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tilfMtji PaindcSlet 1. VAN SLYKE. C« Iter and Pubticher. SCoHENBT, ILLlNOia THE widow of the novelist, G. P. R. •James, is living at Green Bay, Wis. IIOBMOH missionaries have estab­ lished a branch of the Latter-Day Saints in the Quaker City, GBN. SHERMAN is very fond of onions, sod an impertinent lady correspondent «ays he eats them too often. A BALD-EAGLE was recently caught at Wilmington, Del., while trying to carry a large Newfoundland dog. h- -- THE wheat bonanzas of Nebraska, Kansas and other Western States are more reliable -than the silver mines of Oolorado. THE Washington telegraph office sent 370,371 words for the newspapers, arid 10,223 private dispatches on the day of "the President's assassination. : A PHILADELPHIA man, being slapped in the face by his wife, turned white with rage, stood still for a moment as though irresolute, and then, procuring a gun from an adjoining room, commit­ ted suicide. IN February last a tramp printer with­ out a cent in the world walked into the office of the Sun, Soroceo, N. M. After borrowing 25 cents and earning $5 he went prospecting, located a claim, and has lately sold two-thirds of it for $30,000. GEO. W. CASTER, the new Minister to Venezuela, was once Speaker of the Louisiana House of Representatives. He was Professor of Law in the Uni­ versity of Mississippi at one time, and fortunately speaks Spanish very fluently. He was in the Confederate army, and became a Republican in 1868. THE annual rdports of the Librarians of the numerous free libraries through­ out the country for the year 1880 show a decided falling off in patronage, and various reasons are assigned in explana­ tion, but it seems to be owing to the simple fact that the revival of business has allowed book-borrowers less time to read. STATISTICS of the wine and grape crop for 1880, prepared by the Department of Agriculture at Washington, show thai; the principal States ranked as follows in order of acres under cultivation : est country in Europe, for many years, owing to tlie bad management of her finances and domestic revolutions and outbreaks, Spain has been comparative­ ly the poorest, and, at one time her credit was so low that she could not borrow a dollar anywhere. Now her financial condition is wonderfully im­ proved, and the development of her re­ sources is adding wealth to the state as well as to the people. A CORRESPONDENT of the New York Times declares that during the Mexican war he had half of his liver carried away, and during the Rebellion lost the other half. He does not say whether or not the first half was ever brought back, but he affirms that he never knew what per­ fect health was until he lost his liver. He thinks the liver a mistake of nature. He concludes by saying that neither the balls nor the liver have ever been found. He signs himself Livermore; but we should say his right name was Liverless rather than more. He does not state his occupation, but he certainly can't be in the livery business. LIEUT. DERBY, the father of American humorists, known better as " John Phcenix," was wounded with the same appearance of fatality as in the Presi­ dent's case. He was hit at Monterey during the Mexican war, and given up by the surgeons. But tho ball remained in him, and years after came so close to the surface that he could pinch it. He wanted his wife,to cut it out, but she declined, preferring that he should go to a surgeon. He declined on the ground that, the surgeons had had " all the fun with that ball " he proposed to allow. It was thenceforth to be a fami­ ly matter. The bullet remained in him until he died. THE stage and two fast-freight teams were stopped between Sierraville and Truekee, Nev., by a robber armed with a shotgun. There were thirteen per­ sons in all traveling with the vehicles, and these the highwayman ranged in a row, under cover of his weapon, and made them yield up their valuables. Then he commanded the stage-driver to burst open the treasure box and give up the contents, and this the driver did. The party were detained for more than an hour, but were finally released, im­ poverished but grateful men. It is stated that none of the passengers or drivers were reckless enough to remon­ strate or show fight; in fact, they saw that they were surrounded by the one- man army of robber and accepted the situation quiescently. State& Acre*. California 32,368 New York 12,636 Ohio 9,973 Missouri 7,376 Georgia. 2,991 Gallon*. 13,557,155 .",*•1,148 l,<;32,0i8 1,824,207 903.244 Valve. $4,046,865 M87,:WH 1,027,926 1,320,050 1,835,351 JOHN MCCUMJOUGH is visiting Ireland. He writes: "My success in London has brought forth a score of sisters, cousins, and aunts from the Emerald Isle hitherto unsuspected. I had thought myself merely a potato Irishman, bulMndging •afrom some of the letters I think a must be descended from Brian and all the Irish Kings." AN Albany shoe-factory has received an order for a pair of shoes from Miss Mary Wells, of Sandusky, from a pat­ tern marked from the foot as she stood on a paper on the floor. The pattern calls for a shoe 17 inches long, 7f wide in the widest part. The ball of the foot is 10 inches around, the instep 18 J, the heel 22 and the ankle 164. Miss Wells is but 17 years old, and weighs 160 pounds. A MARKET has been mode in Italy for an article in the manufacture of which Americans -- naturalized Americans-- have