workmen, I sup­ pose, Mrs. Chittenden?" she com­ menced. ' . * Why," replied the Governor's lady, whose quick wit instantly appreciated the drift of the other, "why, I am almost ashamed to say we generally have, but I intend to amend soon in this particular. I was telling the Governor this very morning that it was tin absolute shame that the workmen, who did all the hard labor, should fare no better than we who sit so much of the time in the house earning little or nothing, and I am de­ termined hereafter to set two tables--- the first and the best for the workmen, and the last and poorest for the Gov­ ernor and myself." AT an agricultural convention in En­ gland, the other day^much discussion arose as to the reason why American cheese was driving the EnglisK^rticle out of the market. It was assumecTat the outset that the American manufact­ ure was inferior to the home-made recommended to give in­ halations of ammonia before adminis­ tering chloroform, with a view to coun­ teracting the depressing effects of the latter. A WRITER in the Scientific American says that after the electric light shall come into general use the gas compa­ nies may profitably use their works in making non-illuminating gas for cooking and heating. A PRIZE of £100 m an essay on hy­ drophobia, its nature, prevention and cure, is offered by the Royal College of Physicians, London, and the British Minister at Washington has requested that publicity be given to the offer. The essay must be in English, or ac­ companied by an English translation; .must be delivered on or before Jan. 1, 1880, and may be the joint production of two Or three authors. THE law requires that all patented articles be so labeled by the maker, to­ gether with the date of the patent. If this is not done, the inventor can nlaim no dahiages for an infringement, unless it can be proven that the infringer has received due notice of his trespass. The fine for marking an unpatented article as "patented " is $100 for every offense, one-half to go to the informer. A NEW material available for textile manufactures exists in Western Aus­ tralia. It is a species of ^vegetable wool," which grows on the top of the grass in the immense sheep runs! of that country. It is about half an inch in length, and as soft as silk. A silk merchant thinks that the "wopl," though, too short to use alone, would mi* we9 with silk, adding too the warmth," strength and beauty of the fabric thus made. A special Commissioner is now in Australia examining the material ancf taking note of the extent of its produc­ tion. It is likely soon to be introduced to the market. - THE greater ftart of the files made and used in -the United States are ma­ chine made in every part. Hand cut­ ting is still carried on in a wma.11 way. The statistics of the file industry of the United States are thus summarized: Thfire are seven manufacturers making machine-cut files, operating about 275 machines, and averaging 1,500 dozen files per day. These factories also pro­ duce about 200 dozen hand-cut files, making a total of 1,700 dozen per day as the total product of the seven prin­ cipal companies. Smaller manufactur­ ers make only for home consumption, and not for the trades. The probable total file production of the country is about 2,500 dozen per day. TEA-DRUNKARDS. The number of tea-drunkards^ is le­ gion ; they are of both sexes, but more of women than men. Instead of using tea in moderation or as an occasional beverage, they swill it down three or more times a day in quantities that are incompatible with health. They are as much slaves to the teapot as the drunk­ ard is to his bottle; they are tea-drunk ards. Tea in anything but moderation is a poison capable of ruining the stom­ ach, \pfeebling and disordering the heart's] action, shattering the nerves, and* ruining the health and happiness of the victim. In a few words, without hold ihg that the use of tea is as bad as the use of alcoholic liquors, one may well believe that the total-abstinence re formers have, in their red-hot zeal against rum, encouraged an indulgence in tea-drinking which will one day have tb be fought against with might and main to prevent <$he wholesale ruin of multitudes. A- tea-drunkard may be de­ fined as one who drinks strong tea sev­ eral times a day, who depends upon it instead of food and rest for strength, and who cannot go without it without bringing on distressing symptoms. Dr. Combe observes that " tea and coffee not only ruin the stomach, but seriously derange the health of the brain and nervous system."