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7®-'~ ^ ; '*bA* • 11 ' • V :*•?>;{•> '• ' •"• • ;-' • 4;t.~* •• t »L ^#CTOe" atinny fte d* she want, '• j®» J?? €3 Who te onlr Bowereigii tad*; eaid, " Such days wet® never To waste In oortie™ shady." fb« would aoi take a Biggit nay, '••'• ••"i"::-l Exonaiiigor danjing. ' ^ Qoon OIK," ate f<»iA "«ND tarn li * - ^ ̂ Secaaae theeaa ia chining." Vd^:-'44i0(m*pJBBded-tettaw; "Why, jouas»» < *,••'"' v J 'Tig mall-day for GoIconAa I" * 1 Another: " when I've read these I»»at pages of 'Deronda.'" ';•• ' •;.* • ?»wo miscreants who tad slyly #e4'. ; ' t'\r. * '.Straw hat and Dolly Varden) V ' tVere captured, lipe and fingers Deep In the kitchen-garden. .KtfC*. pleading was the least excuse, Sue brooded no contradiction; •VM on*, g:V.f;-ilsi*«The heat yon cannot make excuse," s? , i ,c Those letters are a fiction!" "II ;"f..3* You've played lawn tennis half th« dVt Kv.: Than which my work is coaler.'! .,a. _ ' " J*|tad so at lust ehe got her my* 'f ' A ;* ; Oar moet despotic ruler. sat oar stations row by row, p;{ And marshaled ns sedately; ^ See, now, this is the way to go, . Th^' swaths want turning BtmigM jjJJeaf seize your rakes like whips i Nor drag them limp and lasy." The haymaker* who drank their * ' In shadow, thought ue crazy. , , i But not five minutes' work was done <t?s *• •?>.* Ere defalcation tried her; • . •<?•" line and Kate's merged into OOB, , ' 1 >.•: And Jack must taste the cider. *\! l&ybile some would loiter, some wo old play, ADd some would rest already-- ' Alas!" whe sighed, " for all I say, I cannot keep you steady." Across the field there swept a tide Of voices, songs and laughter; She naked her line with honest pride, I followed Bilent after. \ V'fi left the otbera far behind, Overmastered by the weather; "And finished whew the roses biill The further hedge together. What made me bold ? Borne words we By chance; or silence sweeter; While all the snmuier sounds awoke, And Bang in tender meter. I only know, my fate essayed, I won her sweet, resigning; Nor did she blame me that I made Hay while the sun was shining. -The Argoty, AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA. One evening Capt. Woodward, form­ erly an officer of the British army, who had been engaged in hunting with three of his friends and a native guide in Up­ per Ceylon, went into camp. The guide nod adopted the Christian name of Jack, and was a thin, wiry fellow, very swarthy, with a glittering black eye, and a dexterity and quickness of movement which could notvbe sur­ passed. Like moat of his class, %e was taciturn and reserved, though he could not be called snlleu or ill-natured. The four hunters were lolling on the ground alter supper, discussing elephant-hunt­ ing. JacjJc mentioned a remarkable fact, that no one had ever been able to finrj in India the remains of an elephant that had died a natural death. The remains of the mammoth beast had been dis­ covered in Africa, but never, so far as known, in the "' Cinnamon Isle." He also said that in the year 1799, Schum- achofif, a fisherman of Ton goose, in the dominions of the Czar of Russia, came upon the form of an elephant perfectly preserved in solid ice. It was in the neighborhood of the Lena river, one of the coldest and moist desolate regions on the globe. It took several years for the Buperstitioua fisherman to muster suf­ ficient courage to attack the carcass. When he did so he despoiled it of ita magnificent tusks, and then left the flesh for the wolvee, who speedily disposed of every particle. While the hunters were gossiping in this way the trumpeting of elephants was heard, and Jack sprang to his feet like a flash. The men were not alarmed, for they were ill a country where these ani­ mals were to be looked for at any and all times. They suspended their con­ versation, however, and looked at Jack, who was peering intently into the gloom, his expression and manner showing, as he shaded his eyes with his hand, that something more than usual interested him. mien the peculiar wheezing, trumpeting was repeated, the fellow stole away from the camp-fire with the silence of an Indian scout, going in the direction whence the sound came. He was absent about fifteen minutes, when he returned considerably agitated. "You must get away from here," he said to Capt. Woodward. " Who says so ? " asked the astonished banter. "The elephants are mad." "Bo are we," said Capt. Woodward, he and his companions laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing, " and we don't propose to withdraw until these fel­ lows establish their priority of claim." .Jftck soon convinced them of the wisdom of ohanging their camp without any de­ lay. It had been established beside a highway along which.a herd of elephants were coming, and they were so angered at sight of the hunters that they would soon attack them unless they withdrew. €apt, Woodward thought it would be Bare sport to hold their ground and open fight with the beasts, and his comoan- iona we^-e disposed to do so, but Jack, in w'iiose discretion all placed great con­ fidence, shook his head. "It won't do. They will kill every one of you." He explained that he knew the herd, which numbered fully twenty unusually large dnimals, led by a bull of great size and vicious temper. They were all "wicked" animals, and the result of a charge from them would be disastrous beyond esti- ried over fan shoulder a coil of buffalo