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' <• "' ^ ; ' --• '•- v • \ „-: Harnett flaindfalet 1. VAN SLYKE. E< Reread MMMher. MoHENRT, ILLINOIS - VI WKBK A FLOmp^i fcT K.XDIA X. WHiiB. 1TT -were a flo-.vi i , In thy path I wonld toe. First of spring flower* To pay homage to thee. If I were ft flower, 1B thy BOTTOW or gloom, I'd offer thee freely All my brightness ud bloaaL If then wonld'st look loTin* And kindly on me, I'd give all my life's sweetaeee And glory to thee. ' If I were a flower. On thy breast I would He, And hear thy. heart beating. And feel thy least sigh. If then wouldst bnt call me Thy treasure, my dear, I'd bloom at thy smiling. And droop at thy tear. I'd hear thy heart beating. And feci thy least High; Then triad on thy bosom , H o w u e a c c i u l --Shmoreat'a Monthly. ' "BCOTTt;" . fiootty's dead! Of course he is! Just that same old luck of his!-- JJver «ence we went ckhoots He's been first, you bet your hootel ^ • When onr schoolin'just begu»i~ ' ' Gottwo wliippln's to my one:, ,, ' ; Stole and smoked the iirnt cigtt; Stood up first before the bar, - * Drinkin' whisky straight--and me •. Was tin' time on blackberry! ' Beat mc in the army, too, And clean on the whole way "through! ". In more scrapes around the camp. And more troubles on the tramp; Foupht and fell there by my side With more bullets in his hide, And more glory in the cause,-- That's the kind o' man he was! Luck liked Scotty more than mr I got married; Scotty, he Never even would apply For the pension money I Had to beg of Uncle Ham-- • That's the kind o' cuss I am! Bcotty always first and best-- lie the last and ornriest! Yet, for all that's said and done-- All the battles fought and won-- We aint prospered--him nor me-- Hoth as poor as poor could be, Though we've always, up till now, , Stuck together anvliow- - Bcotty always, as I've said, • Luckier, and now he's dead! > --i/m. WUiU omb i,ile>j, in the Current. A NARROW ESCAPE. BY MRS* M. L. RAYNE. " said Mrs. Stebbins, bold ing up a thick envelope. "Here's a let­ ter for you. 'Taint from Brother Will, nor from Sile's wife. Wliose been a writin'tew you, d' you think?" Farmer Stebbins took off his warm ooonskin cap, lied the ears together, and hung it up; then he felt in each pocket for hia horn spectac'es. "They're in the Bible where you left them last night, pa," said his daughter. Then she produced them, and he fitted them over his nose and held the letter oat a good arm's length before him. "J-o-lirn S-t e-b-b-i-n-8," read the old farmer slowly and in a loud voice. "That's me for sure. Now the question, is, as you say, whese been an' writ to me." "For mercy fake do open it," said Mrs. Stebbins. "I shall fly if yon set there and finger it any more 'thout knowin' what it means." "Yes, pa, do read it," urged the daughter. "Maybe its an offer of a school for me." "Like enaffl like enuff!" answered her father. "Let's see what the post mark is. Why it's Bosting. Bosting ez «ure ez I'm a livin' man." "Call me if you happen to need me," said Mrs. Stebbins. with a fine sarcasm. "I'm goin' out to set the salt-risin' for the bread." "Gimme the stamp, pop," said John Jacob Stebbins, Jr. "They're don't no­ body rite to us only Hetty's beau, and he don't send enny thing but podtal keerds." By this time Mr. Stebbins had slowly and laboriously succeeded in getting the envelope off the letter. A bank check for $10,000 fell out. It was beautifully printed in green' and gold, and indorsed on its back with the name on its face; not a line accompanied it. "G-r-e-a-t Jerusalem!" exclaimed the farmer, "here's a windfall. Now who do you 'spose wife ever sent me sich a heap of money ?" "The land knows," said his wife who had done nothing but stare at the check. "D'ye 'spose Uncle Silas has come back from furin parts, and died and left mo the hull of his estate?" "He never did such a thing before," said Mrs. Stebbins, innocently. " We can move into town now," said Betty, proudly. "So we kin," said John Jacob, Jr.. "and I'll have a vlosspede and a bisikel and wear plaid close and bang my hair, hooray! Won't we big apples swim tho'." "Stop your noise," said the perplexed farmer, looking in the direction of a birchen stick that protruded from the clock-shelf. "You needn't think you'll git till you want 'cos I'm rich. I can find lots of places for money, an* don't you forgot it, young man!" " Feyther," said Mrs. Stebbins, "there's only one thing I've alius want­ ed to hev in case we ever got rich, an' now I kin hey it It seems to good to be true." "Some fol-de-rol, I suppose; out with it then, you haven't been half a bad wife, and I don't mind letting you hev one silk gown, if it don't come too dear." "But it ain't a silk gown, feyther," said Mrs. Stebbins bridling. "Oh, it a gold neckcbain. is it, with a . watch dangling on the end. so ye can see how you waste time Well, if I did get this money easy. I don't stand no sort of chance of foolin' it away. I know its real vally too well." "I guess wliat's yourti is mine," said Mrs. Stebbins shortly.; "An' what's mine is my own; I'm go­ ing to build on a new wing to the house with this, and buy in sotue fine stock, and the meadow lot so Hetty can live with us when she gits married to Jim Vance." "Indeed! Jim Vance! I guess I'll go to the city and get acquainted with iolks, now we've got money," said Miss Hetty. "Jim is only a common farm­ er boy; not but what lie is a good fel­ low, but mol be I can do better now." John Jacob Jr., gavo a long whistle. "I wouldn't give up Jim till 1 #e the oilier feller, Het," he said |>rovokingh\ "It's time the bread-risin' was set," suggested Hetty to her mother. "You can set it then," retorted Mrs. Stebbins crossly ; "I've worked and slaved for'your fevther nigh on to thir­ ty years, and he never refused me be­ fore. lint money has made 4him hard­ hearted." v •• • "Mercy on us, woman, what is it you want?" he growled. "A--a--earners hair shawl all--all-- border." cobbed his Avife. "(ireat Jerusalem, woinai, tliero isn't a camel nearer'n a thousand miles of us. How kin I git hair to make yer a shawl ?'