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ur< GBLXSTXJUk wr g. u witaoif. i by-and-by it downing, Is® . ... £§*•• 5*: \v^ * * ,-^xA ^ _ ^ ' f t • -BriffhterfflMm*theotbwr alm*^ <&pi\ • %»4arit gn» between In yawning. ifi ;Sl 9nt a brooklet runii before: " nntjeama eliiM" th" 'Tafhertflg «!>,« iooniHig In our natal *Kv, fi|l they light the glades and .1 Yn £KA nf " " " " . * - i , • ' flee the reaper, In the ralley, w i p Cutting down the golden bltrtMfc; f --; iktas sheaves he "bound a Ittjr , i( For the garner of the tomb; , ' !.' Bat the Ix>rd of Harvest Saw ft: $... •* j-'*"' And its beanty caught tis "wet.' iii. •JfrQ He said," X will truis^aatlt fn my upper Paradise.** ! «1 '*• i * > - '.if' '*' ",4o 6e called a Boning anget Tl^at was sitting near His throne, 1, ,' .***1at6 eatti: *" Seoeiv#myA^«|l^*-|-: •; • • • Bly to yonder darker zone; ' :" Tor, behold! the reaper gathered, ^ f J,» *&emtaint of golden <rraifc^ ' Onebrtgtitfily that I pfimttd - ,M **»«*•%, f e", u - ' " Jfeta that to the dim-lit valley t^} | ,, >' *,+ ' * Where the caUa-Mlies blow, '"• * iL^r**' t?*08 n*y ^ .' f. verdantemeraldMftl !i*l? '"•< ': • Sfaite thee •with my messagfc, liMto'CiMvi.) $£:' Ere it be at least too late;. - f.; »fc. » . , . §«?H TSSp#ed «*» *c the frta rmy*K ' j ' [e That flight the' gOOd ©Id 3MU1 pit •. , v Ear beyeud the pearly gala.?,,,, ' """ril ' • ¥ T* • v i [i • ; r»J •»i '& n>< •ft- ;' '-m »w ' «*; f„,. V'* ~iv.' k*\* And her slaters Mm itras , JPItf toot t«sr lister with hw, Starting Irom the realm above; Down they fleet, those souls imuao&t, 1 , " bd their wings of light and trath^l,-:|. « m»tlMt theyreach the portal 1 Of the dwelling-place of youth. .>• ||S •* they saw th« Illy lying * ! T^th the golden-bearded gralpj, '* • ^ Where the harvester had left It : Ul he should return again;-; •• • Audit lay there bleeding, dying, | ' • i With no source ol sure nttri* _ ' And its vital powers morbid, • f<;f l^hdy bound within the sheaf.; • ;̂ T T3>enthey broke tlie band asnnder That had bound it with the whe^ l " ."Turning then their eyes to wonderf * * | (i On the flowers so complete, r ' ] > eyes with tears did glisten. " 'Kj . jLpve then clasped it to herWearf^j " • ^ feack they sped to that elysitim «• In the Eden-land of rest. f. f. i i:; ft »46t ±jrtt'< 1 ^ f| 'i .t H»pe where cherubinj are raising ,®igh ttieir voices In a sang, And in holy anthems praiBing g ' ' to whom all thanks belong^?!: • Orows the lily, ever blooming, 2^11- Booted in the fertile sod, ' inhere eteqial life is flowing: J iTrom the biasing throne 6t Q6&. - « J***®8-^Ri;«rF\a - h'f'r *R*r. fa;.,^7^4,reflection qtthe earth,wldichOod Ponnri Iowa. p • »-. r . ;|. i'::t %; p - ' 1?$ {f* A^-AV- ,«m , K V? •* J >£&<%*>, *.« n +M mm -. .4... furos%, *" " H JUDGE VBik * , ^IB a lonedy valley in .the western part *otj Netr York, twenty jeaxs ago, there ^tooi an old house, long before deserted If everything human, and left as the 4tvorite haunt of the bats and owls which thickly thronged the wooded Kills 4nring the night-time, but, seeking -ishelfcer under the eaves and in dark lelosete of the old ruin during the day, ! «»ted undisturbed. •»• • "i'or years the old house bad thus «tood, dark, dismal and deserted. The |̂fe#^liOat different times had attempted 'to find shelter in the house on some fliight whan belated and kept from home iJJftlie' sttdden storms BO common to that -country were never a^le to settle there la peace and quiet the night through. • Everything about the house during the ~«ariy hoax* of the night was quiet •^MMqpt th« noise ° made by the blattering of some owl or bat, as these ^ V,J' animals one after another went forth for >1iieir night's frolic, or were disturbed by ^UKS intruder. But, no sooner would one into the large-walled room, which : heen the sitting-room for the old In- ' ;hahitants and was. now the,, only dry Trtortt in the house during a storm, than ;' 'there would be heard a sad cry, almost tfinioatt, of "De Pue, De Fuel'1» ' a! a, 1 powder would the storm howl-outside,' kid seeming to say to the timid traveler, a*f • »^ay inside. But that terrible, mourn- *W cry of "De Pue, De Pue " was too , unnch for the strongest nerves, and «a*ery one who had tried to solve the r®^terj- aside from the solution given, m beih driven forth into the storm, «®&ble to pass a night with that iiip^s- fllKiit cry ringing in their ears, "De ,Pue, 3(>ePue, De.Pue." • >The estate was owned by a rieh bac&- «k>r who lived in the city far away, and had mj^de numerous attempts to se- Mnue a tenant to take eharge of and Te- !