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$Uc|*cMtr ^laintlcalct J. VAN SLYKE. Editor ud Publisher. McHENRY, ELLINOfS. HUHOBS OF THE Dlt, THB fatted calf was killed that a for- rgiving father might re-veal hi* feelings -toward a prodigal son. HE put in his thumb and palled oat a plum, and what a mean thief was he!-- JSlmira Advertiaer. A GOOD thing to keep in the house--a big dog. Will our next-door neighbor, who owns one, take the hint?--Boston Post. "DELIGHTFUL wine, this, isn't it? Is there anything in the world better than -a glass of good wine?" "Yes, there is --a bottle." REJECTED lovers need never despair. 'There are four and twenty hours in a -day, and not a moment in the twenty- four in which a woman may not change her mind. WHEN the masculine individual gets into trouble there is usually a woman at the bottom of it. This is what the small boy thought when his mothes spanked him. A NEW paper has been started in Paris ^called the Idiot. It is expected to break up the habit local reporters have of using the word "we,"--New Orleans Picayune. A YOUNG man at Illion, N. Y., killed kimself on account of his impaired di­ gestion. He wanted to show the public that he could di-jest as well as anybody. ---St. Louis Pott-Dispatch. As idiotic New Yorker wagered that he could put a bullet through the hat of a sleeping bar-keeper. He did so, and the head was inside of the hat, and the bullet inside the head. THE Toronto Mail tells of an Irish­ man visiting Niagara Falls who failed to see anything wonderful there. There was nothing, he thought, to hinder the water from tumbling over the precipice. A PHILADELPHIA miser wanting a dog to guard his property, selected a bob- tailed one, his theory being that the ex­ ertion of wagging a long tail would in­ crease the dog's appetite.--Philadelphia ' News. A SOUTH END man shook a handker­ chief full of peanut shucks out of a win* dow, and a gal across the way took it for -a handkerchief flirtation proposal, and has sued him for a breach of promise. Man is nowhere safe.--Boston Post. A SLY Philadelphia pill having a lover • she was afraid wouldn't stick, covered her lips with glue and invited him to kiss her. Owing to the fact that she had previously posted her father when to pounce into the parlor, the plan worked admirably. AFTER a clergyman has taken a free bottle of tonie, felt better, and written out his certificate to the curative quali­ ties of the medicine for publication, it makes him unhappy to have a doctor •oome along and pronounce the stuff gin bitters, and bad at that.--New Orleans Picayune. "NEVER whine about the law being wrong," says the Pittsburg Telegraph, "but use your l>est endeavors to have it .made right." This advice, we dare say, is to the gentlemen in State Prison.--El- mira Free Press. No, to Congressmen; but you guess pretty close.--Pittsburg Telegraph. "WERE any minutes taken at your meetings?" inquired Mr. Hickman Moles- worth, barrister, Belfast (Vic.), of a -member of a school committee against whom the teacher had brought an action for illegal dismissal. "Minutes?" ex­ claimed the witness. "It wasn't min­ utes we tuk; we war hours at it." "OH, DEAR!" exclaimed a young lady, •entering a public hall, "what a dreadful odor of carburated hydrogen!" "Mum said the janitor, with a puzzled coun­ tenance. "The smell of the carburetted hvdrogen," she exclaimed. "That's no kind of gin, mum," replied the janitor; "that's garse; the pipes is leaky, mum." AN architect who built a new city hall for a Western town made a botch of it <uid fled to Canada, as lie left word with his friends, "to remain until the affair should blow over." Next day a high wind stnick the town, and his friends telegraphed him: "Come back. The whole shebang was blown over last night." WB had to avoid meeting our enemy yesterday. We had a friend with us who would grab our coat-tails and hold us back as we started to annihilate the -wretch, but there was nobody there to restrain him, and it would have been- very embarrassing for him. So, out of consideration for his feelings, we avoided him--Boston Post. The Lime Kiln Clab. A communication from the Cooper Institute, New York, contained this <juery for Brother Gardner to answer: "In case a bank made a mistake and gave a customer SI,000 in place of $100 what would l>e the duty of that customer?" " Dar' kin be but one answer to all f.ich queshuns," replied the President. 1' In dis speshul case I should count de money over about fo' times, to be sure I fiad too much. Den I'd go home an' wait fur de bank officers to come an' see me. If dey didn't come arter a week or so I'd drap aroun' to de bank and kinder j menshun de matter an' git de load off my conscience Honesty am do true policy. Yon may gain a few dollars by tradiu' off a blind mule in de night, but in less'n fo' weeks yer dog will die, or de cook stove will gin out, or sutliin' or odder will occur to swoller all de profit dishon­ estly made." A. Jericho Smith, Chairman of iJnfiEom- mittec on Popular Science and Natural Philosophy, announced that his monthly report was ready. His committee had been asked to investigate the origin of the polar waves which sweep across the country during the winter at stated in­ tervals. They had consulted all conven­ ient authorities, and would report as follows: " We am satisfied dat de cold begins somewliar', but de exact pint no man kin find out. De spot on which it starts grows colder an' colder, an' bime-by, when it gits so all-fired cold dat whisky would freeze in ten ticks ok de clock,^ streaks of weather scoot off dis way an' dat, an' keep growin' an' goin' till dey rea«h Chicago, Detroit, Buffalo an' all odder big places. Dis am de theory of dis committee. De minority, composed of Bmdder Hemlock Jones, wishes me to report dat it am his candid opiuyun dat polar waves am de result of wind blowin' ober stone sidewalks an' arouu' de co'ners of