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fa \ -•KJ. tnt{ fUnadralcr I. VAN SLYKE. Editor M4 PNMMM; MHENBY, Mdosk, (WnUewtat [«Hjybor, me was so to • rivaled toy, toltow, fain to stay. „ ttbtkt's <lim border-line '*> "»T bo (wrR the fndlnc flay: 1* ft Hi* tauter dark he fears? h«i»eew» made for wonder. ke«p tipon some land unknown, the crowding (mentions lg*p . •how lits ignorance my own. For be would iw be knows not wher®^ And I--I hardly know the more; T«t what Is dark and what is fair He would to-night with me explore Unm the shoals of ray poor creed , ; Hta plummet falls, but cannot rest; To sound the soundless is his need, To find the primal soul his quest. In vain these bird-like flutterings. An when through cages sighs the wind: My clearest answer only brings New depths of mystery to his mind,-- Vague thoughts, by crude snrmise lieset. And groping doubts that loom and pass Like April clouds that, shifting, fret With tides of shade the sun-wooed grass. O lonely soul within the crowd - "'" , Of fouls! O Knpnage-seeking cry! How black were noon without a cloud * X • X® vision only of the eye! l; Sleep, child! while healing nature breaks Her ointment on the wonnds of Thought; Joy, that anew with morning wakes, Khali bring yon sight it ne'er has brought. Lord, if there be, as wise men spake, • No Death, but only Fear of Death, ;i And When Thy temple seems to shal# :: ' 'Tls but the shaking of our breath,**.^ , Whether by day or night we see "7 " Clouds where Thy winds have driven none, Let onto us as unto Thee The darkness and the light be one. --Hubert Underwood Johnson, in the Century. K TRIP OW THE AMAZON. It was in the month of April--one of the hottest months of an unusually hot season--when I set out with my friends Dixon and Wilburg, on a trip down one of the wild South American rivers-- the Amazon. Some natives, who were to accom­ pany us on our trip, procured a boat that would carry us all, with our guns, ammunition, provisions, and a few kitchen utensils, that we might stop occasionally on tha shore, and cook our meals. The vast jnngle of almost impenetra­ ble forest, as it may justly be termed, was, at the time of which I write, the haunt of numerous wild beasts, and among these many huge tigers, which, from their immense strength and fero­ city. proved themselves, in several en- connters, .such dangerous antagonists that few Europeans cared to' attack them. It was a beautiful morning, for this torrid country, when we started on our journey, all of us in high glee, and our Indian guides making a dreadful noise with their voices, which we afterward learned was the music of these uncouth natives. Our adventures on the river trip were too numerous to mention. But an adventure, more thrilling than all the others, I must speak of here. One day we had traveled rather late into the night, without seeing a suitable place to land, when, about 10 o'clock p. m., I discovered through the gloom the faint outline of what appeared to be an island. We used pur hands vigor­ ously as paddles, and succeeded in throwing the boat near enough to land to get hold of the shallow bottom, when I jumped into the water and hauled it upon land. The island proved to be quite a large one, and having secured the boat, we proceeded to examine our new territo­ ry. It was further above the water than most of its fellows, and had a few trees and an abundance of shrubs grow­ ing upon it. "If there is any dry stuff here we .might have a fire," said Dixon. "Your matches are wet." ' "No; I have them in a tin box, and I guess they will go." "If you think so, we can easily find something dry enough to burn. There is plenty of drift-wood on the island." 1 took a stick and whittled it down till I came to the middle, and soon had a little pile of Yankee tinder for Dixon and the rest to experiment upon. We tried his matches, and, after several vain attempts to light one, at last suc­ ceeded, and my whittlings were eoon in a bright blaze. There was plenty of fuel, and we did not apply any economy to the use of it. In less than half an hour we had a brilliant fire blazing on the summit of the island, which illumi­ nated the river for a great distance. There was an abundance of long, coarse grass growing on the island, and m few moments were sufficient to enable us to gather a large pile of it, which we dried and disposed before the fire for a bed. Burying ourselves in the heap, we weue soon stepping out of the re­ gion of consciousness; butour devo- tins to the sleepy god were disturbed by an accident. I was almost gone, when Dixon sud­ denly jumped up and shouted to the rest to.follow his example. Of course we obeyed, and discovered that we had made our bed a little too ne&r the de­ vouring element. The dry grass was in a blaze, and with considerable difficul ty we saved the mass of it from de­ struction. We all laughed at the acci­ dent, and, having gathered more grass, and made a better disposition of it than before, we once more retired to our couch. The fire had been carefully replen­ ished, and we soon dropped off. I had no means of measuring time, but we did not sleep till morning. I was awakened by a noise near me, and started to my feet. The fire was still burning brightly, which showed that I bad not slept long. By its light I dis­ covered a huge alligator on the ground near us. He was headed toward the lire, and was evidently astonished at the novel aspect of things on his old homestead* I roused my