recently excelled--beer. The rav­ ages of phylloxera have tended to in­ crease the price of wine in Italy, and the Italians have taken to beer-drinking as a consequence. The beer manufactured in Italy is rather poor in quali­ ty, and the imported article comes prin­ cipally from this country. SENATOR LAMAR, of Mississippi, is making an active canvass for re-election, and it is now believed that delegates pledged to vote for his re-election will be chosen in almost every county in the State. Mr. Lamar made an elaborate address at Aberdeen, Miss., recently, in which he took occasion to commend the public course of President Garfield in high terms, and to deplore as a great national calamity a fatal result to his present prostration. A CORRESPONDENT who lias visited Southern Arizona--the region purchased from Mexico by the Gadsden treaty--in­ sists that it contains thousands of acres of fine grazing and agricultural lands (and millions of lead), much good tim­ ber, and a number of valuable mines, including those of the Tombstone dis­ trict. He thinks tlie product of gold and silver from these mines during the present year will exceed the ten millions originally paid for the land by the United States Government. A CORRESPONDENT of the New York Tribune, who has been traveling exten- •sively in the South, says he found no­ where, save in Southwestern Texas, any manifestation of prejudice against negro education. But there is still difference of opinion regarding the capacity of the negroes for continued or permanent in­ tellectual improvement. Virginia has new the best public-school system in the South. In the distribution of money for school purposes, whites and blacks are on an equality. The attendance at the schools is increasing rapidly. UNDER the administration of her young King, Spain is prospering, and great progress is being made in every direction.. Although naturally the rich- How to Prevent Drowning. A writer in Nature says: I wish to show how drowning might, under ordinary circumstances, be avoided even in the case of persons otherwise wholly ignorant of what is called the art of swimming. The nnuerous frightful casualties render every working sugges­ tion of importance, and that which I here offer I venture to think is entirely available: When one of the inferior animals takes the water, falls, or is thrown in, it in­ stantly begins to walk as it does when out of the water. But when a man who can not "swim" falls into the water, he makes a few spasmodic struggles, throws up his arms, and drowns. The brute, on the other hand, treads water, remains on the surface, and is virtually insub- mergible. In order, then, to escape drowning, it is only necessary to do as the brute does, and that is to tread or walk the water. The brute has no ad­ vantage in regard of his relative weight, in respect of the water, over man, and Jret the man perishes while the brute ives. Nevertheless, any man, any woman, any child who can walk on the land may also walk on the water just as readily as the dog does, if only he will, and that w ithout any prior instruction or drilling whatever. Throw a dog into the water and he treads or walks instantly, and there is no imaginable reason why a human being under like circumstances should not do as the dog does. The brute, indeed, walks in the water instinctively, whereas the man has to be told. The ignorance of so simple a pos­ sibility--namely, the possibility of tread­ ing water--strikes me as one of the most singular thingB in the history of man, and speaks very little indeed for his in­ telligence. He is, in fact, as ignorant on the subject as the new-born babe. Perhaps something is to be ascribed to the vague meaning which is attached to the word "swim." When a man swims it means one thing; when a dog swims it means another and quite a different act. The dog is wholly incapable of swimming as a man swims, but nothing is more certain than that a man is capa­ ble of swimming, and on the instant, too, as a dog swims, without any previous training or instruction, and that by so doing, without fear or hesitancy, he will l>e just as safe in the water as the dog is. The brute in the water continues to go on all fours, aud the mau who wishes to save his life aud can not otherwise swim must do so too, striking alternately one, two, one, two, but without hurry or pre­ cipitation, with hand and foot, exactly as the brute does. Whether he be provided with paw or hoof, the brute swims with the greatest ease and buoyancy. The human being, if he will, can do so too, with the further immense advantage of having a paddle-formed hand, aud of be­ ing able to rest himself when tired, by floating, a thing of which the animal has no conception. Men and animals are able to sustain themselves for long distances in the water, and would do so much oftener were they not incapacitated, in regard to the former, at least, by sheer terror, as well as complete ignorance of their real powers. The Skldmere Batter* The affable and gentlemanly proprie­ tor ol one of our leading hotels had just finished his first forty winks after retir­ ing the other night, when he was con­ scious of a slight noise under the bed. " Come out of that or TO blow yo® tannery, and sat up late at night over the speech. At the end of a week he brought the speech to Pratt, and read it to hiin In his office. The Congressman and boss tanner of the district fairly danced about his office as Gould went on ! with his speech, so well pleased was he, full of Sutro tunnels !" he shouted as he < when the reading was done lie made sat up iu bed and cocked his revolver. ° a check for $100 and handed it to the Hold hard ! I'm coming !" said the concealed party, scrambling from under the bed. It was too dark to see clearly, but the hotel keeper could peroeive ̂ shadowy form arise and lean affably over the footboard. " What the deuce are you doing there?