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• ? • ;A. •.«. ILLINOIS. IftOXG O* BttXIONAttUB. I'm ft blrwtor. m a bloater, "fc-i, f.By my milHom tll M dared;,, -\*i I'm a ftoater, I'm a, flo»t«r, g ' on the "imter" I have raised! I , i a-ffainfnp, I'm a-gaintaft, I Many mil Hone erery year; htn the relftninir, yea, th# rei Money King, 'tis rery clear. f^tn a.-ccoptnc, I'm •-©oopins, • Up the millions, foul or fair; ril tx> soooptna, m be soooniui , Till lamaUflitonaire! , * • • i • it , ' win a-rakinir, I'm a-raklng j* , % " . Many millions don't forgot; : , .£ - I'm the makinc. yea, the malting * * i i'kf ' Of the Billionaire, you bet! ; - o :i J'V, > * a-dromming, I'm a-drummta* '< I > , <* * Up the millions, right or wroqft ym n-comlng, yes, a-comin* te. '? u ^ With a thousand millions stropfe!; sJfe? r,* \ -'•>* . Vhatapltv, whatmplty wj, a, , • 'Thata Billionaire should die; # *4H '& 1Sl»e the city--New York otty-- p 'fit' wf. •* ' I'd be owning by and by! V'. v-v< 4* Tin a-nnrstmr. fondly nnrstnff' ;l**" Well my wealth in coffers crattamcd; \-'v ;--H '.JEnblic'S cnralng. loudly cursing. •" Hut "the public may be damned!" iC# t . it. YonderbilUon. - 84 O'CLOCK. ' JOHN FORD'S OPINION. 'iWfe, wife, while down In town to-toy T heard by chance the strangest thin Twill come to paw, the people aav, " The* trouble It is sure to brinjr. Ouv time piece there upon the wall Must go (it Hires me quite a abook); , Ton see 'tis of no use at all-- : soon be H o'clock. I W*"' - f, ^Fe'll breakfast then at IS sharp; At 19 I must take the train. What oddities! I can't help harp : OB what is snre to tnrn the brail Bat Labor's wheels will still go i On wages there will be JIO lock, Tho' this old world at last has found It has a 24 o'clock. Tho' some folks learnedly mar speak Of Greenwich time, and this and that, It is our century's strangest freak-- A qnepr. diurnal tit for tat. We're told the world improves with age. Otir ship at last has reached a dock Where change in all things is the gauge; • . 'TiciU noon b*> Si o'clock. *>-MibrrMoxm Herald. E THE TRAPPER'S STORY. "Several of us were sitting around a camp fire out on "the plains," one eve­ ning, some fifteen rears ago. I had . * gone thither in search of the health I f ihad lost by indulging too freely in hotel %T. pastry. The weather was cool, for it - - was the first of December. Supper had . been eaten, and now each man drew ^ forth his pipe to indulge in that luxury . •of the frontier--a smoke. Our com- •; ̂ pany was composed of some dozen per- "if sons, who seemed to have been attract­ ed to the town of Omaha with the same purpose in view, viz.: search of health and adventure. We decided to go in company, intend- - , ing to follow the California road as far si Fort Kearney, and tlieu strike across j ; the country in the direction of the Re­ publican, as we learned that great < lierds of buffalo could be found in that fertile region. As we were all inexperienced in frontier life, it was deemed advisable to employ the services of a scout. We w ere not long in finding one in the person of Mike Wheeler, a noted • old trapper, who was making his usual visit to dispose of his peltries. We struck # bargain with him; for both 7 ' parties were willing to enter into nego- 5 ' tiations. Mike told us what to buy for an out- 7 fit, and we bought accordingly; in fact, - I think nothing could have been of the - least use to us was forgotten. f We had now been on our way sir days, - and had gone into camp within sight of the Platte river, that was quietly .-sweeping eastward through groves of Cottonwood. ' I suggested theidea that perhapsMr. Wheeler would not object to favoring ^gyihe company with a story. * ""I am employed by you, gentlemen," # he said, ^to either light or talk, and I don't know but what I might tell you a • story if you think it w ould be of any in­ terest." "Certainly, let us have it." •"Well, to beginand the guide sent . ~up a little spiral column of smoke, and then cleared his throat. "Fifteen years • ago, this coming winter, I determined to ' go further north than usual, and try my luck in the mountains in the eastern ' part of what is now Washington Terri­ tory. I had hardly reached the spot where I determined to spend the win­ ter, before I made the acquaintance of two mtt). one a French Canadian and the othexB Polander. They had been in the employ of the Hudson Bay ckiind. *wmj a littkt MM* not that six feet square. We had a good *m>k* of provistaM, «o w» did sot feel uneasy. "I suppose we are penned up for the rest of the winter '?"• I said. "Not so," replied Winowski; "just let the snow settle onoe, and then we can travel." #; •, ; "How?" v « ; "With'^rtk»w»hoe5.^:Sfe,^"'J- * "But where are we to get them?" i*"We have 'em here;" aud he unrolled # lmlf dozen pair from his pack. "You're more thoughtful than I should have been; but when will the snow get settled ?" "In about two days." "Sure enough, in two days we sallied forth to walk on the pure white snow. It was hard walking for me, being un­ used to snow-shoes; and it was with great difficulty that I could keep up with tho others. The ttaps we oouldn't find, hidden as they were by snow. So We concluded to hunt that day. The snow was now hard on the top,* and I doubt very much if we would have broken through the crust without Our shoes. We entered the woods, be­ lieving that we would be more likely to find game there than elsewhere. We had not gone far before a large gray wolf sprang up from his lair. Faver, being in front, gave him the contents of his rifle, and succeeded