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cora* nwi I My Vasinra on the Jwry's done--the qnfbhMw' is all through-- I've watched the lawysn right MM left, and given my verdict true; 1 stock no long unto mfttelr, I thought X would crow in: Aad il I <lo not know myself, they'll get mtkcr* ag'in; But BOW the court's adjourned, for food, and Tva got my i*y, I'm kmee lit tut, and, thank the Lord, Fa fling home to-day. | I've somehow felt uneasy like, since the first day I i came down; • I It Is an awkward game to play the gtntleman in ' town; And (hi* 'ere Sunday suit of mine on Sunday rightly | i-ts; I But wiien I wear the stuff a week, it somehow galls j •ud fret*. i I'd father wear my homespun rig of pepper salt and gray-- I'll have it oft in half a jiff when I get home to-day. 1 have no doubt my wife looked out. aa veil aa any one-- As well a» any woman could--tosee thattttna wve done; Far though Melinda, when I'm there, won't set ho foot outdoors. She's v«ry careful, when I'm gone, to tend to all the chores, But nothing prospers half ao well when I go off to Eta v, And I will put things into shape, when I get home to-day. v The mornin' that I came away, we had a little bout; I coolly took my hat and coat, before the show waa out. For what I said waa nought whereat she ought to take offense; ' And she was always quick at worda and ready to commence. But then Mie s first one to give up when she has had iii-i B:iy; And she will meet me with a when 1 go home -to-day. My little boy--ri! give 'em leave to match him, if they can; » It's fun to see him strut about, and try to hea man; The gamest, cheeriest, little chap you'll ever want to see! And then they laugh, because 1 think the child re­ sembles rae. 'The little rojitue! he goes for me, like robbers for their prey; He'll turu my pockets inside out, when I get home to-day. My little girl--I can't contrive how it should happen thus -- That God should pick that sweet bouquet and fling it dowu to us! My wife, she says that handsome face will some day »nake a stir: And then I laugh, because she thinks the child re­ sembles her. She'll meet me half way down the hill, and kiss me any way; And li^ht my heart up with her smiles, when I go houte to-day. If there's* heaven upon the earth, a fellow knows it when He?s been away from home a week, and then gets home actia; If there's a heaven above the earth, there often, I'll be bound, Some iioiiiosiek fellow meets his folks, and hugs 'em nil around. But let my cieed be wrlght or wrong, or be it as it may, XyiHstven'e jstt ahead of me--I'm going home to­ day. -- WiU Oarbton, fa "farm Ballad*." THE CONDUCTOR'S STORY. AM INMM or BlDWKliL'l «M. i./ [Argonaut.] I think it is Emerson who says: "When you pay your ticket and get into the car you have no guess what good •company you shall find there. You Uuy much that is not rendered iu the bill. 1 have found this remark eminently true on several occasions, particularly when my life-long friend liath bears me ^company. Bath is the most onconventioimi of women. She travelB «s she does every thing «else, with whole-souled earnest­ ness, and finds bread where most people could .gather only stones. Thus, recent­ ly, being in the ieaa' ear of the long train, she preferred standing upon the platform and drinking iu at one draught that magnificent valley through which we seemed flying than by . tantalizing sips, as one has to do from behind a narrow car window. I followed her. I always do. And, holding on to the narrow railing, we felt somewhat like two lost comets whirl­ ing through spaoe. Soon the door be­ hind us banged, and a gentleman in the midsummer of life, with a face as classi­ cally beautiful as Edwiu Booth's and a waist of Falstuffiim dimensions, joined us. He beamed on ms almost literally. From the dimple in his fair, soft chin to the Hng of brown, silky hair which lay upon his broad, smooth forehead, the expression scintillated with intelligent good nature. Withal, there was such a retrospective background to the sunny * brightness that after a few common­ places Ruth, the .daring, honest, impu­ dent creature, said, looking up mean­ while into his face with a smile so honest and kindly that he would) have been a Berserker not to liave rejected it: "Sir, permit me to remark that you are a physical incongruity." "Not so bad as that, madame, I hope. I am merely a conductor, as by this time you have discovered, and a pretty well balanced oue, independent of avoirdupois." "But your thoughtful face, «ir, that is what perplexes me. It should belong to a body but one-third the weight of yours," suggested Ruth, the wise disci­ ple of iLavater. "My face is all sight," he replied, stroking his cheeks and chin with an air of marvelous self-complacency. "It stopped growing ten years ago, but it is here," touching the region of his dia­ phragm with the tip of his forefinger, "that contentment and my good hack •show themselves. Once I was as thin as Peter Schemmel's shadow, and"--he paused, looking into Ruth's clear, gray •eyes as if he would sound her soul's •depths--"I am strongly tempted to tell you my bit of a romance, for there is a iong stretch ahead, and you look like one •of the kind to enjoy a touch of nature. Isn't it so?" The conductor had struck the very key- mote of our needs. We were pining for a veritable California story, told in an un­ conventional way, outside of the well- read romances of Bret Harte aud The Argonaut. To be told, too, under such peculiar circumstances would be an ad- dad spice, and thus