brick buildin's. "--Detroit Free Press. The Strongest Man Living. Joseph Pospischill, who is now apr'rf- oner in the Austrian fortress at Olen on conviction of highway robbery, is said to be the stn ngest man living. One of the feats for whi h he was renowned was to support in the air, with his hands and teeth, a table upon which two gypsies danoed, while a third fid­ dled. He and one of his brothers, only less powerful than himself, were wont t:> bear upon their shoulders a woodeu plat­ form shaped like a bridge, while a cart full of stones drawn by two horses was driven over it. One day, when the jail in which he was confined was undergo­ ing a visit from the municipal prison in­ spectors, this Hercules volunteered to give the authorities a specimen of his powers, and, upon receiving permission to do so, picked up with his teeth a heavy mahogany table, nine feet long, and balanced it aloft lor nearly a half minute. Cold-Weather Yarns. "Inever knew until the next spring how low the mercury did get that year, said Sheriff Ridgway. " We had a ther­ mometer big enough to keep account of the weather for the whole State. It was three feet long, and had a bulb at the bottom as big sum a turnip. We didn't bother with degrees on that ther­ mometer. We always said it was so many inches below or so many inches above zero. The thermometer hung on an apple tree in the garden at our old place on the Lackawack. In the spring of '59 I was spading up the garden. Un­ der this apple tree I struck a vein of quicksilver. I thought I had discovered a mine of the stuff, and says to myself, 'This ends the lumber business.' I calls the old gentleman out and told him I'd struck a quicksilver mine, and that when the company was formed to work it I would take nothing less than treasurer of it. He dkln't say anything, but he looked at the quicksilver I had in my hand, then at me, and then at the thermometer that hung on the tree. I looked at that, too. The bulb was bursted. Then I understood the situa­ tion. The mercury had settled a foot and a half below zero on the thermome­ ter. That wasn't as low as the weather called for, so it pushed the bottom out of the bulb, went down three feet to the ground, and dropped six inches under the surface before it reached the level of the temperature. Don't go up along the Lackawack and talk about the ther­ mometer being 20 deg. below zero, for there are pe«ple up there yet who re­ member our big thermometer and the winter the mercury went five feet below zero, and they'll laugh at you." "I've always said that these little thermometers we have nowadays ain't no account," said Billy Watson. " What chance has weather on a thermometer six or eight inches long, anyhow ?" "It don't have no chance at all," said Peacock Brink. "Down t'my house, where there air no th'mometer to bother with the weather, I bets it's fifteen de­ gree oolder'n 'tis up here." " Do you remember the winter that Red Drake was chafed by a deer in the valley woods, and had a narrow escape from death, all owing to the jveather," asked Pete Quick. "Cold as it was, Red was hunting. He shot at the deer, and the deer got mad and took after him. Red dropped his gun, and made for a tree. It was so cold that the breath from the deer's nostrils froze as it shot out in streams of fog, and before the deer reached Red two pieces of ice, fifteen inches long and two inches and a quar­ ter thick, stuck from the animal's snout like the tines of a pitchfork. Just as Red reached the foot of the tree the deer caught him. One of the pieces of ice went on one side of Drake, and one on the other. The tree was just big enough to fit in between the ends of the two prongs of ice and hold the deer fast. There they were. Red couldn't move, nor the deer couldn't move. The deer's breath kept on freezing, and Red looked back over his shoulder and saw ice forming all around him. He expected to be frozen to death. By-and-by when the circle of ioe had grown so tight around him that it was hard for him to breathe, he saw that the deer's nose was being rapidly closed by the forming ice. Here was his only hope. If he could hold out until the breathing of the deer was shut off he might escape, for then the deer would die, and in falling break the icy bonds. When the ice had closed around Red so tight that he could only get a breath about a sixteenth of an inch in length, kerplunk dropped the deer to the ground, dead from suffocation, and Red was free. On any other day the wound that Red gave the deer would have killed it at once. The b^ll went clean through the animal; but the holes froze up instantly on each side, and the deer was as sound as ever." The Kind of Country Sew Mexico Is. Gen. Low Wallace does not give a very encouraging account of New Mex­ ico* He says : " The southern portion of New Mex­ ico and Northern Old Mexico is infested by bands of thieves, robbers and mur­ derers, many of whom are wanted in the East to answer for crimes committed. They think no more of killing a man than of shooting game. They rob the miners of their horses, mules and other property. They rob anybody they lay their hands on. If a man resists they kill him. The property and life of no one are safe from them. When a Depu­ ty Marshal, armed with authority and backed by his posse, gets after them they go oveT into Old Mexico, and laugh at their pursuers. The latter cannot stay there watching them and neglect­ ing their own business. As soon as they retire the outlaws come back into New Mexico, and go to robbing and killing again." Winter Sports. ^ " Ah, that's what I like ! that's what I i like 1" chirped old Mr. Whistlcblossom, | as he came carefully down the hill where j the boys were exercising their sleds, i "If there's.anything I really love, it's to I see the boys, full of animal spirits, enjoy­ ing these wintry sports." And just at that instant 150 pounds of animal spirits came dashing down'the hill on n double- runner, and caught the unsuspecting Mr. Whistleblossom between the heels. There was a sound of revelry by night, and when they picked up the unfortunate gentleman, and had pinned together the ruptured back of his coat, he remarked, in a tone so gentle that it made him quite black in the face, that the City Government who would refuse to pass a law making it a reform-school crime to slide on the streets were a set of pusillan­ imous yahoos.