in breaking a fore-leg. The animal ran howling away. Without stopping to reload his gun, Faver at once started in pursuit. The animal being crippled, could only make tolerable headway over the snow. Winowski follow ed Faver, and I brought up the rear. The chase was an exciting one. The others being more used to snow-shoes than myself, I was soon left far behind. I could see that my com­ panions were gaining on the wolf, and would soon overtake it. The wolf, with the sagacity of the fox, left the woods and crossed an open space that lead in the directions of a canon or gorge. Faver, fearing that his game might escape him, redoubled his efforts to overtake it, and in the eagerness of the chase did not notice his near approach to the gorge, and was only mode aware of the fact when the wolf, now not more than five feet ahead, attempted to clear it at a bound, but missed, and was hurled down, striking the rugged sides in its descent. Faver attempted to stop; but he felt the .snow giving way beneath his feet, and slowly and surely he felt himself drawn toward the yawning chasm. He sank down in gutter despair. The next moment he hung over the abyss, and, as a last effort, extended his left leg. It touched the opposite side and checked his descent. His eyes were cast downward, and his countenance was the picture of horror and dismay. For fully two hun­ dred feet he could see the horny sides of the cavern, as though gaping to re­ ceive him. Faver dared not move, for it might precipitate him into the canon. Extricate himself he could not. He was growing weak and dizzy, and knew that he could not long retain his present position, as it required the ten­ sion of every muscle in his body. It was a moment of agony and suspense. "Winowski was just leaving the woods as he saw his friend sink down on the edge of the chasm, and hurried to hit. assistance. When he came up he com­ prehended at a glance the condition of his comrade. He also saw that to as­ sist him would be to risk his own life, with very little hope of escape. Life was dear to Winowski; but he waited but a moment, and then began to de­ scend, uttering words of encourage­ ment to Faver. Slowly he went down, down, until at last he stretched forth his hand, which Faver grasped with the desperation of a drowning ruan catch­ ing at a straw. "Now came the most difficult part of the task. Could he draw Faver up without losing his own footing? "Winowski began to straighten him­ self. He was a powerful man, and as he drew back, his shoes burried them­ selves in the crusted snow. At last he .drew Faver up, and when he had once landed him safely, the Canadian sunk down from exhaustion. I had reached the spot by that time, and drew out a flask of whisky and gave him a drink, which soon revived him. "Our hunt was spoiled for that day, and so we went back to the hut." "Did you make your fortune that winter ?" asked one of the men. "Yes, we made a great deal of money, but a trapper is rich to-day and poor to­ morrow. It is bed-time; so let us tura i*u" Only an Incident. A few days ago, as a north-bound train was pulling out of a small sta­ tion, a young man in overalls and Fur with his hat in his hand ran after and eoia! TKK JPUST. & *< > • Oompany, but becoming disgusted with the exactions of that powerful monop­ oly, had determined to enter the do­ mains of Uncle Sam and trap on their own hook. "The name of the Canadian was Faver, while the Polander flourished the jaw-breaking title of Winowski. "As both seemed to be sociable chaps, we concluded to form a copartnership tinder the title of Wheeler, Winowski & Co., with a view of carrying on an ex­ tensive war against beaver and other furred animals. Our kits were unslung, and the work of trap-setting at once be- £an. I soon found that my compan­ ions were thorough adepts iu the busi­ ness--Bkillful and energetio. Our first •duty in the morning was to visit the traps and this generally occupied the entire forenoon. In the afternoon we took the hides from the animals, and put them in process of drying, prepar­ atory to being packed. "We had built a hut under a shelving "rock, which would protect us in a great measure from the storms we knew would *urelv come. . "We had gathered in quite a little treasure of skins, and were looking for­ ward to the day when we should become rich men. One night a howling storm •Bet in. The old pines about our hut groaned and bent under the sweeping winds. We felt secure, and gave it lit­ tle heed; but cracked our jokes and told our Btories as usual, and then went to bed to dream of friends far away. I was awakened next morning by a shake frdm the brawny hand of Faver. - "I think you had better get up, unless you want to knock two days into one." "What time is it?" said I, springing to 4pmr feet. . ^"Ten o'clock," he replied. fit can't be possible! Why, It is not 4|ylight yet." "Ha! ha! not daylight yet, eh? Don't jmn know what the matter is?" i J,J"No; what is it?" ^ "'We are snowed in." • kJ"I had now fairly gotten my eyes open. "The snow was piled up against the door 89 as to exclude the light. After break­ fast we sat about making a road from -the door. This was no easy matter; for 'the snow was piled up fully six feet deep. A whole forenoon's work only clambered into the car. Running up the aisle to the front seat, he accosted a young woman sitting there: "Hello, Sally, I didn't expect to see you--no, I won't shake hands; my hands are dirty." "Oh, yes; shake anyway," she pro­ tested, and then he did. "When you comin' down our way? We're awful lonesome," said he, as the blushes chased each other oyer his face, "Oh, sometime." v "Well, don't forget." "No; and don't vou forget.