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\p-" .7 C) • •' " " ii i --i.fc.w-i. . -mm, »-t--i --y Pledged but to Truth, to Liberty and Law | No Favors Win us and po Fear Shall Awe." s,#' VOL. 7. M'HENRY, ILLINOIS. WEDNESDAY. FEBRUARY 15, 1882. NO. 30, Pttto bed Every Wednesday by . slyke. jPUBLISHKsf Office in Old P. O. Block, ^ ** --<>PFOgITa U VKR8IDK House.-- »V , tERMSOF SUBSCRIPTION. * \\ jfovfettfia Advafte.e) .^50 ft *>t Pall wtthinThreo Months,.. ».W Subscription* received for throe 9fl six inthi In the Banff! proportion. ' BUSINESS CARDS. ,.^/f • I I i I.' I • ^ H. T. BBOWS.M.D. f ttTSTCIAX AND STTRGEOV. Ofll«e oy or the Post Ofllee, ownwlte Perry & »'«»• •Inrenp^iirt, McHenry, 111. k f> I- £ C. H. rEGER^, M, D- HTMCtAH AVf> SUR.iEOS, Johnsbargh, Ills.--Ottce hours 8 to 10, A. M. %r *%Kcltenry. 111. a. .r. HOW ANN M t>.: kvr> srJRGEOV, 0 opposite M. E. Church, HYStCTAN AND STTRGEOV, Office at mjr resilience. R. V. ASD8BSOW. K. Bi, ' *>IIYSIOIAX and Sareeon. "«««• »* i Bosler's Dra* Store, Opposite Parker Bouse, McHchry, Illinois. •m . 1 • CART, CARLS. M ALOOW and Boardlnsr House, Johnstoni*K Til. Pleasant Roonrre for Hunters ana Washermen. lee for the use of Hunters.-- Choice hnn^ rff Wines and Liquors always M hand. Call and see roc. PRATT HOUSB. A. PRATT, Proprietor. First class I mmmiMUiotti. faeeoeda, III. Good Barejln conneotton .jii Yilift.A BARBIAN BROV. ^ CIGAR Manufacturers, McWenrv, tlL Or­ders solicited. Shop, in Old Me Henry, la Keiter Block, two doors 'west of PtA.nr- OKAI.KK Ofilcft. . f RICHARU COMPTON. * • JUSTICE of the Peaceand Conveyancer.-- Willattend promptly to the collection of tebts. Volo, bake County, III. B. E. RICHARDS. plete Abstract ot Titles to land rv County, Illinois. Ofllee .with , Woodstock, 111. " l . E.M. OW^N. ^ ^ tvp:i11»r and MftRuf»vtur£rs vF Agent In Leading Farm Machinery.-- Prices low and Terms favorable. McHenry unty ( N. S. COLBY B eedcr Bfrk je lot *c k stock for sale. P lease call Sad examine ifore buying elsewhere. fCHRKtlf, McHenry Co., III. I Spanish Merino Sheop, Berkf hire and slanaChlna Swine. A choice lot *f young •'••ijA'tfltHiiftii BUSINESS CARDS. ii i , A. E. BALDWIN, M. D. PHYSICIAN AXP SrUGEOS. Office and , residoncs at Che old Stevera place on Clay St., Woodstock, III. Prompt attention given to professional calls at all hoars* VETKRINARY Illinois. C. S. GREEN. SURGEON. Richmond "JESSE A. BALDWIN, ATTORNEY at Law and SoUcitor in Chan, eery. Will practice in State and In Fed' efal Courts. Office, Sd Floor, New Custom House, Chicago. SIDNEY DISBROW, NOTARY PUIJLICand Conveyancer. A den. III. JOSEPH N. F RE USD. SALOON AND RESTAURANT old «tand,__opposito Bishop's M Bonslett's -,r Mill. Mo- Henrv, Til. t The c toicest Wines, Lionors and Oigars to IKS found in the county. Freeh Oysters in their season served up In any shape desired or for sale l»y the C*n. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. ANTONY ENGEI.X, QAT,00* and'Restaurant. Buck's old fttnnrt O _McHenry, III.--Tlip choicest Kentucky Whiskies, «our Mash, Wines, Oisrars, etc., always on hand. We Imv none but the best and sell at Reasonable PBices. Freab Oysters In their season. Soldiera* Depttl-hiieiit. CONDUCTED Bt%R. 8^||I»ENNETT. i < A i'. ...layfeii' DR. C. E. WILLIAMS. DEN TtST. Ressdence Dundee. Will be at, Wanennda the lAth and 25th of each month. When dnte« occur Saturday or Sun. day I make my visits the folloxvini?"- Monday- Also at Algonquin, every Tuesday. OjBce at Hotel. McHENRY HOUSE. PETER SMITH, PROPRIETOR. GOOD Board by the day or week at reason-ab!c>ate*. The choicest brands of Wine«, Liqnors and Oiirars. Good Stabling fbr Horses. A tine Piffc«n Hole Table in connection with the House. Give me a call, PETER SMITH. . A. M. CHURCH, Watchmakor and Jeweler NO. 187 RANDOLPH STREET, (Brljfga House,) Chicago, III. Special attention** pairing Fine watches and Chronometers. 