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- *-<•; - ; Jfc ttoMKJri* WtHUU.lsT jursrdor tf^SSlS ̂*** ' O ' V- .>' ^ • ; .,.. t - 4 ~ " , " - • ' - - * *# -T i^Y «V ft-** "** • that I met with first Mjr teste with terms would crai "Don't. DMtke thyroid musqle ao; ttat ftwantfc* atophiagmr He nsod to spin wide my jaSi"'1"' And to my windpipe groi* With little mirrors sit on'wires, Car.cxi a laryngoscope. Ibr second teacher said my Bad been quite ftlMlT trt That "registers" were simpl •ad mast be set aside. A third one told me that my voioe Was built for second bass, * ~^IZ.. Aad if I iroi It would it it "focnssed" ri^ht improve apac. Another told me that my breath lfnst near the armpits play; The next one said the force of tone Within the membranes lay. t ; i With vocal cords and diaphragm And citro-thj roid bone . •>. I was besoming mystified, •If..' Andconid not give a tone* i ' At last I met a teacher gruff ^ "•» t Who made mv heart i«jowR-ft-'-','--*v.i*£.U He heard me through quite patiently, • „ > f •••'•% Then said, "Vou have no voice." * Wy "*«pV««<c Sol-Fa Repartee. % " *' FAITHFUL AND TBS. G • A r (other's Touching Storjr of Her Boy. w |k ̂l*ro*,botIlaiddown mr knitting IMputmy arm around liim; and ho looked into mv face with something in his eyes that I never for got. "We were getting along then. The little house and garden were almost paid for, and we thought that nowhere in the world were happier people than we, or a brighter, cosier home. My husband and I were always talking of this and that to be done for Jaok as soon as the last payment should be made. Bat before the money was due, my husband came home sick one day. " 'Don't be frightened, Mary,' he said, 'I shall be better to-morrow.* * "But he only grew worse next day, many days we thought he must die. Yet he rallied after a time --though he kept his hacking cough--and sat up and moved about the house, and at last thought himself strong enough to take his place again. But that was too much, for at the end of the first week he came home and fell fainting on the threshold. " 'It's of no use, Mary,' he said, after he eame to himself. 'I can't run the engine, and if I could, it isn't right for people's lives to be trusted to such weak hands a? mine!' "He never did any regular work after that, though he lived for a year. "Consumption is a terrible disease, , sir! To see one you Mould give your Yes, that is my son-'--my j heart's blood to save slipping, slipping ' away before your eyes, and you helpless to hold him back for so much as a hair's •/WH "The young man you met at the ;; gate, air? ~ I ooy Jack. "You noticed the sews on his face, sir, aud thought, may be, that they S. , spoiled features meant to be handsome? (;i , "Ah, sir I that was because you did 00t know! Why, those red marks «M«.1C <» biin more beautiful to me now ttn when, a baby in my arms, with fellow curls and laughing eyes and a flan like a rose-leaf, the people hurry­ ing in and out of the trains Would turn tolc perche &6 be) $Bgto Pit; t'4-' • >1 ' 1-V-. > ook and smile at him, and praise him to each other, speaking low, may fee, but not too low for a mother's fuick, proud ears to hear. "For we lived in a little house close t>y the station, anil when I heard the Whistle of his father's train, I used (W snatch the boy from his cradle, or off the floor, where- he sat with his lit­ tle playthings, and run down to the farther end of the long depot, where the engine always halted, to get the •smile and loving word that my heart tired on all day. ' "Not the least bit afraid was the t»by of all the whistling and clanging of bells, and groaning of the wheels and pulling of the steam. He would laugh and spring so in my arms that I could scarcely hold him, till his father would reach down sometimes and lift him up in the engine cab and kiss him for one precious moment, and then toss turn down to me again. "When he grew a little older, he was never playing horse or soldiers, like the •ther little fellows around; it was always ft railroad train that he was driving. All the smoothest strips out of my bil­ lets of kindling-wood went to build tracks over the kitchen floor, hither and thither, crossing and recrossing each other. ^ 'Don't move my switch, mother, gear!' he used to cry out to me. 'You'll Wreck my train, for sure!' "So I had to go softly about my Work, with scarce a place sometimes to •et my foot. And all the chaii'3 in the house would be ranged for cars, the big cocker, with the tea-bell tied to its back, lor the engine; and there he would sit relied up by the hour together, m&k- believe attend the valves and shout- the fireman. I shall never forget •he first time 'Bis father took him to ride on the en- Jack had begged Over and over to go, but his father always bade him to wait till he was olderT So I had •aid: " 'Don't tease father any more, Jack, dear!' and like the true little heart ha "Was,, he had not said another word tabout it for a matter of six months or tmore. < "But that day such a wishful look game into his face, and he polled him- •Slf up tall and straight, and^ said quit9 aoftly, his voice trembling a little, ^Father, do you think I am grown «nough now?' "Looking at him, I saw two tear$ in bis pretty eyes. I think his fafher saw them, too, for he turned to me in a Wtirry, and said he: > " 'We meet the up train at Langton, Mary aud Will Brown will bring the little chap back all fctraight, I know. What do you say?' f "What could I say but yes? At sup- -aer-time he was back again, but he 'vlrald not eat. His eyes were like stars, and there was a hot, red spot on each