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*#•* SMMM Tea to MM MB, it ;-2^ I'm •t*rr1n' for ft dbo«4* . .1 ' ; fe% Bring on your man," says ran •MK{ .-** "III finish the galoot" , 1>-M l brat kilted a man," nam Dtok, »Mo MH<\ wiry one t*>r night -IvilcrrtMk. "My weeplnsresaysw, ..... ' - :• I'm apllln for a fight'" ' •: \ * iftnd tbn« thoy taltrwi, theoe gallant $%i . 1ft pWoh, toim attir*d! ^ *be women tremblingly looked on-- They feareA while Uioy nlmirftd, • t'V #ntlook! the door is bnrsted ih, ' In bwak* a motley crew. s. i Bs«h foola! •(* they not T^xaa Jack, f ^ Mack, Jim and Tommy, toot 0a! Hi« a gang of farmer 1 iri:* V, »«fc ^ They're on a merry spree; wofnl luck ! why come they hellT 1 They murdered all will be. ' Tphs fanner lads walk down the lllll^ But Mack forgeti to fire; W v |fcnd Texao Jack draws nothls k»tfe, uV~tr " Dick offers to retire. •i • ;;«!tTp witli yonr hands ! " the hRUdlSft • V 1 'Quick Prairie Maok obeys; fcago Pick forgets hip arms, or life !x>ld Thomas prays. r ljhe farmer* rob the helpless fair, W ho make a sad ado; ? But h avens 1 they rob theee Weelanmtt, \ And take tiwtr pistoto, tool ^ , Trtnscrwpt. DIAMOND GOT DIAMOND, Col. Nathaniel J. Coohng--better , known as Cool Nat--*-of Coolington, San Joaquin county, in the State of Cal­ ifornia, was a follow-passonprpi of mine ,, on thnt well-known transatlantic Mteura- ; ship, the Mongolia, famous alike for the rapidity of her ocean voyages, the ab - ' secee of napkins at meal tinios and the bluft heartiness of her excellent com­ mander. As is, or rather waa, invaria­ bly the case, the Mongolia had received a very good " send oft','" the friends of the passengers mustering in prpnt strength, and accompanying their hearty wishes for a swift passage, quick return , and a "good time" generally, with a brisk consumption of that sparkling flnid which flows with such unfailing lib­ erality on such occasions. Busv as I was in pledging my nttmorousfconds, I yet found a moment to steal a glance at my room-mate--the traveler who occu­ pied the one other berth in my state­ room--and, exchanging cards with him over a glass of champagne, was charmed to find my domiciliary partner for the next eight days the celebrated, or notor­ ious, person whose name I have men­ tioned. Dim rumors of daring deeds done, or, as some hypercritical purist would rather say, perpetrated during the early days of the Goid« n State, had reached my ears from time to time, and with many of these the name of Nat Cooling was associated. Of the origin of this great man but little was known. Those who loved him best and obeyed that excellent law, "Speak well of the rich," declared that Ms youth had been passed in the lucra­ tive business of importing " blackbirds" --in other words, in the slave trade-- while those who were actuated by high­ er principles, that is, hated or* envied the successful Speculator, declared that a short but brilliant career of piracy had laid the foundation of his great fortune. All that was certainly known was that the Colonel turned up in California dur- : ing the first symptoms of the gold fever, and that bis peculations in mining and other operations had been attended with solid success. Where he was "raised" : remained a mystery, for the Colonel, S although very communicative on all * cts relating to his resilience in Cal­ ifornia, maiuhdiied a severe "reticence as to his hap^y boyhood and probably stormy youtlu Nyitlier his appearance ; nor Lb speech beta ayed his supposed nant val antecedents, nor did his out- lino betray the. numerous angles that the American physique is often credited withal. P s was a plump, . broad-shouldered inan, the said broad shoulders being -urmonnted by a large bullet-head cc. jred with a close-cut crop of stiff bL.ck hair. His face, with the exception of the upper lip, was clean-sh'jvcn, end his general •expression was one of frank ban homie. There were moments, however, when a singular expression flushed from his tine dart: *ye, and on th.^e rare occasions it was not difficult for persons of an imag­ inative turn of mind to conjure up a scene in the summer seas of tne Indian Archipelago with a scuttled ship slowly settling down in ,tl^<- dark blue water, and a rakish-looking jr raft almost hull down upon the horizon. Col. Cooling rejoiced in a velvet coat and loose necktie, of sanguine hue, bnt it was impossible to enjoy his society for any length of time without observing the immense diamond solitaire which adorned his large*, but well-shaped, hand. This was not merely a large dia­ mond, but a brilliant such as is rarely seen. It threw out flashes like a lime­ light,-and blazed with almost intolerable radiance. One splendid summer after­ noon, as the Mongolia was doing her best to make short work of the Atlantic, the Colonel caught mv eye fixed in admi­ ration on hia magnificent juwel, and launched at once into the following story: " I gneiss, neighbor, yon air takin' ad­ vantage of the fine weather to kinder photograph my diamond. It's worth the trouble--yes, sirr! Not only for the valley of the stone, but for the high old time I had in gettin' it You see I ain't a New Yorker, and never set eyes on the Empire City till a few weeks ago, i%hen I kim around from 'Frisco to make a Eu­ ropean tower. In Californy we are heavy on gold, that's a fact, but we don't pan c*t much on diamonds, though thev air mighty useful goods when a eitizon finds things pretty well petered out in his old diggin's and wants to vamoose the ranch for a new placer. Bnt no sooner had ~ • gentleman when he consented to men­ tion my desire for the biggest diamond in New York to his friend. He told me that he did not think his friend would