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if# i »<»« ILLIXOi? n CKA*. NUM *»*«•. a do^hildren, d* 1xxld«- keep quiet, like Gretohen, nine ao shock tool oS mischief, I _ der room nrundt aft notsee like deader? dot! VM dwwlMiydtag m»l» sooeh * notoe nnd Otto, mine two leedle poya? been homes, «nd old hi - - unfortunate lew thumb andfingeir. had gone out of the she bent lower over silent. kerm*roi- M the color l'soheeks tow; work, and was I dike onp mine pipe for a goot qriet Aflaoke, onwl me all ofer, nnd dink id a shoke droo mine bookets to see vat dey find, mil der latch-key my vatch dey can vind. Ites somedinf mote as dheir fader sad ni oder To qvtet dot Otto nnd his leedle broder. j>ty ahtnb ̂ wdt dheir boot?, and Tear holes In OS dheir drouaera, nnd »htocldn*a, nnd aoooh dings ftsdese. Iffink If dot Croesiw vas lillngr to-tay, Doae poys make more bills as dot Kaiser could f{ p§y; X ate qvidk ondt dot some riches dakevinjjs, •en each gonple a uys I must buy dem new dlnga- I pring dese two abaters some toys efrr tay, teanu "Shonny 8chwmrt* has sooch nice dings," dey aay, *Und Shonny SchwarU barenta n» poorer aa ve"-- Dot's vot der young raabkells van saying to me. Pol «Mt Banta Bans mit a shleigh fool oil toys pon*d gtf aadlsfactions to dose greedy poys. Itay kick kktkc der clothes off ven ashleep in dheir pert, $nd get so mooeh croup dot dey almoadt yaa dead; Bndt Id don'd make no afferent: befort id Tas light ®ey Tea onp in der morning mit billows to fight. I dteklrf Tas beddher yon don'd got some ears Ten dey blay "Holdt der Fort," nnd den gif dree cheers. Oh, dose shildrea, dOM nine life! : Bndt shtop short a leedle. *tfc, Dad doae leedle shildren dey don'd been aronnd, Ond all droo dere house dere vas nefer a sound-- Tdii poys, vy you look oup dot vay mit snrbrise? IMess dey see tears in dheir oldt fader's eyes. •̂ Harper's Magizine. dey boddher If Gretchen, mine Ail Olo-Fashiohed Love. The house was unpainted and one-, tioried. Down to the small-paned win­ dows, with their thick, green glass, Sloped the roof, bearded at the eaves "With moss and patched with yellow and gray lichens, and at one end rose a broad chimney, up which clambered a •woodbine just feathering out with deli­ cate new leaves. There was a stone atep at the front door; in was worn hol­ low at the sides where the lilacs grew, and formed a receptacle for the sweet- dropped petals of the pink, old-fash­ ioned roses, as well as for the pale-pur­ ple flowers. A gnarled and ancient cherry-tree shaded the quaint dwelling,, and all about it stood crooked, untrim- med apple and wild-plnm trees, and •long its irregular stone wall sprang currant bushes and blackberry runners that twisted and turned in and out be­ tween the great loose stones and ntretched over the pathway. The place was a picturesque bit in the landscape. One came upon it ab- over a rise in the high road, and it wte like an old-time vignette to a whole aeries of modern and magnificent country residences that formed the anbarb of a large city. It had been oocraried by generations of the same 4unilj, and so little had they varied in physical or mental traits that it was difficult to tell where sire left off and •on began. Their small farming had continued from year to year without perceptible improvement or change-- aavcthat of the seasons; their gar­ ments descended by inheritance, and chewed all modern ideas of liv­ ing ofpying, and were at length laid in fluent rows, side by side, in the old daisied graveyard on the hillside. V At the time of which I write there remained among the living of this fami­ ly ot Barnet* but one widow and her .Jj^auddanghter, Hetty, a girl of 18. A lured man attended to the farm duties, ashad his father before him; he was faitfcfol, simple and stubbornly set • against all innovations. Hetty Barnet, the last of the name, ^MWOtmcg to her neighbors, "favored" tar father wonderfully, and the Barnet men had been remarkable for fine phy- aique, well developed, clean of blood and tall in stature. Hetty was a hand- aome girl, with a bright, wild-rose com­ plexion, clear brown eyes and a rich profusion of wavy chestnut hair. She moved with a serene young dignity, un­ ruffled by the stern exigencies of fate, • and looked out from under long lashes with a frank, innocent expression that "Was foreign to all modern coquetry. And yet the girl did not lack for ad- mirers, nor a pleasant consciousness of the powter to win them; nature in her changing color, her sweet red lips and the fluttering dimple in her rounded, healthy cheek did her coquetting for her, and many a wistful glance was east under the cherry boughs, where in the aummer time she was wont to sit. w "Grandmother!" she called one after- ^moon, as a dashing team ascended a not- / -distant hill; "grandmother! who do you 'think is coming up the road? It is the Widow Campbell's son. What a display 13be makes with his black horsea and Jtandsome carriage!" Old Mrs. Barnet put on her spec­ tacles, smoothed her calico apron, and •came out from among the beehives near "the garden gate. "Well, I declare to't, he does!" ex­ claimed the astonished old lady. "It's * new turnout as sure as I'm Mehitable Barnet 1 Before his father, Ebenezer Campbell, died he didn't know scarcely where to get his livin'. That's his Uncle John's money he's a-gallivatin' on now, Hetty, you may be sure of it." "Why, grandmother, John Jay hasn't | left him what's his own--yet." Hetty's f. mouth grew round as a puckered rose- Vj %ud. "He isn't dead."