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W'l11"" ILIJNOI8. BT BQOKine nKLHf ,;«> Kiwi Balls Bradlwwwtto ... A voatb she womained nadl I'*;, 5flHrtirk*,tt«««n%wasraorsstatt* t»itltl l Bradler: £ IfeMlifea HmtarjM* hard W il)f fkUt>mi« iiwi^ dw;llini -^ *aawrnleighteaooadherey«-- . * " Hir riva', Btisaa Neillne- ; A»d Snsan was a-tellnr llarlovswtthnlaay afond oanM% 4: ^;p»4o«axing htm to anawer yaa. ' Hew, wh«n Ml»n nrartlev, listening, , . Btrrlvw's pleading story, m : •• BK pa lent. anfferln* soul wff sttrre<% ..And, straightway waxtng gory, SMOMI her ROVE at Susan's tse*. _A»d then, with anger paling, -••• "Phe cried; "Steponttawtlw Wh«r^ ho p is unavall.ner t ' . , And I'll jrtvc yona wfcallng!" ' And it affords ns pain to *>y If m Snsan stepped without deity. Then Be'la went fsr Snsan's hair* ® Vik. And In the furious tussle | :4f Idtu Susan streaked the oold, pale air With Bella's patent bustle. Ob. who«ould paint the scene of rote, '-ii .With all it* hideous feature*-- a * Th* smothered scratch, thp -tlflei roar ^ . Of th<v»p infuristeereaturei»! knd b? who wrought thorn alt thia hirst 1 by and boned them to be calm. .» , • • • a. r those who searched that battle-gtCKind - In hope of clew «b ainhtg, • |>ne little, crumpled bang waa foand-- T i ̂ And that was all remaining IK charming Bella and prettr Sat, ifdm»o. for a foolish paa too, f?ent out that evening to tmbrtt In hostile female fashion, • i With chignon, hangs andaash on; ftafc whether bang ot Sat or Bella, „ / The sorrowing yoath eotid never tell. ^ Bygsthering up the bee* la halts He hid It In his pocket, K:,' And subsequently nad it place* Within a golden locket; ' i And this be wears where'er he goea ' ; And oft Inspects the token-- ' |L sad reminder of the woes He brought on hearts now brofrmr- ,Bnt he has never spoken • the name of either Sue or BellaP Who loved not wisely hut too wp. •--Chicaoo Daily Neva. *1, AMPLY REWARDED. JL& ' »? • > ' In the winter of 1842 a gentleman his daughter, a young lady, while traveling through Canada arrived about night-fall at an old-fashioned tavern. The gentleman concluded to stop there instead of going on to the village of 8 , which was ten miles distant, and which they had thought to reach. The daughter - Carrie--expressed her will­ ingness, as the tavern presented a com­ fortable appearance, and they alighted, when it was plainly to be seen that the gentleman was quite lame, so much so that he was obliged to use a cane. The landlord came out, and calling a boy to take the horse and sleigh to the barn, he ushered Mr. Spencer and his daughter into a pleasant sitting room, where a bright fire was burning on the hearth, which proved very acceptable to our travelers who had been in the sleigh since morning. "Your room will be ready by supper- thpe, sir," said the landlord as he left the room and went into the bar-room. Supper was shortly announced, and after refreshing themselves, Mr. Spen­ cer and Carrie returned to the cozv sit­ ting -room, where they talked and chatt­ ed until half-past eight. They were then shown to their room, which was on the second story, in a wing somewhat distant from the main portion. The room was very long, with a high oeiling. On one side was a window,and OH the other a door. Just above the door was a bust of King George III. The room was plainly furnished, con­ taining two beds, a wash stand, and a t»w chairs. Carrie took in the whole room at a glanoe, and, it must be confessed, had were not been a cheerful lire burning, •he would have felt nervous about Bleeping there. As it was, the warm glow lit up the room into comparative cheerfulness. While she and her father Bat by the lire her eye wandered to the bust above the door, when she noticed that the «yeballs had evidently been knocked 4Bt, leaving two empty spaces. "Well, Carrie," said Mr. Spencer, presently, "I think you had better lock the door. I am going to count my money." After Carrie had done so he drew out a money belt, heavy with bills, and pro­ ceeded to count them. While doing so Carrie's eyes involuntarily wandered again to the b^st, when, to her horror and astonishment, in place of the emp­ ty spaces were two glittering eyes, greedily watching every movement of her father. The young girl could scarcely re­ press a scream; but controlling herself she looked toward the fire, while her father went on counting a large roll of bills. "I must have been mistaken," thought the fair girL "What could make me have such a strange fancy, though ?" , she continued, glancing again at the bust. The evesw ere still there--two burn­ ing, Ravage eves, that brightened when Mr. Spencer went on counting. "Good Heavens!" thought Carrie, **what shall we do! We are evidently in a den of thieves and will be mur­ dered for my poor father's money." How to communicate their danger to her father, without those terrible eyes noticing it, Carrie did not think. Sud­ denly a bright idea came to her. "Father," she said aloud, "let me take a card and pencil. I wish to make a memorandum of some items I want to purchase in the village." Her father handed them to her, after atowing his belt away. Carrie wrote tremblingly, in a fine hand. "father, do not be frightened; we are in a trap. Go to the opposite side of the room, where your face will be in ' the dark, and look at the bust above the door. In it you will see two glit­ tering eyes that have watched you count jrour money." / ; "Read it," slie said aloud, handing ipe card to her father. "I