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Vs " •' 7 yZ "' - AS JJ . .. LIFE IN SOU. 11 JLKifcj(JA. 1GRICULTIJBAL. PI'i'H A..to rvi&ii |gc||fnt|» fllautdcalcr :«ij*_ I. VAN SLYKE. Edlter «r id Publisher. McHENRY, ILLINOIS A rOETlCAL PRESCRIPTION. ^GIPIH*j?iIui8 r«i)m£K»i. Q. S- MeMft plve to the bearer the in mtmM poWtton; B«'H a pretty good chap, thoagu humble his staii-n. The fluid he craves Is known M "frumentam," And inv mime at the bot:cm wfjl tell you who s«nt him. Tj»e letters "q. R," to lie very c«T>licl% la a me iical dodge and means Quantum sufficit Bu> if or a faithful tr xisla ion yon pray for. It Is sinn ly th s--.ive him all he can ray for. His c; so Is severe, so | lease don't refuse it; He's a m- mher of the church and knows how to ns? i . Please<i >n'r f->il!ohonorthis,mvflr*t requisition IV* I'm sound on the poose, mnd an old-school physician. ~Jfo7ies, M. ft, inAsbury Park Journal CLE GlfFIX. O. TICKUOK. Out o' the focal ar.d foremost, fire, Oat of the hospital's walls as d:re{ Smitten o grape shot and gangrene, (Bight cnth < &ttle ?nd he sixteen!) Spectre, such as you seldom aee, Little (iifli.i of Tennessee. "Take him and w, lromchim," th1 snresotasa^d; "Littie the doctor can help the dead!" So we t' Oii h m, *nd br usht him where . The tmlm was f-wret in the summer air. And w:> aid him down on a welcome bed'-- i *. Uiter L.-ra^us, heel to head! -i*. We wa ched the struggle with l>»ted breath--» • B' clei<n hnv against -ke'eton Th nth. . "fV Mon hs ot torture, how many such | > • Weary wetks of the et-ic . and crutch. •' And s'ill :> glint of the steel -bin-.' eye Told of a spirit that woul.l not die. And <iid not; nny more, in Death's despite, The crirpied skeleton learned to write: 'bear Mother." at first, of course, and then *I)ear Captain," inquiring atnmt the men. Cretan's answer: "Of eighty-five Qiffin and I are left alive." "Word of gloom from 1h^ war one day: "Johnston is pressed at the front," they say. Iattl- O ffln w s up an i away; A tear--his first--as he bade cood-bye, Dithrat'd he glint of his steel-blue eye. "I'l i wri e. if Fpa-od!" There w s news oi the fight, But none of Giffin--he did not write. I sometimes fancy that wer^ I a king Of the prii c -ly Knights of the Golden Ring, With the *o:<g of ti e ministtvi in mine ear, An th«> render lege: d that trim'les here,' I would g vo tn'- bt st on his bended knee, Th- whi.est soul of my i hiva'ry, For Little GJffin of Tennessee! --The Current. STRAPPLE'S BOY. sjl Safe. |* ' " : . There never was an uglier boy than Sirapple's son. He was so ugly that no one ever referred to him as John Strap- pie, but as Strapple's boy. He had a red head, eyes that did not seem to have been sufficiently lighted, ears that stuck straight out. motly complexion, hump shoulders, "slew" feet and a walk that caused people to turn around in the streets and look at him. There were many boys of attractive physical condi­ tion that were more vicious than Strap- ler's son, and there were certainly young fellows at school that were more stupid than he, yet Strappler's boy, solely on account o"f his "shape," waslookedupon as both vicious and stupid. The boy was painfully conscious of the cloud un­ der which he lived, and it never oc­ curred to him that he was designed for anything but to be ugly, until he sud­ denly found himself in love with the prettiest girl in school. To fall in love with a handsome girl seems to be the fate of an ugly boy. Of course he can­ not help this, and certainly no one, es­ pecially the girl, thinks the less of him for it, yet his efforts to appear graceful, bis premeditated smile atid the care he takes in washing his hands almost up to the wrists, only tend to bring his fiomeliness into bolder relief. , Strapple's boy bore the . affliction manfully. He tried to persuade him- Seif that he was growing better-looking, and he carried a small round mirror in in his pocket--mirror through courte­ sy, for it was only the top of a blacking- Box--to assist him iu noting the prog- ress he was making in that direction. Sometimes it would seem that he had made a great jump, and again, with the too critical eye of a lover, he noted 1 is increasing ugliness. Once he smiled at Minnie Scaler, his divinity, but she turned up her nose at him. This crushed him; and his appetite weakened under the blow. Ned Peters, the school bully, noticed the facial per­ formance, and of course turned it to ac­ count. Ned was a handsome fellow, with snapping black eyes and hair that kinked all over his shapely head. He was a favorite with the girls, and the teacher--an old maid of much experi­ ence--often called him a little rascal and kissed him. "Let me see you smile," said the handsome boy, approaching the ardent Iffrer on the playground. *1 want you to let me alone." "What'll yon take to grin at me like you did at Minnie?" Strapple's boy blushed, took off his hat with a feverish hand, put it on again, turned and walked away. Ned followed him. 44 W hat'll you take--" Strapple's boy wheeled around, struck Ned in the face, knocked him down and beat him unmercifully. The entire School arose in indignation. "The idea," said the teacher, "for a great, big, good-for-nothing boy like Strap­ ple's to beat littlo Ned," although any one oould see that Ned was the larger. "Ho shan't come to my school another day. (jo home, you good-for-nothing ttiing." Strapple's boy went home, and shortly afterward a note caino from the teacher. The contents of this note were never known to the boy, but the fact that his father proceeded to