* jj/. "Dead, child! Nobody said he was, 80"1' to die, either, but everybody I!? . inows there ain't no possible chance of py--his marryin', and young Campbell is if dashin', I tell you, on his future chances. He ain't the kind to wait for a 'dead ^ ; man's shoes'; he's jest a-wearin' of 'em •while his uncle's a-livin'. He's the only Uikely heir, Hetty, to the big Jay prop- "But John Jay is not old, grand­ mother," returned the girl, vehemently. ""His hair may have turned a bit, but he is not an old man." "Not so old, as you say, Hetty, and *the old lady looked sharply over her apectacles at her granddaughter. /"But he has dandled you on his knee <ofn enough." Hetty blushed, and devoted herself to bar task of shelling peas, but Grand mother Barnet was diligently looking for insects on her favorite rosebush, and aaw nothing. "Yon see," .she continued, "there -was aome kind of talk, Hetty, about John's bavin' had a disappointment more'n ten r» ago. Leastways, it ain't known aver cared about any other woman, an' it atanda to reason, heVtold hiaj i "Why, Hetty, child, you can't have quite a spall about the time you first I came home front school. He used to sit evenings with your cousin Jim afore he went to Californy on feat unlucky business. You cant altogether have forgot John?* "Oh, no, grandmother," said Hetty, quietly, "I remember him very well." "An' how sudden be did take himself off! He scarcely come in to say good-by. I always wondered at that, because it wasn't his way, nohow. And Marthy Ames (that's his mother's second cousin) told aie the family hadn't heard a thing from him since he went. It's a queer proceeding. Sometimes, Hetty, I did use to think that--bless me if young Campbell ain't turned up the lane ana enmin' straight here, and me with my old cap on! You'll have to see him, child." And Hetty did "see him," aa she had done before. He tied hia horsa to a limb of an apple tree, and came in over the sunken, vine-colored stone wall, and sat down on the grass, leaning on his elbow, with Hetty's sweet, fresh face above, and in his bright young way made himself agreeable. Yet the girl could not ever quite bring herself to feel at ease with him, for with all his wihsome spontaneity of manner he seemed too conscious of himself and his surroundings that were all foreign to Hetty's. But he liked her, and nev­ er appeared to better advantage than when lie was striving to make himself acceptable to her. . "You will come some afternoon for a drive with me," he was spying, as Het­ ty admired the attractive turnout by the roadside. "Why not now, this lovely day?" he added, eagerly starting up. "It is splendid going, and we have three hours till dusk. We can go down the old mill road and get a look at the river." Hetty's young heart thrilled with in­ nocent anticipation. A drive behind such a team was a treat. But the prop­ osition was a novel one to a Barnet. They were a primitive people, and who­ ever married into the family was sure of getting a wife whose thoughts were fresh as the morning dew, and lipa as fragrant and pure as wild roses. To accept a "promiscuous" attention was unheard of. But this sudden tempta­ tion was over strong, and old Grand­ mother Barnet, proud of her Hetty's at­ tractions, made no serious objections, and so the young couple drove gayly away in the golden sunlight. How de­ lightful the drive was along the daisy- fringed country road, into a woodland path -where the spicy hemlock branches drifted across their faces, and up to a height that overlooked the sleepy, wind­ ing river! It was an episode in the mo­ notonous girl-life, and she surrendered herself to a keen enjoyment of it. * * Who do you think has been here, Hetty?" said her grandmother, as the girl appeared, with the first star at the door. "John Jay." Hettie drew a quick breath and the light died suddenly out of her eyes. "He asked most particularly for you, child, as soon as he came in, and I told him you'd gone off to drive with his nephew. I thought perhaps he'd be glad the young man wasn't with worse company." "And what did--he say, grandmoth­ er?" asked the girl slowly. "He said, 'Does she go often with him?'" "And you told him--" Hettie paused with a choking breathlessness. The old lady deliberately took out her glasses, rubbed them carefully on the corner of her apron, and then plac­ ing them on her nose, looked at her granddaughter reflectively as she re­ sponded : "Well, yes, child, I didn't see no reason for not telling him that John Campbell had been coming about here pretty regular." "Oh, grandmother!" cried Hettie with burning cheeks. "Well, I did say this was the first downright set attention afore folks. And t6ld him, child, there wa'nt to be fonnd nowhere a liklier girl than my Hetty, an' young Campbell might count himself powerful lucky to get you. The Barnets were always a particular set, and I've no objection to John Jay knowing it. He don't want to throw his property away, it ain't all likely, on a relation with a shiftless wife." "Grandmother!" cried Hetty, again; "oh, grandmother, you