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V. V s - * * , t,, \ -*"<v^ & ***£*7 waits lOBTALmr. * "iJSo s* the clamasls rose yon aea, fir like ft Kow.rn 011 a. tree, ike a dainty flown in May, ilke the miorataff to tfc« M r 'ike the sun, or like the shade, r like the gourd which Jonah hid-- veil such IB man, whose tbread ia apm, rawii out and out, and BO ia done. The rose wiiinera, Uia blossom blaateth, , : The ftoww fadec, ttn morning lisstetb, / The BHU Mto, tlw aha&M flies, ' The gottrd consumes, tfee iiisn -he ales. fcike to the gnm> that's wwly spriUM, Or like a tale that's now began, >S>, #r like the Mrd Uial'a h? re Or Jikfl the pearled dew in May, Or like an h<wir, or like a span, Or like the fin«)iig of a swsn-- |ven ouch Js man, *ho Hves by ft: here, now \he-re, in life and death. , The grass withers, the tale is ended, V,1, The bird is flown, the dew ascended. The bow ia short the span not long, at'snear death, man's life boo to the bobble in the brook, 7 in a glass much like a look, *#- like the ahnttte in weaver's haaK Mke the writing in the rar.d, like a thought, or like a dree.ro, like the gliding of the ctreem--* ven michis man, who lives by bi 1 here, now there, in life and (testa. The bnbbleV out, the look forgot, The shuttle's flung, the writing's blot, paat, the dream is gone, - .§ The waters glide, man's lit* in donet », If1*® to an arrrow from the bow, : . *. { Or like the swift course of water flMK 1 fir like the tide 'twixt flood and ebto^ Or like the spider's tender web, Or like a race, or like a goal, Or like the dealing of a dole-- «Sren finch ia man, whose brittle state • • le always subject unto fate. The arrow shot, the flood soon spent, The time no stay, the web soon rent, The race wxm run, the g< al g.wn won. The dole soon de&it, mau's life soott dm Uke to the lightning from the eky, ^Ir like a pout (hat quick doth hie, Or Hke a quarter in a song, ^ , Or like a journey three days long, Or like a snow when eimiraer'a coOMfe Or like the pear or like the plumv «*ven uucb is mar), who heap* up wiw>, lives but tbiB day, and dies to-morrow. The lightning's past, the pout moat go. The song !» short, the journey eo, •' The peer doth ret, the plum doth fan. The snow dissolves, and so inuat all. . SV#* I*: 'ii . * Pyrahid of Cabbages. " Why, -where ere yon going, Isabel Eastman ? Not into the farm-yard, surely ?" " Miss Lottie Mayell, I am going in­ to the farm-yard, surely," replied Isa­ bel ; with a mischievous light in her gay eyes, and a charming smile on her pret­ tily curved lips, as she opened the gate leading to that place. " Nowhere else can we be confidential without run- *ning the risk of being overheard. The farmer's family are in the orchard; Charley and a lialf-do&en of his play­ mates are playing in the flower-garden ; there's a young couple in the parlor at the piano, he making love, and she not making music, and a still younger couple whispering and giggling in the bay-window; auntie in my room enjoy­ ing ' Splendid Misery ;' and grandma is in auntie's room darning stockings. And so, if you really want to hear • right away' why I am here instead of at one of my usual summer haunts, you must e'en follow me to the farm-yard. Be­ sides which"--speaking with increased animation--"I have lately, strange as it may seem to you, developed quite a pas­ sion for farm-yards." " It doesn't seem at all strange to me, my dear, for during our ten years' friendship you've always been devel­ oping some odd passion or other. But rw never lost faith in you. Lead on; 111 follow." And, stepping daintily and gracefully, peded by •«H»g g the crowd of hung and chickens holding unimpeded by trains or demi-trains, the lg girls threaded their way through a loud and lively conversation prepara­ tory to going to roost; past the cows waiting to be milked, and turning their heads to look after the intruders with great sclemn brown eyes; and old Low- head, the white horse, slacking his thirst at the water-trough--to the ex­ treme end of the yard, where a pile of cabbages, neatly arranged in the form of a pyramid, confronted them. . " Behold," said Isabel, stopping be­ fore it, " how nature lends nerself to art 1 (That sounds well, though I don't know as it means anything). This mighty structure, formed of the green and succulent cabbage, is, no doubt, the work of some humble field-laborer, who, having heard of the pyramids of Egypt --incited thereto, no doubt, by the news­ paper paragraphs about our own dear obeliifk--has sought to vary the mon­ otony of cabbage life by building as close an imitation as his material would allow. Let us hope that this flight of imagination may lead to a higher one, and tnat the cabbage man, like the but­ ter woman, may meet with public recog­ nition, and at last be crowned with a wreath of laurels. Often from the hum­ blest sources spring great works of gen­ ius. Bums--Lottie " (breaking off sud­ denly and assuming a reproachful tone), " why do you break in upon my elo­ quence with rude and unseemly laughter ? 