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m:mz K '-"".f '& IS'ilWfi'isp^spfppp... W" *•- - -•-•«•• ••«•••••a-W^VVA.-.J^.-rf* * •••*•«{ >* "•" ' <" f '***<&**•*•*#.• W.'l ftp'-'ty -A * SI gMi w wmort of ftiw^ Dfcrtb#! Wvffe**fr*to><t6n<di of thrHNHtt UIJUHOWt W>H '•(.MP M* «•*««»•• M»»*f I MMtfitfU *•»*«. ,to k*M s . . OHCE OH A TIME. ET UMN O. RKWWJ • v. : J-Yfcs» aevmr *» M mournfal dlr*S . -j ," wOf minstrels barpor port's rhjSM, ^ , ; WM* ntf Mntenoe, in which merge 4 ^ TIM batted yean--'Once on a HmeP iftaattMt ph* tla charms recall*-- . Itapeaks m lantin&Ke strong, sublime; S5 o'er life's fmnehiue falls, If Ivttaeae weird words--"Once on a time!" .. fa* *Otwe on a tJme!" Oh, heart of mine! ^NeM.Wwlred to "there might have beeal* In mMms what thoughts are thine! And tongue for lands unknown, unseen! "Oooeonti time," with careless hand, r.Xfasttand need on desert npaca; •„.* •M lol tne weeds forsook the land, Aad golden fruit grew In their plaoel Tku*, what we do and what we say, *»«: > _%®«gh hnmfcered with the fleeting put, jfe^-yHlilllMliI on Ml the perfect day, \ . And shall confront ns each at laat! / ; itSs a | : > W T O O L D M A N ' S M w a f K ' Beside the open window * : • - ^ A gray haired man sat down. . The railroad train that 1x>re hp. ' , •• Sped ttoongh the grimy towa; ., :'is4 Ana everywhere, extended VPW V J**»» W WKld view, fv,;. • fe ••'-.'iafiffjsa.' - ^ t Aloag ttesteely river • "&0j$U:. *•••*iSsyssa r̂ssa :,??r * • Wete nestled is the green; "i> '*• And Mauds of engine labor i-- , K ; , . W a n x a t i b u r t o t h e s k i e s , ^ ^ ^53 *" the landscape bilstledL 1 -i*, . With signs of enterprise. '.t n Vhe old man gazed abont him - , m i ' t , A n d w i p e d a w a y a t e w , 4 r t o * \ 1 " c m t b l o t t e d Is all I held most dear. . The trees, the woods, the """'fltlltll Theprospects I have knowi®?"-; All things that were femUtar-IPt •(0. fa Are passed away and gone."?'.:H$ :«?j , k Beside the stranger loitered "* "r J A litlle shrill-voiced chap, . : fe* Jkk 4 dropped a small nrlxc package .«* mti% ito lb* stranger's lap. TT old man started quickly, \ m--* started and was mntc, id the small boy.'e basked;,\ -pers and his fruit. * f ^lindl»n his labo*1ng bosom >: ; •« * rm.^. *is of glad relief. w. all * *•« altered, **>• *.%• * 'A glad sarprk <e ha " (»me. »£ a* 1 Me the selt-ssi, Yon had'ere IV ***»*• --Jftw York Journal I <mA ?:»"*• HELENA' •:.j ' *' S^f;' BY BELLS C. Sv- tf 'She oUMto onr dow ooeidrearr No- re&Wdu in a pouring nlo, *nQ beg- gid in broken English that * 6 would t^e her into our service. -BJie behnfged to a miserable l^reneL Omadian familj that had lived in the «ffy fori many years; but shiftless *nd degraded as they were, it was evident, from the young girl's account, that th^ '^oindiderad her the black sheep among «fa|Q; and her mother, always harsh with her. for some reason had recently gtown more so, till that morning, after joi nnnsqally cruel beating, Helenore-- I^WW her name was Heleuore Baldean -whad a«d from under her hand, and •halting off the dnst of her native alley, wandered, she neither knew nor cared whither, till hunger and fatigue led her to seek a shelter with us. Her plain and somewhat heavy faoe was swollen and red with weeping, and look of pleading in her great soft black eyes that was difficult to resist. "Oh, if you would bat try me!" she said, "I can do good many tings; and I eate only for some bread to eat and place to leev, and"--with a shudder-- i "to be hurt no more." I held the door open and looked at -her with compassion stirring my heart Poor child! she seemed so young and yet so forlorn, standing there in her dripping garments. She could not have been more than 15 or 16 years old, 1 and she looked into my face with an ex­ pression of gentle confidence that I felt it would be cruel to wholly disappoint. And then she asked BO little--"only * place to leev and bread to eat, and to be hurt no more." The tears came to my eyes as the sim­ ple words recurred to me, and yielding to a sudden impulse I took her in, fed her and made her as comfortable as possible; meanwhile turning it over and over in my mind as to what I should do with her. At dinner time I held a consultation with Jack, the nominal head of the family; I say nominal advisedly, for he insists that I defer to him only as a matter of form, after having fully de­ termined in my own mind upon any course of action. Be this as it may, he generally con firms my decisions, thus making assur­ ance double sure; so this timo, after looking over my "very latest," as he called her, he promised to go to her mother and negotiate, if he could, for Helenore's services. As a result of that interview he found out for a certainty that Madame Bal­ dean was a horrible old vixen; but she readily agreed to let her remain in our employ if, after a suitable trial, we so desired. When Jack came home at night he found tis all together in the sitting-room. 1 was sewing, and Helenore was sitting sear me playing with little Ned our 8-old boy. "Well, Helenore," said he lightly, "I have wen your mother, and you can stay with us if you are a. good girl." She turned toward him with a look of unutterable gratitude and tried in vain to speak; then, with one swift movement, she threw herself at my feet, end,fastening her great eyes upon mine with an expression I shall never forget, •he made the sign of the cross upon her forehead and breast. , "We saw her do this afterwards