The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

if yOB WiO bit ot athing. V i wen eetja a mlnute-i* UB» nectT I<«t me aee--> » there witfc the baby, • to tea, I ever her rat Blchardand me. „ milking Jtebadtoear. Ob! tony had titan f'*" '•> r« were standing under the piam tre% ' And Rich* datid aomething low, -•Bnt I -warn tired and flustered, . : 'i J N And trembled, I almost know* ; I > ,-J?pr oM Bed la the hardest of milkers,Lw* ;•*«• J'indBrindle's so horrible alow. , <' ->And that--let me see--where was I? r *j# Oh! the stars prew thick overhead, ' ^ ^ And we two sto d under the plum tre4< ' .,•• , ;#|Till the chickens flew up to bed-- jZ:^" he loved me, and we're to be maxned-- ; ii| And that is--about what he said. « . I .1 -- •• • -- • . y I '3&:u •W- - CLERK'S TALL 3 ft WAS » suffocating evening early fri August, and I left my -work at the for- «ten office to plod home to dinner through the dusty parks in the worst spirits. The wrongs of a junior clcrS whose long-promised holiday had just $>een snatched away from him on the •ve of fulfillment were boiling in me; I felt that they cried out for justice in »free country. Everything was pre­ pared for this month's leave which was to have begun the next day. My father had taken a house on one of the most attractive slopes above Grasmere, and • the family residence in Lancaster Gate already bore that denuded and forlorn appearance which precedes a general family flight. We had breakfasted Sily, picnic fashion, with old and in-equate implements; we had prophe­ sied with unabated cheerfulness dining with still fewer of the appliances of civilization, the family plate being not last but gone before to Grasmere. The htaise was in as uncomfortable a state as much packing and putting away «ould make it, for my people intended to spend between two and three months at 'Emerald Bank.' Here was I, with my wings outspread for flight, caught tack and doomed to remain in solitude, with dismantled rooms and furniture lurking under dust sheets for company and all because an unstable senior clerk suddenly declared that his health demanded instant change of air, in­ stead of waiting to take his holiday later on, as he had intended. The tale Of woe is not complete, for Olga Field­ ing, to whom I had been but three weeks betrothed, was coming with us to Grasmere, and we had promised our­ selves a month of unalloyed bliss among the Westmoreland hills before she was obliged to go back to her filial duties in Copenhagen. There, as her mother was dead, she had to preside over all mutters, social and domestic, in her father's extensive establishment. Gracious heavens! what an ill-ar­ ranged planet is this, and what a disor­ ganized constitution was that miserable T.'s, to choose such a moment to be out of repair! In the* first week iu Sep­ tember Olga would have to follow her father, who had returned to Copenha­ gen, and we should meet no more till after Christmas. Was it not enough to make a worm blaspheme? and the bang 1 gave the hall door on entering covered a vigorous expression of feel- - Well, the news was broken to a dis­ mayed and sympathetic circle.' Olga, who had hitherto professed to consider me as likely to prove a very small ad­ dition to the natural features of the lake Scenery, was quite overcome; tliere was some small balm in that. My mother $as vary unhappy. Even Bar­ bara, the youngest ot the family, and strong in the scorn of seventeen for matters of sentiment, forbore to jibe, and gave utteranoe to violent excla­ mations of regret, coupled with equally Silent abuse of vngue persons nn-OWU. My father, after the first natural shock of disgust, endeavored to console nie with unpalatable philosophy and the cool light of reason, remedies which always seem an insult offered to aftUc- tion, when applied to one's own ease. "flVhard on you, Harry, my boy, no doubt, and I'm sorry for it," he said, in that sobering tone which strikes a chill through the greatest moments of excitement, and makes all previous emotion appear annoyingly ridiculous; "but now you have entered on the se­ rious duties of life, you can't learn too soon that work and not play is the ob­ ject of a man's life. I'm not at all sure that--" "Ah f how hor-r-r-rible," broke in the soft voice of my betrothed, with the pretty careful intonation, and long- dfawn ripple of the 'r' which she had inherited from her Danish mother. "Dear Mr. Richardson, do not let us be . reasonable to-night. What is the use of being British subjects if we may not lave a great grumble ? No, that poor boy is very badly treated, and it is all fr-r-rightful !M And my lady unclasped her eloquent hands, approached the iron-gray parent for whom our affection had always been largely tempered with respect, and, flinging oue arm tightly aroxind his neck, laid her pretty head with its crown of bronze rippless con­ fidingly on his robust black-cloth Shoulder. Mv fath^r, no doubt* experienced a slight shock; he was unaccustomed to such audacious treatment from the young. But he liked it, he certainly liked it; and planting a firm parental Balute on the breezy coils he left us to pour out our mutual woe at leisure. That night I found it