4VA Full Assortment of Goods in his line*' F. J. CROSS, D E S T T X S T . McHenry, III. Pnlt Plates made of -the best material »frd fully warranted, $8.00. rilling^one-half usual rates. Special attention paid to regulating tad shaped teeth. Teeth extracted Without pain ttrt froe of charge where Artliici.vTTeeth are In. sorted tiv him. All Work fully warranted. Pure Nitrous Oxide Gas »lw»»« on and for tha painless extraction of teeth*, Richmond House, RICHMOND. ILL. C. N. CULVER, - - PROPRIETOR. HAVING recently purchased the aliOT® House, I have put it in thorongh repair, with new fnrriltue throughout, an«t would respectfnl'y invite the putronaare of the trav- eltne public and others. The tables will al­ ways lie provided with the best that can be procured, and polite and attentive waiters will l>e in readiness at all times to attend to the wants of fruests. No prtins will be spared to make this a First Class House. Large nnd commodious barns joft the premieea. Free Omnibus to and from all trains. Sample Rooms on first floor. TAKE NOTICE. ALL ye that , are In want of Tubs In any. form, from one bushel to5(W; if you want a Tubmade to a bunir-hnle, brinsr U alonpf. T will also take buildings to build and fitmtah, or otborvvise just as we can asrree. Shop work of all ktnda done to order on short no. tice. F. A. HE BARD. McHENRY,fILL t H. E. WKiHTMAN, Proprietor. First class rijrs, with or without drivers, ftunished nt reasonable rates. Teaming 01 all kinds done on short notice. A. WENDELL, CAEPEHTSE AHD JQUTOB McHenry, III. Will Inks contracts for putting li{> Bullitiiigf) and guarantee my work will compare wstli any man in the Slate, I can and will do work from 15 to 2b per cent cheaper thin other •• I have two of my boys who work witli me. which makes it possible for me to do lo. All Jobs In the Carpenter line promptty attended to. Gi ve me a call. lSfgl figyef LfeTTKR HQ. It wa» abont 3 p. M. IdO^pHl 35th, when the 4th Brigade ot^Bpvalry, (hen In the lead, had reach^^pilnt called Twelve Mile llridgW^nUhTying is mllea from Ale*andHa. jCTbe Union forces cloaetl up rtpMly,^, a* tliejr reached this vicinity, pi^pMited to en> rmmp fnr thn ntfl i a of aol- diert Indeed: san-burneiKUjH^d, ema­ ciated, hungry and (llirtf^Bnr enibu- lance* {fathered herfe, tOBtoad had been beared for th^mf^jRie troops marching through th«%pmher and Aelda.or by the Toade|<|| on° either flank of the train, which |p«isiste(l in great part of ambulance* and batt«. riea. Many llfeleaa htroea if ere there lifted from the ambulance aouch and' laid in t^ie grave. ^ Vf%ppeart that Gen. *wfc had on the previous night atterapM to send messengers through the ̂ fpufetlerale lines to Gen. Grover at -Alexandria, ordering that General t* move out with his command and {mythe Con­ federates near Cane IMva&fOne mee- obejr,| senjjer reached Gen. once prepared to officer. But Graver's Ml being needed. It was few of the beet horses be detailed at once, ami ing number of men to , andria that night, a« the situation, and stop evacuation of .that good men reported to about 4 P.M., we startedM ney. About one mile corn meal and hall horses, reasoning, of < Quaker adage that on i is no tine lost by stop| and provender. We rroomed our hot were eating, all the t) doleful Moriei wy HII Ing this situation and that awaited us if we ing on to Alexandria give vim to his war he pointed out three ting along i^it field at away. Iff also Mid he at superior not now that a jheommand »rr«* pond- to Alex- Ironr of proposed Twelve duty, and i«ur jour- *we found fed our the old if there prayer ^ A. WENDELL. »*>1>EALEB ALLEU WALSH, ¥ Ing t* hie fate stlona, could scarcely stand. Onr guards had coldier to take his plaoe, his service tried to wake us In the night but could being ended i» the same rank not. The truth was we had laid down with a sense of security. An earth­ quake could not' have aroased u*, yet when equally as jaded In many of the hard inarches of the campaign. If, per­ chance, we fell asleep, the zip of a half dozen muslret balls, or the blast of a bugle wvuld bring us to our feet, iTobe Omdmted.) •: kvlne Fro in the OUIaenSeldltiv KMIom. Some of the.prlnciples Involved In the allowance of pensions are peculiar. The examiners become at times lo­ gicians, which leads them to pursue a course of sophistical reasoning, which when analysed is decidedly amnslng. but at the same time very unjust. As an illustration of this we shall refer to a recent case, where the examiner bar­ ing it in charge announced to a broth­ er examiner that he should report ad­ versely on it because he had concluded the claim to be fraudulent. How