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laimlcakr J. VAN StYKE. Editor at* Publisher. MoHENRY, ILLINOIS p. • V -A 'V.! •. OXil A CHICKEN. " tecttatlon for eight little glrtalr - -- BT EUGENE 3. HALL. ; FIRST IJITTIJE FTLEB. T A wonderful story 1 will tell: , ' - > A chicken c ept from a broken shell* • r;I And, atandinc on it'stinv t> et, J ItpMped and peeped for a crumb to eit-- •* On a beautiful summer morning. SKOONI) trnxK OIRI* s? But out of a dark hole popj)ed th? head Of on old era y rat: with a rautious tread 1 He stol" alonut.where th crass was thick And quietly pounced on the peepmg chick That, Ktanding on i-s tiny feet. Was crying for a crumb to c*t-- _ On a beautiful summer mornmg. THIRD LITTLE OIRT. t Then out of the doorway leaped a cat, That r«t her paw on the old gray rat, That out of a dark hole pupped his head. And crept along with a caut ou-> tiead, ' And a < ruel look, wher.' the grass was thick. To quickly pounce on the peeping chick, That, standing on its iny feet. 4 Waa sryinii for a crumb to eat-- On a beautiful summer morning. FOURTH LITTLE GIRL. ' Afottnd th" corner »here fiercely flew •4 A savace doc, of a yellow hue, That fixed his t eth in the tabby cat*' That put her paw on the ol 1 gr y rat, 75 That out of a dark hole p pped his head, ;t And crept a'one with a cautions tread • And a cruel look, where the crass was thick, ,v To quietly p unce on the pe 'ping chick, , That, standing on its tiny f„»et, ; Waa cyririg for a crnm'> to eat- On a beautiful summer morat&jf.. . * , FIFTH LITTLE GIRL. • But a mushtv boy with a wicked sling i Of a crotched stick and a rub!>er string, V Looked over the fence with a mean intent, • And a smooth round pebble swiftly seut, That stmck the dog of a yeltow hue. That around the corner fiercely flew, And fixed his teet h in the tabby cat. That put her paw on the old gray rat, That out of a dark hole popped his head, And crept alone with a cautious treid And a cruel look, where the mass was thick, To quic* y pounce on the poop nit chick, Th it, standing on its tiny feet, Was crying for a crumb to eat-- On a beautiful summer motliBig, SIXTH LITTLE GIRL. Ne • t came a man on the double quick Who beat the boy wi h a blackthorn stick. For hurting his dog of yellow hue. That round the corner tvrely flew. And fixed his teeth in the tabby cat, Th t put her paw on the old gray rat, That our of a dark hole popped his head. That crept along w th a cautious tread And a cruel look, where the gra«s was thick, To quick.y pounc * on the iKeeping chick, That, standing on its tiny feet. Was erjing for a crumb to eat-- On a beautiful summer morning. SEVENTH LITTLE GIRL. The tumult cftnght the watchful eyo Of a tall p liceman passing by, Who, walking up wi h a pompous tread. Arrested and nearly broke the h ad Of the man who came on ; he double quick To beat th boy with a black.horn stick, . For hurting the <ioa of yellow hus. That round the corner herceiy flew, J And fixe ! his teeth in the tabby cat. That put her paw on the eld gray rat. That out of a da k hole popped his head. And crtpt along with a cautious tread And a cruel look, where the grass was thick, To quickly pounce on the peeping chick, That, standing on its tiny feet, Was crying for a crumb to eat-- 0*i a beautitul summer morning. EIGHTH LITTLE GIRL. In a court of justice sternly sat The portly judg j, in a white cravat. Who told the sheriff, for lack of ba l, To put the man in the county jail Who came in sjg. t on > he double quick To beat the boy with a blackthorn stick, For hurting t ;ie dog of yeliow liuo. i That round th - corner fiercely flew, 0" And fixed hi - teeth in the tabby cat, That pnt her paw < n the old gray rat, Thar, out of a dark hole popped his head. And crept along with a cautious tread And a cruel look, where the grass w.is thick, To quickly p.mnce on tbe peeping chick, Thar, standing on its tiny feet, Waa crying for a crumb i o eat-- On a beautiful summer morning. ALL TOGETHER. The greatest evii often springs From the ill effects of the -mallest things; And all this trouble on many tell Through a little chick Tom a broken shell, ,i On a beautiful summer morning. •'Vv y-r-.