--Troy (N. Y.) Times. THE LITERAL MEANING. How many of us know the beautiful meaning of husband and wife ? " Hus­ band " means " the band of the house," the support of it, the person that keeps it together, as a band keeps together a sheaf of corn. The word " wjfe " means literally a " weaver." Before the great cotton and cloth factories arose, one of the principal employments in every house was the fabrication of clothing-- every family made its own. The wool was spun into thread by the girls, who were therefore called spinsters; the thread was woven into cloth by their mother, who accordingly was called the weaver, or the wife. LAY or THANKSGIVING. Mmn the Smith Had to Carve « TXcrfeey «NNI - Lose a Bride. - ** »E°BGK T. LAKItMJT. FIVE men robbed a stage coach near Fort Laramie. Two of them have been shot dead by pursuers, two of them have been hanged by lynchers, and the survivor has fled the Territory. Trge, He SPUNTKRS. He Holidays are nearly upon He who lives to learn learns to .......Pass In your advertise- «t® gentlemen for the Holiday de Breyer'g Comedy Com* oy at Rlverstde Hall tO-morrow,eve* ig........The Captain, first Mate tl entire crew of the Steamer "John Field," attended Church a week ago t Sunday. Setafil Who said Imw set those shavings on fire f.. . •We know a young man who has t ashamed to sit on Ills mother'a lap, I she says it Jooks a little suspicious obably lie U In the business himself toldlug somebody else.,..... ."Leud » a lantern, quick, Johnny ft jwned,M Bo»h0o~hoo*o-e<4>....... ople who ehop mince-meat «bouiiS jep their Angers from uuder the ! aver. Some people are so dread- ly sensitive that they become worse in seasick when they pick a thumb II out of the mince meat........ tiStlng officer Abbott took a trans- rt down the river ou Monday. He dhe heard there was a "soldier" - Itipg for him at Algonquin.' got away from me and 1 can't find ™ . 1 know he Is in the Race . Bo- HhooHtw-ott Mr. Cotton, from todstock, talks of starting a new Dtograph Gallery In this village.... .Writing School, by Prof. Barker, a even lug There was great ttnotion on Turtle Dove Avenue one ht last,week. We don't know what i the cause, but suspect--suspect t--well, we inspect........In put- g up a stove pipe remember that p elbow was made to lit the oven or, aud that six blows with an axe 11 knock thunder and lightning out jaiy Joiut..,. That fellow has paken that new cross-walk, and a V--T*ntt.tTr»rttm* LN»LRIN(R ) How many legs a chicken ha£. How many wings * lamb, He did not knoye at all, I fear He did not care a bit. [?>„turkey »t the restaurant te oft had come across In joints or slices, tempered o'er /*' v With jelly or with sauce. f ' Bat whether turkeys in that shape Were reaped from off the tree Or excavated from the min«» , He did npt know, not he!; "Smith," jovially said to him his , Prospective father-ip-law, "Thou hast a chance to cover thee With surgical eclat. As carving no accomplishment ' Is there a man should know Who soon may 'gin his housekeeping--- Ha, ha! He, he! Ho, ho I" • Mi«<! Jon Vina md aa flunn ahn flimhM: Bmitli thrilled in every limb, And whispered 'tween his gritted teeth, *' Suppose that I carve him!" Just then he lifted up sad eyes, Sad eyes and was aware Mias Jenkins1 cousin'd put his w * Upon the back of her chair. O jealousy, thou art a green- Eyed monster far from wise! > Miss Jenkins1 cousin scanned him with A pair of laughing eyes, And Smith he cynically thought, " O woman, frail as fair, Viper I cherished in my breast • With caramels so rare, ' The love I bore an hour ago, O woman, fair and frail, Aa dead as any Ctesar is. Or herring, or door-nail. The croaking raven beUows for Revenge. Revenge ; ha, ha! Have it will I on her and my Prospective father-in-law." The turkey was a tough one, Dull was the carving-knife, Such treatment Bergh had never Allowed the bird in Ufe. All at the white and juicy breast He sawed and hacked amafh, Until it looked like a lumber-yard After a hurricane. Once the bird slipped beneath his knife Upon the platter bare, And with an unctuous train made a Parabola in air. It lighted with an awful thud In a maiden lady's lap, And Smith, the unabashed, showed oo Regret for the mishap. He did not blush, nor faint, nor make Apologies absurd, . But only pleasantly remarked, Sa-ay, gimme back that bird." With blameful blade he did invade The craw ; and with such stress That he showered the dressing on the guests From its true inwardness. He hacked the turkey into chunks ; It limb from limb he tore ; The fragments covered the table-cloth For two square yards or mora. He waved on his fork a thigh-bone, And cried with a bitter sneer, " Will anybody have ttusf -» Who is't says ' Turkfey • here? » He dropped it into the gravy-boat And the guests that sat around Were with gravy surprised, and eke baptized And eke bedrenched and drowned. She wed that eouain will, Forgetting the Smith ahe jewed at.,. <«r his lack of carving skttl. But the cousin doth the turkey v' Admire. He saith of him. musim; H® is the very noblest fish That on the earth doth