ejbeek, so that I feared he would be ill. I had thonght he would never be talking, but now he said scarce a Word. I-.A " 'What was it like, Jackie?' I asked llim. i. >m " 'Oh, Another!' ho said, 'it wasn't like Wbything? He sat for a minute think- then he said, 'nnlesA it was like-- that you read last Sunday.' " 'And tfhat was that, Jack?' I asked, 3|or I had quite forgotten. i £ " 'Don't you know, mother? "The ings of the wind!"' "That was not his last ride on the gine by many times, for, as he grew lder, his father would take him on turdays, or other half-holidays. He t Was perfectly trusty and obedient. I # > .Relieve he would have his right hand #ut off sooner than have meddled with ^ny thing; but he knew every valve and ew and gauge, and watched every urn of his lather's hand, and learned .he signals all along the line, so that y husband said to me more than once: 'I believe in my heart, Mary, that | iaf I was to be struck dead on the ' |engine, Jack oould run her through Mhrithout a break!" had liap- breadth from the black gulf of death; ah, sir! I trust you have never learned how hard it is! "Young as he was, Jack was my stay and comfort through the dark time. My husbaud had matters in his mind that he longed to speak to me about, but I always put him off. for I (dould not bear to listen to anything like his going away from us. "But at last, the very day before the end cyme, as I sat by his side, holding his hand in mine, he said, very gently but firmly: 'Mary, wife, I think you must let me speak to you to-day!' "I fell to crying as if my heart would break, and he drew a pitiful sigh that went like a sword through my breast; yet I could not stop the sobs. Then Jack rose up from the little stool, where he had sat so quietly that I had almost forgotton that he was there, aud came and touched me. " 'Mother! dear mother!' he said; and as I looked I saw his face perfect­ ly white, but there were no tears in his eyes. " 'Mother!' 4ie said again, 'please go away for a little while. I can hear what father wants to say.' "You will think me cowardly, sir, but I did as the child bade me. I left the door ajar and I could hear my hus­ band's weak voice, though I could not understand the words, and then my brave boy's answers, clear and low, not a break or a'tremble in the sweet voice. And at last Jack said: 'Is that all, dear father?' and 'Yes, I will be sure to remember it--every word!' "After it was all over and we had time to look about us, we found some debts left and very little money. It was a hard thing for me, that had had for so long a strong, loving arm between me and every care, to have to think and plan how to make ends meet, when I could not even start evenly at the be­ ginning. Bat Jack came to my heip again. " 'Father said you were never to work hard, dear mother, because you were not strong, but I must take care of you in some way. He thought you coald let out two or three rooms to lodgers, may be, and that the best tiling for me just now to get a train-boy's place. He said the men on our road would be sure to give me a chance for his sake.' "I do not know that I had smiled be­ fore since his father died, but when I heard him say 'our road' in that little proud tone he had, I caught him to my heart and laughed and cried together. " 'And I spoke to Mr. Withers abuot it only yesterday,' he went on, 'and he said that Tom Gray is going to leave and I can have his chance,, and begin next weeek, if I like. What do you say, dear mother. " ' Oh, Jack!' I said, ' how can I get through the long, lonesome days with­ out you? And if anything should hap­ pen to you, I should die!' " ' Don't mother,' he said, gentlv, for the tears were in my eyes again, feut I would not heed him. " And you to give up your school!' I cried. 'And all pur plans for you to come to naught!' " 'Father thought of that, too,' he answered. ' But he said that the whole world belonged to the man that was faithful and true. And I promised him You can trust me, mother.' "Trust him? Ah, yes! he had struck the right chord at last, and I lifted my head and dried my tears. Whatever unseen dangers I might fear for my boy would be of the body, not of the soul. 'Faithful and truel' I thanked Ood and took courage. "It was wonderful how he succeeded with the. books aud papers and the other things he sold. There was something in him that made him a favorite with everybody. I have been told by more than one that the sight of his frank, handsome face was like sunshine, and that people bought of him whether they wanted anything or not. "Well, the years went "by and he grew up, working his way from one po­ sition to another on the road--trusted everywhere. He was my own boy still, though he was so tall and strong, with his bright curls turned chestnut-brown, and a silken fringe shading the lips that kept their old, ldving kisses for me alone. "An awfiil thing had happened! The gneat connecting-rod of the engine- wheel on the right of the engine broke. Jack seemed to live all his life over in that "one terrible instant when he saw the end of the rod swing upward. It struck the cab under him and dashed it into a thousand pieces, and he knew no more till a horrible agony awoke him where he had fallen senseless on the engine. "Burned, and almost blind, with the flesh scalded, and torn from his hands, he remembered his engine, with it open throttle, leaping on to certain destruc­ tion. He seemed to see the passengers inside the long train, as so many times in the old days he had called the morn­ ing papers. "He knew how they looked and what they were doing--the men