*wide in the old house, bat no one eould lie hired to stay a night through in the <%0use; and so for years it had thus re- vttained, slowjy decaying, and given over to the wild fowls of the woods. .. f .Neighbors, honest people wh6 had Iftng resided in its vicinity, told a story ,<of the old house, to the effect that, years .. Jptfore, an uncle of the present owner lad lived there, a kind-hearted old gen- • Aeman, loved and respected by all. He never seemed m hap^yt̂ y^p doing an act of kind- *1^!= f'fu« .15,-A -i !Ehe danger grew into a nandsome woman, manried, and Went to the neigh­ boring home of her farmer husband. The nephew went to the city to college, but did not do welL The unsophisti-, Wiled country lad found evil eompanions ift the great school in the mty, beoame CffitaSigled in a dishonorable aAtir with dftughter of one of the pro^ewots oi the school, and was sent out from the College in disgrace, fleeing to escape the vengeance of an outraged law. The <Stdy place where he could hope to find •id was in his old home. Money he i^ust have to escape from the country, aiid his uncle must be appealed to for that sum. Old Mr. Da Pue was an hon­ est man, and of that old Puritan stock that could forgive never where it would do an injury or compromise the laws of the State. So young Rodney had little to anticipate from the interview, and, when it wae over hand he was sent from the presence of the old man's righteous indignation* he had gained nothing by ttte visiti r-J' •• <:.;•••• :u ?•*' .' bh'ii • i , ,<!*•/.'• . fi > <*L " Vfc'" i a The doors of his house were ever .;*0|>en to those in need of shelter, and gay companions of his child and •4trphaned nephew, the present bachelor downer, would assemble on an evening wed make merry w|th appropriate tea- '^fivities. ." • • • - . 5 <* This nephew, Bodney De Pue, was child of an only brothel, and, on t ihe death ot liis father, had come to ' aaake his home with Ins uncle, who had /HI ®° ,«nd ^ :o^ &M, t beautiful ( > ( lu' .^xl.of 1&I •• ;s I.***. . ; , '* Tlnw thingn inm anmOly along. i Vr^'% *l> . •. was murdered, and every finger pointed to young Bodney as the perpetrator of the dastardly deed. But there was not pjroof sufficient to conyict, and, as the death of the uncle left him the wealthy estate, no one was anxious to prove the crime against him. So he was freed from prison, and, settling the less-im­ portant affair at school, he left the vi­ cinity of his boyhood home. ., > In the city he found a family to come Out and work the place, but they never iremained the second night. The evening they came was a stormy one, and the family gathered in the blue fitting-room after supper. As all be­ came quiet except the roaring of the jjtorm without, the conversation turned npon the subject of the death of the {prmer occupant. " Well, Mr. Bodney was not the one that did the murder," Mrs. Chase was just saying, when a voice froxn a dis­ tance said, "De Pue! DePuel" •' The Chase family looked from one to tnother in astonishment and alarm until "young Jack, the mischief-maker, was thought of by than. " It's only one of Jack's tricks, moth- &•/' said her good husband, settling back to his pipe. " Don't thee become frightened." And the wind whistled around in the valley, past the old house, and off through the woods over the mountain, seeming to catch up the farmer's last words and whisper, " Frightened, frightened!" "Jack, Jack; call Jack," said Mrs. Chase. " That boy will yet be the 4eath.ofmt with his p^uo^." And tb# Mttle pale-faced /womap looked nervously out into the dark cor­ oners of the laxge room, and, spying the supposed culprit in a distant corner, Went toward him. As she bent over the boy he