sell. In fact, he was pretty sure he wouldn't, but that I might hove a sight of the stone if I would breakfast with him at Delmonioo's at 12 o'olock the next day. '«This looked all right, and the next morning I was punctual to my appoint­ ment, was introduced to my friend's friend--also an elegant gentleman--and spat down to the wry best breakfast I •St.nl ever seen. I didn't, however, nat jmuch more than a 3-yoar-old b'ar, my jnind was so took up with the diamond Kothin' that I had ever seen in the Sparkling way was a circumstance to it. Ijong before we got to the coffee and ci­ gars I made a resolution to have that di­ amond. But when I led up to the subject the owner said that no money would induce him to part with a gem which li;ul been given to him by his deceased mother on her deathbed. I felt kinder tstreaked at this, and wondered why boys tvho never care what their parents say ••when livin' should pay so much atten tion to their wishes when dead. How­ ever, the party broke up, and I invited iny new friends to dine with me . on the morrow. But I had diamond on the brain, could neither sleep nor drink, End actually lost a big pile of dollars at }>o- l. r through trying for a straight, flush in <>:;•!>onds. At our next meeting I no­ ticed that the proprietor of the diamond looked discouraged about somethm', a ml I iold him what a bad time I had had at poker. " 'All!' said he, 'I am the most un­ lucky man in the world. JUast night 1 lost $10,000 at faro, coppering the jack. He won nineteen times running, and . left me dead broke with nary red cent " mmy pocket.' " Now, thought I, is my opportunity; f-o, after sympathisin' with him, I raised Upon the diamond subject agin. He did not like the idee at all at first, and kicked and cavorted like a vicious mus- tang, but at last, reflectin' thut his debts of honor must be met, he caved in and parted with the dinmond, affc r kissin' it agm and agin, with tears in his eyes, for • 810,000 cash, on my promising that, if ever I should want to part with the stone, I would give him the option of repurchasing it at the same price, add­ ing 7 per cent, interest for the time I had li'id out my money. I Must own that I felt pretty hunky over my bar­ gain, and, promising myself great pleasure in New York and Europe out of my big diamond, got pretty high and proposed a game of eucher to my com­ panions, just to while away the time. I nave played all sorts of games in my time in all sorts of company, but that game of eucher was a caution. It seemed square enough even to me, but the cards certainly ran agin me in the queerest way. So, after losing quite a pile, I thought it time to give over and went to bed, thinkin' that, after all, my diamond was some consolation. But when, next morning, my friends did not drop in to breakfast, as they promised, I began to feel myself weakenin' on the business altogether, and made tracks for a great lapidary down town. After examinin' the gem he told me coolly that it was al>out the best bogus diamond he had ever seen, but that a sham it was and no mistake. You, sir, may imagine my feelin's, not so much at' losing §10,000 on the diamond, and a heap at play, as at the thought that I, Cool Nat, of ' San Joaquin, had been gobbled by a couple of New York deadheats. I guess my language was pretty heavy when, just as I had cussed all the wool off my new overcoat, an idee knocked up agin my brain and struck in at once, i inquired where the greatest jeweler and diamond merchant in the city kept, and after showing him my bogus gem, and swear­ ing him to secrecy, asked if he could find me a real diamond like it. " He told me he would do his level best to match it, and did so within tliree hours, charging me $12,000 for the stone. I then had it set in the ring in the place of my bogus one, and, putting Col. Bogus in my pocket, walked into the bar of my hotel. As I had judged, there were more than two in the little speculation I had suffered from. My friend and his friend had cleared out, but I smelt powder when I heard the talk run upon the number of sham tlia- monds worn. ' Yes, sir,' said one young blood, dressed up like a barber's hlock, ' I guess them very big stones is mostly bogus,'casting at the same time a snaky look at mv ring. I went on taking mv bitters quite silent, and seemed kinder wrapt up in my ring. But they wouldn't let me alone, and presently got up abet among themselves about their rings, and pitched upon me as umpire, for said one of 'em, 'Guess that strange gentleman as wears the Kohinoor ought to understand the subject.' " I own I felt very much like drawing my six-shooter and clearing out the crowd, but I kept my temper and said: 'Gentlemen, I don't understand small potatoes. Them little bits o' things may or not l>e genuine ; but if you want to brag on diamonds I guess I'll take the pool.' At this they kinder sniggered and asked to look at my ring, i let them look as long as they liked, but kept the ring on my finger. At last one of them said: 4 That btone must have come pretty high, I judge ' • Yes. sir,' said; '810,000 cash.' At these words they sniggered again. So I, put- tin' on that I was riled, rounded on 'em sharp : ' I don't know, gentlemen, what you se3 to lough at.' Then the grace- fulest and politest cuss in the party says: • I fear it is to laughin' matter for you, sir. I guess you air a stranger, and I suspect some rascals in the city here have stuck you with an imitation stone.' At this I pretended to rile right up, and swore that I bought the ring of a pet feet e-ontl^men, and bad nr. end of landed^ a,nd got well fixed at the New trouble to buy it at all. The polite ma* tni'ir rlAFAl fnQTl matrin<v a Ii*%a 1 < « •*» . - , ., . , stmenea up his back at that, made some York Hotel, than, making a bee line for the bftr, I found all the folks run dia­ mond mad. In most settlements I am acqnaint< d with the talk runs mostly on dollars, bnt in the big city I heard of nothing but diamonds. It seem* thnt some old Don married a pretty young gal a little time ago, and,' thnt -tin- dis­ play of jewels at the diamond weddin* had sfet everybody stark, ^t uin' on brilliants. Well, after my tfcad cock­ tail, I lit a fresh cigar, and 1 .v;rn:i *o f i ] I'-'"*:' fe' remarks on gentility in general and wound up by offering to bet $1,000 that my diamond v,-;*s bogus, to put up the money right away and leave the matter to be decided by any jeweler named by the proprietor of the hotel. " T1K-II I felt that I had struck a lode, and, turning round sharply, says. ' Look< e here, sir ! l>ets of a thousand dollars is pood enough for a small game in, and said I to myself, ' Nat Cooling, < whole pile, and I will back my diamond with my bottom dollar.' They kept . their faces very well, but I could see i their eyes glisten, and knew that I nad i cm safe, (me said ' he couldn't put up much just then, but he could find eight you never wap a one-horse person nor a cuss as would take a back seat any­ wheres. If you tee goin' to pan out on diamonds you must do it heavy.' 44 Bern' on such uncommon good terms •xi, T . . , iiiuMi J US I men, DUI ne could find eight ! «»?»»?«.> •?» « hour, and w^ld then fell talkin' diamonds with a 'verv elegantly-dressed gentleman, who gave me a lot of points on the subject. After a few more cocktails I told mv n w | stake it with pleasure agin mine.' Then another struck in, and thought, as ' I didn't look satisfied with such a little friend" that I must get a dianWl bnt 1 ini r°S , . his friend s opinion,' that it must be the biggest in New York , 1 *ept on **7™ I was not The gentleman wore a handsome stone bTnf° ™°? /nCept l? a himself, which he said was as good as lie ; f thousand dollars, they Could pav for, but remarked that h/» ped up eighteen thousand dollars Sought that he knew where to fink ^ I I coT®5e^ the money and A 1 brilliant--in fact, the ayewunnest ! °^er' 711 . 1? rin& a •tone in the world. I laugh, I do, when A IRT ™emaran^u™' ^M proprietor. I think how anxious I was to see it, and Was u»med.'.call?d in- de- took place, and the swindlers insisted as callin' another witness, and I ue«Hj busted myself with laoghin' when they named the very man I bought the stone of. When he saw the stone, his face was a study ; but he never let on that he had seen it before, and said only that it was perhaps «the finest diamond he had ever seen in a ring,' bowod to the com­ pany and walked off. To do my rascals justice, they showed grit, drank the champagne I treated them to, and walked off coolly enough. But the best part of the joEe is to come. " The story of the big bet somehow got around, and all sorts of versions got into the papers. I was interviewed pretty heavily by reporters, and Col. Nathaniel J. Cooling, of San Joaquin, was credited with owning the biggest diamond ring in New York, when who should walk into the hotel but my orig­ inal friend and his friend. The curses believed that by some unheard of chance they had purchased a real instead of a bogus diamond, and they were, no doubt, raging in their innards to think that they hadn't sold me in the first in­ stance, and had put the gang in the hole for ®18,000. But the stone was now celebrated, and they began to tip.- to work on me to let 'em have it back for $10,000, as I had made such a good speculation in bets. The original pro­ prietor said he was in funds agin, and couldn't sleep for thinkin* of his moth­ er's ring. Of course he wanted it back to f sell at a big profit and re­ coup the igang a bit. I declined to sell, and kept him off and on till I was ready to start, and told him I must wear the ring till I was aboard ship, when, if he would Eay down the money in gold, he could ave his ring agin. You guess what I did ? No ? Why the day before we sailed I had the real diamond set in the ring you see on my hand, and Col. Bo­ gus put back into the old setting. My friends came on board, paid the money in gold, stranger--nary sliinplaster--ex­ amined the ring and the same old sham diamond they sold me, and went off as happy as coyotes round a dead mule. I wonder how they like the deal now! As far as I can figure it, I make about $18,- 000 by the spec--two-thirds in diamond, and the rest in gold. Our glorious Golden State is, I guess, the place to cut your eye-teeth in, and I judge the deadbeats of New York city will not soon forgot Nat Cooling, of San Joa- tjuin." tiaxN American and English Railway Travel. It is undoubtedly true that the use of palace cars in this country--or what in England would be called cars of the first class--^increases year by year. Few trav­ elers of\fair experience can have failed to ol>serve this any more than they have failed to see that the increase in general passenger traffic is in far greater ratio than the increase of population or of roads. People travel now even in dis­ tricts where roads are not new, who, ten or fifteen years ago, did not travel at all. and people who have always traveled when they could, travel better now than they ever did before. All this speaks much for the prosperity of the country and for that oftentimes sadly neglected education which men and women get from contact with the world outside their homes. Some figures, however, respect­ ing these features of traffic on the Eng­ lish road indicate in one or two respects tendencies of an opposite kind, though in others they furnish an agreeable par­ allel to our own. Thus, for