swim. «el' v-': •«-: &IONEEH ̂ ;:/*C ZMeresttng Rnnlntncenee ̂ ̂ U ancient dame who settled in In- y0 ,nft sixty years ago--she is now 94 , ITS old--recently fcave a correspond? a few reminiscence^ ofrher early life fu the frontier. She window to our hous •jk: "We had |, and the door rhich was hung Sad a large fire- lich a fire was [babe was then }H( s made of a blanket , er the doorway. We Fi ice made of sticks* in in; rays kept burning. M th iionths old. th All we had to keep h^use with was a ci4all provision-chest, a b«ll-metal tea- t«it!e, a sugar-bowl, pewter {dates, and Onjne cups and saucers. When we moved into our cabin we K ! r no and, as my son, then 4 elei °^' wh°°ping"c°ugh, I wlf be dangerous to place wif! on t^ie Pancheon floor, so I had my ln jband make a hammock by euspend- att< a (luito from the rafters by a bed- 01. . sim ^e "wefe a table out of a walnut ing > &nd then three stools, and onr and sekeeping outfit was completed. its i Well, as I told you, my husband thai ted to mill and expeoted to be ab- has ; a week. I had a brother living it a incennes who had sent us word that the ronld pay us a visit, and I was ex- *'ev ing him. " • ^ rh&^tKxjtnd night after my husband I heard some hallooing down in the oms, and(I felt certain that it was brother who had lost his way in the Icness. J immediately answered the iti« and it was promptly responded to, ocJ continued to approach. I set a th^dle on a stump in the yard, and, leaving my little boy sitting in the door, advanced toward the wood, tilling to the approaching person to oome to the?light. "You cannot imagine my fright at hearing the yell between me and the house, and, on looking around, discov­ ered a large panther pass between the light and my boy. I gave a scream and picked up the candle, and dashed into the house and lowered the quilt. I can't tell you how long that night "was, or the nights which fallowed until the return of my husband. " I had to bake my bread at a ^neigh­ bor's, and usually went over at^hight, but never dared to go unless I carried a firebrand in my hand. Many a time I've seen the flashing eyes of a panther, but they never dared attack me on ac­ count of the fire. " When the neighbors went visiting in those days, they took their teams and guns and stayed a week, the men hunt­ ing and women quilting and helping each other at their domestic duties. « C&RREJST ITEMS, ONE leak will sink a ship, and one lift { will destroy a soul. ^ \ A MAGISTRATE in Caldwell oounfy Ky., has held his place since 1810. , NORTH CAROLINA claims the vegetabl* phenomenon of an apple growing on i grape-vine. TWF sum contributed to Princeton College under the Presidency of Dr. Me* Cosh has reached $200,000. A CERTAIN degree of disregard for- public opinion is absolutely necessary for one's individual dignity, virtue aadl happiness. ^ IN damp closets, strong rooms, and other places where mildew is d ed, a trayful of quick lime will prevent it. A GYMNASTIC youth of Leicester, gland, lately fell from a trapeze,_ which he was practicing, only six feet from the ground, and, striking <m hk head, broke his neck. THE city of Marseilles proposes, to saise a loan of 10,000,000 francs for pub­ lic works, in addition to a aum of 1,500,- 000 francs the Government has prom­ ised to contribute for special under­ takings. "• MR'. ALLSOP, the famous brewer, at an annual dinner of Birmingham pub­ licans, warmly recommended the en­ larged sale of non-intoxicating liquors. He did not -settle what liquors wttM.v non-intoxicating. • THIS is likely to be a winter of dread­ ful distress in England. In the oottoii districts the foreboding^ are of the gloomiest. The glut of goods is unprece­ dented, and production m being re­ stricted on all sides. A SCHOOLMISTRESS at Newburg, ft. Y., was arrested for whipping a boy. She proved the boy bad, and, instead of having to pay $2,000, she secured a ver­ dict of $25 against the boy's parents for. the annoyance of the arrest. ' I A LIVERPOOL man was recently odH ' victed and fined the fifteenth time for the offense of refusing to have his chil-' dren vaccinated. He continues to re­ fuse, and is likely to be the subjeot of Ik permanent tax in fines and costs. A SINGULAR remedy for indigestkxt recommended by MI English Magazine is chewing different kinds of green leaves when out of doors, and swallow­ ing the juice. Any leaves not nauseous or poisonous are recommended. DONELLY, the Irish pugilist, whra asked by £ novics in his science wSlS ' was the best way to learn to fight, re­ plied, " Och, sir, there's no use in life in a man learning to fight unless nature gives him a bit of taste for it." THE young King of Spain is said to be far less nervous in regard to assas­ sins than the old Emperor of Germany. The first has been fired at only onoe, while the Emperor--counting his im- *• enough! I put the milk in a gallon jug and shook it until it was churned. The trouble sometimes was in getting the butter out of the jug. I have frequently gone to mill alone when I had to swim the horses across the il^er, the boat not being large enough to carry them. I have often seen the women walk five miles on a visit and carry a babe. They would set the child straddle of one of their hips, and, putting the arm around it, could carry a large child with ease. The men in those days wore buckskin trousers and went barefooted in summer, while the children seldom had shoes at all.