was found to be fast asleep, and from feway above came a voice that strudk a chill to every heart, and they listened. ^[ir r': ,s " la! ̂ ^Puer̂ ; &&V* ii seemed t^s^y. " father, dtf you hear tha4?"i cried the little woman; " tuid Jack is asleep." " Asleep, asleep 1 De Pue, De Pue!M moaned the voioe. . " I will see who is trying toscare me** said the stout-hearted man, picking up the eandle and going out. After a vain search through all the rooms, he re­ turned unable to find mortal except the four members of the family. But from first neat, thdn fa*) would come that ter­ rible wail: * "De Pue, De Pue, De Pue!" " MOh, father, what is it?" ctied the wife and children. " De Pue, De Pue,* cried the Voice froi» the ceiling above. ! "God help us!" cried the fatmer; "the house is in the hands of, the spir­ it of the murdered!" ' ' "De Pue, De Pue!" put in the voice. "Yps," he continued. "The ghost of the murdered De Pue is here, and we must away." And the morning sun shone forth from behind the dark clouds and lighted up the now-deserted old house, as if no ghost or hobgoblin had driven the hon­ est farmer's family out into the stormy night to seek shelter at a near neigh­ bor's, where the story of the mysterious voice had been told. From time to time, others had . tried to live there, but to Mb tide. The voice was there and none could be in­ duced to pass the jseoond night in the hearing of it. , „ But about the time of which I write, when the old house was almost a com­ plete wreck, the owner determined to make a last attempt to solve the mys- tea*y of the voice, and get some money from the rented of the large house. He had an orphaned son of his dead cousin under his charge, and determined he Bhould personally investigate the affair. "Robert," said the rich bachelor, one morning, "I have heard that you intend settling down to a farmer's life, the kind of an occupation your father and grandfather followed before you, and, also, intend to get married." w Yes, sir," interrupted Robert, with a smile. "The same as my father and grandfather did before me." "Wall," continued hit uncle, "Iwant to do well by you, andlintend W. But there is one thing I want you to do in payment for this," and the uncle's voice sank to a sadder tone and a troubled cloud passed over his brow. "I* want you to solvo the mystery of t^e voioe at the old house. X do not believe it is the work of spirits, and am sure my uncle, whom God knows was never harmed by hand of mine, would not, if he could, come back to trouble others. Now, my boy, clear the old house of its ghost and the old homestead, with its broad acres, is youri."' What do you lay to the proposition?* ' "Just this, sir; I am not afraid of its ghost, as I will show ^ou. To-morrow I will take some carpenters and go out and repair things. Fix it up in modern style, and next week come for you to go to a wedding in the old bine room, where not the ghosts, but youth and beauty, will hold full sway. And now for my preparations. Ned Stone will go out with me, and, while the men are at work, we will bury the " ghost,' or chase the evil spirits back to the depths from whence they came;" and, with a merry laugh, Bob left the room to put his pian into operation. / As the sun was sinking behind a dark line of thunder heads that lined the western sky, a few days after the above conversation, Bobert Sandhop^- and Ned Stone were seated before, a cheer­ ful log fire in the blue room of the old house. The smoke was slowly curling up from the ends of their fragrant Ha- Yanas, as they larily lotmged in the easy chairs before the grate. "Where is our ghost, Ned?" said Bobert, after a short lag in the con- versation. " Gone to tbe devil, entirdy," hurfimed Ned. ; •***'• * !! u But, how, Ned, fieriotisly, what do you think, or who do you think, it was, for farmer Jones told me only this morning that his second cousin, John Jones, of Jonesville, had seen a man who had heard the ' voice' last wefek." " Oh, did he ?" said Ned, and then both the young fellows laughed and joked until Ned looked out and ex­ claimed: • ' " * " Well, now, if it isn't raining like fun! "' ' , * * ; " Like • ten,,' lik^1 fun |̂repeated V a voice. "'•* . "' ' " What! did you repeat like fliii, Bob? " asked Ned,' turning quickly. " Why, no, Ned, I thought you were humbling it over." " I never said it but once." " De Pue, De Pue," whispered a vofee. "What do, you say to that, Ned? " asked Bob. w/phat is the , voice, ju|t as they said " >?. t, M Oh, bosh," said Ned | " I didn't hear it n l «i - 1 You did, you did," whispered the voice from overhead, and the young fellows looked at each other. " What did it say then? " asked Bob. "I thought it said 'Oh, bosh! Oh bosh!'" " Why, I thought it said,' You did, you did,'" answered Ned, somewhat puzzled. "It's fron>; up stairs^ anyway," stud Ned, "and here goes to find the old fellow. I would like to see a genuine, old ghost, just hot from the miUn. X want to find out how some of my friends, who have gone before, are getting along." And laughing, though not any too easy, the young fellow went up stairs. Into the roon> above they went. As they opened the door above, an owl flew out. The handle was ex­ tinguished, and the whispered sound of De Pue, De Pue," -came from the room. M Strike a light, Bob," said Ned; "we are right on to him, and mustn't let him blnft us." And, as the flickering light threw its sickly glare aroun<£ the room, they burst into a hearty laugh and tjke mystery of the( voice was revealed. There, in the center of the room, was a large piece of sheet iron, placed in the form of a trough to run off the water that, every time there was a storm, fell in large, slow drops from a hole in the old roof above. They stopped and listened, and soon a hard gust Of wind blew over the house, and the drops fell, striking the tin, pat, pat, pat, pat, and making a noise that an excited imagination could easily translate into * De Pue, De Pue,* 4s they hit the iron below. • , And thus was mystery of the voice cleared. < A few weeks after, there was a happy, new-married couple in the old house. And years after, on long winter even­ ings, little children would gather around the mother's knee, and listen again to the story of De Fuels Ghost.' r** w? ItCAHOll, 111. * . Hgf.1 ' i . MOURNING RKFORM. In England there has been a society formed called the Mourning Beform Association; the members adopting the broad ground that funerals vhottdd be conducted and mourning worn without the unmeaning pomp, vain ostentation, and dismal pageantry of hat-bands, scarfs, plumes, mourning coaches, heavy crape trimmings, and the like, which involve unprofitable expenditure, inflict severe hardships upon pearsons of limited means, and neither mitigate gziaf nor manifest Mipept loi tha dead. tmttf jr«|0<«fifc [Camp Robinson Our. Chicago Timea.j Trails were discovered leading in the direction of a large range of hills some eighteen miles northwest of Bluff sta­ tion, a distance of forty-six miles from this post, and were followed byiDapt. Wessells until he was withipi three miles, of the hills,, where he halted and formed skirmish lines. All four companies de­ ployed as skirmishem Company F, Lieut. Baxter, iiiuy^u from Mouth to northeast; Company H, Capt. Wessells, took up a position directly opposite; Company E, Oapt. Lawson, closed in at the mouth 6f the ravine where the Indians had intrenched themselves, and, Company A moved to their rear, thus hemming them in on all sides and leav­ ing no possible avenue «f escape. The Indians had placed themselves in a deep washout, keeping under cover. As soon as the skirmishers were within 150 yards of the savages' stronghold the latter opened a deadly fire, killing Sergfc. Tag- garfc, Privates Brown and Nelson, * of Company A, and dangerously, if not fatally, wounding Private Deboisse, of Company H. Despite the dreadful vol­ ley poured into the troaps, they steadi­ ly advanced, and when within seventy- five yards of the savages' position fire was Opened on all sides With terrible effect. At this moment Capt. Wessells, leading his company and loudly cheer­ ing them forward, reoeived a slight scalp wound from a pistol in the hands of one of the bloodthirsty Cheyennes, rendering him cpmpletely insensi­ ble. Lieut. Chase, commanding