the last half of the year 1875 the three greatest roads in England carried a united total of 57,- 500,000 passengers--a total which m the last half of the year 1880 was increased by more than 5,200,000 or about 1,000,- 000 each year. Here the experience of England is quite like ours, but alongside these figures we find others equally striking, although they are striking from another point of view. Duriug those same five years of increased travel there was a falling off in first-class traffic of more than 700,000 passengers, and in second class one of more than 2,200,000 passengers, so that these two classes to­ gether represent nearly three-fifths as much in oecline as there is in total in­ crease. The total of 5,200,000 repre­ sents, therefore, all third class passen­ gers, besides a further third class in­ crease of 3,000,000 gained from the two other classes. Within five years, then, third class traffic has increased by fully 8,200,000 passengers. To some "extent this is probably due to trade depression ; but the chief causes assigned for it in England are the increased facilities for traveling third class and the greater comfort insured by the accommodations. Railway experts declare that third class traffic is the most profitable of all to the companies, yielding as it does 75 per cent of profit, against 20 from first class and second. Apparently, the companies are aiming to realize some practical good out of these facts, and the figures cited above indicate that they have made a good start in that business. Their whole passenger traffic increases 5,200,000 in five years, and their most profitable part of it increases 8,200,000, a large portion of which is merely a transfer of business from the least profitable. Is Ucrmany an Empire! In the first place, the German~ferm " Reich " does not designate an empire as a form of government distinguished from a kingdom, for instance, or a republic. Strictly taken, it means "realm," or even "commonwealth," while the technical term for empire is " Kaiserreich." Thus the Roman Em­ pire might be colled a Reich, as was the old German Empire, becaus?, for one reason, the hereditary principle in both was weak, «>r did not exist,; and in the present confederation, or Reich, the so- called Imperial dignity, though heredi­ tary in the Royal House of Prussia, is not hereditary in the Honso of Hohen- zollern as such. If the Hoherzolh rns should ever cease to be Kings of Prussia they would cease ip*o fat-Jo to be Em­ perors of Germany. But the Napoleonic F.tiij ir ; in Frniice w:is ahvay* called in German the " Keiserre.ch," heoaune the Imp; rial principle, whatever that may he, was visibly incorporated in the pub- he law of the State. The same observa­ tion held true of the head of the State in Germany. The pre?s and tho public in other conntr'es speak of him com­ monly as tlie Empri-or of Germany, which is incorrect. There is no such personage. The Federal Constitution simply declares that the Presideney of the Confederation is vested in the King of Prussia, who shall - bear the title of German Emperor. Our usage of lan­ guage and our habits of political thought do not, indeed, make any clear differ­ ence between the title German Emperor and the title Emperor of Germany ; bnt to Teutonic--nay, to Continental--dia­ lecticians the distinction is of vast im­ portance. The King of Prussia is then merely President of the German realm, and there is nothing Imperial about him except his title. There is no Imperial crown ; no Imperial pri- y purse ; no Imperial civil list; no Imperial suite, or court or palace. He is simply the King of Prussia, intrusted with certain exec­ utive functions in the German federal IMPROVEMENTS of the right kind ao not cost any more those at a wrong kind. i Daw is more abundant oa cloudy nights, since the heat which is radiated by the earth does not return to it. FRESH eggs have a lime-like appear­ ance to the shells, whereas the outer covering of stale eggs is glossy and smooth. A MIXTURE of muriate of potash, fish guauo, or sulphat of am inornate and su­ per-phosphate of lime, is an excellent fertilizer for corn. MATTHEW SCOTT, of England, has a crossed Black-faced and South-down ewe twenty-one years old, that has reared thirty-six lambs. THE value of barnyard manure depends upon the potash, phosphorio acid and nitrogen which it contains and the me­ chanical effect it has upon the soil. THERE is a wonderful variety of apples not confined solely to the taste but also to size, ranging all the way from the size of a pea to near a pound in .weight. EARLY maturity is the most valuable characteristic of improved stock. To keep young stock growing is the only way to attend success in stock raising. "JERSEY QUEEN," the famous Vermont cow owned in Peacham, gave 4,403 pounds of milk during the first 100 days of her yearly test, making 251 pounds of butter. CAPITAIJ acts an important part m tiie successful management of the farm, and is quite as requsite as good soil, favor­ able location, enduring muscle or mental capacity. IRRIGATION is a subject in farm econ­ omy which requires more attention than it has yet received, and the counterpart of drainage, it may in many cases be made a co-worker with it. GEORGE PIIATT, of Roy, N. Y., has raised wheat on one piece of land for twenty successive years with one excep­ tion, harvesting in that time 6,380 bushels, an average of twenty-four bushels per acre for nineteen years. PROBABLY the largest hog in the United States was lately exhibited at Junction City, Kansas. His length is 7 feet, girth of neck 6$ feet, girth of chest 7j, girth of center 8 feet, width across the hips 30 inches, and weight 1,532 pounds. To SAVE girdled