companions, for alliga tors on the Amazon are not the harm less things they are on the much frequ ented rivers of the United States They are regular rascals, and will bite off a man's leg as quick as a ground shark. When the monster saw us he looked •ftvage, and made toward us. It was a pleasant situation, let me inform my readers. We were unarmed, our guns being in the boat, though that did not make much difference. But "where there is a will there is a way," and, most emphatically, we had a will. The way suggested itself me, and I seized Obe of the logs which we had piled on the fire, one end of which was a living masn of fire. Dixon and Willburg ini tated my example, and thus armed, we •toved tovard the "varmint." . "The rascal quickened his pace, and as he approached us, he opened his JtomendJos mouth wide enough to Imw* ti0en in one of us. He did not ier of us in, but, indeed, took rinest dose of medicine.that ever bis jaw. It would have been bly cruel, had not the act been jgp rdone in self-defense; but when he opened his moutli I jammed the log, which was about six inches in diameter, down his throat. Such a roar as fol­ lowed the assault I never heard! The alligator barked, spit, rolled over and over, kicked, scratched, and bit the •ground. In his mad struggles, he tolled down into the water and disap­ peared. We heard the water boil Around, as he raged in his agony, but V>e saw no more of him. After this adventure we decided that it was not safe to sleep unguarded, and Sre com promised by taking turns. After |[ had watched about two hours by our camp-fire, I called up Dixon, who took tny place, and I buried myself in the bed of dried grass before the blazing logs. I was so completely exhausted -that I dropped asleep like a tired, worn- out child. This time I had my nap out, for, when I waked, the sun was just ris­ ing, and one of the half-sleepy natives ^as on watch. Dixon was quite sound asleep in the grass, and Willburg was Snoring like a torrent by the half-smol­ dering fire. I got some wood and replenished our fire, so as to be in readiness for break fast, and having nothing else to do I took a walk to explore the island. Passing round the beach on the cur­ rent side of the island, I had nearly reached the lower extremity, when my attention was attracted by a splashing Hoise in the water not far from me. Ad­ vancing a few steps further, with a thrill of terror, I discovered a large tiger lying upon the beach. He was an ugly-looking beast, and my first instinct was to clear out, and not attempt a closer intimacy. He kept his tail flying up and down, slapping the surface of the water, and my curi­ osity, rather than my devotion to the science of Natural History, prompted me to ascertain the cause of this operation. The tigar was watching his tail with an interest that meant something, as he flapped it on the wa­ ter. I stood very still, for I nad no wish for an introduction to his savage monarch of the South American forest. Suddenly the tiger made a spring, and to my astonishment I saw him catch in his claws a good-sized fish, which he instantly devoured. Then I understood his object. He had come out to the island on a fishing excursion to procure liis morning meal. The mo­ tion of his tail somehow attracted the fish, and they were lured by it to the surface of the water, where they readily became the prey of the sharp-clawed fisher. It was a novel way to catch the finny inhabitants of the river, but I aft rward learned from the Indians that it was not uncommon to see tigers en­ gaged in this sport. I had seen enough, and would have been quite content to return from the scene of operations. But this, it seemed, I was not to be peacefully permitted to do, for as I turned to leave, the monster discovered me, and made a bound to­ ward the place where I stood. I had learned that wild beasts, though sav­ age and untamable, are natural cowards. I therefore, with a self-possession at which I was myself surprised, stood my ground, and tried to stare the majestic creature out of countenance. He fixed his glaring eyes upon me, and uttered a low, prolonged growl. If I had had a rifle with me, I doubt whether I should have had the courage to fire at him, for these animals, when wounded, are perfect demons of fero­ city. But I hail no weapon more po­ tent than a jack-knife, and all I could do was to stand my ground. The tiger evidently overestimated my prowess,for though he continued to face me, he did not attempt to spring on me, as i was fearful he would. I knew if I turned he would spring upon me, and that would be the end of me. There was scarcely an alternative left for me, and I had almost made up my mind "to be torn to pieces. But while there is life there is hope, though my hopes seemed very indefinite. I kept retreating slowly, a short step at a time, still facing my savage foe, and he as steadily crept upon me. I cannot undertake to tell how long it took me to come up with the fire, for in that terrible suspense every moment seemed an hour; but,at last, I reached the fire, where Dixon and Willburg were still snoring, unconscious of dan­ ger. To my surprise, the natives had re­ tired to the boat, and were lying snugly under cover in the stern, sound asleep. I called Dixon and Willburg by name, but then did not hear. I called several times before I could bring either of them to their senses, when Willburg, at last, awoke, looking round in astonish­ ment, as I rushed to the-boat for a