Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 29 Mar 1882, p. 7

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v THE THREE ifllwe RMi gt«w bMide the road. Three roues very sweet; -One brats btd bertipx, one » Aud one iay at her feet fl'Aii-1 oue WM passionate Doric*-- * ' Kho left it wh'-re it grrew; ysAiiil one was love, as red as lw-> irfl Kbe panned to note its bus. fig y -iAnd one wan Trurt--she i;J It '*11 beneath her tread; ll': * :SIM* Uiotight the tender flower had died, > Bat Trust fa sever dead. . '-IkreeMwi 'Z1. •> {• When next >,• " . -~'Rhe (fathered Love, and kwi Deun^ &. > .And Trust was hers for aye. < grew oc bneh and xt ohe paa*ed that ^ • M fHE DEACONS EL0PEM1 44 Good eracious, Betsey, if there don't come Brother Skeels riding down the road in his buggy! Aud as sure as I live and breathe, he's all dressed up." At this exclamation from Maria, Bat-icy banged her flat-iron down on the invert-' ed saucer on her ironing table, with a force that nearly broke it, and with three strides reached the kitchen porch, and, putting up her big brawny hand to shield her eyes from the glare of the hot sun, gazed down the dusty road, rumb­ ling along which there came a rickety chaise, drawn by a placid old mare, wlibse gait said as plainly as words : " I have done with the vanities of the world.'* In the crazy vehicle, sat Deacon Skeels, arrayed in his black bombazine sack-coat, white home-span linen panta­ loons, and a tall white hat, ornamented with a pathetic crape band which al­ most concealed the crown. This was a dress of state, as it-were, with the dea­ con, and was seldom donned except on Sundays, luneral occasions, and at the time of cam^-meetings--the hat band having been purchased especially for the.funeral of the deacon's wife, who had passed into the spiritual world three months previous to the opening of our story. The deaoon evidently had someecheme in his mind, and clutched at the old mare impatiently, jerking energetically at the reins, in the vain endeavor to wooing had ran rather roughly at the outset, bat now he was evidently sailing into smooth waters, and his countenance assumed a benign expression, habitual to it when goods were selling well, and life seemed at its best. " You have been quite regular to prayer-meeting of late, Sister Maria; it's very soothing-like to my soul to see you there so frequently." No doubt it waa, for the deaoon, if ho had any of Betsey's keen insight, must have noticed that Maria's Iceen interest in religious matters had become sud­ denly awakened soon afttfr Sister Skeels liad been laid in the silent tomb; and her regular attendance at prayer-meeting was attributed by a few malicious per­ sons to other m6tivea than those of a pious nature. Whether the deacon had also divined Maria's motives, and attributed her re­ ligious enthusiasm to his eloquent pray­ ers and exhortations " in meeting " can­ not be known, but certainly the tender and sympathising glances she had cast over to his side of the church had their effect upon his susceptible bosom, and now that she sat on the settee so near him, in the cool and quiet seclusion of Squire Parrat's front room, with the honeysuckle odors stealing into the low door, he felt moved to tenderness. "Sister Marier," said he, "this is miserable world." , ' " Yes. Brother Skeels," said the maid» en, sympathetically. "I don't lake no sort of pleasure in nothing since I lost my partner; life seems so lonesome-like," said the deacon. " Scripture says it ain't good for to be alone." "I don't reckon as how ymH never find no one to take her plaoe," said Maria, timidly. "Ah! Sister Marier, there is thpm as could make me happy oqce more, as it were, and make me forgit my grief for her as lies in the burying-ground with the long grass waving over her," said the deacon in a burst of eloquence. But at this juncture the swallows in urge her a pace more in accordance with ^he Chimney flew up with a loud his feelings. But the beast was not to be nagged out of her accustomed digni­ ty, and merely switched her tail delib­ erately, and went along in her own way. "My sakea alive, Betsey, he's a com­ ing here !" " Well! you needn't go spilling the buttermilk and things over the olean floor, Maria," said Betsey, severely. Betsey had no nonsense about her, and promptly discouraged any affeeta- .tion or sentiment on the part of the sprightly Maria* * " Like enough he's drove round to git some flowers to put on Mrs. Skeeis' grave," added she, sarcastically. "You lie down there, Tiger, and keep quiet" But Maria, who saw a possible hus­ band in every single man she met, re­ sented this explanation ot the deacon's unexpected visit in holiday attire, and remarked, with some asperity: "Just as though a Aan ought to mourn everlast­ ing for a poor, weak little thing like her; she weren't no companion for him, no way. Such a man as the deaoon deserves a real lively partner." The deacon, after a prolonged con­ tention with the offended mare, had per­ suaded her to be tied, and was now walking up between Maria's beds of pinks and larkspurs, straight toward the front door, instead of coming around to the kitchen, as folks usually did except on very ceremonious occasions, which proceeding on the part oi the caused Maria to exclaim: " My Bakes alive !" " What does ail you, Maria? Do set down that bucket of. l^ilk and go aud open the front door- for the deacon, can't you ? What are you fluttering so about, just like the deacon was keeping company with, you? You do beat all, Maria. Go" along and open the door." And Betsey replaced the cold iron with a hot one from the stove, giving it a vindictive spat with her wet unger, began savagely ironing her brother An­ son's buff linen vest. " For the land's sake, Betsey, you don't expect me to let in Brother Skeels look­ ing like this, do you ? You just go and open the door while I go and slip on my other dress." And before Betsey could remonstrate, Maria had climbed up the. creaky stair­ case^ and there was no alternative but for her to receive the deacon. 