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. • \ - < *- *'» < "vf- . y -•rvrrr^"^ * • * » . - . -inimnri n m -jui. 7 . ,• i'?|.i„5 • *,> :» ,•.+•.- ; - .* . 'f. Igcflcnvg flatttdcalet 1. VAN SLYKE, Editor w itf PubUatwr. MoHENRY, ILLINOIS. THE mining dividends of Arizona this year are nearly as great as those of Cali­ fornia. In all probability next year Arizona, in the matter of productive mines, will lead all the other States and Territories in the Union. THE creditors of the Glasgow Bank have now received 90 per cent, of their claims. Of 1,819 shareholders, only 269 remain. The others are ruined. Nearly 600 gave up all they had, and began the world again. To the trustees of the relief fund, which exceeded $1,950,000, there were 883 applications for aid. AN Austrian chemist is said to have devised a soporific, of which a few drops sprinkled on the head and face will stupefy a man in a few seconds. He gave it the name of "Tamer," and of­ fered to sell the secret of its prepara­ tion to the Austrian Government. But the Government has not only refused to purchase it, but has ordered the po­ lice authorities to formally order the in­ ventor to discontinue his experiments, and to abstain from using in any way his invention or communicating it to others. DANIEL WOODS, an Indianapolis scis­ sors-grinder, 104 years old, but hale and hearty still, loves to tell how he went from Nova Scotia, where he was born, to England, to serve under the Duke of Wellington in all his great campaigns. He took part in forty battles and skir­ mishes, including Waterloo. During his long service he received 132 sword cuts, a saber stab in the eye and eleven pistol or gunshot wounds. Since his re­ turn to America he has lived in Montre­ al, St. Albans, Boston, New York, Phil­ adelphia and Indianapolis. He has seventeen children, of whom the eldest surviving is 89, and the youngest, by a second wife, 23 years old. WIDOWER BELKNAP was President of the Cincinnati Lodge of Knights of the Pyramid, and the Widow Porter was Vice Presidents The society aimed at social improvement, and under all these circumstances it was natural that the widower and widow should agree to marry. Belknap is a dentist, and*he made the finest possible set of false teeth for Mrs. Porter, so that she might look her best as a bride. His daughter lent her $400 worth of diamonds, to further beautify her for the wedding. But when she had been thus embellished, she ran away with the teeth and jewels, and the police have not been able to find her. Bisaop PHILIP KLINQEN SMITH, of the Mormon church, who was mysteriously murdered recently, was one of the wit­ nesses against Bishop Lee in the Mount­ ain Meadow massacre trial. " I know," said Smith, after giving his testimony, " that the church will kill me, sooner or later, and I am as confident of that fact as that I am sitting on this rock. It's only a question of time ; but I'm going to live as long as I can." There is little reason to doubt that death came to him in the anticipated manner. Pity will be blunted, however, by the fact that he was himself a cruel participant in the massacre. His own son says that, be­ ing ordered by his father to kill a young girl, he refused, and that the father then clubbed her to death. THE death of Spotted Tail brings to light a romance of tragic interest in oonnectien with the favorite daughter of the old Sioux chief. Shortly after the war, a battalion of the Second Dragoons was ordered to Fort Laramie, and there Lieut. Brockhurst Livingston, of the well-known New York family, saw and loved the dusky girl and found his pas­ sion reciprocated. The young officer took her to his house and she bore him a son; but Livingston's health failed and he was ordered to Europe, where his mind became unsettled and he died. The Sioux girldied of a broken heart in 1866, after learning of his death, and was carried to Fort Laramie by her father and there buried. Her grave is still annually decorated with flowers by the soldiers. The mother of the young officer has sought to find and educate his son, but the Sioux, either because they have lost sight of him, or because they wish to keep him, give no trace of his whereabouts. GEMS OF THOUGHT. \ A man named Truesdale was detailed in a Kansas City elevator to shovel grain from one of the bins to the chute. Through this bin ran a perpendicular flange-screw elevator, which, being at­ tached to the shaft by a belt, was kept constantly in motion. By some acci­ dent the unfortunate man slipped while near it, and his foot, being caught in the rotating flange, was drawn down the shaft in which it works until the knee joint was level with the floor. Knowing that unless something was speedily done his whole body would be ground to pieces in this machine, he, with pres­ ence of mind that was extraordinary, raised his body until it reached the belt which turned the flange, and by sheer strength of muscle held the ma- chinery^still, thus putting his strength against the strength of a twenty-hojrse- power engine. In this condition, with his crushed and mangled limb still in the machine, he held out against the engine until he was rescued by other workmen, who had come to see what was the matter with the machinery. Truesdale, who will recover, is about six feet eight, and weighs 170 pounds. He is a giant in strength. of a new bankruptcy law. Such laws have usually been adopted in seasons of great business depression, and have proved to be unsatisfactory when the commercial conditions have changed. It is argued now that a law enacted when trade is prosperous, or at least