rope, with which he intended to cateh the savage bull elephant. When Capt. Woodward learned that on this specjp] ocmsion the per* was, unusually grave, and the had coDa&tM te all< his boy the post t« allow ger, he told his companions to see that their guns were well loaded and ready for in­ stant use, for he believed that something of the kicd would be necessary to save the lad's life. It was easy for Jack to follow the herd of elephants, as the spoor Or trail left bv them was very plain. U kept to the main . highway for a halPlfeU^ and then turned into the wood?, where, the hunters followed on foot, as it Wll impossible for the horses to pick their w»y any further. It was not long before the herd were discovered somewhat scattered, but in each other's company, as may be said. The day was very warm, and, having helped them­ selves to food pretty liberally during the cooler hours of the morning, they were dawdling away their ifsae. Naiie wea& lying down, for very rarely is an ele­ phant seen in that postti^h, uttiesfclie is ill, instances being common, where they* have not lain dqxsw once in j ears. They were groping among the leaves with their trunks in a-jpray which showed the^ were" in no special need of food, hud several of them were having great sport in a1smill stream of 'water. ' Drawing up the fluid in their trunks, &iey Spurted it over each other and upon themselves in a style that showed they were not lacking in a sense of hnlhor SB&aport:1 T h e i m m e f c s f e b u l l , f u l l y m l a r g e ' t f i e great "Jumbo," was standing bjr him­ self, with his trunk Jbigh in the air, his position being more favorable than was expected. How a boy, even though' 5a professional elephant-catcher, was. to make captive this , giant and /savage animal was more than Capt. Woodward and lii^ friends could comprehend. The officer touched Jack oh m arm and said : , l i. - "Better#ot let him tiy,£tihe will be killed." " He mtfst i^jn'the risk ab" bis father did," was the reply of the patent; who refuse^ to interfere. .;; . With great care and stealth the En­ glish hunters secured a position over a hundred^ yards 'disifttaV -#jhf»re . VkJfcy crouched upon the ground and watched the actions of the lad with an interest that can scarcely be imagined; The other elephants did not suspect any dan­ ger, but were likeW to^tajte the ajaroi at any moment, and Jack would not •p<*- mit his friends to venture any closer. He iiiAself crept to a position half way" between them and the bull, where fca lav flat on hiB face an,dvwp.tched the aa- tions of his boy, as he moved stealthily toward the beast, rope in hand. It was necessary to approach the elephant from the .rear, for it can be understood that he would detect And fMlstrfttc raj design from the front, Qis, hqad being awav, Jim advanced in a line with? 'his father and the white men; but, while several rods distant, the bull swung his haunches around, so that the nimble lad was forced to make a detour, which g&Ve Capt. Woodward and his friends on^y an indistinct view. • : " v However, the bull lurched bftok tti» his former position ahbobt immediately, and everything was prought to plain view again. The graceful figure of Jim was seen a minute later directly) under the belly of the huge creature, who was still insert­ ing his trunk among the leaves and" branches in a lazy fashion, and with no suspicion of the pigmy that was on the ground beneath him. Watching Jim closely, the Europeans saw him rise partly to his feet, and, reaching out ips hand, tickle the hind leg of the beast. Instantly the trunk ceased its groping, and the brute seemed to. wonder what was going on away down there. Theft* as it continued, he raised his leg, some­ thing after Hie manner of a barefooted boy when a mischievous lad scratched the sole pf his foot. The instant the beam-like leg came up, the watchful lad : slipped the noose of the buffitlo rope over it, drawing the knot tight with great dexterity, and then whisking froin beneath the brute with the other end of the rope in his hand. In an instant this was wound around a strong trunk sev­ eral times, and it looked as if the gi­ gantic captive was secured besyoud all possibility of escape. But he was qmck to discover that something was wrong, and, surging heavily about in quest of his* enemy, he uttered sueh furious trumpetings that 'the rest of the herd was thrown into excitement. ' They could not know the precise nature of the peril, but they understood that some­ thing was amiss, and thty proved'their " I'll catch the boll to-morrow," said Jack, with a knowing shake of his head. " I'll stop his ill-manners." " How will you do that ?" asked Capt. Woodward, in astonishment. "Me and Jim will do it." Jim was the name of Jack's little boy, whom be wbs training to be an elephant catch't like himself. He lived only a few miles away, had been with the company sev­ eral times, and was quite a favorite. He w&3 an only child and generally stayed at home with his mother while his father was with the English hunt- era. Only a short way off was a hill, with a number of trees. Jack climbed the tallest of these, and from the elevation he oould see his own hut and the settle­ ment Very plainly. Although he could not detect small objects, yet when he broke off a large branch and waved it back and forth several times, he was sure it would do what he wished, and he came back to camp saying that Jim would be ou hand shortly. Such