besought him to im- mediatly yield to temptation. "I ;am an old 6tager," die said, "at least as far back as the spring of 1650. With a blanket strapped upon my back, fifty cents in my pants' pocket and the biggest stock of liope and unused ener­ gy that ever ma&t a lad's hecct as light as « balloon, I tramped along here in my search for the 'gold diggings.' My ambition was higher than those buttes fonder by thousands of feet, at»fi the top was to he capped by solid gold,' point­ ing as lie «poke to tSce three singular and isolated peaks we were just then passing, knowu as the Marywrille Buttes, whose volcauie heights looked as inaccessible to us as tliedr peaks seemed brown and bar­ ren. "It appean to me," «*id Ruth, meas­ uring tlie most precipitous sides of tltoce lofty and mysterious liilk, "that when it man aspire* to touch the sky he would want a higher guerdon than mere gold, •not, however, that I hold the metal iu contempt" "I had, madams, and that was the •bole matter. I was desperately in jo**5--that was a solemn fact, expressed in as few words as possible--and I be­ lieve that she loved we, but the top of Mt. Shasta waa not more unattainable to me than Jennie. H«* father, au old Philadelphia druggist, had money, sud I had none. He was HS proud as Luci­ fer, and as ambitious for his difighter an he was proud. I felt that I cool.! 'move a mountain,' if I oould fiud. a moi'nt 'iu to move; so Jennie and I said good-bye one afternoon under an old oak in fair-, mount Park, and in £he very depths of my heart I believed that she would be true to me. It was not a se­ vere seven days' ride in a palace car from New York to San Francisco in those days, aud the tall, slender, hungry, penniless lad who tramped aloug here twenty-nine years ago, seeking his for­ tune like another Dick Whittington, was a weary and homesick one as well." "By 'here,' which you have twice used, do you mean this veritable Valley of the Sacramento?" said Ruth. "The very same. My objective point was a place now famous in the annals of that period, called 4 Bid well's Bar,' on account of a rich bar iu the Feather River, full of golden sand, which was discovered by General BidwelL The place was many miles from me; the country was thinly settled; I did not know a soul (for even tramps were scarce iu those early days), and so my courage and my legs gave out together. Pulling off my boots about 5 o'clock one sultry day, I bared my blistered. feet to the cool evening breeze, and, creeping into a clump of young manzauitas, fell asleep, hoping that I would never awake again this side of the stars. I did, how­ ever, conscious that my toes were being licked in a gentle fashion, and discovered that it was being done by a brown setter dog, alxrat as hungry-looking and^gener- aliy dilapidated as I was myself. "Where he came from I never knew, but, looking into his half-human eyes, we speedily entered into a sort of dumb compact to trudge ou together. I found that the poor fellow (I never could call him a brute) had a sqre knee, inflamed and bleeding. I tore a strip oflMrom my last handkerchief to bind it up, aud, in place of the Good Samaritan's oil and wine, gave him my last scrap of cold bacon. It is strange, but forlorn as 1 was in those days, I recall them wiVi a tender pleasure almost unaccountable. If I had been raised a Brahmin I would have believed that some immortal spirit of unfailing cheerfulness and unending resources was imprisoned in that dog's body. Did you ever read the fairy le­ gend of the 'White Cat,' who, after she had persuaded the young Prince, her lover, to cut off her head and tail and throw them in the fire, suddenly stood before him a woman, as fair as Aurora. Fritz, for that was the name by which I called the dog, looked at me with Jennie's brown eyes, half roguish, half thoughtful, and to­ gether we resumed onr journey. Nor would I have followed in the wake of the young Prince, even had I known the re­ sult would have been similar, for Fritz, the dog, was invaluable just as he was. AU lonesomeness was gone now that he rarely left my side, and, although our shadows had grown less by the time we reached the 'bar,' onr immaterial entities were in prime order for everything in the slmjje of adventure. 'Have never seen any gold dug.' Then I'll not at this late day spoil your first impressions of a min­ er's camp by describing mine as I ap­ proached Bidwell's Bar. I may say, though, that one might have supposed an earthquake or tornado had been there, tearing up the hundreds of thousands of cubie feet that had been moved and re­ moved by mortal hands in their frantic and persistent search for gold. "The 'bar' was a world in miniature. Almost every nationality was there repre­ sented, and almost every feature of hu­ man kind but humanity. Armed with a pick, pan and shovel, I, like hundreds of others, began to dig and burrow and wash dirt. But my labor and its results would not balance, for somehow my lit­ tle leather bag of gold dust got no heavier, toil as I would. Wages being good, I stopped digging and hired my­ self as a camp-scullion. I did every kmd of jobbing within the range of a miuer's wants. Washing dirty flannel shirts and cottons overalls, patching leather trou­ sers and cooking flapjacks is not the most dignified and flower-strewn path to fortune, you must know; and to a boy whose ideas of chivalry, independence and deeds of knightly valor were purely and intensely Byronie, such a fate you must acknowledge, was a sort of poetic injustice. My aim, though, was to