normal, will work to better purpose. Mr. D. C. Bobbins, Chairman of the New York Chamber of Commerce com mittee on the subject, advises that un­ der the new law officers should as far as possible be compensated by fixed salaries instead of fees; that the power* of the Registers should be increased; that the | amount of indebtedness required to authorize voluntary proceedings should be at least $1,000; that composition set­ tlements should not be allowed to take the discharge of the bankrupt out of the control of the court, nor without the oonsent of a majority of the creditors in number and three-fourths in value; and that tli8 discretionary power of the court relating to the granting of discharges should be greatly enlarged. These modifications are important, and should receive the careful attention of Con­ gress. CLARA LOUISE KELLOGG deserves the thanks of the public for the plain and unequivocal manner in which she has exposed the shameful fact, long known to a few, that the career of many Ameri­ can girls who go to Italy for the pur­ pose of acquiring a musical education ends in the oomplete overthrow of their moral nature. Regarding this matter Miss Kellogg says: " Now comes the worst phase of the whole affair, and what I am about to say I say as truth, after the most careful investigation of the fact. As a rule, the poor girl finds in the end that she has little hope of ac­ quiring public success; and I say that she is too often set upon by a certain unscrupulous set of men infesting these cities who will do all in their power, un­ der promise of engagements, to lead her away where her associations Will be such that she will be morally destroyed. Even if she has a good, but not great, voice, she can probably obtain no pub­ lic appearance except on two conditions --she must buy her way in or she must submit to the demands of those influen­ tial friends of the management whose word is law at the theaters. This is plain speaking, but I tell you my inves­ tigations, the stories and tears of poor girls who came to me in Italy and told me their sad tales, made me vow that I would open my mouth and speak of this through the land when I came home." PRECIOUS STONES. AH attempt will be made at the next session of Congress to secure the passage WONDKBOUS strong are the spells of fiction. BEWARE of the fury of a patient man. --Dryden. O. MEMORY, thou slng'Rt an endless muss Through All the lonely chambers of the heart. A SHOT that hits is better than a broadside that misses. WHAT'S gone and what's past help, should be past grief. THE chains which cramp us most are those which weigh on us least. TRAVEL improves superior wine and spoils poor; it is the same with the brain. NATURE has sometimes made a fool; but a coxcomb is always of a man's own making. IF IDLENESS do not produce vice or malevolence,, it oommonly produces mel­ ancholy. EACH man has an aptitude born with him to do easily some feat impossible to any other. MANNERS are the hypocrisies of na­ tions ; the hypocrisies are more or less perfected. CALUMNY spreads like an oil-spot; we endeavor to cleanse it, but the mark remains. IT IS with happiness as with watches --the less complicated the less easily deranged. ANNOYANCE is man's leaven; the ele­ ment of movement, without which we should grow mouldy. To ACQUIRE a few tongues is the task of a few years, but to be eloquent in one is the labor of a lifetime. WHEN death consents to let us live a long time, it takes successively as host­ ages all those we have loved. AN irritable {man lies like a hedgehog rolled up the wrong way, tormenting himself with his own prickles. A VIGOROUS mind is as necessarily ac­ companied with violent passions as a great fire with great heat.--Burke. A MAN'S idolatry is for an idea, a wo­ man's is for a person. A man suffers for a monarchy, a woman for a King. EXPERIENCE shows that success is due less to ability than to zeal. The winner is he who gives himself to his work body and soul. IT IS more from carelessness about the truth than from intentional lying, that there is so much falsehood in the world. --Johnson. WHAT is opportunity to the man who can't use it? An unfecundated egg, which the waves of time wash away into nonentity. THE good things of life are not to be had singly, but come to us with a mix­ ture ; like a schoolboy's holiday, with a task affixed to the tail. I LOVE that tranquility of soul in wbioh we feel the blessing of existence, and which in itself is a prayer and thanksgiving. --Longfellow. COUNSEL is not so sacred a thing as praise, since the former is only useful among men, bat the latter is for the most part reserved for the gods. WITH the world do not resort to in­ juries, but only to irony and gayety; injury revolts, while irony makes one reflect, and gayety disarms.-- Voltaire. IT IS the slowest pulsation which is the most vital. The hero will then know how to wait as well as to make haste. All good abides with him who waiteth wisely. THE following verdict was given by a coroner's jury in Canada : " We are of A Pinion that the Decest met his death from Violant Information in the Arm, producst from Unoan Cauz." The " in- firmation" contained in the verdict is about as "violant" as that which at­ tacked the arm of the " decest." WHAT a pity flowers can utter no sound j A Singing rose, a whispering violet, a murmuring honeysuckle--oh, what a rare and exquisite miracle would these be.