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A wssraur KACT» mrxxsR. SatNtni wftfcalMufe, pmmavaoad tt fade*" . vti we £pu*ht her wink «tth« ratty Judge. f •'4 v*'yi««l 0» Judge--but we mention this sub pwe-- jtiiikhed uy to the roots of his bulbous nofie. ^ iSftlll he Mimed hi* nook, and. In pwlnf 4#» ?-:> a atntster wink with his dexter ey% j'1 ' «notl< Maud to bernelf,a« on *he pss»e<i> , , *l've his royal nibs In tow at lMt: ^ 2---i&iS2.'*X modirr nhall wear a sealskin MM***"-v (/ l>a nwing out in his broa<loloth blaoK^f A- *Mv brother shall sip his whisky-skins^ { Aiul my Ristor revel in tray breastpins! .«. Ifcnoth the Judge, a» he sannterad llstleM «*, a mtttiBf girt; you bet I'm gone! , ^ . ' "'No doubt mv last- wife's ma will kick, &hd my heirs cut up the very Nick; •nut. thonch I've known her a short, short spfcl. You bet I'll have her to spite oi T--welt, > 4 ' ' , • )io matter hi* word--twas Short ud eaiM. f And the name of a place that's now played out <k /The maid and Judge neVir weddedsrifflfe' , I • » yor he passe<l in his checks, from too much (ph. ^.nd the maid grew long, and lank, and thin, jknd eke, as her chances glimmered away, v^he ceased U) Hirt and began to pray. • •iJod pity the maid, and pity tho Judge, • And these days of twaddle, amTbosli, and fttdgfe; "If I had no ambition, Mark, I sup­ pose Icould be content to let all other chances slip for the sake of steadywwrk and fto a week; but I was born for something better 'than that. There's no need to worrf about me; m be on the top round of the ladder yet, and be able to see YOU only -with a telescope." And Prank felt that, had he followed his friend's adviod years before, he would not have allowed that bird in the bush to ruin him.--Chicago Standard. IbMt It seems that King Kalakaua has W- _ csntlv ordered of a Boston house a new But "a vear passed by, , and Frank had i throne for his sitting room. Thrones not mounted the first roand of tho Ud- ! come high, tat il« MM is to the king fail *tothe' giijund and'some^dief *bot hTHm^ mlTw^ln, know -V'* «--» * «- ">« The Rural Pew Yorker say.: ,We are sorry to taj «hat pyrethrum powder cannot be trailed to rid vines of-the grub (larva? of the potato beetle. For ten days we have every other day dusted our plants with this powder. The grubs der. He was dreaming away still of the great things he meant to do in the world, and the vast fortune he expected to accumulate; while Mark had been made book-keeper at' the mill, at a sal­ ary of $600 a year. "He'll never get any higher," said Frank, when, hi« father cited Mark's success to him. "He'll be A bookkeeper on $600 a vear for the rest of his life. I much al>out royalty that thfa pride, pomp and circumstance must have its drawbacks. Suppose you are a King, for instance, and after you have turned the cat out of the back door of the pal- stepped into the drug-store on his way home one night to inquire for his friend. "Frank is determined to make a fort­ une." Later, Mark -heard that Frank had gone into the business of a broker. But What he did not hear was that Mr. Lar­ delle had expended $2,000, the savings of many years, to, establish his son: , Years passed, and Frank did not re­ turn to his old home. His friends in the little town heard vague rumors of the daring speculations in which he em- barked, ahd believed him to be too busy . Mark Avery and Frank Laydellewerp j making his fortune to spare time for a 4 porn within a week of ea# other in a j visit, But the truth was that Frank had ace, and removed your ermine robe and laid it on a chair, and unbuttoned your royal suspenders, and hung your crown on the bedpost, and blown out the gas, you happen to think that you haven't ' j wound the royal clock. You feel your w v small for j into the sitting room and put your said old Mr. Lardelle, when Mark • eye out with a scepter somewhere trv- ing to find the mantel, and then fall wasn't born for sjieh drudgery." 3^ few months later Mark heard yrank had gone to the city. ."He found this place too that • ' *< The saddest are those sH'A, »--Denver Tribune. 5 V . v _____ "You bet I'm leifrl" ! • Jt BIRD IN THE HAN0. • Amall New England village, and wfcre ; l ^o|»stantly together until tliey left school. Mr Avery kept a shoe store, and Mr. » , Xardelle was a druggist. Both we*e in- V<lustrions, sober men of plain manners *nd simple habits. They were devoted "to their wives and their homes, and /r.-^ers exceedingly proud of their sons. ' "Mark and Frank, though the best of friends, were very different in character. "While Mark was slow, quiet and re- S ^Served, Frank from earlier childhood liad been given to romance and adven­ ture and was always longing for excite* tnent. He early voted the life of a drug­ gist " dull" and "slow," and, as he was •n only «on. he had little difficulty in >ersuadmg his father to relinquish his dek of putting him behind the counter .to lell drugs and put up prescriptions. Sit. Lardelle, who was proud of the ^business he had built up, and of his ^rell-stoeked store,* did not give up the idea of making his son his successor "without many regrets and deep ilisap- tointment; for he had dvvelt so much pon the pleasure and oomfort it would t>e to him to have his son associated with him that he could not think with­ out bitterness of the time ^hen a stran-: Rer would till his place. But he said little of this to hia aon after he saw how ^ |^>posed Fmnk was to <at*dying • phar- < "I won't push Frank into^ything lte . -don't like, Clara," he said tolas wife aa S;' |they talked the matter over together. *' A man must take an interest in hja .. business or he will never succeed in it. iFnutk says the life of a druggist would ibe distasteful to him, and' if that ip true, he should never be forced into it. We jjnonst let him find something to