1 was about to repeat to you Lcmgfellow's last poem; now I won't. See what your frivolity has lost you! And take a seat on the extreme base of the pyramid--I prefer the mound of sods in this secluded corner, sacred to somebody's rake and hoe--while I go back to the commonplace." "Thank you, Bell, dear, 111 share the sods with you, if you please. I have an idea that a cabbage would prove a very uncomfortable seat under any circum­ stances/ And do go back to the com­ monplace, that's a darling, for I'm dying tp know what lias happened since we parted an age ago." " An age ago. One year and a half exactly. I was then engaged to Claude Wenner. Pretty name, isn't it ? And he was a pretty little fellow, with nice curly hair and lovely blue eyes, with lashes long enough for a ban^, small dimpled hands, and not an idea in his little round head. My mother--with all due deference I say it--and his mother--to whom I accord much less deference-- made the match when I was but 18, and I unmade it at 20. I never loved Claude. How could I? And he never loved me. How could he ? We were the victims of circumstances and match-making mam­ mas, and two mortals more unlike it would be hard to find. He was the most conventional of men, and would have nearly died if at any one of those dreamy dinner parties, in which his soul delight­ ed, somebody had whispered to liim that his back hair wasn't parted straight, while I have often been strongly tempted to shock the full-dressed guests, at the very start, by asking for some more soup. Well, last June, at Newport, my . diminutive friend, Eda Smythe, with a head the exact counterpart of Claude's appeared upon the scene, and she and my betrothed fell in love with each other at first sight. Mamma fretted and fumed, and scolded, .and asked me, with tragic emphasis, how I could look calmly on ana see so many thousands of dollars being lost to the family, for she was sure that artful minx would persuade poor dear Claude to elope or something ; but I continued to look calmly on, until one evening Claude, with a deep sigh, kissed Eda's hand as he bade her good-night, when I turned suddenly upon them, and bade them follow me to my room. There I forgave--quite as the manner of a stage parent--the infatuated midgets at their base duplicity, gave them my bless­ ing, kissed them both ; and as soon as they, beaming with joy, had departed, I, also, beaming with joy, and not quite in the manner of a stage rarent, except, perhaps, a Pinafore one, executed a pirouette--in honor of my newly ac­ quired freedom. Mamma was awfully angry, but they are awfully happy, and they've named the baby after me. My chains (they were never very heavy I must confess) broken beyond repair, I flirted more than ever, all the time grow­ ing as weary as could be of hearing the same replies, and doing this thing in the morning and that thing in the after­ noon, and the other in the evening, and«at last I fled from the old familiar throng precipitately one rainy day, leaving my maid to pack my wardrobe and follow. And I determined that this summer I would try pasture® entirely new. Auntie had often told me of the pleasant, old-fashioned farm-house which she had discovered years ago, and I coaxed mamma -- promising to take Charley, our youngest, who is the ' wor­ rit ' of her life, with me--and to spend three of my four out-of-the-citv months here. And, Lottie, I have never been as happy before, and I am firmly con­ vinced that here I have found the kind of life that would suit me be t. I was born to love cows and chickens, to make butter, to build pyramids of cab­ bages." "You!" laughed her friend. "I think I see you in the dairy, in a neat cambric dress, with sleeves rolled up to the ellx>ws, stamping the pats of butter with your monogram, for that's as near as you'd ever come to churning; and in the hennery, scattering corn to the chickens from a dainty white apron, a curiously-shaped rustic hat meanwhile shading your rose-and-cream complexion from the sun. You born to love cows and chicken? ! you, who have reigned a city belle for four long years !" "And for three been most ready to abdicate. By the by "--with assumed carelessness--" have you seen the young farmer, the only child of our host ana hostess ? " "Certainly not," and Miss Mayell glances at her watch, " I only arrived two hours ago, and have seen no one but you and your aunt. But I can see him in my mind's eye--tall, ungainly, and speaks through his nose, eats with his knife, says * How!' and stares at you as though you were a being from another Bphere." " Your mind's eye needs an eyeglass, Miss Mayell. Its vision is weaV. Tall, broad-shouldered and gainly, if I may use the word as I mean it. I saw him tossing hay to-day, and he looked like an Apollo who had exchanged his lyre for a pitchfork and profited by the change. "And his table manners are as ex­ quisite as your own, Miss Mayell, and he has a deep, full voice and does not say 'How?' and has scarcely looked, let alone ' stared ' at me. I have an idea that he regards girls of our ilk with quiet scorn, and thinks of us all us hot­ house flowers not to be compared with the daisies growing wild in the mead­ ows." " How long have you been here, Is­ abel?" " Six weeks." " Quite long enough, I think. You'd better go away. You're regarding this young farmer, who never looks at you-- I don't believe that, however--too senti­ mentally. You might come to believe he has fallen in love with me." "He is so different from the soft-voiced, perfumed darlings by