4' It does Ipeat all how women do act when there's men folks around," mum­ bled Beteey, as she prooeeded to pull up the Venetian blinds, and open the front door for the worthy deacon, who had be- n lingering sonw little time under cover of the honeysuckle vine which grew on a frame over the entrance, to draw on a pair of black ootton gloves. " Good-day, Sister Elizabeth. A warn*, day." 44 Yes! right warm, I should think, to be riding around the country with gloves and things all on," said Betsey with great fleroeness. "Jess so !" he replied, abstractedly. " I reckon you oome to see toother Anson," said Betsey, to his further dis­ comfiture ; " he is just out in the pota­ to patch, hoeing, I'll call him." 4 4 Oh, never mind ! don't disturb him Sister Elizabeth," said the deacon, some­ what hastily ; " I just dropped in as I was going past to see how. you were all getting along. I can't stay long. Hem 1 it's quite warm." -•:£ Having stranded upon this rock onoe before, it seemed strange that the dea­ con should raslily have ventured a re­ mark the second time upon the weather; but it was an act born of desperation, as a drowning man will grasp at a thorn bush or stinging nettle when he finds himself going down. As might have been expected, he found himself stung. "You seem to feel the heat amazing, Mr. Skeels. 'Pears like you'd be more comfortable in your stare, daytimes, than riding around the country," said Betsey, in a thorny way that pricked the very heart out oi what little self-pos-* session ha had left; and he was about to withdraw, utterly discomfited, when the low door leading from the "en­ try-way" opened, and Maria appeared, dressed in a manner that would un­ doubtedly have elicited some satirical comment from her sister's sharp tongue, had not that worthy lady at the moment espied a family of vagabond pigs enter* ing the front gate, which the deacon, ill his excitement, had forgotten to fasten --and darted out after ukena, waving her sun ofthnet wildly, crying, " Shod! hia, there, shoo, there." ' c Maria seemed a little embarrassed, and the deacon, too, at first, not having recovered his equilibrium, was not quite at his ease, and occupied some little time with his hat. "Like as not, I'm hindering you from your chores, Sister Maria,8' said the dea­ oon, finally, having deposited his hat on a copy of 44 Fox's Martyrs " which lay on the table. " Oh, no I not in the least, Brother ij Skeels; I'm right glad to see yon, .' ,.aaiJ Maria, in such a modest, ooy, oo- ^quettash way. that the deaoon felt en- I mouraged at onoe, and moved his chair a :j little nearer the settee upon which Mori* 'was sitting. The deaoon felt that the course of his t wliirr tiiat caused Maria to start up with a little scream--albeit she had been ac­ customed to these summer swallows from childhood--and the good deacon could not refrain from clasping his arm about her firm waist and entreating her not to be alarmed. "My sakes! Brotber Skeels, what.a turn them birds did give me ! There! I feel quite relieved now; thank you, kindly," said the gentle Maria, leaning very near the deacon's bombazine bosom, her eyes' half elosed, and one little weather-beaten hand spread out over her maiden heart " Don't move till you're calm, Sister Marier." Whereat Miss Parrat, instead of be­ coming calm, showed signs of i nor eased agitation, as was perhaps natural under the circumstances. The large palm-leaf figures on the bosom of'her gown heaved wildly and she burst into tears ; then the summer coat sleeve tightened about the round waist, the maiden's head Bank lower and lower, until finally the cheek rested upon the bombazine bosom, and the deacon's voice whispered ; " Marier, you are the being I would have for my second partner; will you become Mrs. Skeels, and make me y ? " ithout waiting for her lover to re­ pent of the offer, Maria whispered gently, "Yes." It was night. Squire Anson Parrat's oats had - been cut and piled in little stacks about the field adjoining the old farm house. The chickens in the cherry tree beside the kitchen porch slept, peacefully on their pe/ch, and the pale light of the new moon shone softly over the scene. The iumites of the little house seemed to be resting likewise un­ der a peaceful spell, and all appeared to slumber. Not so, however. One wake­ ful being beneath that quiet roof was tossing restless on her high-posted couch. v This was no other than the gen­ tle Maria. She listened impatiently to the old clock ticking out the seconds, and to Betsey's peaceful snoring until she was assured that the household was &t rest for the night; then she stole softly from her bed, and by the faint light of the moon proceeded to array herself in a greon delaine gown which had been her " Sunday dress " time out of mind. She was' just doing her back hair when Tiger gave a growl, then a loud bark on hearing what sounded to him very much like the wheels of a rickety chaise rattling some distance down the pike. " We are