administer severe punishment, led him to suppose that the communication was not of a friendly "nature. After much forrowful meditation, * Strapplo decided to send his son away, •Jul shortly afterward the unfortunate fellow was posted off to a distant insti­ tution of learning. Here he remained for years, not even coming home during Vacation, for there never had been but «*ne person in his native place whom lie i" dared to see, and even she had turned Hp her nose at him. He went into the law alter finishing his scholusticcouv.se, • Jind probably never would have gone koine again, ljjad he not received a let- ier announcing the illness of his another. > t The people were all surprised to see ll man of such fine form, for the bov %ad not neglected his physical eduea lion. After the recovery of his mother, the young lawyer accepted an invitation to dine at the house ot' old man Scaler, Jather of the oncepetu'ant Minnie. She .H-as, ot course, moro beautiful than Aver, but not nearly so capricious, for when Strapple's boy smiled at her, she Smiled in return. After dinner, while the young couple were alone, Strapple's feoy asked: **Do you remember the time you turned up your nose at me?" r;; "What! I never did such a thing." "Yes you did. when I smiled at you • "Why, arn'tyou ashamed of yourself , $0 sit up here and tell such a big story?" • "-H "Well, never mind." " But you, musn't accuse me wrong­ fully." " "Idon't accuse you wrongfully, but let it all'go. By the way, what has be­ come of pretty Ned ?" "He's a guard at the penitentiary. He drove a cart for a long time, but his friends secured the penitentiary posi­ tion for him, at a salary of thirteen dollars a month." "Is the woman- who taught our school still alive ?"• "Oh, yes, and is doing remarkably well. She married old Absalom Snarl- winder. His business is good, for no longer ago than yesterday, she told pa that he had already contracted for as many wells as he could clean out this season." "You haven't told me anything about yourself," and as she blushed, he could see thejpaint and powder on her face. "Youl don't want to known anything about nie, do you?" "Yes, oi; I would not have asked." She signed deeply. "You haven't heard anything, have you ?" "No: what is there to hear?" "Nothing, only people always said I was in love with somebody." "With whom?" "Can't you guess?" "Don't think I can." "With--oh, you know." "Swear I don't." " With--yes, you do, you rascal." "Upon my honor I do not." With you. There now. Mr. Smftrty.w The young lawyer understood the situation. He saw the shallow insin­ cerity of the woman. "I am very sorry to hear this," he re­ plied, arising and looking earnestly at the blurred picture of his youthful de­ votion, who seemed to grow ugly under his gaze. "When I was a boy I loved you, but because I was ugly you turned up your nose at me. Beauty may be proof against a slight, but homeliness is sensitive. So long, fair maiden." Strapple's boy married Jane Woo- patch. who was once the ugliest girl in school. They now own the finest house in Arkansaw. Old Scaler's daughter married a dog catcher.-- Ovie Bead, in Arkansaw Traveler. English as She is Wrote. A Rochester lavvfr 1' (rve and voice are frozen, and must step aside from work , we wiiyin some of our pil^rim- iout Richmond, come to your SHXEP HUSBANDRY.--I have been en­ gaged in • sheep-raising for fourteen years. In this and all old settled prairie countries 300 to 400 sheep do well. One hundred per cent gross profit is a fair statement. The profit diminishes 10 per cent. p«* 100 head as you go over 100. My flock has ranged from 300 to 1,000. I put up an Dually 100 pounds of prairie hay and one liushel of cotton seed to the sheep, ami have good shelter provided.--Cor­ respondent, Navarro County, Texas. ACOBXS, CHESTNUTS, AND BEECH- NTTS.-- I have had some experience with planting nuts. I find that acorns, chestnuts, and beech-nuts and that class of nuts lose their vitality without al­ lowed to become dry. I keep chestnuts and horsechestnuts, for spring planting, in moist sawdust in a cool place. I place them in the sawdust as soon as gathered. Nuts thus kept and planted in the spring have succeeded well. It is drying, not freezing the nuts, that prevents their sprouting when planted; at least my observation so teaches me. --Samuel Broad, „ Pawnee County, Kansas. PERSIMMON AND SASSAFRAS SUCKERS. --I have found that the following treat­ ment will kill persimmon or sassafras suckers; in a word, it will kill any tree. Cut off the suckers close to the ground in the spring, then again about the 1st of July; cut again in the middle of August. At each cutting be careful not to lose any green leaf. The next year the growth will be very feeble and cutting them will kill it out entirely. Destroy the foliage repeatedly and you are bound to destroy the life of the tree. Of course there may be roots that are missed one season which will come up the next, but care should be taken not to miss one.--C. C., Cooper County, Mo. COMPOST FOR TOBACCO.