rifle. What's the matter?" asked Will­ burg. Don't you see that tiger?" I asked from the boat as I seized my gun. "He has had his eye upon me for an hour!" His cheek blanched as he looked at the ferocious beast, now crouching near the sleeping form of Dixon, his tail vibrating in an ugly way. Willburg was not a man to run, what­ ever the danger. He looked at the ti­ ger and then at me. "Keep silent, when I shoot, for God's sake!" I cried, taking aim at the fero­ cious beast. I fired, and the shot seemed to take effect, though not fatally; for the tiger raised himself, as if for a spring. The explosion of the gun awoke Dixon, who lifted his head, and stared around in wonder. "For heaven's sake, Dixon, lie still!" cried Willburg. "Don't yon see that tiger at your back?" The warning was sufficient for the unterrified Dixon, who did as he was prompted, and sank quietly back to his former position, apparently unnoticed by the tiger, who was glaring at me with the gun in my hand. "What is to be done now ?" said Dixon, bravely. "I will tell you what is not to be done," said I; "don't show him your face, or he'll pounce upon you." "How will tho lire-brands work?" ask Willbuig. "If he is burned he will bo furious." "I am going to have one at any rate." Don't use it, only as a last resort," said Dixon; "and get one for me." And, quick as lightning, Dixon leap­ ed to his feet, and rushed for the fire, Willburg handed him a fire-brand and exclaimed: "Let us to the boat. If we can get into it we will stand a better chance." The two men waved their fire-brands,, and kept their eyes in the face of the monster, who seemed to be intimidated by their lively manoeuvering, and, strange as it may seem, did not leap upon them. Slowly and cautiously they backed down to the boat, and we pushed it off with our feet. The In­ dians in the stern snored as if they had not slept for years, and were not awakened by all this confusion. "Kick those infernal rascals, Will­ burg," said I, "and rouse them to a sense of their danger!" At this time the tiger gave a growl, and made a tremendous spring. Dixon handed me a fire-brand, and just as the tiger's nose reached the bow, and his feet splashed at the bow of the boat, I punched him in the face with the burning stick I held in my hand, and I am free to say that it was the foolisliest thing I ever did in my life. His nose was severely burned; but, so far as dis­ abling or intimidating him, it roused io him a degree of ferocity which greatly dimished the chances of our escape. "Look out," shouted Dixon. "He will upset the boat." "You must keep her right side up; but hold on to the fire-brand." The tiger, repelled for a moment by the fire, immediately advanced to the assault. When he had come within a few feet of the boat he made a desper­ ate spring, and fastened his paws upon the gunwale, struggling to throw him­ self into the boat. The crisis had come, and I again thrust the fire-brand into his face, and belabored him over the head with the stick. But he held on with a tenacity that threatened our destruction. Dixon, excited by the terrible fray, rose from his position in the bottom of the boat, for the purpose of coming to my assistance. "Sit down, DixOn! More aft! We shall be swamped if you stir!" I roared, in tones that caused him instantly to obey. Seizing the brand he held, I applied it vigorously to the eyes and mouth oi the beast, and then pounded him on the head till my strength was gone. But the tiger, exhausted by his strug­ gles and the maddening pain of the fire in his mouth' and eyes, released his grasp and fell over backward into the water. The savage animal was hardly in a worse condition than I was, for when he let go, I threw myself down in the bottom of the boat, unable longer to support even my own weight. Willburg sprang forward and took my place, but there was no longer any need of a defense, for the tiger was making the water boil with his tremen­ dous struggles; it was evident that the fire had done its work upon his eyes, and that he could no longer see us. "Are you hurt?" demanded Dixon, when satisfied the tiger could not again attack us." "We are now safe." "Keep your eyes on 1 to® tiger," I gasped. "There is no danger; he is settling up his accounts. The boat is drifting away from him, and we are out of his reach." The knowledge that we were safe re­ vived me, and in a few minutes I had in a great measure recovered from the ef­ fects of the struggle. We watched with interest the fearful spasms of our late foe, which grew fainter and fainter, and at last ceased. - "He is dead," said Dixon. "Died hard, too. I pounded him hard enough to have killed a horse." "He didn't die of your pounding. It was the fire that did the work. The pain of his eyes caused those struggles, and he was drowned." "We are rid of him, at any rate." Just then the natives opened their eyes, and rubbed them, yawning, as if they had not been on the verge of death. "Shall we throw them overboard?" "No--no--let them alone," said I. "The infernal sleepy rascals deserve a ducking, however; and if we could nav­ igate this country without them, I should favor chucking them overboard at once!" THE xy y w FCHHH* Opposed to Prohibition. "Yes," said the Widow Flapjack, who is chief executive officer of an Austin boarding house, "yes, I must say I am very much opposed to prohibition and closing up the saloons, and all that sort of thing. It's all a base scheme against the best interests of the