• "He never called me 'woman' be'ore," sobbed his wife. "To think 1 should ever be called 'a woman' by my own husband, too. Oh, John Jacob' Steb­ bins, what a shame to let money htrfw your very soul in this here way." "It's enough to drive a man destract- ed, crazy," sa d the farmer, stamping around the room; "you, John, go and feed the caowa. I clean forgot them.'? "I ain't agoin' to feed no caows enny- tnore; you kin hire another man," suid •he youth spreading himself. Mr. Stebb ns rose and took down the Ineans of grace from behind the clock, but with a mocking laugh the youth fled out of teach. "What's the matter with you,Hetty ?" asked the unhappy man, as he saw large tears rolling down his daughter's face. "Oh, pa, it's so hard to bear. Just to think that I--boo--hoo--may have to Wear diamond ear-rings, and I (sob Job) never had my ears bored." "I d be mighty glad to change places iwith you," muttered the angry farmer. Then, going up to his wife he placed Jiis hand on her bony shoulder. . "Come, wife, cheer up. If there's a .camel t > be had for love or money you fchall have that shawl. I s'pose I tnoughtez well give in fust ez last Cheer up, old woman!" » "Old woman!" shrieked Mrs. Steb- bins. "He called me old. Have I lived all these long yearn to have that man ^ell me to my face I'm old. John Jaoob Stebbins, I hate you! I s-c-o-r-n you! Keep your money! I'm a-goin' to leave you! Yes! I will have some thin' new. 'J'll hev a divorce!" Mrs. Stebbins threw her check apron over her head and sobbed aloud. "Great Scott!' exclaimed the be- wilderdered man. "what's going io come next? Hetty, me and your mother never hed a rale qnarr'l yet, and hero she is a-talkin' of a divorce and John Jacob a-sassin' me to my face; it's all ion akkount of that miserable consarned money. Take the check and send it back to the unknown fiend as sent it; nary cent ot it will I tech." "I ain't afraid of it. pa." said Hetty, wiping her tears away. Then she began to examine the check with a look of sudden interest. At last she exclaimed loudly: "Why, pa! You never read it!" Then slie laughed; slowly at first, then louder and harder till she had a regular fit of hysterics. Mrs. Stebbins ran for remedies and Mr. Stebbins pounded her on the back. When she got her breath again she nearly repeat­ ed the operation, ami each time that she looked at the check she went into spasms of laughter. "It's nothin'," she gasped, with a re­ ference to the check she still held in her extended hand, "nothin'in the world but an ad vertisement." "The fools ain't all dead yet." said the farmer dryly; "I might lia' knowed there was a catch somewhere." "I must set the bread-risin'," said his wife demurely, as she folded her tent like the Arabs and s-ilently stole away. "I've fed the critters," said John Ja­ cob, Jr., who had been listening at the door, and now put in a shame-faced ap­ pearance. "I'm thankful I escaped a livin' man," said the farmer, as he tore the bogus check into a thousand pieces. "There's a man at the, door," said Hetty. "Why it's Jim Vance--deai Jim," and she hastened to welcome him in.--Free Press. MABRIAGE OF MONSTROSITIES. The Fat Beaaty and the Lean. This is the fate of the fat beauty: At 12--Plump, fat and ruddy. Weight seventy pt unds. At 16--Plumper, fatter, exuberant and a bursting bud. Weight, 120 pounds. At 20--A blossom bloomed, roluptu- ous, exuberant Weight, 160 pounds. At 25--A full-blown Juno. Massive, statuesque. Approaching heroic size. Imposing. Begins to find car seats too small. Wedges when she sits down. Very exuberant. Weight, 180 pounds. At 30--Matronly. Imposing* still, but the finer contour of form swallow­ ed up slightly in adipose. Magnificent but barrel-like. At 35--Large. Too large. Com­ plexion brick red. Double chin. Short of breath. Weight, 20i> pounds. At 40--Gone. Remains of a once magnificent woman. Vast remains. Im­ posing ruins. More double chin. Walk a waddle. Sad. Weight, 220 pounds. --The Gra h c. This is the fate of a thin beauty. At 12--Sickly, palo and uninterest­ ing. Weight, forty pounds. At 16--Delicate, slender, sprightly and graceful. Weight 80 pounds. At 20--A study for a painter. Lithe, sinuous, Grecian in face and mold. Weight, 100 pounds. At 25--Queenly in form and motion, with a peachy complerion, small deli­ cate hands and wee little feet. Weight, 120 pounds. At 30--Beginning to fade; veins show on hands, cheek bones just indicated. Weight, 105 pounds. At 35--Eyes rotreating fine lines on forehead; cheeks concave; form wiry. Weight, ninety pounds. At 40--Face hatchet shaped; nose and chin very sharp; two lioies where the cheeks were; hands like claws; form all gone; a living skeleton. Weight, sev­ enty pounds. Moral--You buys your wedding ring and takes your choice.