diskivered," said the agitated Maria to herself, in great alarm. But no 1 Tiger stopped to listen for the near approach of the wheels, but either he had been mistaken in the noise or the chaise had stopped, for all was quiet. He gave several low, dissatisfied growls, as much as to say: " II may be all right, but I will wait and see." Maria went on with her dressing. Fi­ nally the last touches were added to her midnight toilet; she had tied on her head a coquettish bonnet of a previous fiMsMon, and all was in readiness save lierfront teeth. These were artificial, and, having been made by a bungling artist, were exceedingly uncomfortable and always laid aside by Maria in pri­ vate. She was sure she had put them in the right-hand corner of the stand- drawer. But no! Clearly they were not there. Maria's heart sank. She stole softly to the mantel-shelf and telt around among the brass candleaticKS, and came near knocking over the plaster cast of "Little Samuel," but no teeth were there. Heavens! She remem­ bered now. She had left them in "the pocket of her palm-leaf figured gown, on the occasion of the deacon s re­ cent call, and the dress was hanging in the " big press" in Betsey's room. A chill of dismay crept over Maria. But the teeth must be had. To appear without them was not to be thought of. She tat down on the floor and removed her tan-colored lew gaiters, then, with stealthy tread, sought the "press" in Betsey's room. It was a desperate act, but what will not a romantic maiden venture. when love stauds ready to re­ ward her? She gained the corner in which stood the press, opened the door cautiously and felt for the dress. JEtwas hanging on the peg where she had left it: the rummaged round in the folds for the pocket; the dress slipped from its pel' atjd ea:ne sliding down, the hookB and eyes on the waist scratched against the hide of the war irobe with a noise like that of rats working their way into B 'ticfs apartment. Now a fat was the one thing on earth of which the stout-hearted Betsey had a fear; She started up in great alarm, exclaiming, "There's them rats again I Shoo." Maria held her breath, ana try­ ing to escape Betsey's Bleepy, vacant stare leaned too far backward and sat down noiselessly on the floor of the ..press, mashing in the crown of the coquettish bonnet and knocking it for­ ward on her bead in a rakish way. Fortunately Betsey was too much afraid of rats to venture out on the floor in search of them, so she merely reached out and picked up one of her carpet slippers, lying conveniently near, and threw it at the gu&pomd intruder* with a warning to them to "Shoo." The missile ftewin an opposite direction from the object aimed at, or Maria's bonnet might have suffered yet more severely. As it was; Betsey, supposing from the intense silence which prevailed that she had frightened away the rats, lay down again and was soon peacefully sleeping. In the meantime, Maria sat breathless till assured of Betsey's oblivion, when she pulled herself out of her* uncomfort­ able position, and made off with suoh haste as was consistent with crfmped limbs and utter silence, taking the palm- leaf dress with her to' the seclusion of her own room. There by the rays of the m6on Bhe hastily searclied the pocket and secured the teeth which were hidden in the depths. These she placed in her mouth and then replaced the tan-colored gaiters, and, opening the door into the "entry-way," glided put, and, passing through the kitchen to avoid the watch­ ful Tiger, soon found herself standing under the blue canopy of heaven. AM here let us explain. On the oc­ casion of his recent call, after the tender scene of wooing described above, Dea­ con Skeels had elicit:*! from that ro­ mantic maiden a promise to meet him at the end of the "cow-pasture" on the present night, and go off 44 quiet like " and be united in the holy bonds in the Jittle sitting-room behind his shop. "* Whether he was prompted to this course by the d^ead of encountering Elizabeth, or of facuig the wrath of some of tlie other sisters in the neighborhood, who had their eyes on him siuce his bereave­ ment, does not appear. At all events, he wished the deed to be done quickly and quietly, and this midnight elope­ ment so pleased Maria, so far exceeded her wildest hopes, her most romantic wishes, that she readily consented to the plan, and hence we find her to - night, skipping along the cow- path to meet her waiting lover, with all the blithesome agility, if not the grace, of a young girl She hurried across the pasture no rap­ idly that when she reached the trysting place by the lane fence, where the deacon, the chaise and the old mare were await­ ing her, she was entirely out of breath, and had to iean for some minutes against the fence for support, while her lover embraced her through the rails. As soon as Maria recovered somewhat, she mounted to the top of the fence with what little assistanoe the deacon oould render her through the opening between the rails, and prepared to leap into his open arms. She did spring, or rather dropped, but the skirt of her gown caught on the end of a post, and there !she hung suspended, her tan-colored gaiters, with attendant ankles and hose, dancing wildly in mid-air, in a vain effort to find a resting place for their soles, while the recreant bonnet fell on her shoulders and her too-fatal teeth, insecurely fastened, flew out with the violence of the jerk she received. The agonized deacon stood below, uncertain whether to fly or remain. Gallantry, however, overcame