hotel keepers and landladies." "Why, I am surprised to hear you express such unchristian sentiments, and you a church member, too. How do you make out that prohibition is against the interests of the land­ ladies?" "If prohibition goes into effect all the saloons will be closed np and then all the free lunches will stop. Now, 've noticed that among my young men boarders the dissipated ones are the most profitable. Before they came to dinner they always step into the saloon and get a sour beer or a schooner of toddy, or something of that kind, and they fill up on the free lunch, and when they come to the dinner table they don't hardly eat anything, while the steady young men who never drink just gorge themselves. O, my, you ought to see 'em eat! They just take the profits off, and if it wasn't for the free .unclies and the "next morning" feeling that some of the boarders suffer from occasionally. I don't know what we poor landladies would do. There'd be no profit in the business. Yes, I am opposed to prohibition for purely econ­ omical reasons." And the Widow Flapjack sighed and went out and gave orders to cut the pie into seven pieces instead of SIX.-- Texan Siftings. Religious Note. "I had the funniest experience the other day," said Blinks. "I rode fifty miles on the Wabash with a Car-load of nuns before I knew it." You don't mean to say you didn't recognize the nuns ?" "That's exactly what I mean to con­ vey. and I didn't know they were nuns until I asked them for a chew of tobac- 'Oh, go 'way!" It's a fact. I went to every indi­ vidual passenger in the car asking for a chew, and every blasted one of them an­ swered 'none.' " Blinks' friend is still trying to get tho joke through his 'head. -- Fori Wayne Hoosier. Silence as an Awakener. Silence will sometimes awaken a man more expeditiously than the loudest up­ roar. For instance: When a minister is discoursing at the top of his voice on a hot Sunday, how sweetly somnolence broods over half the congregation 1 But let the minister. stop suddenly in his discourse, and be absolutely silent for half a minute, how wide awake they are. No thunder-clap in the country, or gong at a summer hotel, ever aroused slumberers more speedily or thoroughly. ZOUAVE jackets have reappeared, and the monkey business appears to be floating on the top wave of popularity, % Rfoli and Inmriow Rome-Th* Young Monarch's K(location. - The ruler of the 250,000,000 of whioh the Chinese nation probably consists is aow within five years of his majority, »nd is an occupant, while yet a minor, ?f thq same apartments in which the Emperor lived who preceded him on the Dragon throne. There, 'says the North China Herald, he eats with gold tipped chopstioks of ivory. There he sleeps on a large Ningpo bedsted, richly carved and ornamented with ivory and gold. Like one of those liv­ ing Buddhas who may be seen in a lamasery on the Mongolian plateau, he is knelt to by all his attendants and honored as a god. The building in which the Emperor resides is called Yang Hsin Tien, and is a little to the west of the Ch'len Ch'in Men in the middle of the palace. At the back of the central gate, on the south side, is the great reception hall. When minis­ ters of state and others enter for an audience, at 4, 5 or 6 in the morning, according to custom, they have to go on foot to the center of the palace, over half a mile, if they enter by the east or west gate, and when they get on in years they can appreciate the Emper­ or's favor, which tliep by a decree allows them to be borne in 6 chair in­ stead of walking. The rooms of the Emperor consist of 3even compartments. They are pro­ vided with the divan or k'ang, the "pe­ culiar institution of North China. The k'angs are covered with red felt of na­ tive manufacture, and the floor with European carpets. The cushions all have embroidered on them the dragoi! and the phoenix. Pretty things scat­ tered through the rooms are endless in variety, and are changed in accordance with any wish expressed by the Em­ peror. They are in all thirty yards long by from eight to ten yards deep, and are divided into three seperate apart­ ments, the throne room being the mid­ dle one. Folding doors ten feet in height open into each of these apart­ ments to the north and south in the center of each. The upper part of these doors is in open work, in which various auspicious characters and flowers are carved. At the back paper is pasted to admit light to the rooms. The front is ornamented with gilding, sculpture and varnish of various colors. These doors remain open even in winter, because during that season a thick embroidered curtain of damask is hung in the door way, which by its weight keeps its place close to the door posts and pre­ vents cold air from entering. In sum­ mer this is replaced by a curtain admit­ ting the breeze on account of its being made of very thin strips of bamboo. The silk threads used in sewing the stripes of bamboo together through are of various colors, and, passing through the whole texture of the cur­ tain from the top to the bottom, are very agreeable to the eye. These sum­ mer and winter curtains are rolled up to give air to the rooms when required. Exit and entrance are effected on each side of these curtains by side doors. Along the whole front of thirty yards there is a covered flight of steps fifteen feet wide. The roof over this rests on two rows of pillars. The pillars shine with fresh Vermillion, both within the rooms and on the