reading, smoking, talking of the election, the price of grain, or how stock went up last week; women, with. crowing, dim­ pled babies in their arms; little children crowding to the windows, vainly trying to count the whizzing telegraph poles; young, happy couples going on wedding journeys maybe, and others ooming home who had been long away. "He remembered that, as he hurried to his place at the front that day, a lit­ tle girl with a cloud of golden hair leaned from a car window, to give one more good-by kiss to her father on the platform. Take good care of mamma, darling!" he had heard the gentleman say. "The fireman--no coward, either, was Tim Harbrook, but with wife iind babes at home--let himself down from the tender and escaped. So might mv Jack have done. But he crept along the side of the leaping engine, carefully and painfully he swung himself into his place, and with every motion of his lianas an untold agony, he reversed the engine and put on the air-brake. Then the train stopped, snatched back from the pit's month, and they took my boy from his post--* faithful and true!' "It was a long time before Jack's burns were healed. The road people came often to see him--no men could have been kinder--and every week his wages came in full. "But one evening, after he had begun to get Out a little, one of his mates came in. 'Come, Jack, old fellow, you'll be moped to death here! he said. ' You wont a change. There's a big meeting of the roadfolks over at the hall to-night. I'm just on my way. Come along!' "'What sort of a meeting?' said Jack. " 'Oh, I can't say exactly--something interesting, they told me, and every­ body invited.' "He stole a queer look at me, and 1 knew he wanted me to help him. So, as I really thought it might do Jack good, I said: 'Yes, Jack, go along with Tom.' ' But I'm not presentable with this face!' said Jack. " ' Pshaw, man! it's evening, and no- body'll notice. Leastways, they needn't!' With a little more coaxing, Jack set off with hiiri. I had hardly heard the gate click, when the door opened again, and Jenny Brown came in like a sprite. " ' Quick, quick, Mrs. Burton! Put on your bonnet,' she whispered. * Where? What do you mean?' I said, for I was frightened. "'To the meeting! Hurry, or we shall be late!' ' " "She was tying my bonnet-string3 under my chin as she spoke, and site had the house-door locked and me down the garden path and out of the back-gate, fairly without my'will. She hurried me acroes the square and pushed me through the crowd around the hall entrance. "I was out of breath with nervous­ ness and fast walking, so we sat down in a back seat. The room was full. and the Tenr Mbdants on the chanda lien clashed fewither. "But he wools not take th* money-- then nor afterward. " 'It is not ours! What can we do with it ? We cannot throw it away!' the Superintendent said. "Til tell you then, sir,' said Jaok, at last. 'Brakeman Jim Flaherty was killed last week. He has Mleft a sick wife and six little children dive the money to them!' i ^ i "And so they did. "Now you know, sir, what the scars on my boy's face mean to me. I read in the red marks, 'Faithful and true!' and I would not have them ohanged for the coat of arms of any King on any throne!" , PRESIDENTS THAT WERE SEEN. Johnson, h < *4- % y'V/ 4 J. " y'tl He was in school and learning fast, but out of hours he was always studying .j -over books about machinery and steam. Such an odd child as he was, with si' an oaa cnutt as ne was, , ^/thoughts far beyond his years! Some- * times, sitting here by myself, I go over 'life'j'3: m7 uund the strange things he used ^^ nie iu those days. * "I remember that one evening he had J>een reading for a long time in some | book that he had got out of the public i . library; but by-and-by he stopped and if 4".leaned his head on his hand, looking ; > , into the coals. All at once : • : ^ ? " 'Mother,' said he, 'isn't it a wonder- ; ful thing that God could trust men with tfL > it?' ' •> " 'With what, Jack?* " 'With the steam--the power in it, I , ' mean! It was a long time before W ' did. But when the right time came and, j ; somebody listened, then he told.' '%< j| " 'Oh, mother!' said he, with his eyes .. t shining, 'what must have it been to* be y" James Watt, and to listen to such a se­ cret as tlavt ?' "In a minute he spoke again. * 'And it's never safe to forget to lis­ ten, becauce we can't know when he night apeak, or what there might be to »» 1-6 V JFV" • • IX »«<>• &V-- "1 oould not answer him for a chok- "It was not veiy long until he had the place of engineer, which he had wanted so long. He had a day off, and was doing some little things for me about the house and garden, when one of the depot hands came running up the path, calling for him. " 'Mr. Harding wants von instantly, Jack!'cried the man. "the Jersey ex­ press should have left the depot five minutes ago, and the engineer has just fallen down in a fit. Curtis and Fitch are both off on leave, and Mr. Harding says there's nobody left but you that he'll trust with the train.' " 'I!' cried Jack in amaze. 