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/tl- 1 " * 'iVfc ^^•.'̂ »^aKv;v BT J. ft. MtTDOK. * ?/.*; jf\ * ' ' * • BSHi <' ,!*v ' ^"V ̂*; /--< , ;V s-5!^- tMcfetplan of w*iM'« ttttoilfe, lift* MM and esS-th *na air and sett*# Sippl^--^ W|ffnti| ftywl Attractive forces drawing near*!,." OMoeatlqg #.11 if! one this rolling sphere. Hm deep dark ta that jars the angry oora||f;, •'.. iHisn angry billows war the airy host ' i : ^ Of Vulcan's thundering missiles, hurted ~ JFtaaa throat »ing clouds that veil the wat;ry world, Xhf speech ta deep and loud. Ml elite bat M*, ' Wld. undaunted motion*. No spirit dare #ITC answer to the tempest-wakened throng t •* That moves in haste yonr heaving breast iflftalt. > - ' t Bat "when thy henry pftse restarw Hi sway, And silver wave* with measured movement* play. When shadows blend to cavern* deep and tfroad. 'TTs there man finds the mirror of his UoA, Tlfi glowing heath, bedeckod with lanrel wreaths. And labor's brow, the smile of golden sheaves. Gleam back to Him whose constant watch doth keep Bin footprint* on the glade while. labor sl«$pf Ye bright mosaics, with beauty tessellate "Aft floor o# MtKrt. Yon emblem*. cr*M&; |"' A written scroll outstretched upon the sod' j J • 1 Wbm* «U?>»? ieani the wisdom of a God^.^V•>: Ya*. monar&t otjt, that Mood the war-ships boom, Hat rode tiM mMuttela atom through deepest gloom, •BeffM feith tta t*ad*rg*na till.$enda«ts hang X4k«?j?wel trophies whom Grecian ppets s^ig- TheltVIHtlir, fc|»deeke^ with robes nmseea|^""i'|f.^) fllfc myatlc brnsli she gave a living «nrasn^5':l:",J' To *ojUMUng isles, with massive polonades,; j-g*( Whose awaking domea court beauty to their shidaa,-. • • > : • • • < T ' ' f Afar the ponderous rrimson orb appear*. , * • With hanghty strides--sole monarch ot Ine . . ,. sphere#--•- . , ... j _ T«€» welcome guest* thy oore of heat we ipa!*" . Wlieti pbttkm blasts retire bebeath yonr m». Heath mossy slopes that brace the lofty'pde * Fierce accents roll and shake the vaulted iala; Where hissing lfcv^ clogs the art'ry course, , " TU1 gaping wounds reveal dame nature's force. Aloft hlch heaven's concave pecms to rend® ••!• ; When fragments tty athwart and vapors Up^h^stly formal with demon madness git And fiery tongaaa-to 1mm the throne of heaven. ' • 4 ^ • # >-**•' Trom the arehed roof of ether's houtxlingfspace, ' Pendant by subtle magic gleams a fat* > j t«! i Of iSszsding sm'eetness. Flaming cressets fed ; TVOIM the mighty reservoir ot light who la§«i» *tef:heavenly coursers to grand array. ' $ -»J I.'* Their tmdkless conwe illumed eternal dajSt fj[ 4 " Akrfty realm with tasteless gases fUled, \ . Condensed in 'Siigbt! whfli*- fancy flmmeworks build, , distant s^acoast With harbor gates ajar, 11 * '4iidfbe^eon lights afloat our gnidliig star. ̂ -3^ , L*OKB, Obi®. ' fp&tt " J , 1 • ' : ? " • • ' • » A TJKKRIBLE REVENGE. if'^ \<r »Mft V- !-» * . '^it K> .f • , -W 1 ' ii*» IHHdent of the, Fretteh Mevohtttom. t The Oowttera de 1» Floret was one of '*'• ih« most beautiful and. accomplished iMMnen in Franoe, uid the Gonat, her r̂ ! fitwband, was of veî f -tbo, * old noblesse. '.,V ,Y •, , Before her marriage she had the mis- loî alie to beoome acquainted with a ytwng officer, named Pierre Duhem, iltu at once conceived for h6r the moat fMunionate attachment. Bis attentions were, of course, dis- o«t|9«BKd^>7 the lady; but nevertheless he insisted upon makisg her A tender of hii hajKl, which site declined with fil̂ l̂feut, at the same tiipe, great kin^msw and consideration, assuring: bhh that she felt deeply grateful for his jparnestlj-^pressed admiration, ̂ nd hop- ing he wouid yet find one more worthy than^heiself to become his brides :• |>uiiein lî tene^with 'Apparent calm- Hess to her words, but a keen, observer Wofeld lmve been prepared by the deadly pallor that oversj)reaa his brqw and the ; nervous twitching of the thin, bloodless lip, for the fearful outbreak that fol- io^»a. - "Ifef - i-»,r MJ hi'--. ^u.f yls tbw your final, inevooable t* '•*' W- .\9$ , •Mm ,:SM * r - » « r* ,- V- -#'« 11' r4J • • fa '• ml . ftri; «?