on several oocasions when deeply moved, * Mid it was as expressive and touching M characteristic. ? We soon became much- attached to * Iter, and her odd, wild ways furnished tM no little amusement. One of her favorite pastimes was to sit with baby in the back door and play her "music," as jphe called it. This was an invention of " flelenore's own, and was only one of her many and grotesque but poetic fancies. < It was only a large sheet of thick " dfcout paper rolled up into a huge trum­ pet shape, and on this queer instniment •he would play for hours, bringing out the most unearthly, but withal, musical tones, which the neighbors far and near jran learned to marvel at and to deig- sate as "Helenore's music." Sometimes quite an audience would £ther around her while she played, d she always received their applause with much dignity, and as a matter of • •mir.s.>. But. there was one thing about ^this instrument very remarkable and Sirious; it responded to Helenore's and to her's alone. Meny others it, but always with poor sncoees. 3P an.d ca* pl»> the whole opera of "Patience" on a tin whistle, after a fashion, finallv gave it up in despair, declaring that he be­ lieved Helenoire was a witch; undoubt­ edly il was the peculiarity of her voice that gave to her tootingsuoh wonderful effect. She seldom sang, and when she did, it seemed • to be solely for the sake of giving vent to some powerfnl emotion otherwise inexpressible. Her voice jwas low, but very sweet and flexible; she had no high notes. I think she considered them too light and frivolous to convey the feelings of her soul. I once asked her why she never sang high. "Mine heart is. down here," she answered, laying her hand upon her ijheart; and I was glad to believe that in those low, deep tones of hers, so tremulous and so solemnly sweet, the strange, poetic soul of this pobr, un taught creature fonnd full expression and was satisfied. She sang her own words generally, and they were without connection--t senseless jumble; and yet as she sang - them them often possessed a weird and startling significance. Here is one of ,A ' "O happy, happy me! So still, so still, white aooa. ; To leev, tolov, to diet ' rffefAl*' All still and white, to die!" By questioning 1 found out what these words meant to her. She was always at ease with me, and could express herself more freely to me than to anybody else; so she tried to explain rtliia verse. She said she was "Oh, so happy" with us. She loved her little chamber ;,wh«re she could be "all still," she loved jfco have the "white moon" look so kind ly upon her at night, and she felt it would be good to die there "all still jand white." In the spring, however, a change came over our Helenore. Her deep content gave place gradu­ ally to a strange restlessness. She was no longer the faithful, attentive little handmaid I had learned to love and trust. She seemed to be irresistably drawn away from all in-door occupa­ tions ; if a bird sang near the house she would drop her work and run eagerly to the window as if she heard her own name called. If she were sent down town on an errand, she was unaccount­ ably long in returning; and, finally, one afternoon when she took little Ned for his accustomed airing she was gone for hours, wandering away across the fields, and bringing him home at dusk, lying back fast asleep in his carriage, with a wreath of violets like a halo round his golden head, and mote clutched tightly in his chubby hands. She received my surprised reproof in sullen silence, and I waited in vain for some account of her absence. She grew more and more strange and restless every day, fretting and chafing over her light tasks like some caged animal, until, finally, I qnestioned her: "•Helenore," said I kindlyr "what is it that ails yon ? Tell me, aad I will try to help you." At first she frowned daxkly and would not answer, but w hen I laid my hand gently and coaxingly upon her head--1 had noticed she lovtdt t» banre me do so--site yielded and Icr tongue was loose. "Oh, madam, do not be aagry," she cried. "We have gypsy Umd in as, mine moder do say--and oh, I would be going 1"--stretching out her arms, to­ ward the distant fields with a swift and eloquent gesture of longing. "Oh, let me go! I must go!" I was both shocked and disappointed, and I told her so, and tried to reason with her. "Where would yon go?" I asked. "There are no gypsie3 near that you could join, and you would soon starve and die alone; and, besides, how van you leave poor baby and me? Do you not love us, Helenore?" "Oh, I do, I do!" she cried, passion­ ately, throwing herself down upon the floor; "and I do tiy not to hear them call. I put mine fingers on my ears, b&t I hear them just the same!" Who calls you, Helenore?" I asked. "All things* out-of-doors; the birds and bees and the winds. They call me always, always; they say, 'Helenore, Helenore, come!' and I must go!" she cried, springing to her feet and looking wildly around. I feared she was losing her mind, and was much alarmed about her; we tried to divert and amuse her in every possible way, and for a few days she really seemed to be more quiet. But one morning we missed her. The afternoon previous, a hand-organ grinder and a woman, evidently his wife, entered our grounds, and Helenore went out to hear them play; and we noticed that she stood conversing with them in her own language,for some time afterward. They had been hanging about the neighborhood several days, and