whom I have been surrounded an my lite that, to use vour own words, with a different application, I stare at him as though he were a being from another sphere. The young farm­ er reads, Lottie, and reads books which, though printed in our native language, would be Greek to you and me ; and he numbers the poets among his friends. I peeped into his room one day, and saw them all, in blue and gold, on his book­ shelf. He is an honest, manly fellow, with no false pride about him. I was idiot enough to fancy that he might be the least bit confused when I first saw him at work in his red shirt, and coarse, very broad-brimmed straw hat, but he sa luted me as calmly as though he had been arrayed in the finest garments. And his name is Nathaniel -- not as pretty as Claude, but it means ' the gift of God.' The gift of God, indeed, kis old mother says he has been to her, and so will he be to the woman he marries. And that woman must be a bee, not a butterfly. Lottie," with sudden fierce­ ness, " if ever you tell I'll kill you." " My dear, when 1 do, you may. Isa­ bel, I* begin to suspect that you are really in love with Nathaniel--another of your odd passions--and that beneath your butterfly wings lurks the spirit of the bee. And I may live to see you helping the pitchfork Apollo toss the hay, building obelisks and pyramids of cabbages, copy celebrated sculptures in beets, and heap turnips in imitation of classic old ruins." "I fear me not, Miss Mayell. For though I would be proud to share with each and every one of those occupa­ tions, as soon would I expect that compact mass of greens to suddenly tremble to its base and then topple over, separating one huge body into 100 or more heads, as dream that Na­ thaniel Leigh would ever care for me." The pyramid trembled to its base, and its apex tumbled to the ground. The girls rose quickly from their throne of sods and with little shrieks fled to a safe distance, then turned to look again. It toppled over, its many heads rolling in eV?ry direction, and in the place it had oocupied stood the young farmer. " I bless your brother for building a pyramid to-day. Miss Eastman," he said, " though lie did unload one of the market wagons all ready for market for the purpose. And I bless the happy chance that kept me from the orchard, and sent me here to fall asleep behind, to waken at the "sound of your voice. Spell-bound, I remained concealed, half believing that I was still dreaming, to prove the falsity of the old proverb, ' Listeners never hear any good of themselves,' But can I--dare I hope that grains of earnestness mingled with your jest, and that the pats of butter in our dairy may some day be stamped with your monogram ? Stand my friend, Miss Mayell, and you shall not be for­ gotten when we make the beet statues and the turnip ruins." " Well, 'poo my word ! " exclaimed Miss Mayell, with a frank glance of ad­ miration at the handsome young fellow, and a smile that threatened to become a laugh in another minute. " And of all things !" said Miss East­ man, a lovely blush mantling her face; and then youth and fun conquered all three, and they laughed until the farm­ yard resounded, and Lion, the watch­ dog, came bounding toward them, ask­ ing with loud bow-wows what was the matter. A few weeks after Miss Isabel East­ man became Mrs. Nathaniel Leigh, her husband, lying at her feet in the or­ chard, and looking up into her face with adoiing eyes, said : "I never would have gained courage to have told you of my love, thougii I loved you from the very first, hod I not heard from your own sweet lip* that you cared a little lor me, What good spirit, my blessed, sent you of ail places to the farmyard that after­ noon ?" " It was an imp sent me there," die answered, demurely. " Mother's young­ est, who whispered to me, as I left the house with Lottie, • There's something awful jolly way back in the farmyard-- a pyramid of cabbaere, Mid Nat Leigh fast asleep behind it.'"--Harper's Weekly, The Rumor of Smallpox. Generally speaking, there is nothing excruciatingly funny about smallpox; but the doctors who are called to pre­ scribe for patients occasionally run onto something that tickles them. Not many years ago a doctor here was called to see a man at one of the hotels, who lived out in Iowa. The man was sick as a horse, and the doctor had his suspicions about what ailed him, but couldn't tell exactly, so he gave him something to quiet him, and told the friend who was with him that he would call in the morning. The friend said he thought as much of the sick man as he could of a brother, and he would see him through. The next morning the doctor called and the sick man was aloae. He examined him and found that he had smallpox. While he was dealing out some medicine the friend came blunderiug in. Said he, " Doc., that medicine ain't worth a con­ tinental. This man is very sick." The doctor said he had come to that conclu­ sion himself. " Why," said the friend, " I rubbed him all night. I think he would have died if I had not rubbed his head. When a man is my friend he can draw on me for all that is out, and don't yon forget it" The doctor said he was glad to hear it. He said there was nothing more touching to him than pure friendship between men, and he was glad the sick man had a friend