'The Jer­ sey express! And I never drove any­ thing but a freight-train!' " 'Well! well!' cried the man, impa­ tiently, 'don't stop to argue 1 Orders is orders, and here's a minute and a half gone already!' "Jack seemed to come to himself at that. He darted one smile at me, and was off like a shot, drawing on his coat as lie ran. In less time than I take in telling it, I heard the signal of the out­ going train, and knew that my boy was trusted with a task that was used to be given only tp the most intelligent and careful men in the service. » "They brought him back to me that night, sir, and laid him on his father's bed{ and, by piece-meal, then and There were a great many ladies there, and on the platform sat the Superin­ tendent and several of the Directors of the road. Everybody seemed to be whispering and smiling and looking backward toward the door, and I looked, too, though I didn't know why. "Then the door opened and Jack came in -with Tom. I heard somebody on the other side of me whisper, 'That's he!' and another and another, and a rustle crept through the place, and then, all at once, such a cheer went up as, I can truly say, I never heard in all my life before--no, not even when the troops came home from the war. The people stood up, and the ladies waved their white handkerchiefs. " 'The Superintendent tried to speak, and rapped on his little table, but all in vain, until the crowd had *had their three times three. And through it all I watched my boy. He looked around him, dazed at first by all the tumult, and trying to know what it meant; but wherever he might turn his eyes he met a hundred others smiling on him, and a score of hands stretched out to him as he passed, and, all at once--he knew! "Oh, sir, I cannot tell you about it! i How they carried him up to the front, though not on the platform--there he would not go--how they found me out and made me sit beside him; how there were speeches and hand-shaking and laughing and crying. "And, at last, the Superintendent said that there was a little child there, the granddaughter of the President of the road, who had been with her mother on the train that day, and that she bad been selected by many grateful friends to present a little token to the man whose faithfnl courage had saved so many lives. "Then a beautiful lady, in soft rust­ ling silk, came up the /lisle, lending the loveliest child I ever saw, with a great glory of golden hair around her head, like the picture of an angel. I feljb Jack start, for it was the very child whose face had come to him in that awful moment on the flying engine. "The lit&e thing let go her mother's hand as she came near, looking up, with shy blue eyes, and in her small fingers was a purse of gold. You cou^l see the great coins shining through the silk netting. She held it up to him, and all the room was still as death. I heard one great sob rise in my boy's throat, and then he lifted the girl in his arms, and stood up, holding her straight and tall. "But he did not take the purse. 'No, darling!' he said in a low, tender voice, so clear that everybody heard. Then he kissed her, and lifted one long curl from her neck. "'This is the only gold I want!'he sud, and looked at the child's mother with a question in his eyes. ~ "The lady nodded, and my boy took out a little pair of scissors from his vest-pocket, and cut the curl off gently, and put it carefully away. "And, sir, if they had cheered before what was it now ? The arched ceiling rang, the gas-jets flared and flickered; Jackson, Harrison, Lincoln, Grant, et nL Ther? are, says a writer in an Eastern paper, those wno have a recollection of Gen. Jackson on Pennsylvania avenue; more who have a distinct recollection of Mr, Van Buren, who, though not a man of the people, was by no means a stranger to Washington's great thoroughfare; of Harrison, whose period was so brief that he hardly had time to more than pass from the Capi­ tol to the White House on inauguration day; of Tyler, whose presence there both as United States Senator and President was familiar to all Washing­ ton; of Mr. Polk, who, as Speaker of the House of Representatives and Presi­ dent, was knowh to nearly the whole of the population who knew any of the public men of his day; of Gen. Taylor, who, as he walked through the avenue with his hands locked behind him and the air of a soldier, was at once the ob­ served of all without seeming to know it; of Mr. Fil more, w hose fine presence, both before and after he became the tenant of the White House, was a con­ spicuous object whenever lie appeared, as he did quite often, on the avenue; of Gen. Pierce, who was almost a Wasli- ingtonian himself and a favorite, as was evident whenever he took his accustom­ ed walk on Washington's principal street; of Mr. 'Buchanan, whose long residence at the capital made him a stranger nowhere. Of Mr. Lincoln there is a lively recol-: lection. He was often seen,on Pennsyl­ vania avenue. Many of the citizens knew him when he was a member of Congress, and he was not wholly a stranger, even in the troublous times ushered in by his election. Mr. Lincoln sought occasional respite from cares on the avenue. It was not an unusual thing to see him coming from the White Honse in quest of the "quarters" of a Senator or other public man or friend whose counsel or sooiety he did not hesitate to seek when he felt it desir­ able. Mr. Lincoln was not a man of ceremony. „To the people in general his presence was as well known as almost any citizen's. Occasionally he would be found in the market-place in conver­ sation with marketinen, gardeners and dealers. The women there all knew him, and there is no knowing how many youths, since grown to manhood, re­ member the kind, cheerful words ad­ dressed to them on these visits. Mr. Lincoln possessed the talent to remem­ ber faces, names and circumstances. Andrew Johnson was widely known in Washington before he tenanted the White House* He was always fond of mingling with the people, of going about where .other people went and doing pretty much as other people did. A thorough Democrat--or "plebeian," as he said on a memorable occasion--he