steps outside, and are decorated with sculptured work, partly gilt and partly varnished. The \ Em­ peror was vaccinated when an infant, before his high destiny was thought of, otherwise it would have been difficult to vaccinate him, for, his person being sacred when Emperor, no lances can touch him. The Princess, his mother, goes to see him once a month, and kneels when she first speaks to him, but rises afterward. His father does BO too. The Emperor studies Chinese iaily for an hour and a half, and Manchu also for an hour and a half. He spends two hours in archery and -iding, and in winter amuses himself irith sledging. The City of Bahia. On the twenty-fifth day after caving the Brooklyn wharf we rater the harbor of Bahia, and at 3 p. ». the anchor is dropped. From the jffing the city of Bahia, or San Salva­ dor. as it is called in some maps, pre­ sented a most charming aspect, not only because we had become so heartily tired of the weary waste of waters and were overjoyed at the near proximity of- land, but because it was really a pretty view. Like Qudbec, this city consists of an "up town" and a "down town." The latter is the row of houses on the beach, and the former, which is the larger part of the city, is on the sum­ mit of a high, precipitous bluff. An slevator conuects the two portions of the city. Tho houses are all of a glar­ ing whiteness or colored in light tints •>f piuk and yellow, and the contrast with tho abundant tropical verdure plentifully intermixed with the build­ ings, the hazy atmosphere, the shim­ mering surface of the bay, undisturl»ed save by the ripples caused by the little boats speeding hither and thither-- verily it was a scene of rare beauty and ample recompense for any unpleasant­ ness we had experienced en voyage. The city of Bahia is the second in size and importance in the empire, and is the seat of the religious government, it being the residence of the Arch­ bishop--a functionary who is in reality higher in authority than the Emperor himself. I've often thought I'd like to be an Archbishop. Notwithstanding the city is nearer the Equator it is said to be much healthier than Bio le Janeiro, owing to its elevated posi­ tion.-- Will Wayward's "Exile in Bra­ il" Cities Warmer Than the Country. Those who happen to live at' a little listance from the heart of the city, says Science, must frequently have noticed i lack of accord between the readings Df their own standard thermometers ind the published observations of tho signal service observer at their locality. The reason of the discord is plain, viz., the perturbing action of tho heat which the city emits; and however gratifying it may be to the outsider to find him­ self superior to the Government obser- rers, it is very little credit to the Weather Bureau that this particular source was not long since recognized »nd avoided. The remark# of Professor Whitney on this subject, as applied to >bservations made at London, are per- UDent and convincing. He says: "It is a well-known fact, that cities are con­ siderably warmer than the more thinly inhabited country, otherwise under sim­ ilar climatic conditions. Statistics prove this to be true, and there cotfld be no doubt that such would be the ef­ fect of an imifiense aggregation of pop­ ulation within a limited space, even if there were no statistics bearing on this question. Many millions of tons of soal are burneu in and about London luring every year; and the whole mass sf brick of which the-city is built is ; tieatened during the entire winter, aud more or less in the summer, many de­ grees above the natural temperature. There can be no question that con ditions such as are here indicated viti­ ate all observations made in or near large cities, with a view to the deter­ mination of any possible secular varia­ tion of the temperature." A Night of Terror. A good story is told on one of the best known and most popular commer­ cial tourists traveling in this circuit. As he hasn't paid us anything as hush money we feel bound by duty and the insatiable demands of our friends, who persist in wanting something to read, to give publicity to the episode, and now you have it. The tourist, who is the hero of this tale, has an intense, almost maniacal hatred tor the species of, bug that some­ times is found inhabiting beds, and if. perchance, he encounters any of the pesky critters he is sure to go into "con­ niptions"--and the office--and raise a small sized thunder in the vicinity oi his locality. Not long since he put up at a hotel in a small town not a million miles from Fort Wayne, He was given room No. 13, which, to his superstitious mind, boded evil. But as he had to take room 13 or nothing, he took room 13. On retiring to his couch, in other words, when he went to bed, he set about to minutely examine the inter­ stices of the iurniture, all the while in great fear that he would find what he was looking for and surprise a colony of the enemy. But he found not a living, creeping creature, so, partly assured, he blew out the gas, or turned oft" the candle or whatever it was, and got be­ tween the covers. We say partly as­ sured, because he had done the same thing before and discovered before morning that he hadn't looked in the right place for the bugs. He lay awake for an hour waiting for the voracious beasts of prey to begin on his anatomy. In this frame of mind it was easy to imagine he could feel the tickling sen­ sation produced by the bugs running races up