•! a brutal "feiniitioB f"' he asked, in a low, hissing tone, at the same time seiising her white | ̂ eh he caUsod to be brought out to stopped by a ^b^on of soldiers drawn trp before the horses' heads, • Count de la Floret spoke a Word of etteonrageTTwnt to his terrtlled wife, and was about to spriai; out to inquire why they were stopped when they carried passes from the National Assembly, when suddenly the coach door was thrown open--a harsh voflse «0iftmand~ ing them both to aHjght. ,r- u 1 ' Perceiving that resistance was worse tliaa usel̂ s, the Count stepped out and assisted his wife t# follow. Almost in* stantly he WHS rudely seized by two sol­ diers, while he, who had conducted the outrage, approaching close to the un­ happy Countess, threw rtside his plumed hat, brushed the tangled masses of hair back from his dark brow, and, standing full in the light of the rising sun, de­ manded of her if she had any recollec­ tion of ever meeting him before. She looked up earnestly io his face for one instant, and then, with a cry of an­ guish, fell oil her knees before him: "Yes--yes; we have; met' before. Spare us; oh, spare usf The wpetpi answered, ,la^8h: " So the !>eautiful and prou l̂ Coun- tess de'sb Floret kneels-- kneels to mel It was I who knelt when we last met." ; She only replied through her tears: , » "Do be gei*erou% Forget the past, q p d s a v e u s . " s • . , : - . . ! "My name is Pierre Duhem, once a poor Captain in the King's army--now General under the glorious republic. 1 swore an oath that, if you ever married a man except me, I would revel in his dying agonies. The time for the ful­ fillment has arriv&d.J ? ? : . "Oh, unsay those* " terrible' words. BtAvd mercy! In Heaven's name, havp, jffercyf' shrieked the ^ounless,'̂ clasp­ ing his knees and turninjg her stream- ^eyesupto hin ̂ , , , "Rise, lovej do .tyo ̂ debase ̂ rours«lf by suing to such a wretch," the Count, Stfad, struggling in vain as he spoke tp free himself. "We are protected by letters from the National Assembly. Let him violate them at his peril.1" Duhem looked around at the speaker with. a fierce sneer, "That for, jour pass," he eried, snapping his fingers. "Soldiers, away with the aristocrat. Obey the cdrders l gave ^ata atf hour ago." At'the word, the •^r6tch6s, who panted for the blood of a noble, dragged the Count a short distance toward a frame barn, and, having torn his clothing from his body, they actually, in broad day-; light, and before the face of his agon­ ized wife, nailed, or rather crucified him on the wall of the barn; and acooir pany of'soldier-cltizeilB amused them­ selves firing at him as atargetfor eight? hours before death made him iesenaible to Iheir atrocities ; for, by their com­ mander's stern orders, they took aim only at the Connt's legs, thighs, feet, neek and right side of the breast, and, ,io make the agpny more lingeriQg, ten men only were permitted to fire during each hot^c, j$d at a ^tan^e (o ̂eighty, 0te{». , _ , . " • v . During all tbiatime, Duhem r«mained' seated on a pile of stones, exulting in the egefofiafcing tortures he caused to be inflicted upon his victim; < How he would deliberately snhoke his pipe, and anon drink his wine ofc eat his food, -fit.-: :•%& :P't m roughly. "It is," she answered, and would have fMroceeded etill further in her attempt to conciliate hnfr, he interrupted her ifljoelir. . ...r^ 'r "Listen to me," he cried, and she «|iank back tremblih ̂from the cold, ^flashing feray ey^d: •'Listen to me- jon triumph now; but marksne, my day Will ^ome yet. I curse you from tlj ̂ l̂ ottom of t my heart, anil my own han4 and brain shall work out the fulfillment of f-that%d«ee. If you ever wed, I will gioat otqs, ij)p ̂ ^ng agomos o| yonr m • jl'H- iwt. "Leave me, lek?e ind* wall ail she |iad •twjKlPto.sayP-.'̂ ^8.-- Hinly h*»ld her white arm tighter in Wi iron ̂ rai*p,'and hissed closer in her «ar"You think these are idle threats, - -ti 1 Ijiii so as the sun is iu heaven will ? 4* ̂ -I make them a terrible truth. Woman, V"* !;• 1 A' "what does aH this mean? I have seen that man before; was it hot a dream then?"" ,1" ; ' ' " With «.