his modesty, and with the encouraging admonition to his love, "Hold fast there, Marier, and I'll unhitch yer clothes," he proceeded to release her. Maria was likely to " hold fast." She remained a miserable fixture until the deacon hoisted himself to the top of the fence, and by dint of great effort suc­ ceeded in 44 unhitching" the dress, when Maria fell to the ground in a heap, near- ly fainting in dead earnest, Only the sight of the moonbeam playing on the silver plate of her front teeth saved her from a deep swoon. She clutched wild­ ly at them, and, before the deacon had descended from the fence, had them in their place again. That worthy person backed-slowly and cautiously down, and, when certain of standing firmly once more on level ground, looked around eagerly for the luckless bride, who still lay in the oorner, an object of pity as well as of admiration to a bridegroom. 441 hope you ain't noways hurt, Maria. Chirk up, and don't be oast down atsioh a time," said the deaoon, lifting her and leaning her against the fenoe, while he wiped the perspiration from his purple face. Then, placing his arm about the slender form of the agitated Maria, by Blow degrees he dragged her to where the chaise and the white mare were standing in the moonlight awaiting the love-lorn pair, and induced her to exert herself enough to mount the chariot, with assistant boosting from him. Finally they were off, Maria leaning helplessly against his bosom, and declar­ ing vaguely that she would *4 rather a' died," referring no doubt to her lover having seen. her stockings and under­ wear and false teeth. The moonlight was soft and mellow., the air sweet and balmy, the deaoon tender and affection­ ate, and by the time the old mare had turned her head around the corner of the lane, on whioh stood the deacon's house, Maria had yielded to the soften­ ing influences about her, and looked quite hopeful and bride-like. When the happy pair entered the little shop, Hymen seemed to smile on them, and the small sitting-room seen just be­ yond, ablaze with the beams of a lamp, looked like a glimpse of paradise to Maria. The hour had come for which she had prayed and longed for years. She was to be a bride. Henceforth she would be the envy of at least a dozen spinsters of the village and neighboring Her cup seemed full of hap- iat suggested the bride to the yard in a manner that hydrophobia, aad oaused shed teara The old woe, too, whioh had brctight the whole partv from the village in the memorable chaise--Betsey sitting Mke a glowing ^figure-head be­ tween the bride and groom, and a smalt boy hanging on behind -- being treated to an extra simper of oats, be­ came reooaciled to the match. Thus the deacon's aeeoxtd venture was not so bad afMr alL ./'V-- FRUITS AH0 Among scientific men who have made lon­ gevity a study it is almost unanimously agreed \ that a fruit aud vegetable diet in conducive to long life and perfect health. Aud it id among vhe vegeUbie Kingdom that we find our princi­ pal "toeana of restoring health to the invalid, and strength to ifa® weak. In olden times, when oentenari&ns were common, and men ot 60 years of age were considered vouUiful, heib doctors were the only puysiciaus. Dr. tiuy- sott's Yellow Dock and 8arna|>arilla, with me exoeptiou of oue ingredient, aud tbat U iron, u Ktrietly a vegetable compound, and is not injurious to the mo«t, delicate tuvalid. Its ef­ fect on the geueral ayatetn i* most wonderful. It gives real strength to every pi.rt or the body, and its Bootbing effect ia quieting the brum and nervotiM system w mom remarkable. Its principal ingredient* are Yellow Dock, Sarsapa*- rilhi, Junker, Iron, ttucLu, Celery and Calwava Bark. Wiiere the disease ia of an tibausUVe nuture. it quickly chet&H all decay. Iu oaaea of dyspepsia it does not ait as a Revere cathar­ tic, bat give* real strength to the digestive ©r- ganu, and ihuu permanently cares tiaa auu«». lui dweaM. Beecher the J>raa. It may be safely said that the drama is, of all popular amusements, the one with the greatest possibilities. It is art and poetry combined to speak to the noblest faculty--imagination. It can transport the wearied out of the tnmult- able hmTo'forget hi® o^m/ttf I 8oUt^f" In one of in sympathy fw the d^p^r^irra^ra of ' in th« MHEBOBPS CHILD. Borne body'K child is (lying--dying with the flash of hope on his young race, and somebo­ dy's mother thinking of the tune when that dear face will be hidden where no ray of hope can brighten it--btcau.se there was no cure for ooiwnniption. K.rdtr, if the child be your neighbor's, tako this oomforting word to the mother* heart be lore it is too late. Tell her Uiat consumption w curable ; that men are lin­ ing to-day whom the physician* prononnoed incurable, becnuae one lnug had been almost destroyed by the disease. Dr. Pierce's •• Gold­ en Medical Discovery" has cmed hundred*: surpasses cod liver oil, hypo phosphites and other medicines in curing this disease. Sold by druggists. i i m . How Some Poets Werked. How Drydcn worked I can not find recorded; doubtless at any time and all times, whenever the need of money pressed him. Pope always required his writing desk to be set upon his bed be­ fore he rose. Gray, the author of the "Elegy," was, perhaps, of all writers the most curiously minute in his method. It is said that he perfected each line sep­ arately, amending and rewriting it over aud over again, and never commenced another until the first had wholly satis- fled his fastidious taste. Byrousat down