want you to if you think I am too extravagant." ii " ii Her father betrayed no emotion while ffc read, but said: "You are prettv extravagant, Carrie, jv X suppose you think your father is made m money," and arose and went to the washstand, which was in the dark o corner. f**: Once there he glanced toward the ^ bust, and that glance confirmed his daughters extraordinary statement. g When he came back to his seat, Carrie "i , law that the eyes were gone. Then, leaning toward her farther, she said in >low tone: ! "You see it is as I said. I have thought of a plan, however, by which ^ We can both escapes Yon would be Perfectly helpless in an affray of any ind, on account of vour lame leg, so I ^grasf try to save us both." PB- ^ Then followed a whi-pered consulta­ tion. during which Carrie kept her eyes fixed on the bust, b»t the glittering r v<9rba had. not come hack. As eh» con ddRd, Carrie went to the window, threw it up, and looked out. Beckon­ ing to her father, who came, she said or rather whispered: "You see this shed, father? Well, yiey will probably come up on it ind j get iu the window. I do not think they will make the attack before twelve, so I will get out of thin window, jump from this shed, go to the barn and take our horse and go to S for help." Flinging a wrap over her slight fig- tire she embraced her father tenderly, and bidding him not to worry over her, she jumped lightly out. on the shed and disappeared. Mr. Spencer watched her for a while, then closing the window took out a Watch, saw that it was nine o'clock, and proceeded to work. He first cov­ ered up the fire, blew out the light, and rolled up a blanket with which he had made a dummy. This he placed in the bed which his daughter was to occupy. Then he sat down and waited--oh, how anxiously! Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes went by, and no sound came from the vicinity of the barn. Taking off his boots he crept noiselessly to the window and peeped out, but he could see nothing. Then creeping to the washstand he laid his money belt in the drawer and closed it. He then threw himself on the bed and once more waited. After an hour had apparently gone by, Mr. Spencer threw off his coat and vest, tumbled up the bed, hobbled to the door, unlocked it, and stepped out into the hall. This was all in accord­ ance with Carrie's plan. "Landlord! landlord !** he shouted. He went back into the room and noiselessly threw up the window, tdl the time shouting for the landlord. That worthy came flying up the stairs, and late as it was, he was still dressed. Oh, landlord f" gasped Mr. Spencer, rushing toward lam. "I have been robbed! my money is all gone!" Gone!" echced the landlord, in dis­ may. "Who could have stolen it?" groaned Mr. Spencer. "I had $5,000 in a belt, and it is gone--stolen!" The landlord lit the candle and looked around, ohagrin depicted on every fea­ ture. "Why don't you wake your daughter, sir?" he questioned. Mr. Spencer hurried to her bed. "Carrie, Carrie!" he called, but no answer came; and the landlord, draw­ ing near with the light, saw the dum­ my, and cried: "Why, man, the girl isn't there!" "What?" gasped Mr. Spencer. "Oh, I see it all! The wicked girl has robbed me while I slept, and run off to meet her lover, from whom I was taking her." He ran to the window, followed by the landlord. "Yes, yes, here are footprints in the snow and shed!" cried the landlord, while Mr. Spencer groaned aloud. "How long do you think she has been' gone, sir?" asked the landlord. "For an hour or more, the deoeitful jade!" replied Mr. Spencer. "Then there's no use to look for her, sir," said the landlord. "Oh, but I must!"cried Mr. Spencer, as he began descending the stairway, followed by the landlord, who had be­ lieved every word Mr. Spencer said. They proceeded to the barn, followed by the landlord's confederates. They found her horse gone, and her mode of flight was easily explained. "You may as well give her up, sir," said the landlord, consolingly. MI suppose I may," groaned Mr. Spencer, and they returned to the house. As they left the barn he heard the landlord whisper to one of his confed­ erates : "The job's up, Jim--we'd better let the old man alone." ' Once more entering the room, Mr. Spencer threw himself upon the bed and awaited the return of his brave daughter. ' God bless her and bring her back in safety," he murmured. Meanwhile all grew still, and the hours rolled by. The fire had been raked up and crackled on merrily. The eyes were not looking from the" bust; they had evidently disappeared for the night. At last, after what eeemed an age to the anxious watcher, he heard a loud knock on the front entrance, and five minutes afterward heard the landlord stumble to the door. Then followed a confused jumble of curses and strug­ gles, then a rush of many feet up the long hall and stairway. The next minute the door was thrown open and his daughter rushed in, fol­ lowed by the officers, who dragged in the landlord and his confederates. "Oh, father!" she cried, "you are safe, safe!" and throwing her arms around his neck the brave girl burst into happy tears. The sheriff and his posse of men held the landlord and his confederates in a vice-like grasp, while Carrie related the adventures of her perilous ride. "After I left the barn I led Tommy to the fence, all unsaddled, sprang on him, wound my arms tightly around his neck, and whispered, 'Go, Tommy!' and away he went like the wind. Up and down, over the frozen road we