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HAUNTS OF GElftUM* n *• a. wrooi. W'm Boy, whence your footprints tend • Wtofr thatk5 j>sia yon stray! bowlders rise to the skioa; OiTpnu deep with gloomy isles Unwd the precincts of these wll<4k Check your speed. Time's agreed*- - ItRDi ruah IB wild ravinea;, : Spectral form* and ghostly aceiw^^i^t Fill tlie mind; human kind flhndders at the deep abysa;*. 1 Gaping gulf* strewn hit or mtas; : / _ „ Courage aave ;̂ boy, be brave. ̂•, Atogli rough the path I ahall *«!$>•; • Courage to my wants attend, Lends a love; from abovi, •' Where the rising suns reveit 1 Genius on a battle-field, , .. Foes he's slain there reniata. Annies bold in striving mart, Wielding arms of human aft* ' • * All aglow, crimson flow. Gently falls the stately pecgti One by one they hail tfce bill; delayjnot a day. Bushing waters stay not thee, Nor the steep declivity, Where the snows constant blow, Up an alpine frigid zone; And the heaving ice mounds groan, Frost smoke rise, dark*ning skies. Where thundering tempests rage, • Marring breath, at naught assuage. Shaking forms, baring arms, Up the glaciers threadless loom, Bowing at the frozen tomb; Thus they all constant fall. / Ah I the fountains of the heart, Where the rushing waters start, CHearning bright in the lights Babble on their wonted coarse Till the yean of coming foroa rfcin the flow, ice mounds grow. Lofty columns on me gaze; Far above Aurora plays, But I'll span nature's plan Till the flood of coming years Bend the ice-mounds into tears; At the tomb myrtles bloom. Ah, my boy 1 I see in thee naming sparks of destiny On the scroll. Time will roll When the journey yon will force. Holding rein to golden horse, And your speed Time's agreed. Balance well your upward flight; Journey where the blaze of right Bound you prove as you move To yon lofty, burnished spire, Wham the slaves of genius flre1 Up the sated human kind. QoMen compass I will hold._ Tin throne of genius I behold, ^ Breaking news to the muse, Aa flie clarion voice replies When the angels shake the aides. Losd and clear I'll appear. i aty siren trumpet flam*, r kalis ia temple fame. ' the song, loud and long; i move and disappear • the lisfning planets hear ft the rftiiwe humankind, Lsovs, Ofcio. mn iff mm baby. : , ' -1 Bhst&ffor'a Experience WitM It. w A very pretty little baby--thai ffcfsv * bkby. 1 bad so fault to find wML it* m far aa its individual identity WMeoaMtnetL If babies must exist-- •ftd I suppose tyre is a necessity lor tibe thing, or else where would all the grown people oome from?--tin's baby was as well as any other baby. ^ '" I mention these facts merely to prove Bat I am in no way prejudiced. As far as mortal man can be, I am aa en­ tirely impartial witnesss • i It was fast asleep in its cradle--a lit- white-headed doll, with long, dark •yelashes, and a crimson dot of a month, •gainst which lay its tiny fist, with five Well-defined dimples in the five joints thereof It was fast asleep, I say, when Bertha came airily into the room. "I am going over to the depot to see pother off, Joseph; I'll be back in half an hour. Just keep an eye to baby While I'm gone, wiUyou?* I looked blankly at my sister. But while I was considering how best to ex- ">-e88 my total dissent from her auda­ cious proposition she trippediout of the loom, heir ribbons fluttering in the soft Spring air. Silence doesn't always give consent, twit Bertha had taken it for granted, in matter, and I was left an unwilling ' tjfuardian of my little nephew. However, he was fast asleep; that Was, Ime circumstance in my favor. Mortal baby couldn't present a more innocent and cherubic aspect than he did. So °I calmly went on with my writing, soon becoming oblivious to his infantile .presence. "Talk about tending babies," quoth I to myself, dipping my goose-quill tri­ umphantly into the ink, " why, it's the easiest business in life. I should never tpend my money hiring nurses. If that little one was mine--but women never do know how to economize prop­ erly." ' Aa these fancies passed through my jnind, the baby woke up and sneezed. » * I gave the cradle an oscillatory kick, and then burst forth into the well- known burden of " Bye a baby bunting," but the little villain absolutely declined |o shut his eyes again, like a sensible baby. He opened them wider than two miniature moons, staring at me with an air of malevolence that has made me a firm believer in human depravity ever since, and deliberately began to cry. And the harder |[ rocked the cradle and the louder I sang the more resolutely did that baby cry. " He's hungry," thought I to myself. "Babies must be fed, and it's highly reprehensible of Bertha to stay away so t>ng." So I