impossible to sleep. The atmosphere was so close and oppressive there seemed to be no air to breathe, and a dull feeling of un­ defined apprehension haunted me per­ sistently through long hours of wake­ fulness'and miserable brief dozes, re­ fusing to be charmed away by the voice of reason. Haggard, unrefresh- ed, and still conscious of the same •ague foreboding clawing at my heart, I left that bed of suffering at an un­ wonted hour in the morning, and de- . scended to the library, now a desert of bare boards, dotted about with pre- S'pitous islands under dusty cloths. ere a pipe, that unfailing comforter of dejected manhood, restored some balance to my disordered mind, but I Still felt very depressed, and was pre­ paring to go forth and seek the restora­ tive dear to every unhinged Briton, an early swim, when the door opened, and to my amazement Olgc. glided into the room, pale and drooping, with dark lines under her brown eyes. After mutual exclamations and greetings, I demanded the reason of her wan and dejected appearance. She did not an­ swer at first, but turned her faes away and tormented the braid on her travel- « o&sriBfttyr #Mture of res: "I think jour old foreign ottioe hss be­ witched me. No, it is that unhappy T.. who has the exil eye, for I have a feeling as if »ome 4**ger was hanging over you, and I couH not sleep all night for it. OHarry!" continued the impetuous Aai&Sel, suddenly throwing aside the dignity with which she was wont to treat me, now that the worst was out, "come away with us to-day. Newr mind a thousand governments and clerkshi s! I will not go without you. Something dreadful will happen; you feel it too. Yon look fit for the hangman yourself." It took me a long while to restore Olga to calmness. I laughed at her prognostications and was careful to betray no similar feel­ ings on my own part. She was mora or less convinced at last of the utter ruin it would be to my future prospects to desert my post, and we were reason­ ably resigned if not cheered by break­ fast time. Well, I saw them all off from Euston Station, and trailed away a hapless victim, to my dreary task in the exalt­ ed gloom of White Hall That day seemed interminable; yet there was nothing to look forward to at the end of it, and still with the previous night's weight on my spirits, I started on my way back to the howling wilderness in Lancaster Gate. Near Hyde Park corner, where very few carriages remained to make hay of the dust, I was startled from melan­ choly reflection by a great bang on the back. Turning sharply round I con­ fronted that atheletic giant, Jack Oliver, who had been at th,e same col­ lege as my self, and whom I had not met since \iire took our respective de­ grees at Oxford three years before. At Oriel I had been wont to write Jack down an ass,, because his invariably boisterous spirits and perpetual athe- letics were at times a perfect nuisance, but in my present forlorn conditiou his jolly face and infectious laugh were a real God send. We dined at the clftb together, and afterward went to the theater, then smoked a pipe or two in company at Oliver's lodgings, so that it was to­ ward 1 O'clock when I left him to re­ turn to Lancaster Gate. Walking along under the park railings, the trees made occasionally ghostly rustlings over head; the air was very still and heavy, in expectation of a traveling thunder storm. The tall shut up houses facing the park looked as for­ bidding as so many mausoleums in the moonlight, and only the footsteps of a stray wayfarer here and there, or the welcome rattle of an occasional hansom, broke the strange stillness. All the uncomfortable feelings of the last twenty-four hours, temporarily thrust back by Oliver's cheerful com­ pany, returned with overwhelming force. Indignant at being so befooled by what I declared to myself must be a dyspeptic imagination (though my ac­ quaintance with dyspepsia was happilv of the slightest), I argued fiercely with my own folly; but all in vain, that in­ describable dead weight of apprehen­ sion still crushed my spirits. The senseless sense of unseen danger grew stronger at every yard. I was ready to roar tor very disquietude of spirit, "confou nj it all," I almost shouted, "this is beyond a joke! What an abject piece of imbecility, for a man who has always flattered himself on having too much reason to fall a prey to any su­ perstitious delusions whatever! I must be ill; if things go on 1 ke this to-mor­ row I shall give in, and go to old Bur­ rows (the family iEsculapius) to be put together again." Meanwhile every step forward ap­ peared to grow more and more difficult. A sudden sound of footsteps close be­ hind most unaccountably paralyzed my powers of locomotion, and filled me with » horrible dread. -This was mon­ strous; with a kind of groan of disgust and misery over my Jown decrepitude, I resolutely turned round and waited till the steps reached me. Merciful heaven! What was this that came r.p, brushed past me, and went on ? My brain reeled, a cold per­ spiration broke out on my forehead, for, frantic as it may sound, it was myself that I saw go by. My exact image and counterpart came toward me, look­ ed me full in the face with cold, indif- ierelit eyes, differing from mine only in their expression at the moment, and passed on, brushing me with tke sleeve of a light over-coat exactly like the one I wore. I noted with despairing recog­ nition on the creature's left hand, which was raised, holding the unbuttoned flap of his coat in front of him (a favorite trick of mine), the very ring Olga had given me a week ago, and which was also on my linger at that moment. For one long minute I sood stupefied with horror, the next I darted forward after that terrible familiar form, which crossed the street and went on toward our door. I felt sure tbat I must be mad, or in the clutches of some hideous nightmare. Oh! for some power to shake it off and awake. But no! 