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V ^ A CONOKIMNAN CORRNTBlt, ONfMNDin Daggett telli ft good jM\,%tory of Senator Sharon, which In print­ ed in a Nevada paper. It wemi that whan Sharon It not strictly sober he v'juijbeoooies loqnaolooa and hi* strong ot fs history and poetry* He wae Inlnf with a lot of lilemrv sharps m iiBoaton, once, and although he was in­ troduced to tl>em all he forgot their Ml vtHMiM, and after the wine had cirenint- * jed freely for a while, Sharon joined V*11 lln (be conversation very liberally. A historical Incident was alluded to by '*H'" Mhio when a quiet man of venerable ap- pssrsnrr corrected Sharon's statement. |V • ifriia Senator wa» quite Indignant and ^•'•••"••;t«iented the Interruption, and even After the dinner was over the fancied „J|iijury rankled In Ills breast. He went jo the host and asked: "Who Is that blank old fool that tried to teach me history r "Hit name Is Bancroft;" quietly re­ plied the host. ••What does he do ?" asked Sharon. aHe writes uhtorles for a living." "What ? Bancroft's History of the Tnlted States?" "Yes." »Great Scott! Won't yon W good enough to order my Carriage ?" fg^The other day as Mr. John Lar* »on wusiiatiling manure at Stiliman t fValley from a yard, he found a $10 and f3!0 gold piece gllstning In the heap. 4 e identified them fulSy and looked for l» bowl #600 more, which should be with the gold. It will be remembered that . the man lost Ills pocket book contain­ ing between $600 and $700 and adver­ tised for the same in tlie Register. These two gold pieces were among the money,the rest were bills. The theo­ ry, which Is probably the correct one is that he dropped the pocket book' in the pile; that some of the cattle fonnd It and chewed up all that was waschew- ftble. but could not make its teeth oper* ate on the gold, and so left that, the only remnant of a small fortune. Wh^ ther the*'crltter" gave a richer quality of milk from her high living cannot be ascertained, but it was a meal that very .few barnyard beasts have an oppor­ tunity of digesting. If we had that cow we should certainly kill her. for «lie Is too hlghtoned to live.--Rockford Megiater. t He Couldn't Stand ̂nor Inc. The organ-blower in a London church recently fell asleep dnring the service, of which fact the andience soon became conscious by the vigorous blowing of Ills own organ. Rev. A. Hill, the preacher, after bearing It for a while, •topped and remarked: *"I do not ob­ ject to a quiet nap on a hot day. and Ma flattered at being able tfl -eestrifc- tite to anyhodys repose; bat, while , -ftrond at being able to give the belov­ ed sleep, 1 wish it distinctly understood 4liat I draw the line at snorers. There K- Is a man snoring in the congregation. |N Juid I shall be obliged if somebody will r*J»ken him." The offender was quick- : ^fjr aroused. . MP»The life Insurance thngs of Penn­ sylvania deserve a sharp course of law. There have been scores of cases lately In which old or sick men have been fraudulently Insnred for the benefit of the parties insuring them, and in some rases their death has been hastened, for the purpose of getting the insur­ ance. In one case the man to be bene­ fitted by the death of the person insur­ ed gave him all the free liquor he want­ ed, and so hastened his death. Anoth­ er old man or eighty was insured, and then sent on errands along a dangerous railroad track, in hopes he would be tn over. Equestrianism. J. C. Choate. the popular variety mer­ chant of Woodstock, offers a special pre­ mium for the best exhibition ot skill by any lady in riding, one pair of ele­ gant Driving Gloves. Also to her es- OortfOne nobby fall style hat. A. 