• wild, heart-rending Hntiek she broko away from her friends, and sprung from the carriage. By this time the criminal had been forced to kneel down before the platoon of soldiers, and a bandage was being placed over his eyes. Breaking like a tigress through the barrier, the Countess darted forward and tore away the handkerchief from the doomed man's face; theri, £azftig «if Hm for an instant with a fixedness absolute^ appalling, she criml: •" '* "Pierre Duhem,1 is it thoti? !^eayt en be praised, we meet again !" Then, without pausing, ,she crossed quickly to, the commanding officer, and asked < in an excited voice, " Is he to die? " " He is; spare yourself the trouble, for no entreaties can save him, thief and murderer that he is." " Save him--save him 1" she shrieked, hysterically, " O, leave him to my mercy, ard you. shall see how I will save him." " Fire!" eried the commanding officer. A volley of musketry echoed around the walls of Paris, and ovef a dozen bullets riddled the heart of Duhem. , " Avenged, avenged!" the Coiliite ̂ murmured, as she fell into the arms of her friends, and then from her lips poured a stream of crimson blcwl. Her dream and her life were oyer. «r MIHTQMY OI" THE: AXJSRTCA.H • niAtr. ...... j, 1629. Pilgrim Fathers to Indiah-^- Qive us «little foothold; here, dear 3JDL dian. • •,• : 1650. P. F.to I.--'More roos ̂please/, Go a little west, Indian. '•* • . 170A. P. F. to I.--Just a dolony or two'finrther west> Indian. ! i 17&0. P. F. to l.--Pleitte i/thf on your side of the Catskill; mountains, Indian* 1790. White Man to Indian--Indian, you're in the way. Go farther west. 1795.--Daniel Boone to Indian--'In­ jun, clar out of Kentucky. , . i iU 1800. American Eagle|v to. Indian-- "No pent-up Utica contracts our pow­ ers, The whole, unbounded continent is ours." Injufi, <$uit Ohio! s1820. A. E. toL--Injun, step on the other side of the Missisnppi. You're in the way of civilization and progress. 1840. A. E. to I.--Indian, get .Over the BoCklf lAonntaftu. You^Wa a nui­ sance. '*•> > 1 '•'? ' 1850. A. E. to L--Injun, we want all the land. t Why can't you quit being an Injun? . lie a whit9 man. .Sell us the land fairly. Tangle it. up with deeds quit-claims, mortgages, liens, and all sorts ofj thiugs, as we do. Jnjun, now do try a«d be civilized.t ̂ , 1860. A. E. to I.--Injim ̂ you'; the way everywhere. Do git eout. north. Go south. Go anywhere! to the Only go i 1870. A. B., on locomotive to Indî i - Scat! Git.i;v Clear the track! Scat­ ter !i This is no place for you anyway. in Go Qo jpn have made a demon'of me. iifeirfbl©, tremblfe at the fiend jfott have1 J<d9m raised' up." So saying, he her from ̂ him and rushed fr^m '*'U i IW«": e passed, oh, and. aa the wife of the Count de la Floret, the • i'ritii6 scexle that io shortly preceded her 'mar^pge was almost erased from her and nothing occurred to "iwr tlie'%ef«Bity of her every-day lifeunj . ihe outbreak of the Be volution--tl iMrful Batumalia of blood that sp: * ?|̂ rpc» and desolation over all Europe. In common with others, the yoi î iid his lovely wife were forced to »the fury of the exasperated pop- Assisted by a devoted friend, '-f *j&o,$hongh a warm republican, remaindcl «them, they 'qnp&fceded in efect- eacape froiSivP«*ss. and, aided had secured, reached, ttevSMge of Oolleure. a night in this place, they set out on their journey coast, when suddenly, at the 1 of the town, the him ih order that he might not lose one throe; and, to add to the horror, the wretch caused the" Agonized wife to be forcibly detained in full view of the fearful sight, until, utterly prostrated both in mind and body, she was borne insensible frc^tn the sce^je and placed in the care of her faithful waiting-woman, who did everything in her power to mitigate her cruel sufferings. , V, Nearly a week elapsed before the mis­ erable wife seemed to recall in any man­ ner the horrors die had witnessed; but at length, on awakening from a sound sleep, she related minutely all that occurred, saying that Se liad just dreamed it, and thanked Heaven devout­ ly that it was but a vision of her dis­ turbed fancy. She then asked