--I cannot speak practically of any formula, ex­ cept tlie following one, for tobacco; it is splendid and many of our largest farmers are using it extensively. I have not heard of a man who has used it but savs it is the best fertilizer he has tried. Some of us have been afraid it might keep tobacco growing too long on rich land for it to yellow sufficiently I J ; TJ U11UO VU-n/ ck> their way for momentaneous repose oi the horses. No drinking money is due to coach­ men. At the interior station on Mount Ve­ suvius passengers will receive a center- ticket and conformly to its order's number they will take place in the train. The train is composed of ten passen­ gers. Those who willingly loose their turn cann profit of the next train always when there is an empty seat, but can not pretend a special train. The company is not responsible to foreigners who would serve themselves of guides not belonging to the same, or having no number. Guides have to behave themselves most politeful towards foreigners in showing them all the particularity of the crater to accompany them during the absent and descent and bring them round the crater, but are riot obliged to follow them in the dangerous locality of which they will be advised. They are not obliged to gather stones or to do impressions unless they have not bargained with theft before. The station's buffet is provided of all things that travelers could desire at the same prices fixed by the company, The station's telegraph-office is open­ ed to the public, and telegrams can be wired to all destinations at the usually tariff. Foreigners can retire from the Naples office photos acquired on Mount Vesu­ vius and will even be brought to their residence if they require it. In this case a receipt will be given to them for their relative payment, and which will serve at the same time to control and retire the articles acquired. Wanted to Feed a Dog. Five minutes for refreshments was shouted by the brakeman, and as he knew the train always stopped at that station for that purpose, he understood the meaning of the brakeman's utter­ ance and got out and proceeded to the counter. He gazed at the sandwiches, but they had evidently been made that day; he glanced at some cold beef, but it was evidently well cooked and healthy, so with the fowl and the bread and the pies. Even an apple turn-over didn't appear to have been made over a week and hadn't got the real dangerous look to it. "Nice railroad restaurant this is!" he growled. "What's the matter?" asked the pro­ prietor. "Ain't you ashamed of your food ?" "No, sir; it's fresh and wholesome; what are you growling about ?" "That's what I'm growling about 1 I want to get something of the real rail­ way-restaurant sort, to feed to a dog a man has got in the car there, so the brute will die."--Boston Post. His Taste in Crockery. When a certain San Francisco lady, who has made a wide Eastern reputa­ tion as a writer, visited Japan some years ago, she was entertained by one of the leading Americans of Tekio. Ev­ erything in the house was artistic, and the rarest curios, the most elaborate rorcela n ware, the finest Japanese art productions covered the tables and filled the rooms. The San Francisco visitor was much interested in all this, and was particularly admiring the din­ ner service, which was of a very unifjue pattern. After dinner the host took her aside: "Don't tell my wife, but I'd give $4 to eat off a white plate."--San Fran­ cisco ChronUle. Still They Come. Applicant--"Here is a manuscript which I would like you to look over." Book-publisher--"It would be useless. Wo only accept manuscripts from noted authors." Applicant--"Cut I am a noted ian- thor. My fitst book ran through many editions." Publisher--"Ah, indeed! Come my dear sir. Ta' e a seat." Applicant--"I am the author of 'The Bread-Winucrs.'" Publishor-- 'Great Josephus! Anotli erone! Jim, call the dog."'--Philadel phia Coll PEOPLE are commonly so employed in pointing out faults in those before them as to forget that some behind may at the same time be descending on the; own. HEAVY late suppers are fashionable in London. James Q. fore cutting it, but it yellowed last nearly niason beautifully and in good time, taincd a ae formula is as follows: 1,000 pounds convent! stable manure, mould, etc.,300 pounds to their nlphate of potash, 100 pounds sulphate James Gumonia, 100 pounds sulphate magne- 401) pounds dissolved bone and 100 pounds land plaster. No general rule can be given about the amount to be used per acre. It should vary with the soil, from 400 to 500 or more pounds per acre.--S., Milton, S. C. FARMING Too MANY ACRES.--In a re­ cent journey through a good portion of the State for agricultural purposes we are more satisfied than ever, from the observations we were enabled to make, that it would be better for the farmers to cultivate less land and to work it more thoroughly than they do now. If they would be satisfied to farm a fewer number of acres, and put as much work on the less number as they do now on the whole, they would make more money and make it easier than they do in cultivating BO much land,and incon­ sequence of so much ground to go over it cannot receive the consideration it should. We have no doubt that the moro grain produced to the acre the less it will co3t per buslieL Farmers in many instances do not consider the difference between a bountiful and a small yield. With less acreage in crops, the better opportunities are af­ forded .the farmers to bestow more work on that which is in cultivation. It is seldom that a man who has 500 acres in crops gets as good a yield per acre as the one has who cultivates 100 acres.--Minnesota Tribune. GOOD BUTTER.