to write without any premeditation ; his idea* flowed with his ink, and one liu« suggested the next. But after the poem was completed, and during its passage through the press, he was continually altering, interlining, and adding. The first copy of " The Giaour " consisted of only 400 lines; to each new edition were added new passages, until it swelled to nearly 1,400 lines. During the printing of M The Bride of Abydos" he added 200 lines, and many of the original were altered again ana again. One of the most constantly la­ borious writers of whom we have any others; axcite alike his abhorrence for vice and his enthusiasm for virtue by truthfully portraying both ; make him laugh at the weaknesses he possesses^ great study of mine (at Gesta Hall, Kes­ wick), from breakfast till dinner, from dinner till tea, and from tea till supper, in my old black coat, with corduroys and 7 , Yu tT irT V I alternated witla the long worsted panta- . ! lacks; and j loons and gaiters in one, and the green sends him back to life not only rested and refreshed, but morally invigorated --more courageous, more* chivalric, en­ nobled in purpose. He cannot see " Richelieu " without a more vital realization of the power of impalpable faith and unarmed fidelity, nor " Hamlet" without a new horror for the most foul spirit of revenge, nor the " Merchant of Venice " without an in­ terne loathing for the petrifying influ­ ences of merciless avarice, nor "Othel­ lo" without an invigorated resolution against the tormenting tyranny of jeal­ ousy, nor " Richard III. " without an un- craven dread of the torturous inflictions of remorse. There is nothing in the pageantry of the amphitheater, in the phyt-ical feats of athletes, in the skilled harmony of passionless instruments, even in the eloquent music of the human voioe uninterpreted by aotion, so power­ ful in its effect upon human character for good or ill as the pageantry of the stage, the simulated mora! feats of its heroes, the skilled harmony of its im­ passioned acts and utterances. Shpk- spearo has greater power and over more minds than Beethoven. MB. SAMUEL DKI>ROH, of Loveland, Ohio, writes :" I think I have cause t© be glad. Af­ flicted for years with painful kidney troubles and chromic dyspepsia, 1 was induced to give Dr. Guvaott'n Yellow Dock and Harsaparilla a trial. The very first dose seemed to reach the right spot I don't know wimt a -hanlr arhrnr •our stomach now is." country. pinegs. The reverend gentleman, whom the deacon had imported for the occasion from "Kaintuck," in a skiff the previous afternoon, was roused from a Bound sleep into which he had fallen in a wood­ en rocking-chair by the open window, and the brief ceremony was performed which converted Miss Maria Parrat into Mrs. Deaoon Skeels. Let us pass over the • scenes that fol­ lowed, when the news of the elopement was spread throught village of L the next morning. Excitement ran high, and it. was not until the funeral of the oldest inhabitant, several weeks aft­ er, somewhat diverted the publio mind, that the sturtied citizens recovered from the " turn" it gave them. Mrs. Skeels greatly enjoyed the sen­ sation she had occasioned, and took fre­ quent walks past the comer grocery, where she was regarded by the as­ sembled boys and clerks somewhat in the light of a circus. Wheu Betsey became aware of the true state of afta rs, on the morning after the eventful night of the elopement, she broke the vials of her wrath and poured out the contents, HO to speak, and then, dressing herself in her bust clothes, stalked like an avenging demon into the village, and, appearing before the frightened Maria in the little sitting-room behind the shop--then and there forgave her, and took her and the deacon home to tea, when a metaphorical calf, in the form of a fatted chicken, was hunted down and served up, a savory peace-offering on "the big blue meat dish " in honor of the returning bride. Betsey said she " never could abide them aa went round cherishing spite an' things. After a thing was done, folks must make the best of it, and not go to haBkerin' after vengeanoe which didn't belong to them," As for Tiger he wae so overjoyed to see Maria back in the old place, he for­ got hia weight a* yeais, aad lot# rooai The Rat's Conqvwt. The inhabitants of the Laccadives de­ rive their food supplies from their abun­ dant fisheries and palm-trees. Sudden­ ly there appeared among them a colony of rats, who climbed the palms and nested in the crowns and nibbled daily at the young nuts. The startled island­ ers appealed to Government, aud Gov­ ernment sent them a supply of cats. Now. the cats, finding fish in plenty at the root of the trees, declined to climb them in search , of possible rats. The authorities then sent tfrem the mon­ goose, but the mongoose preferred to suck his dinner in the natives' hen*; coops. Last of all, the Government sent them owls; but the owl was regarded by the islanders as a "devil-bird," frightening young children out of their wits and turning old women into prophetesses of evil. Accordingly they made no more petitions, but, waiting quietly till the stir waa over, packed cats and owls and mongooses in a boat, and deported them solemnly to an uninhabited reef. Evi­ dently the rat-god was a god of trees, and it was useless to contend with him any further.