--Philadelphia CalL He Caught On. A peasant one day put on a new Pa­ per Collar and creased his Boots with Chicago butterine and hied himself to the Town and to the Office of an Insur­ ance Company, where he Demanded the sum of One Hundred Dollars. "For what-?" asked the President. "Because I have kept my house in­ sured with you for a Thousand Dollars for these last fourteen years, and it has never burned and caused you loss." Then the President called him a Wooden-Headed C.irrot nnd other Se­ lect Names and ordered him to Cheese tho Backet. The Peasant was looking about Town for the aforesaid Cheese when a Lawyer winked him into a stair­ way and said: •'Foolish man! An Insurance Compa­ ny pays not for what you save, but for what vou lose. Fee, $50. MORAL--The Insurance Company has settled the Loss at f 1)00. A TABLESPOONKI l of borax put in the last water in which clothes are rinsed will whiten them surprisingly. Pound the borax so it will dissolve easily. This is especially good to remove the yel­ low that time gives to white garments that have been laid aside for two of three years. " IF baby is hoarso at night take a small piece of oil silk rub a little lard or animal oil of any kind over it and fasten it next h s sk n, over the chest. It may be pinned with small safety-pins to his wrapper- RaenllectloM mt • Veteran Showman, _ "When John O'Brien, the well-knowti circus man, was in the high tide oi prosperity," said W. C. Coup, the veteran showman, to a Chicago repor­ ter, "among the attractions in the re­ tinue of side-shows lollowing his tent there was a freak known as Walter Stewart. Ihis human monstrosity was without legs or hands, but he had short, stubby arms, and it was considered au interesting £ght to see him shave himself by the use of these h ilf-formed limbs. Althonch repulsive in other re­ spects, it is faid that Stewart posse-* ed avernge intelligence. One season. O'Brien was accompanied on his tour by a charming and beautiful young daughter. Kitty was her name, and she was the idol of her amusement-lov­ ing parent. He was wo tli at least $250,000 at that time, and he lavished every attention upon his be'oved child. Kitty had her own will in almost every­ thing. She got arguainted with the side show monstrosity, Walter Stewart, and day after day went surreptitiously to converse with him. At length, be- for the father had the slightest inkling of the course affairs had taken, his daughter had become strangely in- fatuated with, and secretely married, the de ormed creature. O'Brien, in his anger, cast her completely off, and never spoke to either of the two after­ ward. But Kitty clung stoutly to her choice, ministering to his wants, ac- coinpaning him in shows and museums, and to all appearances loving him. "Perhaps you remember John Bat- tersby, the skeleton man. No? Well- John was long a great card for side­ shows and museums, and, by the way, I think he is still living. It is wonder­ ful how long these skeletons do live. Battersby was married some twenty years ago to 'Hannah,' the fat woman of Maine, after which they always made engagements and. traveled together Hannah was the biggest fat woman I ever saw; tf o. She weighed upwards of 500 and there was over 400 pounds difference between the weight of hus­ band and wife.. The union, I believe, wo8 blessed with several children "William Thompson, a steamship en­ gineer, became infatuated with Ann E. Leak, a woman wi'liout arms, and mar­ ried her some ten years ago. They subsequently went to Australia togeth er and, I am told, made a good deal of money. She has been seen with all the big shows in this country time and time again. They have a very fine boy, and the mother can crochet, knit, sew and write with her toes as well as most la­ dies can with their hands. "And then there was Mme. Myers, the bearded lady--you have seen her? She became the wife of Amos Myers, ol Otsego, New York, seven or eight years ago. and they have traveled together with all the shows since at different times. He seems as careful and proud of her as of a babe. "Dont you remember that balloon marriage of two of my people at Cin cinnati ? In 1875, a.sliort time before Prof. Donaldson made his fatal trip from Chicago, he took up Charley Col ton, my assistant treasurer, and a pret­ ty hippodrome rider and chariot driver whom Colton made his bride high up in the air. I went up with them and we had a gay time. Over 50,000 people saw us start on the eventful voyage. Poor Donaldson! it was the last wed­ ding he ever witnessed. "Chang, the Chinese giant, eight feet high, was first wedded to a very dim­ inutive woman of his own country. She accompanied him on his exhibition tours, and at length died in Europe. Then Chang, when the season of grie had passed, sought and won the hand of an Englishmoman, of 140 pdund> weight, at Manchester. She still re sides there, and has three ch ldren. When the father goes homeapd reache- out his hand in greeting, they always think he has brought home a smoked ' ham. "Chemah, the Chinese dwarf, became the legally wedded husband of a youm girl named Blackmore, who fol oweil him from Brooklyn to Chicago about a year ago. She weighs 150 pounds. '"Eli Bowman, the man who has feet growing out of his body, and no legs lias been married twelve years and has a wife and thiee children living at Beading, Michigan. "Anna Jones, tho celebrated 'Esau child,' with Barnum several years ago united her destiny with that of l)icl; Elliott, a side-show talker, and she has since grown an elegant crop of beard. They have made much money. '"Col. Goshen, the well-known giant now employed commercially in Chicago, had a wife who deserted him and carri ed away part of his fortune." A Very Narrow Escape. "Doctor," exclaimed a man, rushing breathlessly into the office of tfliom^o pathic physician, "you know that box of pills you left at my house last even­ ing, with instructions that on no account must my wife take more than one every two hours?" "Yes, yes," said the doctor, with visi­ ble alarm, "they are very powerful 1 trust your wife hasn't exceeded the pre­ scribed dose?" "No, but my little three-year-old boy got hold of the bottle during the night and swallowed every pill iu it." "Where is the boy?" demanded the doctor, risine hastily. "When I left the house he was out in the bac k yard stoning a cat."