some­ how we felt sure she had gone with them. Our suspicions were confirmed by a farmer living a mile or so above us, who said he met them just at dusk, as he was returning home from the city--a man and a woman and our Hel­ enore. He said he recognized Hel enore at once, and spoke to her, but she made no answer. We learned furthermore from her nwther, that an organ-grinder aad his wife--old acquaintances of the familv --had been in the vicinity for a week East, and had put up a night or two at er house; and she doubted not that they were the same persons we had in mind. She made light of her daughter's disappearance, saying, with a shrug of her fat shoulders, that "she would be back soon enough," and seeming to think that in any case we were well rid of her. But we missed her and we mourned her, and I did not try to fill her place My "very latest," as Jade still called her, seemed to have .pnpred a aad fail­ ure. Mfowelh Mrired a long treforflbus I was lingering in my rose-garden in the twilight of a warm September day hanging fondly over a hed of pet hy brids--latest and sweetest of roses-- when I suddenly missed little Ned from my side, and, looking around for him, ~ spied him swinging on the front gate 1 started to go toward him, and at that moment the figure of a woman sprang up, as it were out of the ground near him, and at the same moment I heard a glad cry from Ned: "Helenore! Hel­ enore!" It was our Helenore! She caught him to her breast and flew, swift as the wind, across the lawn to meet me, and dropping on her knees, with one arm still around the bewildered child, she clung to me desperately,.sobbing and groaning: but not one word did she speak. I begged her to rise, but she would not; BO I Bat down there on the damp grass, and taking hat head m my lap; band and * At last ^ sigh she lifted her face to mine "I cannot ask you to forgeev," she murmured humbly; "that would be too good for Helenore; but I come to see von once more, and to tell you what is heavy here"--pressing her hand on her heart--"and then to die." I led her into the house and drew from her the history of her experience since she left us in the spring. . "Were the people with whom yon went away kind to you?" I asked. "Kind!" she crieJ,fiercely; "Oh*they were indeed most cruel: True, they did never hurt me like mine moder, but they have made me to suffer that I wish not now to live any more." "But you liked it at first, did yon not --the fields and woods and the music?" "Yes; I liked--well to wander and to be free; but I learned soon that only children and birds and squirrels ara trnly free--not woman with a heart here and here"--touching her forehead and laying her hand on her heart., I wondered at her words, bat I un­ derstood them later. "For a few days we had a happy time, and they were good to me, but then trouble came. I could not dance when I was tired, and I could not learn to sing their songs--and they laughed at my own poor songs; so they began to ppeak only bad words to me and to care not if I starved and suffered. "We were far away--I know not where--when we came to large woods, where many men chojyj>ed the trees, and some wives and children were there, too, and I begged the music man and woman that I might stay and work for them and leev in a little hut; and I stayed. They, too, came back after­ ward and worked." "And were you happy there?" She clasped her hands tightly over her bosom, and a new and strange ex­ pression swept over her face that I did not understand. "Happy! happy!' she murmured; Oh, yes! listen--I will tell you! "One chopper was kind to me; he said he loved me--loved nie!" she re­ lated solemnly, with a tender thrill in her voice that, explained all. "And he was so kind to me, as if I had been a queen! It was he, too, madam, that did teach me to speak so well; for he was a Yankee man," she added proudly, "and you see I do speak much better." I assented. "Where is he now?" I "Oh, I know not! i know not!" she cried, rocking herself back and forth and wringing ner hands. 'That wicked man and woman took me away one n%;ht; they said that he, my Eloi, had sent for me to go to meet bim far, far off; and wbeti we found him not they mocked and laughed at my pain. Oh, I tumid kill them! liars! beasts!" The last words were only a hiw of rage, and she stepfwd short, choked with passion. Helenore," I said, "why did they deceive you so? What bad ytm done to t&em? "WhaA bad I done to- them ? Noting, notiag; bat they hated' me Ifiie mine. moder, and would not that I should be happy;"" _ Hese she paused and a> sudden revul­ sion ef feeling seemed to sweep over her." "None are ever kind! to Helsnore," she saadsadljy--"none bafr you and him," There lifting my hands t)o her lips she kissed it reverently and' made- again that sign of the cross. I was deeply touched!;: I draw the girl t» me and said, with tears- so my cheeks: "Stay with us, Helenore, and try to be happy again." "What ? say you. so?