'the area railings had a firm and chill real­ ity when I touched them. My footsteps and those others sounded all too solidly on the deserted pavement. I even caught myself deliriously smiling at a peculiar trick of walking in the thing in front, with which Barbara had often taunted me. It was an extraordinary opportunity of seeing oneself as others see one, but what mortal could have availed himself of it under such circum­ stances ? I staggered on behind him, unable to diminish the twenty yards or so that separated us. Would he stop at No. '204 ? The suspense was almost intol­ erable. He did. He disappeared through the door, though the only sur­ viving latch key was in my hand. When I reached the door it was shut and bore no signs of any unusual treatment. I could not go in; I could not follow into the house and run the risk of meeting that on the dark stairs. A. horror unspeakable had taken posses­ sion of my senses; I turned and fled, and spent uncounted hours in walking about the silent streets and squares, unconscious of the lapse of tira& The early sunshine aroused and cheered my scatted wits. Gradually the sounds of common life awakening brought back my reasoning faculties; the discordant cry of that bird of dawn the early sweep, was as musio in my ears, and seemed to make the dread* tul night fade into remoteness and un­ reality, I made my way back to Lancaster Gate, footsore and exhausted. The milkman was driving merrily up and down; when I reached our door steps it seemed a year nince I had last as- tended them. I rushed to my room; it was, of course, empty, the bed untouch­ ed. But on the pillow and turned down sheet, exactly where my head and shoulders would have been in the natural course of things, lay the ruins of a large bust, the Hermes, which hsd been wont to stand on a bracket over the head of the bed. This tMraeket »y see by a firmer support; it had given away at last ttder the ponder ous weight of the bast, which. Striking against the irea v*l e* tise hod, had broken into two o* three flkffrderous portions that rqpueria oatk#pltfow and sheet, the bracket otily having chosen to glauce off on to the floor. * Had I been there Hermes must certainly have crushed my skull. Thrilled with fresh emotion, but too exhausted then to meditate long ovev the event, I went slowly down to the dining room, and fell asleep on the sofa. The old charwoman, who appeared later with my breakfast, told me she had been startled by hearing a loud crash in the night, soon after the clock had struck 1, but having been only half awake at the time she oonclut>od it was the rti under of my boots being thrown out to await the morning's cleaning. She was now, however, much excited about it. and disposed to revel in a tragedy. I told her that I found the Statue fallen on my bed, and that, as it took three men to move it in a general way, I had been obliged to content my­ self with the sofa. The brief and mat­ ter of-fact tone of my explanations quite failed to quell her exclamations of wonder and amazement, and she was not to be debarred from the pleasure of gloating over all the details of the tragedy which had been averted. Since that night all has gone well with us. My blessed chief found means to let me go in a day or two, and our time at Grasmere was all we had ex­ pected it to be. After Christmas, to our great joy, Mr. Fielding gave up his house at Copenhagen, and came to live in London. Olga and I were married the following summer, and we have never again been disturbed by present! ments, apparitions, or any other sub jects worthy to exercise the industry of the Society for Psyehfcal Research.-- M. C. Vachell, in 'Longman's Maga­ zine. • % \ :• --izn:~ j Propagating Trees. The following novel plan of propa­ gating valuable trees is given by a cor respondent of Vick's Magazine: A year ago last July the latent bud on a lemon tree, which I have, started and rapidly grew to the length of about three feet, and then parted into three or four branches. Last March I gir­ dled this shoot near the main stem, by removing a band of bark about an inch wide, cutting down to the hard wood. Around the place thus laid bare I built a small wooden tub, filled it with earth and kept it moist. Being abroad during the summer the branch suffered from neglect, but upon my re­ turn I found that it had well rooted Having cut the stem, I potted it, aud now it is full of small blossoms, so nu merous that it would be troublesome to count