*' "Well," the physician replied, resum­ ing his seat, "here is another bottle o pills, but be very careful to follow the instructions concerning your wife. In her weakly condition might prove dis astrous." "But what shall I do about the little boy ?" asked the anxious father. '"Just keep the pills out of his reach and they won't hurt him any."--Phila- 'delphia CalL Afraid of 0 hosts. • "Papa," said a little Miss. I dofr't care to go out in the back room and ge' a drink of water." "Why, my child--it is hardly dark,' 6a;d the father. "Well, I don't want to go; I am afraid of ghnsts." said the little one. "Pshaw! my little girl--there are no such things as ghosts." "Yes. there is, papa; for Dr. K told us at'Sabbath school, just this ft! teruoon, that the Holy Ghost was every where." The father could not deny this truth­ ful statement, and concluded that ther< w^ j^sts--Carl Pretzel a Weekly. A Broad View. Do not be desirous to have thing done quickly; do not look at small ad­ vantages. Desire to have things don- quickly, prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advan tages prevents great afiairs from being, accomplished.--Confucius. THE cause of ail taffy--'lassee. ' Concerning Calendars. A definition of the word calendar is given as a method of numbering and arranging days, weeks, months, and years; also as a mechanical contrivance for registering that arrangement Various nations and sects have adopted different methods of measuring time, dating from some real or imagin­ ary epoch in their existence. The following are the principal calendars, and show the place that the year 1883 will occupy in the world's history. Auno mundi (year of the world), 5,b88. Anno Domini (year of our Lord), 1,883. Jewish year, 5,643. Julian period, 6,595.^ > Hegira, or flight of ffatttrt&et, 1,298. A. I'. C. foundation of Borne, 2,635. Independence of the United States, 106-7. Reign of Queen Victoria, 45-6. Science fixes the year 1883, A. D., an the 5,Shi d year since the cre ition of the w rid; the Julian period places it as the 6,5J5th. For all practical pur- posea the one answers as well as the other. The Jewish year is bated upon the calculation that the world was created o,7t>0 years before Christ was born, which, added to those since the birth of Christ, gives 5,643 as the Jewish year of the world. The Jewish year is sup­ posed to have varied at different periods in length, consisting of twelve or thirteen months of twenty or thirty days each. The Roman calendar divided the year into three months, comprising 304 days, about 738 years before Christ. This year was fifty-one days leBs than the lunar year, aud sixty-one days less than the solar year, corresponding in no degree with the present seasons. The Julian calendar was based upon the solar year of o65 days and six hours, 45 B. C. The Emperor Julius Casar, acting upon the evidence and advice of astronomers, made provision, at this time, for the excess of the solar year over the number of days by introducing bissextile or leap year, when the year was 3(H) days, the name being derived from two sixes. The Gregorian calendar commenced in 1582, A. D. At the time of the Julian reform the true solar calendar was known to be composed of 3.>5 days, five hours and forty-nine minutes. In 1582 this difference had amounted to ten days. To correct this error Pope Gregory ordained that that year should have only 356 days, by which order the 5th of October became the 15th of October. To prevent a recurrence of this difficulty it was ordered that the first year in each century should not be bissextile or leap year excepting every fourth century. Thus the first years of the eighteenth and nineteenth were not leap years, and 1900 will not be, but the year 2000 will be, bissoxtile. Iu this way the difference between the civil and the natural year will not amount to a day in 5,000 years. In Spain, Portugal, and part of Italy, the Pope was exactly obeyed. Iu France, the change took place in the same year, by calling the 10th the 20th of Decem­ ber. In the Low Countries, the change was from the 15th of December to the 25th; but it was resisted by the Protest­ ant part of the community till the year 1700. The Catholic nations, in : eneral, adopted the style ordained by their sovereign pontiff; but the Protestants would not receive even a purely scientific improvement from such hands. The Lutherans of Germany, Switzerland, and of the Low Countries at length gave way in 1700, when it had become necessary to omit eleven in­ stead of ten days. A bill to this effect had been brought before the Parlia ment of England in 1585, but does not appear to have gone beyond a Becond reading in the House of Lords. It was not till 1751, and after great incon­ venience had been experienced for nearly two centuries from the difference of the reckoning, that an act was passed (24 Gqorge II., 1751) for equal­ izing the style in Great Britain and Ireland with that used in other countries of Europe. It was then en­ acted that eleven