Com- A, seeing the commanding offi­ cer fall, rushed forward, instant' ly seized Capt. Wessells, and car­ ried him beyond the range of the enemy's fhre. Then, dashing to the head of his own company, he gallantly led them to the very edge of the wash­ out where they fought the enemy with unabated fury. Meanwhile the in­ trepid Wessells, having regained con­ sciousness, again came to the front, and, seeing the ground strewn with the dead bodies of the savages, im­ plored his men to cease firing, with a view to get the remaining Cheyennes to surrender, but the latter stubbornly refused, rushing at the troops with for-, midable hunting-knives, having ex^ pended all their ammunition, deter, mined to surrender to death only. But ere they had advanced many paces there was a volley from the troops, and all was Over:- Companies F and £ were not in a position to do much, while Col. Evans with D and B companies re­ mained6 on tlie opposite bluff from where Capt. Wessells started, and not knowing the position of Wessells' com­ mand arrived too late for action. On the cessation of firing the dead bodies of twenty-three Indians were found in the rifle-pits occupied by them, includ­ ing seventeen bucks, four squaws, and two papooses. Nine remained, of whom one buck and five squaws were more or less wounded, and three squaws Un­ hurt. Of the troops but the three heretofore mentioned were killed and Capt. Wessells and one private of his company wounded. The latter cannot live. , MlfconiTY MSPBBSimtATZOSr. ( Mr. Springer, of Illinois, has intro­ duced in Congress a bill to secure to the people of every State equal and just representation. It provides that after the next census the Legislatures of each State shall apportion the State under the census of 1880, so as to provide that, when more than two members are elect* ed in a State the.State shall be divided into districts of three members each, as far as possible,and when there are two odd representatives--that is, over three, or six, or nine, etc.--there shall be one dis­ trict consisting of five members. In districts consisting of three members, every elector shall vote only for two members of Congress, and in districts entitled to five members, every elector shall vote for three members. He pre­ sented in connection with his bill a statement showing that under it there would have been elected at the last No­ vember election front tike Southern States 34 Republicans, instead of 6, or a Republican gain of 28, while the Demo­ crats would have realized a like gain in the North; that the general result would have been the same, but that the Re­ publican minorities at the South and Democratic minorities at the North would have been equally represented in Congress, and that the 4,000,000 of col­ ored population could not control the election of 22 members in the following States: Alabama, 8; Arkansas, 1; Geor­ gia, 3; Louisiana, 2; Mississippi, 2| North Carolina, 3; South Carolina, 2; Tennessee, 2; Texas, 2; and Virginia, 2. A 8TMANGJB BKhtHW, Like cures like, some people tt^lr In Burmah mad dogs and dogs sup­ posed to be mad are not only killed, bnt eaten, the flesh of a mad dog being, in the opinion of the Burmese, not only the best antidote to the poison of the tooth, but a prophylactic against hydro­ phobia. A crowd, the other day, accord­ ing to a Rangoon paper, were seen in the streets of that city hacking a dog to pteom utd for which, when secured, were taken home and fried and eaten by their fortunata possessors. The dog was mbid a&d had bitten several persons, some of whom haVe sinoS died. It was ultimately chased and clubbed to death, and those who devoured its remains flatter them> selves that they axe now hydrophobia- proof forever. s 5. PRACTICAL SCtJSlTGm * Ttee gradual mode of seasoning is the mOst favorable to the strength and du- n^bility of timber. *< K When the fibers oi materials cross each other*- friction is less than when they run in the same direction. ^ UNDER the pressure of the atmoeph&a alone the temperature of water cannot be raised above its boiling point. ' IN high-speed belting the tension,' dr the breadth