his mind if we want |tp have reason to be proud of him." . . Both Frank-and Mavk left sehooi* at U'v * eighteen. Mr. Avery, having a large • family to support, was not able to give Jiis eldest son a college course; and "jFrank declined one, though urged "by f liis father to continue liir} studies for a a! yeriis loiigei f " I know as much as Mark does," said Frai\k, " and it is time I Was Working %,r any own way. If I keep pegging on at • studies, Mark will get the" start of •„ me, and 111 never catcli up." -J And Mr. Lardelle, Only half convinced of the wisdom of his son's argument, ^yieidecj.. " What are you going to do with yotir- sself now, Mprk?", asked Frapk, as he jmet his friend on the street the morn- ing after their graduation from the High 4SchdoL ' r "I «m going to wor|;* «nswered f "No- to-day?". , ; , - : "*Ye*. to-<lay. What would be gained "by waiting V , ^ 4iTou ought 5K> have a; little fun before settling down to drudgery. All work and no play is bad for any one, and I'm \ / <8ure we worked hard enough over that last examination." "Yes," said Mark, /but in taking a play-day I might lose my chance of work, and be forced to keep on playing head over appetite oyer a marble-top throne. It would make a man mad even if he had the blood of the royal family flow­ ing through his veins and leaking out of hi s nose. Kings are only mortal, and J it occurs to us that when a kingly j snoozer who has descended from the ; royal galoots away back busts his nose ! on ft hump-back throne, and jams a { basswood scepter into his eye, he is go- | ing to use some harsh terms. | -• In this country all men are sovereigns. ! Some of the royal family of America ! sit on a pale-blue plush tete-a-tete, and failed as yet to realize the golden dreams of his youth, and found that his expenses far exceeded his income. Even his | mother did not know how frequent were i ..the calls he made on his father for money, ; ! or how wild were the speculations in i which he indulged in his mad pursuit | after wealth. • » | Mr. Lardelle found it extremely diffi- j cult to meet his son's demands for | money. He was forced to sacrifice his I property bit by bit, until at last he j mortgaged the house in which he lived. | Yet he, still l>elieved in his son, and put j faith in his assurances that each specula- i tion into which he entered was certain j of success. But he grew bent and grey, j I His face looked sad" and worn, and j j }>eople began to say that old Mr. j Lardelle was failing fast. j j After an absence of ten years Frank | • came home for a two days' visit, and of j | course dropped in at the mill to see his i j old friend. He was dressed with great j | elegance: sported eye-glasses and a cane, ! i agd wore a tall silk hat, patent leather [ j boots and diamond shirt studs. On tho i I little finger of his left hand was a large j | seal ring, and he frequently drew from I his pocket a handsome gold watch, j attached to a heavy chain. "Still pegging away in the old mill, Avery," he said, as Mark came into the office in response to a call through the speaking tube. \ , "Yes, I've grown nsed to< it," said Mark. "I believe I understand the bnsiness as well as Mr. Harlan, now." "You're not book-keeping now, I see," said Frank, glancing toward the desk, where an elderly man was at ,work over a bi£ ledger. "^io! I gave that up a-year ago," said. Mark, "when Mr. Harlan offered to make me superintendent." "BigW age8,1 suppose," said Frank, with a twinkle of his grey eyes. "I get $1,500 a year," said Mark, "and if the business continues to prosper I shall receive #2,000 at the end of three VChlS. xou adn, thr wWa - lo gTOWl&g, and I'm sure to make my way." "Too slowly to suit me," said Frank. "I couldn't content myself with such a others sit OB the floor and permit their feet to dangle, but we are all Princes or Kings in our own right. We can call the President of the United States harsh if we feel like it and we are far enough away, and we belong to^the other party. Americans , are free to . tread their native heath and criticize j anybody they want to, but very few, of ! them wear thrones. A large 1,500- | pound throne would be a cumbersome I thing to ship over the U. P. road when- ! ever a free-born American sovereign | moved from Omaha to Green river. ! That's why so few of us use them. No j American is going to make himself bald-headed wearing a sheet-iron crown with $2.50 worth of diadems on it, un­ less there is money in it. He prefers to just wag along without attracting at­ tention so far as possible and accumu­ late as much coin as he can. Still, the day may come when . no family will be perfectly comfortable without an $86 throne in his house. But it will have its drawbacks and we hope the custom will never attain much stand­ ing in the country. A veneered throne in the sitting room with cracker crumbs and bread and butter in the seat would l>e of very little comfort to a man with democratic tastes. It would savor too much of an effete monarchy and chill the warm glow of patriotic pride, which every true American feels in the individ­ ual and universal freedom peculiar to our national institutions. ' • Beside, it would be, as we say, a very awkward thing to move al>out and a poor thing to mortgage. It would hurt the family pride to mortgage the dear old throne or to sell it to a second-hand furniture man. That is why we say that free-born American sovereigns had better plug: along with the old style of chair and thus give royalty in this country a black eye.