Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 3 Jan 1883, p. 6

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"what have I been doing ft^«he*i&imw*rto» h dobtft tls4 both bounds; way t&m i nl Savor Thsy Mi4« a* with •ngtaeet*. Tttt? fev«*, dtk*w»d dam me; And. »pfee of all the pttota* sneers, With public cnh they crammc. Whenever any c<»ttyplan Pr roods to execution, X nw- cp away the works rt And bold them tn solution. t cut and carve and undermine; 't onen wlcl« mv throttle, toe I am like fermenting wine, That always bursts the bottle. No human power bas yet controlled* Mv miprb' y force and motion, '1^ Aa thr u?ch the years my coarse I UpMI tight onward to the ocean. And Koothward still your flag I O'er yonr appropriations; I take th- cash you have to spare t roai all administrations. jr«» York Sun. ftt>asli it, m save her life!" said the Ha ;or, suddenly. The Major had, just laid a covering of •now-white lather ou that tract of chin which was fitiii sacred from tho incur­ sions of his luxuriant beard. As he fave vent to this remarkable resolution e inadvertently wounded himself with his razor, so as to compel a report to a towel and cold sponging, which pat an •end to ' is reflections for a time. M «j. Majorilranks was an active, clean­ ly-built man, rather below the average height. He had an eye l:ke a hawk's, beautiful hair and whiskers, but no ©tlier striking feature. His hands and ieet were sin .ill and finely formed, and A fr.nt tooth which nature had taken from him h ul been exquisitely supplied 1>y the hand o? art. The great feature of the Major's char­ acter w-iS determination; when lie said * thin or he m -ant it. In the Crimea, if Maj. Majoribanks had said that a post •lion Id be carried it3 fill was looked upon as certain. Zerlina, the Major's 4 vicious little mare, knew it was useless to try and refuse if once her master put lier head straight for an obstac e. Like the late Mr. Asslieton Smith, he would quietly "ride for a fall," if the leap were impracticable without one; And no one knew !>etter how to fall deltly than the Major. But a life spent, as it were, in a suc- session of pitched 1 tattles, doe3 not pass Without leaving mirks of wear r nd tear, *nd the Major after hi-? third bottl© of hair-dye, began to take very serious fiews of life. Short and dec'sivewere his ruminations, and with characteristic promptness he determined on marriage as his next achievement. For this pur­ pose he selected a young lady of re­ markable wealth and considerable at­ tractions, and devoted himself to the facrifioe like a second Iphigonia--bar- Sing the sex. Perhaps it was the very difficulty of <he achievement that impelled the ^nnt less Major to the attack. Diana Harford had already refused two Baro- ^J^^^baukerand four minor deit ea iei1ilHP^1BSeWajFor,S* appearance in the #eld, and still continued to ride across the country with as much enthusiasm •8 if her whole life was to be devoted to that occupation. People began to say Jttiat she would never mirry. "Tlie right man has not spoken," was ~€1« general opinion; and the Major, as d&e gnawed his mustache, resolved with m ward oath that he would prove 1 himself that man, or perish in the at* - tempt. : Hot that the Major was wholly devoid that unpractical machine called a ;#cnrt. Down in a little villa near a *®Olilary village lived a little lady of 20, who conkl have told strange tales of W Major's sentimentality. Oh, Major, Mijor! were not all your flocks and lu/rds sufficient, that you must needs '.^jfuike this innocent ewe-lamb a captive 44 your bow and spear? ^ But let us do the Major justice. In wits matter he was not altogether a free agent. From the moment he met Pat*y tioseneath he had felt himself fascinated M her, in spite of all his attempts to v f>ersnade himself of the contrary. That • quiet, almost timid little provincial beauty, with a general unsophisticated- ftess of tone and manner, should have »ny power to enchant the Major of a thou* :iui battles seemed to him too Sridioalous an idea to be entertained fob 4k QOment. It did not occur to him jlhat it was perhaps this very difference •from the woman he had been #cc s'omed to flirt with that constituted her charms. / Reviewing the mato that morning In the solitude of his chamber, the M'ljor looked back on this love-passage "I was a woman fi&TOPwntoa?" ' are, Di, the fMm said ywt would never find any loan to auitjrou exactly." juat _what Fm wan "" " of atri - --- ,s ters. What I want Tfe a man--one that is not afraid to be natural, or ashamed to be in earn­ ed. I really think our average dandy, with his cool self-sufficiency, and his in­ sulting indifference, the most unpleas­ ant production of the age. There's the Major now--" ' "Who is that?" e • ' "Maj. Majorihankrf, my g!o- ry of his regiment, and the idol of all the horse-dealers, amateur actors, and fast young men for a circle of twenty miles. Why, Patty, you're blushing! You don't mean to say you know the man !" "I met him--that is--he is a friend of my brother's," said the lady with some hesitation. " And you've been foolish enough to believe all his nonsense, child, I dare say. Come, now ?" "Well, he certainly is an extraordi­ nary man," plea.Ied Patty. "Oh, yes, very. He can ride a kicker or writo a burlesque. But as for heart, --why, my dear child, he'd toss you aside, if it suited his purpose, with as much in liflVrencs as I toss that with­ ered camellia. Now, don't you waste a thought on him. I don't intend to, though the wretched man has been making love to me in his quiet way ever since lie came. I'm afraid