8. WEIGHT, Rec'y. M(-Henry Co. Ag'l B. BOW TO GKT RICK. Szpose ypurself day and night; eat too much without exercise; work too 1'sr 'l without rest; doctor all the time ; take all the vile nostrums advertises!; and then you will want to know. Mow To cot WolL Which It answered in these words --Take Hop Bitters! % See another col umn. iV- • IV J. DACT. " JOHN DONOVAIC. UDacjHo. It is an open secret, well known to the farmers of Mc­ Henry county, that during the last 12 years ours has been the only Agricultural Warehouse in the county where everything in our line needed on the farm, from a pouud of the best Barbed Wire to a Threshing Machine could l>e obtained at all times without notice. It was thought by those who knew us least, that the destruction of our Ware­ house by fire a year ago, would cripple us. Instead of doing so, it has given us new life and vigor so that we are now better pre­ pared than ever before to under- sell our (would be) competitors. Our Spring stock is by far the largest and best in the county, %nd we are selling so close that it is a rare thing to see any one looking at our goods and going awaj without buying. & Our present exhibit opisists of Plows, Harrows, Sparing-tooth Parrows, Pulverizers, Rollers, Stalk Cutters, 16 in. Sulky Plows Seeders Diills^ live and six Shovel,Corn Cultivators, the best Zegal BJII bed Wire, Lumber Wagons, 3 spring Milk Wagons, Platform spring Wagons, and about 300 Carriages An exanii- notion of our stock will fully sustain our claims T. J, DACY&CO. Woodstock, III & Would respectfully invite an examination QCiiheir stock of DRESS GOODS. YANKEE NOTIONS, &c, (Which are being offered at very low prices, ur stock is repl ete in all the variety of Goods for the season, and we feel satisfied we can offer Goods at It is simply marvelous how quickly constipation, biliousness.sick headache, lever and ague, and malaria, are cured by "Seller's Liver Pills.' "Llndsej's Blood Searcher"--the £r*at menicltt* for fever and ague, inal- art*, and all blood poison. Dou't fail to use It. lli IT l'OSSlKUt That a remedy made of snch common si mplo plants as Hops, Buchu, Mandrake Dandelion.Ac., makes *o many and Mioh wonderful cures an Hop Bitters d •. It must, for when old and young, rich and poor. Pastor and Doctor and Edi­ tor* all testify to having been cured by them, we must believe and doubt no longer* See other column. .. Bowline of black lawns, buntings, light summer dress goods, gingham*, with laee to trim, at Stevens & Bchoorrt. H I S ' l -- l - » A . K •*!* eeejUB •S'Wutr) joj a M r^l t> >-S'.Lr ,i Aq pjog fjv ;o a&n'isaniOTpiiun.ioi «ini|l|nui pne sjji|otq« iro M'O'I'Q -mmn mump Jo nof.s.Kl ou pus uMOIl Puv ••HM ^^OriTAWI,, 3H1 apwiu J04-. ,ir.(orP»K **• p n « unx «(l >nq uiruwnti uajjutup e--*up dog 'jaqmoui^i ® «OH Wn o» Vum oJUu pu* wit 5oq'jo;iii« »•)<<> ® J9Sns l'>n oq *d|i)i[ JO o.iiia 'I* w|n » joj [i|wi j<( ina\ OOfit /tun[ *** " WOINOSNWOFFAHM JO [>WI |MJ JC[II« n o £ | | j - j j ( i v m , n i * "•W «'"H •*!> F.| 3U»uJ\L«» •"> O.I* m auiiBVunoi^Mj^o,. *9ui^B3| •W|H| rjsn!!! <H'|1 III snub 0«R« JO VUVFJO X.IRU;.NI^MKO«UCTOI;I IO .fHIRMMl ssa«3i»istiui>id<n&@ asotim iru ox *W|fq ft* o^psr roraea f»'3 WHBHuoimioio svm mv vmprnd p«n» ».I»--;t 4DUmimtm <msn «iuu| .fwiisoclu*^ko«ic-»r!pos; *WMf l"» pn» niCo# ftrffuunj aoom XtdiViM) atj'4'k :» t r.uu« •umia |{V kaiw.Kln.nl OA|» JW>UI rntwanm 4uc>i-3i>*-'0'» r"u aft^cjp *«dOK JO uonrnwioav Magnetic Ointment. _ ^ W A R R A N T E D To Cure Piles aad Ckalag Soree* Also, 8»re Byes, Son Threat, Earache, Braises, •eras, Cats, Coras, Skla Msertfers, Bcrofsloas aai all gores. Iu effect in nil Ulie;, I<lverf Bevel and taif Diseases, BbeaaaUssi, Baek° ache. Lawless, Spralas^ and Svelllags is fe= mrded by the best physiciitns an aimply wonder- ful. ForwtfebydruKgiata. Price 38 and 4®cente» ilee*0e.,8o!aPiopa.lBaAle,!f.T. Robinson Wagon Co. Manufacturers of SPRING WAGONS. Buggies & Phaetons. ••lad for designs and price* to BOBIWSON WAGON CO., CINCINNATI, O. THE HORSE L WAGON. -a©.: Ihan can be tbund elsewhere.