days should be omitted after the 2d of September, 1752, so that the ensuing day should be the 14th. Russia is now the only country which adheres to the old style. The Brilliancy of Douglas. Stephen A. Douglas, who had just entered Congress as one of the seven Representatives from Illinois, wasprom- inent in procuring the passage of the bill refunding the fine of $1,0U0 wluch had been imposed on Gen. Jackson by Judge Hall, of New Orleans, twenty- five years before. It was for a con­ tempt of court, refusing to produce, in obedience to a writ of habeas corpus, a citizen arrested by his orders, under martial law, which be had proclaimed. When he afterward visited the Her­ mitage he received Gen. .1 ackson's ear­ nest thanks. "I felt certain in my own mind," said tho General, "that I was not guilty of violating the Constitution. But I could never make out a legal justification of my course, nor has it ever been done, sir, until you, OH the floor of Congress, established it beyond the possibility of a doubt. I thank you, sir, for that speeclu" This was the first move made by Mr. Douglas in his canvass for the Presi­ dency, but he was soon prominent in that class of candidates, of whom Sen­ ator William Allen, of Ohio, said: "Sir, they are going about tho country like dry-goods drummers exhibiting sam­ ples of their wares." Always on the alert to make good friends and to retain old ones, he was not only a vigorous hand-shaker, but he would throw his arms fondly around a man, as if lie possessed the first place in his heart. No statement was too cliary of truth in its compos tion; no partisan maneuver was too openly dishonest; no political pathway was too dangerous, if an op­ portunity waa afforded for making a point for Douglas. He was industrious and sagacious, clothing bis brilliant ideas in energetic and- emphatic lan­ guage, and standing like a lion at bay when opposed.--Ben : Per ley Poore. A Fact in Heredity. Once more the force of heredity has been illustrated in our city police courts. A young man who had robbed his employer of !}yi0 and subsequently made restitut on, and presented letters in his behalf by those who had known him to be honest formerly, was let off with a light sentence. During the pro­ ceedings it was discovered that the young man was the son of a noted burglar alias "Goody," who had been able to conceal his criminal name, life, and record from his wife and children. --Dr. Fonte'x Health Monthly. WHOSE ben works nre most trampled up. on? A sboeiriAk':r'*: because good shoes last .looser than bad ones. As Ore .on man wauts to trade a mulo for a wife. Some mou never know when they are we l o!'. A THRILLTHG EPISODE. A LwtnoMw Esgtsm't Iwitlnct--H«w H« tend a Train ud Bow Hi* Saved Hlm- MlIC On one of tin darkeet and stormiest nights of the rceent unusual winter, the express on one of the leading Kew York rai'roads was moving we twanl from Albany. The engine's headlight threw a strong reflection in ad' va.tee, but the storm «sko blinding it vras almost impos ible to dis In.^uish cn>thin/ e .cn at a short d-.stance, ( ndcr such c.r- cura tancoa Instinct necessarily takes t e piace of sight. Ail seemed to be going v ell. when, in an instant, the engineer reversed h.s eng.ne, applied the air t rakes, anJ ca e to a lull stop. Wiyhedld so he could not to I any more than an/ ot us can account tor the dread of comlnK disaster and deat aud to tuo wondering Inquiry of bis tire i.an he simply tald: '1 feel that fometh ng's wrong." Seizing a lantern he swung himtelf down rotn the cab and went forward t-> li.- vc6t;ga:e. Everything a • pea re J to le -ight, a id lie was about to re;urn to his en lne v ben his rye c.iught sight of a peculiar ap­ pearance ac tno .,oint of tho a'l next tohm. But hi.tg the accumulated snow a war, i« looked a moment, and then uttered an ex- cla . atlon of ho ror. 'lLe rti s on both 8 des had be n unsplked and would have turned over the in^-taut thj e lgine louche 1 t .e.ii. What inspi.ed this attempt at tra n- w racking >a unknown, but it w<is presumed the < on ederntes of some prisoi er who were on tbj train hoped, in t e ct.niusi.D of an acei ent, to doli.er ti eir friends. hng.ner John ionotoe, of Alt any, to wh s j wonderful instinct was due the salva­ tion of the ti ain, when asked by be wrl.er why he stopped his engine >aid: can't teli why. 1 only know I felt some­ thing was wrong." " l.o you have those feelings often when upon t .c roRdr" continued the writer. ".No. very soldom, a!>hough for the past twenty years I have been in a condition to feel apprehension at almost anything." " How is that/' "Why, 1 have been a victim of one of the wortt tases of dyspepsia e er known. 1 have not been confined to my hed, as, like thousands of others. 