every dav he'il propose, and I shad have the trouble of refusing him without losing my temper." •\Bnt I can't help it," said Pattv, faintly. " Oh, yes, you can. You thought you couldn't down in that 'dull place, with nothing e'so to tiiink about, but you'll be uuder a different treatment, here, I can aisure you. I'll tell you what--as a gr at treat to-morrow you shall ride Crusader. "W e'll take a quiet canter alone: the lanea." Oh, but I can't ride strange horse?," said Patty. "Oh, y.m'll soon get acquainted. Mind, I consider this a great favor, and you mustn't hurt my feelings by re­ fusing. One of my habits will fit you nicely, and when you return you'll feel spirit enough to defy twenty Majors." "You are a darling girl," said Patty, getti g up and kissing her. "I'm afraid you're in a minority,, my dear," said Diana. "Most people say I'm intensely disagreeable. Goodnight, and don't dream of the Major." And the pair kissed again, and parted for the night. The next day was one of those mild, hazy November ones, which break out into a glimpse of sunshine toward noon, and then return -to their former dull­ ness. The two girls rode along tho hedgerows, chatting pleasantly. "I'm sure I shad never be able to manage this animal," said Patty timid­ ly. "See how he tosses his head about." That's because you let him leel the curb, dear: I had ii ptit up ttlt-.tip uii purpose. Have power of punishment, but seldom use it; that's the real secret of managing horses, dogs and men. There now, you see he goes quietly enough on tho snaffle. Now coax him a little, ami give and take mo--e; remem­ ber he isn't a phlegmatic donkey, with a mouth like a deal board," "We!!, I must say I prefer quiet, hordes; one feels so much more at ease." "Pshaw, my dear! I wouldn't give a guinea for a horse that any one could ride, that took no more notice of a steam-e' gine than of a haystack. They- have just the same dead-level of indif­ ference that is the ideal excellence of the young man of the period, who henxs with equal apathy of a railroad accident or a revolution." "Well, T suppose they only follow the fashion, just as in their coats and col­ lars." " But what an age it must be that makes a dead calm its acme of good style, and substitutes Jack Poyntz for Ranger or Charles Surface." "Good heavens, Diana! You don't mean to say you read those horrid old plays? Mamma would not let me study such things on any account." "Nonsense! As if they could be worse than the t rpnch plays one sees now, or half a dozen 'English ones I could nime. At least, I enjoy the male characters more than in ours. They were infinitely more sparklinjr, and I don't believe they were a bit wickeder at bottom." "Ah,Di! Im afraid you will never get marri d at this rate."* "No, dear. As some one says of IW- K wouldn't liinoh; one f o r t h a t . . . . . oHeJ, as an indis- down the wind and ked up their ears. "Tho st nave come all the lord." "O Patty," sa'd ling with excitement, "I'd ing to be with them." en do go. dear," said Patty with an effort at self sacrifice that was enor­ mous. "I shall be safe enough. Withers will take care of me." "Well, he's just down in the road there. Keep along it, and you'll just cross the line they are taking. I really must--come, Terry;" and away went Diana, habit tossing and eyes glisten­ ing and vanished gloriously. Patty turned her horse's head back toward the gate of the field they had turned into, and got safely out into the ro»d. Some distance down it she could see Withers, the groom, who was hav­ ing a little difficulty witu his horse, which was plunging and curveting in a diagonal position, as is the manner of eager horses, performing an equine balance-step without advancing partic­ ularly. On Crusader catching sight of his companion in ill-doing, he proceed­ ed to imitate his actions with a consid­ erable amount of exaggeration^ Pattv, finding h->m bursting into a canter, at­ tempted to take up the curb-rein, but only succeeded in getting both in an in­ extricable confusion. Then she clung in terror to them with both hands, on whbh the irritable Crusader fought himself into a confused canter, which developed itself into a smart gallop, dashed past the astonished Withers, and stampeded. Our friend the M vjor had been rid­ ing a line of his own for a short dis­ tance, and was separated from the rest of the field by the.breadth of a pasture, when he heard the quick-repeated rat­ tle of a horse going at full gallop in the road at the other side of the high hedge, parallel to which lie was riding, and in another moment lie $aw through the twigs the horse he had looked in vain for at the meet tear past h m at mad speed, the b!ue habit streaming back as the wearer swayed in the sadtlle, holding the reins in both haids with the convulsive grasp of fear. "Runaway, by Jove!" said the Major, turning Zerlina's head without the least hesitation at the quickset. Two or three intense strides--a rise and a crash of twigs--a rattle of liorse-hoofs as they patter oa the hard road, as Zerlina just manages to save her kne s and nose from damage by a clever reeovei'y, and then the Major, as cool as if he had betin hopping over a gutter instead of one of the ugliest drops in his experi­ ence, set her going in pursuit. About ha'.f a mile from the place where this stern chase commenced, where the road was crossed by another at r'ght angles, stood an, inn. called the Cross Keys. The Major knew this, and also that on the other side of it tlie road dipped down into a rather steep hill. He had got up some twenty yards nearer when the inn appeared in