proved to be the case, for the signal must have attracted the notice of the sinewy little fellow, who made his appearance in camp within the succeeding half-hour. When he was told by his father that he was to assist in taking an enormous and Vely dangerous elephant, the lad was so pleased that he jumped up and down several times, clapped his hands to­ gether and grinned, until all of his white, even teeth were visible. The hunters, as a matter of course, were given permission to go with the catch- , ers, who pledged themselves to secure the wicked old bull before night Capt. Woodward agreed to place themselves en­ tirely under the direction of Jack, keep­ ing far enough in the background to avoid interference with any of his plana It was a singular sight when the two elephant catchers strode forth almost jauntily, that neither had a gun, the only weapon being a small, slender, but very sharp knife, worn at the waist. The boy Jim, as we walked along, car- cowjtrdice by, insta^y w>*kiai w ,ifea woods. ' Little Jimmy was so delighted over his success that he paused in front of the captive, and, dancing and"ffingfhg Uls arm# about, shouted " Dah ! dab !" a cry which is particularly offensive to the elephant. In this case it proved more stirring than the_la4 ejijepte^, Syhile he was frolicking en Lps 'tfesli . and gesticulating fa#' the whrt©.JiuiAers to come forward, his father uttered a warning cry. The bull had broken loose and was rushing down with pro­ digious speed upon the boy, who was almost within reach of bis extended trunk, when the shout from his'parent apprised him of his terrible danger. It would have been utterly impfesjble f<JT the little fellow to escape but .'.for MI extraordinary exploit on the part of nis father, who, comprehending the immi­ nence of the danger to his child, stilfc remained oool and self-possessed enough to save him. Risking almost certain death, Jack dashed between his boy and the savage bull, and, throwing both arms in the sir, uttered the aggravating cry. " Dah ! dah !" To do this compelled him to step almost directly. ji^to a Peril from which thert was * no fescape. - Be succeeded in diverting atterrfcion TO liifu- self, though it looked like a voluntary sacrifice of his own life to save that of his boy. The bull could not fail to con­ centrate his fury on the man who dared to defy him after the strong rope had; broken, and it looked as if the ppweniud trunk would infold him before he could stir from his tracks ; but Jack made a tremendous bound to the left, shouting at the top of his voice : " Shoot hiiu as he turns." This maneuver oould not have saved the, elephant-catcher had his call been un­ heeded, but fortunately Cfipt. Wood­ ward was expecting eomethih? of tW kind, and when the huge beast fartsei with hiB outstretched tnuik to grasp the fugitive, he gave the wry best chance the hunters could wish. As the fore leg was thrown forward, two of them beside the Captain fired directly back of it, a^d the bull sank heavily- to tbie grcrorid, wounded so mortally that he lived only a very few minutes. A BREH HAM (Tex as)citizen relates that, being a rebel soldier, he was engaged as an orderly sergeant in the battle of Seven Pines, and carried, in his pocket, his Bible and a roll book of his company. Through this roll book the bullet, which the Bible eventually stopped, made its way, and every man whose name was struck by the ball in its passage was either killed or wounded. BLDEIFT AMANUENSIS. Aat lateresttaff Talk With the Hu Whe IMI to Write for Charin Dickeaa. -• " Toil were an cmiamensiB ef Dickans, wefra you not?" " Yes ; I did short-hand work for Mr. Dickens for eighteen months. I did not take dictations for any of his novels, only his fugitive pieces. He dictated to me most ef his articles in All the Year Ifound. He was a very cleve* man to those under him. He always treated me very well indeed. Most people seem to think Dickens was a ready writer. This is by no me ins the case. He used to come into his office in St. Catherine street about 8 o'clock in the morning and begin dictating. He would walk up and down the floor several times after dictating a sentence or a paragraph, and ask me to read it. I would do so, and he would, in nine cases out of ten, order me to strike out certain words and insert Others. . He was generally tired out at 11 d'clock, and went down to his club on the Strand. A very singular thing was that he tiever dictated the closing paragraphs of bis story. He always fin­ ished it himself. I used to look in the paper for it, and find that he had changed it very greatly from what he had dictated to me. a " Dickens had a very odd habit of oombing his hair. He would oomb it a hundred times in a day. He seemed never to tire of it. The first thing he did on ooming into the office was to oomb his hair. I have seen him dictate a sentence or two, and then begin comb­ ing. When .he got through he dictated another sentence. He was very careful about his writings. He wanted every sentence to be as perfect as possible be­ fore letting it go to press. " Dickens was an odd fellow regarding the company he sought. I have known him, while I was employed by him, to go down to the Seven Dials, about the worst place in London, and sleep and eat there. He roasted his herring where the rest did, and slept with the poorest. He loved low society. He never seemed so happy' as when seated in a poor coffee­ house, with a