that would stick to him. "You bet your life," says the friend. And then he al­ most intimated that the doctor did not understand bis business, and said some­ thing had got to be done, if there was any doctors in Milwaukee that could haudle the case. The doctor was getting a little hot, and when the friend asked, " Do you know what ails him ? " the doctor said he thought he did. Then he pulled down the bed-clothes and pointed to a little swelltng near the little toe, and asked the friend if he could see it. "See it ! Of course I can. It's only a little pimple." The doctor said there was only one disease that showed that kind of pimples. "What is that? " asked the friend, impatiently. " Smallpox! " said the doctor, in the most aggravating way. " Suffering Moses! let me out of that door ! " shouted the friend, and the doc­ tor said you could have played marbles on his coat tail. The doctor fixed up the patient, and when he went out in the hall the friend was leaning against a trunk, white as a sheet and weak as a cat. "Doc.," says he, in a quivering voice, " that mau in there is nothing to me. I wouldn't go iu that room for a thousand dollars. Is there no way to fumigate me ? Say, Doc., I want to be vaccinated. Put a pint of virus into me. Shoot it in with a gun. Damned if I ever go near a sick man again." The doctor says " such is life."--Peck'* Sun. An AocJdent All Around. A most ridiculous scene occurred at a church in Newcastle. A policeman was passtng the church as a gentleman came out The man jokingly accosted the policeman and said he was wanted in­ side, meaning that the minister would be glad to have him turn from the error of his ways, and seek the truth and en­ joy a peace that passeth all understand­ ing. The stupid policeman thought there was some trouble in the church, sa he went in. The sexton, seeing a po­ liceman, was anxious to give him a favor­ able seat, so he said, " Come right in here," and he took him to a pew and waved his hand, as much as to say, " Help yourself." There was another man in the pew, a deacon with a sinister expression as the policeman thought, and he supposed that was the man they wanted arrested, so he tapped the dea­ con on the arm and told liim to come along. The deacon turned pale and edged along as though to get away, when the policeman took him by the collar and jerked liim out into the aisle. The deacon struggled, thinking the police­ man was crazy, and tried to get away, but he was dragged along. Many of the congregation thought the deacon had been deing something wrong, and some of them got behind the deacon and helped the officer fire him out. Arriving at the look-up, the policeman saw the man who told him he was wanted in the church, and asked him what the charge was against the deacon, and he didn't know, so the sexton was appealed to, and he didn't know, and finally the pris­ oner was asked what it was all about, and he didn't know. The policeman was asked what he arrested the man for, and he didn't know, and after awhile the matter was explained, and the police­ man, who had to arrest somebody, took the man into custody who told he was wanted in the church, and he was fined 96 and fosts. He says he will never try to convert a policeman again, and the policeman says he will never go to church again if they get to knocking each other down with hymn-books.-- Peck'« Sun. Ylolent Deaths Amoag Rulers. The violent deaths of rulers during the last thirty years form a startling list. They begin with the Duke of Parma, Ferdinand Charles III, who was mortally stabbed by an unknown man in March, 1854, dying a few days later. In April, 1865, President Lincoln was murdered by John W. Booth. In June, 1868, Prince Michael of Servia was assassin­ ated. In 1870, Gen. Prim, who occupied so controlling an influence in Spain that he may well be included in the list, was killed in Madrid. In 1872, the Governor General of India, Lord Mayo, was as­ sassinated. In 1871 Gen. Melgarijo, Dictator of Bolivia, and in 1872. Presi­ dent Balta of Peru were murdered; while the same fate, in August, 1875, befell President Moreno of Ecuador, at Quito. Shortly after, Prince Krapotkine, Gov­ ernor of Kharkoff, was assassinated in 1879, and now the Czar of Russia is added to the catalogue. Many more names, including those of England, France, Prussia, Austria, Spain, Ger­ many, Italy, Greece, Egypt and Japan, would have to be added, were the Tlnsuc- oessfnl attempts at assassination in the last thirty years to be also enumerated. PJSNSAOOIIA, with a population of 7,- 801, and a continual influx of strangers, enjoys an extensive trade. It is now one of the foremost ports of the country for export business. The chief export is timber, of which alone upward of 1,000,- 000 feet per day are loaded upon vessels of all descriptions and nationalities, but the bulk goes to Europe, of which En­ gland receives the largest share. This immense supply comes from Pensacola mills or from Millville, the greatest lum­ ber Bite in the South. Do HOT mit< yoar Mone? for every new rem edy advertised to cure a cougb, when you know that Dr. Ball's Cough Syrnp hia stood th« popular Uat for thirty yean. Frio* 25 THE RAILROAD TELLTALE. A Mnrhtne tlamt Records the DtsUnce Traveled, tlie Speed and Stops of Traiun. An