sight, and, keeping on the turf side of the road, that the noise of his approach might not add fresh speed to the runa­ way, he called on Z ̂ rlina smart y for a decisive effort. In front of the Cross Keys was a tri­ angular patch of sodden turf, and as Crusader came upon this he slackened his Kinjfu Tf-vv slishily; thf* M jr>r dashed alongside and seized the<rera» near the bit in his right handP the horse, which was not a vicious eoe, stopping a ter a few struggles, as he felt the power at work on tho curb; and the lady, falling, fainting, forward in a heap on his neck, would have fallen . to the earth had not the ever-ready like, just as a matter of eourse." Too Major leapt from his saddle and caught Jpocket money,, and young lada her in his arms. It would have made a !sot,:lnr'tlieu< ow? wa7- reHnl* this, "The de-vil 1" M ffa# bene ith his musiaohe«t "You might. hftv* h?en satisfied with making a silly girt with­ out instilling h*r aiteired. Oh, how could you be so o o otllaf" "I Bay, Pattjr*-li«ten,1» moment-- don't talk like that. You don't sup­ pose I meant to hurt your feelings. Hang it, I ain't such a cad as all that comes to. I didnt know it WM you--I took you for--" "Oh, I know; you took me for Miss Harford. Dear Di! she told me you had been making love to her ever since you came. But I thought you had only been fl--fl--flirting," said Patty, going off again. "Did she tell you that?" said the Major. "Yes; and she said you were a con­ ceited man, and she was afraid every day you'd propose, because she would have the trouble of refusing you. I vever told her all you said to me down at Rosewood. Silly that I was ever to believe in a Major." Did pique and chagrin at the intelli­ gence that he had just received prompt the Major's next impulse ? Or did his better angel whisper to him that a din­ ner of herbs with this little woman who really loved him, and for whom he was conscious of a feeling as nearly akin to that passion as he was capable of ex­ periencing, would be better than a more splendid repast with her to whom he was indifferent? Bitterly would he have derided such an idea from anoth­ er; bitterly that morning would he have laughed at the thought of his present conduct. But few men act up to their principles, and it was with a ring of genuine feeling in his voice that he sat down by Patty's side and said-- but we will not write his words; they were greatly devoid of that artistic flu­ ency which generally distinguished the Major's utterances to tho fair sex; but to Patty they sounded like flowing honey. "And you really will--and you're not sorry for what has happened?" "Well," said the Major, looking down into her eyes which gazed up through her tetrs, glistening , with mingled lit»ht and tear-drops, "perhaps it wasn'r such an unfortunate mistake after all!" Would you be surprised to hear that the Major makes a capital husband? He lives in an atmosphere of spuds and steam-plows,and county magistracy, and when on some summer's eve the cloud- compelling cigar being lighted, he lies upon his lawn, «nd sees his young bar­ barians all at play, he really does not look unhappy. Sometimes a young lady, who is getting older, comes to see Mrs. Majoribanks and the children. She it is who has given Fred his pony and Maurico his terrier. She is still unmarried, and intends to continue so. "And yet I always thought you would marry, some time or another," says Patty to her visitor, as the Major passes the window. "And I know some one that thought so too, at least at one time." "Ah, my dear," says Diana, with a slight, comical turn of her lip, "that was the Major's mistake." Shipped. On a very dark June evening I listen- ?d to" an awful story of the incorrigible badness of a young: man who was drag­ ging an honored name through the mire. I said. "But what will they do with him?" The answer was: "Oh, he'll have to be shiyped." Though the phrase wn» n<Wr*Wff^iiftppftry was ex­ pressive and one was «ware what was meant. Ah,, get the black sheep out of *ight, somewhere beyond the great sea! My friend went on to say, speaking of a certain great city: " When you get there you will hear people saying, 'Mr. smith has two sons shipjied,' and the a mean and melancholy time, "You must have had plenty of offers?" "Oh, dozens! all couched in the con­ descending b evity with which tho preux chevajjfcr of the day deigns to express h^s wishes, Now, just co >trast the men- we have been talking about. Worship commences by a shower of more or less readable versos, which you have the op­ tion of reading or committing to the flames. You casually drop your hand­ kerchief into a running stream or down a precipice, and your adorer throws him­ self after it, and restores it at the risk of his life. A'ter a while he throws himself upon his knees--both knees, mind--and begs you to save him from destruction. You relent; on leaving you ha meets his rival; a glance is - - - - did Di­ li0 Witii a thankful sense of escape ~i was , MorrLs t shal! flie the serene martyr of mighty near making a fool of my*elf „t„, » 'v thnt time," said the Major to himself as the tied his cravat. But though the Major congratulated %iimelf on being so safely off with the old love, he was far from feei ng so Aom'ortable with regard to his prospects the new. Miss Harford's heart Reined to be impregnable even to this experience ! besieger. The Major, who SB^rejPcommittedtlie error of ove ratinor jhis advan ages, confessed to himself that ho had done all he knew. He had attacked the fortress with all the '^paraphernalia of sapping and mining, Wx gzags and