of the belt, should be in- Creased in order to keep the belt froi& slipping. Long belts are more effective than short ones. ' • ' ' TIMBER freshly cut contains about 37 to 48 per cent, of liquids. By exposufcb to the fur in seasoning one year it loses from 17 to 25 per cei^t., and wfregt sear soped it yet retain# from 10 to is per o®**- . ^v , ' / A GOOD waterproof cement is made by dissolving five parts of' gelatine in hot' water, and adding one part of chromate of lime ; tile cement must be kept in vesiiels which afce' well shielded from light. CHARRING or pointing timber is highly injurious to any but seasoned lots, as it effectually prevents the drying of the inner part of the wood, in consequence of which fermentation and decay soon take place. New Remedies describes the follow­ ing easy method of making a hole in plate glass: Make a circle of clay or cement rather larger than the intended hole; pour some kerosene in the cell thus made, ignite it, place the plate up* on a moderately hard support, and with a stick rather smaller than the hole re­ quired, and a hammer, strike a rather smart" blow. This will leave a rough- edge holey which may be smoothed with a file. Cold water is said to answer even better than a blow. , u ) , . . BRIGHT MBVI j IES . A wee friend of ours thinks herself quite as smart as her brother, though she has seen but her fifth winter, while he is passing through his eighth. He is doing his * first lesson^" as a" pri mary," and the other day retimed from school not a little puffed up with knowl­ edge. "Marion," he asked, in that style which a big brother assumes when pat­ ronizing a little sister, " Marion, do you know that the earth turns round? " " Of tos I does," answered Marion, re­ senting the imputation of ignorance; "that's the reason tumbles out of bed!" /';; • ^; Marion is very observing, though she has not yet learned to classify the facts which she gathers. Her reasoning, therefore, like that of " children of a larger growth," is often defective through imperfect generalization. Not long since her mother had occa­ sion to remove some wax from Marion's ears. It was the child's only acquaint* ance with " wax " until a week or two afterward, when a dressmaker came to do the family sewing. Saving waxed her thread, Bhe laid the lump of beeswax on a chair. Marion eyed ft curiously, and then asked: " What is that?* * ' ' " That's wax." ' it '( " Oh," she exclaimed, in her most sympathetic tone, "did all that tome out of your eai$ It was several minutes before the dressmaker's hand was sufficiently steady to go on with her work. RICHNESS BOTH WATS, He had been sitting still so long that the mother expected to find him asleep, when she looked around and asked: "Well Harsy, what are you think­ ing of?" "Ma, are you very rich?" he solemnly inquired, by way of reply. f ' "In one way we are," she said. " Your father says he Talues me at $3,000,000,' and the baby at $1,000,000." That closed the conversation on that subject, but next morning, as Harry was getting on his overcoat, he examined the new patch which had been added1, and coolly observed: >"Well, I think father had better sell off about half of you or the whole «f the baby and get the rest of us some decent duds to put on."--Detroit Free &reg&:l*-i •/' '"fHJI TOBACCO TAX. ^ The people who have been here for the last three or four weeks agitating for the reduction of the jtobaoco tax express great confidence in their ability to secure a reduction to 16 cents. They say that they have canvassed the House, and that the only place where there is any difficulty is in the Senate. When once the measure has passed the Sen­ ate it will go to the House, where Ran­ dolph Tucker will take charge of it, and has made arrangements with members to push it through.--lFas/<ington dis- my life, mj •e cried, his flame: "If I 'adze such a love as your*, N ask no other blessing! " "tam rejoist to hear •pe^kr," m?»iflen said, Now, if HI* love von imt a bit. What further can yott ax met Can--will yon be content with Or will yon further tacks-mel" • =: fi t •i He looked handsaw herworfla . ^ . . ^Ho rival can displace m£-- Yes, one more favor I implore, " f.. ,. nW* tt»»U», rfesr 1nqoe ssstr, • i* tnnvm, OM»came fall chisel to his arau; V** «*»y. him staif ' ':!5£ "* 1° has her make •fUttkr Ub£"JM Before he could prepare. ^ •«tried to screw bifc.