* roared the incensed steak-stretcher. " Now, keep cool--take it easy-^-dont get excited," said the intruder, blandly. " It's all your own fault." " What the blazes'do yon mean?" " Why, I've been trying--my name is Sliggs, agent for Slushington & Slazy, Philadelphia--I've been trying to see you for two weeks. Wanted to show you a patented article ol the greatest value to your business." " Don't want to see any agent--bat what on earth do you mean by--" " I was just going to explain," inter­ rupted the cheeky customer. " I deter­ mined to see you at any risk, so I just hid under the bed. You see I wanted to get at you when you had nothing to bother you. Plenty ol time to talk, jam, understand." " Wpll, of all the gall!" " I won't detain you a minute," con­ tinued the agenk "I am trying to in­ troduce a patented article of butter, and--" . " We've arranged for all the oleomar­ garine we want," growled the hash-ser­ ver. "But this is another article entirely. It's a composition of semi-liquid rubber, colored aud manipulated so as to resem­ ble the best clover-fed butter. By its use the boarder of the period can be brought so as not to eat any butter at all." " Don't believe it," said the dyspepsia aggravator, incrediously. " But it's a fact all the same," went on the agent, sitting on the footboard and I lighting a cigarette. "You see, the j guest puts his knife into the butter, and proceeds to butter his bread. That is, he thinks he does, but the rubber merely really slides back to the original roll as he withdraws his knife. The boarder imagines he has spread the bread, how­ ever, and eats it contentedly. You know how much imagination has to do with these things, anyhow." " Big money saved if the thing really worked," mused tlie landlord. "But it does work," persisted Mr. Sliggs; "tliere are twenty-six restau­ rants and four large hotels using it in Chicago. Big success, too. Doesn't' give the bread that peculiar--ahem ! pe­ culiar wheel-greasy flavor of regular hotel butter. Besides, there are no hairs and things. If it wasn't so dark I'd show you a sample that has been in use over eight months. All you have to do is to freshen it up with a little water and a wooden dye once a month, and there you are." "I'll think over it," said the great American "extra" charger, thought- fully. " Do so, and I'll see you in the morn­ ing;" and after tucking the covers around the landlord's feet, and bidding him a cheery good night, the butter agent unlocked the door and slid out. Instead of inspecting the new boon to tavern keepers the next morning, the hotel man put in time writing au adver­ tisement for the papers to the effect that if the sneak thief who stole four seal rings, a set of diamond studs, six scarf pins, pair sleeve buttons, gold watch, and §52 in coin, from a room in the hotel, would return the jewelry, he could keep the money and no questions asked.--Derrick Dodd, San Francisco Post. Advice on Training Horses. Forty-six years ago David Lewis, then a handsome, round-headed Welshman, was driving from Utica, Oneida county, to Hamilton College, having a load of lads returning, after a spring vacation, to their studies. As he neared Middle Settlement his attention was called to a farmer maltreating a colt which could not and would not keep up in his work with an older horse harnessed beside it. David, displeased at the unreasonable farmer, murmured " Tu-ra-lu-ral" (but did not swear), and stopped for tlie farmer to come to the roadside, and the two commenced talkingin Welsh. We college boys had no Welsh professoi, and were ignorant of the language. The tongues of David and his countryman had a short spat. As we started on our way I asked for a translation of the Welsh dialogue. Says David : "The man asked me to tell him how to break his colt, and I told him to go into the house and first break himself." No man can master a colt properly who can not control himself. There is no mystery in education. The whole method is according to law. Rewards and punishments underlie just govern­ ment Beware of an improper punish­ ment of a colt as you would of a human being, for you must command respect if you would educate either. Never trifle or deceive. When you must draw the whip to compel attention, remember to reward obedience with sugar, or some pleasing gift. First make your colt your friend, and then educate without impatience or severity. Condescend to talk to your horse and be clear in your language, for he can hear and is glad to be coolly and intelligently directed. "Goon! Steady ! Whoa ! " are three magic words which should be used t© start, to moderate, or to stop the move­ ments of a colt. Repeat them clearly, as you have occasion to use them, for just what they mean, and the colt will soon obey tliem, and be proud of his knowledge. Be at all times considerate, kind, fair and firm, remembering there is a limit to every sensitive organization. It does no harm to tire a colt, but never exhaust one. Groom well after work rather than before. If you hate a colt, let some one else educate him.