--Rockland Courier. A Fanny Fact. Sol Smith Russell tells the following story of his experience as as entertainer: At a small Ohio town, where he had given his performance the previous night, he met at the depot the following morning an elderly granger, who, whilo he peacefully munched a huge quid of tolwicco, intently eyed the humorist and fip.aMy said: "Say, mister hen't you the fellow wot gin the show up to Smoot's Hall last night?" "Yes," replied Russell, "I did give an entertainment at Smoot's Hall last night." "Wall, I thought you was the chap. I wanted to tell you 'bout a !>oy of mine; you ought to have him; | he's just the fellow for your show; he's j the darndest fool I ever see." THERE is no greater sign of a mean and sordid man than to dote upon riches; nor is anything more magnificent • than to lay them out freely in acts of j bounty ana liberality. FACTS FOR THE CURIOUS, THEY eat monkey-cutlets in Brazil. OPIUM kills 3,000,000 Chinese every year; so the missionaries say. IT is soarcelv known that such is the case, but whales and seals Buckle their young. IN the year 1900 -February will have but twenty-eight days, although a leap' year. This phenomenon occurs once only in 200 years, and always in the odd 100. THE Roman Emperor Msximinus was upwards of eight feet in height, and, like Milo of Crotona, could squeeze to powder the hardest stone with his fingers, and break the leg of a horse with a kick. WHILE a prisoner in Germany, Rich- aid L received an invitation to a boxing match with the son of his jailer. He received the first blow, which made him stagger, but, recovering, with a blow of his fist he killed bin antagonist on the spot. THE spoken language of China so dif­ fers in every separate province that peo­ ple living a hundred miles apart can no more understand each other than a Nor­ wegian can understand a Hottentot. The Mandarin or Court language is more common than any other dialect, and is the official tongue of the empire. THE average of heat and cold varies but little from year to year. The aver­ age of the highest daily record in 1878 was 61 J, and in 1879 was 58j, which shows an extreme of the change within five years. The average of the lowest daily record for the year 1879 was 41J, and for 1878 46J, representing the ex­ tremes on that side. WHEN we study the construction of our most important instruments we dis­ cover to onr astonishment that the latter are copies of some parts of our body, and simply a further completion of them. In the first stone hammer man has unknowingly imitated his forearm with closed fist; in the shovel and spoon we see the forearm and hollowed hand; in the saw we find a reproduction of a row of teeth ; tongs represent the clos­ ing together of thumb and fingers ; in the hook is a bent finger reproduced ; the pencil is simply-a prolongation of the forefinger; so we see in all instru­ ments, from the simplest to the most complicated, only an improvement and completion of the human organs; and thus w% find that all tLe intentional thoughts of men are directed toward the same aim as that toward which organic development tends. PROF. TAIT, of Edinburgh, thus illus­ trates the gigantic scale upon which na­ ture performs some of her most ordinary operations : Suppose a mere tenth of an inch of rain to fall from the lowest mile of the atmosphere. An inch of rain is five pounds* of water to the square foot, and gives out on being condens«jd from vapor, approximately, 3,000 units of heat, on the centrigrode scale. The mass of the mile-high column of air, a square foot in section, is about 300 pounds, and its specific heat about a quarter that of water. Thus its temj>eratnre thruoghout would bo raised.,bv about 33 degrees centigrade, or GO'degrees Fahrenheit. For one-tenth of an inch of rain, therefore, we should have a rise of temperature of the lowest mile of the atmosphere amounting to 33 degrees centigrade--quito enough to produce a very powerful ascend­ ing current. As the air ascends and expands it cools, and more vapor is precipitated, so that the ascending cur­ rent is further accelerated. The heat developed over one square foot of the earth's surface under these conditions is equivalent to work at the rate of a horse­ power for twelve minutes. Over a square mile this would be 10,<300,000 horse­ power for half an hour. A fall of one- tenth of an inch of rain over the whole of Great Britain gives heat equivalent to the work of 1,000,000 of horses for half an hour. Numbers like these are be­ yond our comprehension. They enable us, however, to see the full explanation of the energy of the most violent hurri­ canes in the simplest physical concomi­ tants of the mare condensation of aque­ ous vapor. The Wolf and the Hare--A Fable. One day as a Hare was pursuing her way through tbe forest she was over­ taken by a Wolf, who had no sooner come in sight than he called out: "Bv what right do you walk in this path ?" " I thought it was a publia highway," humbly replied the Hare. * " Suppose it is ? You are nothing but a Hare, while I am a Wolf. It is your business to follow on behind me if you want to go my way. How it looks to see a big, strong Wolf following a weak and cowardly Hare like you." " Very well," answered the Hare, who drvred not dispute for fear of being still worse used. The Wolf was in no hurry. Indeed, he did not care to travel that way at all, except to humiliate his weaker neigh- lx>r. As he passed