--Beecher, The VharsctoilitiM bf Whick Inrel- era Caa Reeoptlae Diaman* Bandied ky Thein. A New York reporter interviewed Mr. Andrews, of Tiffany's. " How are you to identify unset diamonds ?" the re­ porter asked. " Here, now, is a dia­ mond," he said, holding up a flashing yellow crystal as big as a pigeon's egg; "that is one of the remarkable diamonds of the world, and could be identified anywhere. It weighs 125 carats, and is worth §30,000. While yellow diamonds are plentiful, yet there are few with a clear, decided tint like this; and it is pe­ culiar in its cutting, from the fact that it has two rows of facets from the girdle, or largest circu mference of the stone, to the table, as the flat top of the stone is called. In the ordinary style of cutting a brilliant there is only one row of faoets between girdle and table. Here is a diamond," picking up a brilliant clear as a drop of dew and flashing with colors like a rainbow, " that weighs only two and one-half carats, and it is yet worth $1,500, from the fact that it is of the purest water. A diamond as notable as this we could positively identify from its characteristics. Here is another," pick­ ing up a yellow stone, " that weighs nearly as much, two and three-fourths carats, and is yet worth only $275, be­ cause of its color. Yellow diamonds are hard to identify by appearance, because they are so plentiful. Diamonds come of all colors, pink, blue and brown being rare and worth much more than yellow. The pure white, free from stain or flaw, is the most valuable of all. Odd colors are so rare that they afford a ready means of identification. Here is a black diamond," he said, holding up a large brilliant that oddly combined perfect transparency with a blackish tint; "this is one of the largest and best black diamonds in the world. It weighs five carats, and is worth $2,500. Now, here," picking up a beautiful diamond of a clear pink hue, "is a curiosity, that we could readily identify anywhere. It weighs eight carats, less a sixteenth, and is worth $5,000. The color is a rare one, and it is exquisitely pure. Here is another extraordinary diamond." He showed a large pearl-shaped stone of a cinnamon color. "That is an East Indian gem, and is very old. Although it weighs seventeen carats it is not worth as much as the smaller pink brilliant, on account of its color. Its value is $4,000. Such marKed stones as those I have shown you we could positively identify by their characteristics. But there would be no means of identifying such stones as these," he said, as he poured a handful of small diamonds on the table. They were nearly all off color, and of small size. " How, then, do you avoid mistakes and protect yourself against fraudulent claims when you take diamonds to set ?" "In the first place, we will have nothing to do with paste, no matter what price might be offered us to set it. Nobody in the store is allowed to wear a paste gem, and if by mistake a paste brilliant is taken in at the repair counter it is immediately sent back to the owner. That rarely happens. Some time ago, when we refused to reset a stone on the ground that it was paste, the owner was greatly surprised to hear that it was not genuine. The lady investigated the matter, and found that a dishonest ser­ vant had removed the diamond and sub­ stituted a paste gem. She had never known the difference, although an ex­ pert does not hesitate a moment in pro­ nouncing upon the genuineness of a stone. " When a diamond is brought to us," Mr. Andrews went on, "it goes imme­ diately into the hands of an expert who gives it microscopic scrutiny. It is weighed, any chip or flaw is noted, and all these facts are recorded together with a little diagram indicating the location of the defects. Then it goes into the workman's hands. This enables us to be certain that we are returning exactly the same diamond that we take in. No one diamond in a thousand is free from flaws, BO that there are always identify­ ing characteristics. People are fre­ quently surprised to find their diamonds have defects, but it is often the case that the cutter will leave in a flaw that can be covered by the setting, as very fre­ quently the cutting out of a defect would lose a half %feirat or more of weight." "Will diamonds chip off in wear­ ing?" " Very rarely. You may lay a dia­ mond on an anvil and strike it with a hammer and it will not break. At the same time a diamond has a |grain, and a blow that happens to strike it along the line of cleavage may clip it. Most of the defects in stones are natural. Per­ fect pearls are even rarer than perfect diamonds. I recollect that a dealer once brought to us a collection of pearls valued at $250,000, and there was only one absolutely perfect one in the lot. The rarity of perfect pearls makes us con­ sider this one of our most extraordinary pieces of jewelry." He showed a pearl necklace, the pearls ranging in size from peas to filberts. Fliey were all perfectly round, and some were iridescent. " Those we call Orients," he said, "and they are extremely rare. The necklace is wortli $35,000. '_ 8he Hade a Mistake. An individual in a dress coat, orna­ mented with a sparse array of brass but­ tons and a star, and a single stripe across his cuffs, was sweeping and circling about the room in the last of the new- step waltzes, and naturally attracted at­ tention. He was introduced to one blue- blooded young lady, whostiflly informed him that she was not dancing that even­ ing, and froze up his further utterances with an icy stare. As he left, she turned with celestial ire in her countenance and said: "How dare they introduce a Pullman- car conductor to me? The impudence ! Think of my dancing with him ! " " My dear, ignorant, land-lubberly lass from the interior," said the con­ vulsed recipient of the angry burst, j " don't you know he is a Master of the United States navy, the greatest social swell that breathes, always excepting that most magnificent and god-like creature, a Lieutenant of marines ? " "I don't believe it," she said, crim­ soning. "Where's his sword and his gold lace and trimmings ? He has l>or- rowed that coat from his waiter and sewed the buttons on the tail of it him­ self, or else he is a conductor. I know he is a fraud when I see him walk." Argument was powerless to convince the young woman that she had commit­ ted social suicide and committed^ the biggest blunder of the season, or that the modestly-ornamented coat was really what officers call the "social" uniform, and not the gorgeous garment of full dress.