parallels, and still the flag of liberty floated mockingly above the tinconquered ba -tions. There was but •one hope--a forlorn hope, he confessed to himsel'--aud it was with a serious > though determined spirit that the Major • resolved on an attack by -torm. He pronounced tlii* resolution in the m-morable words which commence tliis story. "Dish it!" said the Mnjor, •"I'd save her life." Perhaps, had th * Major known who it was that had arrived as a guest to :"Miss Harford on the previous evening, it might have disturbed his calculations. But there is no reason why we should i not listen to the conversation of Diana j and her guest, as they sit by the bed- , room fire in their elegant, deshabille. f Miss Harford was a girl of consider­ able individuality of character. With­ out affecting any of the airs of a "blue" •or an eccentric, she generally thought for herself on many subjects, and would state her opinions pretty strongly •on occasion. This caused her to be re­ garded wi h suspioion and dislike by most of her own sex and the weaker of ; J ours. She was unusually--prudes said improperly--well-read in the drama of the last century, and actually preferred the sohool of Sheridan to the school of Schneider. Strephon enough; swords flash out' ana's eyes--"and wo to flinches." "Horrible!" said Patty. "Will this suit you better? strolls lazily into the room; remarks on the weather; allows himself to recline into a seat bf your side, and suggests that you become Mrs. Strephon. En sortant he meets his rival; treads on his toes; they exchange abusive epithets, light c gars, and--oh, pathos! -- cut each other at the oiub." "Well, that's better than fighting," said Pattv. "And infinitely safer. Well, ray de^r, perhaps after all you are right. We mustn't take our ide* of the olass from S r Harry Wildair--there's a darling name for you. They only show what was the thing. I daresay I am gettiag fearfully crabbed. You see when a girl has money she becomes the oenter of a cire'e of deception. Let's change the subject. How well that habit fits you!" "It feels rather strange. You see I so seldom ride at home." "Ah, of course. Now to me habit is sec and nature, as some one says. I capital picture--the two horses, stand­ ing steaming and panting, and the Major staggering under the weight of the senseless damsel,, whose chin hung over his shoulder, while her hair, re­ leased from its bonds in her wild flight through air, streamed down his scariet- eoftted back. With some difficultv the Major carried his lovely burden into the porch of the Cross Keys. "Show me a private1 room and get me a glass of brandy!" were the orders with which he stepped the mouth of the astonished landlady. "La! poor, dear yemng lady!" said that female, in a voice of sympathy, as she brought the restoring fluid. "Can I do anything for her, sir?" "No, I think not," said the Major, de­ cisively. "Leave her to me I've had some experience in cases of thii k nd," and thrusting half a crown into the wom­ an's hand he shut the door in her faoe. ^Well, how she could ha married he!" said the woman to herself, as she re­ turned to the bar. She evidently thought from the Major's want of sym­ pathy that he must be the husband of the sufferer. The evening gloom was just closing in, and made the little back-parlor look more and more dismal and dingy. The Major raised the clinging veil suffi­ ciently to thrust the edge of the class between the lips of tho patient. Pres­ ently the color came bao!t to her face, she drew a long, gasping breath, and felt for her pocket handkerchief. It was in the pocket of her saddle--th© Major instantly placed his snowy cam­ bric in her trembling hand. Then she overflowed. The Major waited a little. Then be ventured to take the hand that was not occupied with his pocket-handkerchief¥ and said, in a tone of respectful tender­ ness : "Don't, pray dont give way so! Yoa're quite safe now, Fassure you." Sob, sob. "If you knew how every s^byountter rends my" ("vitals," the M*jor was go­ ing to s ty, then he thought of "breast," and finally substituted) "hapi* jvm-- you wouldn't keep on so!" Sob, sob. "You don't know how I hnve hoped, h>;ve longed for a moment liko this to hold your hand in mine, to feel that we are alone together, that you do not re­ pulse mo, that I am permitted" (kisses her l and), "that you do not forbid me." (Bu iness as before.) Sob, sob, Bob. " When will she stop ?" thought the Major. "You do not answer; speak to me-- or hear me while I tell you what I have wished to say for long days pa«t. Miss Harford--Diana, I love yonl" That was deucedly well put, thought the Ma­ jor to himself. "SIR!" said the lady, suddenly be- ooming electrified into an erect posture. "Patty!--Miss Roseneath!" "Yes, Maj. Majoribanks, Miss Rose­ neath. Oh, t*ke me home, take me home, and never, never dare to oall me Patty again!" And the poor father and mother some­ times, though not by any means always go about broken-hearted) to life's end. Some tako it quite- easy, out of sight being with them out of mind. Or, as the schoolmen said"De noaa appar- iiitibus et non existentious eadem est ratio." Some folks meuely think of get­ ting the trouble away from here. They are able to forget that the shipped one lives on still, though fia» away. Out of sight with them is tanamownt to having ceased to be. I suppose we have all seme vague feelings that when a hu­ man goes out of your door, oar turns the corner of the street and passes out off sight, he disappears-wholly; in any case that there is a marked break in his life. Ah, to the man that liven, life is