--Bren- tano's M'mthly. future millionaire and master of railroad manipulations.--Oor. Hartford Times. A REVEREND gentleman in Aberdeen­ shire having been summoned before the presbytery for tippling, one of his el­ ders, the constant participator of his orgies, was summoned to appear as a witness against him. " Weel, John," said a member of the reverend court, did you ever see the accused the worse of drink ?" " Weel, I wat no," an­ swered John; " I've mony a time seen him the better o't, but never seen him thewauro't." "But did you ever see him drunk ?" " That's what I'll never see," replied the elder ; " for lang be­ fore he's half sickened I'm aye blind fou." IF EMINENT men whose history has been written could return to life how they would laugh at what has been said of them. How Uncle Sile Ran a 1'anrns. When poor old Uncle Silas Patterson went to his grave not a mourner fol­ lowed, and never will a tear moisten the earth above him. La by-gone days ha aspired to be a political leader, and there arc plenty of men who remember how he once ran a ward caucus. Know­ ing his ambition to become a power in the Third ward, three or four old jokers put up a plan to make him Chairman of the caucus shortly to be held, they visited him in a body and ex­ plained : " Everything will depend on how you run this caucus. Be calm. Be digni­ fied. Don't let any one ride over yon. One will move this and the other that, but you must refuse to entertain any motions until you have ascertained the pleasure of the meetiug." Uncle Sile was delighted and puffed up, and he could hardly wait for the hour which was to witness his triumph. He was called to the chair, as planned, and, after a few remarks to prove his gratitude, he; called for order and said: " Now, then, what is the pleasure of the meeting ?" A citizen rose in reply and began : " I move you, Mr. Chairman, that we now pro- " Order 1 Order 1" called Uncle Siie. "I am in order." . " You are not! Take your seat or I'll have you put out." The astonished elector dropped back to second- fiddle, and Uncle Sile con­ tinued : "Now, then, what is the pleasure of the meeting ? " "I move that we proceed to bal--" It was another elector, and he had only got thus far when the Chairman cried out: "I call for order. If we-can't have order we might as well adjourn. I now ask you for the third time, What is the pleasure of the meeting ? " The electors were dumbfounded for a time, but one of them recovered a little sooner than the rest and asked : ' • Is this a caucus ? " " You bet! " answered Uncle Sile. "Are we here to nominate ward offi­ cers?" "We are." " Then, sir, I move that we pro--" " Order ! order ! " yelled the Chair­ man. " That's the third or fourth time that trick has been tried here, and the next man who makes a motion before I have found out the pleasure of the meet­ ing will be put out. Now, then, is there any pleasure in this meeting? If so, where is it and what is it ? " He soon discovered. About twenty men rushed for liim at once, and he went out of the window like a bag of sand, and before he had come to the caucus had transacted its business and ad­ journed. The incident not only cured Uncle Sile's ambition to be a politician but it is doubtful if he ever cast another vote.--Detroit Free- Press. DUBOIS ITXWB, DECATUR is seven papers. struggling to rapport for (iould as a Speech-Writer. Gould's first start in the tannery busi­ ness up in Delaware county was with a man of considerable note in the neigh­ borhood--Col. Pratt. The Colonel had been in Congress, and was in the habit of making speeches in the district. He had a great opinion of himself, and was known all through the backwoods of this section, which, by the way, was all backwoods then. But, though he bad been in Congress and could come out pretty strong on the stump, 1 e wa > ot "a ---- literary fellar," by any means. OIL one occasion he wrs noliiied some CHICAGO is going to build a inebriate women. CoAii has been discovered at a depth of 270 feet at Roanoke, Woodford county. THE old settlers of Adams and Brown counties are making arrangements for the annual reunion to be held at Clayton, Aag. 18 and 19. POSTMASTER PALUBB, of Chicago, has assumed the position of editor-in-chief of the Chicago Daily Herald, a 2-cent morning paper, THE Greenbackers of Pike county met in convention at Pittsfield and put in nomination a full county ticket, to be voted for in November. THE trouble between the railroad and the people of Newton, which resulted in the closing up of the station, has been settled, and the place will be restored to its former privileges. MRS. KEOOH and son, aged 10, were cut to pieces by being knocked down and run over by a switch engine at the Illinois Central yards in Bloomington. The heads of both were cut off, and the bodies aud limbs horribly crushed and maftgled. STATEMENTS have been published of the number of all classes employed by the several Chicago railroads. The Wabash heads the list with a pay-roll aggregating 18,500 names. The Chi­ cago, Milwaukee and St. Paul comes next, with 16,000. THE Illinois State Horticultural Soci­ ety will this year hold its annual fair and exhibition with the Inter-state Expo­ sition in Chicago, from Sept. 7 to Oct. 22, The annual State Fat-Cattle Show