earn enough money with which to buy a cer­ tain claim of which I knew, and that I had, in advance, labeled 'Bonanza.' "I might have succeeded, but I was prostrated by a malarial fever, and for days and weeks lay unconscious at the tender mercies of a few rough Welsh miners with human hearts. My little hoard of money and pay energy melted away together like spring snow. But for Fritz I'd have died of disappointment alone. He had adopted the 'Never say die' motto, and as I often read iu his glorious eyes the sentence, 'You great coward! At him agaiu?' as a tender and appreciative sympathy which the gift of speech ooold not have made more assur­ ing. My nurses had pitched me a tent on the south side of a low hill, and had left me to get well at my own leisure. Mv 'bottom dollar' had dwindled to the va'lne of a dime, my legs to thickness of a pair of tongs (for all appetite was gone,) and one evening hope failed me. Believing I was going to die, I resolved to do the fair thing by Jennie, apprise her of the event and advise her <> forget me. By the flickering light of a bit of tallow candle I began the letter, the first I had written for months. I thought aloud and wrote. Fritz lay beside me, Ills nose wedged between his paws, but I knew bv the twitch of his ears that he understood every word I was writ­ ing. "I had reached the climax of renun­ ciation and wretchedness--or, rather, mv expression of it--when he suddenly rose and went out. I soon heard him paw ing and scratching and tearing the earth about six feet from me, as though he were under -contract to dig^ a tunnel •to China before daylight. Thinking he iiad found the burrow of a wolf or fox, I called him off; but he was as deaf as a nock to my voice. Seizing the candle, I hurried to the spot, around which lay a half bushel of gravel which he had loos­ ened, when my eye caught the gleam of a dull, red streak that veined a piece of quartz about the size of an egg lying among the fresh earth. Would you be­ lieve it? That streak was worth $50, for it was virgin gold. Nor was it the only one «j>on that hillside. Fritz had found a lode (thanks to the gopher), and I thereljjr had found a fortune. As soon as passible I had the gold of that previous stone wrought into a ring of my own designing--all of it, at least, but the contents of one blunt corner, which, sat its native roughness, I had mounted as a brooch. Sending these to Jennie, I--** "An act of great generosity, sir, I think," interrupted Ruth with a laughing glint in her eye. "One would have thought you'd have preserved such a piece of rare good fortune as a memorial and stone." "You anticipate me, madam. It was as a memorial that I sent my first bit of treasure, but I expected to get it back again witliiu two years, and the girl with it." "And did you?" "No: i:or even received o line of ac- kocwledgemwut that my offer had been awj/ea Nothing finds gold quicker than gold, when a man has once got a fair share of it, and in two years I had, iu various ways, secured $20,000. In­ vesting it, as i thought, safely, I returned to Philadelphia in all the pride of a con­ quering hero. Mytstorv ought to end here; to wind tip with the chime of wed­ ding bells and a 'beautiful Rachel' as my reward for faithful serviug; but I had scarcely arrived when I heard, incident­ ally, that Jennie had gone with her father to Europe,, nor left no sign that she ever remembered me." "You certainly did not let that fact dampen the ardor erf your pursuit?" queried Ruth; "you followed her, erf course." "I did no such thing, madam.. I re­ turned to San Francisco, and plunged into the excitement of gold huntiug with a recklessuesss that a woman can not understand. Six months after and I lost every dollar, but by that time I had learned that experience is worth nothing as solid capital until it has been dearly bought. I whistled my rhyme: "Loss and gain, pleasure and pain. Balance the see-saw of life, in the sensitive ears of my faithful Fritz, his brown head close to my shoulder--don't laugh, that dog was my friend--rolled up my sleeves, and again went to woik with a vigor that I knew meant certain success if the vein held out. It did, aud five years afterward I had a bank account which ran largely into the thousands. I invested it in land. By that time I was a bachelor of thirty. Hard knocks and my one big disappointment had shaken all the romance out ot me, and when I agaiu went East it was on business connected with the construction of this railroad:" "And you have quite outlived your boyish fancy, as heart began to lose its youth?" said Ruth, with the least bit of cynicism in her tone. "I think Fritz knew," said the con­ ductor quietly. "I had become almost misanthrope for his sake. If I left him to go into society--such as we had--for 4 few hours, he either whined like a sick child or kept up such an increasing barking aud bayiug that to save him be­ ing shot as a nuisance I went to no place where it was impossible for him to ac­ company me. The old fellow went with me even to New York, and on the journey I often caught myself cogitating how he-- born iu a wilderness of wild mustard, and as fond of camp-life as an Indian-- would take to the constraint of au old city. Well, I had not been in New York a week before there was a strong tugging at my heart to run down to Philadelphia. Not that it was home for me, for my parents had died before I first left it. I called the desire 'the charm of associa­ tion,' and it led me. "There, as I went down Arch street, my poor dog lost his wits and the sober dignity of his maturity. He had a re­ markably fine scent. I always knew that; but no sooner had we turned into that particular street than, with nose close to the ground and rigid tail, he ran zig-zag to and fro, as though he was on the trail of an erratic fox. I called him. but he gave no heed. People got out of his way. The gramins shouted, and, with a wild, shrill bark, he suddenly bounded into the door-way of a large dry-goods store. I bounded after him in time to s,>e him rush up to a lady in black, who was examining some gloves, and danced around her with signs of the most extravagant joy. There are tones that live without the aid of photographs. 