carried out the idea in his public life. Gen. Grant, while he was President, was known to a greater part of the citi­ zens of Washington than any of his pre­ decessors. His life there was especially marked by the extent and freedom of his intercourse with the community as one of them. He seldom comes to Washington but he makes his appear­ ance on Pennsylvania avenue, where when he was President he was known to the mass of the people. Grant, like Lincoln, is a good recollector. When he was President he went among the people even more than Lincoln. If occasion required he c6u!d "talk horse" with those who, like himself, loved a fine animal. Fond of driving, he drove a good deal. Grant likes Washington and misses no opportunity to say so. Washingtonians like Grant and it is probable that he never goes away from his visits to the capital doubting it. Mr. Hayes was democratically in­ clined. He sought the avenue often and was well known to Washingtonians in general. Hayes had a fancy for sauntering along the avenue, looking at what was to be seen, and joining freely in conversation with people in general. Gen. Arthur is almost a total stran­ ger to Washingtonians outside of the highest official and the exclusive social circle, concerning what little is known except from reports as from a far-off country. Gen. Arthur is seldom seen in public. The idea prevails to some extent that he actually seeks to exclude himself and avoid popular contact. Persons who have the opportunity of knowing declare that this is not entirely true and that the observation does him injustice. Gen. Arthur has peculiar ideas of what is requisite to maintain the proper dignity of his station. This is a strong point with him. AND OOOTtT WOOPS. •tomtomr la their Cw-Ban Wood* Cwk la Shocts m Thin mm Ttenw-Pifw ' [From the Cincinnati Knqulrer.J In olden times bedsteads, doors Mid other furniture were made of solid rose­ wood, mahogany or whatever the va­ riety might be, while now the more common kinds of wood are veneered with the more expensive and beautiful woods. In this way the same outward appearance is gained at a much less cost, and furniture is apparently made out of woods which are not obtainable in sizes sufficiently large to make solid pieces of furniture. At first the veneers were sawed, but this method, as the woods increased in value, caused so much waste that machinery was in­ vented for the special purpose of making veneers with the least possible loss. A veneer-mill in operation is a curious sight. The machinery is ponderous and seemingly unwieldy, but it works with the utmost precision and nicety, not varying a fraction of an inch even when carrying a load of 6,000 pounds. «To carry such weights the machinery is necessarily massive, but moves with the exactness of a printing-press. The wood, before being taken to the mills, is put in the sweat-room or steam-box, where it is subjected to the action of steam until it becomes soft and offers less resistance to the knife. The time taken in the process varies, according to the solidity and firmness of the wood, from six to twenty-four hours. After having been thoroughly per­ meated with steam it is firmly fastened to a part of the machinery, which re­ volves about a razor-like knife that is utterly immovable. Unless the wood has been steamed it is impossible to shave it into as thin sheets as desired, for if it were hard and dry the sheets would be brittle and unfit for use. The knife can be set so that sheets of any thickness may be shaved off. With one of these machines wood can be cut into sheets as thin as tissue-paper, but when so thin they are not of much val­ ue, as the glue with which they are fastened to other goods shows through, and if used they must be backed with paper. As many as 150 sheets have been cut from an inch of wood, but for common purposes the veneers run about fifty to the inch. Another ad­ vantage in this invention, other than the economy of material, is the increase in the size of the sheets when shaved over those that are sawed. The steamed sheet is about four times the size of the others, because it is taken from the en­ tire circumference, while, if a saw is used, nothing can be obtained but a transverse section. Wood known as French walnut is the most valuable for veneers. It has, however, no claim to the name walnut, and is only termed French because large quantities of it are exported from Marseilles to this country. This wood grows in Persia, Circassia and Asia Minor, and is becoming very rare. It is only seen in the most costly furniture, and great care is taken to prevent its waste. The grain of this wood is very peculiar, and presents twists and fig­ ures of the most fantastic and beautiful designs, looking in many cases like mo­ saics. There is no other wood which presents to the eye such pleasing con­ trasts and shades of color. Next to French walnut, rosewood or mahogany is probably the most valu­ able. Large quantities of these woods are, cut into veneers, and fine pieces often bring as high prices as .Frensh walnut Ebony is a very valuable wood; but, owing to its extreme hardness, is seldom sent to'the veneer-mill. Economy has become necessary also in the use of our native woodsrand burls of white and black walnut, ash, maple and cherry are in much demand. The use of black walnut as a veneer is in its infancy, but the wood has become so scarce that it is now stretched as far as possible. Poplar, ash and oak are commonly veneered with walnut and other more expensive woods, in the manufacture of all kinds of furniture. Rosewood veneer is used largely