them. Thus, eighteen months since it was a latent bud, and in less than a year since it was layered, as de­ scribed, I have a lemon tree rooted and capable of bearing blossoms and fruit. With equal success I propagated an India rubber tree in the same way, atkl doubtless it will succeed well with every plant capable of being girdled It seems to me that this mode has these advantages: By it the strength of the stem is unimpaired, and thus danger of breaking and need of support is avoid­ ed; the supply of nourishment from the parent plant is undiminished, as the upward flow of sap is through the vessels in the new wood, which are not cut, and the return flow, which is by the bark, or I etween the bark and the stem, is checked entirely in a complete circle arouud the stem, for the rapid and vigorous formation of roots. By the usual mode, that of making a slit, the branch is we .kened, the supply ol' nourishment is one-half cut off, aud the return flow of sap, by which the roots are formed, only partly impeded. Sug­ gestion: Might not even large trees which have been accidentally barked be saved by girdling them with a sharp knife, constructing a box around the exposed part, filled with earth, the roots thus formed finally reaching and penetrating the ground? A mound could be raised around tke base of the tree high enough to reoeive the new roots, and lead them down into the ground. In the case of injury to val­ uable trees their usefulness might thus possibly be prolonged for a time. ' ^ ^ Table Talk. I 14 "Maria." asked Mr. Jones as he help­ ed himself to another slice of buttered toast at breakfast, "did you put on your boots this morning?" "Yes," answered Mrs. J. with a liver- and-bacon intonation to her voice, "why?" "Oh, nothing," said Jones, taking a second baked potato, "only - when I moved them this morning before you were up, a little mouse run out ". "Oh-h-h-h! a-h-h-h--mercy good­ ness! take'em off! t-a-k-e 'e-m-off!"- shrieked Mrs. Jones, going into hyster­ ics. "I wish you wouldn't interrupt me. Maria," said Jones severely. "A little mouse ran out from under the base­ board and ran back again, but some time it m<ght go into your boots, ahd be hopelessly lost.";--Detroit Ffte Press. fir Social Rivalry. "Mamma," said a New York girl, "do you know that at the Fitzsimmons din­ ner party yesterday peaches wereserved in unlimited quantities?" "Yes, I heard about it." "They are a hateful set. They knew that we are to give a dinner party next week, and they gave theirs just to spite T»." "Why so?' asked the mother.. "Why so?" the daughter reflated. Because they must haye heard that we are to serve peach-s, and they wanted to be the first to do so. I only hope they won't go down any in price."-- Philadelphia Call That W01 Wake Him. "You are not an early riser, are jriri ?" said Mrs. Brown to Mrs. Jones. "No; the reason is that I cannot wake John up before noon. I have tried the clock alarm, blank cartridges, and bell-ringing, but he sleeps like a dead man." "You ought to try the plan I used on my husband," said Mrs. Brown. "How is that?" "Pull a cork out of a beer and he will spring right out on the floor."--Paris Beacon. IT is said that Russian foresters cut trees just before the bark tightens in the spring too much for peeling. They strip the bark of£ but leave the upper brandies and their leaves untouched Through these leaves much of the sap in the body of. the tree evaporates be­ fore they become dry, the trunk sea­ sons rapidly, and makes timber much more valuable for any purpose than that oat in the winter. Tme Nev Orleans Sugar Exchange la jqst wttfAtfito hall of ttwetsts mansion stood a young couple. Ata glanoe one eouldsee that they were not married, yet the fove«l%ht thai beamed in their eyes as fhav stood, she with both of Ler daintily gloved hands hi his, showed that they were to each other more than mere friends. They had attended chwch that bright spotfgJtaorning and ss &arold Glean sat bv the side of Ethel Warde, or held with her her dainty hymn-book as her pure young voice rose to heaven in an­ thems of praise, his heart swelled with pride, for he knew that in less than one short month that beauteous being would be all his own, his to love and cherish. Yes, for two years they had been be­ trothed, and in all that time not one difference had arisen--not one harsh word had been uttered. "Good-by, Harold," said she, as she rested her head on his bosom and lifted the pouting red lips for a kiss, "good-by till this afternoon." "Good-by, Ethel, good-by tilU this-- till to-night." "Till to-night, Harold? Till to-night did you say ?" "Ay, Ethel, good-by till to-night." As the words fell on her ears a slight shudder shook the frail form, and she stepped back a pace and gazed straight into his eyes with a look in which an­ guish, love, and indignation all seemed to struggle for mastery. A moment she gazed and then she seemed to give way and burst into tears. Harold looked uneasily out of the, window and plucked nervously at his watch guard, but one could see by the determined look on his face that his will could not easily be bent. For a moment the silence was un­ broken. Then the girl spoke. "Harold, for two