&ftirigeapt ^ ' -:i A n d d i d h i s l eve l b e s t , , , , t . 0'U / To nail the matter then and there, -While clasped unto Vfr Says he: "It augers well fbriKe; • : C M M M I '"1 what is mortise plane to see, . The porch child wants a kiss." " * Se kissed her lip, he Wseed her oltailt, A|»d called her hia ^dowd--: He dons his olaw-hatnmer next1 iilrt wiil'shweliiabdwdL- --- I'oteMA Strauts. in Boston Jour?uU. ^ / PLEASAWTJRm^! y .WOMAN'S sphere--A mouseis woman's fear. ' f Now is tike time to1 They are seldom So low. ;A ^tnwi aan with bH^firtf ipoatee may be said to have a tuft time of it. WHEN a man knits his brows he is very apt to darn somethings-or words to that effects WB have seen a chimney smoke anda chimney swallow, but , we don't .know whether it drinks, ... , , WHEN a girl hunts a husband the engagement ring, to be in keeping, should be " chased." 'ttj' ? *vX^k.» ft* LfvJt*.'4 Hxused to call his girl ' Cogndmen rather neat, * . , For when one asks him why, he'd My. •'You know Revenge is sWeet." * WHICH two letters of the alphabet are like the most cruel Homan Emperors? N and P. Why N and P? Because the are near O. < ,r . A SMALL boy declined to eat" Soup at dinner the other clay, on the ground that he hadnt aaiy teeth that were little enough for soup. ' ' >'!iSl "Dm you do nothing to resuscitate the body?" was recently askedof a wit­ ness at a Coroner's inquest. "Yes, sir; we settfched'tl^^"poiketa," Irasthe're- P t y . ' ' ' / . I A COURTLY negro recently sent are- ply to an invitation, in which he "re­ gretted that circumstances repugnant to the acquiescence would prevent his ac­ ceptance to the invite." THE class in German (prammer is on the subject of genders. "Miss Flora/ why is 'moon' masculine in German?" "So that she can go out alone nights, I Suppose." K it QUESTION--" The than going from Jerusalem to Jericho fell among-- what ?" Bright Pupil--" He fell among thorns, and the thorns sprung up and choked him." A HENPECKED husband said, in exten­ uation of his wife's raids upon hisscalp: " You see, she takes her own hair off so easily she doesn't know how it hurts to have mine pulled out." ( } )f THB California dairyist who put a rook in the center of every cheese he shipped to South America was actuated by the kindest feelings. He thought the buyer of the cheese would want the stone to kill the skippera with.--Detroit Firee Press.. i "IF fire,* said Mr. Joseph Prud- homme, who had just laid down the paper describing the floods; "if fire is an awful scourge, water is a still more fearful one. You can extinguish a con- flagmtion, but you cannot put out an inundation." J HE was a handsome yoong man who bowed ladies into the store. He cut another fellow out of his girl, where- upon the other fellow put up an artistic shade over his optics. Then he wrote to the inconstant one in. an ironie vein, "Oome to the bower I have shaded for thee." As AN old colored man and his son stopped in front of an umbrella store, the son saw some umbrellas with covers^ on them, and questioned his father : "What's de covers on them dar um'rel- las for?" "Why, chile,dem's put ober de um'rellas to keep 'em dry when it rains," was th» father's response. "I AH almost 71," said Mrs. Myra Clark Gaines to a correspondent, the other day, "and I expect to live till I am 150. .1 come ol a long-hved race. One of my aunta. lived to 115 f and seeing the correspondent scrutinizing her hair, "It isn't dyed;" she said, "and itis very abundant, faUiag below my w a i s t * . v 1 i - • S ' ' J ) ' • < • j - A BEGGAFE knocked at the door, and, unexpectedly, the head of the * family opened it. "Young man," said the latter, "I came here twenty years ago with 2 shillings, and washed dishea for a living, and now look at me." And he threw his chest out and beamed. • "Sir," replied the beggar, «cah yo® di­ rect me to anybody who has a, lot of dishes to oleanf*' -r' , '*T' tern-*} &