and down his--his limbs. • Now he was sure he could feel the trotting, and pacing and running stock exercising on the track. Yes, and even the heavy draught and gen­ eral purpose bugs he could feel as they were led out to be awarded the premium. He grew desperate. He grew more desperate. What had he done that he should be made to serve as an agricultural fair ? The live stock seemed to be getting more numerous and heavy until--great jeewliilikens! he could feel one walking over his feet. He could feel its foot­ steps, and it appeared to be outside the covers. Slowly it stepped over his feet and then deliberately began to walk along the now thoroughly terrified drummer's --limbs! He could have sworn that this Jumpo of bugs weighed five pounds. He could stand it no longer. Why should he lie. there quietly to be de­ voured by this voracious Goliath oi bugdom? • He wouldn't. With a ter­ rific and almost unearthly yell, he gave a furious kick that sent the bug across the room, while he (the drummer) ran out of his room and came in collision with a committee consisting of the night clerk, (who was also dish-washer during the day) the landlady, a chambermaid and a locomotive engineer who wanted to know what was up. "Oh! Lord Coleridge, what bugs! what bugs!" was all the terrified fellow could offer in explanation. "Bugs, you drunken delirium tremens galoot,--do you say there are bugs in my house?" demanded the irato landlady. "1Go and see for yourselves," panted the tourist. The committee, all but the chamber­ maid who had precipitately flown when she saw the drummer's deshabillt (which is French for underclothes) now went into room 13. "I kicked a whopper of a »bug into that corner," said the commercial man. "and maybe you'll find him there with a broken neck." The landlady with the light advanced to the point indicated, and holding the tallow dip aloft she pointed to a creature under the washstand. ' , "There's your big bug, sir." It was the cat.--The Iloosier. What Hannibal Did. "What did Hannibal do after the bat­ tle of Canute ?" asked a German school teacher of his pupils. 1st pupil.--"He pursued the Romans with great vigor." "Wrong. Next." •" 2d pupil.--"He encamped on the battlefield." Teacher.--"Your are a little liar. Next! 3d pupil.--"He retreated to bis former position." "You are another, you miserable, ad- dle-pated nincompoop. Ain't you ashamed of yourself that none of you know the correct answer to a simple question like that ? I say, you boy at the foot of the class, what did Hannibal do after the battle of Cannte?" Last boy.--"Please sir, I don't know." Teacher.--Kerrect, my boy, yon have studied vour lesson properly. Go np to tho Iiead of the class. You don't know, and nobody else knows, what. Hannibal did after the battle of Canute.--Texas Siftings. ~ Cinder in the Eye. Persons traveling by railway are sub­ ject to the continued annoyance from flying cinders. On getting into the eyes they are not only painful for the moment, but are often the cause of a long suffering that ends in a total loss of sight. A very simple and effective cure in within the reach of every one, and would prevent such suffering and expense were it generally known. It is simply one or two grains of flaxseed. These may be placed in the eye without injury or pain to that delicate organ and shortly they will begin to swell and dissolve a glutinous substance that cov­ ers the ball of the eye, enveloping any foreign substance that may l>e in it. The irritation of cutting the membrane is thus prevanted and the annoyance may soon be washed out. THE insanity of speculation has found a new object ot substance to serve as a shuttle-cock between bulls and bears. On Wednesday last the first call was made on the New York Exchange for bricks and cement. During four days 2,000,000 bricks (or brick) have changed hands, in the minds of speculators. In­ dications of early frost and a hard winter have caused prices to be main­ tained. If a meneber of 'Change should get hard np, he can call for a show­ down with the brick in his hat. Arbitrate. Arbitrate is the supreme word of the hour. It is the evangel of peace and harmony. It comes to furl the war banners, to qlieathetlieswords; to stack the rifles; to spike the cannons; and to disarm the world. It is a command to all war forces to ground arms. Arbi­ tration comes as the enemy of brutal force. It takes disputes out of the arena of settlement by physical energy, and transfers them to the'realm of the senses. Men may talk about the manli­ ness of war, and deprecate the influence that opposes it; but in its nature it can­ not be best for the race. Wars have been necessary. They are preferable to annihilation. A nation undertakes a war rather than to humiliate and stul­ tify herself. But the cases are few when the edict of the sword might not yield to the presence of reason. It is not often that the masses of the people desire to go to war in order to vindicate their nation from dishonor. The rul­ ers, the kings and the diplomats, are re­ sponsible for most of the wars of the world. Here is an example: King William was at Baden Baden Springs. He receives what he is pleased to call an insult.. Under pretext of wounded honor, war is declared. The world knows the rest. The result may be seen in history, where every page is red with the blood of innocent victims. How many people, either in Germany or in France, desired the Franco-Prus­ sian war? Thousands upon thousands were offered