--St. Louis Globe. A Hot Climate. A British officer's wife in Burin ah de­ scribes the climate by this incident: "A friend gave my husband some owl's eggs, which he left in a plate in the drawing-room, the coolest place in the house, being in the center and sur­ rounded by other rooms. The eggs were on a table in the corner, and were forgotten Some days after I saw one of the eggs moving, and slightly chipped. Presently out came a little owlet. The other eggs followed suit, till they were all hatched. This may seem impossible to any one who has not lived where the thermometer is generally 105 degrees! " ILLINOIS NEWS. BONA TONO, a Chinese portrait paint­ er, has opened a studio in Chicago. A NEW bank, controlling a capital of at least $1,000,000, is soon to be estab­ lished in Chicago. A fiELViDEitE physician reports more sickness in that town this season *lmn ever known before. SPRING chickens and fresh eggs the year round is the aim of a firm at Joliet, with patent incubatory. ' THE Chicago House of Correction has earned $40,000 this year by the labor system. It goes into the city treasury. THE old settlers of Adams and Brown counties had their annual reunion at Clayton. There was a large attendance. ONE of the waiters at a well-known Chicago oyster-house and restaurant is a college graduate, who speaks six modern languages. THE proprietors of thirteen restaurants and hotels, in Bloomington, have de­ cided to increase the price of meals from 25 cents to 35 cents. THE big jump in the price of corn is beginning to affect the Peoria distiller­ ies, and several of them are preparing to diminish production. ALONZO BUNOE, practicing as a physi­ cian at Decatur, lias been held in $300 for failing to take out a license from the State Board of Health. REV. G. W. RILEY, who for forty years has been a leader in the councils of the Baptist church of died in Urbana, of sporadic cholera. THE new elevator at Peoria is one of the most sightly objects on the river. Steambtkt passengers can see it for miles before arriving in the city. A MAN named Baker, while crossing Fifth street, in Alton, was shot in the back bv an unknown man standing on the sidewalk, who has not been capt­ ured. THE Springfield Journal has taken a survey of building improvements in progress in that city, and estimates that they call for an investment of not less than $600,000. THE old settlers of Knox county held their annual meeting at Knoxville. The Hon. J. F. Hubbell, of Altona, presid­ ed, and O. L. Campbell, of the Knox County Republican, acted as secretary. A YOUNG man named James B. Craig, was leaning over and looking down the shaft of the coal mine at Centralia, when a descending cage struck him, crushing his head and causing instant death. CAPT. SAMUEL RYDER, who has been for upward of twenty-eight years a steamboat Captain on the Mississippi, Missouri, Red and Illinois rivers, died at his home in Griggsville, in his 66th year. GEORGE NEILSON, agent of the Anchor steamship line, shot himself dead in the Windsor Hotel, at Chicago. He left a letter announcing the loss of $100 by gambling, and stating that he could not stand the exposure of the fact. CAPT. WILLIAM A. HALL, lately de­ ceased at Peoria. ag^jjL£3, was a" gun­ smith by profession, and in this capacity was employed at Fort Dearborn (now Chicago), Pittsburgh and other Govern­ ment forts. His daughter was the first white child born in Chicago. IN almost every case, this .year, in Peoria, where a railroad company has brought suit for the condemnation of property for the right of way, the jury have awarded a less amount than the company offered before commencing suit. THE eye disease which has been af­ fecting horned cattle in Logan county has broken out in the vicinity of Bloom­ ington. The inflammation and watery condition of the eyes results in suppura­ tion, followed by a whitish discharge, which often destroys the sight. NEAR Maroa, Macon county, Lew Tin­ gle, aged 20, accidentally shot himself while hunting. From appearances he seemed to have been crawling through a hedge, dragging his gun after him, when the hammer caught, causing the gun to discharge a heavy load of shot into his side, from which he died imme­ diately. DURING the quarter ending June 30, 1881, there were arrested in Chicago by the police force 8,224 persons, of whom 0,334 were males and 1,910 were females. During the same time $34,377 worth of property was stolen, and of this sum $21,036 worth was recovered. There was also recovered $12,084 worth of property the loss of which was not made known to the police. The persons ar­ rested were fined in the aggregate $38,413. A VERY mysterious assassination oc­ curred in Washington county. A farmer named D. Drue, living about eight miles from Nashville, while sleeping on a bed near the door of his house, was awak­ ened