pistol-shot fired by Guiteau. A gun was accidentally discharged, which sent a load of large shot into this boy's liver, some of the pellets passing clear through the right lobe. Dr. J. C. Mas- sie, of Houston, Texa, (who reported tlie cose), was called in on the fourth day after the accident, when the wound was gangrenous. After telling the boy'» parents that there was not much chance for his recovery, Dr. Massie cut out more than the half ot the right lobe of the liver, which had become gangrene* ous. Contrary to expectation, the boy made a speedy recovery. POLITICAL NOTES. EVERYBODY knows that where igno­ rance is most dense the Democratic ma­ jority is the largest. The census dem­ onstrates this fact beyond a doubt. Of the 1,500,000 illiterate voters in the United States, 1,125,000 are in the Southern States. Only about one-half the voting population of the South are able to read their own ballots.--Inter Ocean. THE crowd of impecunious delegates to the late Ohio Democratic State Con­ vention who got no money out of Book- waiter's "bar'l" are now swearing like "our army in Flanders." They do not seem to be particularly scandalized be­ cause their candidate literally bought his nomination, but because, in the dis­ bursement of the funds, they received no part of the swag. They call him now Pocket-Bookwalter. The quarrel be­ tween the factions is very pretty as it stands.--Chicago Journal. IN the intensely Democratic parts of this State--where the rum shops are will be held iu the Chicago y,rpr>«Hi^n i maliy aud the school houses few--they Building from Nov. 7 to Nov. 12. j 816 Pft8s'1|g the old Claib Jackson de- MATTD S. trotted a mile in 2:11 a* I f°F curreu" Chicago, in the presence of her owner, ! / * Wel1' wll-v not? These warrants Wm. H. Vanderbilt, and 25,000 other ' ^ FF ̂ ! people. Capt. Stone, her manager, Dcmocratlc Leart; while Government considers the event the mare's greatest 1 u r®l)re8ents something very ab~ feat, considering the state of the track, ! ? uT fneu?« the Green- which was verv heavy from recent heavy j T V* s with propriety take the rains. ' J > \ Jackson scrip as legal tender. It is just cerarir «m v * - - Santa Fe. I used to think Fernandina was the sleepiest place in the world, but that was before I had seen Santa Fe. The drowsy old town, lying i«ua afefidy valley inclosed on three sides mountain walls, is built of adobes laid in one-story houses, and resembles an . extensive brick yard, with scattered sunburned kilns ready for the fire. The approach in midwinter, when snow, deep on the mountains, rests in ragged patches on the red soil of New Mexico, is to the last degree disheartening to the traveler en­ tering narrow streets which appear mere lanes. Yet dirty and unkempt, swarm­ ing with hungry dogs, it lias the charm of foreign flavor, and, like San Antonio, retains some portion of the grace which long lingers about, if, indeed, it ever forsakes, the spot where Spain has held rule for centuries, and soft syllables of the Spanish tongue are yet heard. It was a primeval stronghold before the Spanish conquest, and a town of some importance to the white race when Penn­ sylvania was a wilderness and the first Dutch Governor was slowly drilling the Knickerbocker ancestry in the difficult evolution of marching round the town pump. Once the capital and center of the Pueblo kingdom, it is rich in historic interest, and the archives of the Territo­ ry, kept, or rather neglected, in the old Placio del Gobemador, hold treasures well worth the seeking of student and antiquary. The building itself has a history full of pathos and striking inci­ dent as the ancient fort of St. Augustine, and is older than that venerable pile. It hrd been the palace of the Pueblos im- memorially before the holy name of Santa Fe was given in baptism of blood by the Spanish conquerors ; palace of the Mexicans after they broke away from the crown, and palace ever since its occupation by El Gringo. In the stormy scenes of the seventeenth cent­ ury it withstood several sieges ; was re­ peatedly lost and won, as the white man or the red held the victory. Who shall say bow many and how dark the crimed hidden within these dic-ary earthen walls ? THE story of John Duncan, of Alford, England, the "weaver-botanist," has been received with the warmest sym­ pathy by scientists and scientific socie­ ties the world over. Although only a poor weaver, toiling at the loom for his daily bread, he has by a lifetime of in­ dustry and earnest devotion to science added very materially to the botanical knowledge of his country; and quite re­ cently presented his large aud very val­ uable herbarium to the university of Aberdeen. His scientific labor, how­ ever brought him no pecuniary reward, aud extreme old age found liim depend­ ent for his daily necessities upon par­ ochial relief. Recently the worthy old botanist's needs have attracted much at­ tention, and a fund now raising for his re­ lief by voluntary subscriptions has reached the respectable proportions of about £325. Her majesty, the Queen, presented £10. The money subscribed is to be placed in the hands of a board of trustees, who will make ample provis­ ion for Mr. Duncan during the remain­ der of his life, and on his death will de­ vote any sum remaining to the promo­ tion of science. The weaver-botanist is now in his eighty-seventh year, aud in feeble health. time ahead that he would have a chance