-- Our stock of Hats, Caps, READY-MADE CLOTHING, Boots, Shoes, Groceries &;e.. Is full and (kmipletfe, and we\are confident we can-pleasp you both in quality and price. Call and be convinced that these are facts. PERRY & MARTIN. McHenry. Match 22d, 1881. NEW BOOK on the Horse. His history, structure, uses and treatment. Alio giving » (cw of the most Important and Effective Bemediee for the cure of the diseases of the horse. Valuable to every owner and lover of the hone. Published l>y the S0BXX80V WAOOV C&, Oadfr- Mtl, 0., and sent, postage paid, to any address, on receipt of THREE "-CENT STAMPS. Kitcheft. B-d Room II. Hall. New Hardware Store. I. N.MEAD! NEAR THE DEPOT, --DEALER IN-- HARDWARE, STOVES, Tin. Conner anil Sheet Iron fare, Table and Pooket Cntlery, Scissors and Shears, Horse Rasns, Horse Shoes, Horseshoe Nftils, au«l Files ot evcrj- description. iniag J Three sheets, 19x24, heavy plate paper, contain­ ing elevations, plans and details for the above house; also book of 'JO pages, civing specifications, itemized estimate and form of contract--invaluable to every carpenter or pirty proposing building, as a guide in mating bids or drawing contracts. * Price (2.00. Sent by mail, postpaid, on receiptof vice* H. E. WALTON, 330 W. Ninth 8t( Cincinnati, a JOS. WIEDEMANN, Saloon and Restaurant, NEAR THE DEPOT, MCHENRY, - ILLINOIS The best Brands of Wines. Liquors and Of gars always on Hand. Good Stabling for Horses. ALSO AGENT FOR Franz Talk's HILWAUEEE Lager Beer. Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al way* on band cheaper than any other, quail t-v considered. Tills Beer has a world vide reputation, and orood judges acknowledge it cannot oe snr. paseed in the world. Orders by mail promptly attended to. «I08. WIEDEMANN. MeHenry. 111. Aug. 10th, 1881. CUBKOOF DRINKING. "A young friend of mine was cured of an insatiable thirst for licfuor. which h a d s o p r o s t r a t e d h t m t h a t h e w a s u n ­ able to do business. He was entirely cured by Hop Bitters. It allayed al that burning thirst; it took away the iippetite for liquor; made his nerves steady'and lie has remained sober and steady for two years. I know of number of others that liave been cured of drinking by it." From a leading R B. Official, Chicago, 111. everything thatis generally kept in ware 8tore. A 1st Hard Being a Practical Workman 1 shall spare no pains in trying to give satis faction to all who favor me with their patroc age. All kinds of Jobbing In my line will receive prompt attention. Please give me a call before purchasing elsewhere when in need of anything in mj line McHenrv,Oct.10th. 187U. m| MEAD. JOHNSBURCH AT THEIR TWO STORES, :k , Are now Offering the Largest Line of Hardware, Stoves, Tinware Ac., ever shown in M cHenry County, which we offer to the buy­ ing AT BOTTOM PRICES. Our stock is complete and comprises everything usually kept in a First Class Hardware Store. Our store is cnimnird full of Bargains and we offer the best and most goods for the least money of-any one in the business. WE INTEND TO KNOCK THE BOTTOM OUT OP HIGH PRICES IN BARB WIRE. The Best Barb Wire in the Market at 9 cts. per Pound, (^"Call and see us and learn that we mean business. Store in McHenry, Opposite Bishop's Mill., At Nunda in Palmer's Store. w'-'k ' " Viv v> ^ at