--It requires care, ta^te, and good judgment to make good butter. The milker must be clean­ ly, the handling of the milk must be careful, the vessels pure and clean. The churns must be scalded and kept sweet. Churning must be done quickly with the temperature of the cteam about G3 degrees Fahrenheit. Never pour cold or hot water to get the re­ quired temperature. Use artificial heat, as top of range, or in ovens--any place where it will gradually get warm if too cold, and if too warm, put in cold or ice water. The flavor of butter de­ pends on the flavor of the food to a very great extent. Mouldy cellars spoil butter or milk. Feed your cows good food, free from strong flavors, milk quickly and always cleanly, keep your milk in cellars free from mold or veget­ ables, churn quickly, don't keep cream over three days, and scald and keep clean all your vessels. If farmers make these directions a part of their dairy gospel, they can sell their butter from five to ten cents per pound more than their neighbors who do not follow them. REGULARITY in feeding is more impor­ tant than is usually appreciated, with horses as well as with milk-producing cows. Wholesome food and sufficient quantity at stated times is essential to healthful growth and efficient service. The amount of rations is governed by the age of the animal, and whether al> work or idle. No rule in pounds and ounces of hay and grain can be laid down for any horse, and the one in charge needs good judgment to keep the horses in a strong and healthy con­ dition. A knowledge of the require­ ments of a locomotive would help many horse owners to a better understanding of the laws of feeding. The amount of coal, water, etc., depend upon the easy movement of every part of the engine and upon the work being done. The horse ip an engine, and, more than that, because it is a living creature and has additional wants. Plenty of food and water are only a part of the needs of a horse. There should be a comfortable Htable and all those little attentions which add so much to the health of the animal. Good grooming is essential to :;00d digestion. Cleanliness of the skin .s as necessary for the health of a horse as for that of a man. The irritation of 1 lie brushing stimulates the healthful (unctions of the skin; but the brushing may be too severe. There is strong ob­ jection to the use of a harsh curry < omb. If a good stiff brush is used daifv thero»will tie no use for a wire- toothed comb or other harsh imple­ ment. The rubbing of the "running r;car" of a horse is as essential a3 that of an engine. ful of pepper and made mustard, one teaspoonful of vinegar; mix all together thoroughly. LEMON FOAM.--Beat well together the yolks of six eggs, half pound of powdered sugar, two grated lemons, half ounce of gelatine dissolved in cold water. Simmer over th*. fire until quite thick. Beat the whites of the eggs to a frolh, add them to tho mixture, beat together aad pour into molds. POTATOES A LA CREME.--Put into a saucepan three tablespoonfuls of butter, a little chopped parsley, salt and pep­ per to taste. Stir up well until hot, add small teacupful of cream, thicken with two teaspoonfuls of flour, and stir until it boils. Chop some cold boiled pota­ toes, put into the mixture and boil up' once. CHOCOLATE CAKE.--Take the whole of the dough; half cup of grated sweet chocolate *beat together thoroughly; bake in three layers. Put together with frosting in which one tablespoonful of grated chocolate has been thoroughly mixed; frost the cake; sprinkle choco­ late over it as heavily as you like, or put chocolate creams at regular intervals over it. ENGLISH PLUM PUDDING.--One half pound currants, one pound raisins, one half pound of beef suet, butter the size of an egg, one nutmeg, two teaspoon­ fuls of lemon, three-fourths of a pint of milk, a little salt, flour suffcient to stiffen, mix well together; put into a bowl and bake four hours; cover the bowl with a cloth. Sauce: Three tablespoonfuls of corn starch, one hall pint of milk, one half cup of sugar, one tablespoonful of butter; boil five minutes. CONFECTIONERY CAKE.--Take one of three parts of dough, flavor with lemon; divide this into three parts, bake two of these parts in separate layers, and to the remaining third add half a cup of molasses, one cup of chop­ ped raising, one teaspoonful of cinna­ mon, one teaspoonful of lemon, one teaspoonful of ground cloves, one cup of flour. Beat thoroughly, bake in a layer. Put these layers together with frosting, the fruit cake in the center. Frost the top. BAKED APPLE DUMPLINGS.-- Peel and chop fine tart apples, make a crust of one cup of rich buttermilk, one tea­ spoonful of soda and flour enough to roll; roll half an inch thick, spread with the apple, sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon, cut in strips two inches wide, roll up like jelly-cake, set up the roll on end in a dripping pan, putting a tea­ spoonful of butter on each; put in a moderate oven and baste often with the juice. Use the juice for the sauce, and flavor with brandy if you choose. A sauce of milk and butter, sweetened and flavored, is mostly preferred. Right in Ceylon. There is no twilight in Ceylon. When the sun sets, darkness falls suddenly upon the earth, and the stars shine out as if some hand had turned on the star­ light. And it is thick darkness, too; so thick that an anthropological specula­ tion is born in my mind, that the dark complexions of these people are due to the primitive survival of the night-like. A Shinghalese man is invisible against the night, and the tread of his bare foot is inaudible. The lighter, more visible varieties of their race would have been killed off by invaders and wild beasts, and those who mimicked the night would be passed by. In addition to this the predatory class would be suc­ cessful in the proportion that, as is said iu the book of Job, they were marked by the night. The Colombo coachman will not drive a step after 6 o'clock un­ less his lamps are lit, lest he should run over a sleeping native. This darkness lends a special beauty to the bungalows of the rich, which appear illuminated, the rays from their lamps, shining through the foliage in a mystical way, especially if they be cocoanut-oil lamps, which give a soft, spiritual light.