went down into the pantry and La search for some milk; which I had a vague idea was the diet general­ ly preferred by toothless infancy. But milk there was none. Lamp oil, Stew­ art'} sirup, vinegar, kerosene, brandy; everything but milk was thefce; every knjwn or conceivable fluid, in aggravat­ ing profusion--but not a drop of milk. All t.hia time meanwhile the roar of if y infuriated nephew, but slightly soft­ ened by distance, followed ae about like Nemesis. I I rushed frantically up stairs, armed With a lump of sugar, the first soothing fxpedient that suggested itself to me. "Bless its dear little heart, there, there; confound your racket, can't you keep still i Take its sugar from its own, $wn uncle; that's a little golden boy." But the golden boy resolutely reject­ ed the sugar, screaming louder than ever, as if its lungs were forty-baby power, and warranted never to tire out. It kioked, it struggled, it pawed the air it grew purple in the face. Ashes of King Herod and all the Egyptians! what was a man to do? In vain I executed a war dance around its cradle; in vain I rang the dinner- bell, and waved the feather-duster, and swung my gold repeater, and bawled nursery ballads at the top of my lungs. Talk about perseverance. Robert Brace's spider was nothing to that atrocious little lump of mortality. "There's nothing for it but to ca­ pitulate," said l to myself, as I jammed my hat on my head, viciously thrust my arms into my overcoat, and seized the baby out of its cradle. Leave it absolutely alone I dared not, and the nearest grocery where milk was procurable lay full three blocks off! Thus, in a sort of stony despair I is­ sued forth from the house, carrying my persecutor like a bundle under one arm. I thought he wOtrfdstop crying when he got into the open air, but not he; oxygen only seemed to increase the shrill power of his villainous little pipes! People turned to stare at me, as if I were an escaped lunatic, or an ab­ ductor of infant innocence. Women looked indignantly at the baby; blue worsted socks and little pink legs kick­ ing blindly from beneath my arms. Children ran after me, dogs barked, but I kept doggedly cm my way, walking into the grocery, with a resolution sec­ ond only to that of the Roman fellow who jumped into a crater, nobody knows how many hundred years ago! 'A pint of milk, if you please." 'Milk, sir? Have you brought any­ thing to put it in? " I thought of my tobacco-box, my fmcket handkerchief, the corner of my hat, all of these impracticable places for the deposit of the lacteal fluid. "I never thought of that!" I said, righting the baby, who came head uppermost with a very crimson counte­ nance, and eyes looking defiantly into mine; eyes that said, as if they had spoken in so many syllables, " I won't stop crying; I'll die first 1" The storekeeper looked on sympa­ thetically. " I could sell you. a nioe little pitoher, sir, if " " The very idea," I interrupted. " A pitcher of milk! and please take the change out of this porte-monnaie, for if I had three pair of hands I couldn't more than hold this kioking little demon with 'em!" " Well, sir," said tbe storekeeper, M he ,does seem a rare 'un for usin' his legs, let alone his lungs. Yes, sir, thank'ee sir!" Now, I have always since laid it up as a grudge against human nature that that unprincipled grocery-man took a $5 bill out of my porte-monnaie, knowing that I should not discover it until too late to rectify the error! (I wouldn't have treated a Turk so!) I took up ihe pitcher Of milk with my right hand, still balancing the baby skillfully against my left arm and side, and started triumphant!^ for home. " Now, 111 settle your business, my fine friend! " I thought. " Is it possi­ ble that I was ever such an incorrigible nuisance as this ?" - But my triumph was speedily reduced to the lowest pitch of humiliation! "Dear me, Mr. Bevf rley, is it possi­ ble that this is you?" It was Kate Milton's self, radiant in spring bonnet, lilac silk walking-dress, close-fringed parasol, and the daintiest of lilac kid gloves! Kate Milton, with an air of astonishment that served to make her one degree prettier than ever. My first instinct was to turn and flee ignominiously; my second was to drop my nephew and his milk into the gutter and resolutely deny all connection Xhfttever'wj^h them; my third prompted ie reeoimd^to stand my ground. "Yes, Milton--a--a fine day!" ~ fT* & * ' fVe*yfin«i* /• ; s Kate eyed |pe Vdubiottsly, and no wonder. One «ocl£ curling *nd twist­ ing as if a serpent wM* inside of it in­ stead of a baby's foot,' appeared be­ neath my coat-skirts, flanked by about a quarter of a yard of Swiss enibroidery aad tucks, wofully crumpled, by the fiery ordeal through which