years we have been betrothed. In that time never have you spent a Sabbath afternoon away from me. In the chill winter we have sat and weaved delightful fancies as we gazed into the glowing grate, and in the spring we have wandered, mid the flow­ ers, and told our love. Ay, for two years this has continued, Harold, and now you tell me you are not coming to­ day. Have I done aught to offend you?" * "No Ethel," muttered Harold in a husky voice. "Iu all this time, have I ever failed to show you by every means a woman can, that^you possess my best and purest "No, Ethel, you have been everything that I could wish." "Then, why this sudden change? Why do you thus take out of my life one of its brightest, happiest hours? Why will you not come?" "Ethel, I cannot; oh, I cannot come to-day. Forgive me. Do not think me cold, but I cannot." The love seemed to leave the girl's face, and in its stead came a look of despair. "Harold, your reason for this change?" "Ethel, I cannot come. I--I," and Harold bent his eyes to the floor and paused. "Well, you what? Go on, sir.* "I'm going to the ball game at the gark this afternoon. Fred Blend is poing to pitch."--Evansville Argus. Patriarchs. In those good old times of tho patriarchs were more honored and respected than in these degenerate days. They were learned and dis­ tinguished characters then, but we make fowl use of the patriarchs of to­ day. The more familiar ones of this age usually appear on Thanksgiving Day, when "the dear little rooster that grandmama used to play with" has reached the age of maturity, and is sac­ rificed accordingly. Many a fond father has gazed with dismay at the well-roasted ancient, and then, with a determination to win at all hazards, bravely enters the arena, and struggles for the victory. At the first thrust the blade usually glides from the brown skin as a skate over ice. The wings have evidently been nailed on; the legs--well, from long attachment to their owner, actu­ ally refuse to think of ever leaving him. But there is a limit to all things, and the next vigorous lunge sends the knife directly through the bird and the dish beneath also. By this time he is thorougly aroused, and the attack begins in earnest. A desperate attempt, and the wing and a piece of breast land directly in his wife's lap, whilo a leg hits the baby in the ear. But this is only one instancein many. Numberless men boarding at a hotel have been aroused from their slumbers in the early morning by furious ham­ mering, only to find it was the attempt of two men and the cook to halve a spring chicken, with a mallet and a wedge, in the back yard, and next day sees the identical halves served up to two strangers sitting at one table. Mere curiosity tempts him to watch. Neither man is chicken-hearted, and they do their best again and again, and try to gain just one morsel; but, finally, in grim despair, and in appreciation of each other's misery, they silently shake hands under the table, for fear their triumphant adversary would see them and crow over their defeat, and go out, arm in arm, to take something. troit fVee Frets, \ •- s- J}-? t All But . A ' A Wolf met a nice, tender Goat in a quiet, retired spot on the Mountain, ofie Day, in the soft Summer time, and immediately picked up his Knife and Fork and began looking over the Bill of Fare. "What would you do?" asked the Goat, with much trepidation. "I would discover what sort of a Lay­ out this Caravansary can spread," re­ plied the Wolf. "Are there no Fire Escapee?" in­ quired the Goat. "I do not Know, nor do I care, as I Expect to take but one Meal here." "But--but " stammered the Goat. "Aw, don't but me," answered the Wolf, snappishly, and the next moment the Goat had hit him amidships and knocked him over a Precipice 200 Feet High. Moral--There should be a law against carrying concealed deadly weapons.-- The Drummer. Cstbelic Ceflege. Mr. J. D. Kingsley, Secretary Holy Cross College Gymnasium, Worcester, Mass., writes: "Every member of our club frankly admits that St. Jacobs Oil, the conqueror of » ait* is the best cure they have ever used, all speak of it in terms of the highest SUptobsbon." 50 cents a bottle. STORY. ' lift Was Twiea 1*® Of Ike pmsent day, as he is burrt^l slthwjftgr tfs lightning express, ia its buffet earS-lMft yahloe eleepera, seldom re­ verts hi thooefct to the time when the stage coach and packet were the only meaas of oommupjeatioa between distant points. It the real «0-tlaie *tase- driverais met with now-a-dmys, and when the writer recently ran across Fayette Haskell, of JLookport, IT. Y., fee felt like a bibliographer over the dlscorery of tome rare volume of "forgotten fame." Mr. Haskell, althoiwh one of piemen in stage driving (be for­ merly ran from lewiston to Niagara Falls and Butalo, is hale and hearty, and bids ia r to live for many years. The strange stories of his early adventures would flll a volume. At one time when going down a mountain pear Lewiston with no le s a per­ sonage than Geserat Soott as a passenger, the brakes gate way and the coach came on the heels of the wheel horses. The only remedy was to whip the leaders to a gallop. Gaining additional momentum with each rev­ olution of the