crowd of the lower classes talking around him. He never missed a word that was said, and was the closest observer I ever saw. Nothing escaped him. When I was working for him he was at the zenith of his fame, just be­ fore his death"; and even then he loved these careless, rollicking rounds among ,|he poor bettejr than a high-toned din- " Was he as great a drinker as he has the reputation of being ?" ; "I never saw him drunk myself, I have seen him several times exhilarated, however. He only drank the best of wine, but he drank that very freely. Sherry was his especial favorite, and fie never refused a glass of fine old sherry. He was an insatiate cigarette-smoker, and when dictating to me always had a cigarette in his mouth. He was a very spruce man, too. He brushed his coat frequently, and changed his collars sev­ eral times a day. He was every bit as humorous ill his speech as in his writings. When he was in a peculiarly fine humor he could keep you laughing* by the h®ur with his witty talk. He was not one of those men who are above those they em­ ploy ; he chatted as freely with me as "With any member of his club on th<# Strand, Dickens was undoubtedly the best after-dinner speaker in England. I heard him at Whitehall once, the occa­ sion being the anniversary of th^ British Museum. There was an enormous crowd* hardly standing room, and he kept them in one continual roar. He was a fine actor, and this, added to his wit, made him irresistibly funny. H© was a great eater; not an epicure, bnt a gourmand. He ate, and ate, and ate, and cared little for the quality so there was enough before' him."--Louiwilie Com­ mercial. % Bffl%alt Close Relations. [Texas 9lfti*Rs.i mer is an old Austin boy of the most modern type, who always tells his parents just what he thinks about them, regardless of their feelings. Not long sihee he wanted to celebrate.his birthday with some erf his youthful com­ panions, so that he applied to his father for an ndeouate appropriation. Colonel Palmer, who is a close relation of Wil­ liam's, being his penurious father, re- Ejibnded with a quarter of a dollar. Billy looked at the quarter, sneered at it, and finally a id to the author of his' existence: "That's a mighfrp slim appropriation to celebrate the thirteenth birthday of an Austin boy-on, but still I don't re- , proaeh you. You are not to blame for mv birthday." *" What do you mean, sir?" whooped the now thoroughly aroused father. --•••*'I mean just what I say. If mother hadn't married such a close relation as you are, I wouldn't never have had any. birthday to celebrate, and I would be all the better off. She is the one who is W blamd. She should have married a man of more liberal views, and then my faflier would have afforded me the means of celebrating my birthday in accord­ ance with my social status." I'aMu Often a doctor will say: "Well, now if you ttill only have faith in my treatment I will core you." Stuff and nonsense! The idea is ab­ surd, and ytt it is a fixed notion with many, eipccia£y tboee of tiie quack fraternity who frighten the young into the use of their nostrums and then exeunt; their fj-ihue to cure from a want •( laith on the part of their vic­ tim. The inventor of . Dr. Ouynott'B Yellow Pock and Ssreapttrilla, an old and esteemed physician, used to take especial delight in per­ suading those who had no fuitli in his prescrip­ tion to "only just try it." Faith or no faith, ite effect as a blood {'iirifitr RUd trim Ktrem-tljeiier of the liveT, kidneys and nerveus system is mobt wonderful and is proven in every instance where nsed. The proprietors offer a thousand dollars reward for any case of impure Uood, weakness, • iU-l»e<ltFn, dycf.ei indigestion, nefvqpaath'lrf^, Uriynry^-ty.^jie-s. liver com­ plaint or any chronio'iemaleTiilmeiit that tliis remedy does not benefit--Gazette. Ask ypur druggist to get it for yon. THE salt mines on Avery's island, a few miles south of Iberiay La., now turn put o4&c 240,000 pounds of the manu­ factured article daily, and the produc­ tion can be almost indefinitely increased. The salt goes to Galveston, New Orleans and Mobile for distribution. The de­ posit was discovered in 1862, worked bv the Confederate Government in a small way until Federal gunboats stopped the business, and it was not until 1879 that a company was organized which haB •IWaiftMto mteing a success. • J. F. D., of Cincinnati, O., writes: "Dr. GUVKOU'S Yellow Dock and Sarsapaiitla has eradicated from a>y system every trace of im­ pure blood, resulting from a Mid case of scrofula and syphilitic disorder of many \ earn' sUnding." DR. WIIIIABD PARKKK, of New York, •was induced to study medicine in rather an unusual way. When in his Freshman vear at Harvard his " chum " met with an accident which required the services of a surgeon. The lute Dr. John C. Warren, the famous Boston surgeon, •was called, and his positivenees in the diagnosia and skill in the treatment of the injury so impressed young Parker that he resolved to devote his life to the study of medicine. FterMaPellticlan* aad Alligator*. "I kinder like dis sort ob elimack'" said old Si, as he came into the office lasteveatng. .. "In what way?" • J "Well, I like ter be 'ronnd whar jtm kin hang up yer obercoat soon as yer buys it, an' set 'round in yer shurt- sleebes jest ea well on New,Year's es ver kin on de Foth ob July." ; , ", "That is pleasant." • ¥ * "Yes, sah, and dat's what mofrt me to say what 1 do. Dar