* ! "I won't; but jeewhiz, the train is goin' so fast I must get off. Good­ bye." "Good-bye." When sne caw him tumbling and plunging in the ditch she comprehend­ ed just how much he cared for her.-- The Hooxier. mtrn of WMtatlNt YhMtav Upward ofT«a flbMiaM Dollars, There are house* in this city, plain looking from without, but with roofs incrasted with precious metals and floors studded with bits of silver, gold and diamonds. There are cobwebs hanging from the ceilings; but they are sprinkled like the spangled lace of an oriental bride. The men and women in the house are all ill dressed and grimy; but their fingers are tipped with gold, and their hair is dusted with glittering OTes. With all their riches, however, •uoh houses are only greasy shops with rickety, dark stairways. A reporter climbed three flights in one. He en­ tered a room whence he might have been sent away well-off for life; but all he received was a choking whiff of sul­ phuric acid or some other acid, and all fie saw and felt was a furnace which a number of workmen were supplying with bits of an old floor. The ashes were being scraped into barrels. "Making pulverized charcoal for bil­ ious people?" asked the reporter. "No, sir; just burning some precious wood," was the answer. "You see, when we moved from our old quarters in the Peterson building, we brought the old floor with us and left a new one. I expect these bits of firewood to yield us upward of $2,000. The floor has been in use about ten years, a.nd grain by grain, it has been filled with costly metals. This charcoal will be ground in a mill, and thence will go into a cru­ cible for amalgamation with mercury. Bv squeezing out the mercury through ctlaniois skins we will regain the gold and silver that has been ground into the floor by hundreds of feet." "What becomes of the metal dust that is swept up?" ' We treat it in a similar way. Our employes are required to wash their hands in a tank, and the dirty water passes through a series of sieves before reaching the waste pipe, so that very little of value is allowed to escape. A Newark firm uses no less than five tanks for its refuse water before it passes into a well. few years ago the firm took out the mud from the bottom of the well, worked it, and obtained several hundred dollars' worth of metal. The sweepings and settlings of a shop like ours are worth from $3,000 to $4,000, according to the kind of work done. If we get up many diamond settings and. plain rings the waste is large. In chain- making and watch-case work the loss is not so great. "What is the value of a floor ?" "That is hard to estimate. Dorisoii & Age, of Newark, burnt a floor 50x100 and obtained a return of $5,000. .. A jewelry firm on Sansom street obtained $800 for one recently burnt." "Cannot the workmen carry away the gold dust without detection?" "I have heard of such things. We had a man in our employ who had curly hair and was continually running his fingers through it. On inquiry we found he had been discharged from a New York factory for carrying gold away in his hair, which was afterward redeemed by a fine-tooth comb in the way many a mother redeems her boy's scalp." At this juncture another lot of the precious kindling was put in the fur­ nace. The scribe dusted o^' his note­ book, shdfl|the lapel of his coat, looked honest, IraR up his hands and had his finger-nails inspected, and left as poor as he came. "We do not reduce onr sweepings," said another jeweler. "We take our sweepings, burn them and pulverize them and send out sample packages to the as?ayer. The value of sweepings yearly I should estimate at over $4,000." At the United States mint, where more gold is used than in any other manufacturing place in the country, the devices used to recover vagrant par­ ticles of gold and silver are both novel and interesting. Chief Clerk L. It. Copperwaithe said: "The value of our sweepings for the fiscal year ending June 30, was $14,204.40 gold and $9,320.12 tor silver. We are very care­ ful to reclaim all the gold wo can. Nearly every month we have the ronfa of all our buildings swept and the sweepings refined." "Does that pay you to sweep til* roofs?" "Pay us! The sweepings for oue month amounted to $290. We ©cos- sionally sweep th« roof of tho Pr^by- terian Church. You wouldn't expect to find gold in a sewor, would you? Well, we Bcraped about sixty feet of the street sewer, and, apart from the rats we caught, reclaimed $500 worth of gold and silver that had washed from the roof of the buildidg during heavy showers?" "How often do you scrape the sewer ?" "Well, we shall scrape again soon. But after that there will be no need. We are having a well dug to catch our rain-water in the future. We hod a surplus last year of twenty-one ounces of gold over tho amount allowed for waste." "How do you guard against your workmen cariving gold away?" The workmen leave their working clothes here, and they are washed from time to time."