on billiard-tables and pianorboxes. Much veneering is now used in the interior decorations of fine houses and in giving a hard finish to railroad cars. Chair-seats, car-seats, brush-backs, tele-plione-boxes, cigar- boxes, sewing-machines, cases and many other things which come under the eye are only imitations of what they appear to be. Business cards have been printed on veneer, and it has also been used as wall-paper. From the finest French walnut burls veneers have been cut which none but an expert could dis­ tinguish from hand-painting. Table- covers are usually made of these. They range in price from $25 to many hun­ dreds, and can be made as expensive as the purchaser wishes. A Yanderbilt Story. The following anecdote is told of the late Commodore Yanderbilt: At Sara­ toga, 6n one oocasion, when sitting on the piazza of a hotel, a somewhat-over­ dressed lady approached and claimed his acquaintance. The Commodore rose and talked affably witK her, while his wife and daughter sniffed the air with scorn. "Father," said the young lady, "didn't you remember that vulgar Mrs. B- as the woman who sold poultry to us at homo?" "Certainly," responded the old gentleman promptly, "and I remember your mother when she used to sell root beer at 3 cents a glass over in Jersey, when I went up there from Staten Island peddling oys­ ters out of my boat." As this homely reply was heard by a group surround­ ing the family, there was no further attempt at aristocratic airs on the part of the ladies during that season. Mlchigander. \ "Michigander" has become something like a received and an established word. We believe it first came into use in 1848, and then it was given to Gen. Cass, the Democratic candidate for the Presidency, by one of the supporters of Mr. Van Buren, wlx> was leading the bolting Barnburners of .New York. "Wolverine" is the best name for native or resident of Michigan, when you would be irregularly civil. Like the corresponding term for an Ohioan Buckeye--it has a good sound.--Bon ton Traveller. Shaved by Section*. A commercial drummer, with several heavy cases in hand, panted into Warth's barber shop, Trenton, N. J. One side of his face had a several days' growth of whiskers, while the other side was perfectly smooth. He threw himself into a chair. "Shave me," he said, brusquely. The astonished barber began to ad­ just a cloth about his neck, looking at the drummer's face meanwhile with eloquent curiosity. "Been in tl^e barber chair once this morning, haven't you?" queried the barber. "Twice," said the stranger correcting him; "once in Philadelphia and once in Bristol. Got my face lathered in Phil- adelplua and then saw I couldn't make my train unless I started. Got the barber to wipe off my face, and I ran and got on just as the train was moving. At Bristol I thought I'd have time to do some business and get shaved and catch t^e next train. Got through with my business, ran into a barber shop, got lathered again, and got half my face shaved, when I heard the train coming. Jumped up aad paid the barber, and again had my face wiped off, and struck for the depot and got the train just as it was moving. People on the train looked at me and then turned away and whispered. Tliev thought I was an escaped lunatic. I want a close shave, please, and take your time to it. I'm going to make up for this helter-skelter business in the morning."--Trenton Times. THE best society and conversation is that in which the heart has a greater share than the head.--De la Bruvere* markablaiMmocy,^id a brief poem or sentence repeated to be* onoe, and »ee» Sifter again vepeated with but one word varying, aronsM her anger and she frowns at the sfangfj word. An article laid down in the *fdom and in her sight may be allowed to remain for days, yet an inquiry for it will be answered by the child by pointing in its direction. She is quite an attractive baby, and no reason for her stunted growth has ever been assigned. The facts narrated above seem to be well- attested, and many physicians have visited the child without being able to even conjecture the oause of her con- dition. The Difference Between Nations. It has been asserted that the young people in Italy are divested of their shoes while enjoying a little of "tripse- chorean frivolities." The young man requires no introduction to the girl with whom he wants to dance, but he merely holds up his finger to her, and if she "tumbles to the racket," and wishes to dance with him, she bows, and they kick off their shoes in a "jiffy," and make a break for each other. Throughout the dance the masher makes love to the girl, and they go through a regular pantomimic * love scene. The girl doesn't seem to give him any satisfaction, and at last gets away from him, and makes a break for her shoes, and when she has got them on, the dance is concluded. In this country an introduction is necessary, no matter whether the party who introduces the couple to each other, are strangers to both, it makes no difference, so long as an introduc­ tion has taken place, the manner of it cuts no figure. The figure is cut while the dancing proceeds. For obvious reasons, neither the lady nor the gen­ tleman take off their shoes. Their stockings may have been worn out--to a dance before, but probably the best reason is that our country-made shoes do not come off as easy as the gaiters of Italy, and the honesty of ball goers is some­ times questioned. (We have lost a bar­ rel of hats.) Immediately after an in­ timate acquaintance has sprung up, and it usually springs very quickly after such an introduction, she loafs very