went. My arms felt like ice, I thought I should certainly freeze and after what seemed to me an age of cold and pain and miseVy we dashed into the main street of S . As we came up in front of the tavern the stage drove up and the inmates sprang out and rushed to my assistance. I must have been al­ most insensible, for I had to be carried in by the landlord. I was given warm drinks until I fairly recovered, and was able to relate my story. I told them my suspicions and my fears, and this gentleman*--here Carrie paused, and turning to a fine-looking man near her, said, "Mr. James, by his ready belief in what I told, and his energy and spirit in arousing the sheriff and his men, ha* been the main cause in bringing assist­ ance." Mr. Spencer grasped the young man's hand and thanked him. "Yourplan succ«"eded admirably. Car­ rie," he said, and advancing to the washstand he took out the money-bolt, saying, "my money is all right, as you see." The landlord quivered with rap;e as he saw hpw completely he had been de­ feated. As the meu began to search the room the landlord protested his innocence, declaring that they had nt> right to hold him or his men prisoners, or to search the house. Breaking open the door above which was the bust, the men rushed in. The room was empty save for a long ladder which reached a shelf above the door. A -hole'.above the shelf disclosed the bust to be broken in half, so that a man could easily climb up the ladder, get on the shelf, thrust his hetd in the bust, which was large enough for «m ordi­ nary man's head, and see all that was going on in the adjoining room. ThiaoMtainW looked suspicions, but absolute proof wai yet wan tin?. On retorting to the room occupied by Mr. Spenoer, they again searched every ndtok and oorner. Suddenly Carrie and Mr. James, who had been standing by the fire-place, gave a loud ory, for on close examination they had found spots of blood on the bricks which formed the hearth. They began to pull up the bricks, which proved to be loose, when Carrie, feeling faint, gave way to the sheriff and his men, who soon bad them all pulled up, when a cavity was disclosed containing the murdered body of a gen­ tleman wliem Mr. James and the sheriff remembered to have stopped at S-- three days before. The evidence was conclusive. The landlord and his confederate^ were well guarded through Che night, and the next day they were sentenced and suffered the extreme penalty of the ipw - =====____ ;' Soake-Kllling Degs. "What sort of a dog do you call that ?" inquired a reporter of a plenty- of-timeand-nothing-to-do-with-it sort of a person, who with a brace of dogs, had overtaken him on the Kingsbridge road. "I reckon ye'd never guess," said the Virginian. "He ain't a pointer nor setter. He might be taken for a Spitz, but he ain't; and, I reckon, the only one m the United States. I raised him down yonder in Culpepper County,Yir- ginny; and talk about snakes! why, jest look at him at the very mention of the word." The little dog oertainly had been seized with what the reporter judged from personal experience to be a regu­ lar Virginia ohill. His ears stood erect, and every lash of his tail nearly threw him out of plumb. "Just come over yonder on the hill side," continued the owner, "and see what he's good for." The reporter fol­ lowed him over the fence, the little black dog leading and making for a slight declivity covered with rocks. "That's a likely spot for his game," laughed the owner. In a moment the excited animal was tearing away at the Atones, utterly short yelps, while his companion, a fine fox hound, stood by, looking stolidly on. The small dog soon struck hard pan, judging from the, noise, and out writhed a' goodly-sized' garter-snake. The next moment the! reptile was ten feet in the air, and the' tosser, bracing himself, grabbed him by the neck as it came down. Then en­ sued a wrestling that defies description. He shook the snake so that he lashed his own sides unmercifully, a proceed­ ing which seemed only to enrage him. the more. Now he was thrown off his feet, lying on his side; now he was: rolling in and out among the rocks, yelping, snorting and throwing the gravel about, while his master danced around in delight, and the fox-hound bayed in evident rapture. The snake, though a good-sized one, stood this treatment and gave out Then the dog carefully crunched every rib and bone of the snake, down to the tail, laid the defunct reptile at his master's feet, made his "how d'ye," and looked again at the heap of stones with an eager air. "Shake 'em out," said the owner, and for half an hour the black bunch of dog flesh literally waked snakes in that lo­ cality, and killed six of the reptiles that had been aroused from their win­ ter sleep. "Oh, he's a caution to snakes," said his owner, tossing the dog a lump of sugar; "but these snakes don't show him up, though. You ought se see him tackle a moccasin. See this collar? Battles? Sure's your born. That rat­ tle represents the last of five rattle­ snakes tossed in Culpepper County; and talk of moccasins! he'B at home with a nest of them." "When did he develop the taste?" "From birth, I reckon; but he knocked around my place for a year before I fairly sized him up. We con­ sidered him of no account, but one day a circus came along with one of these yere snake charmers, and the girl 'lowed her snake hadn't eaten for six months. The long and short of it was she offered a dollar for the pnp, and I made the sale, declining the invite