'Roy! Roy! Dear old Rov,'was all she said, but I'd have sworn the voice was Jennie's if Iliad heard it on the summit of Mount Blanc. .. A white hand was laid upon his head and my ring was on the hand." He paused. "Yours? Sir, I hope yon did fw* claim it," said the practical oollocu- tor. "I did, and the hand which wore it, just as I originally intended." Nor did Alexander, in his hours of conquest, ever smile a more serene approval of himself than our couductor at this sta&e of the stocy. "But, the conduct of Fritz, and the lady's silence, and all the queer concom­ itants which exist only in fiction--how do you reconcile them with an ow'r true tale?" said Ruth, the truth loving. "Fritz was Roy, the Roy who had often been caressed by Jennie before his young master, Jennie's cousin, got the gold fever, when I did, and came to California, never to return. Jennie had written, but her letters had never readied me. She thought me dead. Why the dog came to me, when his master died, is one among the riddles of my life which I will disentangle iu the here­ after. "And to-day where is she ?" He stood waiting for tile answer. "On our ranch near Sacramento, and I believe one of the happiest women in the State. We have a boy ten years old, whose name is Fritz, and all the dearer for the sake of the old friend who has gone where I hope oue day to meet the human of him. I wish you could stop off a bit and see my wife. Queer, isn't it that I should have introduced this bit of private history upon you ? But the truth is--. Yes--coming! I'll be with you again; ladies." A brakeman l>eckoned him inside, aud we had seen the last of our handsome conductor. The evening shadows bad begun to lengthen. The setting sun had turned the vast plain of the Sacramento Valley into a "field of the cloth of gold," and the dis­ tant peaks of the Sierras, clad iu eternal snows, but now rose-tinted and glowing, seemed to . cleave the azure alwve them as with a wedge of burnished silver. It was starlight when we reached the end of our car-ride and were registered for the night. "The conductor's story was a pleasant little episode, Ruth, wasn't it ? Do you believe it all happened ?" I asked, as I leaned from my pillow to her s to leave a good-night kiss on her round cheek. "I like Fritz," was the sleepy answer. "There's an instinct about some dogs that the half of mankind can neither appreciate nor maintain. I trust a man whom a good dog loves." Did not Understand Journalism. I recollect sitting at a table in London beside the editor of a leading journal: He said: " I am in distress; I have lost one of my regular writers." I did not know about journalism at the time, so I remarked: "I suppose you will have to get another." He replied: "Get another! I will have to get three, and I will be surprised if at the end of a year one of these three writers does as well as the writer I have lost"--Ooldwin Smith. Ug Son't Waal thai Stuff I" Is what a Mv of Boston esid to her husband when he brought home sonie medicine to cure her of sick iMJidache and neuralgia which had made her miserable for fourteen years. At the Hrat attack thereafter it was administered to Iwr with such good results Ihaf she eoutiuued itrf une until enrod. snd wao no £iithu>;ianUc in iU praise that she induced tw»'Dtj-two ol tlio beet families in Uer circle to ndayt it aa their regular family medicine. That *'MUiff is Hop Bitters.--tilatidard. No SHIP, it is said, that lias cacried the name ot Jaeger, ever made a second voyage. Why should Jasper be such A hard load to carry? FEEUN« JHE EARTH MOVE. AtMSBt •TRow CarlmltlM *r Mae Wla4 l>J a Killfewphpr o«t tbe Bu*C flfvw York SUK.1 "Would you like to feel the motion of the earth whirling on its axis just as you feel the motion of a buggy by the air driven against your face?"' The man who asked thin singular question looked both saue and serious. As he spoke he touched with his linger a small globe, which, with the slight impulse thus communicated, began to revolve smoothly and swiftly within a brass ring and a broad wooden zone, on which were pictured the odd-looking figures that represent the twelve sigus of the zodiac. The green painted oceans and the variously tinted continents on the little globe blended into a confused jumble of color witii the motion. Europe and America, the Atlantic and the Pacific lost their outlines. Greenland made a dark circle about the pole lifc« a streak on a boy's top. "You kuow the earth is whirling like that--many times faster than that," said the philosopher, "and if the atmosphere did not partake of the same motion there would be a constant hurricane blowing at the rate of a thousand miles an hour. Most persons. accept the explanation that the atmosphere revolves as fast as the solid ground without inquiring any furtner, aud so they lose sight of one ol' the most startling facts