if any letters had arrived from her husband, who, she said, had bwa dispatched on a foreign mission of great importance, ^(ine ̂ day she insisted upon visiting Paris, in order that she might discover how much longer the Count would be detained abroad; nothing that could he. urged by her friend* oould induce her •to forego this journey, a» Mhe set forth. It was a gitowms momi%.that on which <the CouataM ° de la Floret approached Paris; TOa sho^e bright and clear, d the verdure of early summer the trees /and meadowy. Bo­ re reaching the gates, however, Ihe sle was chopped by a long proces- of soMi6in,sidBowfed. I^yjeiowds of ITEDPEO0«B"; •!••• ,V. V soon became apparent that'a mili- execntion was to take place, and iat they were aontuated as to obtain view of it The soldiers were jhne, the drums beat, and pmea- cntn^^^kwith head bare and dressed* onlrfll̂ ^Hkions and shirt, was led i»y the fij l̂d. As he slarted, then t i ; R E M E D Y F O R i n t k m p e u a v c j s , t Mr. Napier^the English scientist, re­ cently tested th©, truth Of Liebig's theory that liquor-drinking is compat­ ible with annual food, but not with a farinaceous d$et. # ... The experiment was tried, upon twen­ ty-seven liquor-drinking persons, with results substantiating the Liebig theory. Among the more striking in­ stances of; reform brought about by a change of diet was that of a gentleman of 60, who had been addicted to intem­ perate habits for thirty-tfive years, his outbursts averaging once a week. His Constitution was so shattered that he had great difficulty in insuring his life. After an att&bk of delirium tremens, whioh nearly erided fatally, he was per­ suaded to enter upon a^farinaoeous diet, which, we were assured, cured hi™ com­ pletely in seven months. He seems to have been very thin at the beginning of the experiment, but at the close of the period named had gained twenty-eight pounds, being then about the normal weight for *person of his height. , . JL MASSACHUSETTS DIVORCE STOUT. The lawy ers frequently have applicants for divorce who give singular grounds for their petition, but the most singular one came last week, when a young woman Qf Westfield asked for a.divojrce from her newly-made husband because he h«fl yepy thick lips. The lawyer told her $he could hardly get a divorce on that ground, And suggested that usually the wife knew what kind of lips her husband had before marriage. The parties in question are well known in town, and'were married only a wesk or two ago. but separated the day after the ceremony. The husband is not over 22, and, though ti member Of the chtirch and never a liquor-drinker, got drunk soon after the separation, and, in disgust, has left town, where he M lived since a boy.--Springfield (Mass.) Republican. ^ ^ ELEVATED MA ILUnS IXH. The elevated railroads are very pop­ ular in New York. They travel about three times as fast as the horse cars, and, so far, none of the trains have jumped from fcafaw. "•* •% • , pttE DRAMA. : ;l Wetmd /Vmh • Chri*M*n Standpo<m4 ,. '! BT BBV. BBOOKE HBBEFOBD. I cannot help thinking that a good deal of talk about the decay of the drama is very much Of a piece with the general sighing fpr "the good old times." We hear of a few great masters of the older stage--we don't hear of the multitude who were as much below, our average as those few were above it. K is true the drama of our day has found no special form of its own, but then m that respect it is only in the predica­ ment of all art. The originality of this age does not rurt into art. We have no char&cteristie nineteenth-century archi­ tecture, and, if Wagrier has evolved "the music of the future," even he would be hard set to define the music ojf the present! But, however, as for the ques­ tion of artistic or intellectual decay, re­ ligion has no concern wî ;.̂ .̂f;.