--Mon- cure i>. Conway, Plain Home-Talk. We learn from one of our exchanges that over 1,000 bcok agents are wanted to canvass for a work called "Plain Home-Talk." We don't see how a level-headed agent can undertake to sell such a book as this, because every one is pretty well acquainted with plain home-talk. Here are a few examples: Been at the lodge, eh? Ain't that story rather old ? There, we've got to get a new carpet for the parlor! I told you to sew this button on three weeks ago. You can't have a bceuf a la mode on wa<h-day. The coal is out. Whose hair is that on your sleeve ? Don't for­ get to bring home a pound of French candy. The butcher won't wait another day. Do you think I find my money on tlio street? I wish I had a diamond necklace like Smith's wife Tommy's shoes are worn out. Mother has in­ vited us to spend the summer with her. If we don't pay the next installment" on that furniture, it will be seized the first of the month. The above is plain home talk that every man knows; and we think the agent who tries to sell a copy of it will have a pretty lively time.-- Bob Burdette. HOUSEKEEPERS' HELPS. COCOANUT CAKE.--Take an ordinary unount of dough; one cup desiccated oooanut, mix thoroughly; bake in three ayers. Put together with frosting in which has been thoroughly mixed one t ablespocmful cocoanU >. Frost the cake; prinlile the top heavily with cocoanut. KFHL SLAUGH.--One head of cabbage fiincerl fine, to two hard-boiled eggs, ' wo tablespoonfuls of salad oil, two tea- poonfuls of white sugar, one and one naif teaspoonfuls of salt, one teaspoon- Why the Road-Bed Was go Smooth. "Yes," said the editor, as he stood with the superintendent of the road on the rear platform of the last car on the train, "yes, you have a fine track and a smooth roacl-bed." "Yes," replied the gratified superin­ tendent, "I have no hesitation in saving that our srack is one of the best, and the road-bed one of the smoothest ever made." "The smoothest road-bed I ever saw," said the editor, enthusiastically. "Do you know how the road-bed hap­ pens to be so even ?" queried the su­ perintendent. "I suppose because you ordered it to be so constructed." "Well, not exactly that. The super­ intendent of construction was once an actor." "What had that to do with it?" "Why, he took extra pains to make it smooth so that the walking would bo good for barn-storming dramatic com­ panies when they should have occasion to use tho track." "Oh, I see."--Somerville Journal. WIRE lath and glass shingles are now being manufactured, and by and by it will be so that a dutiful fatlier will have to go clear up into the primeval lumber camps to pick up something with which to caress his erring boy.-- Burlington Hawkeye. "MY dear," said a wife to her hus­ band, "1 shall henceforth call you 'Fire.'" "Why, love, will you apply such .a peculiar name to me?" asked her husband. "Because you go out generally every night" THE term dude has a different mean­ ing it^diflerent localities. In the Far West a dude is a man who mixes water with whisky. Experiences In Cape Town--The Diamond 1 iclrt*--How the People Live A Brooklyn, N. Y., traveler thus de­ tails his experiences during a three years'residence in South Africa: "I landed at Cape Town," he said. "This is a place of 40,000 inhabitants, three- fourths of whom are blacks or Malays. Tlie Malaya foavo SSTC^ wivss apiece; that is the most interesting and unfor­ tunate thing that can be said about them. The other quarter of the popu­ lation is European. A small cottage there containing four or five rooms will cost $45 a month; a good-sized dwell­ ing will cost three times that sum. Coal is $15 a ton; meat from 15 to 25 cents a pound; whisky is 20 cents a drink; imported ale $1 a bottle At the restaurant a good meal can be had for 25 cents, consisting of such things as roast beef, mutton chops, soup, bread, butter, coffee, rolls, etc. In October, November and December there are terrific gales that sweep over the town. The drivers of vehicles wear green spectacles on account of the dust, and the women, at the approach of the hurricane, sit down promptly for fear of sailing skyward like so many balloons "I went to South Africa as a trader, speculator, and spent much of my time-- in fact, the best part of--in the back country. Of course. I visited the dia­ mond fields. They are in the hands oi the two companies, English and French, who have from the Government the privilege of working the mines. They are not doing much in them at the present time on account of the prevail­ ing dullness in the diamond market. The mines are worked by blacks, and I suppose there are about 2,000 at work at the present time, about a quarter the numder that could be found there when times were good. The sup­ erintendents andi>etter class of workers live in houses made of sheet-iron; the common delvers in small brushwood houses. Some of the houses have three rooms and a kitchen; some have only sleeping places or bunks. The Zulu Kaffirs live in the meanest kind of huts. They only work long enough to earn some money with which to buy guns; then tliey go back to their country, lour hundred miles away, and engage in war­ fare with some of the branches of their tribe. There are twenty-one tribes in Zulu