--Philadelphia Newt, Sixty Dollars For a Hat. The costume of the Corean mm is particularly adapted to a life of idleness. The head-t Iress coneii Boom for Millions More. By the census of 1880 the unsettled area of the United States amounted to 1,400,000 square miles, being nearly one-half tke entire area of the country. The unsettled area east of the Appa lachian range of mountains has been reduced to 10,000 square miles only, and in the original thirteen States there are less than 15,000 square miles unoc­ cupied. Wisconsin and Michigan show 20,500 square miles as still unsettled while Texas has no less than 137,000 square miles of vacant land. In the territory west of the Mississippi, in eluding Minnesota, Dakota, Kansas. Nebraska, Ipwa; Missouri, Arkansas, New Mexico, Arizon&, Colorado, Mon­ tana, Idaho, and the Pacific States, 1,200,000 square miles are either unoc­ cupied or inhabited only by Indians. There is thus room for an enormous in- ol-population. , Social Ileal* "I am never missed any" more when 1 go off on a visit," sighed a West Wayne street lady. "Why not?" asked her friend. "Because since t got married they all call me Mrs."--The Hoosier. THERE are 121 soldiers of the wat of 1812 still living in Kentuckj. consists of three parts-- first, the band which goes about the head, being stretched as tightly OR possible across the forehead and secured to buttons or rings just behind the ears; then the inner hat of horse­ hair, which is merely a receptacle for the hair and topknot, and, finally, the outer hat of fine bamboo, which resem­ bles somewhat, in width of brim, the old-fashioned Quaker hat, though not so large in the crown as that was. It may be mentioned that some of these hats are very expensive, and can be made to oost as high as $60. The outer gar­ ments consist of a pair of baggy trousers stuck into padded stockings, the latter so large that they give the wearer the appearance of one suffering from gout in the feet; above these a cotton jacket, and over all a rrobe or gown, which resembles a lady's morn­ ing wrapper as much as anything else, although it might easily be mistaken for a nightshirt. This outside wrap is tied about the waist, and the Corean is | dressed, except as to the articles that he carries with him. First of all comes the pipe, and this is an article that no true Corean is ever without. Next, he has attached to his girdle his chow knife and chop stick, and two bags. In one of these he carries his tobacco, and the other contains his pocket-book, if he has one, and several articles for the toilet. He may also carry an oil paper cover for his hat, in case it 3houll rain. If he owns a watch that is also carricd at his girdle in a fob. Nearly all of the better class wear glasses of some sort, and these being very large and set in tortoise shell frames of corresponding dimensions, they add another distin­ guishing mark when iff their box and attached to the belt.--York Tim98. • TruMeatineatal Battwafh Plaoed as our continent is, like a strip of land of varying Width between the two great oceans, it famishes not only local business to the railroads crossing it, but becomes as well a high­ way between the eastern and western portions of the Old World. Enthusi­ asts, speculators, capitalists, long talked of a Paciflo railway to extend from ocean to ocean, but not until 1868 did a Pacific railway on United States terri­ tory become an established fact, though at the narrowest point of our continent the Panama railroad had long been in operation. Another was completed last year, a fourth is now practieally complete, while six more are either nearly finished or far advanced--ten transcontinental railroads in all. For to the north, in tho Dominion of Canada, is the Canada Pacific railway, in active construction and partly" com­ pleted, to extend from the St. Lawrence to Port Moody in British Columbia. Within the United States are four great routes, all subsidized by the na­ tional government with grants of land, money, or both. Commencing at the North, we find the Northern Pacific, extending from Lake Superior to Puget Sound and Portland. Second, the Union-Central, from Council Bluffs, by the basin of the Great Salt Lake, to San Francisco. Third, the Atlantic and Pacific, or thirty-fifth parallel route, from St. Louis through the In­ dian Territory, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, to the Pacific coast, no specific terminus being there designat­ ed. Fourth and furthest to the South, on the very borders of Mexico, is the Southern Pacific, or thirty-second par­ allel route (which we may consider as commencing at New Orleans), through Texas to tl Paso, ihence westward through Southern Mexico and Arizona to Fort Yuma, on the Colorado, and on through California to San Fran­ cisco. It must be remembered that though our Pacific sea-board extends from north to south for twelve hun­ dred miles, it has but four harbors of any consequence--Puget Sound, the Columbia river, San Francisco, and San Diego; hence any transcontinental rail­ way naturally seeks one of these, and the trade of San Diego being as yet un­ developed, the southern routes have aimed at San Francisco, through the more southern port would seem to be their natural terminus. In addition to these four routes, the Atchison, Topeka, and Santa Fe rail­ road, whose eastern terminus is at Atchison, on the Missouri, has extended its lines far to the southwest, and has acquired by purchase the Sonora rail­ way, recently built norteastward from Guaymas, on the Gulf of California, to­ ward the Santa Fe lines in Arizona or New Mexico. The connection thus made will' form another route, whose western termipus lies within Mexican' territory. In Mexico itself charters and subsidies for three transcontinen­ tal, or "interoceanic" lines, as they call them there, have been obtained by American capitalists, and considerable progress has been made toward their construction, ©f these the more north- ernly crosses from Tampico to San Bias, the second from Vera Cruz, by the city of Mexico, to Manzanillo. The third is the Tehuantepec railroad, across the isthmus of that name, to­ ward whose construction much progress had been made by American capitalists; but the term of their charter having elapsed, the Mexican government de­ clared it void, confiscated the work al­ ready done, and is now constructing the road as a national enterprise. At the narrowest part of our continent the Panama railroad has long been in opera­ tion. Here are ten transcontinental rail­ roads, three of which are completed, and in the construction of the remain­ ing Hovou Much progress has been made RH aMMures tlu»ir early completion.