to cee the fun, as she called the feeding. Wall," continued the Virginian with a roar of laughter, in which the little dog joined by showing his teeth, "the next morning I looked out of mv window at sunrise, and there a-rushing through my simlin patch was that yere snake charmer. She came up all a-standing under the window, and I'm dog-goned if she didn't tongue-lash me till I lowed I had enough. She had a dead boa-constrictor about ten feet long over her tsrm, which she wanted me to come down and paj for. But I didn't, though she sued me for selling her a wild dog, as she called him, but it didn't cost me a picayune. You see she chucked the dog in, and, as I heard from a cady butcher, she hadn't loosed her hold before the dog had the snake for all be was worth. He got his fore­ leg broke in the wrastle, but when they tore 'em apart he started for home, and there he is."--Neiv York Sun. Henry Clay's Last Visit to the House, Henry Clay's last visit to the House of Representatives, over which he had presided so long and so well, was at the funeral of Mr. Kauffman, of Texas, in February, 1851. He did nbt come in With Senators, but he entered the House alone, and took his seat immedi­ ately in front of the Speaker. He did not remove his blue cloth cloak, but re­ mained well wrapped up and unvarying in his position. I never before had seen him look so much like an old, old man. The damp and gloomy day per­ haps conspired with the passing scene to depress him, or it may be that he was not in health. 1 do not know, but sure I am that, from his appearance no one would believe that his voice could be even audible in the Senate, much less that, by the power of his eloquence, be oould control or influence its delib­ erations. His face shrunken and shrivelled, his eyes lnsterless and heavy, his mouth in repose only when open and expressionless, he seemed to have so Ion-/ since passed into the "lean and slippered pantaloon," as to l>e no longer suited to the ardent en­ counter* of the Senate. And yet, with a few rays of sunshine upon his brow and upon bis heart, how he could be himself again, old only in years!--Ben: Perley Poore. Heating Nte<uiu "No, Joseph, the Strain Heating Company was not formed for Che pur­ pose of lieating steam. Steam is heated before it is made--that is to say, when you heat the steam--no.when you make the steam--no--well, confound you, don't you know steam is hot anyway, and doesn't have t-«» be heated by a company?"--Scientific American. «*1IBA PACTS. for WUch Strangers An Mot Piwptuwd hp Heading Florida Literature. [Palatka Oor. New York San.] At almoat any bookstore in this state you can buy a score of books, painplets, md periodicals devoted exclusively to Florida topics. Some of them contain a good deal of information. Yet, hav­ ing read all of them, the northerner in Florida is continually coming upon facts that are new a fid surprising to him. You may be surprised: To observe that a region whioh was discovered nearly 400 years ago, and is sa d to be so inviting to man, has found so few to accept the invitation. To find [notwitliatanging all you have read concerning Florida winters] the January sun so tfarm at midday.. To find | in view of all you' have read] so few wild or cultivated blossoms thriving in the sun's rays, and so little fragrance in them. . To find so few birds, barring hawks and other birds of prey, warmed into a voiceful mood by the semi-tropical sun --to find so few birds of any descrip­ tion. That the duration of twilight is so brief. To find how little covering yon re­ quire on your bed upon retiring, and to find how much covering you wish you had when you wake up toward morning. To see, upon going out doors, that the ground is not oovered with frost, and that the flowers [such as they are] are not killed. To note how little soil there is, and how many empty tin cans there are above the sand. To see orange trees, with rich green leaves and loaded with yellow frnit, growing out of the gray sand. To cross gardens in which plants and vegetables are growing in great quantity and luxuriantly in this same sand. To obeserve that so few persons have these flourishing gardens, and to be told that not many can afford to buy the quantity of fertilizer this luxury calls for. To find the sidewalks shaded by orange trees weighed down by tempt*, ing golden fruit. To discover that this golden fruit is wild oranges, and very sour. To be told that strangers should be careful about drinking much of tho water at first. To learn how little self-denial the observance of this caution calls for. To see how yellow most "of the native and acclimated residents are. To discover, before long, that you are turning yellow yourself. To note how few persons there are who are past 70 years of age. To see so many idle negro men, to observe that nearly ail of them wear heavy woolen caps, and to learn that their heads are still cold. To be told by so many of them that they were "bo'n in de norf." That the negro laborers on the docks can't work without making suoh a bed­ lam. That they can do any other work while making it. To discover that your water-tight top boots leak sand, and to be told that everybody's boots and shoes contain more or less sand. To be forced to the conclusion that wherever there is sand there are red ants also. To hear the voice of the nocturiial musquito in midwinter. To wait in vain for him to settle down and bite, so that you can get a whack at him, and to be told in the morning