never toldhim that!" "Of course I did. The Barnets was always an outspoken family. John will have to settle the property onto some­ body. It may as well be your husband as-- Bless me, Hetty Barnet!" For the young girl broke suddenly into a passionate storm of sobs and tears. What on earth is the matter, child? You ain' got it in your head John Jay is is going to die, have you? He looks amazin' well and young, considerin'. Don't get notions--" Whatever ailed Hetty, she had disap- tared, and had hidden herself from ! ler loquacious grandmother behind the old sweep, near the lilac bushes. There she sat until the stars grew brighter through the purple night and the dew dampened the soft, disheveled hair that was already wet with tears. She heard the lonesome cry of the whip-poor-will from the distant meadow, and the call seemed to mock her own lousiness. "Hetty." The girl started up with a bounding heart and outstretched arms, to find them clasped in a pair of stronger ones She was trembling like the slim poplar in the corner of the yard, and only found breath to say: Yes, of course I am glad," and even to her own ears her voice sounded un natural and formal. Her fingers were slowly loosed from the warm grasp, and fell down cold and limp; the tall, bearded man at her side retreated, and paused to lean heavily against the well- curb. Then he said, in a voice well under control: "I am only in town for a few hours. I shall make another trip later to the Rocky Mountains. Hetty," he added, after a few moment's silence, "I believe I shall never come back again. It is the life that best suits me--this wander­ ing one--and who should care now ?" Hetty's heart throbbed hard. He was only corroborating what so many declared--that lie "never would marry, that desire for *a love and home was dead within him. She replied primly: , * • "Your sister will.miss yon,* ** "She 1 John Jay, hia 8 No hear the long, quiver- issued irom the strong ing " man's "Yea," he continued, "a roving life suits me after all. You are happy and satisfied, Hetty?" The apparently careless question made the girl's heart sink like lead. S"i the Snisisk;' lowed the way of their kind, and Hetty dare not cry out. She only said, be­ neath her breath: "Yes, happy. Our lives do not ohange." "Well, I am glad--glad," responded her companion, drearily, taking once again the girl's cold hand in his. "I can only hope you may ever be able to say so. In the ohange that must of ne­ cessity now oome to you, I wish you all joy and prosperity. Good-by, Hetty. I am going now, child. God keep you!" and the only man Hetty Barnet ever loved waa gone. * * * "I declare to't you're a queer girl, Hetty Barnet!" her grandmother said. The two old women sat as of old un­ der the apple boughs. The faoe of the elder was seamed with many new seams, and even with her glasses she could not see her granddaughter's face opposite, and her tremulous hands were useless for all earthly work. But to the end the sturdy race held their own men­ tally, and Mehitable Barnet was not an exception. "Why, queer, grandmother?1? re­ sponded Hetty, in her sweet, calm way. Because I do not intend to marry ? Am I not content with you? I could not bear to leave the dear old place to Strangers and neglect, as I should be obliged to if I married, and you would not wish to live elsewhere. I think I will always stay here." But Mrs. Barnet realized her own ap­ proaching end, and fretted constantly at leaving her granddaughter alone and unprotected. "Hetty, child," she said, querulously, "I always will wonder about young Campbell. He was desperately in love with you, and he was a good match. And then after John Jay deeded him his fine place, too--" "Don't, grandmother, please don't talk over the affair," pleaded Hetty. "It is so long past now. Ten years' ago. only think of it, and Mr. Campbell is married and has two children. I never loved him, grandmother. Would you have a Barnet marry for money or fam­ ily?" The old lady bridled with the dignity of her kind. "No, never, child. Yon are right. The Lord will watch over you." Hetty sighed softly and went on with her work. She had not changed much, this fair, healthsome woman; there was Spoop- endyke, rig££B î|l «prds. and idivid ftfo «T«n,.i>iles; "suppose ̂ raî Stilcgame olTwker. Do you kn<rtriioifeJ| play poker?" "I guesa ao,; MM§ed lira. Spoopen- dyke, hitching iijfwtac chair and dusting the top of the table with a towel. "Now,' how many cards do you want?" "Let me think,* fluttered Mrs. Spoopendyke. *I#t's see. I believe I'll take ten." "Better take a gross!" snorted. Mr. Spoopendyke, eying her wrathfully. "Perhaps you'd like half a barrel! Don't you know you can't draw but five ? If you've got any bad cards, throw 'em away and I'll give more for 'em. Do you want any to stand pat?" "I guess so," sighed Mrs. Spoopen­ dyke, helplessly. "If I stand pat do I play the eight or the queen?" "You don't play either," replied Mr. Spoopendyke, helping himself to five cards and drawing a couple kings. "Now, its my bet. I bet two; what do you bet?" "Then I bet two," answered Mrs. Spoopendyke^ brightening up as she began to see her way clear. "I bet a queen and eight," and she laid them down with confidence. "That calls my hand," said Mr. Spoopeedyke, gleefully, "only