continuous, whatever is may be to those that look at him or talk, of him, your brother is you brother still, though starving on the streets o£ Trisco. And to-say it serves him exactly right is not much comfort. All that can be said is that the shipped black sheep goes tp destruction where is does not so con­ spicuously disgrace those- at home. It i» aot quite so real that be is cold and liongry in Colorado as if he were so in the street before your windows and in hearing of your hospitalities. All the same, I used to wonder how some fath­ ers and sisters managed to live at all, knowing the facts I know. I wonder yet. Has it come to this that the best yen can desire is quite to forget the bright little boy whose childish ways being the tears to youar eyes when you remember them; who> is dead, dead ut­ terly, in the sodden, hulking scamp, liar,, and cheat whom you dare not hope to« see again in this world or jn any other ? It is a bitter world to many; but one might find heart to bear nearly anything but that.--Fro Her'* Magazine. Soldiers ef the Mexican War. The followskg table, cbmpiled fawn official reports, shows the volunteers mustered into the United States ser­ vice in tho Mexican war: .s Massachusetts^ MO I<oniRiana. 7,341 New York 1,090 Tennessee.,,;.. New .Tersey .... 4)0 Kentucky iS........4,6»1 Pennsylvania. 2,117 Ohio ......5,334 Maryland and Din- Michigan . . . .1 ,1)72 trlctof Columbia.1,271 Indiana .4,2-29 Vlrtfinia i,ia2 IUlnoia .....5,7!»l North Carolina. WIS Winconsln......... 146 Sonth Carolina 9:<7 Iowa 220 Georgia 1,!>87 Missouri. 6,441 Alabama ...2,!W1 Arkan*aH..., 1,372 Texas ...7,:»2 Florida..... 2S-.) Mormons 578 Miscellaneou. 55# California 241 MiaiiisHippi. 2,235 Total .67,793 A DISPATCH from Rockfewd, 111., rela­ tive to the arrest of a young man who had stolen money from his employers, states that "he received a salary of $22 a month, but has been living so f:ts& that it was necessary for him to spend double that amount." It seeins hardly credible that one young man coatld lavish $44 a month on himself, but fast horses, women and cards are probably to be blamed. THE commercial traveler grows bright by the rebuffs he is constantly receiv­ ing. The harder you ruh UM brass th$ more it will shine. THE FAMILY DOCTOR. LINSEED oil and charcoal oil is an ex­ cellent remedy tor a scald or burn. A BIT of cotton batting sprinkled wifcl black peppor and wet with sweet-oil an«' idserted in the ear will immediately cuit earache. A TEASPOONKUL of the white of an egg well beaten and mixed with lemon and sugar taken occasionally will relieve hoarseness. To PREVENT the hair from falling out apply once a week a wash made of one quart of boiling water, one ounce of pulverized borax, and half an ounce of powdered camphor. Rub on with sponge or piece of flannel. SLEEPLESS people--and they are many in America--should court the sun. The very worst soporific is lauda­ num, and the very liest, sunshine. Therefore, it is very plain poor sleepers should pass as many hours as possible in the shade. Many women are mar­ tyrs, and yet they do not know it. They shut the shunshine out of their houses and their hearts, they wear veils, they carry parasols, they do all possible to keep off the subtlest and yet most po­ tent influence which is intended to give them strength and beauty and cheer­ fulness. Is it not time to change this, and so get color and roses in our pale cheeks, strength in our weak backs, and courage in our timid souls ? The women of America are pale and delicate; they maybe blooming and strong, and the sunlight will be a potent influence in this transformation. WET EABTH CUIUS.--A new way of dressing wounds was discovered by ac­ cident by Dr. Neuberg, of Germany. Two years ago there appeared at the clinic a laborer who had sustained a compound fracture of the forearm eight or ten days before, with considerable laceration. He had got a comrade to surround the whole forearm at once with a thick paste of peat mold, on which was laid a rough splint of wood. When he came to the clinic he was in good general health, and on clearing off the mold the doctor found the wound to be healing beautifully, without any sign of suppuration. Dr. Neuberg was led by this experience to investigate the properties of peat mold, and his conclu­ sion is that it is peculiarly valuable for the purpose of dressing wounds, chiefly because of its great power of absorbing the products of decomposition.--New York Tribune. How TO RECRUIT TIRED-OUT NERVES. --Sometimes what we call "laziness" ought to be allowed. A child (or a man) who grows fat and lazy from over-feed­ ing, should be put upon a plainer diet and urged to exercise. But those who grow languid and have little appetite from nervous exhaustion, ought to be carefully nourished by nutritious food of easy digestion (since the digestive organs are probablyiiV'a weak condition), and allowed to rest and gather up strength before being called upon to expend it. No stimulants will afford any real help. They call out the strength temporarily, and make one feel strong while the influence lasts, but this is only wasting the strength. One may lire for a time upon stimulants, and appear to be helped by them, but only genuine nourishment really builds up the strength. Food alone, however good, cannot cure nervous exhaustion. Pure air, sunlight (all of this that one can get and endure), cleanliness, warm, easy clothing,and restful surroundings, are all1 essential, and these natural agencies alone will affect a cure in al­ most every case if taken in time, while the case- » curable. The