--Laram ie Boomerang. The Old Fiddler. The old fiddler! What has become of J Z) JJl snail's pace." ^ Then you have b$en .very success­ ful?" queried Mark. • A "Not as much so as I would like." said Frank. "But I see my way now to doing something big. which will insure me a handsome income for the rest of my life. Then I shall give up work and enjoy mv money," and with a gay laugh, and a promise to "look in again before leaving town," the young specu­ lator left the mill. uau t Jitte cttfl&T uiu-isou&ouou auaici vi our boyhood, who occupied the one chair in oar kitchen, and beat such hearty time to his music on the bare oak floor ? Ah ! what a whole-soled thing that foot was! No dainty and inaudible pulia­ tion. but a genuine flat footed " stomp," whose boisterous pulsations, beard high above the rhythmic patter of the dancers' feet, jarred and jingled the little -eight- by-ten window panes at his back and thrilled the very china on the "oubbard" shelves. There were no attractions about the old fiddler. His instrument was just a fiddle ; he a fiddler, and for this homely reason alone, perhaps, it was the youth- Poor Frank r said Mark, as he ! listener felt the vibrant current of watched his friend out o£ sight. "Pin afraid he is still after that bird in the bush." Five years more slipped by, and then Frank, with his fortune still unmade, was called to his home to attend the funeral of his father. Mr. Lardelle's affairs were found to be in a lamentable condition. The drafts made upon him by his idolized much longer than would bo profitable , son, whom he had foolishly indulged to • •or agreeable.1 , "But you are going into jfour father's fitore, are you not?* "'f "No," said Mark. "He does not need me there. He can manage that well enough alone, he says, and I would lie his own ruin, had stripped him of every­ thing. After the funeral expenses were paid nothing remained but a meager btock of drugs, which, when sold, would not realize $100. Frank was aghast at this state of af- wasting my time. I'm going to work in ! fairs, and knew not where to turn. Not ; the mill. Mr. Harlan has offered me a -, place in the machine-room at three dol- 1 ^ W66k " "What's three-dollars!" cried Frank, .contemptuously. "It is just three dollars better than "nothing," said Mark." "And .you can have a place in the mill, too, if you want it. Mr. Harlan said he needed another boy. Come with me and see about, it." "Not I," said Frank, with a laugh. "You don't get me into any woolen- ~ mill. Three dollars a week ! I hope I'm worth more than that!" 1 "You wouldn't be worth more to Mr. Harlan at present, because you .are not familiar with the business," said Mark, , "One has to woi£. I don't propose to work for $3 a week all my life.f > T "I shall look for something better," ;• said Frank. - ^ "So shall I," said Mark, "but I might *s well be working while I look." ' "You never did hav» half m4/ ambi­ tion, Mark," said Frank. "Yon were al­ ways one of the slow kind. I'll leave you far behind me when once I get started. And I mean to start in the right way; not fritter away mv time in woolett-mills or shops at smi'l waaes. only was he without means to support himself, but he had his mother to care for. To return to the city was out of the question. He had no money with ; which to give the fickle wheel of fortune! | another turn. , j In his distress lie sought Mark and i asked his advice. ' I "If you could only take the store," said Mark. "The town is growing so fast that you could easily build up a good 'business... Your father's health was such for the past few years that he neglected the store, and it has run down. How unfortunate that you know nothing of drugs." > •. " I t is too late now to think of that>" said Frank, sadly. "I see now what a mistake I made in not going into the store seventeen years ago. But regrets .won't help me. I've waited my life so ; far, jWliaps; but I don'tWaut "to waste , the rest of it. I must go to work at , once at something which will bring me : in enough to support my mother a»»d i luvs^if in comfort at least." ! . ".Suppose you come here," sa:d Mark. " "I can make a places for you as sujwr- . intendent of the sorting room at a salary of ten dollars a week. Small, I I'm junior rutiier in the mill now, and will do all can for you." at A bold stroke will win m? a good place know, but von can work up. soon, I know. l "Perhaps so," said Murk, "but'I be­ lieve in the old sayjng that ' a bird ia the hand is worth two in the bus';i.' I mean to hold on to my $:* a week, wliite I'm planning for something better." The friends separated, and Mark "I'm deeply obliged," said Frank. "I know I don't deserve this kindness, Mirk. But I will show you that I cab work. And so you are a partner here?' '"Yes; I saved mv monev from tlie the tone in every vein, with such ecstat­ ic aports of inward mirthfulness at times ne felt his very breath sucked up in swirls of the intoxication, as one may feel it lost and caught up, swooping down the breezy atmosphere in a long, pendulating gravevine awing. And what quaint old tunes he played! " Goilderoy" was the name of one of them ; the " Gray Eagle " was another, and the " Forked Deer," and " Old Fat Gal"--all favorites. Telling the names over again, m fancy they all come whisk­ ing hack--the bottom of the present is knocked out and, peering tnrough a long maelstromic vista, We me tbe fiddler through the dart, Twanging tbe ghost of '• Money M,UBK We see the dancers skurrying to their places--we feel once more inched in our " best" clothes--and all mechanic­ ally our hand goes up again to stroke the bear-greased roach upon our fore­ head ere we salute our blushing " pard- ner," who, for all her shining face and chaste and rustling toilet, lias still an odor of dishwater clinging to the mellow hands we love to clasp no less. We pause impatiently as the fiddler slowly " rosums up" again; we hear the long premonitory rasping of the bow; we see the old man cross his legs with the old-time abandon, and with the be­ wildering flourish of wrist and elbow the frolicsome old tune comes cantering