* she cried, her eyes, wide with wonder. "Then^now, you do indeed forgeev like God." And she began to weep naturally and softly, shedding those tears thai always re­ lieve the heart. She was very tired, and when I re­ minded her, presently, that her little chamber and pretty white bedl were waiting, she smiled for the first time. "Ah," she said almost brightly, "it cannot be that I shall die now, aad per­ haps my Eloi will find me, though I could not find him." Her words proved prophetic. One night, a lew weeks after her return, we were startled by the thrumming of a banjo under Helenore's window, soon joined by a lusty voice bawling out right heartily some foolish ditty we hear in the streets. I sprang up at once. "Jack," said I, "that is Helenore'^ Eloi; I know it!" I went quickly to her room--she had not yet retired for the night--and when I opened the door she was standing like a statue by her bed; she turned as I spoke her name, and, with a look of ecstacy, pointing to the window, whis* pered: "i!iloi--Eloi!" "Yes," said I; "go down and ask him to come in." Wait, wait!" she said mysteriously; and seizing her "music"--the paper horn--she leaned far out of the window and blew blast upon blast of her most unearthly strains, which added to the roar of her lover's voice, produced an effect indescribably strange and ludi- crious. We concluded that he had heard those sounds before, as otherwise, at the first blast, he certainly must have taken to his heels and run away. Elias Rogers--for that was the young man's name--was, in truth, a "Yankee man," as Helenore claimed, but he had lived much among the Canadians and spoke their language like his own. We found that he was honestly in love with our Helenore; and, rouah and ooarse as he seemed, he doubtless had a romantic, sympathetic nature, or he could not have understood or appre­ ciated her as he evidently did. We were relieved to find him in every way so worthy of her and so suited to make her happy. And now my story is soon finished. Helenore leift us again, but this time with happy smiles and the hope of seeing us very often. In short, while I write, she sits out on our piazza with her own baby in her arms, and my Ned --grown now to be quite a big boy-- leaning on her lap. She is telling him what he shall find when he comes to see her and Eloi ia the woods where they are chopping-- birds' eggs to add to his collection, "Oh, go many kinds! but they will only take one from each nest, because the mother bird would be sad and grieve." Her heart is tender as of yore, but it never aches now except for others' woes.--The Continent. fFrun Dlo Lcwii •' HM£K new stiff rd[ ing it two hours in w* LOOSEN screws and nuts by pouring on the thread a little kerosene. PAKE apples by flouring scalding water on them, then quickly slip off the tkins. .,. ; > PBKTEKT the, formation of crnst in tea-kettles by keeping in them Ml oys­ ter shell. SCOUR kniVes with brick dost or pow­ der by using, instead of a rag and water, a potato cut smooth at the end. MAKE modeling clay moist and plastic for a great length of time by kneading it with glycerine instead of water. PREVENT w6eds growing on gravel walks by sprinkling them well with a solution of two pounds blue vitroil in six gallons of water. _ PRESERVE carpets and prevent dust rising from between the boards of the floor, by laying down under the carpets large sheets of paper. RESTORE yellow flannels to white by soaking them in a solution of soap suds and ammonia water. Wash the flannels afterward in clear water. PREVENT ivory knife handles from cracking while washing by soaking the blades in a pitcher of water, instead of laying them down in a pan. PREPARE indelibly marked^ wooden labels for garden use by writing with a soft lead, pencil on the surface of the label moistened with linseed oil. KEEP iron farm implements from rusting during the winter by rubbing them over with kerosene. Treat stoves the same way during the summer. CLEAN brass with a solution made by dissolving one tablespoonful oxalic acid and two tablespoonfuls tripoli in a>half pint of soft water. Apply with a wool­ en rag, and after a few minutes wipe dry and polish. CLINKERS may be loosened from fire­ bricks by throwing in the fire-box, "when very hot, two or three quarts of oyster or clam shells, or a less quantity of salt, 'allowing the fire to go out, and then cleave off the clinkers. LOOSEN ground-glass stoppers by wrapping around the neck of the bottfe a thick rag wet with hot water. Re­ move the stopper before the heat reaches and expands it. If sticky, drop a little oamphene between the neck and stopper. . To HAKE wood indestructible from jrat or fire, immerse it in a saturated solu­ tion of boraZr heated to the boiling point. Let the wood remain in the so­ lution twelve benrs; take out, dlry, im~ uerae again in a weaker solution three- hours, and dry. MAKE lead-pena£ writing indelflUe by farming the written/ sheet faoe upwards In a shallow dish and cover with akim- rna<I milk; dry carefully. Pencil writ­ ing may be made partially indelibla by moistening it with saliva or even by breathing slowly upan rt. THE use of tobac9o> for ovelr 5,000 years-,, according to one author, was can- fined; to Central America. In the year that CTolumbus discovered America, while-living off Cuba, He* sent two men ashora' t<D> reconnoitre. OB their retuxn they reported that they saw "the naked' savages twist large leaves together; light en» end in the fire and smoke like devils,"" wss acqmHed. and as thf/sopjwt adjourn- ed the Jnstice c»lled the lawy^fo him, and said: "I doesn't know, mucin T>out dese legal papers an' I wish voto'd dtaw tip dat infurence fur me."