ijnasL- ' •m u\* JOHN B. BLAKE. Proclamation No. 17. -BY THE- Old and Reliable Dealers in Look out for his# new advertisement next week. THIS NEW AND CORRECT MAP Proves beyond aay reasonable question that the Chicago & North western H'y Is by all odds the best road for you to take when traveling in either direction between Chicago and all the Principal Points ii the West North & NorM Carefully examine this Map. The principal Citleft of the West and Korthwett are Station* on this road. Its through trains make close connections with the trains of all railroads and Junction points, E. M. OWEN & SON Would give the people of McHenry and Lake Counties to understand that taey are still in the business, with the largest and best stock of Agricultural Machinery Of all kinds, to be found in the market. They have in Stock PLOWS of all kinds, Seeders, Corn Planters, Cultivators, Drills Drags, Pulverizers, Corn Shellers Feed Mills, Threshing Machines, Fon and Wood Pumps, Wind Irills, Open and Top Buggies, and in short everything usually kept in a first class Agricultural W arehouse, All of which will be sold As Cheap as the Cheapest. fjjgPNone but the best of machinery kept. Call and be convinced that we mean business. E. M. OWEN &. SON. McHenry, April 13th, 1881. MarlleJ oris. IIENBYBMILLER, --dfax*I£IN-- Ann and Foreip Marble. M.viiument8, Headstones, ETC., ETC., ETC. American & Scotch Granite, Constantly on Hand. Shop Two miles North of Me Henry, 111. JohBSbarfh* Ave. 10th, M77 GEORGE W. BESLEY, Drmiist anil Aptlecaiy. McHenry 111. -DEALER IN-- Drugs, Medicines, Paints, Oils, and Toilet Articles. I have added to mv already Large Stock, a Fine Lint ol TOILET ARTICLES, LAMS, CHOICE CANDIES. To which he invites the attention ol thebuying public. Phyeiciaiw Prescriptions Carefully Compounded. Give me a Call. O.W. BE8LEY. McHenry, 111., Nov. 10th, 1880. r j _AsT^a«9 kent JJralnera FLQRENC Qulnneseo 1/yrflt T.St Cloud Ordway Clapton nnixiWi ^ © V^-ood F'fl NOR •Algona m&TrM{)jgQg YAUKTON StOUJCCo i CrttgtoM alena YSM City CHI. fcLwgST\3rc*gg VNIOS pA OrWl KtarWf auaicw.A CJ-.CW UUa NORTg-WflSTOR^ RAILWA CHICAGO THE CHICAGO NORTH-WESTERN RAILWAY runs <>a«Ti way ilatly from two to four or more Fa«t Eipriu Trains. It is the only road wcat of Chicago "that use» the PULLMAN HOTEL DINING CARS, It fs the only road M>at runs Pullman Sleeping Cars North or Northwest of Chinago. It has nn»rly|3,000 Miles of Road> In forms th®foi'ow«n» Trunk Lines: Council Btutl's, Denver & California Line. Winona, Minnesota ft Central Dakota Linaa Sioux Citv, Nor Nebraska & Yankton Liue. Chicago, St. PP.UI ft Minneapolis Line Northern Illinois. Kreeport & Dubuque Line. Milwaukee, Green Bay ft LakeSuperior Lib* Tickets over this road are sold by all Oonpo® Ticket Agents in the United States A Canada Remember to ask for Tickets via this road, tbe sure they read over it, and take none other VABVIN HUGHITT, Gen'i Manager, Chicago W. H. 8IENNITT. Gen Pass Agt Chicago JACOB STORY, MeHENRY. ILL. DIALER IK r Scissors, Shears, Table and Pocket Cutlery, Spalos. S i ve Is, Frks, Corn Knivei, Axes, Grindst< Window Glass, CRANITE-IRON AND TINWARE. J. 8TCRY. COLBY BROTHERS! --DEALERS IN-- General Merchandise, RIVERSIDE BLOCK, McHENRY. ILL. We have one of the most complete stocks of Goods ever brough* to this* market, consisting in partot Dry Goods and Clothings HATS AND CAPS. BOOTS AJMD SHOES, Paints Oils Drugs and Medicines Crockery, Glassware, Wooden and Willoware, GROOCRI©® JT£to. -E2TO» I^"We have one of the finest Stocks of Teas to be found in th« county, to which we invite the especial attention of the public, sat­ isfied that we can suitjthem both iu quality and price.