you don't bet your cards; you bet your checker. Put in two checkers and show your cards." Mrs. Spoopendyke shovedher check­ ers into the middle of the table and laid down three eights and a pair of queens. "Where'd you get 'em ?" roared Mr. Spoopendyke, recognizing his defeat. "What'd ye want to keep talking about the three of eights and the two of qtleens? Why didn't ye tell me you had a full hand ?" "You gave 'em to me," returned Mrs. Spoopendyke, dolefully. "I'only had those five ? What does it do ?" "It makes a jack pot!" growled Mr. Spoopendyke, seeing a chance for him­ self in his wife's utter ignorance of the game. "Now weVe each got to put in one checker, just because you played in that way." "I'm sorry, dear," cooed Mrs. Spoop­ endyke, rather pleased with the idea of getting out of the scrape at any ex­ pense. "And yet I might have known it would have made it a jack pop, if I had stopped to think!" "When you stop to think, you only want a stick of chewing-gum and a rat- trap to be a female seminary! Do you know what a jack pot is ? Got some kind of a notion that it has three legs and is used to cook mush in, haven't ye? Well, it isn't, and it isn't to sit there and grin at either! It takes a Ij.wfsk httkata, wen from ten to twenty feet • inwi deep, |iw-ahtt>ed and eovered with i the oCiIsi of lay leaves. At the elk and deer of the Heir sometimea tliey sharpened trol ^ colonize all the territory W fKnts and spears pomted up to receive viTginia and Canada. Whether Imwlw T dl!" from a commercial or a military point emboweled on first falling into the pit, of view, this noble region oceuped th* ""V most commanding poailion in Aortfc rJlT'llh for T51 * !vev mo3t 1 America. It is the part cfthe continent savage and supple beast, to .climb again j gends streams flowing in diver- W Iwf JLaUH d?rkn.f ? 1and ? ]™rr"' SeDt curses into the Gulf oT St. Law-rng death was the inevitable end. These . fence> the Atlantic ocean, and the Gulf pits, of course, made the land a terror, I o£ MexiCo. Though deep in the and it was not until as late as 1856 that this most lovely valley in all California was fairly possessed by settlers. Once in possession, the white man of course soon Alleghanies, which run irregularly across it, those superb rivers, the Hud­ son, Delaware, and Susquehanna, flow a calmer expression upon her brow, .nd j i .not infrequent look\>f Teaming W i thT' A S' ̂ neas in her eje8, tat she Vu »t2l the I !?d 1611 me whether yoa open it last "handsome Barnet." Much had come to pass to fret her. The faithful serving-man had been "gathered to his fathers," and matters, consequently, gone wrong on the unpro­ ductive farm. There was a mortgage, too, upon the place that threatened her with trouble, and Hetty had no one with whom she might discuss business matters, so entirely had she and her grandmother lived to themselves. But her love for the quaint old honse was as that of all her kindred, and she resolved in some way to live and die beneath its roof-tree. Day and night she turned the problem in her brain, and prayed for a speedy solution of it. Hetty had assisted her helpless grandmother to re­ tire, and then strolled down to her fav­ orite seat on the low wall under the wild cherry tree. A young moon curved its bow in the purple sky, the dew fell down like silver beads, and once again the lonely woman listened to the faint, far call of a whip-poor-will in the dis­ tant meadow. How the past returned to her! "At times," she whispered, aoftly, as memory broke within her past control, "I do believe John loved me. Why could I not have forgotten self, pride, shame, everything, and tried to under­ stand? So much seems clear to me now. But we Barnets were ever taught to suffer in silence--and so he went for ever. Ah! me! I wonder where he has been all these years ? He told me he should never come back, but I did not believe him. The giving up all he posessed to his nephew proved how mistaken I was--how right were all the rest. Ten years! How long! How long." Hetty pressed her hands over her eyes, and the hot tears trickled through her fingers. She brushed them vehem­ ently away. "He never intended to marry, I know it. Nor do L But it is a lonely life--a lonely life!" Plaintively came the cry of the bird. Hetty was alive with memories, and she startled. "Just so the bird cried Cut when he said 'good-by.'" Her head sank on her arm, and the shadowy night folded he* in sad rever- ies. "Hetty! Hetty!" Softly, tenderly the voice, out of the long ago, penetrated her dream of lost love. "John." A firm footstep sprang into the shad­ ow, strong arms lifted her out of it into the star-light, and Hetty knew the hour of her joy was come. "I have returned to find you!" cried her lover, triumphantly. "I dared not believe it until I saw yon here alone. My nephew is married, thank God, and you--you, my only love, are free, and mine! Neither riehes nor pride could tempt you. When I learned this, I dared to hope ray earlier dreams had not misled me. And you have always; loved me, Hetty?" "I do not think a Barnet. ever loves but once," said the happy woman, be­ tween smiles and tears. "But, you remember, your grand­ mother gave me to understand--" "Ah," interrupted Hetty, clasping her lover as though she might again