j ~ to speak at a ratifioa'ou meeting. "All NOTHING is easier than faultfinding, right," said Pratt. "I'll give 'em some- j No talent, no self-denial, no brains, no thing good this time." Calling Gould, j character, are required to set up iu tlie then only a stripling, into his nllice, he I grumbling business. But those who asked him if he thought he could get up | are moved by a genuine desire to do a political speech. Gould reflected a minute and said he believed he could. " Then go ahead," said Pratt, "and I'll make it all right." He then gave Gould the main points that he wanted to cov­ er. Gould went on with his work at the rains. i wuucx. xi i» just LEWIS RICE, of Antiocli, Vermillion ! they would make the county, being under the necessity of , lt • th . the{ ^ance. more water for his stock, commenced ; v. , N J^r, i their souls digging a pool in his pasture. He dug ! 6L Lom* Globe-Democrat. down about three feet and struck a vein 1 INDICATIONS are abundant thus early of water almost as cold as ice. The vein j :lt *he amiable game of dog in the is very strong, and furnishes an abund- i ?^'ll??er muc^ played by the Pro- ance of water for all his stock. 1 mbitionists of the country in the ensu- MAYOR HARRISON, of Chicago, is ! „ !-a\t 8ev^r« ?tafce an£ making war upon tlie pestiferous Can- i s • . s .. e . Reformers, ada thistles. He has issued an order to the Chief of Police requesting that a note bo taken by all police officers of all hopeless of victory themselves, are hope­ ful of an occasional opportunity to wrest victory from the Republicans and give ix&srasjrsra* Th«,pvV limit*, th.it thev may be reported au'J ' JV.i™,' sympathy ot the men Bent to cut them dowu. 1 Mma °f m• rm_ r.- 4 „ I Prohibitionists ought to receive CHICAGO Twies: The Directors of J HOME sort of tangible recognition, of the Chicago Board of Trade have re- | course. To render occasional Demo- buildinK to cost : work ipate from Democratic successes plans contemplate ^ n $700,000, having a frontage of 175 feet I mrtter'difficuu'oriinderstjmding.-- aud a depth ot 225, with a hall for the j u-aukee Jrt#co»mu. board fifteen or twenty feet above the | Therk ia not tbe 8,ightegt probabmty Miss GERTIE HULIOK, of Lewistown, | Republicans losing the organize was bitten by a cat the other day. The j f tl'e lower. hof«. of Congress, cat came to her, purring and seemingly ^hef ^ Congre881onal Rectory shows coaxing to be caresssed. When Gertie J®1 T^f1n]l,)eriS fleeted as dis- began caressing it, it seized her hand I tm?tlve Re»,ubhcau8, 131 as democrats and bit through the wrist, inflicting a terrible flesh wound. The arm com­ menced swelUng and paining her almost beyond endurance. Remedies were ap­ plied, and she is getting along nicely at present IJTATE Journal: It should be bdrne in mind by all ]>erson8 dealing in guns and revolvers that the new law recently passed by the Legislature prohibiting the sale or loaii of deadly weapons to minors went into effect on the 1st. It is to be hoped that the wholesale traffic in the so-called harmless toy-pistol to boys will now be somewhat diminished, and dne regard shown this statute through* out the State. A MONSTER reunion of veterans will take place at Bloomington during the month of September, which the compa­ nies and regiments of tlie National Guard of the State have been invited to attend. Free transportation is to be offered, and also good camp accommoda­ tions, in addition to which liberal prizes are to be hung up for competing mili­ tary companies. Under these condi­ tions it is probable that there will be a very large attendance of the State mili­ tary companies, and possibly some from other States. • BLOOMINGTON Pantograph: Capt. John Johnston, of Normal, recalls the fact that in 1857 this section of the country was visited by the army-worm They injured the and 11 as Greenbackers or Independ­ ents. Six vacancies now exist--four in Republican districts and two in Demo­ cratic districts. Should Republicans lie elected to succeed Messrs. Lapliam, Miller and Morton, of New York, and Frye, of Maine, the,^ Republicans will have a majority of one. Moreover, some of the Independents and Greenbackers were elected by Republican votes, in opposition to Democratic nominees. Hazleton, Rice and Burrows, of Mis­ souri, classed as Greenbackers, are avowed Republicans, except on the cur­ rency question, and will in all probability act with the Republicans in the organ­ ization of the House. It is absolutely certain that they will not take part with the Democrats.--Columbus (Ohio) Journal. WHENEVER the Democrats blunder or fail--and they usually do both--tliey is­ sue manifestos to the country telling what fellows they would be if they only had a fair chance, what grand results they would achieve had fate been other­ wise and what wicked fellows the parties at whose hand they suffer defeat are and have been. The Bourbons of the New York Legislature, having failed to take advantage of the temporary split in the Republican ranks, are angry and disap­ pointed, and, in an address issued to the public in explanation of their failure, they are eloquent in denunciation of the spoils system, caustic iu their references allud-to Oontlmg, and contemptuous iu allu< tlStSUBJTS i-MoI'Utt. The, try to mat.; tin. Capt. ticed in the spring a patch of meadow killed out on a farm he owns in Downs township. He is now satisfied that it was the