we had both passed--the mUk (oonioqad it!)', hfd dropped a-down the full length of my pearl-colored pantaloons, and my.hat, bent and bruised, was thrust rakishly on the side of my head. I was glove- less, flushed and disheveled, and, take me for "all in all," must have appeared considerably like a pickpooket or an old-clothes man out for a walk. I passed on, followed by the sound of faint, subdued laughtar- a souud that stung me to the quick. . So Kate and her companion were laughing at me; this was, indeed, the unkindest out of all. I resolved never to dance the German with Kate Milton again. The house was quiet and deserted as I returned and inserted my night-key in the little circular look What could have become of Bertha ? The sold dew oozed out upon my brow as I, for one instant, contemplated the horrible pos­ sibility of my being left, a sort of mod­ ern Robinson Crusde, with that diaboli­ cal little man Friday on my hands. Nonsense! there was no probability of that. I sat down on Bertha's low *'• 'A • ' rocking-chair, and, planting the baby firmly on my knee, applied the spout of the pitoher to his mouth. , Would you believe it? he wouldn't drink a drop. He screwed his mouth as tightly shut as if he never intended to open it again, and doubled himself over backwards with a strength of will that would have been remarkable in aftyll- grown man, but was simply marvelous in a ten-months-old baby. I persevered, and he persevered. I poured the milk down his neck, his embroidered dress- waist, and his coial amulets; he would have been drowned sooner than to open his mouth half a quarter of an inch. Probably of such stuff were our Revo­ lutionary fathers made; and this baby had, through some inscrutable blunder of Dame Nature, come into the world just a century too late! I put him back in the cradle, flat on his spinal column, and looked at him more in sorrow than in anger. "Myyoungster!" I addressed Kim, cry away, cry your lungs out--break a blood vessel or two if agreeable to you-- fracture your trachea! I can't be held legally responsible for it, thank Provi­ dence!" I took up a book tod sat doWn by the cradle, rocking it recklessly backwards and forwards, regardless of the screams which still rent the air. I wasn't going to waste any more time in trying to quiet him. Let him crvt This is a free country! "Why Joe! whatever is the matter?" It was Bertha's voice. I jumped up as if a cannon ball had smitten me, and dashed my book upon the floor. t "Matter, ma'am! matter? The matter is that I'm going mad! I be a fit subject for a'lunailc'asyfiim ih just about fifteen minutes more!" But I might as well have waBted my despairing eloquence on a blank wall! She didn't hear nor need me! She was loading that little wretch with caresses, pity and blandishment. And -I shouldn't have credited the sudden turn of affairs, if I hadn't witnessed it with my own eyes--the baby absolutely laughed up in her face, as if to say: "I've given my uncle a pretty time of it!" Yes--laughed and crowed, and held up his hands, and behaved exactly as if he had never in his small life knoWn what it was to shed a tear! The hypo­ crites are not all grown up. "Has he been good, Uncle Joe? " I looked volumes at my sister. "Bertha, if ever you leave me again, in charge of that--that little atrocity, 111 commit suicide!" "You needn't speak so loud," said my sister, in an injured voice. "I intended to have been home before, but the train was delayed, and--bless its little heart, did it want to oome to its mamma's arms--and Uncle Joseph crosser than an old bear, and wasn't it the sweetest little rose-bud that ever " I waited to hear no more, but rushed precipitately out of the room, convinced that of all fools, a young mother was the most hopeless specimen! That's the last time I have had the heir of the family confided to my guardianship. I think Bertha's a little afraid to leave me alone in the room with him. "So mote it bet" Some one sent me a comic valentine this 14th of February--a picture of a hooked-nose old bachelor (my nose i§ a fine Romanesque curved)--in a blue coat and red trousers, dandling the baby upside down; I solemnly believe it was Kate Milton! I detest comic valentines. I abho* babies--and I believe in a life of old bachelorhood. That's my. platform! Do you wonder at it? A TELEPHONE. There is a pocket telephone stretched across from the house of a young in this town to the window of his sweet* heart just opposite. They are to be married soon, and it is a touching sight to watch the little sparrows perch on the string and peck at the taffy as it slides along.