is plenty ob health down heah ef yo" jess knows how to fine it. De only place whar ye' can't fine ik is in de alligators's moufi" "Then your advice is that people shoulcPcome to Florida, but beware of the alligator?" S "Dat's it. I hain't got no use fer er ally gat or--hit's too much like er polly- tislmm--got mo' motif dan vittals an* mo' hide dan honesty!" And with this epigrim the old bowed himself out of the sano^un^ EPILEPSY (Fill* successfully treated. Pamphlet of particulars one stamp. Address WORLD'S 1)I«W«IW Man- ICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffado. N. Y. ASOEUKA (who has never eeen a revolving light before): "How patient and persevering those sailors must be, Edwin! The wind has Mown that light out six times since they first lit It, and they've lighted it again eaoh time." Punch. DISEASES OF WO.HEM. Large treatise for three stamps, giving meant of successful self-treatment. Addreee WOBLDI DIHFENSARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, N.Y. " I** a frayed to go out in the daytime." as tbelong-worn shirt said to the man. Ar»«* the diaoouraged man said tauutinglv, that he "would go show his slave# how c'oWartess he was, and bid his bondflten thimble. ttairkt tje. YOUNG and middle-aged men Buffering from MTVoua debility, premature old age, Tow,«f memory and lm«hid symptoms, should three stamps for Part VXL of pamphlets israed by World's Dispensary Medical Amwi^n Buffalo, N. Y. "DON'T drag your feet along the ground so!' •ays a fond mother to the child with whom she is walking; fit wean out your boota." ««Yet, ma," replies the little onef "but it^ wears out the grouud, too!" Somehow or other, mamma doesn't regard this as a sufficient compensation. Hanlanhi Home* 1 Hankn, the obampion oarsman of 4he woiid[ was bora in Toronto, Canada, and won his first amateur race on Toronto Bay. Afterwards he made his name famous by his great victory at the Centennial in 187& Siuoe then he has de­ feated every oarsman of prominence, not only in this oountty, bat from the antipodes of Australia to the shores of Grtjat Britain, and now he patiently waits for the next man who is to attempt to make him lower his standard of victory, which has been go long waving in triumph. Any one taking even a cursory glance at Hanlan, and who notes bis clear, bright eye, hi* pure skin and well-knit frame, would be convinced tbat«pnritv of blood and robust health were his birthright, hence, the basis of his strength and endurance. Purity of blood is Unquestionably the seat of life "and health, and to obtain it and keep it nothing in the world can compare to Burdock Blood Bitten. Mr. J. Mareh, Bank of Toronto, Ont, writes: "Biliousness sod dyspepsia seem to "have grown up with me ; having been a sufferer for years, I have tried many remedies, but with no lasting result* until X used your Burdock Blood Bittern. They have been truly a blessing to me, and 1 can not speak too highly of them." & Blacket Bobinson. proprietor of the Canada Presbyterian, Toronto, Ont., writes: for several years I have suffered greatly from eft-recurring bilious headaches. I used TOUT Burdock Biood Bitters with the happiest re­ sults, and I now feel myself better in health than for years past, I cheerfully recognize the sterling character of your preparation. Sold by all druggists. A CHICAGO newspaper reporter who wss walk­ ing along the road in the neighborhood of Con­ cord, over which the famous Jumbo had just passed, observed the footprints of the huge animal in the mud, and taking out his note­ book entered the felkmiug memorandum of a society item for the journal with which he was connected : "It is uudtrstood that Miss B., of , 8t Louis, who eloped a fortnight ago, is mak- i ing a pedestrian tour of New Hampshire."-- ' Brooklyn Eagle. A NeM Woaiaa. The item in regard to the failure of "Yours for health, Lydia E. I,inkham,"ol Lynn, Mass.. which has been floating through the papers; we are glad to learn is false m every lespect, as we found on inquiring at Hubbard's International Newspaper Agency of this city. The Lynn Bee said a lew dp.ys since: "Ttie Lydia Pinkham Compound Business is not fiiiaucivlly em­ barrassed, as reported, but IB being conducted on a much larger scale than ever, doing a laiye and growing business and paving one build red oems on a dollar." Mr. Hubbarfi has whole charge of the advertii-iug business of this and other similar large houses,and informs us that he has inserted her advertisements on yearly eon- tracts in over 8,060 newspapers last year, so that she ia to-day the best-known woman in Amema. In addition to this fact she u? a live, earnest woman of over Bat v, and doing a great deal of good in the world, «ts many Of the best families in this city can testify. Her aAvertise- "Them ar' ffies is old topers, every one of 'em," said a Dock street beer drawer, as he banded over a glass of the foatwog beverage to a thirsty reporter --every newspaper office has a thirsty reporter.