wheels, the coach swayed and pitched down the mountain side and into the streets of Lewlaton. Straight ahead at the foot of the steep hilt flowed the Niagara klver, towards which the four horses dashed, ap­ parently to certain death. Yet ihe firm hand never relaxed its hold, nor the clear brain its conception of what must be done in the emergency. On dasbed the horses until the narrow dock was reached on tbe river bank, when by a masterly exhibition of nerve and daring, tbe coach was turned in scarce its own length, and the horses brought to a standstill before the pale lookers on could re­ alize what had occurred. A pur«e was raised by General Scott and presented IO Mr. Has­ kell with high compliments for his skill and bravery. Notwithstanding all his strength and his robust constitution, the strain ot continuous work aad exposure proved too much for Mr. Haskell's constitution. The constant jolting of the ooaoh and the necessarily cramped position in which he was obliged to sit con­ tributed to this end, and at times he was obliged to abandon driving altogether. Speaking of this period he said: "I found it almost impossible to sleep st night; my appetite left me entirely, and I had a tired feeling which 1 never knew be­ fore and could not account lor." "Did you give up driving entirely?" "No. I tried to keep up, but it was only With the greatest effort. This state of things continued tor nearly twenty years until last October, when I went all to pieces." "In what way?" "Oh, 1 doubled all up; could not walk with- . out a cane, and was incapable of any effort or exertion. I had a constant desire to urin­ ate both day and night, and, although I felt like passing a gallon every ten minutes, only a few drops could escape and they thick with sediment. Finally it ceased to Bow entirely, and I thought death was very near." "What did you do then?" "What 1 should have done long before: listen to my wife. Under her advice I began a new treatment." "And with what result?" "Wonderful. It unstopped the closed passages, and, what was still more wonder­ ful, regulated the flow. Ube sediment van­ ished, my appetite returned, and I am now well, and good for twenty more years, wholly through the aid of Warner's Safe Cure, that has done wonders for me as well as for so many others." Mr. Haskell's experience Is repeated every day in the lives of thousands of American men and women. An unknown evil i« un­ dermining tbe existence or an innumerable number, who do not ri ali/.e the danger they are in until healtn has entirely departed, and death, perhaps, stares them In the face. To neyiectsuch important matters is like drift­ ing ia the current of Niagara above the rails. Queer Signs. The signs over store-doors might seem, at first thought, to be rather dry reading. But one cannot pay much at­ tention to them, especially in a large city, without finding many that are amusing and even ludicrous. Every one has seen the flaring pict­ ures of "fat women," "HWng skeletons," and "midgets," that usually adorn the outside of cheap shows. But an ex­ hibitor in a New England city outdid his rivals by announcing that he had on exhibition a living human head without a body. Probably in this case the head was set on a table, which the simple-minded were expeoted to believe had no hole in its top. In another part of the same city is a boot-blacking stand where hangs a placard with this inscription: "You Ought to be Ashamed to Walk the Soil Of Masachusetts with Bach Dirty Boots. Let the Professor Black Them for 5 Cents*" Among other ̂ curious signs, an the following: Over a dye-house, "We live to dye, and dye to live;" over the door of a pie-shop, "Pro Bono Publico;" at a news-stand m the suburbs, " Cent­ ury, Harper's, Atlantic, Sunday Af­ ternoon, Old and New, Our Young Folks," the last three being the names of periodicals dead and buried long ago, but nevertheless "constantly on hand." On one of the thoroughfares a col­ ored man has recently opened a barber­ shop, and announces the fact to the world in the following notice, hung in the window: "Mr. *8 new stand, and having secured also the services of the well- known artist Mr. , we hope that the undesigned" (probably intended for undersigned) "will give satisfaction to all his friends, as they have done henceforth, and I respectfully invite all to call on me where we may be found at all hours. Yours truly, ete." --Youth's Companion. What a Nuisance, After eating a well-cooked meal with a tolerable appetite, to be pestered with heartburn! Is that your case, my dear sir or madam? If so, rectify the difficulty with Host etter's Stomach Bitters, the national stomachic. It will put the stomach on good termH with its contents, and enable It to digest f»r more rapidlv than carbo­ nate of seda, or ginger, or any other carmin­ ative. Such |KjHt-pnmdial helps are ineffectual and injure the stomach. Not so the Bitters. Di­ gestion is the proximate effect of its sue. a func­ tion which could not be resumed without the disappearance of such symptoms as heartburn, flatulence aud acidity of the stomaoh. Bilious subjects also derive speedy relief from it. As a laxative it is effective sad painless. Bhsnmatio •Offerers