languidly on the arm of the genttefcnan, and he leads her three times around the ring until they hatve reached the half mile post, when they clasp each other,, and come galloping down the quarter stretch, neek and neck. After a great struggle for supremacy, they dance under the wire, and the discon­ tinuance. of the music announces the1 fact that all hostilities are endted, and he either leads her to a seat or leads her, in getting one, according to the manner of his bringing up. No doubt but the unshipping of gait­ ers, and throwing them promiscuously around and being able to find them again without difficulty, is all owing to the honesty of Italians, but if the cus­ tom was adopted in this country, shoe­ makers would wax fat, and dancers would have to pay the shoemaker* in­ stead of the fiddler, and therein lies the difference between nations.--Carl Pretzel's Weekly. The Lime-Kiln Club. When the triangle had sounded the call to order and the rattling of many hoofs had ceased, Lord John Dewdrop arose and offered the club the use of the following at very reasonable rates: "Doan' saw off de handles of your wheel bar'er to keep a nay bur from bor- rowin'it." "De man who loses his temper will be sartin to lose his friends." "If it wasn't fur goslins dar' would be no geese. Gin a boy a chance to be a goslin befo' expectin' him to be a gan­ der." "An egotist am a man on stilts. Let him alone an' he am sartin' to come down." "Befo' praisin' the philanthrophy of de man who has donated a site fur an orphan asylum try an' diskiber if his wife isn't doin' de kitchen work to save de expense of a hired gal." "De man who has no friends to speak well of am a man to be avoided." "Be guided in your outlay by what you kin afford -- not by what your nay- bur brings home." "Truth am mighty, but use it in small doses in criticising de acts of your friends." De peacock may make a fine display of colors, but when it comes down to selecting something solid doan' ober* look de gander. He'? de same all de way frew, an' you alius know whai? to find him." "De man who draps his wallet to test de honesty of de public ' shouldn't give hisself away by advertisin' a reward an' no qneshuns axed." On motion of Pickles Smith the club accepted the above at 30 per cent, of their face value, and the amount was passed to Lord John's credit on the cash book.--Detroit Free Press* An 18-Year-Old Baby. There is in Hampshire county, Va., a human monstrosity which exceeds anything Barnum ever exhibited. It is <i young woman, or child, born in Penn­ sylvania in 1865, and therefore 18 years old, who is in everything but age an in­ fant. She is the daughter of Mr. John E. Miller, of Shanesville. A gentlc- >nan who recently saw her and learned tier age from reliable authority found her lying in a cradle. She is twenty- sight "inches in height and weighs but twenty-five ponnds. She cannot walk or talk and eats nething but milk, which is fed from a bottle. She has, however, a quick perception and re- Whereln the French Republic I» a Fail­ ure ̂ "What do you think of Paris under the republic as compared with the empire?" "Paris is a more substantial city un­ der the Republic, but not so much of a place for amusements." "Do you think the Republic will stand?" "Yes. The republic will endure for­ ever. A few classes want the empire back again. The woman who kept the place where I stopped was a violent Bonapartist. She was a New Orleans American, too. I asked her why she wanted the empire back. She said: 'What do you pay for the room you oc­ cupy?' I replied, 'Ten francs a day.' 'Why,' said she, 'under the Empire I got from from 30 to 40 francs a day for that room. D-- the repub­ lic!'"--D. R. Locke (Nasty) in Chica­ go Journal. The Storm-Breeding Territory. "Where does the gentle storm origin­ ate?" "Nine out of ten»take their rise in the extreme Northwest, in Montana or north of there, in the British Domin­ ions. Since our co-operation with the Canadian Weather Bureau, which is a sort of a little one for a cent, we have beeu enabled to get reports from as far north as Fort Edmonton, and as soon as telegraphic communication is opened up with the far Northern posts, we may expect much more valuable results and we can predict with more accuracy what the weather will be.--W. B. Hazen, in Cleveland Herald. THE Athens (Ga.) Banner says: "We don't want the Colonels ruled out of politics. They could not be rnled out oi the bar-rooms and hotels during the war, and now they must have some showing, so let them stay in politics; they are harmless," THE truly-wise man should have no keeper of "his secret but himsell-- GunoL PITH AND POINT. Bhwbibm: The coral wot«f, ;} TH* man to fill a vacancy--Da^dt Davis. TH* Weather Bureau is the storm \ scenter. | THERE are no female dudes. The 5 society idiot is always a man. ~ DOCTORS are generous men. Who ; ever heard of a doctor rushing out to chase away boys who were taking fruit ? from his trees? "You needn't be so crusty," said Tod- kins to his better half. "Better be a little crusty than half baked," was the reply of his amiable spouse. "OOT of the Mouths of Babes": Edith--"Have you written all the in­ vitations to my party, mamma?" Mam­ ma: "Yes, Edith/ Edith--"But the best part will be when the acceptions and deceptions begin to come in, wont it, mamma?"