that musquitoes haven't enough energy in winter to do much biting. To find yourself wondering whether they, too, are yellow and bilious. To be assured by a plain and candid appearing white man that the mus­ quitoes were so thick here last summer that they not only darkened the air at high noon, but put oat the lamps which were lighted in the stores. To find that there are bigger and less harmless liars than he in nearly every neighborhood. To have to fight so many flies in the houses in the winter. To be told .that flies do not oome in­ to the houses in the summer. To reflect that you permitted your­ self to be surprised at the information, when it would have been FO much more reasonable to assume that your inform­ ant lied. To come face to face in the sandy wilderness with a pack of gaunt, bony, shaggy beasts of almost every color and resembling nothing you have ever seen before. To be informed afterward that they were Mr. Julius Lemon's shoats. To be assured thatj Mr. Lemon and his family contemplate eating them ultimately. , THRB* aro York. .. , CliiuMftea »%«w past ont of the mind of the misertible person, and misery gets in its work It is well to try and cultivate that idea of forgetting miseries, by remembering mercies, and may be it will work a lit­ tle, but most people who try it will score a failure, and be more miserable than ever. The best way to forget miseries is to go fishing. If you get bite you can forgot the misery till you land the fish, and if you don't get a bite you can't be any more miserable unless yon fall out of the boat. If yoti get lots of bites it will be nip and tuck between misery and fun.-- Gcorgt Feck. . ••:••••- - - . A Passionate Wooinf. At sensei on a beautiful evening in February a solitary young man might have been seen ascending the brow of a livery-stable. In the west, where the day was dying, there were masses of fleecy olouds, the tints on whose lower edges, made by the broad bands of rosy light that streamed up from below the horizon, gave a hint of the golden glory that lay below them. From the southward there crept up on the sighing wind of the evening a faint perfume, and as Alexander Nonesuch felt its subtle in fluent e he gave a weird, eerie snifl with his delicately-proportioned nose, and into the luxurious dark eyes there came a look of tender regret that told mute eloquence of where his thoughts were wandering--to the calm, peaceful home among the snow-crowned hills of New England, bright memories of which had risen in his mind as the.sub­ tle odor of corned-beef and cabbage was wafted to him. Then, recovering himself by a mighty effort, he placed his right foot in the air and again moved steadily forward. "What ho! without there! Hook up a palfrey!" Even as these words rang ont on the evening air there was heard the shrill neighing of the impatient steeds and the thunderous roar caused by their iron-hoofs striking the floor as they leaped madly from their stalls and were quickly harnessed. The last gleam of daylight had faded from the earth as a faithful servitor lighted a fire under each horse, and a few mo­ ments later Alexander Nonesuch, looked out pensively upon the silvery stars that twinkled so merrily above him. "How like Venice," he murmured soft­ ly to himself. "How like that never- to-be-forgotton night when, floating idly in a gondola, I told Clytie Stiggins of my deathless passion for her, and she answered me in her cold, Boston way that the daughter of a man who owned two mackerel stores could never ally herself with anything less than member of the Massachussets State Historical Society. And how, seeing the look of frozen horror that had come over my face at her words, she burst into a storm of sob j and confessed that she loved me madly--better even than she did Emer­ son's works or Darwin's paper on the scomberoid fishes of the pliocene pe­ riod--but that the fact of my never having studied Greek had risen like an impassible bearer between us> Ah mel How well I remember it " and, taking a luge, rectangular chew of plug tobacco, Alexander Nonesuch sank back on the carriage-seat and thought of the past At last the carriage stops, and the young man enters a house whose pala­ tial appointments show to be the home of wealth and culture. Scarcely has the servant conducted him to the parlor when a beautiful girl, tall and fair as a lily and stately as a footman, enters the room. "Good evening,"she says in a cheery voice. "Good evening," replied Alexander; "are you ready?" For answer she put out a tiny foot, and he sees that she is wearing her overshoes. Rising silently he escorts her to the carriage and places her on the back seat, while he occupies the other one. "We are having fine" weather," he says, as the carriage rolls rapidly away. The girl assents to his meteorological statement with a brisk nod of her pretty head. "It was very kind of yon to take me to the opera, I'm sore," she continues. "Yes," he answers, "it was." * • • • • • Four months have passed. The June roses, fairest and most welcome of all flowers, are bnrsting into blossom. Down a shaded path, above which the cypress trees are bending, Alexander Nonesuch and Beryl Clearsides are walking. The crickets are chirping shrilly in the grass, and to the west­ ward is heard the murmurous breath­ ing of a large brindle cow. All nature seems hushed in sweet repose. 