* "Yfes, they are topers," he spoke up as he drew the reporter's attention to a swarm of flies that were regaling them­ selves u\a trough from the' drippings of a spigot. "Now what I tell yon is the truth; them ar' flies drink a pint of beer every day, and then they go and sober up. See that netting oyer those pictures? Well, the flies come down and fill up; % then they shut one eye like a drunken fellow going for a lamp-post, and start' for that netting. Sometimes they don't make it, and fall to the floor, where they lie until they sober up. You're laugli- ing," put in the J>»r chemisl. "I'm not," replied the reporter. "I am tiridag it all in." » "Well they stick their feet in the holes in' that ' mosquito netting 'and sort o' tangie their legs around it. You we they feel pretty limber, so 'taint no trouble, and they hang on there until the bulge passes out of their heads. That's so. Do you know, I've got an idea some of those pesky flies go out and bring in their friends? 'Them flies drink a pint of beer a day; that's over a gal­ lon a week. Now there's pretty near a millfon flies on that netting--how much does it take to make each one tight? Here's a slate," and the beer-slinger handed one over to the reporter to figure it out. Just then the olock struck four, and about ten thousand of the topers started for the beer trough with a whirl, to take a nip before supper. Some of them drank long and deep, and then lay upon their backs and kicked their legs vigor ouslv. ments, though worded plainly, aru not tquivocal in any sense, and her is due of uie few § of great merit belore the public.--New Haven Sutulay Ihyi&ter. " HALLO, what is this I hear ?, .You, who have always ueea preaebing abb<U Atoftjtereeted tote and decrying marriages for money, about to murry a wioow with a million." And do vou think, sir, that I atn selling myself for gold ? Sir, I love the woman, and would not hesitate to marry her if circumstances were changed, and Bhe hadn't more'a half a million to her name.** • ' . A lilfaiiicant jf'aci $1 THE cheapest mcriicine in use is THOMAS' ECLECTRIC OIL, because so very little of it is re­ quire! to effect a cure. For croup, diphtheria and diseases of the lungs t<nd throat, whether used lor bathing the chest or throat, lor taking internally oi inhaling it is a matchless com­ pound. Charlatans and Quack* Have long plied their vocation ou tbe suffering pedals of tbe people. The knife has pared to the quick; caustic applications have tormented the victim of corns until the conviction shaped itwlf--there's no cure. PUTNAM'S FAIXLESB CORN EXTRACTOR proves on what a slender b;t«i«i public opinion often rests. If you suffer from corns get tbe Extractor and you will be Saftefied. Sold everywhere. Wholesale, Lord, Steutenburyh A Co., Chicago. " Yoc write a beautiful hamfc I wish that I had such a hand." said Mr. Flasher to aTadv clerk at the hotel. " Am I to consider this as a proposal ?" asked the bright lady. •' Well--er --yes--if my wife is willing to let me off." re­ plied the accomplished Flasber.-- Detroit Post. 1 A> Skillful Preparation Compowrl df roots, baskojtpd planfc, that act m harmony and are a peasant and effective medicine, constitute BURIWCK BLOOD BITTERS, or which highly commendatory reports are be­ ing constantly received. Price TL00, trial size 10 ceuts. IT is. said that Sitting Bull draws a Govern­ ment ration of a pint of whisky a day. If the Government wishes to get iirt of this trouble­ some Indian all that is necessary is to double hisxatioD of whisky and pm-ehase'tbe " Jersey- lightning" brand.--Norrutotcn Herald. THOUSANDS of infants and children die at this season of the year from Cholera Infantum ©r summer complaint. This fearful diseiuw can be cured by Dr. Winchell's Teething Syrop,, which never fails to give immediate relief,' esea in the moat severe cases. Sold by all Druggists. IT is quite oommon for a boy to misbehave when people are looking at bim, for the mere fun of shocking them. But a man is not a boy. He knows teller and acts badlv only when peo­ ple are not. looking.--Boston Transcript. THOSE who prepare Hops and Malt Bitten make no secret of its ingredients, but publish them on every bottle. Medical authorities say that these retiu dies are all that is claimed for th$m for the cure of Dyspepsia, Debility, Indi­ gestion, Constipation, etc. "'WE have banished that tall, leng-nscked fellow lrom our set%" said a fifth avenue belle to a young Egyptian. "Yaas," drawled the descendant of a mummy, " I see he is ostrich- sized." Music by the band and the surf Qn the shore drowned the subsequent conversation. EILERT'B DAYLIGHT LIVER PILLS are a relia­ ble remedy for biliousness, headache, constipa­ tion and liver diseases, and are the best pre­ ventive of fevers known. Sold by Druggists. As Iowa woman wrote to Queen Victoria ask* ing her if she intended to wear hoops tbe com- iiiK summer, and she< has been to the post- office ever twenty times without receiving a rjpiy. \ CHARNTD HANDS, face, pimples and rough skin cured by using Juniper Tar Soap, made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. "How CAME such a greasy mess in the oven?" said/a taduety old spinster to'-er maid-of-all- worK Why,'"replied the girl, "tbe candles fell into the water and I put them into the oven to dry." PBKSKBVK your harness by using Unole Sam's Harness Oil, which closes the pores, keeps out dust or dampness, making it soft and pliabla Bold by Harness Makers. • A iKijvANT. apphins lor a «itnition, was left the last cause I were assefi the luiHoi'i dr itt-r having left the last ,'placK •".I'lfKhe, ma'am,'.it was jbfeause I were .