--Carl Fret- ttfn'Weekly. ' •< s/~' •. "v "r " 'v i r couldn't Stop Her "Yes," said he, as he entered the office of The Booster and crushed a chair full of exchanges with the air of abandon peculiar to those people who are familiar to the editorial sanctum, "Yes, I've had some experience in run­ ning a newspaper--I might say lots of experience." " 'Some' is a more appropriate word, Mr. Ex-Editor," we intimated. "Well, perhaps you're right;' but at any rate I'm not green in the business. I know a thing or two." "Dare say you could give us some advice ? We've been in the business only twenty or thirty years and we have a good deal to learn." "Betcher life I could--but I won't." While the life-size pangs of disap­ pointment were coursing through our system, he helped himself to a handful of caramels from the society editor's sideboard and again broke out: I run a paper in Oshkosh once, and you can calculatc that it was a snorter. Why, I built up my circulation right along, getting new victims steadily, and never dropping any of 'em. But it was mostly owing to a jewel of a carrier-boy I had the use of for thirty-five cents a week. By George, he was a rattler." "Well, in the name of Ben Franklin, how did a carrier-boy boom you so, Mr. Greeley?1? "I'll tell you, so if you ever get a mate to him you'll know better how to keep him and not let him starve to death on your hands. He wouldn't let anybody stop his paper. For instance, there was a subscriber named Mrs. Grundy She took the paper three months and then sent in the money with an order to stop her paper. Well, that kid dropped a Streamer at her door the next week and the next, and the next, and every time he did it Mrs. G. would yell: 'I've stopped my paper/ But that kid didn't seem to ihink so, Mid continued to fire a copy at her every week. The fifth week she caught him en the steps and while she held him she hissed : 'Ycotig man, cant I stop my paper when I want to?' 'Nome.' 'Why not, Pd like to kn,ow. Aint I paidupp?' " 'Yes'a.' . 'Well,, then; I want it stopped.*' 'Dars'h't, mum.' 'La, sates! Why not ?% 'It's agin the law', mum.* 'I dids/t knew that I couldn't sftop' aay paper when I wanted to.' 'It's a fact, mum,' the kid told her, the law saps as hew anybody whosoever knowingly, maliciously or diagonally sifeps liis or her paper, after once being a subscriber; is liable to seven years in' tbs penitentiary or both.' 'Oh, my goodness gracious t What a nazrow escape I've had!' the old woman greaned. 'I'll send the editor another dollar to-morrow.' That's the way that kid of mine build up my circulation to a million a week." '1stthat all?"' 'Yes; the boy died." THE trades-unions, of England have a membership of 600,000; those of the United States, 247,000. THERE have been necticut since 1844. CUBANS blood. no bears in Con- eat snake meat .1 The Empire of Japan* The ampire of Japan, or Dai Nippen, as it _ is called, is composed of four large nlatids, and of an innumerable numben of smaller ones, lying between the longtitode (east) 124 degrees and 155 degrees, and the latitucih 24 degrees 20 minutes and 52 degrees, with an aggregate area of about 160*000 square miles. n Its wftoE* length, from one end to the other,, measures more than 1,225 miles, andi its breadth varies from 73 miles t»> 146 miles. Nippon proper, including the adjacent islands, is by far the Ihegest of the group, having an area of 102,000 square milas; Kiushu, including the Loo Choo islands, has an area of 15,000 square miles; Sikoku, 7,500 square miles, and Yesso, in­ cluding the Kurile islancb, 84,500 square miles. The total population of the empire, according to the last census taken in 1881, is 36,710,118 souls, of whom 18,598,998 are men and 18,101,120 women. v The whole country is traversed by ir­ regular chains of mountains, with fertile plains and beautiful valleys, and the neighboring waters are studded with picturesque isles, greatly adding to the scenic beauty of the empire of the Rising Sun. The whole country is highly volcanic, and earthquakes are not uncommon; the hot springs are to be found iu different parts of the coun­ try, which afford the people places of resort for health and pleasure. The olimate of the empire is comparatively mild and salubrious, owing to the water of the Kuro-Shiwo; but in the extreme north it is almost arctic, and in the extreme south it is almost tropical. The soil is generally fertile, and is capable of producing all kinds of cereals, vegetables and frpits. The country is extremely poor in fauna, having only a few indigenous animals, but it is surpassingly rich in all kinds of edible fish, both of fresh and salt water. The flora largely consists of evergreens, covering the faoe of the country throughout the year. The mineral resources are not small, but they are not fully developed yet. The sovereign power of the empire is vested in the hands of the Emperor, whose authority is nominally absolute in all state affairs. The great council of state, over which the Emperor pre­ sides, is composed of a prime minister, two vice prime ministers and conn- sellers of state, who form the cabinet All laws are made by this great council of state and emanate therefrom. The senate is a deliberative body, whose members, unlimited in number, are appointed by the Emperor, holding their seats during his pleasure, when the laws are discussed and examined having power to propose the adoption of the new laws and the amendment of those actually in force. White Lies. A man was being tried in an Arkan saw court for some trivial offense. He did not understand an excessive amount of the American language, and when the Judge said, "You are the defendant in this case, I believe," he retorted "You can't come outside of this court and tell me that," In