along at a slow gait he looked over his shoulder and ob­ served : " Don't keep so pear me. If we meet anybody I don't care to have them think we are traveling in company. It is only an act of condescension that I allow you to travel this path at all." Hie Hare fell back a few feet further, feeling that any dispute would result to to the advantage of the Wolf. They h»ul not proceeded far when the Wolf sud­ denly uttered a howl of surprise and pain, and os the .Hare came up he was rolling over the ground with his fore feet fast in a trap. " Help ! help!" shouted the Wolf. "But I am nothing but a Hare," re­ plied the other. How it would look to see a weak and cowardly Hare rushing to the assistance of a big. strong Wolf!" " I Bliall be held here until the hunter comes to knock me on the head!" moaned the Wolf. "If you had permitted me to go on my way in peace I should have been first at the trap," answered the Hare. " Yes, but please do something for me !" '"I'd be glad to, small and weak as I am ; but if anybody should come along I don't care to have them think we are traveling in company! Tra-la, Mr. Wolf!" Moral : There is never a safe time to put on airs. The man you kick to-day may drive a grocer's delivery wagon to­ morrow.--M. Quod. Nature's Big Gas Tanks. Bradford, Pa., and neighboring places are lighted and lioated by natural gas. In 1875 mi oil company was sinking a well in a high hill wes-t of Bradford. At the d 'pth of .several hundred feet they struck a vein of g»s. No wil was fouud. The force oi the g£* was Bnch that when it was iguit-d a pillar of tiro more than fifty feet high was formed. Tbe roar of the gaR crmld.be heard for a mile and more. This burned for months. The lunit WHS such that prass and foliage grew in the depth of winter ns luxuri­ antly for hundreds of fet-t around as it did in the summer. Straw!>erries ripened near this well in February. The well had been burning for a long time before the feasibility of utilizing it was thought of. A belt of dry territory, but yielding vast volumes of gas, was subsequently found to exist in the vi­ cinity of the original gas well. A com­ pany was formed to carry the gas into the city. It is now distributed all over the place by pipes. A gas-pipe, with jets attached, is run into the parlor and kitchen stoves^ The supply of gas is controlled by a stopcock on the pipe. When a fire is wanted a lighted match is thrown iuto the stove and the gas turned on. The fire is started at once. The gas possesses great heating qualities, and apartments are wormed as quickly and as well by it as by coal. Gas for illu­ minating purposes is conducted into the house the same as artificial gas is taken in. At first tliq light was not brilliant andsteady.owingtoimpurities. Processes for refining it were invented, and now the natural illuminator is unsurpassed by the finest manufactured gas. It is so cheap that people seldom turn out their lights. It burns day and night in stores hotels, private houses and streets. Con­ sumers pay by the month instead of by the thousand. Gas-wells have come to be more valuable than oil wells, and the sudden phenomenal appearance of oil in some of the principal wells in the gas belt has created consternation among owners and consumers. For years the gas ha»s flowed from wells iu unremit­ ting volume. That oil was not to be found thert it was thought had been con­ clusively settled. -- Philadelphia Tele­ graph. * The Phantom Dsnonneer. A settler in New South Wales was missing from his farm. His convict overseer gave out that ho had gone off privately to England, and left the prop­ erty in his care. This was thought ex­ traordinary, as the settler was not in dif­ ficulties, and was a steady, prudent mau; but the affair was almost forgotten, when, one Saturday night, another settler was returning with his horse and cart from market. On arriving at a part of the road near the farm of his absent neigh­ bor, he thought he saw him sitting on the fence; immediately the farmer pulled up aud hailed his friend, and receiving no answer, got out of the cart, and went toward the fence. His neighbor (as he plainly appeared to be) quitted the fence, and crossed the field toward a pond in the direction of his home, which it was sup­ posed he had deserted The farmer re­ mounted his cart and proceeded home. The next morning he went to his neighbor's cottage, expecting to see him, but he saw only the overseer, who laughed at the story, and said that his master was at that time near the shores of England. The circumstances was so inexplicablesthat the farmer went to the nearest justice of the peaoe, related the circumstances and added that he feared foul play had taken place. A native black, who was attached to the station as a constable, was sent with some of the mounted police, and accompanied the farmer to the rails where the latter thought he had seen his friend. The spot was pointed out to the black, with­ out showing him the direction which the lost person Apparently took after (putting the fenoe. On close inspection, a part of the up­ per rail was observed to be discolored; it was scraped with a knife by the black, who next smelled at it, and tasted it Immediately after he crossed the fence, and walked'straight to the pond near the cottage. On its surface was a scum, which he took up in a leaf, aud, after tasting and smelling, he declared it to be "white man's fat." Several times, somewhat after the man­ ner of ablood-liouud, he ooursed round the lake; at last he darted into the neighbor­ ing thicket, and halted at * place con­ taining some loose and decayed brush­ wood. On moving this, he thrust down the ram-rod of his musket into the earth, I smelled it, and then desired the spectators J to dig there. Instantly spades were | brought from the cottage, aud the body of the settler was found, with his skull j fractured, and presenting every indica- j tion of