*•0 gobjMobkiu , ;au' Visitors wis always mis­ taken me for the missus." Tocvmrmxa, at a Paris dinner, onoe Connect de coot, de little J£ "Connect de coot, de little yeliow spot on de map, dat makes de clock peddler, de school­ master and de Senator. De first give you de time, de second tell you what te do with him, and de third make you law and civilization. Ab, gentlemen! dat little State call (Jonnect de eoot is one very great miracle to ins." Kidaejr DISCBM. PaiD, Irritation, Keteution, Inoontfnenee, DefO'its, Gravel, etc., cured by "{Bucbnpaitia." tl. K*n<i for pamphlet to E. EL Watts, Jeney City, N. J. : , v FOBTCSE, it Is said, knocks onoe at every man's duor. This may be true ; but in the ma­ jority of cases she sneaks around and taps at the back door, then sooots Off serosa lots before the householder can cealisw that lie has just missed a charming chaaee of becoming a Moated bondholder. PUBE EOD-TIVKB OIL, from selected livers, on tbe seashore, by Caswell, Hazard & Co., N. Y. Absolutely pure and sweet. Patients who have onoe taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians declare it superior to all other oils. " GEM. HANCOCK is as regular aa a clock in his habits. Every aftemoou at the same hour betakes a nap of a cert tin length." This is the wav the paragraph started, but oo its travels a tiendish compositor put an "i" in tiie place of the "a" in "nap" and made it dread- full/ suggestive. Is VOCR hair falling out or your scalp dis­ eased V Carbuline, a deodorized extract of petro­ leum, as now improved and perfected, is just the article you teed. Buy a bottle, and, like thousands who are using it all over the land, you will value it ss the choicest of all toilet prep*-' rations. " I MET Mr. Miggles to-day," remarked Mrs. Chippick. "He's quite a changed man. I hardly knew bim, he's so chipper and lively." "Indeed," responded her husband gravely. " How very strange! I red in the paper that his wife sailed tor Europe lust week."--Brook' lyn Eagle. Tn old need them; the young want the sick crave them; tbe well take them ; dya peptics need them: epicures like them; men will have them; ladies must have them; children cry tot them. Hops and Malt Bitten. THE Howe Scale took first premium at Pbila- adelphia, Paris, Sydney, and other exhibition*. Bord^u, Selieck At CO.," Agents, Chicago. I1L Dio LEWIS says that men become bald by bearing the hat toocouHtantly. - How little Dio know* about it can be shown by the number of bald-headed editors, Judges, suoemakors, tail­ ors and book-keepers, who wear their hats least of anybody; ' : Wont* that ham-been pronounced incurable bvthtffcertPhvaichiu* bsveheen completely cured by Lydia E, Piukham's Vegetable Compound. SEjraMENTAi, diuer : "Eat a lark ! Partake of one of the choiring songsters at he* veu's g ate! I would as soon eat a hymn 1" Practical fnead. " Ya-as, uevw tuuch wusll buds--they all feed on worms.*' Hoasaa eatti*. sheep and bogs areenrsd of distemper, oougba, colds, (even aad most other diseas'# by Uude Seci'e Oowlition Powdsr. Sold by Drwrfista. ^ •• i Txix you, geuUeuMB, that dog o' mine is aaintelhgeat anitar." "Feasibly, muttered Fogg; "hut you wouldn't think it, judging from the company he keeps." WMuMMh KMssraadUwrCaia "JOHN," said A teacher, "I'm veiy sorry to have to punish you," "Then don't. I'll let you off this time," responded John. Ikttfae nS» brand,Bpriag Tobaooa GLADSTONE says the fear of becoming ridicu­ lous is U*J be*t guide in lifet Ladies who fol­ low lhe fashion are %»tboat a guide. A| HFOIXH WA*TE».Send»cin itampsforcafcj. tILli logue of prices. K.M.l'uurber, East Worcester,N .Y. rnH».-A linnrtMBt »rt of ('ARBS fWj> %_/olleetoiw. Sc tt&mp. A. E jBabcock, Rochester. N.Y. VnMMfl IflCU If son want to learn Teletiraphj ia a I vDnB nCR few moathfi, and be certain of & da natioD, address VALKNTINK BBOS., Janeeville. Wla. PMAIiirfk NEW AND SECOND HAND. pNCIIII>\ AdtlrtiSa 1IAI#KI» IKOM blVOIIVtwlMUKlfr. TitoBTllle, Pa. FSBIAPLEWOOD Younr Ladies' INSTITUTE. SBIIS lEAMSRSaatWt /ess ISiSS^Iil Spaultimg & Co..27 Boone 151o<'k,C -KaK*'- AND NOT IWWATCW.UJ WEAR OVT. • DT Watchmake?s. By aiatL 25 cts. Circuiaje t y'Ry.g j. R. RTiii H ^ Dej tit.. N.i WILL WIND HULLERSSH3 wito 'Sim AUI.TMAM & TAYJLOK OO.. Msnsfeeld. O, WAXTED-A w»lJ.<|afllifi®d lad* or eeaUw rasn, to reprerant oar Coaipany in thk town and aunudliif conntxy. Boalneujpennanent aad eztnor- Cuar oomMinatMi ID Hired. Incleee stamp for terna. SAOMETOK A*rixuiCE Oo, 818 State St., Chicago, OL ir«w m a SAFE AND tURf «E»€D» FM OUR WILD IN SSSSSr; A « NKTTi.rrWr 3T7S sJtsss: ENGUND CONSESVXrORY OFT Pi I ?/LREADV^AGE&LBW I«PLJ LSCNDFQR CIRCULAR.' EJOIIFTJCIH SPLENDIDLY-FURNISHCOL INTHE HEART OF B08T0II. THIS NEW ELASTIC TRUSS H* •P«4 from •!! olkm, l» fill "cm. niiNic^ ̂ Esglettoo Trass €o., fiUoa^. f. v Eaatetina TM la abaadanreS5 twpOrtfd last year. thaa ever.--Agents Tirta time. Bead tor drenjar. St variety^PSeaaw ewrbodr.-oj^* Tea HnMi R«B 81LE BT AU. BBVWLBM. rpeat varteiy>-PlBMrr oott tn America.--Wo rbrofiio.-- t beate«ss.