--Waterloo Observer. THE members of the Chinese lega­ tion in Washington are strictly temper­ ate, none of them using ardent spirit* U9JOMS OF LOCOMQTIQX* ̂ . BY MAUDE IdKB.i,,:, In all the ages man has shown him­ self a migratory animal. Sometimes he has moved fiom place to place for means of sustenance; again for pur­ poses of warfare, and in later times for business and pleasure combined. In primitive days walking was the princi­ pal method of passing from point.to point; there was more muscular devel­ opment then, and (he feet in their loose sandals had perfect freedom. The use of horses as a means of transportation was probably the first attempt to alle­ viate the tedium of foot traveL These animals are first mentioned in Job, the oldest book in the sacred writings. Dur­ ing the reign of Solomon there were procured from Egypt a number of horses of a very fine breed, which were added to the King's armies to contrib­ ute to the pomp and display. These animals were originally found in a wild state in the southern part of Siberia and Northwestern China. Large herds were found on the fertile plains of Brazil. In these countries they are caught by lassoing and trained for rid­ ing. The Arabs, treating their horses with as much care as if they were of more consequence than human beings, have become possessed of some of the fleetest as well as most beautiful of these sagacious animals. In the tfent at the desert's edge they are housed with their owner's family; are groomed until their glossy coats shine like satin, and be­ come so attached to their master's peo­ ple that the children may clamber about and caress them at their pleasure. In the days of the Roman conquerors white horses were always attached to the triumphal cars. These cars are among the first vehicles mentioned in history. Although gorgeous with gild­ ing and brilliant coloring, they were quite rude in structure. When wheeled vehicles first came into use, they were but ordinary jolting carts, mounted upon two wheels, which were afterward increased to four. They were further improved by being swung upon loose supports, to avoid the jolting occasioned by uneven places in the roads; then springs were introduced, much to the comfort of the riders. Steam being discovered as a propel ling power, railways Were built, and, from the common box, in which travel­ ers were pounded over the rough roads, to the magnificent coaches that carry at such great speed, the improvement has been steady and rapid. 9 Savage nations, living beside streams or lakes, early brought into use the canoe--in its primitive days made by burning the body of a tree until it be­ came hollow, and guided over the water by a paddle. Then followed the flat-bottomed freight-boat, when civili­ zation required a means whereby to transport the various productions to different sections of the country for purposes of traffic. To the flat-bot- tonted boats were attached sails, by means of which, and with the help of ropes dragged by men, the boats were made to slowly work against the cur­ rent. Small sailing vessels coasted along countries adjacent to each other. Columbus set sail in a craft that, in these days, would scarcely answer for a pleasure-boat in which the occupants did not design losing sight of land. Fulton's discovery caused such sailers to give place to steam ves­ sels. It is liaid to realize that our floating palaces, moved so rapidly and almost noiselessly over the broad bosoms of our majestic rivers, are the outgrowth of the snorting, plunging lit­ tle monster that woke the echoes Of the Hudson when they first answered to the hubbub made by steam. When the hideous groaning of the machinery and the screech of the escaping steam were heard, and the great jarring oi the timbers felt, scarcely any one Would have believed such improvements pos­ sible. Ocean steamers now move over the water, propelled by the screw, and glide so swiftly and noiselessly that we marvel at them; they seem like great gulls resting their broad bosoms upon the billowy deep--no traces of ma­ chinery visible, and all quiet except the line of foam that follows in the rear. Air, as a propelling power, has been used, as in the balloon and pneumatic funnel, but steam must, for all prac­ tical purposes, ever be the agent where by our conveyances by land or sea are driven. MATTOON, M. EARLY RISING SOMETIMES A DE­ LUSION. For farmers and those who live in lo­ calities where people can retire at 8 or 9 o'clock in the evening, the old custom of early rising is still appropriate. But he who is kept up till 10 or 11 o'clock, and then rises at 5 or 6, because of the teachings of some old ditty about " early to rise," is committing a sin against his soul. There is not one man in 10,000 who can atford to do without seven or eight hours' sleep. All the stuff that has been