over the strings like a gamesome colt down a corduroy road, and then "sta­ tute your pardners ! corners! all hands round!" and iway we go; too happy, happy, happy, to recall the half of the long-vanished delight from this old, hopeless and bald-headed standpoint of to day, and the in&gician--the maestro --the old fiddler whose deft touches either lulled or fired our bloo-l in those old <lays--ah ! where is he? We wander wearily in quest of him. We do not find him at the bauqnet, the crowded concert hall, the theater. They do not want him in the opera. The orchestra ; would blush to have him there. In all , the wide, wide world he had nowhere to • lay his head, and so the old mu*ioiaa j journeyed ou, simply because HIH instrument, wu mid* Afar from cjniwic Italy. * • • • • And yet we aad'jr, aad'y fe»r Such tune* we never more majr^eir; next day. The beetles which, as we have said, are killed by the powder if sprinkled upon them in any confined vessel^ are not apparently harmed bv it in the open air. We have shown tnat the pyrethrUm plant is hardy and will thrive anywhere, so that, if raised ex­ tensively the powder could be manu­ factured and sold at a very low price. Fall Seeding with Grw, A New England/ farmer writes: "Many old fields are M late years being rescued by turning over after haying,, harrowing down and having some fer­ tilizer, either barn-yard, compost or chemical, applied'to their surface and worked in, and a liberal seeding of grass seed." Another New England farmer writes:,, "Many fields are re-seeded by merely harrowing the stubble immedi­ ately after the hay has been taken off, doing the work very thoroughly with a sharp-toothed harrow and tnen sowing the seed for grass, harrowing lightly qver the seed to cover it and following with a roller to make, all smodth. A top dressing of manure will be a won­ derful help." " MaUn* Heavy Soils Xlffltt. lEbe Country Gentleman says t|ie first thing to do in all cases, in render­ ing heavy soil light, is to tile-drain it thoroughly, and if the drains are laid only a rod apart the land will dry- sooner and become more friable than if two rods apart. The next thing, the best by far, is to apply coarse sand copiously, if it can be procured, and harrowing^ The sand remains, and does not leitch, wash away or evaporate. We have garden soil, originally clayey and heavy, made comparatively light by adding two inches of sand, and it is as good now as twenty years ago, or after the application of the sand. Coal ashes on many heavy soils has little effect one way or the other; it may improve some soils. For spreading evenly, it should of course be dry enough to work into powder. The quantity of wood' ashes which it would be proper to apply would not perceptibly affect the texture of the soil. 1 " , Utrge vs. Small Crop*.. ftfe American Cultivator truly says that above all things else it is neces­ sary that there be a general understand­ ing that large crops are always propor­ tionately more profitable than small crops; that within Certain limits a given amount of products can be grown more cheaply on five acres than on ten. When this fact is properly appreciated, the popular craze to secure more land will be abated, and better culture of fewer acres will take the place of the present system of half tillage over large areas. In a general way farmers do under­ stand this position; they recognize the fact that small crops are generally un­ profitable crops, and that it costs money to plow, plant and till an acre in any crop, and even if the farmer and his sons do the work it should none the less be paid for just the same as if it were performed by hired labor. The farmer should be able <to earn and se- Cuf6bette ii'sg5£ tkss the avfr£g" kirsd help, as he has presumably more knowl­ edge and skill than most of those he employs. If he cannot earn good wages for his own work, something is decided­ ly wrong in his make-up or his sur­ roundings. The VH of the Hollar. The New England Farmer "has a timely article on this subject. Indeed it is almost always timely to talk about the good effect of rolling land. The roller will not make moisture but it will tend to retain some of it that is al­ ready in the soil, and its use may make the difference between a crop and no crop on land that is to be seeded dbwn during a dry period; In a soil made compact by" the roller, a light shower sufficient moisture to the the mixture boil one hour. Twice the quantity will make three quarts of aauoe. Slice the tomatoes, chop the peppers and onions together. CocoANtJT Pis.--Take the same weight of sugar and grated ooooanut and mix thoroughly together; beat four eggs the whites and yelks, separately, to a stiff foam; mix one cup of cream and the milk of cocoanut with the sugar and cocoanut, then add the eggs and a few drops of orange or lemon extract. Line deep pie tins with a nice crust, fill them with the custard and bake half an hour. GREEN TOMATO PICKLE.--Cut'in thin slices one peck of green tomatoes, sprinkle with salt and let them stand two days. Slice twelve small onions. Mix together a quarter of a pound of mustard, one-half ounce of -> mustard seed, one ounce of cloves, two ounces of turmerio. Put in the kettle a layer of onions and spice them, then a layer of tomatoes, until all are in. ' Cover with vinegar and let it simmer /till the toma­ toes are quite clear. PICKLED MARTYNIAS.