as a sacrifice. The ma­ jority of the army on either side were not in the ranks of their own election. They had not plotted for the tented field. Under their statd of civ­ ilization peace would have been preferable to war. War was made the only resort. Arbitration was not even considered. The King had his Generals, his implements of war, and his subjects. He also had his ambition. To gratify his ambition for more territory, lie plunged two nations into war, and brought them woes untold. This war with' all its sad results, might have been averted by arbitration. People are so organized tl\at they readily appreciate any act of physical bravery. "But peace hath her victories no less than war." How much greater it would have been for King William and Napo­ leon j the III. to have peacefully arbi­ trated their troubles. Murder is a terror and a horror to civi­ lization. There is no relief from this horror in war. It is mur­ der multiplied. War in most cases is a right from authority to go out and kill. There are evidences that the people are tired of the old methods of war. They do not wish to arbitrate by the sword. Grant set the most memorable example in favor of peaceable adjust­ ment of trouble, when, as President, he engineered the arbitration between this country and England. The example is worthy of imitation. In all affairs, both public and private, the spirit of peaceable arbitration is to be made manifest. Arbitration is the word of the hour. It is in favor of peace and progress. It is against the old methods of settlement by force. A better era has come. It will have troubles, but they will be adjusted by arbitration.'--, Inilianapolis Herald. An Unsuccessful Attempt to Talk Quaker. It is no easy matter for a novice to fling "Quaker" fluently. The tongue becomes confused with its triple choice of pronouns, and flaps loosely around the palate. I well recollect my clumsy effort to engage in conversation with a farmer, whom I met in Chester county, the Quaker stronghold of Pennsylvania. When I happened upon him he was sit­ ting upon a worm-fence, vacantly star­ ing at a cream-colored cow in the adja­ cent field. I at once divined him to be a Friend in undress, and determined to delight the old fellow, and amuse my­ self by carry on a skillful dialogue in his own i<jiom. This is how I suc­ ceeded: "How do thee do, sir? Is--that is, are thee meditating?" If he was delighted he controlled his emotions admirably. All he did was to gape and inquire: "Hev?" "The fields, the birds, the flowers," 1 pleasantly pursued, "are enough to bring thou dreams--I mean dreams to thou." He was looking at me now, and crit­ ically. I felt that my syntax had been idiotic instead of idiomatic; so wiping the sweat from my brow and hat, I eyed him calmly and observed: "Those cows, are' they thy's--or thee's--that is, thou's--dum it! I mean thine's." It was very unfortunate. He crawl­ ed down from the fence, nibbled at a plug of nickel-nugget, an act of itself safficient to tin-Quaker him, and as he ambled away, muttered indignantly: "Go ate your pants; I'm a tramp, but a gintleman."--New Orleans Times- Democrat. Food for Fat People. There are three classes of food--oils, sweets, and starches--the special office of which is to support the animal heat and produce fat, having little or no in­ fluence in promoting strength of mus­ cle or endurance. If the fat, therefore, would use less fat and more of lean meats, fish and fowl, less of fine flour, and more of the whole product oi the grain--except the hulls--less, of the sweets, particularly in warm weather, and more of the fruit acids in mild form, as in apples, sleep less, be less indolent, and labor more in the open air, the fat would disappear, to a cer­ tain extent at least, with no loss of real health. In food ve have almost a per­ fect control in this matter, far better than we can have in the use of drugs. If we have too mneh fat and too httle muscle, we have simply to us* less of the fat-forming elements and more of the muscle food, such as lean meats, fish, and fowl, and the darker portions of grains, etc., with peas and beam. AMIABILITY is the sunshine of the sou1 which causes smiles to bloom on the lips, and esp-ands the heart as the rays of the sun open the buds of the rose. BLANKETS and heavy quilts will bf muqia used during the coming winter. There Wa» Something Wrong* . "This example isn't right," is what the Free Press says a Detroit school­ boy said to his teacher, as he exhibited his arithmetic. . "Why so T ' "Why it figures the interest on $400 at 6 per cent." "Well, isn't that right?" "No, ma'am. Pa always figures.on 13 per cent.,and if there are twenty-four days over he calls it a month! I guess it is a misprint." OF 91,997 insane people in the United States, 44,408 are males atid 47,589 are females; while of 79,895 idiots, 45,307 ure males and* only 41,586 are females. THE Marie-Louise blue has given place to the Devonshire brindle. THE man who dies hard ifl the man who conquers fortune. PITH A5D POINT. (From the Fort Wayne Hoosler.] THE favorite song of the base-ballfM while trying to tally--"There's no place like home." : f * A MAN who Is a fool and knowiit sometimes knows more than man# a man who thinks he is wise. "A RICH man hath many crosses," sayft an old proverb. This is only another way of stating that he has many an X. IN China parents feel it their duty to make matches for their children before they are really old enongh to be trusted