food taken should be real nourishment, not sim­ ply the pretty little invalid's dishes, made up ol delicate starches and flavor­ ings, that one efiten see» recommended by ignorance. Starch has nothing for the brain and nerves, and for this rea­ son white bread1 is very poor food. Flour should be used that contains all of the gluten of the wheat. The "en­ tire wheat flour" is recmiirae'uded by physicians as the^best. Oai meal, good milk, eggs, beeffa^id the best fruits and vegetables, all help no-build irp strength. Piue air night and day are needed, and the time should! be spent orat of doors as much as possible. For those wlic are only beginning to suffer from nerrous exhaustion, light gardening and. other employment may lie useful. Ulioae who are aauch worn those yet and the Wa" deaths. Such _ statement made down with braiki labor had better not ' Lftrdner, that try anythingat first more-laberious than riding, as walking wearies- an already tired brain. There is no health­ ful and' enjoya&le exercisa* than light horsebaok riding; it brings, many mus­ cles into, pthy, diverting tlie mind, and gives tone-tone to both miiut and body. "Diet and Quiet" are among the best of our physicians.--American Agrietil* turist.. Alee- Yoiiir lHumondfe. ttemtine? A correspondent asks-, llow doabtful diamonds may be tested without iivjfary. Hydrofluoric acid will mat affect the diamond, while it quickly corrodes glass, which- is the material of most of the imitation gems* Tlie only objection toiiits use is that it will attack oertain stones of minor but real Talue, like the topaz, which are sometimes passed off as diamonds. Of course, be­ ing a dangerous agent to experiment with, it uuist be employed with great caution. The following directions from the Manufacturer an&Builder may be safely folliawed: "Taks a leaden vessel, of sauceir shape and moderate size, in which pilkee some pcxvdared flourspar, which cower with enough oil of vitriol to comjyietely moisten tlie powder. Then put in the stonatobe tested, and gently warm the nskture- over a gas lamp ait any other convenient source of heat. This should be done in a good draft,, where the vapors will be drawn up a ofi-imney or dissipated, as they are dangerous to breathe. When the evo­ lution of vapors appear to have ceased, whioi will occur lii. from five minutes to a quarter of an hour, according to the quantity of material employed, the head should be withdrawn and the ves- told him angrily that it would t«ke fully three years before he could expert to obtain a duplicate receipt. "That is just why I have torn up the original," calmly remarked the depositor; "and now the money is Bafe for that time." The Safety of Railroads. To eee how immeasurably superior the railroad is in point of safety to all other modes of transportation, wo have only to compare the number of casual­ ties with the number of persons trans­ ported. It will, of course, be under­ stood that all such comparisons are of the roughest kind, especially in this country, where no system exists for col­ lecting or preserving any uniform data in regard to ruilroad operation. Of the 375,000,000 persons annually carried over the railroads of the United States, about 1,800 meet with injuries more or loss severe, while 4(50 are killed. Of the above nuuiliers, 800 of those injured and 200 of the killed may be charged to causes for which the railroad compa­ nies are to a greater or less degree re­ sponsible, while the rest of the casual­ ties are due to the carelessness of the passengers themselves. For every rail­ road passenger, therefore, who is killed in the United States, over 800,000 ate carried1 safely; while for every passen­ ger for whose death the railroad compa­ nies are accountable, nearly 2,000,000 are safely transported. For every rail­ road passenger who is in any way in­ jured, 200,000 are safely carried; while for every passenger injured by causes for which the companies are responsi­ ble, nearly 500,000 are transported withr out accident. In Massachusetts--where the records have been more carefully and more systematically kept for the past ten years than in any other part of the country--the number of passengers Carried in that time was, in round num­ bers, 400,000,000; of which nttmber 581 were injured, 132 of them fatally. Of the whole number 250 were injured from causes beyond their own control, the re­ mainder suffering from their own lack of care. Thus, for any passenger in any way injured, 688,000 were safely carried, while for every passenger killed 3,000,000 in round numbers were transported without injury. If we con­ sider only those who were killed or in­ jured from causes over which they themselves had no control, the results are somewhat different. Thus, in Mas­ sachusetts, during the nine years from 1871 to 1879, tlie number of passengers carried were 303,000,000, of which num­ ber fifty-one were killed by causes be­ yond their own control. For every person killed, therefore, 6,000.000 were safely carried. As the average distance traveled by each person was about fif­ teen miles, the total distance traveled by all before" death happened to any one was 5)0,000,000 miles. In other words, a passenger with average good luck would travel at the rate of sixty miles an hour for ten hours a day, for 300 days in a year, for 500 years, or he would get 3,600 times around the earth before getting killed. It has been stated on good authority that there were actually more persons killed and injured each year in Massa­ chusetts fifty years ago," through acci­ dents to stage-coaelies, than