̂ phati must take care of itself. ; Looking at the theater in the light of Christianty, it is its moral character alone that we have to do with. And in this, I do not hesitate to claim that in­ stead of any decline, there has in the present day been a steady and marked improvement. It is worth remember­ ing, indeed, that the actual opposition, to theaters on religious grounds has never really had much to do with their moral character. I hear people say sometimes, "Oh, if the theater' were what it must have been in Shakspeare's day we should not oppose it." But it was precisely at that time, in the palmi­ est season of the English drama, when some of the world's grandest works were being produced--not for reading, but simply as acted plays--it was precisely /then that the stage began to be most vehemently .denounced, and actors to be held up as the especial children of Sa­ tan. The simple fact is, that in that Elizabethan drama it was by no means all Sha&speare; and ih the succeeding times the stage sometimes sank to the yery lowest level. It had some very low levels to-day, and 'it' is often those lowest and foulest developments of it that make most glare and show. But the general moral status of the stage as a profession was probably never high as it is to-day. There never pi bly were so many people connected theaters living respectable, dom lives; it Was never before so for actors and actresses to live lives. Among my warmest friend England I have counted some who actors, and curiously fenough the man who came to greet me as 1 down* from this pulpit, the first ever stood in it, was an actor in /the best American companies, 1 "-minded me of the days, thirty years when he had been a scholar in my S day-school class. I know it must life with great teniptations in it--in its unsettledness, its-late hours, its excite­ ment--yet of late years the leading lights of the stage have been as clean as any others--cleaner than many! Cer­ tainly, I should be inclined to back the stage for purity against polities! So that, on the whole, I cannot see any valid reason why the theater should not hold its place, I make no senti­ mental argument for it. I do not claim that it is a great moral teachpr,. though, at times, it has been. But it is one of the forms to which the mind of mrtn betakes itself for amusement, recreation and intellectual stimulus and change, and all that has to be done is to give it the same care which all institutions re­ quire to keep it as clear as possible from evil, and to purify and elevate its tone. And 1 have to say that the care thus •** ̂ " * M . V "ti X ! - . BT L. O. VIUOH. 1 1(1 out in New York and said: should give us this kind of thing in Chicago, and then we wbuld support you!" " Are you pure of that?" "Cer­ tainly we would," was the reply.*" Well,* ̂ said Mr. McVicker, "I did bring out this very play, spent a large sum to pu it on the stage as well as possible, an it was played to empty houses till it ha ̂ resulted in a heavy loss." No! ThertJ does want more thought, more conscî ' entiousness on the part of the public,, to support the best things--to steadily! support those whom they see tobe hon­ estly trying to raise the character of the theater, and to. do this here at home* and have done with all that sham nwH rality which will go to the theater in London or Paris, but cannot dp sq,Qh a thing here in Chicago! (* f! ->!/ •>' 8NOWBALJLIN&. •-/ 'ir- < , ... B¥ KATK % l>e¥b '̂ in M*r tb 6n- joy it Girls don't like it. It puffs up their hands, and makes them red, and the snow gets in their necks, and takes the stiffening out of their ruches, and sends cold shudders and little globules of wa­ ter down their bac$s.' ' There is no fun in it for them. ' '" t But when the first snow cOmeis, the boys commence snowballing. School­ boys ar ̂especially prone to indulge in it, and all through recess the fun wages fast and furious, and the white missiles fill the air, and hit everywhere except where they are aimed, It is a sort of inspiriting sight tp an old fogy to watoh a set of boys Snow­ balling. How vigorously they paw into the snow! How they roll and press it together* as if their lives depended en the celerity with which they got the ball round and hard 1 How their cheeks glow! How slyly they take aim at another boy, and hit him in the eye, and when he double# up and sets up a howl, and says he Will tell the teacher, " and