about 10 o'clock at night by the discharge of a gun, and, as he raised up to ascertain the cause, received a charge of shot in the head which blew nearly all the top part of his skull off, killing him instantly. No clew to the murder­ er. Drue was in quite moderate cir­ cumstances, and was not known to have any enemies. THE staid city of Bloomington has something in the shape of a social sensa­ tion. Miss Vina Farley, of that place, has commenced suit against Mr. Edward B. Gridley for breach of promise of mar­ riage, laying damages at $25,000. Miss Farley avers that Gridley, who. by the way, was lately married* to Miss Ora Walton, the daughter of a wealthy Bloomingtonian, promised to marry Iter on the 29th of last October, and twice since that time promised that she should be his wife. The Bloomington gossips are enjoying the affair, and expect to enjoy the trial of the case still more. THE following order to the State militia has been issued by the Governor: GKVEBAI. HliMXjUABTUlK HTATB OF ILLINOIS,' AIURTANT GKNF.BAL'S OFFICE, New Democratic Issues. It will puzzle the platform-makers in the next convention that represents * * the great national Democratic party of the Union " to construct one that will repre­ sent all the new issues that have recently been hatched in the different States. So many new-fangled notions have been adopted into the old creed that Democ­ racy now looks like the spotted horse in the circus, which the boys admire so much. The Bourbon party has long re­ sembled the trick-mule, which every candidate who has tried it has failed to ride into power since the days when poor old Buchanan allowed the Southern traitors to proceed with their diabolical work under the spurious plea that a State could not be coerced. Nearly all the old issues that Democ­ racy was formerly so proud of have been abandoned, and new and strange theo­ ries--strange to the unsophisticated Bourbon mind--are finding adherents in the different States. In Ohio, for ex­ ample, the party is running a renegade Republican on a high-tariff platform, and is placing hide and seek with the Prohibitionists. In New York such recognized friends of the dear people as Tilden, Sehell, Belmont and Company will raise the cry of civil-service reform and anti-monopoly. In Wisconsin the leaders advise the abandonment of the old party entirely, and the inauguration of a new one on a semi-Republican basis. Down in Mississippi, where the Democratic practice was to quietly re­ move opposing candidates for office with the use of the shot-gun, ac­ cording to the Yazoo plan, they now proclaim equal rights to all, with­ out respect to race, color or previous condition. The party leaders in South Carolina declare that, as a matter of ex­ pediency, they consider it wise to quit killing negroes simply because they are Republicans, which is almost as undem­ ocratic as allowing a negro to marry your daughter. In North Carolina the good old whisky-loving party has recently been masquerading in the stolen gar­ ments of total abstinence. In Virginia they have devised the new way of pay­ ing the State debt by first cheating the creditor out of a portion of his just dues by the soaling-down process, and fore* ing him to accept a 3-per-cent. bond, and then practically repudiating the whole debt, principal and interest, by refusing to levy a tax. Happily, here in Illinois that party is too dead to have any opinions worth mentioning, and Car­ ter H. Harrison is its only prophet, with the editors of the Quincy Herald and the Bloomington Bulletin as its chief organs. V All the old traditions of the partwseem to have been abandoned, aud all tlflp old battle-cries hushed to silence. In \ the different States those in command are trying to invent new issues that will win popular support, but are no sooner tried than given up. Better turn the old thing over to the possession of Mr. Tilden, clad iu its Dolly Varden cos­ tume, and let him manage it for his own benetit. He is the only man in it that has shown any capacity for leadership, infirm and paralytic though he may lie, and is the only person who seems ac­ quainted with its subterranean methods aud possibilities. Modern Democracy is like an undeveloped silver mine; it requires a large amount of ready capital to work it successfully, and the man with the well-tilled " bar'l" is the only person who ought to risk ab investment. --Chicago Journal. [NOIiO ICE, V J SPRINGFIFCLI), 11)., Allg. ly, 1881. General Older No. 6.--1. Iu view of the fact that insufficient appropriation baa been made to carry out paragraph a, section 1, of article 4, of the " Military Code of Ilhnout," in refer­ ence to holding annual encampments, the Com- mandcr-in-Chief will not order a general en­ campment of the Illinoiti National Guard this year. 2. Encampments will be ordered for brigades, regiments, battalions and companies upon tbe request of the brigade commanders, at such localities where the citizens desire to furnish free transportation and subsistence, or at such localities as may be deemed advisable by the brigade commanders, where free transportation ean be provided. 8. There being no provision for the payment of the services of officers and men, they mnst be voluDtary for the four days' encampment. Camp and garrison equipage will be famished by the State. 