work of the army-worm. . Mr. Ab Funk's farm and several other farms in Funk's grove are suffering from the attention they are giving to the oat fields. They crawl up to the head of the stalks and cut off" tlie grains one by one. Mr. C. H. Salzman, an agent for a reaping-machine, remembers that in Ohio, something like forty years ago, the army-w jrm came in large numbers two successive years. One year they were so numerous that they ate clover, grain, corn and whatever came in their way. The farmers contested theii- right of way into the corn pretty suc- cesstully by digging ditches and drag­ ging a log up and down the furroWs to kill the worms. A RAGGED and dirty-faced news­ boy entered a Chicago street-car, crying: " Full account of the failure of Garfield." A prominent criminal law­ yer of tliat city, who was in the car at the time, thought he would "chaff" the lad. " Bub," said the lawyer, " I will give you 5 cents for a paper if you will tell me what made Garfield fail." "Gimme the money," said the boy, " and I'll tell you." " Don't you know," replied the legal light, " that there are two bad paymasters--one who pays be­ forehand, and one who never pays?" "Gimme de nickel," said the boy. " But "--said the lawyer. " Gimme de nickel !" clamored the boy. The pass­ engers commenced to snicker, and the lawyer, who seemed to feel that he had been making a tool of himself, -gave a nickel to the passenger sitting next to him to hold until the boy snould give his answer. " Co/, he was shot," said the boy, " and couldn't tend to his busi­ ness, and his partners stole all his stuff while he was lying on his back. That's why he failed." The stakeholder imme­ diately passed the money to the boy, and the crowd--barring the lawyer-- tittered more than ever. ap­ pear that they are in favor of civil- service reform, pure and simple, that they have the utmost concern for the " great State of New York" and of the nation, and that they are particularly solicitous for the interest of the tax­ payer. The people, however, have little faith in their protestations or profes­ sions, and the people are right. The periodical Democratic manifesto is to lie expected, and probably must be en­ dured. BOOKWALTEB, the Democratic candi­ date for Governor of Ohio, has a barrel, but, if reports may be believed, no other qualification tor Governor. The New York Tirns i says of him: He is niuiply and solely a vulgar fellow with a million or two of dollar* wlio proposew to buy tho Governorship as a kind of iKirsonal ornr- ment. just as "slioddy" rich people bay the biggest diamonds they can And. His caudida- cv represents a gross form of materialism, and nothing else. His philosophy of the correlation of forces i never rises above tlie con­ sideration of tlie omnipotence of mon y. In bis patent water-wheels and his en­ gines he' sees a force that can be trans­ muted into political power and glory. They bring him money. «nd money, as he fancier, will bring him an\ thing ho dt-'sireB. The man, <the individual, stands for nothing in this pro- isexs. Tbe engines and the water-wheels are gbing to elect tlie Governor of Ohio, unless it shall prove that the voters of the State are not yet ready to accept the sway of mechanical forces." The " bar'l" has not proven a success with the Democracy in late years. It has secured nominations, which is easy enough, but it has proven a dead weight in elections. The people are not yet ready to put up offices to the highest bidder. While the possession of a ba& rel may be controlling in Democratic conventions, it is a positive impediment in elections, as Book waiter will find out.-- Indianapolis Journal. taily i» the mornlsg; at thr jwp of da j, Straining the milk in the daiqf, . Tnrr.ini the emi away-- Swelling the floor in the kitd^i^ Making the tieda up stairs, WMtiing the breakfut dishe*, , Dusting the parlor chairs. Brnahitig the crumbs from thn Hunting far egjts In the barf, ClHUiing the turnip# for dinnfi^ Spinning the stockingyarn->» .... Spreading tbe whitening*line* Down on the bashes Mow, • . Bamacking every meadow When tbe strawberries groKftf i ' Searching for " fixings " for 8naiiq|r, . ' . Churning the snowy cream. Rinsing the pnils and "strainer Down in the running s?reat»-- Feed ins; the geese and turkeyfc ~ Making the pumpkin pies, -'•* ""SPWi Jo*ging the litlie one's cr»di«|! ' Driving a way the tios. v " ^ Grace in ererj motion, ,, Music in eTery tone, " *1 Bwaty in form and faaton, Thousands might covet to usa Cheeks that rival spring rows, ' Teeth t he whitest of pearls. Om of thm ooantry maidens |§ *wtk ^score<>i jomzdtjrgirla. . / , -* B -- PITH AND POTS% A MAN is known BY TBE oomptny lie keeps out ot " FUNNY items are made by adroit turns of the humor wrist,. THE lit tle knots of hair on the head of a Chinaman are curlyc-uee. ;• WHEN two persons fall in levo, the only way to get out is to fall out. A MAIDEN wants to know how to avoid having a mustache come on her upper lip. Eat onions, girls. IT does not follow that a young lady is a fine performer on the piano because she plays in a beautiful manor. A NHW kind of berry is being grown, called the "Telegraph." An electrio currant, probably. -- Yonkers States­ man. MANT young ladies at the seaside take more interest in the wave of one handkerchief than in all those of old ocean. " JOHN, is there much difference be­ tween a sea and a saw ?" " Yes; the difference between see aad saw is in tense." DETROIT Free PressIsn't it wonder­ ful how a thousand-dollar trotter shrinks away into the hide of a seventy tive-dol- lar plug when the tax assessor comes around? A CAIBO girl whose lover's name is Peleg blushingly addresses him as " Pe- limb." Her modesty is of several yean' duration, and has baffled the skill of the best physicians. AN Iowa cow succeeded in killing an elephant, a lion and a camel. Brave cow ! She did it by getting under the train bearing these creatures and ditch­ ing it.