--St. James Gazette. The Work ef Canine Smugglers. A Swiss correspondent tells ho# an jile and adroit band of canine smug­ glers have been„skillfully trained to per­ form dishonest work for their owners between Chiasso, in Switzerland, and Como, in Italy. They arrive at about noon in the former place by train, and are at once taken to a certain house, where, at nightfall, they are laden with contraband goods. The lighter articles are strung around their necks, the heav­ ier are strapped safely on their backs, and thus, as soon as it is perfectly dark, they are led forth, and started' on the southeast side of the town. From this point they make their way, over hill and dale, across the Swiss frontier into Italy, where they take refuge in some empty houses to which they have been accus­ tomed to go. There the contraband goods are unpacked, and .the dogs are soon afterward di*patchpd again by train to Chiasso. The distatfte traversed by these quadrupeds is net great, but their peculiar excellence is the sagacity with which they elude the Custom House officials lying in wait for them. Happiness. Whefi you rise in the morning form the resolution to make the day a happy one a fellow-creature. It is easily done; a left-off garment to a man who needa it; a kind word te the sorrowful; an en­ couraging expression to the striving-- trifles in themselves light ss air--will do at least for the twenty-four hours. And if you are young, depend upon it, it will tell when you are old; and if you are old, rest assured it will send you gently and happily down the stream of time to eternity. By the most simple arithme­ tical sum, look at the result, if you send one person away happily through the day, thai is three hundred and sixty- five in the conrae of a year. - And then auppose you live forty years only after you commence that course of medicine, you have made 14,600 people happy--at all events for a time. As A general thing I am. opposed to hanging, but whenever it shall be found to be necessary for the preservation of society, there is no more reason why you should not do it than that you should not pluck up a weed. Society will be the better for it, and the culprit no^worse off by being sent on. Send him on.-- Reedier. , A DOCTOR at Richmond says that if people will take a bath in hot whisky and roek aatt twioe a year they will sever catch a Cold. Un­ til somebody has tried llm new remedy--tttflk to the old reliable Dr. Bull's Congh Syrup. shade, and sitting at my desk, and have my picture and my history. * * * My actions are as regular as those of St. Dustan's quarter bags. Three pages of history after breakfast; then to tran­ scribe and copy for press, or to make my selections and biographies, or what else suits my humor till dinner time; from dinner till tea I read, write letters, see the newspapers, and very often induge in a siesta. After tea I go to poetry, and correct, and rewrite, and copy till I am tired, and then turn to anything till supper--and this is my life, which, if it be not a merry one, is yet as happy as heart could wish."--Aryoxy. TRITU 18 DtlOHTf, When Dr. Pierce, of Buffalo, N. Y., an­ nounced that his "Favorite Prescription" would positively cure the many diaeases and weakness­ es peculiar to women, somo doubted and con­ tinued to employ the harsh and caustic kcal treatment. Cut the mighty truth gradually be came acknowledged. Tbonsanda of ladies employed the "Favorite Prescription** were speedily cured. By druggists. IT is estimated that the Mormons gain 2,000 a year by immigration. FVnm 1840 to 1854, or ux fifteen years, 21,911 crossed the sea and the mountains. Between 1840 and 1860 28,740 bad en­ tered the Land of Promise. Within the next decade some 25,000 more took ship from Europe to Salt Lake, and not far from the same number between 1870 and 1882, or, in all, from the first ship­ load, in 1640, say about 85,000. IN the cure of severe ooughs, weak lungs, spitting of blood, and the early stages of Con- tumptioii, Dr.Pierce* "OoldenMedico! Bwoov- ery' has astonished ;he medical faculty. While it ewes the severest roughs, It atosngtheui th» •ytetem and purifies the Stood. By druggists. A 1'ODNO nobleman in a frightful rail­ way accident missed his valet. One of the guards came up to him and said : " My lord, we have found your servant, but he is cut in two." "Aw, is he?" said the young man, with a Dundreary draw], but with a trace of anxiety de­ picted on his countenance;. " Will you be good enough to see in which half he has got the key of my carpet-bag ?" Dcathful Diabetes. YOCNAPTOWN, Ohio, Aug. 6,1881. H. H. WABNKK & Co. : Sirs--Your Nafe betes Cure not only removed the prominent symptoms of diu betes with which I had loag rafToised, but restored me to fun and perfect health. Cou JOSIAH HOBBIKB. •»*» fatthfnl OH whan other failed C--»iipil»a !>»• fr««n «M*t ftanadta Pftyp- C«BD» TAWRT** U«d to if act a Mia lie Revenues of Our Ctovernmeat. The revenues of the Federal Govern­ ment from customs and miscellaueotu sources come within about $35,000,000 of meeting current expenses, including, of course, payment of interest on the- public debt and payments on account oi pensions. The Government, realizes about $135,000,000 from internal taxe*, and with the $100,000,000 surplus makes payments on account of the pnOlic debt. If tise present rate of taxation should continue twelve years, and the country meantime be spared the expense anii sdisturbance of war, the National debt would be actually paid, as the mor.ev would be at the disposal of the Govern­ ment to make such payments. This condition of affairs has led to the sug­ gestion in some quarters that the Gov­ ernment might relinquish this resource of internal taxation to the States, and i Vnoimct»en,wbo hn b-.naftiK-iffJ'Vuh make up any deficiency in revenues that Balsam ««•(? SmTn ™--r J-We.