--F. L.I'i'tsmlwua/tt, in Ifariw'M Muyatine. A IVMtjr llolert. MM in (IN* I'TITL-LIRNDMQ, tiimrdiul, red iHMtnl 4 who luu ilit< gi'i'wi Htiiti* nf (lul* nil fur in lit* Minimi iif ('iiltMri'"*. lit WNM .MM'# imiutmit f<i|< lilt' ilnfnli.liMjt ill « tUillVW ilMillil'll 'iVSnf'n ww i'IIMIHM'I f»*r llm jtUM'ilrt, 'l lm muni WFTFMUL J dt'T'imtiUM <'»H« Hltii IMIIII VM'1'8 excited, MMIIMIMI i'ldli'ii1 pi'i'miiiitl in hi* rt'iily 'JVlhir't III' IllftMl' (III* Jllt'.v IMnl tl|l< liiuuli at KniiiM nf Tt'llt'l Mltitl Itotliilltf. SVIlMII lit' IMt'MM in elllHO, l|0%l>vt<|', III* |t fll* mill* utes Npiteiwlly t»» ItidfMht "UMUIKI.ICII of tl*«» jury," hi* Mhl, "iii.V liMltt«r litm, Mr. hut btMtii o <it« cerued riwiitly «»n I ln> milijml of VIM ligioii. The other d*,v lie emTlt'tl h(« f.'iil'H tuid Import to all nl<| ItttlitUt lidlt* ixter, IUM friend. Sltvf ti huiii ('onvormitinu hi* frit'inl N»id tu liii», tliut ho Neuiued to lit* tit It Vtiry hujmfi'i Mtute. Ho well udvMiPftil was ht* tliut the good old twin tliollffht him worthy of Hptlniu, *Tlmt in thu Hr»t »'wr«'H»Miv upon admin Mion to ymir t'lniTnh, U it notf nuked Ihdford. mtid the elergynmn. 'And how will it lie itdmuii«tei'»nl a*k«'d Ikdftih). 'AM i» mutal in our chureh,' NNI«! friend, 'by iimiMTHion.' 'Then,' Niiiil lU«lf»ird, very sorrowfully, *1 inn*t on^idel ' could not eon* sent to di«M|t|»<Hr MO l""K f»'*»»" publio view."' iMfurd kind to join in the loudest laugh of that day. Currt*' pondtnf ^ fhihuM/th/it /ta-oni, Aa KnlerprUlav UarlMtb A Dublin barber has hit upon an in­ genious expedient for soliciting custom. He supplies liquid refreshment to the victim in the chair without extracharge. With the shave goes a glass of whisky, and with the more delil>erate and com­ plex operation of hnir-cutting a full bottle of stout. The first effect of this novel experiment in trade was the pro­ motion of habits of neatness and cleanli­ ness among his regular customers. Those who have been shaved twice a week now dropped into the chair twice a day, and hair that had ouce been al lowed to grow in tangled luxuriance was trimmed as often as once a week. Eventually great inroads were made upon the trade of rival artists in the street, and an adventitious temperance agitation was set in motion. A cus­ tomer who had received his toddy in the chair was bribed by these jealous rivals to apply to the magistrate for a warrant, and the enterprising barber was heavily fined for selling liquor without a license. He may, however, resume business with a licensf. A BEYOLUTIONABY FOBCC./ SIM DMUWHN POIMMI Lurking la the Tw-Pnt. Among the revolutionary forces at work among us the Dean of Bangor as­ sures us that we nmst in future reckoa tea. The argument is quite consecu­ tive. Tea-drinking, renewed three or four times a day snakes men and women feel weak. Ther feel weak because their nerves are destroyed, and this makes them nervous and" discontented. Such people "complain of the existing order of the universe, scold their neigh­ bors, and sigh after the impossible." The prevalence of this dissatisfaction is a "dangerous revolutionary force." Q. E. D. The reasoning reminds us of the famous "Sorites" by which Touchstone proves the impending damnation of Corin from the fact that he has never been at court. In the face of such logic it is, perhaps, out of place to cite his­ tory ; and yet historical reflection will tend to console those whom Dr. Ed­ wards' onslaught may have unduly dis­ turbed. We get our tea from China, where it is the universal drink; the Chinese being, nevertheless, the most conservative nation in the world, and the most self-satisfied. Believing them­ selves to be children of the sun, they do not "sigh after the impossible," and the "existing order" of their universe is one which they hope and believe will never be disturbed. When the drink was introduced into England the first of our sovereigns who was addicted to it was the "good" Queen Anne, who can hardly be described a revolutionary. Among our leaders of thought during the past 150 years we had one, and one only, of whom it could be truly said that hi$ tea-kettll was on the hob all day, and whose appetite for the bever­ age was insatiable. This was Dr. Samuel Johnson, whom no revolution­ ist has ever yet claimed as an ally. With th^ie facts before us we need not altogether despair of the monarchy, even though tea-drinking should not be abandoned in favor of oatmeal and milk. At the same time, the Dean of Bangor was not very far wrong if he meant not only to denounce the bever­ age which most English people now drink under the name of tea. The true4 tea--the ethereal essence which is cap­ tured by the first touch of boiling water on the well-preserved leaf--is al- m6st unknown to Englishwomen. They make, and stew, a strong dark brown infusion of some vegetable substance-- oak bark would serve their purpose very well--and drink it with milk and a good deal of sugar. It is mainly a solution of tannin, and tannin is indi­ gestible ; and to remedy this the hot liquor is tempered with rum, or brandy, or gin. So we come round to the Dean's remark that "the tea-kettle goes before the gin-bottle," intemperance and ruin following in the wake. It is a great mistake to suppose that tea or coffee, as generally made in England, are tem­ perance drinks. Thfey are promoters of that dyspepsia that is the parent of drunkenness. This, however, is not the fault of either the leaf or the berry.