testify to its good effects, and as a diu­ retic It bears a liii(h reputation. Languor and l&seltnde are succeeded oy a feeling of vigorous energy when it is resorted to. It quiets and {strengthens the nerves, and & wtneglaaetul swallowed before bed-time enables one to oonrt sleep successfully. It also eradicates poison from the system. ALTHOUGH the lower animals can aot talk they are nearly all tail-bearers. Horsford's Avid I'bosophtt* AS A RKFKIQKKANT DRINK IN FEVERS. Dr. C. H. S. Davis, Meriden, Conn., says: "I have used it as a pleasant and cooling drink in fevers, and have been very much pleased with it." A MOVING spectacle--a dnd» with an eye­ glass. PHn.ADKI.PHU girls smoke cigarettes, and the boys find treating less expen­ sive than when the fair one's lips were set to trap strawberries and ice-cream. WHAT can pass before the sun without THE GREAT GERMAN REMEDY FOR PAIN. RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Soistiea, Lviabago, uciAcin, HliDiQElTOOnAOai SORE TMMIt, QtmiBY, SWBUJHOR, BCSn, SCAI SI, FIFTY COTS A NTTIE. iMgnaga. A Th* Charts* A. Vsftlar Ce. '•AfMWta) « aa,s.s.a. | Ost. Mr. Nicefd- md told him Tried te HMnma' T met Unr on the static* ftaaktytlu*although to eamt mrn seo yon, be shculd ber titat yon were young and needed plenty of sleep, and therefore ought not to stay so late. Nellie--And what did he say? Mamma--Ho shocked me awfully by insisting that yon kept him from go­ ing. Nfcllie-*Oh, toe great big story tel­ ler ! I tried my best to tire hinf out so that he would go home. Mamma--Tried to tire him out! Why, How? Nellie--By sitting on his lap.--Phil­ adelphia Call. Wisely Adopted by Dairymen. The adoption by most of the prominent dairymen and farmers of the l nited States of the improved Butter Color made by Wells, Richardson & Co., Burlington, Vt., is a proof of their wisdom in a business point of view. Nearly all winter butter is colored in order to make it marketable, and this color is the best, in regard to purity, strength, perma- ncnoe, and perfection of tint. WHAT tradesman most resembles an IIU dog? A tinker (tin-cur). LvriA E. PIVKHAM'8 Vegetable Compound is highly praised .by those who are obliged to etand all day in stores, and is a genuine messing in every such case, as well as to the tired-ont housekeeper who must be on her feet all day. THE successful photographer is a extensive views.--Boston Transcript.. man of Another Life Saved. Mrs. Harriet Cummings, of Cincinnati, Ohio, writes: "Early last winter my daugh­ ter was attacked with a severe cold, whioh %ttled on her lungs. We tried several medi­ cines, none of which seemed to do her any good, but she continued to get worse, and finally raised large amounts of blood from her lungs. We called in a family phy­ sician. but he failed to do h->r any s o d. At this time a friend, who had been cured by Pr. AVm. Hall's Balsam for t ie Ltinpra, advised me to give it a trial. We then pot a bottle, and she began to Improve, and by the use of three bottles was ent rely cured." "Put up" at the Ganlt Hense. The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations at the low price of U and $2.60 per day at the Gault House, Ghica- go, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. fiUavatar; all appointments first-cla ss. ^ H. W. Horr, Proprietor. A Wonderful Remedy. Coinpound Oxygen, the Vitalizing Treat­ ment for chronic diseases, introduced to the public by Drs. Starkey & Palcn, 1109 Girard St., Phila., is effecting wonderful cures in Con­ sumption, Neuralgia, Catarrh, Kheumatism, etc. Thousands have been relieved from suffering, and hundred's saved from death, by this new discovery. Bend for their pamplitot. Carbo-Unes. He wins at last who builds his trust In loving words and actions just. Whose head, whose walk, his very Proclaim the use of larboline. FOB DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression of spirits, and general debility in their various forms; also, as a preventive again't fever and ague, and other intermittent fevers,1 the " Ferro-Pboaphorated Elixir of Calleaya," made by Caswell, Hasard & Co., of New York, and sold by all druggists, is the best tonic; and for patients recovering from fever or other sickness it has no equal. HOUGH ON RATS." Clean eat rats, mioe, flies, roaches, bed-bugs, ants, vermin, chjpmnnk*. Me. TH* Frazer Axle Grease lasts four times as long as any other. Use it. "Rough on Itch" ewes humors, eruptions, ring­ worm, tetter, salt rheum, frosted feet, chilblains. BSWARB of the incipient stages ot Consump­ tion. Take Piso's Cure in time. "Buchu-Palba." Quick, complete cure, ail annoying kidney and urinary diseases. $1. FOR a cold in the head, there is nothing so good as Piso's Remedy for Catarrh. "Rough on Corns." llic. Ask for it. Com­ plete cure, hard or soft corns, warts, bunions. M. JOHN BULL'S Sni'sTwSyiv FOR THE CUM OF FEVER and AGUE Or CHILLS and FEVER, 110 ALL MALARIAL DISEASES The proprietor of this celebrated medi­ etas justly claims for it a superiority over all remedies ever offered to the publio for the SAFE, CEBTAUT, 8PXSDY and FEB- MAKXHToore of Ague aad Fever, or Chills and Fever, whether of ikort or loag stand* iag. He rsfers to the entire Western