in nature. Just step up here." The reporter followed the philosopher to the flat roof of the house. "Don't you feel that?" asked the phil­ osopher, putting his hand to his cheek. "I feel a wind from tha northeast," replied the reporter. . "Well, that's it, then," said the phil­ osopher. "As the surface of the earth revolves eastward, it meets a current of air flowing from the nOrth, which has not yet acquired a velocity of rotation equjd to that of the ground it passes over. So objects on the earth are driven by the earth's motion through air that is moviug more slowly to the eastward than they are. The result is that the wind which started to blow from the poles toward the equator, instead of moving straight from north to south ap­ pears to come from the northeast. The reason of this will be plain the minute you look at a revolving globe. You Bee that close to the poles the revolution of the surface is very much slower than at the equator, just as a point on the hub of a wheel moves more slowly than a point on the tire. "You must nofc| however, suppose that every wind from the northeast is the re­ sult of this curious law. In fact, in this latitude it is very difficult to say when the true wind of revolution, if I may so speak of it, is felt, because there are so many local causes that govern the direc­ tion of the wind. Nevertheless, when­ ever a current of air starts from the far north toward the equator, this phenome­ non will be experienced1 in all the places it passes over, although it is very often obscured by the changes of direction caused by ranges of mountains, great valleys and local temperatures. But the curious fact remains that we can feel in the wind the whirling of our globe about its axes. In the tropics this phenome­ non manifests itself perfectly in the fa­ mous trade winds. In fact the west and southwest winds that prevail here a large part of the year are the returning trade wiuds. Iu this case the air, moving from the equator, where the revolution is fastest toward the poles where it is slowest, has. as it advances, a westward motion greater than that of the surface over which it passes. So marked is the prevalence of this wind that sailors call it 'down hill' from toe to England on account of .the efcsy sailing with the wind. So, you see. that, although the winds alone would never enable us to detect the fact that the earth revolves, yet now that the fact is known, we see in them one erf its most striking re­ sults." FKLL AGAINST A KHAKI* EMB. [From the ltockford <111.) llcgleter.) This is furnished by Mr. Win. Will, 1613 Franklord Ave., Philadelphia, Pa.: Some time since I received a severe injuiy to my Imck, hy falling against the sharp edge of a marble step, the stone penetrating it least a half-inch, and leaving a very painful wound. Alter suilVring ior a time, I con- eluded to apply St Jacobs Oil, and «m pleased to say that the results exceeded my expectations. It s)>eedily allayed all pain and swelling, nn(l hy continued use made a jierfect cure. 1 really think it the most effi­ cacious liniment I ever used. That little dudrT" "Going! going!" cried one of our well kuown auction el's, the other day, while the attendant crowd seemed little inter­ ested in the. proposed sale. And, indeed there was not much iu the appearance of the object offered that was apt to bring out any bidders. . It was only a child's ehair--the carpet seat stained, the woodwork battered here aud there, a mere wreck--but to one poor unfortuuate, at least, it brought a vision of golden curls, of dimpled hands, •of laughing blue eyes, that joy that •merry childhood tlqsows about. "Third and last call;" and the uplifted arm was about to fall, when the auction­ eer's searching glance chanced on a dilapitated being who was almost as great a wreck as the chair itself. "Fifteen, sir? Gone!" and without more ado the knight of the hammer passed on to other things. With an unsteady step the purchaser walked to the cashier's desk, his form bent from age and want, his thin and tattered coat buttoned tight about him, while through his hat (a relic of former days) showed here and there some silver threads. "Was my bid fifteen ?" he asked, in a voice weak and trembling, while he counted over again the two nickles he held in his hand. "I thought 1 had that much; indeed I did; but I must have that chair--it's just like the one my little Lulu had when--when--" but with a big gulp he cleared his voice, and began a search through all his pockets. "Ah! here it is," he exclaimed as he at last found the missing coin; and with eager hands he paid over his all, grasped the little chair, and passed on out iuto the street No one among the crowd he left, and no one of those he met, knew of all the memories that little purchase called to life; memories of a happier time, visions of a fair-haired darling, recollections of long ago. How the old heart warmed again to all about him! It was like sun­ shine in winter. And may that little chair be there to cheer and brighten when the wiuds blow fiercer, and the last flickering light of a now useless lifo is about to go out forever.