--Put the mar- tynias in salt water strong enough to bear an egg for ten days; then in weak vinegar for ten days. In a three-gallon jar put a large handful of horseradish, one cupful of ginger, one cupful of all­ spice, a half cupful of black pepper, a half cupful of mustard, one pint of small ouions, a few pepper pods, and three pounds of brown sugar; the onions chopped fine and the spice well beaten. Scald the ingredients in three pints of vinegar, pour it on the pickles, and then fill the jar with vinegar. They will be ready for use in four weeks* ,, TRI-COLORED CAKE---This cake is mixed in three different dishes and then put in a large pan all together, so that when baked the cake will appear striped. Dark part--two cups of sugar, dark brown, yelks of seven eggs, two cups of butter, one table-spoonful each of cinna­ mon, cloves, allspice and nutmeg, one cup of sour milk, five cups of flour, one teaspoonful of baking powder. White part--one cup of white sugar, three- fourths of a cup of butter, one-half cup of sweet milk, three cups of flour, whites of four eggs. Red part--one cup of red sugar, one teaspoonful of baking pow­ der, one-half cup of butter, two cups of flour, one-half cup of sweet milk, whites of three eggs. / ' may afford surface to germinate the seeds and give . - ... .r « T* T them a healthy start, while in an over^!nd ^encloser together? We mellow soil thev would lie dormant jST Pufc » ^rdTle ~and .£e. eftrth * foxt? merely sprout and then dry up and die. The iron roller is far better than a, wooden one in every respect. It turns easily, being made in short sections; it is heavy according to its size, and bears harder on the soil it covers. The weight of a large wooden toller is distributed over too iftuch surface at once. The roller is often useful in the spring for compacting the surface of newly-seeded mowing or grass fields, sown the previ­ ous autumn, and which the frosts of winter have loosened up or torn to pieees. ^f clover seed be sown on such iand the roller becomes almost indis­ pensable, and some farmers practice covering their grass seed with a roller in place of a harrow or brush, which is an excellent method where tlie soil is sufficiently moist. Another good use of the iron roller is upon mowing lands recently top dressed with stable ma­ nure. The weight is needed to press the manure down close to the surface, where it will keep moist, and all tha sooner help start the new growth, at the same time leaving the surface smooth for the scythe or mowing- machine. It is also used by gardeners to break up lumpy soil and with alter­ nate harrowing to render it fit for re­ ceiving the seeds of tender garden veg­ etables. . 1 .in --»• 0.3- J HOUSEKEEPERS'HELPS. 1 ! Progress and Happiness. Indeed, the opportunities and advan­ tages of the age are so immense, the in­ ventions so prodigious, the convenience universal and supreme, that the •observer constantly looks to see if there ifs a corresponding advance in human Welfare. The Arabian stories are out­ done. Ali Baba and Aladdin are famil­ iar heroes. We own all the amulets. We have mastered all the magic. But there are those who reflected, as they read those wonderful tales, that while it was pleasant for Fortunatus to have his purse, and rapturous for the Prince to awake the sleeping beauty, there was apparently the sagie old sorrow and suffering on every side. All tbe magic ended in individual gain, and, although fairy power haunted Bagdad, Bagdad was not fairy-land. We know a charming and venerable lady who used to go to Albany in a sloop, and she has sometimes been a week upon the way. We leave New York at half past 10, and dine in the capital at 2. Another old friend made her bridal tour to Niagara sixty years ago. But her granddaughters can make theirs to the Staubbach and Terni in a shorter time. We know of the riot in Alexandria^ before it^is suppressed. Longfellow, .Darwin, JSmersoh, gari­ baldi, die, and Oregon and Naples knd# it simultaneously. Fifty years ago, if early-winter nightfall overtook Congress in session, a man toiled long and labori­ ously to make darkness visible with oil and candles ; now one touoh floods the great hall with day. It is a symbol of the sudden flooding of the whole world with the news of the moment. From his office, his shop, his home, a man with his telephone talks with his friend, his lawyer, his grocer, his doctor, miles away. No fancied convenience in his daily employment oceurs to him that is not already fact and waiting for him to buy. His newspaper, a library for 5 cents, is but a type of all. It is the age of miracle. Is it also tlie age of greater happi-, ness? Is the blessing universal ? Does the magnificent and marvelous genius of razor; the lock of his ci shattered; his arquebus* wis his quiver shook 0ke a canal horse with the heaves; his tabard was in shred ; his ears were off; ioneeje wras- goae; his nose was out of plumbjand his jaw-bone was paralyzed. He had been trying to umpire a base-ball game. 1 '<r The Qafck PantalooM. There is no cme thing that shows aid ran thing that shows Hw falling off in Americ&n brain so much aa the habit certain young star-spangled Americans lmve of blindly following fashions in dress. And among all the fashions that are ludicrous there is none that makes a man with brain so tired as the tight pants that are being worn by some of the society ducks. A man who has a leg that is big enongh to be seen with the naked eye can indulge in reas­ onably-tight pants and not make a show of himself; bat for a young masher whose leg is about the sise of a cistern pole and the shape of a lath to incr.se it in a covering of gaudily-colored guncase material is too-too. A young man called on a sarcastic girl a few evenings since, his legs done up in the tighteat of pants* legs, and she looked very sad and her eyes had a far away look. He asked her what it was that caused her to be trou­ bled. She looked at his large, generous, fiddle-box feet and said sbe had been Wondering how he got his feet through the legs, whether he unscrewed them and took them off, or whether there was a hinge in the ankle so he could straight­ en them out. At a picnic a young man with tight green pants was lying under a