Mississippi a case was being tried before a colored Justice who had just been elected to that important posi tion, and who knew much more about hoeing cotton than he did about law. The lawyer for the defense made long-winded speech and concluded A (Jrhn Canadian Hnmorteti The Toronto Globe gives the follow­ ing will of the late Mr. Dunlop: "In. the name eft God, Amen. I, Wil­ liam Dunlop, of Gairbraid, in the Town­ ship of: Colborne, and the District of Huron j Western Canada, Esquire, being in sound health and nay mind just as usual, which my friends, who flatter me, say is no great shakes, at the best times, do make my last will and testament as follows:: Revoking, of course, all former wills, I leawe the property of Gairbraid, and all other landed prop­ erty I may be possessed of, to my sis­ ters, Ellen Boyle-Stery, and Elizabeth Boyle Dunlop, the former because she is married to a minister, Whom (God help) she henpeoks;: the latter, because she is married bo nobody, nor is she likely to be, for she is an old maid, and not market ripe;, and also I leave to them and their heirs my share of the stock and implements of the farm; pro­ vided always thai) the inclosure around my brother's grave-be renewed; and if either should die without issue, then' the other to inherit the whole. I leave to my sisteran-law, Louisa Dun­ lop, all my share of the household fur­ niture- and such traps, with the excep­ tions hereinafter mentioned. I leave my silver tankard to the eldest son of old John, as the representative of the father. I would leave it to old John himself, but he would ^pelt it down to make temperaaee medals, and that would be sacrilege; however, I leave my big horn snuff-box to him ;• he can only make temperance horn spoons with that. I leave my sister Jennie my Bible, formerly the property of my great-grandmother, Bertha Hamilton, of Woodhall; and when she knows as much of the spirit as she does of the letter, sho will be a better Christian than sl>e is. I also, leave m>y late brother's watch to my brother Sandy, exhorting him. at the same time to> give up Whiggery, Radicalism, and all oth­ er sins that do most easily beset him. I leave my brother, Allen, my big snuff­ box, as I am informed that he is rather a decent Christian, and a jolly faoe. I leave Parson Clievassie (Maggie's husband) the small box I got from the Sarnia militia, as a token of gratitude of the service he has done the family in taking a sister that no man of taste would have taken. I leave John Cad- del a silver tea-pot. to the end that he may drink tea therefrom to comfort him under the affliction of a slatternly wife. I leave my books to my brother, Andrew, because he has been so long a jangly wallon, that he may learn to read with them. I give my silver cup, with a sovereign in it, to Janet Dunlop, because she is an old maid and pious, and therefore will necessarily take to horning, and also my granny's snuff- shell, as it looks decent to see an old woman taking snuff. In witness where of I have hereunto set my seal, the 31st day of August, in the year of our Lord one thousand, eight hundred and forty- two. "W. DUNWJP.* „ by Iheil paying, "These are the facts in the case I I and you may draw what inference you I rent it"--Eeocas Siftiritft, ' , > t k - . A Strict Constructionist Old man Pettigrew, of Austin, is very precise in the majority of his state­ ments, and is a strict constructionist. One day a neighbor rushed in on Pet­ tigrew while the latter was eating his breakfast, and exclaimed exoitedly: Mr. Pettigrew, your house is on fire!" "I beg your pardon," responded Pet* tigrew, "but what did you say?" "Your house is on fire." "Ah, that is wheoe you are wrong,' replied Pettigrew., "Wrong!" saixi the neighbor. "Yes, this is not my b Triht'llfalMMhf. ' "People who ^Qlimb^on a passenger train when she is two or three hours late little imagine what endless plan­ ning and management it talMtf to get her through safely. Let a freight get behind time and we can handle her by running her on another train's time. but a passenger breaks up everything on the road. _ A train dispatcher must be familiar w ith every circumstance and every possible combination of circum­ stances. He must know on just what. portions of the road fast - time can be made and give orders accordingly. He must never give an order for a eertain time to be made unless he is positively eertain that the grade and condition of the weather will permit of such time being made. To-day I, may order a train to run from station A to station B, and another for a train to run from station B to A, when the same order to­ morrow would precipitate a collision. You have got to know all the men on the line. Why, on that road that I worked on there would be engineers and con­ ductors that could never get a train through on time. Then there would be others that would never be late except in case of accident. Why, sometimes during my eight hours of duty I would give 250 tram orders. Just think of that a moment. Here is a passenger- train foun hours late and a freight side­ tracked at almost every station. Of j course that puts every train behind time. First I have to order the opera­ tor to put out his flag and hold the trim for orders, and then I have to send the order and wait for it to be repeated back. At the same time a train may be passing a station five miles away, where I want* to hold and side-track; her. All this time I 'must not only keep a clear track for