8. M. CCLLOM, Commander-in-Chief. J. H. ELLIOTT, Adjutant General. Are They Short of Sand? The Quincy Herald has repeated and emphasized its disgraceful assaults upon the dying President. Last week it said: We believe Gnitean to be just as honorable a* the man he .shot, and a mighty sight lew dangerous to tho country at large than the plausible, smooth-tongued, unprincipled man who, with a sniffle find pious groan, would turn from a prayer to take a bribe, commit perjury, or steal a Presidency. These ruffianly words were rebuked, as they deserved to be, by the press of the whole country without distinction of party. It was supposed that the Quin­ cy miscreant hud been shamed into silence. But he has not been. He has attempted to justify the offense. The Herald of Tuesday contains an article of two columns tilled with twaddle and foul abuse of the President. The vil­ lainous words of the first article are quoted and stuck to, and the scurvy scoundrel further says : If to thwart by fraud the legally-expressed will of the people, if by monstrous villainy to bring about a reversal of a national election, be not treason to one's Government, then is there no such thing as treason upon earth. This Mr. Garfield did do. And in our opinion an intrigu­ ing, scheming, plotting traitor is as despicable as an assassin. A traitor strikes at all tbe peo­ ple of the nation; au assassin raises his hand against but one. A traitor assaults the Govern­ ment; an assassin an individual. And we place republican government infinitely above alt the Garflelds that ever have or over will see the light of day. James A. Garfield assaulted, most infamously, the Government bf the United States. Charles Guitean assaulted one Garfield. This is why we said the little villain was as hon­ orable as the greater one, and much less dan­ gerous to the country at large. The Quincy Whig justly remarks that "The editor of the Herald exhibits such a degree of sottisliness, of vulgari­ ty and ghoulishness, as is a disgrace to journalism, a disgrace to society, a scan­ dal to his party, and such as was never before exhibited by a public journal in any civilized community;" The object of the Herald ruffian plainly is to make himself notorious, even though it be in an infamous way. Among 50,000,000 people in all the land, no other man has deemed this a fitting time to utter such disgraceful and slanderous sentiments, much less to spread them broadcast in a newspaper. It was reserved for a Quincy Copperhead editor to sound depths of degradation in the Democratic party that have never before been reached. The vile Quincy creature, in concluding liis screed, defiantly asks his " Republican friends " iu the neighborhood, *' What are you going to do about it ? " That is precisely the questiou it is desired to have answered by Gen. Garfield's com­ rades in arms in Adams county. " What are they going to do about it ? " Shall it be written that they are shortof sand? --Chicago Tribune. Tilden and His Barrel. Samuel Jones Tilden is now busily engaged in " ciphering" out the various movements necessary to make him the mastodon of the Democratic party in 1884; and the Bourbon leaders who thought him permanently crushed by the Cincinnati Convention are likely to find themselves as sadly mistaken as was the boy who carefully picked up a bald-faced hornet by the wrong end, on the supposition that from that point it could not bite him. Samuel is not only a "cipherer," but also a sly schemer. The Governorship of the State of New York is the first step toward securing the Democratic Presidential nomination in 1884. Chairman Manning and a ma­ jority of the members of the Democratic State Central Committee bow at his nod. Forsaking tho ground of "reform is nec­ essary," Tilden has been quietly at work for months conciliating all factions of the party likely to put obstructions in his path, and from John Kelly down to insignificant ward bummers the Tilden olive branch has had a wonderful effect. The next step in the programme is to hold an early convention at Albany or Saratoga, and the candidate of Mr. Manning's committee for Secretary - of State must be nominated and elected this year if Mr. Tilden is Governor next. When the latter part of the pro­ gramme is reached the road to the Pres­ idential nomination is expected to be without obstacles. The Republicans of New York have already seen the cipher­ ing on the wall, and are organizing to defeat the triumph of a man who for years and years worked hand and hand with the Tweed thieves, and whose cipher dispatches in 1876 should cause him to be a stench in the nostrils of all decent people.--Lansing Republican. Daniel Webster's First Plea. Ebenezer Webster, father of Daniel, was a farmer. The vegetables in his tarden suffered considerably from the epredations of a woodchuck whose hole and habitation was near the premises. Daniel, some 10 years old, and his broth­ er had set a trap, and at last succeeded in catching the trespasser. Ezekiel pro­ posed to kill the animal and end at once all further trouble with him; but Daniel looked with compassion upon his meek, dumb captive, and offered to let him go. The boys could not agree, and each ap­ pealed to their father to decide the case. " Well, my boys," said the old gentle­ man, "I Will be the Judge and you shall be the counsel to plead his case for and against his life and liberty." Ezekiel opened the case with a strong argument, urging the mischievous na­ ture of the animal, the great harm he had already done, said that much time and labor had been spent in his capture, and now, if suffered to go at large, he would renew liis depredations and lie cunning enough not to be caught again, and that he ought now to be put to death ; that his skin was of some value, and that, make the most of liim tliey could, it would not repay half the dam­ age he had already done. His