trees conuect the girdled space by twigs tnpered at each end as if for grafting, then insert eaoh end just under the bark. Do not be sparing of twigs, but do not tear up the bark ; cover the whole wound with graft­ ing wax. POOR shelter, care and feed will, in a few generations make scrubs out of the finest thoroughbred stock. Thorough­ bred scrubs are little better than native scrubs, and the farmer who raises either will always be poor. Breeding the best stock and keeping it in the best manner possible, pays the largest profits. THE half-bred merino or medium Wool has for several years past sold for five to ten cents per pound more than the coarse, and during ten years has brought more than the fine. Medium and half- bred wool has never been in over-sup­ ply, and to-day commands a higher price and is most wanted of all the qual­ ities. ONE of the obstacles to improved farming is the amount of land needlessly wasted even on the best farms by stone heaps, bushes and weeds. The stones are too often gathered into unsightly heaps in the fields, or thrown into the corners of the fences. Perhaps the best use to which they can be put, if there is no need of them for the purposes of drainage, is for utilization in road beds. THE location 6f Wiri houses and barns is something receiving much wisdom and judgment. Some build so that prac­ tically the barn is almost in the house, or the house almost in the barn. These buildings should be some distance apart, and so located in relation to each othes that the bam drainage is in a di­ rectly opposite direction from the house. If this is observed much sickness iu the family may bo prevented. THERE is quite a3 much necessity for barn cleaning on the farm as for hons-. cleaning, and if farmers were as punc­ tilious about the renovation and puriti ca­ tion of the outbuildings as farmer* wives are about the dwelling, there wou id speedily be an improvement about the appearance of things as well as of con­ venience. Lost or misplaced tools are brought to light, barn, shed and shop furnishings put in order, space gained, and there is a revival of cheerfulness everywhere. Find time lor barn clean­ ing. To PBOTBOT horses from flies an Eng­ lish veterinarian authority gives the fol­ lowing advice : Before harnessing, a mixture of one part of crude carbolic acid with six or more parts of olive oil should be rubbed lightly all over the an­ imal with a rag, and applied more thickly to the interior of the ears and other parts most likely to be attacked. This application may need to be repeated in the course of the day, but while any odor of the acid remains the flies decline to settle and the horse is completely free from all their annoyance. IT IS stated on good authority that an ncreof the best Lincolnshire, Eugland, grazing land--and it is a county famous for its grass--will carry an ox and a sheep from New Monday till Old Mi- clmelmas, and that while grazing for this period the former will gain 280 pounds and the latter forty pounds in net weight of meat when slaughtered. The acre will thus yield 320 pounds of meat. Its produce of grass may be six­ teen tons, perhaps more. This is one pound of meat for every hundred weight of grass; but we must remember that the grass of such land differs from the average in the quality as well as the quantity of its product. IN A recent address on the subject of Corn, Professor Beal remarked that the topmost ear was tlie best for seed. Of two fields, one planted with seed taken at random and the other selected in the field, tlie latter yielded as much again as tho former. Manure and cultivation may the thrown away on poor seed. The best time to cultivate corn is before planting. A shallow cultivation was recommended. Twenty-threa ears of corn can be produced from onb kernel, and by proper cultivation and the best seeds as high HS twenty-five ears. Smut is a great damage to corn, and qpiutty corn is very injurious to cattle. LATE chickens can be kept more profitably than early ones. Chickens from eggs set in August and September may be kept warm in a tight glazed house, so that they will grow continu­ ally through the winter, and if thev came Inter all the better, if they are well fed. The early broods will be salable at good prices when the market is bare of chickens, and the later ones will fur- nish spring chickens long before the usual supply comes to hand. Spring chickens hatched in the fall or even in the winter are rare, but not entirely un­ known to a few persons who made the day, warm drink and oleanliness, there is no difficulty at all about raising them, and at a good profit. ONE of our English exchanges gives the following as to the history of the first wheat sown in America: " Now that our American oousins are reducing the British farmer to despair by their enormous exportations of wheat, it may be interesting to recall the fact that until about the end of the first quarter of the seventeenth century--that is to say, 250 years ago--England supplied the North American "colonies with most of their wlxlat. Since that time, however, North America has been gradually growing more independent iu the matter of the supply of breadstuff's. Wheat was first sown in those colonies in 1592, Gosnold, the traveler, scattering the first seeds on the Elizabeth Islands, iu Massachusetts, during his exploration of that coast. It is curious to reflect that it was English energy and daring winch first of all sup­ plied America with: the means of enter­ ing, nearly three centimes later, into a disastrous competition with the mother country." ' HOUSEHOLD HELPS. I think how anxious I was to see it, and cided at 1™ tWt Te functions the German federal known to a few persons who made the how much I felt indebted to the young ^er'S ! T* ^ ' magazine. quarters, a warm mess at least once a fFrom the Ameiicnn Cultivator, t COLD SAUCE.