then see what you'll git!" the guilty boy will put on such an injured look, and de- clare by all the saints in a schoolboy's calendar that lie never meant to hit But the maft with the tall hat rmis required in the present day, not in the t̂he greatest risk. The boy who can re- theater only, but in all kinds of amuse­ ment, is very great. For it can hardly be denied that in regard to pleasure and amusement there is a laxer tone through­ out society than there ought to be--a disposition to accept anything that is pleasant without muoh scrutiny--which is weakening the lines that divide good from evil, and in many ways lowering the moral stamina of society. And so, in the theater, while, as I have said, the moral character of actors has, on the whole, markedly improved, it is widely charged that there is great moral de­ basement in the plays that arte acted. How it is, comparatively, I cannot say; but it is notorious that there is much upon the stages of many modern thea­ ters--I fear on the stages of all except a sturdy few--which is utterly >ad, a mere stimulus to appetite and passion. So there not only needs the word I have said "for" the theater, 'but quite as urgently there needs a word "to" the theater. I may be told, indeed, that it is to the public any remonstrance should be addressed--that it is the publio who are responsible for what on his honor that they were trying td see who could throw farthest over the stone wall yonder, and that they neve* saw that Smith boy till they heard him holler. * "!Vt' Wise people tell us that a man who teaches learns himself while he teaq^es others, and we are sure there are some things the teacher learns right speedily. He learns to doubt the story of Wash­ ington's conduct after >cutting the cher­ ry tree, and he learns that the average schoolboy thinks no more of telling a lie than he does of tearing his trotAers. In snowball time a stray dog is a pow­ erful temptation to the boys. If he can get past a school-house without legging it for dear life, to get rid of the shower of snowballs leveled at him, he may congratulate his canine spirit, and be thankful that he wfs bom under a fort­ unate planet ! A sist the temptation to shy a snowball at a passing tall hat must have the " orig­ inal sin," that the preachers tell about, kept well in hand. He must be very nearly fit for translation. He ought to have a perfect record find a ohromo at the end of the sohool. The tall hat presents such a striking and prominent mark. There seems no possibility of missing it. Everybody feels sure he could hit it plump in thei middle. And. it is such fun to see how angry the wearer will be, and how he will flare round and look for the perpe­ trators of the evil deed! And, while he is getting the snow out of his eyes, all the boys will be lying flat behind the fence, and holding their stomachs lest the laugh infcide should break out and betray them. To anybody who is not a boy it seems incredible that there should be any Bolid comfort in kneading snow until your hands are numb with oold, your ears nearly frozen, your nose tingling, and your back, and your hair, and your eyes, and your collar full of snow thrown by other boys, and All the time the ter­ ror of the law, in the shape of an angry of ferule, theaters are. "Let the public support only good plays, good managers and J pedagogue with three feet good actors, and the theater will soon J hanging over you, but the boys tell ,be purified." .̂t present, I am told, the j there is, ahd their conduct justifies saints will not help the theater, and so j in belieying their assertion. its tone has to be set for the sinners. I know theroos some truth in this. There is no getting over such an anecdote as Mr. McVioker told the other day of how a Chicago/friend dhne to him when pome higlj/alaas play was being brought 'S: i'fet / Tbsjr Wl me that mid Aipin* mum , , Atld weirs, nvoila.Tictt* -vn* "rfonfc, Soma plants in regal splendor grow;*-- ( Tr^gmntpad rare tii hu^ . That in mid-ocean's lowest bowers. When undisturbed the waters Ue,* ̂ Are liner forms and fairer AcWets ̂ Than er«r