* " How did I make butter? Oh, easy perial experience only--has been shot Between the dusk and the daylight, When the shadows longer grow, There cometh s silence on all things And the hour when 'tis time to go. Upriseth the Smith, departing. Says the Jenkins to him, " Hold, In half an hour we'll have supper. And some of that turkey, cold," Upriseth then Miss Jenkins: " O Smith, don't be an ass ; One chair will answer for us to-night, And we will turn down the gas." But the Smith he would not listen, The 8mith he would not hear, He hied him to the threshold And spoke in tones severe: " I have not been o'er jealous, Noj covetous of pelf; Get another prospective son-in-law, And carve the turkey yourself." So saith the Smith, and vaiSihed. Meaarvhile the cousin placed His arm, not round the back ofthw chair, But about Miss Jenkins' waist. \ " By your love inspired e'er could.1 Come to such a sorry pass, ' As hath in the matter of carving That slow-departing aaa ? " Ere cometh around Thanksgiving PECULIAR PEOPLE. The man with neck whiskers. Schoolgirl who doesn't chew gum. He who picks his teeth with a fork. The man who does not like to hear himself talk. Bar-keeper who " draws the froth at the bottom." Woman who can walk gracefully with small heels. Young lady with pretty teeth who 1 doesn't like laughing. ^ A man who considered a bar bill a debt of honor. The man who can " smile and umiln * and not be a villain. The man who takes out a paper of fine-cut in a crowd. Young lady with a mole on her aim who likes short sleeves. The man who never drinks anything stronger than buttermilk. A young man of 20 who does not know more than a man of 40. Young married man who doesn't cringe when he wheels out his first baby. An editor that is not capable of run­ ning his paper better than other people that try to. A man who can preserve perfect ur­ banity in a party of ladies when his sus­ pender button has just parted. BOSTON policemen are compelled to wear leather collars, the intention being to make them hold up their heads in a soldierly manner ; but the leather rubs their chins, and the constraint grows exceedingly irksome after a few hours. The policemen complain loudly, but the Commissioners say that something is necessary as a check on the tendency to slovenliness. at three times, and hit once. THE shortest Thanksgiving tion of the season is from the Governor of Oregon. The substance of the docu­ ment is in four lines, but there is an im­ portant omission. The Governor neg­ lects to mention to whom tfae thanftp are to be given. ** ENGLAND is beginning to reoeiife meat from Southern Bussia, and a rep­ resentative of a German house has in­ vaded Sheffield, and is offering scissors and such like goods, serviceable and well-finished articles, at from 15 to 40 per cent, below the manufacturers' prices. WOMEN often dress as men lor tikfe sake of getting employment, but why %. man lived foryears in Dakota in petti* coats, passing for "Mrs. Noonan," and doing laundry work for the soldiers ai Port Lincoln, is not explained. fraud was not discovered, but he con­ fessed it on his deathbed. TWELVE Austrian officers have been selected to reorganize the Persian armj. They have entered into an obligation to remain three years in the Persian set* vice. The payment amounts to threo times the amount received at homfe The reorganization is to be analogous^ to that of the Austrian army. , GRAINS OJF GOLD. A curt answer has two edges. The doctor's memory is apt to faiL None are overstocked with patience^ The right must sometimes yield o# fight. ^ Death has nothing terrible in it bn| • what life has made so. Censure is the tax a man pays the public for being eminent. The man lacks moral oourage who treats when he should retreat. ^ Motives are like harlequins--there i|| always a second dress beneath the first^ Make a man think he is more eun|| ning than you, and yon can easily out­ wit him. > If you would render your children helpless, never compel or permit them to help themselves. Never reflect on a part action which was done with a good motive and the best judgment at the time. Absence destroys small passions and increases great ones, as wind blows tapers and kindles fires.