lose him, "remember also that a Barnet never reveals her love unasked. Grand­ mother could not know the way of my heart." What plans the stars and leaves were witnesses to that night one cannot know, but Hetty made no delay to wed with her * first love, and the quaint house received another inmate. Still picturesque and moss-roofed, it stands beneath its gnarled old trees, and children's voices that call Hetty "mother" are heard merrily mocking the robins in the springtime. Peace, plenty and happiness dwell therein, and one is fain to say: "There is no love like the old love." or not!" Mrs. Spoopendyke examined her cards critically. % * "What have you got?" demanded Mr. Spoopendyke. His wife laid down four aces and a jack. Mr. Spoopendyke glanced at the hand and then at his own cards. His ace was only the joker, which he had forgotten to remove from the pack. "Which opens it?" inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, watching the gathering storm with some trepidation. "Nothing opens it!" yelled Mr. Spoopendyke, dashing his cards to the floor. "With your way of playing it, it would take a steam oyster knife to open it! How'd ye think it was opened--with a night-key? Got an idea that it had hinges, haven't ye, and opens widest when it has nothing to say, like your mouth?" "Must I bet my last cent now ?" fal­ tered Mrs. Spoopendyke, profoundly impressed with the idea that the game was still going on. "I've got $4, but I want one for wiggin. Shall I t$t the other three?" "Bet 'em!" howled Mr. Spoopendyke, who, like a great many men, regarded the idea of Ins wife beating him at any­ thing as something intolerably blasphe­ mous. "Why don't you bet? Bring forth the speculative $3 and hazard it on the four triumphant aces! Wah-h-h-h!" and the conclusion of Mr. Spoopendyke's speech flew out of him too fast for perfect enunciation. "I don't care," murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she wound the clock and stood scratching her nose with the key; "he told me that four aces were as good as the jack pot, and, when I opened it, he said I was wrong. An­ other time I'll put them in my pocket, and he can play away at that jack pot until he's bald before 111 help him get it openP* And, with this riotous determination, Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled into bed and dreamed that she had got caught in a jack pot with a spring lock to* it and couldn't get out because she had left the four aces in the pocket of her new plum-colored silk. San Francisco Cable Roads. I should consider the cable road one of the very foremost in the list of curi­ osities, though I have been able to re­ frain till now from bringing it forward. It is a peculiar kind of tramway* quite as useful on a level, but invented ex­ pressly for the purpose of overcoming steep elevations. Two cars, coupled together; are seen moving, at at. high rate of speed, without jar and in per­ fect safety, up and down all the extraor- dinary undulations of the grounds They have no horse, no steam,, no vestiges of machinery, no ostensible means of locomotion. The astonished comm'ent of the Chinaman, observing this marvel for the first time, old as it is, may be worth repeating once more for its quaint force: "Melican man's wagon, nopushee, no pullee; all same go topside hill like flashee." The solution of the mystery is in an endless wire cable hidden in a box in the road bed, and turning over a great wheel in an engine-house at the top of the hill. The foremost of the two cars is pro­ vided with a grip or pincers, running underneath it, through a continuous crevice in the same box as the cable, and managed by a conductor. When he wishes to go on he clutches the always-moving cable, and goes with it; if lie'wishes to stop, he simply lets go and puts on a brake. Fortunately there is no snow and ice in this climate to clog the central crerice, which, by the necessities of the case, must bi open. The system has been applied, however, with emendations, in Chicago. --W. JET. Bishop„ in Harper'a Mag­ azine. Some Odd Pits In California. The English spell the name of Pit river with an additional letter, as if 1 after the name of an eminent statesmen. But I think the above is right, as the name ia certainly derived from the deep Wouldn't Tell. The old squatter's spirit. A gentle­ man while driving along in a buggy came to a very muddy, not to say dan­ gerous, place in the road. Seeing an old man sitting on a fence, he called OUT: "My friend, I'm bothered her#.