sad Southern eoontry to bear him testimony to the truth of the assertion that in no oass whatever will it Ml to euro if the direc­ tions are strietly followed and earried out In a great many oases a single dose has been nldnt for a euro, and whole fami­ lies have bees onred by a single bottle, with a perfoot restoration of the general health. ~ ana in It is, however, prudent, an more oertain to oore, if its use is oontinaed every ease in smaller doses for a week or two after the disease has been cheoked, more especially in diffloolt and long-standing eases. U(tfc> allv this msdioins will not require any aid to keep the bowels in good order. Should the patieat, however, require a oathartio medloine, after having taken three or four doses of the Tonio, a single doie of BULL'S YZ0RABLE FA1QLYFILL8 will be sul- fleieat BULL'S asuKAPAUTT.T.A ia the old and reliable remedy for impurities of the blood and Scrofulous affections--the King of Blood Furifiers. DR. JOHH BULL'S VEGETABLE WORK DE8TB0YEB is prepared in the form of sandy drops, attractive to the eight and pleasant to the taste. O R . J O H N B U L L ' S < WITN'S TONIC SYRUP, BULL'S SARSAPARILLA, BULL'S WORM DESTROYER, The Popular Remedies of the Day* Maeipel Oflce, SSI lata St., LOUISVILLE, KT. Bill D1V» sen oar rabber hand (tamp*. Ttorms Bltf ral&N. Taylor Bros. fcOo.. GtoTeUnd.Oblo. |» Addieas VALENTINE '. or Short-Hand and Typ« rre. Situations turn lulled. BROS.. Jantwille. Wia. FOB! CATALOGUE OF JENNINGS' Seminary and Normal College send to " B. ROBINSON, 1). V.. M. IX, Aurora. 111. ui» gM.ro'Tseispsse Rfftlll K-BUBMHAM. 71 Stale tew*.Cbkae* PATENTS i (or patent anti] obtained. Write lor Inyentor?Guide. $65 BLAII for S U«l •b county, to A MONTH aad Board . ¥onne*Men or Ladlaa. in earl 1 takeorderafor the Lives of I N E a n d L O C A N ! P. W. ZIEOLER CO., C1)i<nsm. 111. k. • • HAT FEVER la a iC H si type of cataitb bavins -- I peculiar «ymptcm». It ----rr?-7T: ,\f * ' V ia attended by an in- [flamed condition of the lining membrane of tbe noatrils, tear-ducts and throat, affecting the longs. An acrid nancua ia se­ creted, the discbaigei!* accompanied with a barn iag lenaatioa. There are aerere Hpaama of eneezing, fre­ quent attacka of Itcad- ache, watery and ia- Samed eye*. Cream Baliu is a remedy founded on a corrrect diagnosis of thiadiaeiae and can be depended npon. He. at dnnMt; etc. bar AaspatMtle* wttlla the HIpMatl- Uae< •Or (EeeiMt, H.T.) •Beers fin uulmaal cynic or a fool will affect to deegfce H, Hbnrorth. of Fort Ewen, IHater Oaentr, U. realized this troth. HixdJxeaea tavolrad of hia thigh booe, and the i ward, not withoot apparent waanw. to only deliv*refr. Hia fully ftwlda istesed ten putate the limb--ewertUs (hat tbe < kill the p&ent on the apot Dr. David 1 Hondout, N. Y., who waa consulted. opinion, aad amputated the limb. Ike 1 administered freely hia great HI FAVORITE REMEDY, to adbld tone the system, to pre rent the return of < Mr. Ellsworth remains to thia day III fla 1 health. This gentleman's of fonl blood, and Dr. David Kennedy's WAV REMEDY purified the blood and restored to htm tti power once more to enjoy his life. Are yon ruSMSE from any disease traceable to the same cause} FAVORITE REMEDY. Your druggist has it Onadei* lar a bottle. Bear in mind the proprietor's name aad ; address: Dr. David Kennedy, Rondoirt. Sew Ywfl, Pain ts supposed to be the lot of Ua pear am aa inevitable aa death, and liable at any time tax npon ns. IhcNioiv it is imiioftant flat ma aeents should be at hand to be need in < when we axe made to feel f" " " pain, or the depressing in! P.H°̂ *rremefo*t *«eDt •v PERKY DAVIfti P a i n - K i l l e r It was the first and Is tMe ealy penut» uat Piia SelleTer. ITS MEBIT8 ABE TJIBUlPAflSEDt There ia nothing to equal It. in a few momenta H cures Colic, Crsnps, Spssas, Heartkora, M» ; , .IPRTEA, Dysentery, FLAV 71 4 Dyspepsia, 8lck He Ilia fonndto .. . CURE CHOLERA When all oil WHEN tJSXD XXTE8XAIXT, nothing gives quicker ease is Bruises, Sprains. Stfauga ~ Scalds. It removes theOre, like ordinary sores. Those aa. ether remedy will, in sections «f the FEVER AND AGUE Prevails there is no remedy held S> Persons traveling ahonld" SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS. EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS. OOLLKOK u J&? •! Pfc|*Wm 4 Sirpi® oraraeet «*a C M> Sift. «L UM. Msae«e ;̂ onafM OAgt % RR« nst am 1st ifis Ike fchsr BMHJULTB $k* Ibv ears nary troubles. 1k» • sf WORD CURES OP KIPNEYPISKABES LIVER COMPLAINTS. 0 Beeajue It eets ea tke UTO, MWXLB sat UDfttTS at Oe ssatttae. ona humoaethaft tta,HhacviaSMaa inssiTllewiliaaiiil all Taiaaln niaaiilali tm-soiw pnoorcvtBBT IT WXC& sowar EO&4 CONSTIPATION* PILES. and KHSUaaATlSPs By eaaalag 1SH AC3S0V ef ea «IM ensmi CLEANSING the BLOOD i latialag His ma aialyiiaM te anew (ffdhNSi THOUSANDS OP OASES of the wueat Siiiua ef thaae tanlHs dbMasei have beau qulekly Mlitnl, agAtaaMMtM ramoTLvom rues, ufns ea as* site s* r HIT eaa be natty man. wms, aioftiBneowr * ea* Baar S Sat Hasp f* Mary Abasatt •» 4 ' : Brown's Vegetable Catan* One. vegetable powder. Safe unlff catarrh, cold in bead. in noee. Untied ia Sent by return mail trrer» w*l o O.9.V. Me,aS-M»