Kaffirs. The workmen have few chances to steal diamonds themselves, but tliey have been known to slip one of the valuables into the pocket of some visitor in the hope of seeing him later and arranging with him as to its sale, and the visitor has had the diamond found on him by some of the officers and been promptly sent off to the west­ ern coast, there to work from ten to twenty years on the breakwater they are building in that section. The work­ men were once paid $1 a day; now they do not get so much. The officers who oversee them used to get from $25 to S50 a week; now they get fro"! $15 to $25. "I rode into the' back country on a cart, keeping the west coast and endeav­ oring to trade with the natives for skins, ostrich feathers, and other goods, which I would dispose of to the arriving ves­ sels at Cape Town. The country is dry and barren; there are plenty of stones, but no trees; the tallest bushes are not over four feet high. At the numerous rivers, where they cross the roads, you will now and then find a tree or two standing together near the banks. You will often meet wild animals, tigers, leopards, hyenas, jackals, monkeys, and, elephants, but they will not molest you unless you at­ tack them ; on the contrary, they are nfraid of a human being, and • will, unless ravenously hungry, run away from you. There are plenty of poison­ ous snakes there six feet long, which jump at you and bite you quickly, if you are not on the lookout for them. The natives eat the meat of the buffalo and the buck, and hunt the wild animals for the sake of their skins, tiger ' skins tanned being about $9. "It is very hot there in the summer season, and in some parts there is a great scarcity of water. Within one hundred miles of Cape Town you will find a ni e country and water enough, but beyond that it is very dry. In the winter time, when the rains come and pwell up the rivers like a flash, as you might f av, you would think you would be drowned. The water comes quickly, ind at the moment wipes away every­ thing within its immediate reach; but I he country is as dry as ever within a few hours. In the hottest season it is 12G to 130 Fahrenheit; in the shade*-- that is, such shade as there is where the sun's rays strike directly it is from 150 to 154. ihe moment the sun rises it is hot; the moment it sets it is cool. People cannot, of course, work all day in Buck weather; they stay in the house from 10 to 3, but of conrse the heat does not affect them so much as it does a newly-arrived foreigner, and after awhile, if he is strong and healthy, can stand it pretty well. "The country is sparsely populated, mostly by the Dutch and Germans. The Dutchmen do not till the soil, but confine their attention to the raising of sheep, oxen and ostriches, making it a special business. "If a farmer is rich the children get their schooling from a private tutor he hires to live on the place. Of course there are no public schools, and the farmers are generally many miles apart --at a distance say of half a day or a day's walk/] { A Yerdant Rock lander in Boston. Everybody knows of the crookedness of Boston streets, but we think Will Rivers tells the best story about them He says he wa* looking for a certain place one day, and, after turning raul titudinous corners and becoming hope lesslv involved in a maze of sinuosity (William didn't say sinuosity, but he would if he had thought of it), he re rolved to ask assistance. Turning an other corner nt that moment he saw just ahead of him a man, whose coat he reached out quickly to grasp to arrest his attention, when he himself at the same moment felt a violent pull from behind. Turning hastily, Will discov­ ered that by reason of the crooked street and phenomenally sharp corner he had grablied jhimself by his own coat-tail.--Rockland Couricr-iiazette. Medical Intelligence. At a dinner party givrn at the man­ sion of Colonel Percy Yerger, oij Aus tin avenue, Colonel Cortis » ot into « row with Dr. Emmet, and told the lat ter what he thought of him, the remark" being far from flattering. "That insult, sir." replied the Doctor who is something of a blow-hard; "that insult will co*t you yeur life." "Why, Doctor, you talk as tho >gh you w* re my family physician."--Texa Siftiigs. Dictating a Letter. Now, my dear,' said Sir. SuooDon- dyke, when his wife had propp?dTim up m bed and stuffed some extra pil­ lows under his shoulders; "now, my dear taA e your pen and ink and I will dictate a letter to Specklewottle. If vou will plav amanuensis I don't see whv I can't be sick just as well as not." Mrs. h})oopwjilj?ke puttered'around and ai ranged het' writing materials. Shall I write on a card with gilt edge, *®ke note paper?" she asked. 'loud better use paper," replied Mr. Spoopendyke, severely. "When I want to convey my ideas on a shingle 111 carve 'em in with a knife. Now get ready, for I'm going to start, and don't you interrupt me or you will put me out." r "All ready, dear," murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, dipping her pen into the ink End contemplating her husband anxiously. "Mr. Peter B. Specklewottle," com» menced Mr. Spoopendyke. "Is his middle name VB ?'" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, resting her elbow on the table, her head on her hand, and test­ ing her pen on her blotter. "I don't think I like his name anyway. Peter isn't nice." . . aDy other name occurs to you put it in," observed Mr. Spoopendyke, with a growl. "You don't need to have a man's right name in a letter. Put it anything and hurry up, will you? Go­ ing to keep me in suspense all day about who this letter is going to ?" Mrs. Spoopendyke plunged into her work and wrote hurriedly for a moment. "Now I've got him in, dear." "Got who in ? Anybody I know ? Am I dictating a private letter to a stranger ? Got some particular friend you want this note to go to unbeknown to me ? Who's in there? I'm going to know who's at the top before I put my name at the bottom " "Why, Mr. Specklewottle, of course," said she, looking at him with wide-open eyes. "That's what you said. Now go on with the rest." "Have you got the date and 'dear sir' in, too?" asked Mr. Spoopendyke, pee­ vishly, for he was trying to think how he should start his letter. "No, dear; you didn't say anything about those," replied his wife. "You only said the name, but I'll put the others in." "Will, will ye?" croaked Mr. Spoop­ endyke. "Sticking on a great deal of credit to yourself for your kindness to the sick ain't ye ? Willing to yield your own preferences in favor of your sufferring husband! Well you can't fool me that much. Don't put 'em in, hear me?" "But I've got 'em in,* pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Then strike 'em out!" roared her husband. "S'pose I'm going to let you put those things in and let you throw 'em up in my face from the moment I get well till the day I die ? Scratch 'em out, I tell you. I don't propose to have my life made miserable by re­ minders of your kindness when I was fishing around in the grave with one leg! Now what have you got?" "Peter B. Specklewottle," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, mentally satisfied there could be no mistake in that. "Anything to show whether he's P man or a woman?" demanded Mr. Spoopendyke. "Any 'Mrs.' or 'Esq.' hanging to it anywhere?" "Certainly," replied Mrs. Spoopen­ dyke. "It says 'Mr. Peter B. Speckle­ wottle.' That's the way you told me to write it, didn't you? Now go on with the letter." "Then put : 'I am dying, and wish you '" "Great gracious!" ejaculated Mrs. Spoopendyke, dropping her pen. "You are not dying, dear; you don't want the man to think that!" Why not?" squealed Mr. Spoopen­ dyke. "S'roie a man is going fourteen blocks out of his way to get the mail for a man who only has a cold in his head ? You put in that I'm dying or I'll drop over into that corner and write the whole letter with one application otf the inkstand." Go on, dear," cooed Mrs. Spoopen­ dyke. "I've got it so; only he may think it strange that a dying man should write to him." 'Then say, 'I want yon to get my mail from the oflice, and tell them I will l>e over in a day or two.' Got that?" "Yes," giggled Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Anything else?" 'What are you laughing at ?" howled Mr. Spoopenkyke, on whom the incon­ gruities of his letter had begun to dawn. "What have you got that measly mouth of yours stretched out like a dodgasted graveyard for? Think I'm dictating a comic almanac? Got a no­ tion that this letter is some kind of a rebus ? Well, it ain't and it ain't a min­ strel entertainment with a funny man at each end! What're you laughing at ? Anybody in this country know." 'I wasn't laughing, dear," murmured Mrs. Spoopendyke, with a marvelously straight face. "I was only sympathizing with you." "Was, eh ?" grunted Mr. Spoopen­ dyke. "Well, when it takes the form of a visage like you screwed up a min­ ute ago, I want to be hung instead of sympathized with. Another time you open your mouth like that I'm going to put seats in and start a church." And cogitating on this vast improve­ ment in his wife's anatomy, Mr. Spoop­ endyke, forgetting all about his letter, rolled over and went to sleep.--Brook' lyn Eagle, Sunshine. The mental, moral and sanitary in fluence of sunshine can not be tbo highly over-estimated. Window drapery is an effective addition to the furnish­ ing of a room, but let the glowing light find ready entrance to your homes. Full many an invalid has found a heal­ ing balm within the golden flood, and merry children frolicking by the way­ side seem of those "Who foel the dear Ood on His tb-one, Sending H s sunshine through the shade." This most gracious gift of God is free alike to all, and "Whether through d'y easement comcs It» kiss to thoe in crowded rooms, Or ou* a nons the woodland bk on, It freshens o'er 1 hy thontrhtful face. Imparting, in I s (find embrace, liewuty to beanty, grace to grace." THERE are 419 type-setters, beside the apfirentices, in the Government Print ing Office. Paying a Debt. Jones--I sav, Smith, old fellow, I don't want to bother you, but I wish you would pay that $5,0;/0 I loaned you some years ago. Smith--But you don't need it Jones--No, of course not; but you see [ might happen to die, and I have no right to deprive my heirs of it. Smith--Oh, in that case we can soon arrange m ttters You just get your life nsured for that amount in my favor. Jones--In your favor? Smith--Yen. and then, don't you see, vben you die I will draw the money nnd give it to your heirs.--Philadelphia Call. JRr exchange calls a hog a "pofcm# quadruped." No wonder that the kins in a pig's tail is too limber for cork» " screws!--Newman Independent { , ORIGINAL jokes will be received wheJ||p accompanied by a five dollar bill, nop^# necessary for publication, but as agtt**» an tee Oi*. good i'aith.-^Man.- Two Newman men are so stingy thaj^ when the minister announced that "Sali>t vation was free," they immediately went forward to get it--Newman hif dependent SOME man utters the following bit ot wisdom: "It is better to love a man that you can never marry than to marry a man you can never love."