the passenger train, but must hot unnecessarily detain the freights. Sometimes right in the middle of a rush of business like this the wire will break or some operator will leave his keys open. Then everything is to pay. Fortunately the train dis­ patcher's order is law. Every employe is bound to obey it. So we do not have to worry about that." "Why did you leave the business?" "Because I was growing a year older every week. I had the work of ten- men upon my shoulders. You often hear about the brave engineer, clinging) with firm resolve and calm resignation: to the throttle while 'the engine isi plunging on toward inevitable destruc­ tion. His responsibility is nothing. Hej has only a single train and has no duty( but to obey the rules. The train dis­ patcher has a hundred trains under his| finger that presses upon the key. A moment's delay to a passenger train, a trifling accident to a freight, and the dispatcher is cussed. The eight hours you put in bending over your key seems. like a week. Your head swims and grows dizzy beneath its awful responsi-' bility. No more train dispatching for me, if you please."--Cleveland Herald, Humanitarian Fudge. A good old ma% being down town one evening, was invited to join the Humanitarian Fudgers. He was de-, lighted, and he joined. Next day,. while in his garden, he discovered a boy irn his apple-tree. Here was an oppor­ tunity for showing his neighbors how important a thing is humanitarian ftidjppe. "See," he says, "liow readily I shall subdue this wicked boy with humanity!" So his neighbors all gathered at the fence, and looked' through the crack. "My good boy!".' cried the good old man, "if you will< come down from that tree 111 give you a great big piece of cake !" "Cheese, it, cully! Whatter yu givin' me?" re-; turned the boy, who always used good. language, because his parents were' both respectable.. The- neighbors] behind the fence tittered'.. "Come,' now, you know how wicked it is to; steal!' I shall have to tell your father: if your don't get down!" "He'll call1 vou a. liar, old chap, if you-' do. You'd' better go in the house." The neigh­ bors-tittered again. The good old man began to lose his temper. "Really,* boy,. I shall have to throw something at; you IB you don't come down!" "Throw- and! be dernedl you old fool! I ain'ti afreaaed «o' yu!" retorted the boy,' snatching another apple. " Haw, haw!m now shouted the neighbors. Here the* good old man, quite angry, grasped a handful of grass and hurled it at ther boy. "Haw, haw! hee* haw!" veiled the asinine neighbors. "Fire away,, old! Stick-in-the-mud!" cried the boy. The, eld man was red-hot, and some- of th« neighbors had nearly split themselves,] "You young scoundrel!" he shouted, seizing a big stick of hickory stove; wood, "if you don't oe*ne down this in­ stant I'll bust you, you infernal little: beast!" And without giving the boy a ehanoe to reply, the good old man sent1' the cudgel flying. It grazed! the urchin's ear. He dropped his apple, as the good old man reached for another club, the young rascal howled1: "Oh, Lcardy, mister, it you'll only let me come down, I'll pay for these apples, I, will--Oli, Lordy!" Down he came, and the neighbors, by instantly leaping the fence, prevented the goed old man from killing the child ca the spot. The good old man doesn't go down town any mare.--Louisville Courier- Journal. War and Education Compared. A Belgian statistician has published some interesting facts about the com­ parative sums paid by each citizen in the various countries of Europe for war purposes and for education. In En­ gland war taxes per capita amount to $4.45, educational to 75 cents;* in France the respective amounts are $5.17 mid 33 cents; in Prussia, $2.83 and 58 cents; in Russia, $2.45 and 8 cents; in Italy, $1.85 and 16 cents; in Austria, $1.60 and 39 cents; in Switzer­ land, $1.16 and $1. Of all these coun­ tries, the last is theonly one that makes a decent comparative showing for the instruction of youth. The Russian fig- ureiare peculiarly significant.--Boston Tra user ipt. Diet in Stock. Two young gentleman boarders at tho Widow Flapjack's were locked in their room, engaged in noisily settling some dispute with their fists. "I must request quiet," said the widow Flapjack, her shrill voice piping through tho keyhole. "Haven't got any in here to speak of," replied one of the combatants, "ask us for something easier to get hold of." And the din of battle rose and drowned the pious widows pleadings.--Texas Sifting s. Salt LOIN The Mormons use Salt Lake solely as a bathing resort, and for that pur­ pose it is dangerous, since if a person .. . gets the intensely salt water into hiv mouth he will-strangle quickly. Eigjia or ten peqjbla drown this way e^brv , . . . „ _ - year. T^ellftke is a most and • nustake" -Exchange. ^ I isolated body of water. No ofeatura j THERE is one lavyyer for every 700 *• Hvw in it ana no person liv«Hie«r it } people in the United &taUes^ "I? j . t*rM»PsolrtSmi.i % fc»*flq>yt*»0w. Jf NlTUBX is kind to her children, |̂§r generally provides for their needs.,.. A" Pk soap mine has been discovered in Da- % koti. .jgf; THEX are vaccinating the Indiaaq of jpl Alaska. H vaodnation will prevent S Indians breaking out, let the doctors tackle the Apaches. A* exchange says that "If Moses had been a Jersey man, it would be a very easy matter to tell where he was when the light went out He would have been down in the cellar «». 