-- London Standard. Cheap Living in a Great City* "How cheap can a man live in Chi­ cago? Well, sir, he can squeeze down the price pretty low," said the proprie­ tor of one of the numerous cheap res­ taurants. "You all see we sell a com­ mutation ticket good for $3.50 for $3, or good for $2.30 for $2 cash. This, in the first place, is a good reduction. Then we give a choice of roast meats, steaks, chops, and outlets, with pota­ toes, bread, butter, ooffee, and a piece of pie for 15. cents. Thus you see a man can get three good meals a day for $3,15 a week, or by buying a ticket for $2.65. But this would be what some would call high living, so they cut off one meal and live on two a day, making it cost about $1.80. Then I know some persons who are posted on a good lunch route, and buy only one meal a day and the rest of the time sponge free lunches. This reduces a man's board to about 90 cents a week when he holds a ticket. Are all our customers poor people? Well, some are, while others look like gentlemen, for they wear nice clothes and Mometimcs come in with kid gloves. TIU'HO are clerks, and a good many of I horn eat here. Yes, we often see sport­ ing men here who are in hard luck, but they are great men to live on free litlH'lum. They are posted where a good iilliHi in nerved, and generally drop in Ht d (Hinvenient time. But some of 'em itl'e abnvn this, and want to pay for everything they eat. These generally Imitrd at cheaper restaurants for a while, and then suddenly disappear, iviul we put it down that they have Ntl'uek a turn of luck. There are some rPMtaurunts where a man can manage to live cheaper than 00 cents, but it ain't MO satisfactory. That is at cheap rcHlum'unttt where you can order what you pleuiio. Some dishes, such as small sti'ivk, or corned beef and cabbage, are given for 10 cents, and coffee for 5 eouta. Home people leave off the cof­ fee aud the meal of steak, potatoes, and bread and butter costs 10 cents. Then he can buy a ticket good for $3.50 for $!) cash. By this reduction a man can eat three meals a day for $1.80, or two iiiealN a day for $1.20, or on£ meal a day and work the lunch route for CO cents a week. But this ain't a very popular method, as it's hard to do without cof­ fee, and the regular 15-cent m8al draws the moat people.--Ch icago Daily News. The New York ltaby. Every device of scrupulous fore­ thought and tastful elegance are in­ voked iu behalf of the American baby. At the period when the neut&r pronoun denote's the infant's personality, the beautiful muslin robes, a mass of Valenciennes insertion and lace, the elaborately-worked flannel coverings and the dainty little caps set aside for its use are marvels of fine needlework. The worsted blanket, often knitted by idle but loving hands, is now replaced at times by gorgeous combinations of satin and lace --the former decorated in one corner with a painted design of angels' heads presiding over the slumbers of infancy with the additional aid of an appropriate motto. The trimmings and paraphernalia of a baby's wagon almost vie at the present day with tlfe ap­ pointment of its mamma's landau. The parasol which shelters the vague little feature known as the baby's nose from the sun's too ardent rays is usually covered with white Irish point and lined with pale blue silk or satin. The outer blanket is generally of a similar lace, with pillow case to match. When cold weather calls for a plush cloak, white, or some pale kindred tint, and a little plush capot^, covered, in days of nipping frost, with a veil of white knitted worsted, are adopted, and with theso accoutrements the iufant wearer raay "bo said to have reached the zenith of fuvenilo state. The ease, however, attaching to its toilet arrangements are be replaced by the feminine pronoon she, the routine of satin, plush and lace are no longer satisfactory. In some families where precocity of intel­ ligence is monopolized by the'girls rath­ er than the boys, second-hand garments, once worn by parentaor guardians, may be palmed oft" on the embrvo lords of creation, but never on the ladies. The result is, that the most charming of fashions have been invented to set off the adolescent beauties of the youthful misses of our day.--The Hour. A Word to Barbers. A face well lathered is half shaved. When about to stroll out of &n even- ing fill your coat-tail pockets with chloride of lime. After you have thoroughly soaped your customer's face seize him by the nose,and begin operations. This enables him to breathe through his ears. In your conversation ask as many questions as possible that require an immediate answer. Swallowing soap don't injure a person seriously. It is considered very unprofessional for a barber to brush his customer's coat. If the boy happens to be absent let the customer brush his own coat. Never fail to remind a man that his head is full of dandruff. The tonsorial artist who negleots this plain duty doesn't know any more about his busi­ ness than a barber. Do not think of selling your "Egyp­ tian Lustral" for less than a dollar a bot­ tle. Affairs in Egypt are somewhat