- low THE BOYS BROKE IT TO MOTHER. Mrs. Beresford had fire boylAnd boys they were. How those scrapegraces had worried /and tormented their poor mother from the day of their birth up to the date -of the events herein recorded. From 27-year-old Tom down to 16- year-old Harry, each and every one had in his own characteristic way worried and tormented the poor woman till she "was fain to declare that boys didn't jhalf pay for the trouble it took to raise them. The condition of the weather without Was slushy and melting. The condition vitliin was very similar, as Mr.s. Beres­ ford threatened to melt into tears at any moment. Tom, the eldest, her helper and standby (for her husband jhad died when Harry was a baby of 2,) "was going to marry. Oh! it was too awful to be true. Tom was a monster of ingratitude to repay her twenty-seven years of toil and trouble in this man­ ner, moaned this good lady, utterly for­ getting that from the time he was 16 years old she had depended on and de­ ferred to him, really making him head of the family. Ail of the boys called him "Old Tom," so dignified and steady was he. Tom's father, John Beresford, of the wholesale firm of Beresford Bros., was a man of the strictest integrity and rare business talent. When he died there •were no reverses to be met, no struggle for the boys. Nothing but an honora­ ble memory and honest money. Tom continued his college course un­ til 20, when from choice he left to learn the business with his Uncle Tom. Two years later Archie followed his exam­ ple, and white-haired Uncle Tom was wont to say proudly that the old firm would not lose its name when he passed over to the silent majority. But Mother Beresford could not be thankful for her many mercies (as the . boys laughingly called themselves) this afternoon as she stood gazing down the r street, now and than a tear slowly roll­ ing down her cheeks. She groaned as the subject of her thoughts came into view followed by the other four. She was bound to confess that Tom was worthy of any woman's love, and she almost wished that she didn't have so much reason to be proud of him, and perhaps this other woman wouldn't have had him. And she self­ ishly said to herself she wished he had been refused. She had always thought affectionate, teasing Jimmie her favorite, but now she surely knew it was Tom. And by the time the boys had entered she was the most abject ] picture of woe. "Now, mother," said Harrv, "what's the use of crying?" Tom's only going seven squares away, and you ought to be glad you are going to have such a daughter." • "Yes, mamma" put in Jim, "yon know you are thankful your next is go ing to be a girl. Haven't you been wishing for years you had a girl? Why, ia, you will only have four "Jim, yon dude, shut up," yelled Frank. "If it were only you, the fami­ ly might bear up under the infliction." boys were fond of calling Jim- of his hand- elegant get-up generally, but it was a misnomer. Al­ ways jolly, always in trouble at school, and up to t!ie time he was 18 always in love wit It half a dozen girls at a time. Ah, but Jim could tell a tale since that time, but he could ke->p a secret, too. Jim's was the truest heart of all, not­ withstanding he was such a scapegrace, and his good-natured teasing went so fat toward cheering Mrs. Beresford that she carried a smiling face for din- ner. Archie was a little off, Harry said, and asked him if he was going to marry a wife too. To which Archie crossly responded that he did not propose to marry a husband. "Mamma." said the irrepressible, "don't you want a brace of daugh­ ters?" Tom looked reprovingly at Harry, and Jimmie blushed like a girl out of pnre sympathy for Tom, no doubt. Jt was a c\istom in the Beres ord mansion that each evening before leav­ ing there should be an informal chat in the parlor. To-night most unac­ countably the three eldest were miss­ ing. Tom was disturbed to think that mother should take it so foolishly hard, and went off to the sanctum to think it over. He went so quietly that no one missed him but Archie, who just as quietly lollowed him. There was the closest sympathy be­ tween these brothers,' and poor Tom, feeling half guilty for worrying mother so, was just ready for Archie's consol­ ing words. "You see, Arch, she is all that can be desired in every way, and I love her with my whole soul. I am no