having been for some time im- j mersed iu water. The overseer was arrested and tried for murder. The foregoing circum­ stantial evidence formed the main proofs. He was found guilty, sentenceu to death, and proceeded to the scaffold protesting his innocence. Here, however, his hardihood forsook him. He acknowl­ edged the murder of his late master. He had come behind him when he was crossing the ideutical rail on which the farmer fancied he saw the deceased, and, with one blow on the head, killed him. He then dragged the body to the pond, and threw it in; but, after some days, took it out again, and buried it where it was found. The sagacity of the native black was remarkable; the more so as he averred that he didn't know how he came by it; he "just felt that what he said and did was /iglit," was the only explanation he oould give. lie Had Reasons. One day last fall a queer sort of an old man lured a boat and rowed out on the river a little below Yonkers to fish. So far as could be observed from the banks he had no luck. He went out about 10 in the morning and at 4 in the afternoon he sat in the same position, held his fishpole the same way, and had evidently settled down to stay there all i night Pretty soon a steamboat came rushing ! along donrn the river. She was headed I directly for the fisherman, who was in ; midchannel. She blew her whistle to I warn him, but after a glance over his | shoulder he resumed the old attitude. | The steamer came nearer aud nearer; I and the old ID on was observed to give a j sudden start and pay more attention to his line. When too late, the pilot tried to stop and avoid the accident The skiff was struck broadside and splintered to pieces, and for two or three' minutes it was believefl that tho old man wat drowned. Then some one espied him in the wake of the boat, and he was fished out " Didn't yon hear us whistle ?" asked the Captain, as the dripping man stood before him. " Yes; aid I whistled back!" was the reply. " We wtistled for you to get oat of the way." ^ " And I whistled to let you khpw that I'd be daned if I would.'* * " Had jou any reasons for hanging to the chamel?" " Reasons ! I guess I had I I had fished there for six hours without a nib­ ble, and just as you came along I'd booked a perch, which I honestly be­ lieve weighed mighty nigh a pound ! ^Drat yoir old steamboat, but I'll make you pay for that tish as well as the dam­ ages ! I was six hours catching him, and I von't settle for a farthing less than 60 cents."--Wall Street Daily News. A OOCNTRT girl at a fashionable hotel in Nev York noticed that all the guests used tieir forks only in eating their pie. Upon her return home she reported the fact to the old lady, who comforted her by observing, "You shouldn't mind 'em, Jemina; it's all because they're too tarnel lazy to use their knives." CAMEO CUTTING. Wwwiih (ke Wntara. Cam&o cutting is one of the most profit­ able arts to engage in. There are but a few cutters, and there is a steady de­ mand for all they can produce. The cut­ ters are very secretive, and greatly dis­ like to talk about their work. Most V>f the cameos are produced from sea-shells. A visit to a cameo cutter's work-shop found him seated at a table covered wi'th tools, varying from a triangular-pointed steel instrument to the most dedicate pointed bits of steel wire fastened in handles. Very fine files and knitting needles, set in wooden grips and ground to infinitesimal points, figured in the lot. On a pad of leather, before the cameo cutter, was a block of wood just big enough to be grasped with his hand, and cemented to the middle of it was an oval object that looked like a piece of alabas­ ter, just big enough to make a'seal for spine was all right, and the means of i cure simple, I felt no doubt, I ordered the boots she generally wore to be j brought to me, and found the heels raised two inches, tapering to the size of 1 a shilling, and, to make matters worse, • instead of corresponding to the situation of the natural heel, they were situated 1 immediately under the arch of the foot. : I recommended rest in the horizontal' position for two or three days, and shoes ; with half-inch soles, of the breadth of the natural heel, and the toes broad in proportion, to be substituted for those previously worn. The cure was com- j plete. No nausea, no weariness, no pain or discomfort, after a four-mile walk, j have been experienced since." Wellington and Waterloo. Wellington and Waterloo appeared in a fresh aspect in the following hitherto unpublished letter unearthed by the the finger of a man who did not object to Aoademv The writer, who was an of- wearine' lanre riium. Uoon this the ar- at.Wellington s headquarters during wearing large rings. Upon this the ar­ tist was just finishing a copy, with a pencil pointed to needle fineness, of a photograph in profile of a gentleman, which was leaned against a little photo­ graph easel before him. Having finished the outline, he laid his pencil by, and taking up a fine wire tool he scratched the pencil-mark, around with it. Then he took a darning-needle with a sharp point and scratched the line deeper. He worked with a magnifying-^lass at his eye, and stopped continually to inspect the progress of his work with critical , ., . , , . . , ; minuteness. Then he went at it again, ! ,rer®' ^ ^fem8, incredible, and certamly , working slowly, scratching over the same •®<5ured the success of the day, of which line again and again, and always examin- * ono. tune everybody except himself ing after each scratch. He changed hifc ^ne . hia aides-de-camp tools as he went on, and from the darn- ! *°ld me this morning that he took his ing-needle descended to a trifling little ! I^ltion on a ndge, from which he de­ fragment of steel wire, not as thick as an j ar n^ver, would move--and ordinary sewing-needle, set in a slender I 5®ver did move but in triumph. When | handle. With this