1 am compelled to work whether able or not. Indeed, when It trst l ejan I had only a loss of appetite, a faint leeling that would not go away, and a bad tas e in the mou h, but I finally got those t-r: ible craving and gnawing feelings that niakeli.eso unbearable, aud are known as genoral debility." What d.d you do?" "I tried pbyslc ans until I became discour­ aged. 1 pave eight different ones fair tests, but nono of thom bcne.ite t mo. 1 then tried proprle ary mod cincs, but they failed, like­ wise. It look.:d pretty dark tor me ; o far : s any IV oro i eace or en joy me it in thliworid were concerned, and I became terribly dis- con rap d." "You certainly do not look that way now." "Clh, n >, indeed, 1 am In perfect hea.th now." was the reply, ' and I proposo to con­ tinue so. My nervousness is entirely t one; 1 can sleep nights; the achinjr numbness has disappeared; the pale, sickly appearance has given i) I ace to the color o health, and 1 have lea ily p it oil t e-h. This is what has b.cn ac otnplishod by means of Warner's Ti. po- canoe. if I can be i ured after a ch onic ill- i:e~s of nearly a r.uartor of a century, I I e- lieve all su erin* in a similar manner cm be restored by using1 the samo great remedy." Mich is the testimony of a man who could decoct and remove unseen danger on tho roa I, but could not remove tl o dangers from within his own 8- s em until Drought la e to face w ith tho treat proparatk n above nan ed which did so much for h m and can do as much for all those who rorju'r»it. Flowers and the Tnlip Mania In Hol­ land. The Dutch claim to have done moro than any other nation in the advance­ ment of horticulture, and while they are not engaged so extensively in it now as formerly, there are the finest of flow­ ers to be seen anywhere, hyacinths and tulips being the favorites. The Dutch delight in these flowers at one time took the form of a mania, and speculators in bulbs gambled in them with as great a zest as a grain speculator does now. A little over two hundred years ago this gambling assumed enormous propor­ tions, and immense fortunes were won and lost through the medium of tulip bulbs. It is on rccord that one single bulb was sold for 13,000 florins, and that it was a matter of frequent occur­ rence for bulbs to run as high as 4,000 and 5,000 florins for moderately rare ones. Everybody caught the fever, Merchants, capitalists, and private in­ dividuals, even though they had not the slightest knowledge of horticluture, went into the speculation with the great­ est fervor, and enormous fortunes were amassed and lost in very short time. It is said that a little town in the neigh­ borhood of Haarlem made over ten mil­ lion of florins in one year by the sale of tulip bulbs. Although that was long ago, and tho mania was of short dura­ tion, the Dutch of to-day have not lost the fondness for flowers that has always characterized the nation. So where you will and you will see rase flowers. --Toledo Blade. Blae Grass Breeders. Mr. R. 8. Withers, of Fairlawn Stock Farm, I#exington, Ky., writes: "I hive such confidence iu St. Jacobs Oil. the great {Ktin cure, that I uso it on everything ; my­ self, my horses, my negroes. Everybody and every horse, for all kinds of aches and pains, believe in its sovereignty as a cure." Why OTonor Went to Nantuckct. It is asserted that the origin of Chas. O'Oonor's determination to remove to Nantucket arose from his association in a law case with a lot of very old people from that quaint island. Most of those with whom he had dealings were Octo­ genarians or nonagenarians, while the men and women of 70 and thereabout whom he met seemed to consider them­ selves still youthful. He therefore de­ cided that Nantucket would be a good place to live in when he got ready to retire from his profession. Capt. L. E. Morgan, who thirty years ago was a well-known shipmaster in the London packet line, a personal friend of Dick­ ens and other celebrated people whom he bad for passengers across the At­ lantic, once went to cnurch in a Con­ necticut village on Long Island Sound and saw so many gray-heads among the congregation that he resolved to settle down there upou leaving the sea. He did so, but, it happoned, only lived a year or two thereafter, in Bpite of the supposed healthfulness of thesurround- ings. lr you are troubled with sores, aches, pains, and general weakness of the various tioJily luiutions, don't be deceived by ti^o uil. tr.lseii.ents ol' b.tters, k d.iey medicines, cic., whose certiticates of pretended cuies are often paid for. Put your trust In that u miile remedy called Dr. tiuysott's Yellow Dock und Sai6a|>uriUu. It will euro you by purifying the blood und strengthening the weak poitionsof your body.' louwlhalso Lnd it very refreshing to the brain and uai'vous system. The proprietors rccei>e hundreds of letters Lestowing upon it tho highest ptaise. THE late Senator Carpenter once de­ scribed Alexander H. Stephens in this wise: "An empty coach halted at tho Treasury Department and Alack Stephens got out of it." Tlie liulu "I Three. Such (llseasen as dyspepsia, roastipatlon, and liver compHint arc su:jvf.-siv« of the healthful action of every organ. To th* speedy relief and ult mate eradication of thess foes to health, nostetter** Stunach Bitters is spec-ally adapted. It is botanic in compost ion, unobjectionable in flavor, and its laxative effect uj on the bowels is never aocomranled by the pain in the gastric and abdominal region which precedes the operation of the average cathartic. It does its remedial work t'.oroug'.ily, and is much to bo preferred to the cheap api>etizers r.nd loenWMtters some­ times sold as po^s ssinsr pr«^rMe- of a k n lred nature. Physicians who have tested this medi­ cine in practice, recommend it as an article worthy o' public and professional confidenoe. It cures ami prevents fevtr anil ngne. and o* er- comes rheumatism, kidney aud u.crine tr.ublefc HorafbrtTs Add Phosphate. A RKLIABUI ARTICLE. Dr. K. Cutter, Boston, Mass., says: M T fotiad it to realize theexi e tatons raised,and regard it as a reliable article." A SAIU>h is cai.ed an old salt because tne mfnut: he gets on shore,he is In a niakle.-- 1 hikuitlpMa Herald, LrniA E. PXNKHAM's Vegetable Compound is to be had at the nearest dr ig store for a dollar. It is notclaiinel that t'lis rcinoly will cure'ev# y disease under t .e sun; but that it do s all that it olalms to do, lhA^w It Of good women know and declare. T IB original D'Are horse is supposed to have been that which Joan flr^t ro le.