--Beat two ounces of butter with sufficient sugar to make a thick cream and pour it into two table- spoonfuls of boiling water. Flavor with half a teaspoonful of vanilla extract or a tablespoonful Of brandy. Make it several hours before dinner, and put it in a cool place to harden. It should be smooth and firm like Neopolitfm cream and without the greasiness of the ordi­ nary butter and sugar sauce. ITALIAN CHEESE.--Line a mould with hsrd boiled eggs cut in slices, and into it pour a mixture composed of one grated nutmeg, one-half ounce of cloves, all­ spice and pepper, and the finely chopped meat from a knuckle of veal, together with the liquor in which it was boiled and in which it has been simmered until it has bccome a jelly. Set the mould away to harden for twenty-four hours, and use the cheese as a dish for tea. This is one of the best ways of giving a flavor to that most insipid stuff, cold veal. > DANISH PUDDING.--MispKparloa's Dan­ ish pudding is a pleasant variation on the ordinary tapioca. T !> make it, take one cupful of tapioca, three pints of water, half a teaspoonful' of salt, half a teacupful of sugar, one* tumblerful of any land of bright jelly ; wash the .tap­ ioca and soak in the water every night; in the morning put in a double boiler and cook one hour ; stir frequently, add the salt, sugar and jelly, Smd mix thor­ oughly ; turn into a mould that has been dipped in cold water and set away to harden; serve with cream and sugar. CHICKEN CROQUETTES.--To one chicken and one pound of cold veal chopped fine, almost to a paste, add one-half a chopped onion, one tablespoonful of chopped parsley, one saltspoonful mace, and one egg; take the same quantity of stale bread crumbs as there is of chopped meat; if you have any gravy or stock, heat and gradually stir in bread crumbs until the bread absorbs all the gravy; add that to the meat. The mixture must be quite smooth and thin; if not thin enough add a little cream or milk; it whitens the croquettes ; roll the cro­ quettes egg-shaped or cone-shaped in an egg, beaten with a tablespoonful of milk, then in bread crumbs dried in the oven.; fry in boiling grease in a deep pan ; when done put on brown paper to absorb the grease. CHOCOLATE PIB.--Take four table- spoonfuls of grated chocolate, one pint of boiling water, let it simmer for a few minutes, then take the yolks of two eggs, two tablespoonfuls of cornstarch, and six tablespoonfuls of sugar. Stir this mixture together, and boil until thick, like poiled custard. Make a crust as for lemon pie, bake it, and then put in the cooked chocolate. Beat the whites of the two eggs to a stiff froth, beating in a tablespoonful of pulverized sugar; put this on top of the pie aud set it in the oven to brown. Serve cold : it is not at all difficult to make and ought to be a perfect success. It takes longer to pre­ pare than some other dishes, and it is wise to make it in the early morning, and not run the risk of spoiling it by being obliged to hurry. MAYONNAISE SAUCE.--The real may­ onnaise sauce as used in Provence, to which it is indigenouse, is never made thicker than fresh cream, and is cer­ tainly best so. The recipe is as follows : Take the yolks of two or three raw eggs (according to the quantity required) very carefully separated from the whites; put the yolks into a mortar, and very slowly and gently grind them round and round with the pestle, working from the wrist, not from the arm (there is a great knack in doing this). Add, drop by drop, the purest salad oil to the amount of two or three tablespoonfuls, as required, stopping occasionally to work it in, always turning the pestle the same way. Between times drop in vin­ egar fabout two tablespoonfuls), and if the mayonnaise cracks or curdles, a few drops of water will restore it to its smooth, creamy state. This is the real Provencial way of maying a mayonnaise. Spelling. Mr. Topnoody went to the minstrels and the funny conundrums and jokes he heard set him to thinking. So at break­ fast he began on Mrs. Topnoody. She was warm and not much iu the humor for pleasantry, but Topnoody slashed away. "I say, Mrs. Topnoody, can you spell 'hard water' with three letters ? " " No, I can't; I might, though, if you had taken me to the minstrels last night." This staggered him a little, but not seriously. "And you can't spell it?" Well, i-c-e, ain't that hard water ? " Mrs. Topnoody never smiled and Mr. T. went on t "Now spell 'money' with four let­ ters." " I don't know how," she said. "Ha, ha, that's too good. A woman never can got at. this sort of thing in i he same clear-headed way man can. Well, the wny to spell it is "c-u-s-h, ain't that money V " Again did Mrs. Topnoody fail to smile, and Mr. Topnoody started out with another. " Hold on a minute," she interrupted, looking ugly; " I've got one ; lets -.ec if you can get it: Spell 'Topnoodv' with four letters." Topnoody scratched his head a while, and gave it up. "Ha, ha," laughed Mrs. T.. "that's too good. A man never can get at this sort of thing in the same clear-headed way a woman can. Well, the way to spell it is f-o-o-1, ain't that Topnoody?" But Topnoody never smiled, and the breakfast was finished in silence except an occasional chuckle from Mrs. Top­ noody's end of the table.