* ̂ ̂ "So am I." * i * "Well, then, we are in the same boat. What's the matter with you?" "Shot at a man." "Why does it bother " " 'Cause I didn't hit him." ! . ^ "Who was the man?" v.':-" "My son-in-law." "Why did you shoot at him?" " 'Cause I stole hia jug, aft' I shot to keep him from shootin'." "But, as I was saying, I am bothered here. I don't know which side of the road to take. I am afraid that my horse will mire down. Which is the best aide ?" "Blamed if I know." "Which side would yon take?" "The cheapest." * "Here, now, no fooling, I trant to know which side." i . . - "That's none of my business." The traveler, irritated up to the dan­ ger line, drew a pistol, leveled it at the man on the fence, and said: "Jump down and show me the best road, or Fll shoot the top of your head off." "Certainly, sir," he 4aid, "anything to oblige you. If I'd er knowed that you was in sich a earnest fit, I'd a told you early this mornin'. Why didn't you send a boy on ahead with one of these here telegraphic dispatches? You remind me of an old feller that lives over here at the bend. Nearly all of the boys says he's a good un. So you want to know the best side of the road here, and the beauty about the thing is that you are in earnest. It is only these earnest men that set the forks of the creek afire. Say, do you know Big Goose creek forks?" "Look here," again leveling the pis­ tol, "I want you to hurry up and show me the best side of the road. I don't want to ruin my horses and lose my buggy. It wouldn't take a minute to tell me." "Yes, I'm hurrying up," continuing to move around, "but you see a man's got to think these days. There was a time when a man what thought much wan't respected in the neighborhood, and that is the reason why the folks over my way didn't care so much for my society until lately. Let me see which side, now. 1 don't want to make a mistake. Well, sir, up where the Big Goose creek forks is where my father -used to fish, and when I was a boy I had the dingest fight there you ever seed, but good day," and, leaping the fence and keeping a tree between himself and the traveler, he ran away. All of this unnecessary work was done to keep from saying to the right or to the left of the road.--Arkansaw Traveler, *ne wnue man oi course mto the A^tic; while the Mohawk, x; ° ,an.<* marked the loca-. coming from the west, serveato join the ««i^ in^.8eCre K ?,n£* i7 g ~ valley of the Hudson with the great ually filled up as the fell Into disuse. LakeS. and in like manner the lively Juniata, rushing down to join the Sus­ quehanna, has its headwaters not far from the spot where the currents of the Alleghany and Monongahela unite to form the Ohio. With such pathways in every direction, whether for peace or for war, the New Netherlands (curious misnomer for a region so mountainous) commanded the continent; and could the Dutch settlement there have been adequately supported, it would have threatened or prevented the ascendency of England in the New World. It was no doubt largely owing to this advan­ tage of position that the League of the Iroquois had been enabled to domineer over the greater part of the country be­ tween the Atlantic and the Mississippi; and through the divergent river valleys and across the chain of nighty lakes these ferocious but long-headed barbar­ ians in their bark canoes established those lines of trade which modern civil­ ization, with its steamboat and railway, has simply adopted and improved. For a century after its conquest by the En­ glish, New York, with Western Pensyi- vama, served as a great military bul­ wark to England and to the Southern colonies. The hardest fighting done in the War of Independence was the strug­ gle for the possession of this vantage- ground; and in the second war with England the glorious victories of Perry and Macdonough maintained on Lakes Erie and Champlain the sanctity of the citadel of America. The colony thus founded by the Dutch in such an imperial position remained in their hands for just fifty years, and at the end of this period the1 population had reached about 8,000. The "city"" on Manhattan Island, lying entirely to- the south of the site of Canal street, girt with an earthen wall some ten feet in height, and numbering at that time some 1,500 inhabitants, had already ac­ quired cosmopolitan character which has ever since distinguished it. In the New Netherlands the Dutch maintained their national policy of unlimited tolera­ tion, and consequently in that cruel age of religious turmoil they drew settlers from all parts of Europe. There were OH that we had spent one day in this wld r - Kempi9 Life and Death in Nature. For some inscrutable reason, which she has yet given no hint of revealing, nature is wonderfully wasteful in the way of generation. She creates a thousand where she intends to make use of one. Impelled by instinct, the female cod casts millions of eggs upon the waters, expecting them to return after many days as troops of interest­ ing offspring. Instead, half of the em- bryotic gadi are almost immediately de­ voured by spawn-eaters, hundreds of thousands perish in incubation, hun­ dreds of thousands more succumb to the perils attending ichthyi infancy, leaving but a few score to attain adult usefulness, and pass an honorable old age, with the fragrance of a well-spent life in a country grocery. The oak showers down ten thousand acorns, each capable ofi producing a tree. Three-fourths of them are straightway diverted ftrom their arboreal intent, through conversion into food by the provident squirrel and improvident hog. Great numbers rot uselessly on the ground; and the few hundreds that finally succeed in germinating grow up in a dense' thicket, where at last the strongest smothers out all the rest,, like an oaken Othello in a harem of quer- cine Desdiemonas. This is the lhw of li£a, animal as well as vegetable. From the humble hyssop on the wall to the towering cedar- of Lebanon--from the meek andi lowly amoeba, which has no more character or individuality than any other pio-point of jelly, to the lordly tyrant, man, the rule is inevit­ able and invariable. Life iis sown broadcast, only to be followed almost immediately by a destruction almost as sweeping- Nature creates, by the million, apparently that she may de­ stroy by the myriad. She gives life one instant, only that she majr snatch it away the- next. The main difference is that the higher we ascend tdie less lav­ ish the creation, and the less sweeping the destruction. Thus, while probably but one fish in a thousand reaches ma­ turity, of every 1,000 children born 604 attain adult age. That is, nature flings aside 939 out of every 1,000 fishes aa useless, for her purposes, and two out of every five human beings.