--Somer- viUe Juurnnl. How to Secore Health. It Is strange any one will suffer from de­ rangement brought on by impure blood when Sco . Ill's Sarsaparilla and Stii:in la, or Blood and Liver Syri:p, will restore health to the physical organization. It is a strengthening syrup, pleasant to take, and the best blood purXer ever discovered, curing scrofula, syphilitic disorders, weakness of the kidneys, erysipelas, malaria, nervous disorders, debil­ ity, bilious complaints aid diseases of the blood, liver, kidneys, stomach, skin, etc. "Pat up" at the Gault House. The business man or tourist will find first" clhsa accommodations at the low price Of W and $ '.50 per day at the Gault House, Chica­ go, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-lamed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block front 'the Union Depot. Eilovator; all appointments first-class. H. W. HOYT, Proprietor. Write for • Copy. If you would like to know all about the re markable curative ngeut called Compound Oxygen, write to Trs. Starkey & l a en .1109 Gir&rd st,, Philadelphia, for their Treat.se on Compound Oxy«en 8enfcfre-\ FOR Dvsi'EifiiA, iki>I«JKSTIOS, depression of sp rits, and general debility in their variors forms; also, as a previ ntive against le er aiul agi:e, and t ther intermittent fevers, the " Ferro-Phcsjihorated Elixir of Cabaya," made by Caswell, Hasarcl 4c Co., of New lork, and sold by ull druggists, is the bost tonic; and tor patients rccoverltvsr from fever or other sickness it has no equal. THOUSANDS, yes. millions, of bottles of Car- tooline have been told, and the sale still to s on. If there were no merit in this preat nat­ ural hair rencwer do you suppt s? that the people would still buy, as they continue tto do. . "HOUGH ON-RATS." Clears ont rats, m'o«, flios, roaches, bed-bugs,ants, vermin, chipmunks. i5c. THE Frazcr Axle Grease is the Standard Axlo Grease of the world. THE HARROW ESCAPFC Off a WanackaicUi rngliiiii Tlislf Warning ot Mr. John Spencer, isfeowitlsfsl B. Sl A. U. B. Sleep after fatigue, sad health after dissass, MtSI of the sweetest experiences known to man. rears is a long time In which to suffer, yet Mr. Lawler, of Dalton. Mass., had led a miserable Ills tse that period through the presence of atocejp tier. That he Bought in all directions for a euro is SB almost superfluous statement. He did obtain t«M- porary relief, but nothing more. Last January he called on Dr. David Kennedy, of Rcndont. N. Y.. wbo eaid, after examination: "Mr. Lawler, you have i in the bladder. We will flret try DK. I»AVII) 1 KEDY'S FAVORITE REMEDY before l an operation." A few days later the following passed through the Bondout Postoffice: "DALTON, Maas., Feb.S "Pear Dr. Kennedy--The day after 1 came hoiasl passed two gravel stones, and am doing nicely new. "PITKH Lawutn." Dr. Kennedy now has the stones at his office, sol they are sufficiently formidable to Justify the i that KENNEDY'S FAVORITE REMEDY is I leading specific for stone in the bladder. In hia 1 Mr. Lawler mention* that FAVORITE REMEDY also cured him of rheumatism. The subjoined M£ tificate tells its own story: OLD P.FRKRHIR* MILLS, } DALTON, Mats.. April 27.18B.I Mr. Peter Lawler has been a resident of this tows for the past serr-nteen years and In our employ fcr fifteen, and in all these years he has been a good and respected citizen of the town and Community. Be baa had some chronic disease to our knowledge for most of the time, but now claims to be, and in. in ap­ parent pood health. Cms. O. BEUWS. Pre*. DIC DAVTossll onr rnbher hand stamps. Tsnss D'u r AI tree. Taylor Bros, k Co.. QevcUad.OhiO. "Rough on Itch" cures humors, eruptions, rlmt- Worm, letter, salt rheum, frosted feet, cliii olaliis. Tite short, hacking cough, which leads to 3on*umption, is cured by Fiso's Cure. "Buchu-Pai'a." Quick, (omp'ete cure, all annoyinn kidney and urinary riisea-es. $1. Piso's Cure for Consumption does not dry up a cough; it removes the cause. "Houg!i on Corns." 15c. Afk for it. Com­ pete, cure, hard or sol't corns, warts,bunions. THE GREAT GERMAN R E M E D Y FOR PAIN. Believes and cures RHEUMATISM, Nouralgia, Soiatiea, Lumbago, BACKACHE, HKADACH1, TOOTH A0H1, SORE THROAT, QUINSY, SWELLDOM, SPBAINS, tersnsss, Cuts, BuHsst, FROSTBITES. BURSII, NCAUM, And all other bodily aclMS and pal u«. FIFTY CENTS A BOTTLE. Sold by all Druggists and Dealers. Directions In II languages. £ The Ctiariss A. Vogeler Co. Hsiiiiim » A. voosi^a a cat RatUnon, Id., I. 8s A« |1 A |H Wholesale and retail. Send for price-list H A IK Goods sent C. O. D. Wigs made to order. IIvilli E- liUUNHAM. 71 State street. Chicago. A017V PATCHWOKK-Etegantly assorted Silk«. UngAI sop. ami SI a package; sample, 12c\ NEW YORK SILK AND SUPPLY CO.. 33S Broudway. DtTCUTC T Thomas P. Simpson, Wash- r #% R tZ lw I 9! in-rton, D. C. No pay asked forpat<>nt until obtained. Write for Inventors Guide. LC1QU Telegraphy, or Short-Hand and Type tHIln VVrinnjf H«•!•«•. Sitrationn lurnished. Address VALENTINE BROS., .lanosville. Wis. AGENTS WANTID for the bast and fastest-selling Pictorial Books and BU'les. ffduced ® per oent. NATIONAL PonLibHiA Co. Chicago, 111. GOSSAMER FIADMENTS FREE I To any readt r of tliin paid- who wili ami'" t<> show onr poodt- and try to intlin ro • saVs anion'-' lriends we will s n 1 postpaid two full « zes Ladies'Gossamer Hub!