argument was ready, practical and to the point, and of much greater length than our limit will allow us to occupy iu relating the story. The father looked with pride-. upon his son, whobecameadistinguishecF jurist in his manhood. "Now, Daniel, it's your turn; I'll hear what you've got to say." It was his first case. Daniel saw that the plea of his brother had affected his father, the Judge; and his large, brilliant black eyes rested upon the soft, ̂ mid expression of the animal, and he saw it trembled with fear in its narrow prison- house. His heart swelled with pity, and he appealed with eloquent words that the captive might go free. God, he said, had made the woodchuck; He made him to live, to enjoy the bright sunshine and pure air, the fields, the woods. God had not made him or anything in vain. The woodchuck had as much right to live as any other living thing; he was not a destructive animal, like the wolf; he simply ate a few common vegetables, of which they had plenty, and could well spare a part; he destroyed nothing ex­ cept the little food he ate to sustain his humble life ; and that the food was as sweet to him and as necessary to his existence as was to them the food on their mother's table. God furnished their own food. He gave them all they possessed, and would they not spare a little for a dumb creature who really had as muoh right to his small snare of God's bounty as thfcy them­ selves had to their portion ? Yea, more, the animal had never violated the laws of his nature, or the laws of God, as man often did, but strictly followed the sim­ ple instincts he had received from the Creator of all things. Created by God's hands, ho had a right from God to food, to liberty, and they had no right to de­ prive him of either. He alluded to the mute but earnest pleading of the animal for that life as dear to him as was their own, and the just judgment they might expect if, in selfish cruelty and cold- heartedness, they took the life they could not restore again. During the appeal the tears had start­ ed in the old man's eyes, and were run­ ning down his sunburnt cheeks. Every feeling of a father's heart was stirred within him, and he felt that Goa had blessed him beyond the lot of common men. His pity was awakened bv the eloquent words of compassion anil the strong appeal for mercy; and, forgetting the Judge in the man and the father, he sprang from his chair (while Daniel was in the midst of his argument, without thinking he had already won his case), < and turning to his eldest son, dashing the ten's from liis eyes, he exclaimed, "Zeke, Zeke, you let that woodchuck go!" Both Sides of a Bridge. "Say, mister, are we on this side of the bridge or the other?" asked a placid old lady of a gentleman on a Court-street car. " We are on this side," responded the gentleman, gravely. " Laws me! Then we ain't anywhere near Greenwood Cemetery yet ?" "Yes, madam, we are within a few squares of it." " Bakes a massy! I thought Green­ wood was on the other side of the bridge !" "No, madam; it is on this side t" " Well, that pesky conductor told me it was on the other side when we start­ ed. " * " It was, madam, on the other side then, but we have crossed the bridge." " Then we are on the other side?" "No, madam, we are on this side of the bridge. We've passed it." "And is Greenwood on the other side?"she asked, starting up in some a!arm. " No, it is on this side." " Don't try to fool me with your non­ sense !" exclaimed the old lady, indig­ nantly. "Don't try to make me think that Greenwood is on this side of the bridge when I know better, and don't try to make me believe I'm on this side of the bridge when I know I'm on the other ! Don't ye do it! You want to be careful how you amuse yourself with me, or I'll fit ye with a new set of ribs !" and the old lady shook her umbrella in warning as to the source of the addi­ tional physiological development. "The idea," she continued, turning to the other passengers, "of trying to muddle an old woman who might be his mother ! I'll bridge ye, both sides, in a minute. Conductor, just as soon as I get on this side of the bridge you let me out, or this will be your tombstone trip to Greenwood !" And the dame straightened back and glared defiance, while her well-meaning informant concluded that it wasn't too warm for him to walk to his destination. --Brooklyn Eagle. PEOPLE should avoid, as far as possi­ ble, being run over by railroad cars. An empty platform car weighs 18,000 pounds; an empty box car, 20,000 pounds ; a passenger car, 36,000 pounds, and sometimes more; and an average locomotive, 80,000 pounds. A single pai»of car-wheels weighs 500 pounds. PITH ABTD POIHT. < Kntiro SELLERS--peanut veadenk } - • WONDER if a noise annoys an oystiiL IF a boy gets on the wrong track it shows that his father's switch has not had a fair chance. !*» : MEN are like pins. One with a HTF# head may be just as sharp as one with a t big head. Som men go fishing to get uj some don't; those that don't generally get what they go for. " Do YOU think youH be able to poll through ?" anxiously inquired thi needle of the thread. "Eye guess so," was the curt response. SAYS a contemporary, describing an arrest: " He accompanied the polio* quietly to the lock-up, where our re­ porter happened to be at the time." FOND mother: "Is blowing afish horn likely to result in injury to jaiat boy?" " You wager it is, ma'am, if ha blows it near us and we can catch him*" YOUNG LOVER asks: "When is the best time to travel ?" When you see the old man and his bulldog coming round the corner, sir, travel for all yon are worth. MRS. SPBioonra, when she read of the failure of the Universal Life Insurance Company, eagely remarked that aha never did think much of "them Univcar- , salists." • ,, * "THAT'S what I call a finished ser­ mon," said a lady to her husband, as' they wended their way from church. " Yes," was the reply; "but do you know, I thought it never would be." SUPERFLUOUS--"And so yon leam dancing, Bob ? And how do you valsing?" " Oh, it's not so bad! I «•» manage very well myself, but I think- a girl's rather in the way."