un­ settled, and, besides, glass costs money --a little. Always keep on your table a six months' old copy of the Police Gazette, and also a copy of the Fireside Com­ panion. These two publications are indispensable to every well-regulated barber shop. If you have been eating onions and drinking gin be frank with your cus­ tomer and tell him sol Otherwise he may think it is the sewer, and bother some daily newspaper writing letters about it. If you find that,, your customer is about to swallow his "Adam's Apple" you should at once shave in that direc­ tion. In this \way you can cut quite a hole in his throat, and it will apparently be his own fault. Never fail to call the attention of your customer to tliei celebrated tonic of your own manufacture. The fact that'you made it yourself will go a long way toward effecting a sale--particularly with strangers. If, while cutting hair and watching a dog fight on the street at the same time, you find that your shears come to an abrupt stop, neglect the dog fight for a moment. Otherwise you may cut off somebody's ear. If your customer wears a pair of four­ teen dollar calfskin boots, a brass watch and chain and a colored shirt, you are safe in assuming that he is a brakeman on a passenger train, and you can pro­ cess* to color his mustache a solemn black. When a man comes in whom you know to be a stranger, always ask him if he "has a cup?" He will say no, of course; _ but his manner will indicate that he is pleased. As a rule none but bankers, brokers, statesmen and editors indulge in the luxury of a private cup. --Philadelphia Call. The Tornado. Suppose, for the sake of illustration you should take a basin of water and impart to it a rotary motion. They re­ sult will be that the level surface of the water at rest will become concave, showing that the liquid is thrown off from the center of motion in a spiral curve. If, again, instead of an ordina­ ry basin one is used which has a hple in the bottom, there may be produced not only a rotary motion but a descending spiral the velocity of which at the cen­ ter is so swift that a complete funnel is formed. , A similar principle actuates the cur­ rents of air that meet in the formation of tornadoes. The difference between a tornado and a cyclone is mainly one of space. Oceans of air move in a cy­ clone; a tornado is a mere whirling col­ umn. The mechanical theory of the two does not vary greatly. But in the case of a cytilone it is possible to pre­ dict its movements, while a tornado forms so quickly that there is little time for anything except to seek the cellar. An illustration by the rotary motion of water is imperfect for the rea­ son that air is subject to expansion and contraction. The whirling atmospher­ ic walls of a tornado vortex are made of air greatly compressed, while the in­ ner Space--a chimney it may be called --is tilled with air that is not rarefied. If it were not for the capacity of the air to contain moisture, the tornado, no matter bow swift its motion, would be invisible. This moisture is condensed in the form of clouds and by the lowering of the temperature and by compression. Both of thtfll causes are present in the tornado. Practically, therefore, a tornado is a whirling shell of water, ready to burst whenever it meets an object, as, for example, a mountain sufficiently large to stop its rotary and ascending motion.--New York Tribune. i « FITH AND FOOT. the Recorder,* (From Carl Pretzel's VwUjrJ WINDOW shutters are put up ai ments. They are only blinda. A HAX who spends all his time work­ ing for the future to the -detriment of the present g#ts the "future" before he wants it. ' " WHAT is syntax?" asked a teacher of a Sunday-school scholar a few Sundays ago. "The fine paid was the response. , IT'S a lawyer's business to defeat the law. There are almost a'lmndred thou­ sand lawyers in Amerioa, and crime is greater than before. "DEATH is no respecter of persons," in an old saying. It is true, and may %, reversed, and still be true. "Persoif are no respecters of death." "MAMMA," said the little inquisitive boy, "what makes kitty always eat the mouse's head first! Ain't it so the mouse can see where he's going?" SOME people prefer death to max*, riage. This is probably because aftef death there is no pain, but after mar­ riage there is nothing else but payi&V LAWYERS always look with calm thoughtfulness upon the site of a new Court House. They probably think that is the place where, ere long, will lie. [From Toronto Grlp.| v BEAUTY is often drawn by * single hair. J '• WHEN you commit matrimony emit the "t." THE bluntest men generally make the most cutting remarks. " ' FALSE friends, like ice, melt awav at the approach of hot water. ~ -- LYING is as hereditary as the gout, and both are almost incurable. No WOMAN rails so bitterly at punct- uality as one, who is by accident, punct­ ual--just once. IFrom the Fort Wayne Hoosier. I HEADWEAR--Baldness. A FISHEBMAN'S earnings are net pro­ fits. A BOTTLE of chill medicine does not require to be labeled "Shake well be­ fore taking." NOAH named one of his sons Ham so he'd always have meat in the house- in cold weather, especially. IF the pi essure of the times could be properly applied and used as a propel­ ling power it could move all the ma­ chinery in fifty-three States. SUGGESTION for a barbor shop motto: Oh, Absolom, Absolom! I weep for thee, my son. If you'd patronized a barber You'd never been undone. MAIDEN AUNT: "Come now, Johnnie^ be a good boy, and take your medicine." Johnnie: "Boo-hoo! I don't want to take it." M. A.: "Oh, yes