--Value for money Bonn wsu& is vwi su,s.v„ rs>. bu ML THE NEW RE«EDT. HOPS 1 MALT W bM In Mini Amm MMM MinllHIMAllBk Dhbt ftvm I to tnmaST BITTERS. (Xot Fermented.) T::E GREAT iiirer£I£iney Remedy AND CLOCD PURIFIER. Tbie new Remedy ie compounded j from the beet known curatives, such as Hops, Malt Extract, CasCara Sagrada (Sacred Bark), Buchu. Dandelion and Sarsapariiia, combined with an agree ble Aromatic L-lixir. These Remedies act upon the (river. They act upon the Kidneys. They Regulate the Bowels. ui< They Promote Digestion They Nourir.h, Strengthen, Invigorata. Thev give Tone, Health and Energy. HOPS AND MALT BITTERS are the ORIGINAL, and ONLY BIT TERS containing Malt Extract. Ask your Dritcgist tor them, and be attra that the label has on it the four words Bert' la the We*UL ! d •arfed <iw:«e«ita«l Itv-. KOPsi AND MALT BETTERS in large red letters. pC*Take no ether. At Wholesale and Retail by cH dealers. tOCBESTER lUEDICnfE CO., tof.'ifjfer, V, r TBE PATKLTJIF MUNNHEATHt I ^lffERs Hoatettar's Stomach Bitters extirpates dyepeptfa with jreater oertalnty and promptitude than any known remedy, and is a most genial inrigorant, appetizer and aid to secretion. These are not empty assertions, aa tbonrsndd nf oar countrymen and women who have ex­ perienced ita effeota are avirt, bnt ate backed up by inefrag&bte proofs. The Bitten also five a healthful •tlmulu!; to the urinary organa. ~ For aale bj all Draniata and Dealers generally. VALUABLE TELEPHONE JTKS^ko. AOE5TS WANTED FOB TUB HISTORY the U S, BY ALEXANDER H. STEPHENS. It oontains nearly BOO tine portraits and enfrravingt «f battles and other historical nrul is .the raoat ©omnlete and valutii.it) history ever published. )1 is cold by tmfc>6cr!ption only, ;md Agents are wanted in every oountv. Send tfT circtilitrfc and extra terms to Agents. Address NATIONAL PCHLISHINO t?o.» O.nc.igo, 111. Employment for Ladies. Hie Queen City Suspender Company of Cin* cfnrati are nownianufacturiiip and inteoducinr their new Stvrklng ttiipperlereforledleeana . Children, and tlicu- unctjualcdSktrtSwyeedHi for Urfles and w,-\;;trrhat>ic lady afcntstottU thens in every lu usehold. Our agents every­ where meet with rcaciy success and make hand* some salaries. Wrue at once for terms and L cure etclu^ive territory. Adciress f i ^ 4|«eeM City Bit»-prn<le~ C».,(Inrleaall, Okk |y Leading Physicians recomniciul these Supporters. !* £e1\i t ^ ' heeler clean aM add m -mar Sit to Ita oapaeity "it wilt BIS ' 'V.water better andelnr.ee M er than *ny heat-/ fn the ®f©ace,aa» imeon wh» aa*(eae. IINSSLAND 4 liUNN, Sole XennfactartM' MUNN "HEATER 1 ANt DEALERS 15 Fcrtatle. Staticctrr . BOMS pim, BollentrtSniil^ woou Axi> iau« Vffkiu itelDHT. Hawm, Bettla*. ̂ tc. 44S. (MST.UKM WIT? DOCS IWONDERFUL CURK8I _HweltaetBea UM UTtt, lofm| aa3 KflmiSattkejMattwe. ..'.ynovuuM^i Ujlea li «i»esatoTln< fort ' • aad that I |beyendkeUsf. bat kldney- .Aus L JaireM ef r-Wort. lolak Laeieuue ef. L Ueer aad j kll«M Umi Cote of Me t yearn . te woefc. «Cnrede%h vaa anaMe t ' weBaseret K I D N E Y - W O R T GOOD NEWS Get up Ctub@ ^ BRATEO TEAS. &od etc use ® I C&XM- KEN te cr S«M Bui TM (44 piece#,, oyr owa teipartstlou. Oa® ibm hsaatlftu Tee Sets |im away to iu« iMi ty Mudinff s Cliik lor $SS.SS. B«wars of the eo >n»| CHEAP TEAS " tbat are tela* advsrtiestf--tbey are dM proas aad detriment*! to healtk-elow poisoa. DMI only with rotable •Hk« and with Srrt hands If poaslhls. Mo htmihac. «4«yimaitfa During the month of Aosuat sul*erip4iohs-wUI be received tor A* IlilDIBIO CHICAGO WKK1UUT NEWS, eiteiidlag from the date of reces* • I II nl fm to January 1st next for TWENTY-FIVE CENTS. The CHICAGO v AUGUST ONLY! VEEKhV NEWS Is a large 32-eoluinn paper, >4d!tedl witA fecial nferuuee to the needs of the fmuiiy t'iruie. It is esitecially cwnple^rff as a news paper, every Issue presenting complete telegraphic report* of ail important happeninps- the wurld over. Its Chicago Mai4U*C'> Quotations are full uml tra^twarthjf. lit is liule^iutlral 1« Vntt. • tics, giving all political'Intelligent'ftec ftcm partlsa;i coJarinjaiiq •' discussing politicul qv.cstioiis without k upot fcyoraato partieJ. » densed notes on Art, I4t«ratnre.Sfi«jBce» Industries, Fashlv«sM , etc., and SIX COMJPtEfliD STORIES in every issue. Itistl-A j* ; cheapest metmrnlitan w< ek';v published In the United States, cost**: Itw only gETEKTr.FlV£ CENTS A TEAR. To afiord all desiring it h-i nnpnrtunitv of heertring aequaintcdP^' with the character of the CHICAGO WfEKLY NEWS t*SHt suW: ** Bcribitig for a year we make this special cfi'er for the Ktmhl ORi.. Al'GUST OSXY of rending this parser fr< rn dam to January 1 " ' ' TWENTY-FIVE CENTS. next for the nominal price of A 85c. coin may be safely in aetn»i:j|cnvel< suhseri^tH'iis fop'a (»ne Iv,"ar BiH. Addrtss TIi SOX, A'wb'.iiitiar, 12$ EUtfkJkxmw&r m*K - Aelub «f f -ess TICTOR F. "'ir: •^Siiw4wipw3 4. $10 INCREASE $20 YOUB CAPITAL. laventors ot small and mMOnM amounts in Grain, ProwiaioM aiM Stocks as fully protected as mom 'extensive and influential operator* Our successful, fully tried, old ea- tablisbed fiau. Try If. BeporU S25 Every Day Cam te mUr sand* with MB . • Well Augers & Drills Wlir IT gent wwkiy.dividentis ;-aid qua* j Send at onee .' ir e.tplauax^ry cire».'lttr8 end rest r«e-Tr>i. t- k^m. Ihviiiends paid during paEtthirt«?a $50 iponti •bare. MKH STOCKS V'K111' ths ou thie fund StKS.71 pet Addrets MJ5MM1NG A ItRIAAl, 141 A 143 EaSalle $100 WKiit a !c< -til agent la everv u>wn. £xceUeot iaduca> ments. Good pay to a reapooal- ble. eaterpriaicu: man, wxite fie terms. g*V WAStB *0*1* ? TamsiteM. IA If M wane a Ltiiytmaii sso^ataebe, ttaviit* «Uak«f» 99 a prewU: ot hur eo b«U 1 9 WUa. of » THICBiM, ST&BNiilfH£N «a< jsTiGcaiTs *. aim fr, ttemtl IpHie iManqiM hM Utlt IR HUHIL MMLI Ut wtl a be. J. GOMIA-UB,IMS.BaMa.aass. (ma«illWMa» ln« Kaohin*. WsnasM A*a(M«a(artkl . Van r of oar eaetomrsi make from eS* to|M • Book «B<t Cixeulan rajBS. Ad<tr«ea, __ ~ IQOWS a KtSli, TtFFHl. OH. MAKE HENS LAY. Aa *MLMB Teteriaaiy |D|MB arf CWABTIW trajeliM tanthk eoeutn. safe that «oei i I , , • ' • • • a w.o. »> ' tm tftfc i "•«<' -i Zni -xS - J