^e fly might arise from a tax on tea and coffee, which were placed upon the free list several years ago. The remission of the taxes on spirits and tobacco, however, is not generally regarded with favor. & Good Family Semeily. STRICTLY FOBS. narnslen «• Ike l»eltc«iA, • HE WAS a shrewd grocer, and when the lady, who was going to have the sewing society, came down for a jug of vinegar, he filled the jug with whiskey. And folks quietly asked her where she bought her vinegar, aud the next day the grocer sold six barrels of cheap vinegar to the customers who thronged his store. And though they were all pratty mad. they oonldn't very well kick, as he had given them what they had called for, and then to say anything would be to get laughed at--Boston Post. On Thirty Pwyw* Trial* The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall. Mich., will •end their Electro-Vol too Belt* and other Elec­ tric Appliances on trial for thirty days to any person afflicted with Nervotu Debility, Loet Vital'ty and kindred troubles, guaranteeing oomr>W't« restoration of vigor and manhood. Address M above without dalay. N. B.--No risk is incurred, as thirty dMs1 trial ia allowed. w Quick Consumption. ELM HALL, »UC., Dec. 2,1881. Piso'a Cure hax becu a great inend to me. I have used it in my family for eicht years. When I first heard of it I waa >n the last s;*go of iptick consiunption and was ready to die. Alter taking one bottle I waa able to work, and cm now entirely well. J EKKMlAH HAKRINQTOX. Far Brick tind Tile machinery Address JAMES F. CLARK, Morenci, Mich. UaeUi Ban's OOKDRIOH POWDKB prevents 4iseaae, pnriflee the blood, improves the appe­ tite, gives a smooth and glotw coat of hair aud keeps the animal in good condition. It cures Distemper, Coughs. Golds, Fevers and most of the diseases to which Horses, Cattle, Sheep, Bogs and Poultry are subject, and should be Mea by every oue owning or having the care ef Sold by all Druggists. GOUGH in«licine in tii« world low if. IN M Wm. C. Dieota. Merchant, af BoaHnrf "L' *•-' write*. Apr;l «b, 1S8L (hat nntoM tcf *•- * LUVO HILCAM HAICTREP KTSMSTMB< others knowing c«sb hsvf taken the 1 eij n aflbctad ty hit* f rieiicl« try Allen's Lute Wit ham at*er BQUI* ww shown him. Wt t»ia lit eurrd hi* cxmgfe.and that hmwim pr* t • c®. ^ M. A. OBAHAM A CO., Drvesfsta. ftHe.^Ohio, writ** ni of tb« car® of Mfetb3SnK5fi53w GoDStRnption, Coughs, Geife, Asthma, Croup, • » All Mwatw of tike Threat, I.«an Falaieaair 0.8. aulni, DraasM. *Oaktr,Ki LADLM think th«ra H BO msedr agoal * OBOUP tmA WHOOrmO OOUQ] £2? s£" for OBOUP TM4 "SUSfJt rasaass&r*-*- • li hamleec to Ms swat It is rw.. .pwiaia *g w» >•§ ifc&iustrtjs&ugsr"s HmEIfECTOltABittaHfiML mi IT *U MWRIM WW COiSBMPTM! 1 have a positive nawd, •m thooundsof am rtandtaf l'aro ban «nN in Its orocAcy that I will tacettwr with » VALUABLE ••M to any nffaier. Gin 1 DR. T. A. SLOCUM. MHVSOlfS ANOB lively prevent this ten Bjjly tore nine cases out wOD aava maay lives, sent (tee b BoaMai) Prevention ia better •otr a Co., Boston, Maaa., ';r N'.iNc 7 Jhc,. - •: peat, FA;-'! JM l*arc*»tv«- PIIU t Blood, and will completely chance I •nwsystem in three month*. An* will takp one pill each might fmm 1 toll* restored to round health, if mtrh a tbfntr be rwai' Sold evervwlWre or sent oy mail for S lortup at;m *. P. JUHRBOK ft CO., Beetea, Massif formerly Baaror, Me. « »*anta for the eeMtarated V V Moller Organ, H««emtown, Md. G< Good salary paid. town. Tanna and $5 outfit Address B. A Co.. Portland, Me. E66S SrcSreSarW^HUMs, D^yto^O I HISTORY*™ nimuuBS zsss*-*- AGENTS WANTED FOR THE : A WEEK, fltadsy athomeaatilyauda. Oosti; 9/2 outfit free. Addbrass Tkub i Co., Augusta, Ma A BOOK ob the proper treatment of thn Throat asS Lon*s,by R.Huntor,M.P.,we suta St..Chicago, frtt "WHERE do naughty, bad, wicked folks go to when they die?" asked a Sunday school teacher of her class, last Sabbath, iu this city. One bright boy, Who had probably heard his father talk^ answered: "Chicago 1" Who knows but that the boy may be right.--Fht- change!*^ THE best kdvioe to Catarrh sufferers--write Dr. C. It. Bykes, 169 Madison ureet, Chicago, for full information of a Sure Cure--Free. MONEY aad time are the heaviest bur­ dens of life, and the un happiest of all mortals are those who have more of either than they know how to use. ASK your druggist for "Dr. Sykes' Sure OUrs for Catarrh." Don't take any other. A BRAIN is a very hungry thiqg ia- deed, and he who posseses it must con­ stantly feed it by reading or thinking, or it will shrivel up or fall asleep. Ir the bowels are alufgish aad the ttvsr tor­ pid nss Kidney-Wort. ft E tn (9f) par at hom. Samples worth at frw. W «0 h*£U Address STINSOK A Co., Portland, Ma. $235 Embracing toil and aatbentie eecoanu of ew*s ; Mot! of anctont and modem time*, and ineiadiu a l» ' and 7li •• H NOW T»aria, etc.. TU (Mad for apafiman pa*»a and astsaAanaa tie ~ Idtaaa NATIOKJIL Pimuaxme Oo, A MONTH-AGENTS WANTED-90 best ••lling art ioiaa In the vrorld; I §nmp!»/><•«. Addraaa day Sranaua, Detroit, Uloh. wark '• •h,> "• S. tor the rO. Ti rrlUry tiina. tatalesm- t'RKl, SAWMILLS! "cnkriMoaawrita IBB AUUMAH 4k TAY&OB OO.M^e&eld.OUa. •10 « bum eooEunm ran aad a ti page JMBMI <XU.trsC address tar Ma. Ba&Ytaaa, f Akin RlfiCfi WAR ri,AS!HS,PES«IO*i LHRU UMOCO) «nd l> AT<I,.\ T*. F..r pn«w» tion bofnra Consrr'e nr tht* JV<ii irttnonto, addrp*« W.O. LANKAN, Claim Agent, HlSr St., \Va»;..i!