'You have never kissed me yet," the girl says, bending over him tenderly. "No," he replied, "kissing is wrong." They walked on silently for a mo­ ment. Then the man speaks. "And so you think," he says, "that we had better be married at once ?" "Yes," slie replies. "If we are to keep house it will be cheaper." "Why ?" he asks. "Because," she answers, "you Will probably hang around pretty steadily for the first six months and we shall not need a refrigerator."-- Chicago Tribune. Time to Sell. An Indiana farmer who was "holding on" to 300 bushels of corn ' to secure a better price came rushing into his house, one evening, after a call at a neighbors, and gasped out J 'Joseph--;John--William, we've got to load three wagons with corn before we go to bed to-night." "Why, father, what's happened?" "What's happened ? Why, Jim Sheets he takes a Chicago paper, and he was just reading to me as how a schooner loaded with 36,000 bushels of corn has gone to the bottom of Lake Michigan I" "And what of it?" "Why, you three idiots, corn will jump 30 cents a bushel before mid­ night, and we must be in Indianapolis l>efore noon! The time has arrove to sell every ear we've got and scrape in all the empty cobs we kin find kicking around."--Wall Street News. Taking t me by the Forelock. "Oh, mamma, my doll has got an aw­ ful cold," said little Mattie, the other day, "and I mUstliave some whisky to give it." "Who told you whisky was good for a cold," asked her mother. "That's what papa says he takes it for." "Oh, yes, he says that, *t>ut he hasn't got any cold. He just takes it for the cold he is going to have." "Well, my doll's goin' to have an awful, awful cold to-morrow." "I SKK, said McGill,„ laving down the paper, "that old Finchnickle lias willed his property to ScroRgins, the saloon keeper." "How's that? I sup posed he left it all to his son Harr Openings For Mechanics. - Thoughtful men are disturbed by the aversion of young men to mechanical trades and their eagerness to become clerks. Among the causes of this om­ inous social fact are the dislike to man­ ual labor, the desire to make a fortune iapidly, and the conviction that the me­ chanic is not as respectable as the mer­ chant Yet there never was a time in the in­ dustrial world when first-class mechan­ ics were in such demand as they are to­ day, or when their remuneration was more ample and constant. A young man with a mechanical turn of mind, whose determination to excel will carry him through the drudgery and training necessary to develop a judi­ cious eye and a sure hand may look forward, if he learns a trade to a social position and an ample fortune. Our railroads, machine-shops, foun­ dries and factories are incessant in their demands for master mechanics and me­ chanically-trained superintendents who have the brains to devise and the hands to execute. Many of the capitalists of Fall River, Lowell and Lawrence be­ gan life iu the mill or the machine shop. They mastered their work and thereby won promotion and a fortune. The papers have noticed recently the case of a manager of the Williman<> tic Mills, in Connecticut, who has been invited to a position in the Pullman Car Company, with a salary of $20,000 a year. A few years ago he was a ma­ chinist in the Lowell Machine Shop. His trained brain and hand secured him rapid promotion. There are great prizes to be won in all mechanical in­ dustries, by young men of talent and pluck, who are willing that sheer merit shall bring them success., To Forget Misery* Seine great writer has written, "The way to forget our miseries is to remem­ ber our mercies." That is splendid in theory, but it is the hardest tiling in the world to practice. When a person is perfectly miserable, it is impossible to forget it, and to go to work and try to think of some mercy that has been en joyed at another time, is simply im- u« iku it un to 111s son riarrv. possible.' The misery of the present "Well, he did; but that was only an 111- Smocks all thoughts of the mercy of the I direct way of leaving it to Scroggins." IMSTIUIFORSCAMA, Weights and MoMaraa at UM itnrtewHi In the ancient Egyptian belief the hearts of ill the deedwere weighed be- fure Osiris in the Hall F«rfect Jus tiee, and a papyrus representing the rit- nal for the dead, preserved in the Brit­ ish Museum, pictures the ceremonv of the weighing "for good or evil,1* and in­ cidentally affords an excellent view of the scales of early Egypt. In these scale3 the balance beam is neither sus­ pended by the center, as in the modern form, nor after the form of the steel­ yard, but is arranged with a shifting fulcrum, the adjustment of which shows the difference between the weights of two objects. The weights used were of metal in the form of rings, and it mav be said in general that this was the pre­ vailing type of all early weights. These scales, it will be observed, are by no means of the simplest form, or that which wOuld naturally first suggest it­ self to mankind, and this fact argues the employment and gradual improve­ ment of weighing apparatus long ante­ rior to the date of this papyrus (1350 B. C.). We have no knowledge of their earliest invention or forms. The dis­ covery of their uses has been attributed to many geniuses, and doubtless with something of truth in the individual cased. Pliny credits them to Phidon of Argos, Gellius says that Palamedes in­ vented them, and a host of writers fol-, lowing in their wake, each crowns his own particular inventor with the hon­ or. Among others Jnao peara out the urn, and Vatem elalms # The sodfpaa the lost product ot.his flames. But certain it is that thay have