he scratched and re- j HonftPartc headed an overwhelming , scratclied, until the lines he had drawn i charge, the Duke threw himself into the with his pencil had quite vanished, and i opposu^ square, by which it was sue- , a thin, fine streak of a dark color had ] , u-\ resistod. I mention these par- j marked the outline of the head lie had ! J1?u'ar8 because tliey are precisely what the battle, writes, under date of Brus­ sels, June 19, 1815: I I "I cannot help writing two lines to i congratulate and condole with you oh . the victory which England has purchased : for Europe--at tbe expense of more than j half her army. I must not attempt to give you any account of the battle, of which the Gazette will, I dare say, give * ns the first distinct information. I un- j derstaud, however, that it throws every- | thing which the Duke has before done into the shade. His personal exertions been tracing his way around. Next he took one of his liurin-like tools and com his dispatches will not mention, and be- | cause I have them from an eye-witness. menced agaiu. This time he worked on | Everybody was killed or wounded about the outside of the outline, cutting and mm but he is happily unhurt. One is scraping at the surface until the white turned gray, then brown, and finally vanished, leaving the face in relief, sur­ rounded by a bluck ground--that is, the portrait remained intaet in the white substance which formed the outer layer of the cameo, while it had been cut away around it to the lower or dark layer.' The portrait or figure is then modulated upon its surface until it assumes the roundnoss of nature. The eelges are left square to the dark ground. This is necessary, as, if they are gradually rounded down, the outline becomes un­ defined toward its juncture with the re­ lieving surface, owing to the white of the raised portion being partially transpar­ ent, and permitting the dark to show through it when it is thinned down. Care is taken to finish this dark surface as much as possible with the cutting tools, and so separate the white from it as to leave it smooth and unscratched. A final polish is given it, however, with putty powder, applied dry with a stiff brush, but the utmost care is necessary in this operation, as the slightest slip will ruin the work. This is the cameo- cutter's work, the mountings being the jeweller's work. The cameos sell, un­ mounted, for about $25. Italy is the home of cameo-cutting, and the finest works of art in that line are still turned out there. Genoa and Rome are tho centers of production. There is a colony of cameo-cutters in Paris who produce some very good work. The cameos made abroad, are, as a rule, fauciful works, copies of statues, mythological figures and the like. The shells used in oameo- outting are of several sorts, bjit all are ordinary sea-shells or conchs. Some come from the East and some from the We*st Indies. Many are imported, as there is commonly only enough mate­ rial available in each one for a single cameo. Tlieso shells all have a white surface, but the inner layer is red, black aud dark claret iu color, according to the sj>ecies. The pieces to be used by the artist are sawed from the shells and shaped iuto the square or oval form re­ quired on a grindstone. Then thoy are ready for tho artist Japanese Art. The excellence of Japanese art, says a foreign, writer, is certainly not born of any deliberate or direct study of nature. Even the llower and bird compositions of the Japanese, exquisite as they are, are almost always, botanically and ornitho- logicully, incorrect iu drawing. Of dogs aud horses, deer and oxen, and quadru­ peds generally, the portraiture is child­ ishly and ludicrously wrong, while of the human form aud of the human counte­ nance no attempt to limn the contours and lines of beauty and force, with either truth or gyvce, seems ever to have been made by tne Japanese artist. Yet the special port and gesture, so to speak, of the subject, be it a flower, a bush, a mass of wind-blown foliage, a gnarled tree or a wing-poised bird, are rendered, maugre the faulty drawing, with incomparable vigor, with a fluent ease hardly to be met with among ourselves; with a feeliug that has got the very core of the matter. Japanese sketches of Bocial life, of tired ;>easants, doughty warriors, dainty dam- •sels, traders, peddlers, street folk--aye, •ven of things divine--fonlfv and i«M\berii on .shawls ana Cloaks "^ITZSIMMONS IT KV ANSON. afraid to inquire after an acquaintance, the carnage has been so inexpressibly horrible. No words can do anything | like justice to the valor of our people, i who were literally almost smothered by ' the superior numbers of tho French, who were themselves aaharnc beyond all for­ mer examples. Of this you will judge when I tell you that one of the prisoners has just now, opposite to this house, pro­ voked a soldier to bayonet him by his cries of ' Vive V Euipercur!' As well as can be judged, the French are supposed to have lost 180 pieces of ennnon. The day was at one tntie supposed to be so (completely lost, and the French so thoroughly expected to make their ap­ pearance, I thought it prudent to dis­ patch a part of the department, with pa­ pers and some of our baggage, toward Antwerp, and have this morning sent af­ ter them to return." "tiveM. your money at Fitzsiramons '"jjivannoirs--now. tin ----- - of' tlie Dundee and Richmond us^res, buys and sells for eiK»li only, itiiieeqneiitly cau oiler you inducements autiM kinds of goods. Read his price onf- ^IIKAPJJST Cloaks in town for the to t t i e y a t M i > II H.Xicliols. ra>- you want your Watch pnt in' first wi>s Order, call on, Robert Murlllt uaaeler, Nunda. an jrfew' Prints, latest patterns, nt aj|ces from five rents a yard and up- (jgi'ds, at Colby Bros.. Riverside Block '.'