ingenious machine, called the "telltale," is in use on the Erie rail­ road. It registers the speed of trains, when and where they stop, and how long. It is used especially for freight trains, and is fastened at either end of small cabooses, or at the side of large cabooses, about four and a half feet from the floor. It was adopted because freight trains frequently exceeded the prescribed rate of speed. They would run very fast for some distance, and then take things comfortably for a The machine works as follows : A screw is wound around one of the journals or axles of the caboose. A rod, which is turned by the screw as soon as the train is in motion, runs horizontally to the end or side of the caboose to point under the registering machine. To this rod a cogwheel is attached, working in another cogwheel, which turns a rod running perpendicularly, and ending in still an­ other cogwheel which turns a cylinder about four inches long and one inch in diameter. The number of cogs in each wheel varies, so that, when the train hs« traveled a mile, the cylinder has re­ volved only about one-quarter of an inch. A strip of paper about twenty-two^ inches long and tour inches in breadth passes over the cylinder. This paper is called the conductor's service report. Lengthwise it is divided by dotted lines into eighty-eight parts. Each of these parts, which represents a mile, is sub­ divided by green lines into four parts, each subdivision standing for a quarter of a mile. Breadthwise the strip is di­ vided into thirty parts by green lines. Each of these parts represents a minute. By means of clockwork a pencil moves across the paper and back again, taking thirty minutes to move across and thirty minutes to move back again. As soon as the journal or axle turns, the cylinder turns at the rate of a quarter inch for each mile, so that when » mile is trav- ! ersed the pencil has marked a line over the space between the dotted lines which represent a mile on the strip of paper. As the clockwork moves the pencil across the strip, the pencil has also passed over as many minute divisions as it has taken the car minutes to run a mile. If the train stops the cylinder stops. The line made by the pencil in the direction of the length of the paper is broken as long as the train stops, and the time of the interruption in travel is represented by the number of spaces the pencil moves across the strip before it resumes the lengthwise line. In order to ascertain the point where any irregularity occurred, the stations on the road are printed on or between the dotted lines at points corresponding to their distances from Jersey City. Bergen is two miles and a half from Jer­ sey City. Jersey City is printed at the beginning of the strip, and Bergen is printed two and a half spaces further on the length of the Btrip. When the train stops the cylinder stop, and the pencil line lengthwise is broken between the printed names Jersey City and Bergen. The cylinder and clockwork are in­ closed in an iron box, which is locked. When a train reaohes its destination the slip is removed and inspected.--New [From the New Albany Ledger-Standard.] SPEAKING of Governors, suggests the men­ tion of an item we received from Mr. Henry A. Knight, foreman at Chas. W«ter8& Co.'s Governor and Valve Works, Boston, Mass.: I have used St. Jacobs Ort among our cm- and find that it never tails to cure, lie men are delighted with the wonderful effects of the (Til, as it has cured them of bruises, burns, etc. Why Women Are Hot Popular. A Toledo gentlenput, spending the day in Detroit, went into a little eating house kept by two colored men to get a lunch before taking the home train. "A cup of tea and a plate of raw oys­ ters," was the order. "Don't have any tea, sah." "A glass of "beer, then." "Don't keep no beer. Dis yer Is a temperance house. Keeps nothing but ooffee, pop and cider." "If it's a temperance house why don't you keep tea?" "Well, you see, sah, dis yer's how it was. When we kept tea we had a lot o' die women sittin' round all detime, keep- in' bettah customers away." "Then tea didn't pay ?" "No, sah; dey cum an' set an' axed more questions than you could think of in a day. Did you know dat pusson an' de oder pusson. An' whar does Mr. So- and-So lib. An' hev yer been hvar long. An' was you evah a slave. Why, it takes more time to serve one old woman with a cup o' tea than it does to give a lunch to seven men." Here was a new insight into the lunch business, and the gentleman swallowed his cold bivalves and departed, satisfied that tea was not a profitable beverage for a temperance house.