had this sapient conclusion been reached? By no fact connected with the record, but simply because the applicant had waited fifteen year* before filing his application. Then lie had complied with eve^y requirement of the bureau, furnished perfect and complete proof of his service, his disability and its origin and connection with his service, and the preenmptlbn to which the ex­ aminer came from this state of facts, was that action in so good i'case would not have been deferred until so late a date, and that the fraudulent charac­ ter of the claim was prove# by the wry oom plete nese of the evldenoe. His companion suggested to him the case of a soldier who had lost his arm, which fact was stated In the record, and who had yet tailed to make, his application for the allowance therefor, and advised him to apply such a state of facts to hie mode of reasoning. The fact that a man did sot apply for a pension, this petty monthly stipend, when first entitled to do so, fnrnlahea nn avIdaaM wl<«uy«r thst hie clai« Is Mot bonajlde, nor should It subject the claimant to suspicion of fraud or wrong doing. The accumu­ lation of these monthly payment*, finally amounted to a sum which be- came valuable In the eye| of the claim­ ant, which at the heglnn PBTKB LEICKEM. MratdoorXorth of Riverside Block, McHenry II. J. A. SHERWOOD auctione ER s and apfkaiseb, Algonquin* III. * no nf atnAir fTftrvninff Tuols &nd Goorffi ^ of al l kinds promptly attended to. •lea a specialty. Terms reasonable Post JAceaddress Algonquin III. W. H. 8ANFORD, •Merchant Tailor In the store of 0. H. Dickinson, East aide of ?nUio Square, WOODSTOCK, ILL. A rood Stock of Fine Cloths for Suiting! eayson hand. Suits made to order and « ear ranted- Give me a call. W. H. SANFORD. air fit Woodstock III.,Sept. 27th. 18T6, M A R C U S CERMAN Manufactured by F. MARCUS, --DEALER IN-- PURE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. Woodstock The best Tonic in the world. Pint and Quart Bottles. III. Pat up«in P. MARCUS, Patentee. description, . The finest anil l>es t l'ocket Cutlery, sll warranted.-- The finest Razors, kwarranted for two vcars. Barbers Soap, Caps, Brush es, Straps, Eye Glasses, spectacle Eye Protectors for Snn or Snow. We also keep a full line of Fishinsr Tackle, Minnow Seins, Hammocks, and in fact evervtliing pertaining to Fishing and Iluntinff, can be found at my Store at reasonable Prices. » Violins, Acordcons, Picalas, Flutes, Violin Strinsrs, ana all other extras for Violihs. My stocks of HXW ARE is complete. Call and examiue it. I guarantee Prices that defy all competition. ^ ENGRLW. STORE IN HOWE'S BLOOK, NEAR THE BRIDGE, --DEALERS IX-- AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS. Have In their Warehouse a full itock of PLOWS, Of all the best make and patterns, which they are selling as low as a good article cac be bought anywhere. PUMPS! PUMPS! Both Iron and Wood, all sixes and prices. AND Wagon Shop. The unders'gned, at his Shop North of Perry A Martin's store near the Brick Church, is now prepared to do anything in the line of Ulacksimthiujr or Wagon Making, on short notice, and guarantee satisfaction. With the best off material and first-class workmen we are prepared to get up Buggies and Wajrons to order on the most reasonable terms and warrantias represented. Horse Shoemi & General Jilbin promptly attended to. If In wan! of a new Wagon, he snre to? cat at IIIT Shop, examine one of my Wtasrons and learri price before purchasing. Mv Wagons look FIRST PREMIUM AT THK COUNTY FAIR la«t Kali over all others. I will not be undersold,quality considered. Give Ms B. Call. PHILLIP HAUPERI8H. McHenry, III., March 21st, 1881. A few good Top Buggies always on hand, and Cutters and Sleighs in their season, Call when in want of any of the above, E. M. OWEN & SON. MOHRVRY, NOT. 7th I88L It. Bonalett, Near the Depot, McHENRY - • - ILLINOIS. Keens constantly on hand the finest brands of Flour and Feod of all kinds, which he.will sell at Wholesale or Retail at Bottom Prices. Fire different brands of Fiour always on hand and warranted as represented. SSTFlour delivered anywhere In the Cor Kration. Orders may be giren by Postal rd, Box 107, Post Office. GIVJ8 ME A CALL. L. BO NS LETT, ' . JfoHenry, March Stb, 