been known and tried from titne immemori­ al. Their known existence, howerer, dates back very far, and puts to the blush the fictitious origins attributed to them. When in 1860 B. C., Abraham weighed out 400 shekels of silver as consideration for the first real estate transfer of which history makes men­ tion, he used them, and they are fre­ quently referred to in the Bible, in Zec- hariah, Leviticus, etc. The earliest scales were temporary, simply a beam balance in a stirrup, the weights being arbitrary and varied, thongh, as above stated, usually in the form of metal rings. In ancient Egypt they were strictly under the superintendence ot the priesthood, and so continued until that people came under the Roman sway. They were kept in the public* markets, as whs also the practice in Greece and modern Egypt. The larger scales were constructed on the same principle of the beam and stir- rup, with the addition of a flat board or platform suspended from each end of the beam by four ropes or chains. In all scales accuracy and the quality of tarning under the slightest possible ineqnality in balancing weights are the highest desideratum, and so great haa been the perfection obtained by means of knife edges and agate planes in some of the finer scales that the declaration to Shy look that * * * If the scale turit But In the estimation of a hai& Thou dteat, be robbed of its terrofc The English mint is said to possess a scale which turns at a 1-9000000 of the weigh­ ing capacity. In all ages the scales have been the emblems of justice, and it is to be hoped that the latter has kept pase with the improvements of its emblem.--In­ dustrial World. * rani asp FOOT. Tn girl with a Mobile face lives in Tips in Paris. In private life every service rendered by one*s inferiors and servants is equal­ ly expected to be rewarded, not only throughout the year, but at the begin­ ning of the next besides. The waiter who tends upon one. in the restaurant receives upon an average 4 pence a day for serving one with two meals--6 pounds 1 shilling 8 pence per annum; the waiter at the cafe receives 2 pence --3 pounds 10 pence per annum; the barber expects 2 pence each time he cuts your hair--4 shillings; the attend­ ant at the bath ditto. Seeing that a warm bath is out of question in an or­ dinary French apartment, one goes at least twice a week--17 shillings 2 penoe >er annum. The concierge expects at east 10 francs each time' the rent, is paid, which is four times a year--total, pound 12 shillings. Woe betide the tenant who fails in this latter quasi- voluntary contribution. His most inti­ mate friend will be told he is not at home when he has made a most import­ ant appointment; he himself will be left at the street door after dark until he be clammed with cold or weary with waiting. If the question be asked: "How does the concierge know that it is the defaulter in question who is pull­ ing the bell?" the answer is, the con­ cierge does not know; but according to her lights, if there be one black sheep in the house, she indiscriminately in­ flicts suffering upon every inmate. The i;ood pay for the bad; that is the max­ im, from which there is no appeal. The landlord sides with his understrapper. If he should dismiss her, the chances are that the house falls from the frying- pan into the fire. An old Anglo-Paris­ ian whose concierge was ill was heard to express the hope that she would get over it. "You like her very much?" asked his friend. "Not so," came the answer; "but I prayed for the removal of her predecessor, and we got worse; I prefer putting up with the known evil." No Parisian will quarrel with his concierge; if he does, his life will be a misery ever afterward. Until 3 o'clock in the afternoon he will live upon a desert island. Not till that hour will his letters and newspapers come to hand.--Cor. London Globe. The Social Idiom. Mrs. Maloney's husband haa made money, and that lady is anxious to en­ ter society. "There is to be a full-dress party at Col. Swain's," said a friend of Mrs. Maloney's who had leas money and more position. "Sure iVe got the tickets of invite," said Mrs.<$L, produoing them. "And I'm going, too." "Shall you go decolletee?" asked her friend. 'To call at tay ? Indade I'll go when the rest do, if it's at tay or coffee,"' she answered quickly.--Detroit Free Press. The t rie-is. A gentleman was dispatched for the doctor at a very early hour in the morn­ ing and on his return home was in­ formed that a little daughter had been added to the household. "A daughter?" "Yes," replied the nurse, "a sweet lit­ tle toosty, wootsy of a girl." "Thank Heaven," replied the father, "the cry-sis has arrived."--Carl Pret­ zel's Weeklu. - . PROF. BLACKIE confessed to speaking from experience wheri I10 characterized courtship "as a period of ecstatic wor­ ship," and the time following it one of "evangelical tolerat'on,'" which is ,-a grand school of sanctidoation." Tn dock in the steeple liaa a hiaJp old time of it ^ "You tickle me~«ad 111 tickle yon," *": is a poli-tickle trick. TBKBK are some editors who shonki^ ' be pen-ahnnned.--Carl PretteVs Weeklyl VIRGINIA is a grand old State. She^ has more ter-haoker than any other.--'Y Texas Siftings. * , A MOSQUITO would make a good Cen<^ft}: gressman; he can always get his biii • through.--Newman Independent. .A MAN named Gasbill wished change his name because his girl al-* ways objected TO his figure whenever^ he'd meter. She said he was too high/ and turned him off. > CoNGBESSMAH JoHH FlWEBTT de-, elares that our flag has been digraced on American waters. That's nothing, John. ^ Some of our naval officers have, been disgraced on Amepicsn whisker, sr -Texat, Siftings. 