--New On leans Picayune. What Some Women Could Do. There are women to-day in San Fran­ cisco, says the Chronicle, of that city, subsisting on scanty crusts in blind al­ leys who could step into the empty man­ sions of our new millionaires and arrange the appointments of room after room of the entire house with an artistic sense aud individuality of taste which would put to the blush the first upholsterer of the city. The day is not far distant w'aen this will become a <~.istract calling j for women. The originality of concep-; tion and design. manifested by women j wherever their artistic powers are til-' lowed a chance for-^development will' lead to many new paths for industrious ! womanhood. ^ [From the Chambcrsbnrgh (Pa.) Iletald.] AFTER vainly spending five hundred dol­ lars for other remedies to relieve my wife. I i have no hesitation in declaring, that St. i Jacobs Oil will cure Neuralgia, says M. V. I B. Hersom, Esq., (of Pinkham & Heraorn), : Boston, Mass., an enthusiastic indorser of its merits. It's Jnst Awfal. , terrible epidemic is sweeping ovei Louisville, "which is in the State ot Kentucky," and unless it' is soon got under control may be attended with the most deplorable results. One-half the girls of that city are stage struck--stark, staring stage struck! Hundreds of the residences have been converted into am­ ateur play houses, where would-be fe­ male stars tear their hair, and rave, and split the air with their arms and stalk majestically across imaginary stages to the imaginary music of imaginary or­ chestra amid bursts of imaginary ap­ plause and showers of imagiuary bou­ quets. In the dry goods stores young iladies rush up to the counters with in­ spiration dropping from the eyes in great chunks and iu hollow tones com­ mand the affrighted clerk to: "Haste thee, cringing vassal; pr-r-r-ro duce an' br-r-r-ing into our pr-r-r-r-es- ence thy 65 cents hose!" In the ice-cream, saloons maidens shovel the cooling cream into lovely mouths and sweetly murmur to their escorts: "Now, be me faith, Orlando, but is't not a nectar fit for the gods? Speak, me beloved, is't not a dainty dish that graces our festal board ?" and practical Orlando replies: "I bet you!" On the street car the maiden stalks forward toward the driver and howls: "What, ho! there, charioteer, give me, I pray thee, diminutive coin for this one dollar bond, an' I will upon the in­ stant requite thee for thy servioes upon this journey." When one of them catches a flea she holds her victim at arm's length and roars: "Ha-a-a-a! I have thee at last, vile craven! For many nights thy visita­ tions to me chamber have br-r-r-r-ought unrest. Now at la-a-a-st thou art in me clutches and I will shower vengeance upon thy thr-rice accursed head. Die, vile ingr-r'rate, and may the seething fires of perdition engulf thy quivering soul forevermor-r-r-re!" Then she opens her fingers a little to get a good squeeze at him and the flea hops out and goes home to tell its folks about it. They have got it bad, and none of the old established methods of treatment seem to avail--Kit Adams, Modern Argo. " Women Never Think.." If the crabbed old bachelor who uttered this sentiment could bat witness tlie intense thought, deep studv and thorough investigation of women iu determining the best medicines to keep their families well, and would note their sagacity and wisdom in selecting Hop bitters as the beat, and demonstrating it t>y keeping their families in perpetual health, at a mere nominal expense, he would be forced to acknowledge that such senti­ ments are baaeless and false.--Picayune. Fort DTsntrsiA, feKfie^atfon, depression of spirits and genera! debility in their various forms, also as a preventive against fever and ague and other intermittent fevers, the FEBR-J PHOSPHORATED ELIXIR OF CALISAYA BARK, made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York, and sold by all druggists, is the best tonic, and for pa­ tients recovering from fever or other tt Baa ko equal. UKXRY'M OARBOLIC SALVE 1 Is tlie BEST SALVE (or Cata, Braisn, Sans, Clrnn, Salt Rheum. Tetter, Chipped Hands. Chilblains, Corns, »nd JLII kimig of Skin Eruptions, Fieckles and Pimples. G«t HESRVS CARBOLIC SALVE, aa all otton axe counterfeits. Price, 55 cents. 1>K. UKEEN'S OXYGENATED BITTERS b the best remedy for Dyspepsia. Bilionsnew, Malirla, Indigestion, and Diseases of the Blood, Kidney s liver. Skin, etc. DURNO'8 CATARRH SNUFF cures all affections cf the raacous membrane, of the faeid and throat. DR. MOTTO LIVER PH.T-S M »>w i^. Regulators. Portuguese Shepherds. On the hill-side, under the oak trees, we see a child tending her iiock and spin­ ning with distaff and spindle. Such a sight is very common; little girls have much to do with domestic animals; they run fearlessly between the long horns o£ the great tawny oxen, aud guide them in the way they Rtiould go with a shower of blows oil their long-auffering foreheads and muzzles. They milk the goats and herd the swine, aud grow lithe nndstrong of limb aud nut-brown of face in the warm sun. The herdsmen uud shepherd­ esses l>eguile their lonely watch with the peculiar antiphonal songs of tlie country, which often display remarkable wit in re­ partee ou the part of the iniprovisatores, us well as a ready talent for rhyming. These songs are composed as well in Spain as in Portugal. One shepherd challenges another to a tournament in verse, aud be­ gins by singiu# a stanza which is to serve as a key-note, to the whole production, as well in "the kind of measure to be used as iu tune. In one of these lyrical ballads, which, so far as I know, has never crept into print, a man begins a song half in banter, half iu earnest: " It U better to love a <l->a than to lovf « woman, F<ir :i put- sold K woman wilt le ive you to grief. Hut tlie Direction of « dog i? euiiler&." A woman, who perhaps has had some experience of the improvidence as well ns of the voracity of mankind, replies, in ready caricature of the other: " li i* lictter to feed a dog than u> f«*<l a mMJ, For «itii h piecu of mom a do^ will leave you la But t bo li linger of a man will last forever." And the kpen, sharp-shooting is kept up through a long range of topics, the ball tossed back and forward from oue skillful composer to another, and when improvisation fails, traditional badinage is remembered and sung with equnl gusto.