with matches. WE are in favor of dealing with the Indians on the peace plan. That is, cut them to pieces first and then argue with them afterwards. APPEARANCES are often deceitful. Many a man who cannot say tl& alpha­ bet backwards still may know enough to go in when it rains. "WITNESS, did yo,u say that after the quarrel you have just related, the do- fendant went off in a huff?" "No, your Honor, I said he went off is a wagon." THE literary ingenuity of the patent* medicine fiend has made it both popu­ lar and safe to read newspaper articles as many people read novels--the last end first. A BLUFFTON man went to Chicago, stayed over night at a hotel and blew out the gas. As he didn't die it can still be said that "the fools are not all dead yet." "RESIDUUM? What an odd name tor a horse! What on earth made you ctdl him that?" said Duflix to Fink. "Be­ cause I got left on him," said Fink, la­ conically, as he walked away. f' . rFrom Peck's Sun.1 A PETRIFIED oyster has been found by a Charleston (S. C.) man. He ex­ pects to make a fortune by renting it out for church-sociable stews. A FASHION paper savs "kittens' heads are to take the place of birds' heads bn the coming bonnet." The first thing we know some woman will be carried to the hospital with a fractured skull* Some absent-minded husband will sling a boot-jack at the kitten's head. • A GERMAN accosted a broad- brimed specimen from Texas, on Wisconsin street. "Who vos you, I don't know?" Looking the inquisitive German in the face he replied, "I am a cow-boy." "Dot's good," replied our German friend, "Shake; I vos a bully boy dooff* They shook. * s A MONTANA cabin on the Northern Pacific railroad hung out the following sign written with charcoal: "Only nine miles to water and twenty miles from wood. No grub in the house. God bless our home." A man in such a predicament must have more than ordinary faith to hold out long. A NORTH CAROLINA woman recently dislocated her jaw by yelling at a camp- meeting. It would be better for the managers of a cam]) meeting to put in a seam bpiler, and fog liorn, where so much noise is needed, and not dislocate a woman's jaw by over-working it. To be sure, a woman's jaw is calculated to stand a good deal of wear and tear, but there are times when the require­ ments exceed the capacity. [From the Norristown Herald.] AN exchange says "there are two moons this month," but it is safe to wager that the man weo sees two moon* is not a member of a temperance so* ciety. A SCIENTIST says that in the moon a hickory nut falling from a bough would crash through a man like a minnie ball. That settles it. We shall never go til the moon to gather hickory nuts. A YOUNG man while out riding one Sunday was thrown from his carriage and had one of his legs broken. The pun* ishment was visited upon him for break* ing the Sabbath. He should have gone out and played base ball. MAJOR DANIEL SIMPSON, "the veter­ an drummer of Boston," celebrated his 93d birthday a few day ago. It is sup­ posed that he always went a few miles out in the country when he wished to beat his drum. His great longevity is evidence that he never played on the aggravating thing withing hearing ol his neighbors. A PRYING sort of an individual haa discovered that the oyster has a trunk. Such a receptable may be necessary, from the fact that the oyster spends the summer by the seashore; but if the bivalvewants to'put on as many airs aa the fashionable young lady at the sea­ side, it must also have a big baud-box and a little pug dog. "Says He" and "Says Lw We all know.people who have the an­ noying and silly habit of interspersing their conversation with "says I" ana "says he," which is pronounced "sez I" and "sez.'e," but generally abbreviated to "si" and "se." Some people have it so bad that it is annoying to listen to them, for while we are noticing the "si" and "se" we naturally lose the thread of the conversation. It's enough to ag­ gravate a Sphinx to be compelled to re­ spectfully listen to something like this: "I met Rev. Jones down street the other day, and he didn't seem to recognize me, so I went up to him and says to him, sez I, 'Howdo, Mr. Jones?* 'si: sez'e, 'Mrs. Brown, you're almost a stranger,' se. 'I haven't seen you at meetin' lately,' Be, and sez'e 'I almost lowed you was down sick' se. 'No/ sez I, 'I haint been sick' si, 'but I've been so pressed with work,'si, 'that 'gin I get through for the day' si, 'it's most time to go bed/ si 'Yes,' sez'e, 'I reckon with your large family,' se, 'y«m have e'en a'moet as much as you cad do,' se, and sez'e, the Lord is with yillp Sister Brown/ a»:y--The Hoosier. v> It Tired Her. Mrs. Parvenu had recently furnished her new house* and it was gorgeoudy done. Everything was in style, and the carpets were woven in one piece to fit each room. lira. Parvenu had a daugh­ ter, and of her she was talking to a vis­ itor. "Ah, Mrs. Parvenu," said the lady, your daughter doesn't go out much." "No, not a great deal. It tires the poor dear so much." "Indeed! isn't she well?" "Oh, yes, well enough; but you MIK at many houses where she must call she has to walk over, the seams of the oar- pet, and it hurt's the poor dear's feet^ and makes her so tired."--Exchange. Political N«ta "Who is your choice for Speaker ol the House, Mr. Taukenphast?" "My choice is myself; but my wife usurps the position and persists in be­ ing the speaker of our house."--Tike I Hoosier. SILK hand-purses with monogCMH are much worn--empty. ft.