--Harvard Lampoon. JACK--"Say, old'man, will you let me take your hat and top-coat to-night; mine are looking a little the worse for wear? Chum--"Certainly you can have them; but don't you call that taking your partner's best and going it alone? --Harvard Lampoon. , " V . !No WORD was spoken when ther mnt 5!. ' " ; By either--sad or gay, i « ; . '»: , And yet one badly smitten was^ , .As was remarked next day. 7 ' • . mot by chance this autumn eve. " v i L ** neither glance noi- bov, ' A J T h e y often come together so-- A freight train and a cow. ENTHUSIASTIC professor of physios, discussing the organic and inorganic kingdoms--"Now, if I should shut my eyes--so--and drop my head--so--and should not move, you would say I was a clod. But I move, I leap. I run; then whit do you call me ?" Voice from the rear--"A clodhopper!** Class i» dis­ missed. "SAY. Mrs. Bunson," said a little girl to a lady visitor, "do you belong to a brass band?" "No, my dear." ml thought you did." "Why do you, my child IT "Because mamma said you was always blowing your own liorn,Suia I thought you must belong to the band." --The Drummer. AN Arkansas boy, writing from col­ lege in reply to his father's letter, said t "So you think I am wasting my time in writing little stories for the local pa­ pers, and cite Johnson's saying that the man who writes except for money is a fool. I shall act, upon Dr. Johnson's suggestion and write for money. Send me $50." 1 FROM a scientific journal we learn that "400 species of comatulictae are now known, and all except four belong­ ing to the genuis Eudiocrinas have at least ten arms. We always thought there were About that many species of comatulidao, but we were a little shaky as to the number of arms. A comatu- lidte with ten arms ought to be able to scratch its own back, no matter in what spot it may itch.--Norristoivn Herald. "M'RIA, I heerd de boss readin' from de paper dis mawnin' dat there's gwine ter be a change in the Ministery in En­ gland. I spec some ob dem ar Minis­ ters hab been foolin aroun' somebody's premises when de husban' an' fader was way down in de cotton patch, an* dat's kase why dey change dem. M'ria, dis should be a wa'nin' to ye, for we am all wums, an' we should profit by de 'struction dis lesson 'fords."--Texas Sifting a. HIT 'EM AGAIN. The deacon was stingy as stingy oould be. And his minister keen as a brier; • i 't And the minister wished the ceiling remoWMv But could not get his desire. ,» i One day a piece of the plastering fell By fate on the hard deacon's head, ' ' And he sprang to his feet and offered a ten To have that thing secured overhead. "Lord, hit him again!" said the minister keen. With which you and I will agree. For if planter will open the heart of a man, : The plastsr the man should have free. --Rochester Fost-Ejcpres#. A PEASANT who had often heard that Truth was a jewel lying at the bottom of a well descended into his well to search for the treasure. He skinned his knees and elbows, barked his nose, run an old fork into his foot, and shiv­ ered around for six long hours before his wife drew him up and asked: "What in Goodness' name were you doing down there?" "Looking for Truth." "Why I could have told you before you went down there that you were the biggest fool in America 1" Moral: You can get more Truth than you want around any well-curb. DE TRAIN ON DE. GOLDEN RAIL. Dis nigger's hair am turnin' white like de cotton on de stalk. His limbs am growin' feeble, an' it's bard for me to walk; But wid all uv dis I'se happy, an* we'en de Ooe- pet train rolls by (Jncle Remus will be runnin', an' will stop for me an* Si I'll be standin' at de station wid a through ticket in my lian'. An' doan k&lkulate ter git off de train dis aide do promise lan'; Well fire de newsbutch ftetn de kar, his sies will not be sold, Ksoewe'ae golnsr ter take- our ow* grub ef wo has ter take it oolcL De crosxties will be of marble an* de spikes oC silver white. Fur de Gospel train on de goldes rail will leave do sinner fnm sight; Wid Uncle Remus' ban' on de throttle, an' Olo Bi in de baggage car, Well lan* on time in de sweet by n by wild* beaattf ul gates ajar. --Griffin (Ga.) News. r The Latest Theory ef See-Slekness. Perhaps the most acceptable theory to-day is the one which places the origin of the trouble in the inner ear. The ear consists of three parts: the outer of these runs in as far as the drum; the middle part is inside of the drum, and contains the chain of ear-bones; while the inner ear is a complicated affair, containing the essential organ of hear­ ing. ' As far as we are concerned, the inner ear is a membraneous bag filled with .fluid, and situated in tEe solid bone. From the back part of this bag run out three semi-circular tubes communicat­ ing at both their ends with the bag or vestibule. These run in three different) planes, and are lined with hair-like nerve-filaments, which are much more abundant and more sensitive at the anterior part of the tubes. The tubes are filled with liquid in which float little calcareous particles, the otoliths. Tliedte tubes are known as the semicir­ cular canals. It was difficult to see what connection with the sense of hear­ ing these canals could possibly have, and some time ago it was noticed that injuries to these impaired the sense of hearing in no way, 1/nt caused most curious effects in the loss of equilib­ rium.--Lovett, in Popular Science Monthly. THE Governor of Tesuque, a colony of Pueblo Indians near Santa Fe river, in New Mexico, lives in a queer house. Its walls are adobe, and entrance is gained by a ladder leading to the sec­ ond story. The parlor is open to the air on one side, and the whole of back is occupied by a huge fire-plaoe. On the remaining sides are pictures, and the furniture consists ot a sofa of civil­ ized manufacture. WHAT men waqt̂ is not tident--it i'-- f . e A, I i. JLm&X .. x Lt Mi . .fe, *L .