--Winni­ peg Times. k Spanking Tram. Johnny and Tommy were playing out in the street where there was much fast driving, and where they had beeo for­ bidden to go. "Hello," said Johnny, "there ceatee a apanking team." "Where'" replied Tommy. "Bight across, the street there; it's your mother and mine, and we'd better cut sticks and get out of this," which they did, with their mothers after --The Drummer. Hugui from! Frene Engli Quak said langu dam a tiers Algon found concil soon I of Oi Fiske e have the Deere Planter, also th ed froitt tt tfto* DjiU with of time. Pi ^ ed t&tttoVi' , "W. -ff IJ1J.II11IIIJII II Agricultural Society, was the open­ ing of a Massachusetta clergyman's prayer. AFTER theolargf had united ahappr pur, an awful Hlffioe ensued, which was broken by an iaaatient youth ex­ claiming, "Don't be* ao unspeakablv happy!" "I LIVE in Julia's ey«,"said«n affect­ ed dandy in Colman's hearing. "I don't wonder at it," replied George; "since I observed she had a sty in thism when I saw her last." AN old lady with several unmarried daughters feeds them on fiah diet ~ be­ cause it is rich in phosphorus,- and phosphorus is the essential tfiing ^ making matches. "AK!" moaned a widow recently be­ reaved, "what a misfortune! J? Icnow what kind of a husband I have lest, but how can I know what kind ol a husband his successor will be?" SAID Mrs. Gallagher: "1 think it i» wrong to make these soda fountains so shiny, white, and dazzling. They never trouble mey but I've observed that my husband can never look at one without winking." WHEN a young matt in Petagoniia wants a wife he rides out and lassoes one, but in this country when a girl wants a husband and her fellow doesn'fc come to time, the lass-sues him foir breach of promise. A OENT%EMi» was talking to th* owner of a ferocious bulldog, and asked him the question, "Do you think your* dog could become fond of a stranger?"' "Yes," replied the dog fancier, "if he was raw; but he-wouldn tif the stranger was cook." "LOOK here, bey," said a stern Austin parent, "you are telling me a falsehood right now. I cato read it in your face." "It must be some falsehood I told you last week, pa. You know you can't read, anyhow, without your spectacles."-- Texas Siftings. "You have been executed in effigy* down at the hotel,,"said a man totne Goveror of Arkansaw. "The deuce you say,'" exclaimed the Governor in a rage, "I'll go down and see about the infernal transactions." When he went to the hotel he found that his picture bwd been hung in the pazkur.--Arkansaio Frmeler. "How DID you ever- come to run for the' Legislature, anyhow?" asked Charles O'Bean of Myer Hudgins, a newly-elected member of the Missouri Legislature,vand who • i» visiting Austin for his health. "I did it to bring dis­ grace on my uncle. He treated me badly when I was at boy, and I took a fearful vow I would humiliate him, and I have done it." "What business is your uncle engaged in?'" "He is making shoes in the Ohio Penitentiary."--Texas Siftings. "LOOK here," said, the Governor to a ate official, "when are you going e that ten dollars f "Upon my IGovernor, I don't know." "Why, other day when I mentioned the our indebtedness,, you asked me would be Tuesday." "Yes, sir." wasn't that a promise that you [pay me Tuesday?" "No, sir." then, did you want to know would be Tuesday?" "Because d' to know where you'd be, so I ake arrangements to be soiae- >s9."--Arkansaw Traveler. OK, your Honor!"exclaimed a ~et in one of his eccentric per­ is not like the fabulated , 8am e McCormick Iron Mower. To ma San ><] old adage, but to make hay at a I °* °1<1, whose eyes were "Irmick ha* iio equal. We also hauj"?,1"'the ®a°ds,of th? seft'nor p the famed Cyclops whose eyes Jited only the arena of coming ruiuiify, but like the sportive demon- first w ance | GreaJ • ITHTVI MM um .nL oniesf He drew up the famous peti­ tion of the General Court of Boston to the King, in 1764, against taxation on trade.. He was elected a Represent­ ative in the Massachusetts House of Bepresentatives in 1765, was chosen Clerk,, and served in that body ten years.. It is said that he was the first to suggest the congress of colonial delegates that assembled in New York in 1765, and was the father of the non­ importation agreement of 1789, intended: to check the use of British manufact­ ures and other foreign imports and foster- home manufactures and, still more, a spirit of independence. He was Chairman of the committee that waited on the royal Governor and Council in 1770, on the day after the Boston riot and massacre, and de­ manded the removal of the troops.. He was one of the signers of the declara­ tion o£ independence; was one of those who- matured the plan of the Con­ tinental Congress, to which he was a delegate from Massachusetts from 1774 to 1782, and signed the articles of con­ federation, which were the constitution of the country until replaced by the present Federal constitution. He was the Lieutenant Governor of Massachu­ setts from 1789 to 1794, and Governor front 1794 to 1797. He was born in [Boston Sept. 27, 1722, graduated at Harvard in 1740, and died in Boston Oct.. 2,. 