--//. II'. Ckampney, in Jlarpa 'n Magazine. Certain Knowledge. We know whe'tMif we attirm when we say that Warnet'.< Safe K'.duey and Liver Cure Lis p*r- lorine l more wonJerful cures than auy ni.' ii- citie evtr brought before the American public SMOKING is not a good habit at its best, but the universal testimony is that cigarette smoking is the worst of all. Indigestion, irritable throats and im­ paired vision are nearly sure to follow this habit, especially in younger boyB. The manufacture of cigarettes is now enormous. Virginia alone is said to make annually over 50,000,000. KIDNEY-WORT is the enemy of indigestion and bilioatmees. It is sore to conquer them. "MIBBORS should never be hung," gays a writer on domestic economy, "where the sun will rest upon them," and she should have added, nor where the daughters could rest upon them either. There should be no discrimina­ tion in favor of either sex. » Hough on Bat*." Ask Druggists for it. It clears out rats, mice, roaches, bed-buga, flies, vermin, insects. 15c. EILXBT'S EXTRACT or TAB AXD WELD CHZHV haa been used for twenty years, and during that time has saved many very valuable lives. Do not neglect a cough or cold until it is too late. Try this excellent remedy, and we are sure you wiil be convinced of its merits. Chronic Conght, and even Consumptives, are cured by following the directions. Every bottle is war­ ranted to give satisfaction. Prepared by tha Emmert Proprietary Co., Chicago. Sold by all good druggists. DEACOK SMITH buys Carboline, the deodor­ ized petroleum hair renewer and restorer, and, since its improvement, recommends it to all his friends as tue perfection of all hair prepara­ tions. This shows that the Deacon is a wise man and knows what is what. UNCLE SAM'S COKDITIOK POWDERS AM no» ommended by stock-owners who have used them as the l>est Horse and Cattle Medicine to l>e had. If the animal is Scraggy, Spiritless, or has no appetite, these Powders are an t x'.el- ltnt rtniedv, and every owner of stock will do well io irv They are prepared by the Emmert Proprietary Co., Chicago, 111., a v«y reliable firm, and sold by all good druggists. Card Collector:! 1st. Bny seven ban DOBBIMt' ELECTRIC SOAP of your Gro. cer. 9d. Ask Mm (• give yea a Mil of It. 3d. Mall u hl» Mil and jonr fall address. 4th. We will mall YOU FSEB •even beautiful cards, In six col' ors and |o'd, representing Shak- speare1! " Seven Ages of Man.** uME.nua.aFua.an,, L L CRA6EI & CO., 116 South Fourth St., PHILADELPHIA, PA. TO FARMERS AND THRESHERMEN. If you want to buy Thrrther*, Clover UuUrr?t Uor*e-r<nr*t* or Kvyin** Jeither Portable 01? Traction, to ns* or timreahing, sawing or for general fmrtMMw), buy the " Starvea le?" goon®. "Tht B**t are thtr Cfitnrest." For Price-list and H lu*trated Pamphlsts (sent frM) VRIT* to THE AULTMAN A TAYLOB COMPASS. Mansfield. O. $66 a «Mk in joar own town. Term* and |t outfit (M. AIMWM H- HTT I.KTT A Co., Portland. M.. D It. III'NTICK• 103 St'tte tt ,Chicago, treat, irac- ceniollr Throat and Lnnf Di>eaM» by Inhalation. $72 A WEEK. 011 a day at hom.MAUjr mad*. OnU) outfit frM. Addreu Tiui t Co., iniuta, Ma ft (JKNTS WANTED for tha Best and Fantoat- 1 Selling Pictorial Books and BiblM. Prioe* reduced I par et. NATIONAL PuBLi«Hi»o Co., Chicago, 111. OC 4-y> &Qft per d»j.t homo. SamplM worthfn.. 90 10 9&U Addrw. BTIK.OH * Co., Portland, Ma V0UN8 MEN month. Oradnat«a fuaruteed^w xaxiMK B*oi„ JasMTilto,wis month. offlM.. AddrM. ViLHtm STK.1M l'S fits can haveclenn boilemat *11 tin. l>> usinK thf HOTCllKISS (MECHANICAL) BUlL- KR ('I.I'.ANKK. Over 800 in use. Send for circular. 84 .1MII,\ MTKKKT, \KW TOKK. Iftd.1 .n.tri.I'WOOII INSTITUTE. 1 Qfif For Young I .adieu, Pittstield, Mass. l"Ol< Knr<- adviintiic«*n. I.ncttrion of iwrivnied beaut}' and .nlulirity. Rev.C.V.SPEAR,Principal. If A HTnAAT) Confident that we have the mort IVI M 111 111 H 111 wonderful rnatorattae ever found for a 1 Weaknesses, we will tend i* N sample free on receipt ol 10 BEGAINEDSttaKKWMK.^. EVER-Y MAN AXD WOMAN can have llffht and profitable) bu$inpB& at home» at all seasons, and w»vo many dollar* in m'ruor.ai and houm expanses. Par- t'cul.'irv, with val\v»bki information for everybody, free. Strictly fojra) jmd honorable. Do bettor than we promise. Address 0. L. CHALMERS 4 O0.t Bangor, Maine. I B torv of England. Bog. LUaratur*. 1 l'ge *rttrtfr« II j l ltmo vol*. I lismo rot. haudsomely II V cloth: oulr bound, for only 40 ru. I" /V#*. MANHATTAN BOOK CO . 16 W. 14th 8t. N.Y. P.O. BOZ TF* A G E N T S W A N T E D Q U I C K tosellth* REVISED NEW TESTAMENT Now rendu f >i" A(fcnt«. Mor$ desirablt edition. la«w rice*. UiUion* an1 walling for It. Oranif Karvft Agents. Particular* fret. Outfit AO«. Act •*. Addreu HUBBAlU) BROf Chiotco. I1L •rl for Cyclopedia War. The mreat Library of rnWeniaj Knowledge now completed, lArjre-tyne edition, nearly 44UXXI topics in every department of human know:odtto, about 40 percent, larger than Chambers' Encyclopedia. 