1861* JOS. WIEDEMANN, . Saloon and Restaurant, NEAR THE DEPOT, MCHENRY, - ILLINOIS The best Brands of Wines, Liquors and Cigars always on Hand, Good Stabling for Horses. ALSO AGENT FOR Franz Falk's MILWAUKEE Lager Beer. Boer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al ways on hand cheaper than any other, quali t VTh<i8 Beerluia a world wide reputation, and Eood judges acknowledge it cannot oe sur. passed in the world. Qvders by mail promptly attended to. JOS. WIEDEMANN. McHenry, III. Aug. lotto, WW. 1882. HARPER'S -.BAZAR, ILLUSTRATED. This popular Journal is a rare com­ bination of literature, art and fashion. Its stories, essays and poems are by the beet writers of Europe and Amer­ ica; its engravings possess the highest artistic excellence, aiulin all matters pertaining to fashion it is universally acknowledged to be the leading au­ thority in the land. The new volume will contain many brilliant novelties. H&RPER'S PERIODICALS. $ 4 00 4 0(1 4 00 )0 00 7 00 1 50 9 00 1C0C United Per Year: HARPER'S BAZAR...., .. HARL'KH'S MAGAZIXE HAUI'ER'S WEJ5KL1 . The THREE above publication Anv TWO above named HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE.. H IRPKIL'S MAGAZINE 1 HARPER'S YOUNG I'KOPLEF HARPER'S FRANKLIN SQUARE LIBRARY, One Vear, (58 Nos.)...., jPostage free to all mbtcriber* in the SfatM or Canada. ___ The Volume* of the Bazar begin with the first number for January nt each year. When no time is men tioned It will be understood that the subscriber wishes to commence with the number next after the reoeipt ol 0r,nie last twelve annual yolumes of HARPER'S RAJ$AR, in neat cloth bind In? will be sent by mail, postage paid, or by express, free of expense (pro­ vided the freight does not exceed 91 per volume), for ®7.00 eaah. Cloth Cases for each volume, suitable for binding, will be sent by mail, post paid on receipt of §1.00eacb, Remittances should be made by Post-Olfice Money Order or Dralt, to avoid chance of loss. Newspapers are rwt to WPP J*** Without the express order of Harper 4 Brothers. Address. HAMPER <fr BROTHERS, Jfew Yoik, iSK-Ji j® In bis eyes that we plM J compelled the old man to mount his mule and ride along with us. He begged piteoualy to remain, but emer- gencv knows no law, and we took the old man along. We galloped on un- raoloated for about Ave miles, when suddenly, there came shots from the rear. The old man leaned forward, put spurs to his horse and pushed out. The poor old follow WM terribly frightenod. One soldier brought up his carbine to stop the old gent, but I cuffed it aside with my saber and the ball went towards the stars. We bare- ly halted in this fustlade. and without changing our gait gal loped on to Al­ exandria. When within about three miles of that place, on suddenly turn­ ing a bend in the road we wera flred upon by Union Cavalry doing picket duty. Bullets zipped about ua lively. We halted and used every meana in our power to make ourselves known, but all our efforts utterly failed. The firing grew hot and we resolved to end the matter. Having nothing to show for a truce we formed in column of twos and made rush for the picketllne. Our sabers were in their soabbards. Ours was a harmless charge, but to our great amazement tbe cavalry brok* and ran, wheeling and firing for a time. As they ran at a furious apeed, they were soon out of our ii{ht. When some two miles from town we found several hogs, prairie rooters, that the boys declared were as poor as Job's off ox. Several hd^M^were now giving out and I left nine %»n here, instruct to cat of thoso pigs aad es­ tablish a picket guard. Passing on we soon saw blue uniforms of infantry, neat and tidy. These soldiers were deployed as skirmishers. We could uow distinctly hear the long roll beat- iug in Alexandria. We had, iudeed, in a harmless way, caused a fearful oora- motion. One of us wearing an old plug hat, probably a relict of the last ceutury, raised the hat on a . saber point, high in air. and in this manner we, with uncovered heads, approached the advancing skirmishers. The in fantry officer in command did not credit our story, and ordered that we be taken to oauap under guard. This we stoutly protested against, aud while a guard was being detailed we rode for Alexandria at a