tree, when a farmer who had brought some milk tc the picnickers took a stick and struck one of the legs real hard. The young man felt hurt and jumped to his feet, demanding an explanation. The farmer sliid he saw it lying there and thought it was a striped snake. There are many things the small iegs and tight pants could bo used for, if the slimness is going to remain in fashion for any length of time. If n tip could be ar­ ranged to fasten on the foot, and a reel ootiid be strapped on the thigh, and lit­ tle loops could be made along the legs to run a line through, the fashionable young gent could use his leg for fistiing tackle. To see a couple of the slim legs in the office of a hotel, among other fair- sized legs, one thinks of a couple of stalks of asparagus, and wonders how a vine would look climbing up tfie legs. What a place such legs would be -lor string beans to cling to. But there iS one thing such pants are good for. No ant can crawl up such a pair of trousers, to make life a burden to the wearer. There is always much sympathy ex­ pressed to the owner of oondensed legs, incased in gun covers. There is a feel­ ing that the owner of them is in danger of having them broken off by a dog run­ ning against them, or falling over a wheelbarrow, or something, and the wearers are treated with much tender­ ness. A young fedow called on a matron recently, and took a seat on a wooden oatnp chair that happened to be in the reception room. Tne good lady looked at the suffering caller and said : " Now take a seat in this muffed cluur. I know that hard chair will scrape the* veneering off of your pipe stems." Such remarks are uncharitaole, and ladies should re­ member that young men have feelings. --Peck's Sun. minutes. Is the swift journey one .of general blessing? Walking along the street of palaces that leads to the beau­ tiful metropolitan pleasure- gpround, marking the elaborate workmanship, the costly splendor of detail, catching glimpses of rooms rich with the spoils of every zone, bright with exquisite decoration, seeing the silken and lacsed and jeweled figures that step from state­ ly carriages, and seem to float on air like spangles on a sunbeam, do we feel that it is the purse of Fortuuatus, good for himself and his family alone, or that all this splendor is but the flower of a fenerai prosperity, a universal content ? t is a momentous question, which senti­ ment, not political economy, must an­ swer. Sentiment rules the world. It is the sense of injustice, not a demonstra-w tion of supply. and demand, that up­ heaves society. The golden age was not that in which inventive genius wrought miracles, and when the Alps, a region of dazzling icy heights and cold *dark valleys, was the symbol of human society. It was prosperous, but it was prosperity of mutual good-will, of friend­ ly interest, of general co-operation. It was a dream of pagans. But it was a Christian world in which they bore one another's burdens. Telegraphs and electric lights and cheap periodicals alone will not restore it. But the same •spirit, and only the same spirit, will win jAstnea back again.--Editor"» Easy Cfaair, in Harper's Magazine. 8 nue were «o »&d, acut nonsrt »a gay--- turned down the street which led to the j \irst, and a vear ago I found that, prin- ' v i l» Dan Harrison c*ed t<rpky. mill, where he was put to work inrme-! cipal and interest, I had enousrh to burl ^ndianapolin Jwinial. diately in the engine room. ; a share in the mill. Mr. Harlan was ' He paid strict attention to his duties, performed them faithfully, and was HO ' anxious to please and so obedient to all ! rules that he soon attracted the at ten- tion of Mr. Harlan, who was pleased to regard his industry by raising his wages to $5. •' „ ^ Frank, meanwhile, was idle, ami was glad to let me have it, for he is getting \ old, and has talked a good deal lately of retiring entirely." "You've been tremendously kicky," said Frank. "I don't call it luck. I've simply stuck to one*thing," said Mark, "and, in nine cases out of ten, when a man does no nearer finding a place toHuithim that, the thing pays in the long run than on the day he left school. Again did Mark urge him to accept a tempo­ rary place » the mill, bet to no pur­ pose. provided it is a legitimate business. I .kept my hand on the bird I caught the day I left Bchool, and never chased af­ ter the one in the bush." JOHN QUINCY ADAMS in his long ser­ vice in Congress was never known to be late. One day, says tradition, the clock struck, and a member said to the Hj>eak- er: "It is time to call the House to or­ der." f "No," said the Speaker, "Mr. Adams is not in his seat yet." At this moment Mr. Adams appeared. He was punctual but the clock was three min­ utes fast. . GIVK not reins to your inflamed pas­ sions ; take time and a little delay; im-) petuonity manages all things badly. . BOLL JELLY CAKE.--One cup of sugar, one-half cup of milk, two cups of flour, quarter of a cup of butter, two teaspoon- fuls of baking powder, two eggs. COCOANUT JUMBLES.--One pound of cocoanut, grated, three-fourths of a pound of sugar, three eggs, two table- spoonfuls of flour; drop on buttered pans. COFFEE'CAKE.--Five cups of flour, one cup of butter, one cup of cold coffee, one cup of molasses, one cup of sngar, one cup of currants, one cup of raisins, two eggs, one-fourth pound™ of citron, one teaspoonful of soda, cloves and cin­ namon. PifccALiLLi.--One peck of green to­ matoes, twelve large onions, ten large green peppers, one cup ef brown sugar, one-half a cup of mustard, salt and pep­ per to taste. Squeeze the juice o\jt and scald; squeeze again and scald in vine­ gar, boil two hours. CHILI SAUCE.