written about great men who slept only three or four hours a night is apockryphal. They have been put upon such small allowances occasionally and prospered, but nd man ever yet kept healthy in body and mind lor a number of years with less than seven hours' sleep. If ou oan'ty get to bed till late, then rise late. It may be as proper for one man to rise at 8 as it is for another to rise at 5. Let the rousing bell be rung at least thirty minutes before your public appearance. Physicians say that a Budden jump out of bed gives irregular motion to the pulse. It takes hours to get over a too- sudden rise. It is barbarous to expect children to land in the center of the poor at the call of their nurses, the thermometer below zero. Give us time af you call us to roll over, gaze at the world full in the face, and look before we leap. " w --. MORTALITY AMONG THE TRADES AND PROFESSIONS. From the last annual report of the Registrar General of Great Britain we learn that the mortality among butchers is greater than the aver­ age rate. Inn-keepers and saloon-keep­ ers suffer more frem fatal diseases than any other class. The clergy generally, all denominations, have an average good health. Doctors up to the age of 45 experience a mortality much above the average. Chemists and druggists also are less healthy than the average; so, also, are commercial clerks, dry-goods men and merchants. Those engaged in the service of railways likewise experi­ ence a high rate of mortality. Coach- makers are a fairly healthy class. Wheelwrights, carpenters, joiners, saw­ yers, and those who work in wood, have lives healthier than the average of men. The health of carvers and of gilders is, on the average, now better than it used to be. The wool, silk, and cotton-man- ufacturing population no more experi­ ence a high mortality, as was once the case. Tailors are less healthy than the average, and the health of those em ployed in the earthenware manufacture especially appear to suffer from the oc­ cupation. Mining is an unhealthy oc cupation. Miners' lives, in the aggre­ gate, wear out more rapidly than metal workers, and both classes are far less healthy than the agricultural laborers. Out-door occupations, in which there is not excessive exposure to the vicissi­ tudes of the Weather, are, beyond doubt, the healthiest which a man can under­ take. Farmers and agricultural laborers are at the present time amoikg the healthiest classes of the community. SILVER-MINE ROMANCES. About 10 o'clock yesterday morning a crowbar was dropped down the main vertical shaft of the Savage from the surface, and went directly through a cage at the bottom, piercing the bonnet and floor. No one was en the cage at the time, and no one was hurt, yet it is unpleasant to one making a trip into a mine to reflect that such things some­ times occur. As the bar fell something over 500 yards, it was traveling with the rapidity and vim of a cannon-ball when it struck the cage. A bit of gravel no larger than a filbert sings like a bullet toward the latter part of such a journey. A dog once fell into a shaft at Gold Hill, and, though the shaft was but 300 feet in depth, two men upon whom the animal landed were killed, as was also the clumsy cur that attempted to hop across the top of the shaft. A rat once fell down the Consolidated Virginia shaft in attempt­ ing to spring across a compartment, from wall plate to wall plate, and 1,100 feet below landed on the bald head of a miner and exploded like a bomb, caus­ ing the miner to think a rock had cut open his skull and let out his brains. A grain of bird-shot dropped into the top of a shaft 1,500 feet in depth would probably bury itself into a plank or any piece of wood it might happen to strike at the bottom. This being the case, we repeat that it is not pleasant to think of such things as crowbars going down the shaft.--Virginia City Enterprise. KID GLOVES. In making a pair of kid gloves three persons are employed--the cutter, the sewer, and the thumb maker. The sew­ ing, with the exception of the button­ holes, is done with machines. The work of the cutter looks simple, but it re­ quires a skillful eye and hand, as any one may imagine when he thinks of the perfection of fit which gloves are made to attain. A table, a pair of scissors, knife and pot of powder are all the im­ plements needed by the cutter. An ordinary skin will make two pairs, and a very fine one three pairs of gloves. After the skin has been dried it is care­ fully stretched and manipulated to as­ certain if it has any flaws in it. It is then cut in strips twice the width of the glove, enough then generally remaining to cut in smaller strips for the thumbs. After the fingers have been suitably shaped by