1803.--Chicago Inter Ocean. Meat Canning. , Such is the demand for fitesh meat abroad, as well as among the mines, frontier settlements - and even on ship­ board, that various devices are em­ ployed for furnishing a supply In Chi­ cago,. for instance, the business of can­ ning fresh meats has become a great in-- dustry. The number of; cattle thus disposed of in Chicago alone was larger during 1882 than for any previous year, the aggregate taken by focal canners running up to something,' like 300,000 heads. Not all of the carcass, however, goes into cans. The loins and the entire hindquarters of the best of their pur­ chases are reserved for-the local retail batchers, many of whom depend almost wholly upon the canners for their sup­ ply of beef. The canning establish­ ments furnish an outlet for immense numbers of low-grade cattle that other­ wise would be practically unsalable, for of the number annually put up in cans there, probably not to> exceed 10 per cent, are good enough tosend East on the heof. A TearJkrunkardl The term "tea-drunkard" is known throughout Russia and implies, not the abuse of robur or any spirit distilled from the herb, but that the e«p< which cheers intoxicates also, jf zealously ad­ hered to. Strong tea is well known to be a powerful though feeting excitant of the nervous system ; and if th© reader likes to make the experiment, let him drink a dozen or fifteen oups of tea in the Russian style--that is, without stration of 'blind man's buff.' She pur­ sues her way unseeing and unseen, holding the steel-yards that weigh with coeval vicissitudes the oerats of gold and the carrots of horticulture, and knowing no north, no south, no eastern* west!"--Rome Sentinel!. SOME of the apothecaries in New York city contemplate forming a league i cream or sugar but flavared with a drop to oppose the sale of patent medicine*. 1 of lemon-juice WHEN credulity comes from the heart it does w liixm to the iOeUect. --JoubarL •in the space of a oouple of hours, and he mayarrive at the con­ clusion that there is something rational about such an epithet aa tea-drunkard after ail,--Chambers1 Journal, * ASi Man, a Boy andi Three Bears. While looking for cattle in the ber hills at the head of the Matilija, Ventura county, Call, Senor Ramon Ortega and his little son were attacked by three l&rge bears.. Ortega jumped from-his horse, whiohtran off about 100 yards, and stopped. Ostega killed the biggest bear at the first shot, and quick­ ly silenced another, while the third took to the woods. Ortega's; boy then went on foot to >bring back, the horse, but be­ fore he reached the animal a bear over­ took him. As soon as the bear saw the boy he rushed at him, and the boy waa too-frightened to do anything but stand still and oall to his father to save him. Ortega seized his rifle and fired just aa the-bear had risen on his haunches to • strike the boy; the bullet knocked the bear down, but he rose and again rushed. at the boy, the blood streaming from a bullet hole in his side, and this time he- rushed at the fear-paralyzed boy with bloodshot eyes and foaming, open, mouth. With a despairing cry "He's, got me,, father!"' the* frightened boy sank to>the ground;, and the desperate> father sent a second bullet from his re­ peating rifle crashing into the bear. With an almost huinuoi cry of agony the- savage brute fell backward and rolled*• down the hilL. Maple Sugar Made from Glucose*. There are factories where hogpe. maple sirup is put up in a way that ia> calculated: to. (Deceive any one, The< great demand for sirup early it the. season has led to. the manufacture from glucose, licoriee and old maplfe sugav- of an article, that » fair in appearance- but bad in taste ̂and deleterious in: its. effects upon the system. These factoiiea> put their product up in gallon juga generally, as. that appears more counfaqr- like. They obtain from the nearest grain elevator a supply ofr corn aebs» and put in each jug. The wonk of deception is. completed by scattering g^ass seed upon the jug and obtaining some farm ng and a fellow in the garb ef a fanner to peddle the puodact throughout the city. When people boy in this way they are certain tfca& vlbet they are getting is goed and oountey- maae.--Cleveland Leader. A VBRU in an Eastern scientific paper has an exhaustive article on Why a Man Can't.Fly" He probably never had the girl's father tiptoeing downstairs at 1:30 in the morning. The man who can't fly ia loafed ** THE true grandeur of humanity is fe moral elevation, sustained, enlightened and decorated by the intellect of mn, -->(7. Sumner. THE hearts of men are their booka .̂ eventa are their tutors; great actiQQA are their eloquence.--ifacau<av% i V • "•^1 ifc, Shi. ilwS- «•« '.-cfeikC v ' tafc*£*. ft,. t Avilfi..