there are now through accidents to railroad trains, notwithstanding the enormous increase in the ©umber of persons transported. From the: statistics of over forty years in France it appears that, in proportion to the whole number carried, the acci­ dents to passengers by stage-coaches in old times were, as compared to those by railroads, as about sixty to one. The nffif'l ill iwtaww •im.a j i n w that a man is safer in a railroad train than he is in his own liorrne; while in England the figures show that hanging is thirty tiines more likely to happen to a man than death by railroad. It is stated by Mr. A dame, mi his. "Notes on Railroad Accidents,"' #lia# the annual average of deaths by accident in the city of Boston alone exoeed» that conse­ quent on running all the nail roads of the state of Massachusetts by eighty per cent„ and that, in. the five years from 1874 to 1873-; more persons were murdered in Boston than lost their lives on all the tffeilroads of the state for the nine yeSfersirem 1871 to though tion which hi vised, railway * an almost infini botii the Revere disasters, or fifty " r. t'» prove the yeans- ago by Dr. means ®£ locomo- ention has yet de- is the safest in and the equal­ ling ly forcible statement oft M"r.. Adams, that " it is not the danger; but the safe­ ty of the modern railroad'which should excite our special wonder."--Pfrttf. Geo' L. Vose, in North American Review Provisioning a SttamKhfpi Three thousand five hundred! pounds of butter, 3,000 hams, 1,600. pounds bis­ cuits, not those supplied' to. the crew, 1*000 pounds "desert stores," muscatels, almonds, figs, etc., exalusiva <ul fresh fruits, wliioh are taken in;at every port; 1,500 pounds of jams and! jellies, 6,000 pounds of i tinned meats, 1,000> pounds oi dried deans, 3,600 pounds, of rice, 5,000 pounds of onions, forty tons of potatoes, 60,000 pounds of. fitoor, and 20,000 ejjgs. Fresh vegetables, dead meat, aud live bullbcks, sheep, pigs, geese, ftorkeys, guinea births ducks, fowls, fith and casual' game are gener­ ally supplied at each port or call, or re- pleuishttd at the further end oS the jour­ ney, so till at it is diilicult to obtain com­ plete < «timates of them. Perhaps two dozen bullocks aiadi sixty sheep would be a fiisr average for the whole voyage, and tile rest may he inferred in propor­ tion. The writer-has knowa twenty-five fowla.sacrificed ia a single-day to make chicken-broth. We, therefore, shan't star,'re if we ar<». a day « two behind tiniin whioh is considered a, great enorm­ ity.- low. The mention oi" chicken broth 8t,®gosts sicknasg, and ssefcmess conjures ujfilhe doctor^and with Hhe- doctor is as­ sociated mediirihe. His dispensary is as wall furnished";with drains, as any chem- iik's shop in ».country town, and we ob­ serve anion other things it oontainst sel allowed to ceet The stone may now be fished orwf from the pasty mass 'j twelve ounceaof quinine, for gallons ot ami examined. Ifl if sltows no sign otWack draught, twenty pounds of Seidlita bsing attacked yon maybe assured thai P°wders, a* gallon castor oil, and at it is a genuine "stone. ' A paste stone-! hundred weight oi Epsom salts, will be found fco be strongly corrodid!'! ̂ cvid<Hiti that if the sick people <&>> by the hydryfnoric acid that has come ?,ot get well it is from no lack of physio. in contact witlki it; and, if a small one, it will probabfy have been entirely #Sr solved." ' Beyond Hie Reach. An ingenious method of puttihg his savings beyond his own reaeh was adopted by a German writer, who found &om dire experience that ail his profits aaielted away as soon as earned. Having made £16,000 by a fortunate literary speculation, he placed the whole of the money, together with hia will, in the Imperial Deposit, Bank at Berlin, and, on receiving the receipt from the cashier,deliberately tore it up. The cashier thought he was mad* and Four thansand sheets, 2,000 blanks to, 8,000 towels, 2,000* ponnds of candlas.-- except those vessels which are fitted up witA the electric light; 1,000 ksives, 2,200 plates, 900 cups and saucers^ 3,000 snucoes--fanoy whatahandsome iacome tho amount represented by annual losa and breakage wonld be--800 table­ cloths, 2,000 glasa-clotlis--all these are figures exhibited in the provesftdermg of one ship alone. Think what they would amount up to when multiplied by the number of ships in each company's fleet, and then try to realize tlie fact that this department constitutes only one and by no means the greatest oi their incidental expenses.--Chambers Journal All. good clothes oeme high exi bell dressee. LIFE for the hopeful youth is full ol to-morrow. The old man who lives oil yesterday has a slender diet and tittlip comfort--N. O. Picayune. |§ THS man who never changes his opin| yun ain't a-going to kno much, and th one who changes it too often, is a-goin to kno less.--Josh Billings. "MERCY on me, what are those horri* ble sounds tip-stairs?" "Oh, tliat'i- nothing but dear George; 1 suppose;.' : he has lost his collar-button again." vf* Miss LILLIPHACE says she uses pow* der merely to take the shine off he^&?^ %. face, but her little brother says sh^ T uses it to take the ahine off" the othe# J 'girl's face. "WHAT can I do for you to induce yott to go to bed tiow?" asked a mamma of h e r 5 - y e a r o l d b o y , " Y o u c a n l e t m e r . - • > : sit up a little longer," was the youngs ' ster's response. -j IT is an undeniable fact that nearly!? all centenarians are poor and have been V poor all their lives. If you wish to live „ to a good old age, young man, never" advertise.