10 per cent, larger than Appleton's, per cent. liir*rer fhan Johnson's, at a mero fraction of their c«>st. Fiftoen large Octavo Vol­umes. nearly IH.iHN) pages, complete in cloth binding. Si ; •" iiHIf KuH«ia,«g^O, in full library eheep,marbled edge*. SgJy. bjMH'ial terms to clubs. <M n nnn U t U / U D f l extra to club agents dur- 9IU(UUU nCffMnll ing the months of July and August. Send quick for specimen pages and lull partictinr? to AMERICAN BOOK EXCHANGE, JOHN B. ALDEM, Manager, 704 Broadway, New York. CELLULOID E Y E - C L A S S E S Representing the choicest-selected Tortoise- Shell and Amber. The lightest, luindeomest, and strongest known. Sold bv Opticians and Jewelers. Made by the SPENCER OPTICAL MTO CO.. 18 Maiden JJane. New York. % LYDIA E. PIWKHAWI'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND. Is a Positive Cure Mnnm t»--rl.lt fraull It will cure entirely tbe wont format pteiate, all ovmiaa trouble., Tnltamiwrttam and tHc«. tion. FaUing and Dterlacementa, and the confeqnapk Spin id WctfeeB, and is partlcoUrljr adapted ta Chance ©if Life. It will (ifFToJro and expel tumors from tL: niemte ea «u-ty «tag« of development. Tha tendMCTriocM*' mrooa humors there is chccked vei7gpe«du3]rt4rlli«afe It ranoves faintnesn, flatulency, destroysall ontaf for stimulant*, ud relieve, wwikzicsfi ottteihmdk It con. Bloating, CMdadkM, Karroos ftwliMll% Genera) ScbQlty, Bimtll--nwss, Dcprrnrton aad Ia4k> Cesttca. That feeling of bearing down, ratainff paia, antgM asd iackacbc, is always permanently csrad hy it. am It-*111 at ail times aad onderaIldreiii!utBiie«act>la harmony Tith tba law. t?' st the famal. ayiM*. Fort ho cure of Kidney Complaints of ^thar .txHtia Compound U omurpnesed. LTDIA E. PlMntlin TECETABXJB OM> POirjTD is prepami at SS3 and 5Ss Western inM, Lynn, Mas*. Price $1. Six bottles for p. SeathyaaO In the form of pills, also En the fcrat of lo receipt of price, $1 per box for either. (Naif answers all l«ttor< of inquiry. Bead to M. Addrms as Mere. Mention Mt Sttpmr. Ho family should bs without LYDIA E. HHUUlPV UviK PILLS. They cure eotuMpattan, UigMs|it> aad tonridity of the liver. % cent, per IKS. > JST Said fcy «11 DnniM. *CI , FRAZERr AXLE GREASE. Beat la tha Warld. Gat the ceaalaa. fen •sdielaa sr*r Made. « of Hops* luoitu, llsn- l Dandelion, with all UxMst aad moat o» nra tive properties of all otter Btttsnt mak e s\the greatest • |cod Purifier, Llvar ST,"\a toVT^Eif. a»d Health mUata. Agent *g*3£2ZS2SSt aeaas. lrragalarl- „„ , organs, or who re- ^ Tonic andrafld Stfcoalaat, Hodlaeasec' Bitters are operationsj tosygweswlV To all who» l ty of the bowels* quire an Appett Bop Bitter* are: loating. No mittor what your fe^yUmz* ®r symrtoma are what the disease or UBB Hop Bit* tnit. Don't wait »intily«ML«re BCSC HAT if yoe only feel or miserablsA0^® them at oacfe. It may save ?.mrlife.ltb*sl* Imndrrta. « (BOO wiU fee paid foraeajpg they wgl. apt eure or help. Do not suffer m®***T°a*«™ad8 suffer,but use and nn*. tham^*®^* HOP B Remember, Hop Bitters Is: drunhen nostrum, but tb. Pa Medicine ever raw!#: the *1!.. -- and BOPS" and no perw» or should without them, O.I.C.ls an absolute and tx RrDrunlcennep, u*e of opium, tobacco I narcotic*. All .old by dmgvtau.^ 8c for Circular l<| atltem life. M, Kocheater.W.T andTorggjoMj^ti, nop • .VS£ i " . '= v An Open Secret* The fMl is well nnieratodl that the MEXICAN MUS­ TANG LINIMENT is by fer­ tile best external known far man or beast. Tbe reisoa w h y b e c o m e s a n " o p e * secret" when we explain that "Mustang" penetrates sUlpt flesh and muscle to the very bone, renmmg all diseaaa and soreness. No other linl- mmi does this, henee nono other is so largely used <||^'- 4oes such worlds of good» . Or n of Choice Farming the Hear Wcat For sale by the lOwaR.R. Land Co. Cedar Eapide, Iowa. -- --» -- Bcaacb Office. 82 Randolph St., Chlca|o, U1&, LECTBICLIGHTIS. (rw.VERVOrs DEBILITY, Lo»t * "\THIWS» Impaired powers t ared by MA' Improved KICCSSD-MSKHBUC Belt .ad " il oomlif Psil cmulmm!; of Pad. 7x10 inrhr.*^foTlT limps L-.s4.rL than others. Do not pwwhasai £ M09 >ld etylp Belts when you can art the lktasf* nitmitod for " Electric Ught." III iiideia paper, ®eni free il mealed; PCM led. 6c. I>. S. I>. MATHEWS k CO.. ^4, 6ti and 88 Fifth Av.no., Chicago, rn p Gpaati iBftaUb Pert WIsssti Vi!) fbr & etatfl / teiffet, Mlor t>f ayes, &r«d leek t.f b»lr. sand & cs&ebc?/ ricffii your futw.es husband er wife. pyeboicgtsaUjf1 mdicttd, wife aasie, tiae »&£ ptai* of B&eu&£. *t Bkrriut. Nm; NMM4 » til •« AMNM M L Mirtlm. It Mm'; Ft BMM, H C.N.U. No. ao WHEN WR1T1NU TO ADVBRTIKHlUt, uleaae aajr ;ss mmm the siwllm MM* la this ptUHsr. D'METWS T»r. KETTAUK'S HKADACHE PILIS cur® most wonderfully in & wewf mort time both SICK and NERVOtS^HEADACHE; and while acting M the nervons system, cleanse the stomach of excess of bile* produel^ * Wgutor liealUijr action of the bowels HEADACHE A fall six** box of these valuable PILLS, with fall directions for a con- ptete core, mailed to any addreu on receipt of nine tte<w:e3t ponaga •taipurt. Fot sate by all drucs^tU at 2Sc. Solo Fraprletors, BBOWX ^arseufgfiAT. COHI'ASV, BalUmore, *d. PILLS ETROLEUM JELLY lJ«ed and approved by the leading PHYSI­ CIANS of EUROPE and AMERICA. The most Valuable Family Remedy known. ^ For tiw Tmtzos&t of W0V5S6, BTJ&N5, 80EES, CUTS, «'H 11 MM? TITSVASTR XHEUKAXISK. CATAEEH, ESKOBESOIZM, Ete. Alaofor Ccugta, Cclds, Ecre Threat, CJrosp exd Dipithari*, ete, ja-Try tica. 25 aad 50 cent sizes of all cur fooda. fiimmiii. jTSptiie PHILADELPHIA FJVOOTIOX. ;M»AL ATl**rAJU»KXP««**lMk tbm Mt "iittdalNn pMt TuMns lack aa PeoadeVwHeeg^ Vuelias Cold f Vsediael mn|irtl« |i TASELHrSl AawmMhtetaraK ieg YtrntmismaaBy."- t5 carts A MX.