(!t >n, D.C, MMiMtacree improved and ommprovMi lands for sale and exchancn. Finest timber in the world. Addrexn, for pertioBl6j»7V. B. ARCHKlt, Wirt C. H..WirtCJo.,W.Va. OPIUM re FiTtHp A Treaties on tbetrCHJ lllll weedy cure SENT FHKK. Da. J .(£ JSomniAjf ,P.O.Box M8.Chicago.ni, TBB Buasiana call their oonvieta " un­ fortunates." ** Brnkapaika." Quick, complete cure of urinary affections, smarting, frequent or difficult urination, kid­ ney diseases. $1 at druggists. Prepaid by express, fl.28, 6 for $5. JK.fi. WBLUL Jersey City, It J. foams k B&M, ATT*TS ft COUMSKLOUS At Law,! Booms • aad T, MUls Foarth St, 1 Das MOIXBS, lews, Aeg. i, .1JS0. Te the Hotanaa Pad Co. For the paat tix ytart I iiave Buffered from mmlarlal troubles and inactivity 0/ the Hetr, Indigestion and headache most of the id aS times continuing fer fifteen at tvKrdy days without relief. 1 have taken all the medicines known. I waa recommended to tut your fads. 1 did so and found absolute relief, and am frank to say I record it as a positive mre, 1 now wear one all the time and would not do without it. I write this because I feel this is due you, there being no longer any quet' tion my mind as to their merU. Yours truly, W. M. Joan. HIRES 11 nnce brvn » IMPKOTEW ROOT RFER. package wakes it axllons of a tto- 1 ciou«, KparoluiK Temiwr- bi'T>'r»g«». Ask yonti iut M, or wint by mail.. U. E. HIRfeS, 48 ItDe la, Aae, Philada. 4 ^speisips, hono7abl« ate'aaa eatHf o'i««rs AN. fit. C A.REED & SOWS' PlANOsT^ C A-REED & SONS' organs!^ * TTIIIIII III I IB----I 1 1 'T HI--M----BW^r CONSUMPTION CAN *S H A L L ' S li WM K B A L S A M pmeiti Ue Vnaaa Ike* Ammf^u3T| tlghteeee am s-K'isfer prefeeaieaal al aereaa Iks cheat1 Ifa (a iet aa ta HJ mm - - lilastiated 1 gent free. Special JEKV1-:- .AK"'14* ill ev.'ry county. K I'KIl'H Ti-U i OI1 MUSIC, 1^0 State St., CHICAOO. AC.EWTS WANTED! ron OUR The Women NewBo<,k I of Wormonism | MV'ld by th« vlethns 'Leinfteh-ts, with iriiroduftton ! y Mi#* Francis t C. WIMawie It haa bwn truly •• th« &z;te inojrtfn. anatomy ! M4 axaiuftnAtkiU t>f wonieu't. btarta rts tnev tkirsib &• d ache 'be «f Polytmn-.y." Thr!.l«ng»y hit«rmbig, and at 'igbi j fcy Foil ptflloulart ud special term* frw, At A- O. KXTTL£TOK * CO.. Chicago, 111. EVEKT Hon should contain Eflert's Extraot of Tar and Wild Chwrry. This < tlebraU d remefly will surely cure Colds, Coughs, Croup, Catarrh, CoiwutnptioD and all BroociiM complaints. Common Colds negiceted, are the eauee of oae- half the deaths. Don't wait for sickness to come, but this day tak« home a bottle of Eilei t'e Ex­ tract of Tar and Wild Chorry, for it may save the life of a loved one, wheu delay would be death. Bold by all Druggists. Toa dyspepsia, indigestion, dspr--toa of >plr» ita and general debility, ia their various fonaas: tlaA aa a. nMvanHM agaiW •ther intermittent fevera, the " Ferro-Pboapher- ated Elixir of Caliaaya," made by Caswell, Haa- ard A Oa, New York, and sold by aD druggist^ is the best tooie; sad for patients reooveri^ (torn fever or «ia m'nktuss tt te) m eqnal, -- v Qca-aiecs that the Chinese men should have such long hair. Ladies, if you would have your hair as long as the Chinese and as beautiful as a honrt's, use Carboliue, the deodorized pstio- ieem hair renewer and dresser. THKBS is no need of being imposed on if you will insist on having the Fnusar Brand of Axis On* greasing will last two weeks. ISEOTMTEH Snascraitiiinl O&dru lomnu- li«'«ig, fi7 i>Tepfs Walnut crEtxx Caw-. 5(.X't:iv«>,>ietal t p!au»,t?prfehtB*lk>w*,| (•priiiK<4, Uuup^tniHls. I (ora.uk. Maadlsa Kiollt-ns tor uii nlng', Tli-.ittr's Pi KKtV AN'O \OVFI. l.'if.EM . . wiiltrive as much mu.-ie ax It CilXSaS Ol.'CAKS, Ko "th.-rn akvi- dare huiW tbw orean (tt Is I'Aleptcij K.NOK.UOVS H tt KW. Sales onr MO a ufoutk, dntwiid ii.cri*apli.(r. Hr Pactory *oHtli»(t BAY aad by S» S KRi-tricLigbtaet K1C1IX tolUorUvra, Untril, I)*llT»rfd EN Ward VureLire, Mewl, Beak, Ac., ujj VvV • 'w»%\ I'nftfr «-ie yopr'n o»c y«a are pot eclbMrrM *111 jirouiptty rclundaa«nc]r with btura^ cuts r.:s musn TEA C-stEcm? In petfon, you buy; <•> with po'ti :• •• R^L'FRSLJ^JILLOWIFD TOIARRXVOR .0 « ay. j osi u: u welcome. Fk« C atlriidani. n.rtt* all train*. 31 . _ . . u u a i r Otvui ^ *30. itu. siouri. Fiaw>fi rtt!< •»» to fltCb. tar Jicautij ul itluiftnicd Cutmlvguefnm* Tlcase Address or call epen DABTEL P. BEATTY, ^TsaUngtcs, Snr Jimqw S.'k $ IOWA Ra il Ro ad Over Half Hllllaa Acre* TSIITU ^ vmvrrr. S TKII1 rl M NAlTllin / AA liaitfl Rwf aa4 finrf mi Ar » mam mm «t* / \ aa4 . 1 ncraat ef O'wbwhaaiea s IMN. ytoM at aiseiiM, ElTSST - IOWA Ra il Ro ad LAND TSIITU ^ vmvrrr. S TKII1 rl M NAlTllin / AA liaitfl Rwf aa4 finrf mi Ar » mam mm «t* / \ aa4 . 1 ncraat ef O'wbwhaaiea s IMN. ytoM at aiseiiM, ElTSST - tor Bale If the lwaR.it.Lii4 Co. Cedsf fiapMs, leva. Ra il Ro ad LAND O. lf.U. Hats tor Bale If the lwaR.it.Lii4 Co. Cedsf fiapMs, leva. Ra il Ro ad LAND lit.S UK1T1KU TO ADTBKTlKim EIiroae «ajr joa tawIka SL4vcrtlsin>--l In tlil> piM^er. #rmrm 3T: 1 have used DR. HABTIK I Iaoit ToJtfC In tuy -Are Tears la tuedldne, ht*e never tonad anythlnar to icdoes. In iwany eases of Nervejw poverished oonditioa of ike bkx Ueaae that bare balled *ome of feaicfa a nece^ty 1» Bt. Lov 18. Mo.. Kov. aa, MB 1M-- sshi>slsiisH>/W«»a« to A isai>lsiiWia^l>» jwMtVii !•> Pifsilas mfSSSST/SmT^BS •• mnKM twi IBON remedy, hu lnmyhaada. ef * V ' •AMIMCTmUBBYTMDI. * : ^ I'a. ^ ;j 1" M L *. . s " '4' '< f » * .. - 14

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