--Boston Star. <*****>. A COURTIER praising an old lady for he r b e a u t y , s h e s a i d t h a t b e a u t y w a s i n - ; i n ­ compatible with her age, to which the courtier replied: "We say as beautiful as an angel, and yet the angels are ofi . , all creatures the most ancient." CHARLES LAMB represented the or* dihary church-goer. "You don't seem * to be any better for what I said to you,"- complained his friend. "No," was tlie * beautiful and charitable reply, "but tlie- man who sat next to me must be, be­ cause it all went in one ear and out'&t the other." "You have been up before me half a dozen times this year," said an Austin justice, severely, to a local vagrant. "Come, now, Judge, none of that. Every time I've been here I've seen you here. You are here more than I am. People who live, in glass houses should not throw stones." DOCTOR to an acquaintance--"Mr. Jones, I am glad to see you have re­ covered." Mr. Jones--"Yes, you have saved my life; how can I thank you sufficiently?" Doctor--"I saved vour life ? Why I didn't attend you." Mr. Jone--"Yes; and that is why I am so grateful.--Quiz. THEY were discussing Tliackery's "English Humorists." "Who was it, Miss Cutting, that said 'True wit never produces a smile.'" "I really can't tell you, Mr. Quotation, but it seems to me he must have heard a good many of you college men telling jokes or he'd never have taken such a dismal view of life." --Harvard Lampoon. LIUTLE scene at a tea table.--"Mam- ma, I know the brown house yoo looked at is taken!" Mamma--"How do you know?" Belle--"Because I saw two bird-cages hanging out." George (six years old very demurely), eyeing hi® well-filledi plate complacently--"Two- | bird-cages! Nothing to eat E Nothing: to sleep on! Nothing to sit on T Only two bird-cages! How desolateT A REVERES® gentleman in Aberdeen­ shire, having been summoned' before* the presbytery for tippling, one off hist elders, the constant participator ofi hist orgies, was summoned to appear as ai witness against him. "Weel, John," said a meml5fer of tftie reverend court, "did you ever see the accused the worse off! drinks ?" "Weel, I wat, no," answered'- John; "I've mony a time seen him tho? better s't, l:"it seen him th« wjuhH.. o't." "But did you ever see him drunk?""" "That's what I'll! never see," replied the- elder, "for lang before he's half, sicken- ened, I'm aye blin«S fou." A MAN recently fell down. Hb was^a* large individual an i took up lots of the* sidewalk, and a bystander thought* it the proper time to be funny. "How didi you come to fall?" He inquired. "On a-. bit of lemon ?.^ "Yes, sir; on a bib of lemon," replied! the corpulent one; "But I see no lemony" replied the funny man. "Well, who- said you couldi?'" savagely roared the corpulent indi­ vidual, as he got upland dusted liimselff off with his handkerchief. "Can any one see the lemon ih> half a dozen cock­ tails, say?" SOMETHING*TOO MUFJ^T In Cromwell's time a imitton fair , Swung on a bell, all tor her love#} Anrl ever since, nine time* a venr, The "correspondents?'man must hover Above liis Rcrap-booW;.anil tnkn out. To print atrain, unhappy wiirhfc. Just how she said, to saw her lout, "The envt'ew must not nut; to-night!" I've rend, once more, these verses through,, And tliouah I have a heart's that mellow, I wish to gracious--yeH, • do-- That Cromwell had well hanged the (elhiif --Louixpilb (.'ouriei-.fiiuriial. imi - s Mushroom. Cultivation.. Stable manure is the beat material in> which to rear the mushroom, beds if' properly preparodi l>eing almost certain to yield a crop without any artificial admixture oi.spaern. The spawn of the mushroom is a thread-like underground! structure which it produces, and Ion ar­ tificial bade it is • usual to plant a pieoe- of this reproductive material. Those mushroom gardens are frequently made- in underground, cellars; one advantage- of subterrean culture being the uni­ formity of temp raturo thus.obtained;. Some of: the Large English hotels now grow their own mushrooms in this way. Descaibing on» of these gardens late­ ly, a oorrespou ,ent of the Gardner's Chi-'micle states that in the under­ ground cellars of the hoteiiat the Crys­ tal Palace,, near Birmingham, he saw lastrwinter tfbe finest crop of mushrooms he had ever beheld; the beds were madfc up. on* the floor wiiii manure from tho stables* and for six months they pw>dticed an abundance of fine, fleshy,, well-flav E»d mushrooms. A properly- cultivated! bed of this kind, in full bear­ ing, will irield from fanr to fiv«* pounds, ofi these• fungi weekify for every square- yard; TJhe largest establishments of this, kind, however, are in th« neighbor­ hood! ai Paris. wlie«e the expensive galH lariea. ®f the dinujed city quarters a^e utilized for this purpose, lui these beds, run for miles, the-mushrooms produced bein^r usually of small fivre--a featfnr». wliwh rather enhances tlwir valru* Oc­ casionally, hovtever, tlwse <?ata£omb& have produced enormowi specimens, aa the one weighing six l>ouu«& two onnces, the tap of whioh B&easniwd thirteen inches in diameter, and which was considered sufficiently remarkable to be presimted to tho reigning sover­ eign Louia Philip^ The quantity of mushroorys produpod annually in those galleries is not. kw&wn, bat there are no fewer ti*n 250 growers; and a single society rocentlr fon uled for developing ninshiwom ouifriviirion in tlie city vaults and qnarrida, is said to o'.tfctin nearly a tou f'aily from its bods.--Ediilburg tS-v'.finayi. ITALIAN wines are too good, abund* ant and aheap this year. - ut' fey .*' . _

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