--Steubcnvilte Herald. " THE mainspring of Italian. music in the eighteenth century," says a recent writer, "was the exolusive and pas­ sionate worship of the human voice." But Italian music has experienced a change. Its mainspring is now in a box, and is worked with a handle. THE FAMILY DOCTOH* BRitN worry is infinitely mttti de­ structive than simple brain labor. SUSTAINED mental tension is fraught with serious results in most iww. --• THB feeding bottlos of infants should be kept perfectly sweet and dean. THE true physiological way of treat­ ing burns and scalds is to at once &fi- elude the air, with cotton batting, floor, scraped potato, or anything that is han- diest. PERSONS afflicted with biliousneM should avoid eating rich, concentrated, greasy food, and eat vegetables, .fruit ii nd the best brown Graham or unleav­ ened b*ead, with a moderate ftmount of flesh. INVALID COOKERY.--1. Almond Milk. --Quarter of a pound of best sweet al­ monds; blanch and pound in a mortar, adding by degrees half a pint of water with thf> chill off; strain through book muslin. If the milk is too thick, return the pounded almonds to the mortar, add more water, strain again, adding the' liquor to the first, and repeat till it is sufficiently thin. This is very palatable and suits the weakest stomach. 2. Chicken Broth.--Make the most delicate broth; strain it through muslin; add a very little arrowroot and a spoonful of thin cream or the best new milk. It must not be thickened with the arrow­ root; it should be of the consistency of very thin cream, or thinner, according to taste. It will be quite white. HKALTHFULNESS OF MILK.--If any one wishes to grow fleshy, a pint of milk taken on retiring at night will soon cover the scrawniest bones. Although we see a good many fleshy persons nowadays, there are a great many lean and lauk ones, who sigh for the fashionable meas­ ure of plumpness, and who would i>e vastly improved in health and appear­ ance coidd their forms be rounded with good solid flesh. Nothing is more cov­ eted by a thin woman than a full figure, and nothing will so rise the ire and pro­ voke the scandal of the "clipper-build" as the consciousness of plumpness in a rival. In case of fever and summer complaint, milk is now given with ex­ cellent results. The idea that milk is feverish has exploded, and it is now the physician's great reliance in bringing through typhoid patients, or those in too low a state to be nourished by solid food. It is a mistake to scrimp the milk-pitch­ er. Take more milk and buy less meat. Look to your milkman; have large-sized, well-filled milk-pitchers on the table each meal, and you will have sound flesh and save doctors' bills. THREE RECEIPTS TO CURE CORNS.-- First. Bathe the corn with strong borax water; then shave it closely, but be careful and do not make it bleed. Place over the corn a white felt corn plaster, and wear it constantly until the corn has disappeared. Every night and morning wet the small cavity over the corn (and in the plaster) with a little borax water, or, if preferable, the pulp of a lemon. The corn plaster can be obtained at any druggist's. Second. Keep the feet clean by frequent ablu­ tions with warm water, and wear easy, soft boots or shoes. Without the latter precaution, corns will generally return even after they appear to have been perfectly removed. Third. After soak­ ing the "feet in warm water for a few minutes, pare the corns as close as pos­ sible with a sharp knife, taking care not to make them bleed. Place upon the part affected a small, circular piece of leather or buckskin, spread with some emollient plaster, and have a hole in the center corresponding to the size of the corns. They may now be touched with hitric acid, by means of a small glass rod or wood toothpick, duo care being taken not to allow the liquid to come in contact with the neighboring parts. Repeat this process daily until the offender be sufficiently softened to admit of removal. ti. H (This fltiKiavinp rsprwente the lungn in a haalthy state.) i STUMHD BfflpT IN MANY HOMES Tor rpnsha, Colda, Oonp, Bronehltla and all other affections of the Throntand 1.1 \(is.lt standa nnrivaled and utterly beyond all competition. IN CONSUMPTIVE CASES It approaches so neat a spacifio that " Ninety-flTe" par cent, are permanently cured, where the dtrecttona are atrictlFTomplied with. There ia no chemical or othar ingredients to harm the young or old. AS AN EXPECTORANT IT HAS NO EQUAL. IT CONTAINS NO OPIUM IN ANY FORM. N. HARRIS A CO., Proprietors, cracisrwATi, o. FOR 8ALE BY ALL DRUGS1878. H O L M A N ' S CURES Withoot Dosing TBADBMAKK, BY Absorption Hoffensteln's Business Rival. "My gr-r-acious, Herman, vat's de madder ?" exclaimed Hoffenstein, as his clerk rushed into the store with his nose looking like a mashed tig. "I hat a fight mit Max Hornberger," replied the clerk excitedly, " tmd py tam I vants de law." " Vat did you fight aboud, Herman ?" inquired Hoffenstein, quietly. " Yell, I vas standing on de streets nnd I hear Max Hornberger say dat last veek ve sell a ghustomer a pair of plue bants, und dey keep on shrinking nnd shrinking undil dey got his shird collar under, und now he years dem for a gra- vat. I vent to him und says, ' Max Hornberger, you petter had keep your moud avay from oder beople's pisness.' Den he says, • I know vat I talk aboud, und I vill back it up. Dats de kind uf lay oud I vas.' Yell, ven I vasn't dink- ing, he hit me de pack bart uf my ear on. He don't could haf done it if I vas dinking, but I vasn't dinking, und den he hit me some more dimes ae nose ofer, de tam tief." " Vy didn't you vip him, Herman ?" said Hoffenstein, angrily. " Veil, I vill vait, Misder Hoffenstein, but if it hadn't been for my mudder, he would haf been gone mit de bolice." "Nefer mind, Herman, I dink ve can Sreak all his shdore all up. I vill dell e gustomers dat Max Hornberger don't keep noding but second-hand cloding und gets dem from people vat shust haf de small-pox. De vay