1 "Is IT a sin," asked a fashionable lady" of her spiritual director, "for me to feel pleasure when a gentleman says If am handsome?" "It is, my daughter," he replied gravely; "we should never> delight in falsehood." A PAIR of socks 2,000 years old have been discovered in an Egyptian tomb. It is evident that the socks belonged to a country editor who could not afford' , to have them washed oftener that every 2,000 years. Soc et tuum.--Newman* Independent WKBN you see two lovers hanging; over a gait, chewing gum:) and relating? little love stories, don't make the asser-' tion that they are telling wicket lies,' nor rail at tnem for so doing. They may not be de-fenceless. A bull dog may be behind them.--Carl PretgeV$ Weekly. * K TOUNO lady said to her bean, 1 m glad the U<MD'S oomla* down MKB, Because now, Iknean, S > i We'll a-ale ph riding man, go hall to the beantilul sneau!" The youth shook his head and he I'm sorry." he sadly rppllghed; "1 can't hire a plelgh. For I'm dead broke todetgh. And the pleasure to na is denighsd." STABS OK THE ICS. A cmtleyonth on Annie eroged -With, ob, such tender ey=s. She paused a moment on her skatas And spoke w.th soma snrorlie. "OhI tell me wby, my srentle youth. Why do you gaze 011 me?" "Because,' he said, '"youarethastar That rules my dostiny." But Annie, sore p-rplexed. replied, "That cannot stn-e be so. It sterna to me yon make a star. No matter where you go." He strode away upon his skates. With air as brave as Mars. Then tumbled flat npon his Exclaiming, "Ohl my stars." -JTlie Judge. THB QIPL ON BOLLIB BKATBS. With eyes as bright As stars at night And cheeks a charming pink; And 'witching air, A vision fair, She whirls around the rink. Bonnd and round the 1 . Like a bird npon the ' How pny she fe?ls Upon the wh-el". , ,r\ The airy, fairy thing! Hew bright her fkeel • • v • What charming grace Her »upnle form revMfUl . In beauty's pride v... - Behold her glide, A symphouy on wheels. - •' '•'» * Ronnd and round the rtig§L~ liiko a bird upon the wljjg? , How niiy fhe feels' Ai v i-, Upon the w he -•Is, - " •*>?., The alxv, fairy thing! --Somemille Jounml "THAT Mrs. Brown is just as mean as she can be! Why, would you believe it, she told me to my face that I dressed too young for a woman of my years ? The idea!" "She did? Well, if she talked to me in that way, I believe I'd have told her just what I thought of her." "Oh, no, dear: that would be rude." "Possibly." "But I did better. I told Mrs. Smith what my opinion of Mrs. Brown was, and Mrs. Brown will hear it soon enough. And then, you know, it won't lose anything in Mrs. Smith's mouth. It is one of my princi­ ples, love, never to do anything disa­ greeable when I can get somebody else to do it for me." ^ Topnoody. Mr. Topnoody sat at the supper table Tuesday evening as his wife cleared away the things, and after a moment's silence he remarked: "My dear, do you know what day the day after to-morrow will be ?" "Of course I do; it's Thursday." "I don't mean that, my dfear. Do yon know what anniversary it will be?" "I don't recall." "Why, my dear, don't you know thai it is the anniversary of our marriage? On that day, thirty-five years ago, we were made man and wife and--" "And I've had a grudge against that preacher ever since," interrupted Mrs. Topnoody. m "And," he continued, not noticing it, "since that day, hand in ha;'.d, we have gone along the pathway of life, gather­ ing its thorns and flowers, bearing one another's burdens and sharing one another's happiness. Whatever of sor­ row we may have had, my dear, has been lightened by dividing it between us, and whatever of joy, has been doubled by a mutual possession." "That sounds like you had been reading a novel, Topnoody." "No, dear, it i» merely the outgrowth of a pleasant retrospection. Do you know, my dear, it seems to me but yes­ terday since I saw the orange blossoms in your hair, and heard the music of the mystic words which joined two hearts and two lives in a unity blessed of Heaven. Has time soed on winged feet for yon, my dear ?" "Not hardly, Topnoody." "But, my dear, how long have tho joyous moments seemed to you ?" "Well, Topnoody, I haven't figured it out quite as fine as hours and moments, but taking it in a lump, I should say it had seemed about four thousand years. I might throw off an hour or two on an exact calculation, but not more than that, Topnoody." Mr. Topnoody didn't nsk for an exact calculation. --Merchant Traveler. Pancakes Cooked by Lightning. Soma parties in Canada are reported to have invented a machine for cooking by electricity. It consists of a sauce­ pan or hot plate so isolated by non­ conductors that the bottom forms a positive pole of a current. The other pole is attached to a moveable point, which travels over the under surface of the pan in circles sufficiently quick not to burn a hole through. Some cakes were cooked in the apparatus and eaten 'by the inventor and his family, who are believed to be the first members of the human race who have eaten food cooked by the electric spark. One lady declared she tasted the flavor of elec­ tricity "quite.' strong." -- Electrical World. • ' TV IIAT a world of gossip would be preveuted if it was only remembered that a person who tells you of the faults of others intends to tell others of- youx. faults.