furious pace leaving the astonished New Yorkers to snuff our dust and to reflect on the transitory and fleeting thiags of this life. Arriving at Alexandria X at once reported to Gen. Grover, who after rigid questioning and oroM-question- ing gave credit to our statements, and directed that we be taken to the quar­ ters of the 7tli Massachusetts Battery fed, given a plenty of strong coffee, and not be allowed to sleep more than four hours without waking. We ate a generous ration and did fuil justice to battery ooftee, and then we slept. But such a sleep! It was 1! A. M. next day when i woke, and so weak that 1 with other citizens te whom the Government is under no special obliga­ tion, it does not follow that the same rule can be applied te cases of disabili­ ty. In the field and In the prisons and In the camps were sown anion* the soldiers Hie seeds of disease and death. In some they made themselves early manifest, In others a superior vitality aud stronger constitutions kept the germ of disease from bursting out Im­ mediately, and When finally nature yielded to tbe Insidious poison, aad the mac became a Wreck of his former self, when beyond him rose np con­ fronting him many weary years of palir or suffering, and when he asked :he Government for aid, when he asked for only that which the people intend­ ed he should have, he was told that the connection between bis troubles aud afflictions and his patriotic service was too remote, and that his efforts to connect them were fraudulent. In order that this fraud Jilght be prevent­ ed a class ef officers were drilled and trained in the performance of their duties,^whlch were to consist of de­ priving' ̂ wherever technicalities ami limitations of law could be invoked* the soldier of his guerdon, and to stamp him with the badge of fraud. That frauds on the Pension Office have been attempted Is Indisputable, but that they are chiefly due to lack of confidence In thn morale of our defenders Is equally true. The Incentives to fraud embraced In our system should be obliterated, and the laws should be modified that every soldier who haaaclalm to the Nation's gratitude may appeal with a certainty of receiving the aid that be needs, whether bureau surgeons or sophistical clerks can or cannot his suf­ ferings and pain with the1 gallant ser­ vice which entitled him to all the benefits which the Government Intend­ ed to bestow on its preservers, an'J whether he left the battle-field mar* red and helplese or apparently un; scratched, to yield later to the terrible effects of his exposures and sufferings. A LAND AGENT'S 8TORY. A pretty good story la told about Land Agent Milner, of the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railroad, who one day had a party of Eastern far- While the politicians aOont the district are counting on Mr. Sherwln as a d*n»i congressman, and preparing to divide his inheritance among them, it.may be well enough for them to atop awhile and really inquire how that la. That many think h'e ought *o be isito sign in politics that a politician I* dead. If the huge petition for Pltau- gle's appointment at Aurora Is an/ indication of those who are pleaseit wi th Slmrwin there, he has a great backing; If he can control the car shops he can get the city. He has Influential friands at Batavia; and Turner, of Geneva, Is understood to be a political power whose influence ex* tends as far as DcKaJb county. With all that help he can carry Kane al­ though Elgin Is against him. Havlnf got Kane after a bitter fight bla dele- rate* will carry the tight to the bitter end. His army of postmasters in other counties about the district will get some delegates on who favpr Sherwln If their own favorite sons cant be nominated which they can't of course unless their number decrease^ and so tbe victory will be won. It may be well for the candidates to |ak« account of stock before going Into MM bu»i ness.