dat man vill lie, Herman, vas a shame, you know. He dold me vonce ven he vas dalking aboud dogs, dat before de var he haf a dog vat got bit mit a snake vile he vas oud hund- ing, und he gif him visky. Afder vile de dog got bit mit a snake again, und he gif him more visky, und de dog got so dat lie vanted visky all de dime und vould go hunding de snakes up. Ven de dog finds dem lie voidd stand und hit de snake on de head mit de end uf his dail undil he vas bite. Max Hornberger says the only vay he could keep dot d< g from offering de snakes inducements to bite him vas to cut his dail off. Dink how dat man vill lie, Herman, und don't haf noding to do mit him. Max Horn­ berger vas not a good yenudi, und shust vait avhile und I vill make him dink he don't got some pisness fooling mit me." --New Orleans Time*. la ft sovereign remedy for all forma of l,ltcr ud Stomacll troubles, and ia the ONLY SAFE and ABSOLUTS con for Hslaria ia iu various types, Dr. Holman'a Pad Is a genuine and rad. leal remedy, WITHOUT T.#KING MEDICINE. It was the FIRST article of the kind that was introduced to the public generally. It Was the ORIGINAL PAD, and was devised by DR. HOLMAN alone. He struck out from the beaten path and mad* a NEW WAY. No sooner had he rendered the un­ dertaking a CERTAINTY than the IMITATORB and PIRATBS who hang to and infest ever suc­ cessful enterprise, started up and have since fol­ lowed In hia footsteps aa cloaely aa the law will tolerate. Against these Da. HOLMAN gives SPECIAL WARNING. Not only do they FAIL TO CURS, but in disappointing th# ptirehftsef they bring doubt and odium on the principal of Abaor||a tton, of which Dr. Holman'a Pad is the GENUINE and ONLY TRUE EXPONENT. Every Imitation is an emphatic endorse­ ment of the substantial worth of the genuine article. A poor one is never copied. Each Genuine Holman Pad btan the Private Revenue Stamp of th« HOLMAN PAD CO., with the above Trad®. Mark printed in green. Buy N&nm Withmtt R, FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS, Or sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of |I.M, DR. HOLMAN'S advice is nu. Full trratiae aent free on application. Address HOLMAN PAD CO.. [A O. Box 2112,3 744 Broadway, If. T. Mk STOMACH _ ^ BITTERS IMmliiivlictl Vipor Is reimbursed in great measure, to those troubled with weak kidneys, bjr a judicious use of Iiostetter's Stomach Bitters, whicb invigorates and stimulates without ex­ citing the urinary organs. In conjunction with its lnfla- ence upon tuem, it corrects acidity. Improves appetite, and ia in every way conducive to health aiid nerve r»- poee. Another marked quality is its control over ferae and ague, and Its power of preventing it. tWT For s&le by all Druggist* and Dealers generally. How a Pretty Jewess Saved Her Life. There is a pretty story told of how a lovely Jewess in a Russia town saved her property and her life during the re­ cent attacks upon tho Jews. . A great, hulking ruffian entered her shop and bought a loaf of bresid. After swallow­ ing a couple of moutbfuls he threw him­ self on the ground outside the shop door and began to howl piteously that lie was poisoned--the Jews had poisoned him. Of course an infuriated crowd instantly assembled, and it would have fared ill with our Jewess if she had not oasbed out of tho shop, and, snatching the bread out of the impostor's baud, I >egan to eat ill sight of them all. The crowd stopped, thunderstruck. A broad grin dawned on every countenance. One of them called out to her : " Alosha, lend me your knout, will you ?" Then the impostor started to his feet and seudih d oft', pursued by a mischievous, but no longer sanguinary, crowd. K 71 of business,weak­ ened by the strain of your duties avoid stimulants and use Hop Bitters. If yon are yountr and I discretion or diaslp* I ried or single, old or I poor health or languish I nesa, rely on H O p | Whoever yea are. whenever y ou feel | that your sygtem needs cleansing, ton-' lntr or stimulating, without intoxicating, t a k e H o p Bitter*. Ha-rayourfpa- pepsia, kidney or urinar'icom- plaint, disease of the stomach, bowels, blood, liver or>-t rves 1 You vl11 be cured if you use Hop Bitters fit you are 1 ' men of let- tern toiling ot?®i*a night work, to res­ tore bram nerve and | w&stes Hop B. I suffering from any In- I tion ; if you sr© mar- ng, suffering from ng on a bed ot stok- litters. Thousand* die an­ nually from some form of Kidney • disease that might hav* been prevented " r a timely use of HopBltters P" low spirited, try i t i I t m a y l aveyou r ife saved dreds has hun- HOP NEVER FAIL _i o. L e. is an absolate and Irresisti­ ble care for drunkenness, use of opium, tobacco,or narcotics. Soldbydrug- fristn. Sendlor Circular. HOP IMFiZU 'O CO., Sothwter, K. T. A Toronto, OnW For Chill* and S"ev©r f AND ALL DISEASE# Caaaei by Malarial Poisoning or the Stood. A "WARRANTED CUBE. Price, 1 .OO. For sale by all Druggists. WMFSSRBOOM J. T. FITZGERALD A CO., Commission Merchants, . OKAIN AND PR OVISIONS. 122 and 124 South Clark St., Chicago. Trading in lots of 6(H) hu«hol& and upward. Commission per cent. Correspondence solicited. L°^1G£NJ^NTED, TO SELL THE UFEttF PRESIDENT GARFIELD. ""i"' ">• lHdin« His Death and Burial. Profnnply niustr.-!te,i FlKi.it. th* fhmst »od Mother, Uuitoau. t': the 8' reant. A There L .» with th a Book ijuVi .| r- w Stoel Portrait of OAU. Md M^th'nr ,'.v'1r ™ d" Portraits of his Wife Sf t " S nt ' IT £"W"?' the Cabinet ^Scene 01 me ftimot iik , t JO Sick < haml>er, tho Fun.ual Pa- *6 and auihtmlio « Agentu llrst to the Speak auk*. J1!? ™!» complete and' . uih,,nt.o work. -r* ".'V J °rtun|> for Agenta llrni in t U uat iUaJl0£lk i&ft* Speak aide! HIDBAEO BRUM., Chicago. III.