--Toledo Jour­ nal. [From the Elgin (111.) Daily Leader.] THE subjoined opinion, we pcrceive, is by J. A. Daniels, Esq., of Messrs. Stogdill & Daniels, attorneys. La Crosse, Wis , and ap- pears in tbe La Crosse Chronicle: Sonic time since, I was attacked with pain in and bplow one of my knee joints. A few appli­ cations of St. Jacobs Uil quieted the pain and relieved the inflammation. I regard it as a valuable medicine. The Sorrows of the Critic. Criticism is as impertinent in the world as it is in a drawing-room. In a kindly and well-bred company if anybody tries to please them they try to be pleased ; if anybody tries to astonish them they have the courtesy to be astonished; if people become tiresome they ask somebody else to play or sing, but they do not criticise. A bad critic is probably the most mis­ chievous person in the" world * * * and a good one the most helpless and nnliappy; the more he knows the less he is trusted, and it is too likely he may be­ come morose in his unacknowledged power. A good executant in any art gives pleasure to multitudes and breathes an atmosphere of praise, but a strong critic is every man's adversary; men feel that he knows their foibles, and cannot conceive that he knows more. His praise, to be acceptable, must be always unqualified ; and the heart of correction, which he has learned so laboriously, only fills his hearers with disgust.--Mr. Rut- kin'9 "Arrows of the Chaste." Profit, «l«!S©Oe MTo ram it up, six long yeazv of bedridden •Mmeaa, coating #300 par y«i*s total $1,200-- all of thi« expense was stopped by three bottles of Hop Bitters, taken by my wife. She has done her own honsework for a yearsiucc, without the loss of a day, and I w»nt weryfaody to know it, fnf timir benefit."--N. £. Farmer,, New York's Night Population. Attp^bps of theaters, minstrel halls' etc., 1,590; attaches of concert saloons, 1,000 ; omnibus drivers, say 250 ; con­ ductors and drivers, 1,800; ferries-- laborers, 200; hackmen (general night average), 200; hotel attaches (lowest night average), say 1,000; police, about 1,9C0; thieves, 3,000; gamblers, 5,000; courtesans, 15,000; vagrant lodgers, 609; physicians, 1,300; operatives, 4,000; sewing-women, 5,000 ; nurses, 400; rag-pickers, 500; bill-posters, 100; butchers, 2,500; bakers, 1,500; milk­ men, 500; restaurant keepers and em­ ployes, 15,000; firemen, about 600; morning press attaches, say 800; total, 63,66-4 (exclusiveof various classes); also exclusive of 3,009 ball-goers, 15,000 pa­ trons of theaters, 15,0(M) frequenters at saloons and other pleasure seekers. Gratffnl Wsnea. None receive so mnoh benefit, and none are so profoundly grateful and show snd* sa inter­ est in reooimmending Hop Bitters as women. It is the only remedy peeollarly adapted to the many ills the sex is almost universally subject t*. Chills and (ever, indigestion or deranged Kver, constant or periodical aksk headaches, in the back or kidneys, pain in the shoulders and different parts of the body, a feeling of lassitude and despondency, are an nadOy nmoveA by them Bitters.--OoMront. Take Me to Me Mat n "It is a great thing to see the spirit­ ual truth that all nature symbolizes," said she. ? "So it is," said he. "And yet enjoyment is daxfcened by a terrible shadow," said she. "Hay?" lie inquired. "A terrible shadow," she repeated, "that casts a depressing reflection upon the most exuberant soul." "Yes," he replied, "I've felt it when Fve been short on spare ribs." "On what?" she anxiously inquired. "On spare ribs." "But you should be philosophical-- you should imitate Pythagoras.' "Who was he?" "He was a philosopher, an anti-epi­ curean, but he did not go so far as the Stoics." "Where did they go?" asked the Board of Trade man; and gazing at him iu amazement, his wild Western way began to dawn Upon the oulchawed mind of the Boston girl, and she said: "Take me to me ma."--New York Commercial Advertiser. FairWanaiag from* BdiaUcWsrser Bon*t neglect your health when Warner's Safe KMney and liver Core will sorely pre­ serve it. - | A DUEL was fought in Texas by Alex­ ander Shott and John S. Nott Nott was shot, and Shott was not. In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott There was a rumor that Nott was not shot, and Shott avows that he shot Nott, which proves either that the shot shot Nott, or Nott was not shot, or that Nott was shot notwithstanding. Circumstan­ tial evidence is not always good. It may be made to appear on trial that the shot Shott shot shot Nott; or, as accidents with firearms are frequent, it may l»e possible, that tho shot Shott shot 'shot himself, when the whole affair resolves itself iuto its original elements, and Shott would be shot, and Nott would be not." We thiuk, however, that the shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but Nott; anyway, it is hard to tell who was shot EILEBT'S EOTUCT OF TAR AND WILD CIIERBY haa been nsed for twenty yearn, and during tbat time has saved many very valuable lives. Do not negleet a cough or eofd until it i« too late. Try thw excellent remedy, and we are sure you will be convinced of its merits. Chronic Cougbs, and even Consumptives, are cured by following the directions. Every bottle is war­ ranted to give satisfaction. Prepared by the Emmert Proprietary OOL, Chicago. Sold by all good druggists. Wat* you ooate across a weary-looking, wan- eyed man or woman who, being asked what is tue matter, places & hand upon the stomach region and saye, " Oh. I feel such a wearv sink­ ing and'goneness' here f rely upen it, that person mast either be rescued or shortlv die. It is a case of general debility and "breaking- down," beginning at the i>toniaeh, and the proper treatment is I)a. HQIJSAN'S LIVEE AND STOMACH PAD. Foa DYsrasiA, tndigestioik depression of spirits and general debility m their various forms, also as a preventive against fever and ague and other intermittent fevers, the Fsaao PHOSPHORATED ELIXIR OF CALMAVA BABK, made by Caaweii, Uaaard & Oo., Hew York, and sold by all druggists, ia the best tonic, and for pa­ tients recovering from fever or other sickness ii h&e no equel- UXCLB SAK'B CONDITION POWDERS are reo- ommended by stock-owners who have used them as the (test Horse and Cattte Medicine to be had. If the animal in Hcraggv, Bpiritlesn, or has no appetite, these Powders are an < xcel- lent remedy, and every owner of stock will do weli to try them. They are prepared by tbe Emmert Proprietary Co., Chicago, 111., a very reliable firm, and sold by all good druggists. EVKRYBOD* in pleased with the improved Car- boline, a deodorized extract of petroleum. It is as clear and limpid as spring water, and was originally intended by nature as a panace* for all diseases of the scalp and skin, ana ss a natu­ ral hair renower. ROSENTHAL BROS. , Chicago, makejhe diamond boots and shoes, the beat made. Try tiiem. KKM'ITEL) FROM DEATI1. WlHIam J.Coughtin.of Somerr.Ue, Mam., ujn: in the fall cf 1K6 I was taken with bleeding of tue longs, fol­ lowed by a ecvcie cough. I lost my appetite and flesh, an 1 <raa confined to my bed. In 1877 I «• admitted to the hoap tai. Thodocton aald I had a hole in my lnn«a« big aa a half doliar. At ono time a report went around that I was dead. I trave up hope, but a friend told me of DB. WILLIAM HALL'S BALSAM FOK TBE LUNGS. I got a bottle, when, to my anrprise, 1 commenced to feel bet­ ter, and to-dny I feel better than for three years past. I write this hopinx every one aflxted w.th diseased longs will take 1)B. WILLIAM HALL'S BALSAM, and be con­ vinced that CONSUMPTION CAS BE CUUEU. I can posi­tively say it h is done muie givid than aU the other medi­ cines I h&ve token *IIK e mi sickness. COUGH $66 a week in your own town. Terms and §5 outftt free. Addrau 11. llAlXKrr a Co., Portland, Me. SAQQ a year to Amrnta and expends. S« Ootftt ft^e. AddzesaF. SWAIN at i. AAA per day at home. Sample* worth (S free 90 10 WCU Address STINSON A Co., Portland, Ma ^ 110 Kr Consumption is alas s IOlwr 9 till Cthsbestoonghmedicine. tflO AWIEK. $12 a day at home easily made. CoatJy W I «• outfit free. Address TKUB A Co., Augusta, Me. $10 A DAY. How to make it. FOMETH1XG KEW for A<«ENTSt. COE A YONGE, St. Looia. Mo. 105 Cards, 10o. G.W. BOCEM8DB8, New Haven,Ct. CJCARC'E CJOODH.--Books, Phofos. Ac. Sample [j Catalogue, 3c. PARIS BOOK CO., Chicago, 111. 50 RRIKOMO T'ARIIN for collections. LO crate. N. Y. Pictorial Printing 6o„ i 1 Spruce St . N. Y. K1APRIED 5.™? S i postal to Hygienic ZiiMiMt, Kuflaio, N.Y. ALESMEN wanted toned on cnmmissSoti. Rend stamp iorterms,quick. PHKENIX PUB.OO., Wanren, Ps. AK¥I. **n PAKMS. to Mi per Aor* Short visiters, breezy sum mere, healthy climate. fmu, H. P.CHAMBERS FedenklmK.MD. MAs£ol Ottalogo© YOttfil hag nfllcas. Address TmwaiBio«,J»Mwllla,Wi $350 KB S per st. N A MO^rriX $ Asents Waatsi I *S BeeWSeHtejr ArtJcSTte tte woriduksua! pie AMI JAY BROSgON. Detroit, task. WANTKII tor tbd wsd _ Pictond Books and Bihfes. Price# Mdaoed per st. NATXOKAL PDBUCK»« CO.. Chisago, M SMI IM MM A VKAK aa 7 7 7 vhus®.1 Garfield's Physical S A man came over from purchase several of the General's 1 had spent several hours in admiring Grant's stable of fine horses, and was determined not to allow Garfield's cattle to suffer, so I went out to the barnyard also. " Do yoa see that big spotted cow V said one of the farm hands. "Well, three years ago the General had a time with her. Two or three of us tried to milk her ; but she raised particular Ned and would not allow us to come near. The General heard of the affair and came out into the barnyard, and, going up to the heifer, caught her by the nooe, and by main strength held her until we had finished milking," " Gen. Garfield must be a powerful man," said I. " Well, you just bet your life he is," answered the hired man. •* Why, four years ago, he thought, one morning, he would like to plow a little for exercise. So he went out to the field and started in. The ground was w«t, which made the walking very bad ; but he kept at it until noon, and after dinner went to work again. He became so interested in thinking up a speech, or something else, that he kept on until after dark ; and, when he finally quit, the team wae nearly played out, but he was as fresh as a boy. Ho felt awful bad about Working the horses so hard. He is very easy on his horses; but, when he is in a buggy, he wants them to go, and they can't go too fast, either."--Cor. Cleve­ land Leader. Col*. MCSFIX&KINS, who holds a high rank in a Galveston military organiza­ tion, was aroused a few nights ago by the sound as of burglars in the house. He instantly seized a shot-gun, and, oocking both barrels, called out in thunder tones: "Halt! Who goes there?" "Don't be scared, papa; I won't do nuf- fln to YOU, I want a dwink," piped an infantile voice.--Galveston News. RHEUMATISM, Meitrttfgia. Sciatica, Lumbc ̂ W Backachc, Sorcncu cf the (tout, Quitutj, Sore Throat, i ing* and Sprains, Same ani \ Seaidt, Genera! Bcdiiy j PaiM, ' Taaik, £ar and Meadachc, Fm *Fcci and Earc, and all atimp -.