4 plejack." Wouldn't he have been in the dark when the light want out? TEXAS has a girl lecturer, only 7 ' years of age. The New York Journal, after hearing of this prodigy, very feel- ? ingry remarks: "It were better for the 5 youth who will one day be her husband that a millstone were hung around his neck, and that he were east into the sea." MABT8V#tT.K, Oal., senchrthe startling * intelligence abroad over the oountry, "That boys of that place catch rats with a fish-hook and line." That may be • wonderful, but there are a hundred places in the county where boys with a fish-hook and line, not only catch a cold, but many times they catch a licking. California isn't so much ahead in this fish-line business after all. THE papers never cease to tell funny stories on the churches that secure B musicians to entertain the congregation. The lutest story comes from the east. A Baptist "church secured a cornet player, and the minister told the man to play something appropriate while the baptismal service was being per­ formed. Just as the good man led a convert down into the water the cornet struck up the old tune, "Pull for the Shore." The minister was so mad he was fairly wet. fFrom Texas Sittings.] n' ^ A HOBSE-THIEF in jail is worth twirM" the brush. THERE is one cheering reflection con­ nected with the subjeot of cremation. If it ever becomes general, callow poets will quit chanting their lays about tho cold, cold grave. IT would never do in the world td ' put the telegraph wires under ground out in Wyoming. The citizens need , them to string up, their horse thieves and murderers on. "I AM given to understand that Mr. Chas. A. Dana is considered quite a fluent writer," observed an English gen­ tleman to an American tourist. "Aflu- flnent writer! I should say he was. Worth over two million dollars and sports a $10,000 coop of game cocks. AjHuent writer f Well, 1 should say so»." A STATE UNIVERSITY student was pen­ sively leaning against the Court House-, when one of his schoolmates came up and addressed him as "professor." "0!r please don't do that again," said the first student imploringly. "Why not?"" inquired the other with no small degree- of surprise. "Why people will think I don't know anything." A SCAN in Illinois was- arrested and fined $25 for disturbing a ward meet­ ing. We should like to know him. The man who has got the voice and energy to disturb a ward meetiag, pro­ vided the latter is healthy and active in its diabolical mission, is worthy of our acquaintance, and ought to be given a Government position as a fog-horn on a stern and rock-bound coast. . f ;t "DON'T you feel the need of the pro­ tection of the Lord ?" inquired an itin­ erant elder of a boy lounging in front of a dwelling adjacent to a hard-looking saloon. "Well, no," answered the youth, "we dbm't feel the need ef him much dur­ ing the week, but we do shiver around some Saturday nights wh«® the cowboys come into town and get drunk at the saloon. We kind o' l®ok toward the Lord at those times." "WHAT will we play now ?" inquired a little Austin boy •£ his companion, afiter they had exhausted all known remedies in the way of games.; "Let's play Legislatures" "How do you play it?** " ; "Why,-call me." ! : "Call you 1 What shall I oall you, Temmy?" "No, no; you just call me and 111 abow down." "Show what down." "O, pshaw t If you don't know 'Itelt* to play Legislature, how do you expecfe to dp anything toward governing the> people Mthen you get to be a man ?" Henry Ward Beecher *9 a Bouncer. ' Mr. Beecher spoke of men blessed with wit, humor, and imagination, whov when troubled, could take themselves, out of the circumstan«es like a candl* out of a candlestick and set themselvea down somewhere else to be happy. A man who had a proper sense of humor was like a wagon with springs--he did not jolt. Mr. Beecber knew how thai was himself. Such a man was able to cast aside moody thoughts and fear. A man who claimed to be an English clergymaa came to Mr. Beecher'a house; Mrs. Beecher saw him, and told Mr. Beecher that he was very insulting. When Mr. Beecher came home another. time the man was there. He was a life* tie man and sat in the parlor, purple i in the face. * . "I sent yon a book," the growled.. . "Didyon receive it?" , , "I did." "And you were not gentleman enough to acknowledge the receipt of it I think your 'wife is no lady." "Walk!" said Mr. Beecher. ; *•' m "Yon, sir, turn me--" ii--i itii* T "I took him by the neck," said Mr. Beecher, "and rushed him out I waa not angry ; I was burning up. When I got back in the room it was so absurd that I lay right down on the floor and laughed. Suppose I had kept mad? Imagination, wit and humor helps one to grace. I have been criticised because I make people laugh. If I had v made them cry I suppose it would be all right. The Bible don't say so." -- New York Times. White Flannels Best. " '":- Mrs. E. L. J. is quite right in thi&k> ing that the popular idea is that red flannels are warmer and better in every way than white, but one of our most reputable physicians says of the two: "White is the best for the following, reasons: 1. White flannel is warmer 2. It contains no artificial coloring matter, as red flannel is likely to do, and hence cannot be a source of poison­ ing, as the latter frequently is. It is- more durable, and from the raMliness with which it shows oils, is liK^lv to be more eleanly. The, popular 11 notion that red flannel is a imeoific for irr i rheumatism or any other disease is ft