--Cart Pretzel's Weekly. MATCHES are made double-ended hi' Mexico. This enables a smoker to burs twice as many fingers as formerly while lighting a cigar, and increase his 'knowl­ edge of Spanish profanity.--Paris Bea­ con. SOME of the nice young ladies who are in the habit of using slang will b|P~ . shocked to hear that the word "goshwS so often used when practicing at th#';^- piano or when trying to sharpen a lea<§.' . pencil, is the worst kind of swearings!^ "Gosh" means "My Father," and wa§" used by Elliot in his Indian Bible.--- Peck's Sun. SAYS a French investigator: "A bee^ / in proportion to its size, can pull thirty times; as much as a horse." Th* V Frenchman is right. The bee, howy * e v e r , c a n p u s h 1 0 0 t i m e s m o r e t o t h 4 - - square inch than it can pull. One goo4 \ healthy bee has been known to tackle man on the back of his neck, seated o4 -! the back seat, at a camp meeting an<| send him clean through the'congrega­ tion, without anything being able ta . stop him. ' SHE DEFERRED HDFTO HBBPA. Her fairy form * Her modest face. Her charming air, A nd winning grace . K n c h a n t e d a l l Tlie lads in town. And each one loved ' J e m i m a B r o w n She oft was called The villajre pride, And for her love I long had sighed. I said I'd know No joy in life,till she'd Coasent to be my wife. She blushed quite red and said "Oh, la," and then re'erred me to . Her pa His manner was both ru le and rough, and when he spoke his tones Were gruff I asked him then in accents Bland to give to me his daughter's hand For answer he gave me his foot encased W i t h i n t h i s c o w h i d e b o o t l --Somerville Journal. HE tumbled into the depot behind a blooming nose, that glowed through the smoky twilight as red as a red, red rose. He came to the ticket window* and thereunto he froze. "Hie, Achent, gif me un teeket." He threw his breath like a sledge. It knocked the student out of his chair, and onto "the' ragged edge," hit the agent where he lived, and broke his temperance pledge. "Gif me dot teeket, I told you. I can't schtood here all tay." " Where to ?* asked the agent, meekly. "I goes auf der train avay." "To what place shall I sell you a ticket ? Where are you go­ ing, I say?" He drew himself up proudly; he climbed upon his ear, ana*, in a voice of thunder that froze th# crowd with fear, yelled: "Maybe dot» some off your beezness.--Texas Sift* ings. "Yes," said Dumley, "I served three Jears in the war of the rebellion, and if|r*1 do say it myself, I made a good sol­ dier." "You have a very soldierly bearing," said young Brown, admiring­ ly. "So I have been told," replied Dumley. "Even to this day." he con­ tinued, "strains of martial music will set my pulee bounding, and like a war- horse, I scent the battle from afar.* "Were you ever wounded, Mr. Dumley ?* asked Mrs. Simpson-Hendricks, consid­ erably excited. "N-no," he said, "I never was; I was very fortunate in that respect." "Yes, indeed," ventured young Brown, "a gunshot wound is an ugly thing. I suppose you can attrib­ ute your good fortune to your nose?* "What has my nose to do with my not getting wounded ?" demanded Dumley. "Why its--its ability to scent the battle from afar, you know."--Philadelphia Call Similar Sayings. It is strange how many persons are credited with uttering similar witti­ cisms. Lord Eldon is reported to have said of Lord Brougham, "If he only knew a little law, he would know a* little of everything." Unfortunately for the originality of the author of this witty saying, Louis XIV. of France, as we learn from Prof. Mathews' "Illusions of History," is credited with a mot that resembles it- Passing out of chapel after a sermon ly the Abbe Maury, Louis remarked, _"If the Abbe had said a little of religion, he would have, spoken to us of every­ thing." English history records that Nelson thus wrote to the ministry, after the Battle of the Nile,-- "Were I to die at this moment, TOOP® frigates would be found written on my heart." Bead this along with "Bloody Mary's* exclamation, at the loss of the last foot4 hold of the English in Franoe, "When |t, ' die, Calais will be found written ou ml heart," and the impression is that Nef- ' son was, a plagiarist.--Youth's Com• panion. The Craze Tor Titles. • Our Paris correspondent, says an ex­ change, notes a growing passion among the men of the French Republic for high-sounding titles. This reminds us to remark that there has been developed of late years in this American Republio of ours a certain class of high-flying/ dudes, male and female, who would bni ready and willing to sacrifice all their long line of plebean ancestors, and even to make a bill of sale of their little souls to His Majesty the Devil, if there­ by they could secure some paltry title or aristocratic recognition. Children, apes and Monkey* delight in cheap play-things.--Exchange. Dull Times in Canadian Hotels. "I don't see how we are to get along. The house is about empty, yet it is im­ possible to reduce expenses. Look over the American papers and see what the news is," said a Canadian ho­ tel-keeper. "I have looked over them. There has not been a big defalcation in th# United States for two weeks," replied the clerk. "My stars! we will be ruined. I never knew the times to be so dull."-- Philadelphia Ca't. "HbpE springs eternal in the human breast," but it never realizes much on the investment unless a fellow gets square down to business K and earns w hat he woi ks for. OUB happiness and success depen& on being where we belong.--Talma§k» .