--{tycamore Republican, will 111 tow. Warnings to the Vscclasta^ In theie days of vaccination, points are lu general demand, it not be aaslss to remember the follow* Ing: Don't pick your nose with ttm finger that has shortly before come lis contact with vaccine matter. A man In a neighboring village acted con* trary to this rule, and as a result the matter took kindly to his miee, made the acquaintance of tbe mem­ branes, spread all through his head, and ho Is now Just able to leave his bed after a confinement of more than two weeks,' A Glen's Fails lady scratched the bite of an luseot on her foot with the fingers that had been toying with her vaccinated arm. The following day her foot swelled. She was crib- pled for a month and pined away over the heartreuding prospect of wearing a No. 11 shoe for the remainder of her days, but she finally recovered. The so are practical points on vaccine po<ata, and will bear the caution they point out.--TVty Timet, AUTCTION SALm The undersigned, having n;*. efttlmo years perfect, had there been mlsalng links in the chain of testimony, be would have regarded It with more favorable cnnideratlon, bnt these two facts combined were sufficient to develop in his sophistical mind a theory by which the soldier would be deprived of the rights accorded him by ltw. Men know little of the incidents of life and the occurrences which dally take place, who seeV to establish as truths prin­ ciples based on faliaeltt born tf their own weak powers. In this case to which we refer, no presumptions were necessary. The facts were before the examiner, the testimony was complete and tlie duty was simply to verify this testlmouy and show Its application to the claim­ ant, but this was not what he proposed to d», nor was he guided 4u his action by blsebligstion as well to the Gov­ ernment employing him as to the dis­ abled soldier who was asserting his needs and his rights. But the examiner was not exclusive­ ly to blame for this, for he was simply walking in the footsteps of those who had preceded him, and in obedienoe te a system whloh, instead of regarding with confidence and trust the applicant for pensions, placed those charged with the duty of carrying out the pen­ sion laws in antagonism with them, and required that tbeM pensioners should not be regarded as honest, but as fraudulent claimants. And so ex auiiners and commissioners and secret agents, who saw in their work not the fulfillment of the obligations of the country to the soldier, but the detec­ tion of fraud, assumed it to exist in all cases, and endeavored to make the evidence fit their assumptions. This disposition to wrong an entire class whom the country was desirous of honoring, grew out of, largely, and was cultivated by, a radical defect in the peusion laws. This was the ne­ cessity to establish the direct connec­ tion between the wound or the disa­ bility aud the soldier's service. So far as wounds are concerned this may have been tbe only practical course, but we opine differently. Tbe debt of grat­ itude on the part of the nation toward its preserver was equally great when he passed unscathed through the con­ flict or came from the battle-field wounded or maimed, lf.snbsequently having escaped Unharmed from the fiery conflict while In his ordinary avo cations he Is so unfortunate as to lose an arm or a leg, why should not the same sentimeut of pity and gratitude prompt the people aud the Govefu me lit of the people to extend him sympathy and kindly aid? L should say as a measure of public justiee, that the obligation to exteud this aid was as great ii/susli a case as though he had left an 4rm or leg upon the battle field. But if we waive tills, so far as wounds are coucerned, and permit the ride, lasting all day. He beat to make them enthusiastic by re* hearsing the stories, which he had at tongue's eud, Of the marvelous crops of the valley, but te all Intents It was love's labor lost," fbr they would net thuse. This annoyed Miluer, but he had his revenge ip his reply to one of the party, who, with a sardonic smile, asked: "Well, Mr. Agent, la tbe anything that won't grow here?" *'Yes," replied Milner, "pumpkins won't." "WhatP exclaimed the cynleal land- buyers together, "pumpkins won't?" No," said Milner: "there are men in this county who would give 9250 au acre for land that would mature a ciop of pumpkins. They never have been able to get a crop since I've been here, and that's ten years.*1 Well, how stranger* "Why Is ItF* said land-buyer No. 1. This was Mllner's chance, and, with a serious expression, he replied : "Well, sir, the soli is so rich that the vines grew so fast they wear the pumpkins out dragging them over the ground."