do, Johnnie, and you'll grow up to be'good and hand­ some." Johnnie: "Well, then, wj didn't you take some medicine you was little?" ONCE upon a time Job's turkey and a church mouse formed a partnership for carrying on business. They were both poor. The business becoming embar­ rassed Job's turkey swell lowed the church mouse and then he wasn't BO poor as he was before. But the church fmouse? He dissolved. THE expression, "Does not do enongh to earn his salt," is not appropriate in India. England charges toe people of that country 25 cents a pound for it, and a poor native must, work two day* ] by no means the same when years and and a half at hard labor to earn a pound I experience awakens its soul to the pos- ; of salt fti J sibilities of life. Then, especially if it vAfc: A Universal Tongne* If yon are familiar with the French you need not study the languages of the different countries in which you travel, for it is a truly universal tongue. French is spoken everywhere, and the majority of the shop keepers in Rio when they find a stranger who does not talk the Portuguese will try him on French. A few of them claim to be able to speak English but I have listened to their attempts a long time without recognizing my mother tongue. One day when tho Major and myself were out for a stroll we had occasion to make an inquiry. Now, the Major is a linqnist who can speak a number of languages, so when be asked, in Portu­ guese, a question of an intelligent look­ ing man and was answered by a nega­ tive shake of the head, he resolved to try him again. Said he: "No falla Portuytieso?" A shake indicating a negative. "Habla V. Eapanol ?" Another neg­ ative. "Parlezvous Francaise No again. " Voi parlaii Italianof" Still an­ other shake. "Sprechen uie Deutsche ?" "No." "Thon what in thunder, do Jon speak?" "English, sir; I just landed yester­ day."-- Will Wayward Abroad in The Hoosier. IRRIGATION destroys young fish, as has been proved by M. C. Raveret- Watel. The young fry penetrate sud­ denly into the channels, and die when the current is quickly shut off. EXPERIENCE indicates that the worst use a young man can put himself to is to go to Washington and settle flown as a government clerk. HT' An Arkansaw Judge. "When I take dinner anywhere," said one of the Supreme Judges, "I always think of an incident that occurred Ita my boyhood days. One day my father sent me over to assist a neighbor in a piece of work, and at dinner the farmer# wife seemed particularly anxious that 1 should eat enough. "'Oh, do have some more cabbage, she would say, heaping my plate with another 'help'of the vegetable. 'Pap, pass the bread, for he ain't eatin' notn- in\ Have some more aigs. Let me help you to the greens. Do you like slaw ? Let me help you. Have some more cabbage. Let me help ydh to some more chicken.' "She kept on this way until I could - hardly see over my. plate. Good man­ ners suggested to me that it would be an evidence of ill-breeding not to show appreciation of the woman's kindness, and that if I did not eat everything she put on my plate, she might fancy an insult to her cooking. I kept on eating and protesting, until at last when I got up from the table I could scarcely walk. "That evening, while on my way home passed the cow-lot where the f amer's wife was milking. Two or three neighboring women were standing around, and I heard the farmer's wife saying something which I thought con­ cerned me. "'What, that boy?" she said. *1 never seed a child eat so in my life. He eat, and eat, and eat till he was fit to pop. I never allow anybody to go awajr from my table hungry, an' when he'd lookup with a sort of hungry 'spree- sion like, I'd pile it on his plate. I ' hope to never stir agin, if he didnt eat a whole head of cabbage.' " 'Don't you reckin he gits enough to eat at home?" one of the women asked. " 'It peers not,' replied the farmer's wife, 'fur as I'tell you, he eat, and eat, , and eat, till he was fit to pop. I didn't want to tell him to quit, an' pap he wouldn't say nothin', so I let him eat. Never seed anything like it. I'll de­ clare to goodness, I thought he would pop before he got through, an' when he got up he stood aroma' like he was in misery. He may get enough at home, but I hope never to stir agin if he dind*t eat, an' eat, an' eat, till he was fit to pop. Cabbage is his strong holt, and I • thought that old Nat Walker would beat anybody eatin' 'em, but that boy could make him ashamed of himself.' " 'If he ever comes to my house, FU know what to cook,' said one of the wfK men, and as I climbed the fence and sneaked away, I heard the farmer's wife say, 'I hope to never,, stir again, if he | didn't eat, an'--, I hurried away. *"• "The report that I was the greatest eater in the country, was soon ciran- lated, and for years afterwards the peo­ ple called me cabbage. Now, when I take dinner at a place and the hostefta insists on my eating more than I want, I tell her why some of my friends ad­ dress me 'Cab.' "--Arkansaiv Traveler. Talked to Death. A clergyman had a favorite and very intelligent dog who committed a grievous fault one Sunday morning. His master, on returning from church, "did not beat him, but took hold of him and talked to him most bitterly," most severely. He talked on and on for a long time in the same serious and: reproachful strain," and the dog was so deeply impressed with his own total depravity that he refused all food, pined away, and died in the oourse of a day of two. This story is told in the London Spectator by the reverend gentleman himself. ITALY has 918 papers. i /