* r Waterproof liai mcnta as samples,"provided you cut this out and return with 24 ctn. to pay cost, post ipe. \-o. Address VICTOR RUBISEli (O. PoHton. Max*. Pain Is supposed to be the lot of us poor mortals, ss inevitable as death, and liable at any time to c;me upon ns. Tlieroiore it U important tli-it remedial awntt should b a! hand to lie used in an eniciyeucy. when we are made to feel the excruciating agonies oi pain, or the depn. s iinir influence of disease. Bucli a remedial aj-'ent exitit* in that old Reliable Family Remedy, PERRY DAVIft' P a i n - K i l l e r It was the first and Is the only perma­ nent Pain Believer. ITS MERITS AEE UJT8UBPA8SED. There it nothing to equal it In a few moments It cure* Colic, Cramps, Spasms, Heartburn, DK arrluca, Dysentery, Flux, Dyspepsia, Sick Hcadache. It is found to CUBE CHOLERA When all other Remedies fail. WHEN USED EXTERNALLY, AS A LINIMENT, nothing gives quicker easo in Burns. Cuis, Kiut*«?s, Sprain*. Stints from Iiim- ts. :tn<l Scalds. It removes the lire, and the wound heals like ordinary soie<. Thone Buffering with Rheuma­ tism, Gout, or Neuralgia, if not a positive cure, they find the PAIN-KI LI-LH trives tlieui relief when no Other remedy will. In suctions of the country where FEVER AND AGUE Prevails there is no reme ly held in i-n aVr esteem. Persons traveling should keep it by them. SOLD BY ALL DRUCCISTS. CATARRH THIS RtMEOt hwfever USA. was discovered by it:. li'Ftut proprietor* .nd if the result ot ev eruneutt based npoi. m.iiiy years'oxperien e Pharmacists. It :» wholly different frot'i ili oilier preparations' ever used for these tr.niMes; twin;; per ivrlv harm Vis and ;»lile: oirerini? ;n t, i se expo, t a marl e 1 lit |-:l»t t'» tiiO 1>AN- AM) 1IARMFV L Myt'IPS. SM'FFS AM' o m i iniziNo row iiKiis. Apply by the •wic'cr into the nostri Semi !or circular. .0 . .- luail. rosr stored. mtllTllLHS. Dm." i-ts. Ow. « '. N. V HAY-JrEVEft cents at Druggists'. ULS.STAMMflD.| JONES 5 T O N WAGON SCALES, <3 and JONfcSh© pars tar frwlfht--fr*« Trie* Lift menti-'R tb'* uUKMjftltn r*F 9l«8HA3rr!, isiafbuatwa, jV. Y« COUNTRY NEWSPAPERS Supplied with partly-printed sheets in the most i ta- tory manner. Send for s imples s-id r ' THE NEWSPAP1CB CHION. No*. 2.1 and OT 1 Street, Cldcago. Mme. L. LANCE'S PROTECTOR -AND-- SUPPiiRTER. Trice, SHk, Ll"en, Kcmittsne* with order. Se;it by Mail. S< n t for descriptive circular. 704 Broadwav, N. Y.City. AtiKNTS \V.YNTKD. K l D N E X - W O R T 2 DOES WONDERFUL CURES OP KIDNEY DISEASES AND LIVER COMPLAINTS, o Hecanse It sets on the LIVKU, ilDTTELS n4 KIDNEYS st tho ssme time. Because it cleanses tho system of the poison­ ous humora that develope u Kidney trad Uri­ nary Diseases, Biliousness, .Taundice, Constip*. tion. Piles, or in Eneumntisn, IieuraXgii»»JJjOP. vousDisorders nnd all Fcnm:c OomplainiSL' , arSOJJD PROOF OF THIS. ' IT vtxlxj CUIIELT cusa CONSTIPATION, PILES, and RHEUMATISM, By pausing FB.TR ACnOU cf all tiis cagMW and functions, thereby * CLEANSING the BLOOD restoring tlio normal power to t.'irow off dissas*. THOUSANDS OF CACCS of the worut forma of tlKso terrible diss--as have beeu quiokly relieved, und iu a aimrt time PERFECTLY CURED. nucK, #i. i.iqiin OR DRY, SOLO r.V pnccosTB. Dry can bo sent by mail. WXX£S,SlCXAIU>SG2f tc Co., BurUr.eton, Vt. 3 Scuil tiamp for IXr.rr AliuiaM fur 1^4 K I D N E Y - W O R 1 TRADE BITTERS Liver and Kidney Bamadj, | Compounded from the well known 1 Curatives Hops, Halt, Buchu, Man­ ifest Dandelion. Sarsaparilla. Ca»- cara Sagrada, etc., combined with t agreeable Aromatic Elixir. | THE? CUBE DYSPEPSIA ft UBIGESTIOS, j let npaa the Liver and Kidneys, I REGULATE- THB" BOWKLS.I |Thejr cure Rheumatism, and all Url-I nary troubles. They invigorate, Boorish, strengthen and quiet the Nervous System. K AE • Tonlo they HAVE no Equal. Take nans bet Hop* and Malt Bitters, -- FOR SALE BY ALL DEALERS.--I I Hops and Malt Bitters Co.l DETROIT, MICH. | DR. DAVIDS I KENNEDY'S Picuauiu to Take, Powerful to Cere* And \Vcle»«*e - In Every llssir. KIDNEY l>r. Kennedy's Favnr- i«e Itemed? is ;nt:ipt«.l to ;i.l aifH* and both HUCPS, ••>»- rrliig •« llll n••lit lolirf ia *:icat*t caus. <1 l>y lupnnjr nt the blent, such .v Kill- „ iicy. Bladder «nJ l.lvrr 'J .. i>... ( oavliiuitioiianil \* OiiLucaae* 'iVpnii" Mi'cci-s'fiil in cases wiicr* a'l «;!II t nn-di- mcs had ful.'d. N.i-u'tarwc ».muld de p»:- in* !on< aa th:» remvity i» untr.ed. It line an »m« ;IRO:,P-.I record i f KJCCCM U>t inaiv>* I'cais, ami lias v. mi hosts of warm frieiuls. Arx vim sjlTeritiff fr.nu any ili«•-*•> t il- II;WS ni'irioieii? If so. Ilr. Kennedy -t.iki>» his p?iaun.il a:itl profi'S-imi i| i**l»nf at '*#! e*l the staten.cat tliAt I'livoritl' Iti'iuff.l}' *'S S Km liili' liy ill ilr -.gListv nr write to Or. l)r.\td Kcnncd>» Itondool, N. V. i iswsj.'h'II 'I • jew--W Consumption Can Bo Cured. m HALL'S LONGS. BALSAM irei rmifiiimiitiini. Colds. I'lirmiioiti «. I i/ii.l!rou<hi»I Diltli'nUifi.Ui-wiu-liiti^.H" >>s. ,\slliiii:i. t'miitb. I Dis*>»st'a»ftlx- ISrvntliiiisrOrnuii.t. It «*i Cnrei Coiisumrtioti. Colds. I'lirumom i. Iiilhft* eii/ii.llrimi'liiiuOiltii' " lif>s. Asthma. Croup, »rmufii. --- till Discuses»t tlx- UrvHthiinrOi '.iu!!*. It nu*I lu'iiis the >l»'ii»ln-<»iu-«l tin1 l.iui^sin;bitil«l nitil i>oisi>i»«Ml by !!«• tlis4*;»s««. »ml |>iv».«*iits t(M> niirlit s\v«-.its uiut ti^hlnvss iii• ross tho iIwm which uot-ompany it. I'lmiuiut'tKMi i« n«l II VI.I,'> H»tiilciUS> you* even though [iroffSsiDa.il mil lulls. CURES Wrim AU Ult 1A.1S. fv f ri WHIiX WJUTIXii TO .lUVKKri-iK«|k >> plvase Ml r«tt tbo wlkvrUMiiisSl I), LLILK PAVER. 1 ! % '•W • VJ