•ladies of Mdle.iry and vicinity V i » ' t b u y y o u r H a t s o r B o n n e t s u n t i l liav»- looked at and priced goods sk'Mis. S. S^arles. Am noiv o|leri«y- evmicu 'uiigixianj • nuia ft loyal tuougu narrowed contemplation of Nature, are represented. --New York Post. What Ailed the Girl. prominent and eminent physician New York was consulted respecting a ing lady, aged 16, whose parents we He greatly alarmed at a supposed spirtal affection, under which they be­ lieved their daughter to bo suffering. Aftet on ordinary walk, but more espe­ cially after ascending the hillB in the lo­ cality, she expressed a decided feeling * f nausea, and an amount of pain ^ and heat over the dorsal and lumbar regions, extending more or less through the whole lower extremities, and followed by an amount of painful weariness that wholly disabled her for days after, the muscular parts being painful on pres­ sure. The doctor tells the resitlt of his investigation as follows: "My professional knowledge of both parenta and child guided my diagnosis and prognosis of the case. That the How The llanana Is Developed. The Cuba correspondent of the Boston Commercial Bulletin writes: The man­ ner in which the .fruit is developed is quite interesting. From the midst of tne leaves and at the top appears a large, smooth, purple cone, hanging down graeefullv at the end of a stock. The flowers are all wrapped up in this cone, which consists of a large number of closely-packed spathes. By-aud-by the uppermost of these sheathes disengages itself from the rest, curls up, and dis­ closes a row of three or four long blos­ soms, with the young fruit of each be­ ginning to form. While this row of fruit is ten4er, the spathe remains hanging over it like a root; but when the fruit has acquired some size and strength, the protecting shield drops off, and the next in order rises up, with a similar row of young fruit, over which it stands iu the same watchful attitude, till it also drops off to be succeeded by another. When one circle of fruit is completed, another is commenced below, aud iu due time auother; while the common stem around which the fruit is disposed, grows constantly longer, and the cone of spathes diminishes in size, till it is all unfolded, and a monstrous bunch of ba­ nanas is finished, which seldom weighes less tlian twenty or thirty and sometimes as much as seventy or eighty pounds. Of all kinds of vegetable nutrimout the banana is perhaps tl»e most productive, and most easily raised. After a plant has produced its bunch of fruit, the stem is either cut, or is suf­ fered to wither and fall on the spot. In the former case, it is good fodder for cattle; in the latter it forms good manure for the young shoots which have been springing from the root, and which are soon ready to bear fruit in their turn. From these shoots or sprouts the plant is propagated. What Was the Dialect J If you don't know how to say in a for­ eign tongue what you want to say, don't Bay you don't know what Not a few Americans havo been mortified, while airing their bad French in a Parisian store, to hear the polite clerk say : " Monsieur will pardon me, but*I under­ stand English." A story told of Representative Ortli, of T"Jiano, illustrates the expediency of lerving the above advice. He is of man descent, and is proud of his ity to speak the German language. ]^|ome years ago he was appointed ;ted States Minister at Vienna. When pas presented at court, thinking to a delicate compliment to the Em­ ir of Austria, he delivered his official \\r 4 ress in German. The Minister cred- himsclf with having done his part . But there are always two imprest s made by an address--that made < u 'speaker himself, and that ou tl<« •er. few days after Mr. Orth'B linguistic ses8, an American gentleman of higl txon was presented to the Empero» .Majesty alluded to Mr. Orth in com lentary terms, he asked : In what dialect did Mr. Orth deliver Address ? I know, of course, that it Z not English, and I thought that I l,lcted faint traces of the Teutonic .U..^ue in some of the words."--Youth's Companion. ' ^ French Polish. To one pint of spirits of wine add half an ounce of gum shellac, half an ounce of gum lac and half an oxnee of gum sandxach. Place tke whole over a gen­ tle heat, frequently agitating it till the gums are dissolved. Then make a roller of list, put a little of the mixture on it, and cover that with a soft linen rag, which must be slightly touched with cold drawn linseed oil. * Rub them into the wood in a circular direction, cove* ing only a small space at a time, till tkS pores of the wood are filled up. After this rub in the same manner spirits of wine with a small portion of the polish added to it, and then the effect will be complete. If the furniture had been previously polished, it must first be cleaned off with glass paper. Ir you should be asked when a oat is like a teapot, yoa might reply, " When your teasin' it Fa i Is Ill.-l ot 1 t lie uat XC|J T all low Terrible Smell on tHe tars. ? Mr. Eppenetus Hoyt, of Fond dot Lao, went to Chicago on a visit. Mr. Hoyt knew a young man named Johnnio Darling, who was attending Rash Medi­ cal College, and through him was per­ mitted to visit the dissecting-room. Mr. Hoyt was introduced to a number of the wicked young men who were carving the late lameuted, and, after he got ac- customed to the climate, he rather en-;; joyed the performance. Whether young Mr. Darling told the boys that Mr. Hoyt was " fresh " or not will, perhaps, never be known, but, as Mr. Hoyt passed around among the slabs where they wero at work, each made a contribution from the corpse he was at work on to Mr. Hoyt's coat pockets, unbeknown to him. While one was calling his attention to a limb that he was dissecting, another would cut off an ear, or a finger, or a nose, or dig out an eye, and drop tho same into Mr. Hoyt's overcoat pockets. Finally he bid the boys good-by, thanked them for their courtesies in showing him around, skipped for the train ana got on board. The