--Boston Post. WE notice a great number of our Northern exchanges are soft-soaping the Mexicans. Most of them have been needing soap of some kind far several centuries.--Texas Siftings. How BIO was Alexander, pa, That people call turn great ? Could he upeiul hie mother-in-law Tbe best live times iu eight? O! no, my child, about the lielt Of me or Uncle Jim; Old Aleck just got up and left Wbeu she got after him. "How DO you like this country asked a naturalized citizen of a maiden fair from the white cliffs of Albion. "I 'ate it," she replied. This, he reflected, is a wonderful year--one of the ateys.-- Andrews' American Queen. A POPULAR clergyman was greatly bored by 9 lady who admired him with­ out reserTe. " Oh ! my dear Mr. said she, " there isn't any harm in one loving one'* pastor, is there ?" ""Cer­ tainly not, madam," replied the worthy cleric; "not the least in the world, so long as the feeling is not reciprocated." THE most hopeful physician is an Ohio doctor who refused to give a man up until after he had been buried seve­ ral days. The man the doctor held to was not a regular patient, but one that he had dug up in a graveyard for dis­ secting purposes. An irate relative with a shotgun persuaded the doctor to give the man up.--Texas Si/tings. BROOKLYN Eagle : "Ah," sighed the white-haired veteran, " the good old days are past, the well-remembered halcyon days when we were young and the cry ot the soap-fat man used to wake us up mornings. "Yes," returned his ven­ erable companion, " I shall never forget those soap-tat men. They're all in the oleomargarine business now." A LITTLE Chicago boy of 4 years was much astonished when he awoke one morning to tiud a little sister in his mother's arms. "Where did it come from?" he asked, with his eyes wide open. "From God?" was the reply. " Who brought it?" was the next very natural inquiry. "An angel." He thought for a moment, and then ex­ claimed: "Oh, mamma, why didn't you catch the angel, too?" THE sentiment of the honeymoon IS a frail thing, and after a while a man flops right tlirough it like a brick through a cobweb. A 3-mouths-old bride was rat­ tling away in her usual loquacious style, when her husband, forcing himself to appear not too severely tortured, said: "Don't you feel as if you were per­ iling your beauty by talking so much ? " " Why so, John?" she asked, with much surprise. "Because, precious, this is summer-time, and you might get your tongue sunburnt." THIS is the manner in which the Fargo Argus holds out the hunp for the vilest sinner: O rtluner who tbe long week through For mammon worketb well, Thy town site drop, likewise thy crop. List to the Sunday bell. It riugH the sale of golden laudn To all wlio'd 'st-iipo death's tlOOOi; Thuu O! invent auioug the blent. Catch 011 thi» heavenly boom. Come now and hear the blessed tale; Shake off thy reuta and stocks. And Incidentally don't forget Tbe missionary boa. good have little time fcr murmuring or complaint. WHAT one of the sex sayB : A little old maid confesses that the smallest women look hopefully to Hymen. Recovering from a Wound iu the Liver. A case is reported in the New Orleans Medical and Surgi'-al Journal (ta52) in which a boy 7 years of ago recovered from a wound in the liver, which seems to have been far more serious than the one inflicted tipon the President by the A PARIS journal says that Baron, the singer, is of an unusual height--so tall, indeed, that when he went the other day to consult a doctor about a severe cold in the head, the physician said, "My friend, you must have got your feet wet last year." OP THE 326 vessels lying at Havana the other week, over 200 were English aud just five were American. In about ten years more the sight of an American vessel in a foreign port will draw a crowd. --Detroit Free Press. A Fmmme Trick. A feminine trick, very common among foreigners at Bom©, Italy, is described •s follows: A lady goes to a milliner's and looks over her stock of bonnets. ftha seleote those which she thinks will suit her, and begs the milliner to send them to her the following morning that she may try them on at home and select the one which suits her. The poor mil­ liner consents. At 9 o'clock she sends the bonnets. The lady is not up. Will the "young woman " call again a little later? The "young woman" con- Bents to leave the*bonnets until 3 o'clock. What does my lady do then? She takes the bonnet she likes best to a little working milliner iu a back shop of a back street, and bids her make one ex­ actly like the model she leaves -.vith her until half past 2 o'clock, when she takes it baek to the grand milliner, saving that she is very sorry, but none of them "suit her." " MEAT can be prevented from sooamb* ing, during the roasting process, by simply placing a basin or cup of water in the oven. The steam generated not o^ly prevents scorching, but makes the meat cook nicer. A