-- F. i$. Presbery in Kansas Sketchet 9"Therc Is a railroad conduotor out in Montana who is given to being fastidious, and he attsunpted to play a practical joke on a couple of passen­ gers the other day. They were (a bridal couple, and, of course, proper objects of humor. They had gone to sleep with their hands clapped loving­ ly, and the conductor borrowed a pair ot handcuffs from a sheriff who hap­ pened to be on the train, and slipping up quietly behind t the slumbering lovers he clasped them around their wrists, and then took a seat with the sheriff to enjoy the fun. When the couple awoke they laughed merrily over the situation, and as the train was approaching tho station where the passengers usually got dinner, the groom asked that the handcuffs be taken oft. In vain did the sheriff search through his clothes for the key, and was finally compelled to acknowl­ edge that he had either lost it, or left it at homo on the piano. The groom made a distui bance, and the result of it all was that the conductor sat all that afternoon trying to file the brace­ let off the lady"8 arm, and was dis­ charged from the service of the cotu- p*»y- ftjp-TT.igiii boasts of selling eleven million pounds of cheese on the Board of Trade last year. Just think of 11,000,000! And yet they complain that the consumption of cheese--most healthful aud nutricioua of food--is not one-fourth as much a«5 it should bo, aud the re^eon is that it is made »0 yooi ; that it is skimmed so close. At old Israel lioies, Nestor auiougthe dairymen, is wont to say: might us well cluw so much bark*** ,ofier» foraMe i wit: One 1 pair celts coming 9 year* ol^l cows, 1 heifer coming 3 yeara old, % sows, QO choice aheop, 1 mowing machine nlMy new, 1 sulky rako near- jy new, 1 aulKy cultivator, 1 sat drags, 1 plow, 1 fanning mill, 1 corn .shelter, new, 1 lumber wagon nearly ntW„t two-eeatsd buggy, 1 single top buggy, 1 set double harness, 1 set tingle har­ ness, l'cutter, 1 sot bobsleighs, 1 sad­ dle, one grind-stone, one bay raka, 1 hog rack, 1 wood rack, forks, rakes, shovels, hoes, 1 atone boat, about £00 bushels of oats, 800 or 900 btishela of corn, ten or fifteen tons of hay and a quantity of straw. Also househonld furniture and other articlea tooanaaor» ous to mention. TKRV3 OR SALK. All sums of 910 and under. Cash.-- Over that sum a credit ot eight months will be given on approved notes at 4 percent interest. No property to bo removed from the premises until lot- tied for. Sale positive. No post­ ponement on account of weather, WALTER 0B0PL4KV ^ ; Qao, H, STSWABT, Auctioneer, s »» AUCTION SALK. The undesigned will sell at PnbHo Auction, bn bis farm. In the town ot Grant, oue mile aouth of Gavin's Cor­ ners and at the west end of Long Lake, on Thursday, Feb. 83rd, 188a.--. Commencing at 11 o'clock A. M., tho following property: 1 span matched mares. 6 yeara eld, 38 choice oows, com­ ing in in tho spring, 3 yesrllugt, 3 calves, 1 sow aad pigs, fi slioats, choice sheep. 10 tous tame hay, 10 tons wild hay, 300 bushels oats. I fannlug mill, 1 set double harness, 1 pair bob sleighs, 1 kay rack, 3 plows, 3 cultiv- tors.l drag, 1 good lumber wagon, and- othef^tteusUs too numerous too men- tion. TKRMS OP SAL*.--All sums of tfi and under. Cash. Over that sum a credit of One Tear will be giveu on approved Notes with interest at six per oeu*. . r MASK .»»*$% • ; r. K, GBAK<»* Auctioneer. - Ught About the H«M we Live Ik The well*kuowu author uf "Medico! Common Sense",*1 Dr. N. B, Wolfe.of Cicinuati, O., has Just published a new book, culle<U-i"More light about the house we live in!** which is attractively illustrated, and abound; iu "piuin t<*ikK but true? agaimt swallowing dru^a in­ to the stomach, for any disease of tlx* no.se, throat ur lungs. It U a whole­ some little volume to read, and shoold be in the hands of every subscriber I** this paper, but especially tliese wlto have any trouble in tlieir head, their throat or their lungs. Send ten cents to tho Doctor, and get a copy of It by return mail. Address abuve. m " 8 PATRUXI%£ home Uduairy and b«y your Cigars of Barbian Broa. They make four UiQeicut luauds* aati iMjjt e<jual to the uest iu tha market»