--Nine large ripe toma­ toes, one onion cliopj>ed finepfour pep­ pers, two teacups* of vinegar, one table- spoonful of salt, two table-spoonfuls of sugar, one teaspoonful each of ginger, cloves, allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg. Let * i • •' ' : ' v. - Drinking While Working. Men in health perspire freely when vigorously, at work on warm days. Very heavy sweating may sometimes arise 'from weakness; a dry skin may indicate disorder. Evaporation from the surface carries off heat and keeps the body cool. A larger supply of drinking water is re­ quired for the warm haying and harvest days, but much less than is commonly supposed. Half a pint of water, sipped .slowly, will vassuage thirst much more effectively tlian a quart gulped down. A different temperature in two adjacent portions of the body produces conges­ tion. A pint of cold fluid of aqy kind thrown into the stomach may result in more or less congestion; serious illness, and not infrequently deaths, arise from this cause. If ice water is taken at'any time, it should always be swallowed so slowly that the stomach can warm each gill before taking another. As to the kinds of drink, the positive teachings of medical science, and experience, indi­ cate that pure water is by far the best fluid for assuaging thirst, and supplying the wants of the syst«?m. Beers, ale, sweetened drinks, or any fluid that con­ tains material that must be digested, are a tax upon the stomach, and tend to disorder the system. If taken at all it should be only with other food. Pure water is absorbed at once into the blood, and is carried directly to those parts of the "body where it is needed. If the water is bad, it may usually be corrected by the addition of a little ginger extract; too much of this produces constipation; but on this account it may be used more, freely in looseness of the bowels. AU alcoholic drinks are unhealthful for one in active exercise. They stimulate in­ creased effort--effort beyond one's nat­ ural strength--and unnatural exhaustion inevitably follows. Just as far as one raises himself above a normal condition by alcoholic stimulants, just so far be-, low this condition will l»e surely sink a few hours after, and the elevating and depressing operation wears upon and disorganizes the machinery of the body. --American Agriculturist. ; .Ben HHPs G»d a Living (fed. Senator Hill, it might be said, admin­ istered on liis own estate during^his j lifetime. Most of his property was dis- : posed of before he died by gifts to his j children and his wife. His will is short, ! merely disposing of the remaining part i of his property and giving directions I about things that he wished done and : in wliicli the public could feel no inte^r- ; est. In item six is the following: "I! now give and bequeath to my wife and ; children that which some of them now ; possess and which I assure them, in full i view of death, is far richer than gold j and more to be desired than all human i honors. God is a living God and Christ j came into the world to save sinners. I i beg them to have faith in Jesus, .for by this faith alone can they be saved."-- Atlanta Constitution. : r--T--' • Mors de Combat. : He lay in a swoon by the roadside. His lielmet was broken; his visor was cracked; his gorget was tarnished with the smoke of battle; his breastplate was indented like a milk can; his. hal­ berd was as dull as a 5-cent barber's _WHHK is an estate Efc*% Wasoh? #• When it is wound up. ATJ.A»T* has % Miiualn whoe- j maker; but such u institution cannot last. ' \ 1 A MAN mar Ukeito (̂ 4^n2nna- ̂ ele of fame, butheddes not care ttf sit down on the first part of jt. THE ubiquitous sign, "Port no Bills," has never deterred your tailor from, fir- ing îie missives at you thrt̂ » the THE KKROSEXE CAK. When the wtad whlstlea sad tbe snow &rttts higher, ' The maiden lifteth me to light the flgher, " " Oh, never more will Connemarm see That fair young exlle sttpptng gay and free " Among the pigs about the aibtnvard; ' * : She's all on hand, but rather tired aad chirred ; A STRANGER on one occasion indulg- ing in skeptical doubts of the existence Y'M bf aa OVER*IILIFIG--PI%?IA^^ Smith, who had observed him evidently • well satisfied with his repast, said: "Xou R , I must admit that there is great genius ^ and thought in that dish?", •Admira­ ble!" he replied; "nothing can be bet- ; ter !" "May I then ask are you pre­ pared to deny the existence of the feook ̂ asked Sydney.; , IF argyment won't .bring a man ober to your side ob de queshun, kiockin' »r--- him down won't do any good. De TNAN who can r^n up a bill'at de butcher's - an' dodge him for six months am not necessarily a statesman. De man who takes up de moas' sidewalk am hot alius de pussou ob de moas' consequenoe. .• A V. 15-cent drunkard wants mo' ROPTOR/N DIS > world dan a Judge ob de Supreme 6ourt.--Brother Gardner. IF they can do so truthfully,' editors should always speak favorably of the ,L people among ^HOM their sad lot is cast. The editor of the Griffin Banner, re­ ferring to one of the most respectable citizens in the place who committed sui­ cide while laboring under the effects of - delirium tremens, SA^S that he was "A live and public-spirited citizen, ever mindful of the coinfort'of fiis neighbors." --Texas S if tings. "How are the colored 'voters coming on, out on Onion creek?" a^ked an Austin candidate of a darkv with . a load of hay. "Dar's a heap OT sicknes^ out dar among de colored folks." "Whh,T! is it, malaria?" "I reckon dat's de name of de stuff. Hit am sumfin what he got from the druggery shop." "What stuff are you talking about ?" "De stuff a white man out dar puts in his water- millions to keep de colored folks from mistaking em FQR dar own watermill- ions." • ^ A THOROUGHLY WU-autHenticated an­ ecdote illustrating his excessive tact' was told of Disraeli, soon after he was created Earl of Beaconsfield. It appears that not long after his transplantation ' from the House of Commons to the House of Lords, Disraeli met a brother peer in the street,, who asked < him how he liked the , CHANGE, "Libe it," e\-# * claimed Disraeli, forgetting himself |qr . the moment, and blundering out with the truth; "like it! I feel as if I -FRERE1 dead and buried alive." Then, S^BING* the expression of discomfiture on thei peer's face, he added hastily, with a courtly and an irresistible smile, " and in the land of the blessed!" • • ' BROWN has a friend tvhe is 'Constantly' mousing about the tobacconists' STORES'? in the effort to -find how cheap he OAN|FE purchase cigars. The consequence is, &V that while he brags a great deal about the inexpensiveness and surprisingly good quality of his purchases, he smokes weeds ,of the most horrible andjafej,' mysterious character. He met Brown ^ in the street, and kindly held under his nose a cigar that he was smoking. "What do von think of that?" said lie;4* "pretty good cigar for a cent, isn't it "Maybe," returned Brown, as he liel^l his nose, "but it's a dreadful scent for a< . cigar." Thereupon they parted withotit' ^ further discourse. . A BRIDAL couple SAT tin the piazza <SF < a hotel. They tried six or seven differ- ' ent chairs before finally selecting those, ; considered suitable. It was cool, and Mr. Younghusband went up-stairs to get a shawl for his wife, and in putting it on mussed her hair, as all .awkward men, especially bridegroom^, do. , "George," said she, "ain't it lovely here?" "Yes," said George, "it is, dear." "That was an awful mean PRES- ^ ent your sister gave me--wasn't it, George?" "Why, no: I don'T"thftik'it was," said lie,A trifle tmgry. "Yes it was, too!" exclaimed Mrs. Younglius- band, beginning to cry, "and you know' it was. She's TL mean, stingy thing. I'll send back -fell# old butter-dish, so there! and you ought to be ashamed of yourself to quarrel with me so soon." Tliev went down to the lake in silence. •: Primitive People in New England. The methods of living of some of these backwoods down-easters, says a writer to the Boston Post, were yet more old- fashioned. I visited a couple, distant relatives of the friend who went with me, who married in 1868, and neither of them has been five miles from home since their marriage. They have no children, and no carriage of any kind. But they have a library, and I was al­ lowed to examine it. It consists of a family Bible and a file of the weekly Portland Argus for 1859, so neatly pre­ served that one wpuld suppose that it had been locked away every minute of the twenty-two years. They have never bought a "paper during this long time. They walk more than a mile to church every Sunday, but neither of them has spent a night away from home Since their marriage. They do not owe a dime and never have, but they are be­ lieved to have hidden away several thousand dollars in the walls, floor, chimney, or some other hiding-place. But they have pronounced orthodox re­ ligious views, and he is an "Old Hick­ ory Democrat." Neither of them was under 40 years old when tliey marVied. There are hundreds of people in Maine and New Hampshire whose news of the wq^d's doings is limited to what they "hear tell" at the meeting-houses on Sundays. But they are, as a rule, hon­ est and industrious, substantial timber -from which to send scions iutq bpt||er spheres of life. ^ • «-- --1--; PriiTN<; twenty-o^e years*? or since early childhood, a man of Lewiston, Pa., has not spoken to liis father. Thero was no quarrel the outset, but «m* in­ stinctive antipathy. (fellnlold Stereotypes. The uses of celluloid seems almost ( endless. A New York company haS' " now acquired a process by which it be employed in stereotyping. The ohiel < > advantage claimed for its use is thafe M celluloid is the only material yet emt«,-,, ployed in stereotyping which is nof",' • affected by the acids, alkalies and oth&r chemicals contained in printing inkv When common electrotypes are used, neither a jet black tint in,ink, nor fine shades of colored ink, can be retained c in printing, owing to., the chemical ac*»^ ? tion of the copper upon the chemicals*^# contained in the .ink ; .but by thefeliit;' use of celluloid this trouble is avpided#- Celluloid is also desirable for printing purposes, because of its great toughnes; and durability.! Among its points ol excellence areIts, freedom frjpn corrotii^r ! sion by dampness; its lightness (80 per < t cent, lighter than metal); its capacity o£^. being molded, under proper conditions, into any desirable shape. The finest? lines of a delicate cut, or the finest typej' are reproduced with perfect*accuracy in the celluloid stereotvpe. As eopipared w with an electrotype it is recommended by an imperceptible elasticity which, in. the operation of printing, saves horse*- . power, and produces admirable results, -... j Hew Quarrels Originate. •' "'• Nearly all family and neighborhood troubles' originate in bad manners. *' Some one gives way to irritation andsf®.® says something that is harsh either in*rtr~" substance or manner, and this provokes^*? a reply in kind. Thus the peace is ^ broken, and after that the influence^, that work" to intensify and spread the quarrel develop themselves with won- & derfjil speed. Or, one meddles with • wliat does hot concern him, asks too many questions about it, or makes re- ^"' marks that it is not his business to- ' make and has noYight to make, and ; arouses jealousies and resentments. Nine-tenths of the difficulties that occur would have no beginning if every one/ would make the effort persistently to be courteous at all times, and would alwava honor the principle /of keeping strictly " within his own line of business--not forgetting to give a soft, if indirect, answer to those who may venture to in­ trude over it.--Methodist. „ • V . -LA:;- y ? ^