gmet th#common eye; That in the deepest, dar&est mlAm ' Are fonnd the purest- richest Hit e'er on royal breast did shine, Qrsparklein adtadetn; ' That "finest scenes" nnpaintad are,1" C if . "grandest songs" were never ppni?, Becanse--those scenes are visions fare. Those HoijgR too ̂ rran l̂ for pen or tonm*. .Jhro^^fese:i leaanA^s siifiiJe "Ti# not the careless. heedlesR throng Who find earth's richest, joys forsooth, '•V ' Or live .her grandest scenes amonjf; ;" , 1 Btit* tath^t they wh'o se«4t vî il ^Earnest in action, word and thoul Ahd flart tbem alwayn iirtien artd'̂ ] The fickle crowd had never sought. : f T . - . :Hh. r * f r . W*) JFLMA&AWTJRmS. % STEAPI>ma Mow--The barj^* "WHEN a man hasn't a red he ge mule weeps, does it shed WHEN a muleteers? • i-t* ̂ F COLOB blindness IINNTIG ̂ women is extremely rare, only' abottl one in 1,000 developing" itk •A. CLOCK keeps its hands before its face, probably, because it is ashamed of the cowardly manner in which time flies. LUTE seems a howling wilderness to a man who stands in a bedfoom with a Niagara of water dripping from his faoe and hapds and no towel in (̂ ight.-- Hackensack Republican, THE man whose lame back prevejfif' him from splitting a stick of wood or kindling a fire is the one whp leads an attack on a pile of ten cords of wood to help uncover and kilV a frightened rabbit. , AN Irish gentleman having purchas«4 an alarm clock, an acquaintance asked him what he intended to do* with it " Och," answered he, "suite I've nothing to do but pull the firing and wake my- aell"f: ,v ..... i " WHAT'S that?" < hfe asked< his land­ lady, ais, she set his cup by his plate, " Coffee/' was the prompt and decisive reply. " Ah," innocently remarked the ' boarder, with an air, of interest ̂" and what is it made of?" ( , » HBNBY was sitting in the pa^f)r witii Laura, and, in attempting to turn the gas down dim, he extinguished it. " There 1" he exclaimed. " The gas has gone qu |̂" " Yes," murmured Laura, "and I wish somebody would follow its example." Then Henry went oat, too. THE AFGHAN QUESTION* '1 " oh! cant you stay here Hw* f.-» .'/it. Asfid be our Ameer?n • : ,9it' Said the people of Afghapiaton.-|^f» " No, I ean't stay here," K Said the bolttng Ameer, Ifc F : - km '3-HsBnt possibly Yakoob <***$" ?-J>Aaad4pAt0j»pUeU*. f,.|4 * MY dear," said a wife to > hus­ band, "when we get these old books home again that we lent .io your .uncle, what will be the best style in whiph to have them bound?" " Homeward bound is the most suitable thing for borrowed books, my love" ^as Ids A WOMAN detected at a funeral ,in\£«<- moving the orape appendage to a mourner's bonnet, when brought into the Police Court, attempted to justify her offense upon the ground th# she was only " taking the vejl." " of that!" roajred the' unappreciatiye na^gis- trate. , ,.. • "YES," observed a friend, " SHE cer­ tainly is very highly cultivated. Slid is very stylish, plays well, talks w\ dances well, and rides well, andsuccec admirably in private theatrical fact," he added, "she's,just the.̂ ind a girl you'd like one of; your friends to] marry.' A LITTLIS girl, when her father's table was honored with an esteemed friend, began talking very earnestly at the first pause in the conversation. Her father cheoked her rather sharply, saying, "Why is it that yon tajk so much?" " Tause Fve dot sometin' to say," waft the innocent reply. , ̂ ̂ ̂ A NEW preacher used the tics" in his sermon, and, at the con­ clusion of the servioe, a/armer who wfli present thanked him for his discourse; but intimated that he had made a mis­ take in one word. " What yott call hop- ticks," he said, " in this part of the coun­ ty we oall hop-poles." , , c A RELATIVE of Abernethy's, net markable for his Hindoo ablfitioils, 1 applied to him for a remedy for a 1 throat. " Why," said the doctor, ly, " fill a pail with Water as Warm] can bear it till it reaches LCCS; then take a pint Of o scrub your legs with it for »J an hour." " Why, hang it," rupted the*other," thisisfij - ii'* ^ washing WILD animals are disap Algiers. The Freneh authoi $10 for every lion or panth killed, and