--Punch. "ETIQUETTE" writes to inquire if, in our opinion, it would be proper for him to support a young lady if she was taken with a faint--even if he hadn't been in­ troduced. Proper, young man? Cer­ tainly, prop her by all means. "ANNIE," said a fond husband to his wife, "what were the ennent expenses for last month ? " "Oh," she answered, "only 28 cents." "Why, how was that?" "Well, you see I only baked cakes twice, and, therefore, used very few currants." NOT long ago, in a Franc' provincial theater, a baritone made a fearful croak. Hisses and laughter in the audience. Then the artist came gravely forward and saluted the audience: " Messieurs, I discover I have issued a false note ; X withdraw it from circulation." IN the parlor, staying late, Harry fingers with his fate, Till her ma, who cannot steep, Calls, •' What time is it yon keep?* Harry, thinking RIH- would get Time exact her watch to net, Answers, with an air sublime: " Do you wish to know the time?" •4 Do you know it ?" sharp she cries. " Yes'm, ' Hwcetly he replies. " I didn't think you did, young maa; But if you do, just tell my Ann." "A FARMER," says an agricultural paper, "does not need so many hands since the invention of the reaping ma­ chine. " No, l>y the teeth of the dragon; and as a rule he does not have so many by about one-half. And if he has so many hands, ten to one he hasn't so many fingers. THE threshing machine has robbed country life of one of its most exhila­ rating pleasures. In the good old days when the flail was the vogue the city visitor could retire to the barn, and, in one short half hour get more bangs and bruises than he can now acquire all day in the diamond field.--Boston 7Va» script. " I DECLARE if there isn't the deacon's daughter out with a bran new shawl. Well, I never." " Hush !" said a bettor- informed female; " tisn't hers. It's one she borrowed from the company that's visiting over t' the deacon's. " Well, there's one thing I know. She can't depend on borrowing to look well in heaven. She'll have to wear her own angel plumage when she gets there." And they both bowed their heads as the minister opened the services. -- New Haven Register. 'TWAS a sultry and muggy day, bat the agent, wiping the perspiration from his low but somewhat-manly brow, and, throwing his linen duster back, began : "Madam, is your husband about?" "Yes, he's about, but I tend to all agents that show themselves 'round here. What is it?" "I'm introducing a threshing-machine in this neighbor­ hood, and--" " Not in this neighbor­ hood, you ain't, if I knov it I'm com­ petent to do all the thrashing that's needed on this farm. You ask my boys, Bill and Sam, and, if you don't believe them, ask my man just over in the lot there," and a slight advance that she made in his direction suggested to nim that he had better move on before she tried her power on him.--New Haven Register. A Thoasamd Dollars a llii^e. Mr. Eddy, the veteran patent soliaitot of Boston, is a regular encyclopedia of incidents referring to inventors. He tells of a man named Hurd, who be­ longed in Stoneham, who realized 830,- 000, and gave to the world one of the most valuable inventions ever produced --all the result of only about half an hour's thought. His invention was the machine now everywhere used for ex- extracting molasses from sugar. When the idea occurred to him he sketched it down and gave it to Mr. Eddy, and au­ thorized him to take out a patent. Re­ turning home, he forgot all about the matter and applied himself to other affairs. Subsequently a gentleman en­ gaged in the sugar business saw the in­ vention in Mr. Eddy's office, and at once appreciated its value. The solicitor was instructed to purchase the patent, whioh he supposed lie could do for a moderate sum. The first offer of $1,000 was re­ fused, and not until the figure of $30,- 000 was reached did Mr. Hurd surren­ der. The machine is used in all tho sugar countries of the world. Mr. Rob­ ertson, who was the American Consul at Hague, and the Aspinwalls, of New Yen, made millions out of the inrM*-- tion.--Boston Herald. u. t THE height of the earth's atmosphere, according to the result arrived at by M. Laudier from his various investigations, is 22,000 miles, instead of 250, as pre­ viously named. He corroborates this calculation by showing that the height at which meteoric matter becomes in­ candescent, on approaching the earth, is far beyond the distance heretofore as­ signed to it, and therefore there mnst be an atmosphere of tbat greater distance, to produce the incandescence. He also accounts for the spectrum of the aurora borealis "showing a marked coincidence with that of the zodiacal light, by th* theory that, since the earth travels in the zodiactd nebulosity from September to May, the rarefied atmosphere Ivvood the earth's heavy envelope of air must absorb some of the constituents elements of the zodiacal nebulosity, and thus these elements make their presence ap­ parent in the spectrum of the sure*#, which phenomenon occurs in the ratified outer envelop*. % 'I «** "J 1 tit';., •rf ^ ' ' &>: vat";