the scissors, the gloves are passed into the hands of the sewers, and from them to the thumb makers, from whom they quickly come in a fin­ ished state. • MB. JACOB BEDOLL, a man of 65, at Baldwins, L. I., is said to have passed over eight weeks without sleeping a moment, or feeling inclined to do so. The soporifics he has taken have had no effect on him. He enjoys good health. ••T;,',' TO A BABY* v;-*-* f*'*'"-'*"*Well, dear little mo Bet down on life's portiA, r & With never a question of choice of will. Small pilgrim set out i On a journey of doubt, With your shrine at the top at a Look about with those eyes P u l l o f grave , swee t surpr i se , ^^ .. And say what you think of the world, Writ yovia*- i» H. Is it best worth your while r'r To meet life with a smile? Or a frown, that you ever were foroed to 1 " +V;.; gOf a curious game! :,i; r we smile, child, or whether We must each play in turn, , _ v . Though we scarcely may learn * Hie rulea of the game till the «M4S ' * •,down; • a queer hurry-skurry, :"•••••' ~t Full of bother and worry, For each player cornea in with some Mek ol hit But the secret of winning „ Lies all in beginning, So fee sure jei are right, child, then^m^y ' ' alone." t;';/;. :>•* , FLEASJLKTBJES. HEAP lines--Wrinkles. WILL the Pacific slope ? , THE best way to make toa--SPlv • A LIGHT o* love--HymenV torch. A DEALKB in shoos--The woman who keeps hens. v • , A WATEB-OOUBSK--A series of tem­ perance lectures. „ A POOB delivery --Leaving a package at the wrong house. THE game the1 British played was, heads I win, tails Zulus. " THAT'S snooze to me," as the man observed when told that he slept too "loud." IT is a libel on a man about to be hanged to say that he "can't take a choke." ' . WHY is an undiscovered crime like an unsigned lease? Because it is a " deed without a name." WHAT plums can never be made into a pudding? The plumb of th$ seamen and the carpenter. WHAT flower is that which it is im* possibleto put in your button hole? The pink of courtesy. WHY are philosophers so fond of playing with words? Because " words are wise men's counters." RAZORS are always strapped; so is A young man who is rash enough to "put in " an hour or two at a church fair. THERE was a child picked up from a door-step, and, though three months had passed since its birth, it was only a wee cold baby. AN orator, declaring that Fortune knocked at every man's door once, an old Irishman said, " When she knocked at mine I must have been out." TBSJUC was a young fellow of Lelceftpp, Who a beautiful damsel did peioeetar, But whene'er he addreiceater 1 She called him a jeicester; " - So he fled to the wild of Weicestehelcestor. --Columbia Spectator. A POOB Irishman, seeing a crowd of people approaching, asked what was the matter. He was answered: "A man going to be buried." "Oh," he re­ marked, "I'll stop to see that, for we carry them to be buried in our coun­ try." THERE has been a remarkable case of constancy in England. A man who separated from his wife thirty-five years ago has just returned and offered to "kiss and mak^ up." A few days prior to the offer the wife had inherited a large estate. , AT a recent marriage the bridegroom, when asked the important question if he would take the lady for better or worse, replied, in a hesitating manner, "Well, I think I will." 'Upon being told that he must be more positive, he an­ swered, "Well, I don't care if I do." AN Alabama darkey, for a wager, re­ cently exposed his head to the furious assaults of a trained goat. His confi­ dence was rewarded by his winning the money, for, after half an hour's vigorous butting, the goat drew off utterly dis­ couraged. "EDWARD," said the mother of a little 6-year-old, "why did you remain on the sidewalk after that bad boy had chal­ lenged you to fight?" "Because, mamma," replied the embryo paragra- pher, " I was Ed-defied, you know, and wanted to see the fun." A BRIGHT little 4-year-okl olive branch was set to beating a carpet. The quantity of dust raised was great, and, as it floated away heavenward, an idea seized his active brain, and he rushed into the house, exclaiming, " Mamnn, I have sent dust enough up to God to make a little sister, and won't you ^ ' him to?" i NEVER SPEAK IN A HURRY. The hospitable Jones: "Yes, we're in the same old place where you dined with us last year. By the by, old man, I wish you and your wife would come aud take pot-luck with us again on the"-- The impulsive Brown (in the eager­ ness of his determination never again to take pot-luck with Jones): "My dear fellow! So sorry! But we're engaged on the a on the--er--on th-th-thai evening!" Poor Jones (pathetically): "Well, old man, you might have given me timA to name the day."--JP)ymch. 9