•V Paine and Mohan. iw, ,' PiMMratlM oa earth sqvals Sr. IMM « a *a/V, »ure, rtmvpla and «Maj» Sstsnat Bemedy. A trial eatafla but the cowymttvaly trifling outlay of M Ceats, and every one with pain can have ck«ep asd partliTO pmt «C claims. ~ - T i r h i i T s s i i m m BOLD BY ILL DXUOQISTf AX»: Of KEDICSVE. LVOOELEBAOO. UAI 111 I Ui I Young men and ladle* tickled! "Old IM S Hs I IM1 Bon and Giii" delighted t Roan et laughter! Heaps of fun! Send 10 cents for sample. Address P. O. Box RiTef***- Cook Garmtj, Illinois WANTED launediately.youn*.. to learn Telegraphy. Written goarantm gl?ea tot nraish good attentions. AddrVs.wilh stamp, Oberlin Tttyt* Co .Obrrlin, 0. HUNTIIG-CASE WATCHES I2.W eaofc. Every Watch H'arrnnted. Ad-Itess TH()8. K. GOOfrROE. Station 11, N. Y. City. KiDDERg Mmiajss&SSS: jl'harleatown, Mass. II Mil I Ik F0S7B& ft 00^ oi E MPI flVMPIIT I'OCAI, or Travells*. Iflr LUlmCli I stntr wtiirb preferred. Also SAI.AKY per month. All K\I'KiNNEM ndvancetl. WR*»»Hpromptly pnt«t. NUIAN & CO., 306<»eorge St., I'iuclunati, O. JUDGE | fetdii)p$, with . yiiu *ill f*y --FOL: -- YOURSELF ' «f»n<iinx 3dc. money or p«N<hy« rvlirrtt m*il a cmrect picture <•* your luitire tiush.'tnrf or wife. ui:U n.iuie amld&teo; m.irrUut*. • WA 1«U\. H* NY PrrfMAltfrSEStSrerMt •paatah 8«c* aad Wtsar4 win to* *) Mali vfefe Mftt, «ator af •?«, and laek hate, a «•**•«*! rtcrv&g your fmura huiha&d «r wife, witfe atat, time and piate a# emtiaf, ui •Ms «£ s&rriaf*. raterawt to &R nst e&iiaftad. . Xutian. 10 ihmt'f PI. Iwtea, I A CHI NTS WANTED QUICK tosellths REVISED IEW TESTAMENT Vewrstuly for Ageata. JTerf dtimhi* edUian. Lsw srlwt MUllon* an waiting (or It. Grand iorrul n iSEKTS WANTED FOB BIBLE REVISION The best and cheapest illustrated edition of the Re neotT. MiUtons of people ate waiting for wetted by tue Cheap John publishers of Inferior editions. See that the oopy you bay contains vised New Testament. it. Do not be 150 fine engraving* on steel sndT wood. A«enta srt oolninn money saUta^t tbia editLon. Serut fo- circular^ Addr ATIONAL PUBLISHING CO. Chicago, III. THE MANNY BAUER MF6. CO., *T. liOtn. MO. Horizontal and Vertical Cane Milla, Cook's Krapomtois Improved. Sulky Hay Rakse, Wagons,etc. SKKDOPEABLV \MBER AND KAHLY ORAWW SUOABOANK, warranted fresh snd pore, to plant one acre, by frel TO FARMERS AND THRESHERMEN. If want to Thre»her?;, Closer SSorM-Futrtrs or Engirt $ (either Portable or Traction, tit usss sor threshing, sawing or for general puruosos). buy th**"Star¥@a Roos* Ifr" floods. "The ftr*t are the i'heapeet." For Price-List and 11 ta?trated Pnmphleie (sent tree) writ© to THE AIXTMAN & TAYLOB COMPANY, Man*feld»0. If* lr O v* it the SAFEST nnd BEST;itacta naUnta-neously.producing the mot t n turul 8hadt>» of Black or Brown ; NOT STAIN iho NK IN, and ia ea»i)y ap f DlOTAWl&AJQt^d It is a standard pr»>p-l 11191 HUUlCv O.iraUon. and a i.-iionU <>n Mvery weM->»pp'»:nt«Hl toi'et for I«ndyor(jcntlemun. Sold by Druggists und (ipplunl by Hakr-I>ro»*eis. D^jKit. ilsl William St., New York. CjS, CRITTKNTON, Agt. For C 1X111M and B*ev©r ANO ALL DISEASES Cass»< ky Malarial P»taoulua oT the llnA • WARRANTED CUBE. E*rIoe, ££ 1 .OO. For sale by all DrngglaCa. FRAZER AXLE GREASE. BM In tks Wsrld. (<•«« Ik* Ev. ery eaekagc ha* sssr Trude-mnrk anal Is bed FrasWi. MOLD KVBKVWUKItB. •II! The largest variety of standard, staple? Hoa&alioM FVKXITt'BK for the humblest cottage or the finest mansion, ex: ., exhibited in Chicago, sold at lowest pos­sible prtoee consistent with quality of Hoods. Ail goods guaranteed. (VSend for Illustrated Catalogue. WIRTS & SOHOLLE, 222 WABA8H AVE., CHICAGO, ILL. DR. WH CONSUMPTION CAN 0E CURED! HALL'S KBALSAM Onrcs CooKUinptinn, Cold*. Pncumouiu, I«-fluenxa, Ili'oiirhltil niQirultii'M, Bronchilin. HonrKeut'MX, AMtimn, Croup. H'hoe»iui! Couch, unit all IliacuTH al" lite IIrt-Rlliiitk OncHDB. It aoethrn nmi brills the Mrirtraiii' •f the fjMnini, inflamed nn«t paieanen by tnr iwasr, ana prevent* thr night sweats anil V. NICHOLS. SHEPARD & TO Btttto Crwk, NHohifUi, VIBRATOR THMSMIM, Traction nd Plain twglt and Horse-Powers. TRACTION ssrv Lay the Axe V . to the Pool If yon w( kenngwe nalpam,! would destroy the caft» : worm. For any exter- j sore, wound orlin» ness of man orJtoast, use ontar MEXICAN MUSTANG llNl- MENT, It penetrates all mm* de and flesn to the very bono* expelling all InflammatiOB* •orenessand pain, and healing the diseased part m no other Liniment ever did or can. • 8# •aith the experience of two generations of sufferers, Mi •o will yon say when; tried tho MEDETUR! PEARLS OF STRENGTH AID SPECIFIC CURE for M aM Hems Headac&e, liwia asi Udiistira, Lb oT Knar, Ytfe irtlBfflliir PHT8ICAX. DEBILITY «atl her diseases of like character yield to this most potent of remedies. In all forms of debility or lassitude those pearls are positively necessary, aa they supply brain power, repair waste, ana revive the entire system. Pamphlets free, $1 per box; Obese* ee for 85.00. Sent by mail prepaid. WESTERN AGENTS, Van Schaack, Steveosm & Ca, kM §3 - 92 £94 k * < O I*, o. No. ia WBEN WRlTISfU TO ADVEICTISI .• t,"'1'"® Mtw Iks aivsttisri la ihio pujier. "Dr. Sykes'Sure for Catarrh* „Bd u ATHOWIIKRIC INSOTFKaATMfc** M* fMI ne»¥*ta<l«a4ataa All Mfcf* plans »f treatment, and that Catarrh In lust iu wwMa HI ~ Send ten crais l» Ike Saclw tor Mm Ba«k> Bt i* wall Wttfl i cateit. Send ten cents t» tM Mctar far al« Waal, at t* wail tmrai l* explain* Vnllr Ma jrtaa ®£ twfwt, which to «» law|iiilw within tha raara af au» Pleaw call aa ar aiiiw DR. SYKES,