seats were all occu­ pied, and a middle-aged lady, with a slim face and spectacles, and evidently an old maid, allowed bua to sit beside her. The car was warm, and it was not long befor* the " remains " began to be heard from. He was talking with the lady when he smelled something. The lady had been smelling it for some miles back, and she had got her eye on Mr. Hoyt, and had put her handkerchief to her nose. He took a long breath and said to the lady: . * " The air seems sort of fixed here in the car, does it not ?" and he looked up at the transom. "Yes," said the lady, as she turned, pale, and asked him to let her out of the seat, " it is very much fixed, and I be­ lieve you are the man that fixed it!" and she took her sachel and went to the rear of the car, where she glared at him as though he was a fat-rendering estab­ lishment. Mr. Hoyt devoted a few mo­ ments to silent prayer and then his. at­ tention was called to a new-married couple in the seat ahead of him. They had bee^having their heads close to­ gether, When suddenly the bride said: "Hennery, have you been drinking?** He vowed by all that was great and glo­ rious that he had not, when she told him that there was something about hia breath that reminded her of strong drink or a packing-house. He allowed that it was not him, but admitted that he had noticed there was something wrong, though he didn't know but it was some of her teeth that needed filling. They were both mad at the insinuationa of the other, and the bride leaned on tho window and cried, while the groom looked the other way and acted cross. Mr. Hoyt was very much annoyed at the smell, and made up his mind it was his duty to speak to the groom about it So he introduced himself and told the .groom he ought to do something to cure those feet of his. The groom looked at him indignantly, but Mr. Hoyt contin­ ued : "You may think it will wear off, but it won't I knew a man in Fond du Lao whose feet perspired as bad as yours, and it was almost impossible to stay in a room witl: him. He had to sleep with his feet out the window, and the neigh­ bors complained to the health officers. One day he--" At this point the bridegroom called his wife, and they indignantly left the car. Mr. Hovt was annoyed. The smell remained, and people all around him got up and went to the forward end of the car, or to the rear, and there wet# a dozen empty seats when the conductor came in, and lots of people standing ujv The conductor got one sniff and said : " Whoever has got that piece of Lim- berg cheese in his pocket will have to go in the emigrant car." They all looked at Hoyt, and the conductor went up to him and asked him if he didn't know any better than to be carrying around such cheese as that Hoyt said IIA hadn't got no cheese. The conductor insisted that he had, and told him to turn his pockets wrong side out Hoyt jabbed his hands into his pockets, and fe.lt something cold and cfammy. He drew his hands out empty, turned pale, ai*d said he didn't have any cheese. The conductor insisted on his feeling again, and he brought to the surface ft couple of human ears, a finger and ft thumb. "What in the name of the apostles have you got there?" says the conductor. " Do you belong to any canning estab­ lishment that sends canned missionary to the heathen cannibals ?" Hoyt tola the eonductor to come in the baggage car and he would explain all; and as lie passed by the passengers, with both hands full of the remains, the passengera were ready to lynch Hoyt He told the conductor where he had been, and the boys had played it on him, and the fingers and tilings were thrown beside the track. Afterward Hoyt went in the car and tried to apologize to the old maid, but she said if he didn't go awar from her she would scream. Hoyt would always rather go away than have a woman scream. He is tryiug to think of some way to get even with the boys at Rush Medical College. --Peck's Sun._ Washington Malaria. Congressmen, says a Washington letter writer, have a perfect right to drink aa much whisky as they please, providing they attend to their duties and do not of­ fend the proprieties. It must be con­ fessed that some of them devote a good deal of time to the importunities of John Barleycorn. There are some very heavy drinkers in both Houses--men who areas straight as a dart at home. Sometimes they neglect their constituents and the public business, sometimes they are seen with pretty bad " characters. I have known Congressmen who were unable to leave their beds for weeks because of delirium tremens. I havo known others so drunk in the Capitol that they 6ould not stand or even sit in a chair. You may properly say that this is none of my business. Well, as I do not assume to inform the world, it prob­ ably is no affair of mine. But this is what I am coming to: After some mem­ bers and Senators drink until their stomachs are all gone and they are un­ able to eat or drink anything, and have to lie by for a week or two, they account for their condition with the general ex­ planation--4 'malaria." Malaria fiddlesticks! It is more like rum-alia! These people are a little fond of using the vorus "Washington ma­ laria. " The physicians here understand the business. When they find an hon­ orable Senator or member suffering from too much rum, they tell him he has the malaria. They charge him an extra $10, but he is willing to pay it to deoeive hia oonstiteents, his family, and his friends. He may really think he is fooling the doctor, too, but he isn't THE finest floors are said to be BEEN in Russia. For those of the highest grade tropical woods are exclusively employed. Fir and pine are never used, as in conse­ quence of their sticky character they at­ tract and retain dust and dirt, and there­ by soon became blackened. Pitch too, is liable to shrink, even aft< r lviug well seasoned. Tho moeaic wood tioura in Russia are of extraordinary beaatj.