boy or I naght get over it. Of course, you don't understand, Arch," but to Tom's utter amazement, haughty, reticent Archie Beresford dropped his head in his hands and 1 airly groaned. "Oh! yes, I do, Tom, I understand you perfectly. I am even initiated one degree farther, for I love a girl and she doesn't love me." What more might have followed no one can tell, for the door of the sanc­ tum opened to admit Jim, who drew back as he said:' Oh, 1 say, yon fellows, I didn't know you were here." Jim always said he was an odd one in the family. No chum but mother, he used to say when little, as Tom and Archie naturally went together, and the two youngest paired off. Something' in Jim's distressed face made the boys urge him to come in. He did so, and took a seat just between them on the sofa and begged that they would continue the "flow of conversa­ tion" which his untimely presence had interrupted, adding that Archie looked as through he was in love too. "And sod am," bitterly said Archie. "Ob, Lord!" shouted Jim, "I am there too," and frantically grasped both of his brothers in his arms. "Jim," insisted Tom, "no nonsense for once. Do let go." "Nonsense! I am in dead earnest. Have been for three years, and Lord knows how I am going to break it gently to mother." And the sweat streamed from Jim's face. "Boys let's go in a body and storm the castle." "The girl's breaking with me has saved me the trouble of breaking it to mother," bitterly replied Archie; "she does not love me any more." "O, yes she does, Arch; we'll make her." And now that Jim's secret wa9 confessed to some one he grew so light-hearted that the boys suspected him of making game of them. But Jim was in earnest, and, as he told them, had been for three years. Ever since Nellie Brown, then a pretty girl of 15, had come to live across the way Jim's heart had been gone. At first he did not mind it much, but as he didn't get over it he began to wonder if she cared for him, and just three weeks ago he ended his suspense, and now--O, if it wasn't for mother-- Jim would be too happy. "Come, my beloved brethren, we must bear it like men. We must meet mother. But, Jim, for heaven's sake don't spring it on her to-night; she can't bear any more," and Tom led the way down to the parlor, just as Frank, who was growing more like his father every day, was telling his mother how much he liked Tom's fiancee. He de­ clared he loved her well enough to mar­ ry her himself, and said she had more sense than all the rest of the girls put together. "I know it, my son. If Tom must marry of course there is no objection to her; but why couldn't he wait?" "Tom is too young," said giddy Har­ ry. The other boys were bound to encourage .the baby's attempts at wit, and after the laughter at Tom'^ expense had subsided the chums went down street, leavinsr Jim with his mother. He was restless, and roamed nerv­ ously around the room, upsetting the piano-stool ind punching the dog in­ stead of the fire, then desperately plumping himself down at hi3 mother's feet he began: "Mother, what would you think of a woman who would refuse one of your bovs?" Ah! wily Jim knew that the jealous mother-love could not stand that, and his mournful face and tragic tones did the rest. He looked the grief lie felt for Archie, and Mother Beres­ ford expressed her opinion of the wo­ man insensible to the honor conferred on her by one of her boys in very pro­ nounced terms. Having grained his point, be kissed his mother and left for a call on Nellie Brown. He speculated much as to who could I have refused Archie, and resolved to get the story out of him before long. "I have done him a good turn, too," soliloquized he, "but he won't thank me for it now. Never mind; lie will in time when Miss What's-her-name comes to terms." Next week Tom's engagement was announced. Mrs. Beresford bore it like a martyr, according to the baby, and really seemed satisfied. For was it not better to have him' happy than sad as poor Jim, and she looked ten­ derly at Jim, who was gazing at Nellie from a distance, being obliged to keep up the role of discarded lover before his mother. But he resolved to keep his eyes open and find out about Archie if possible, and he looked towards the dancers, where Archie's graceful form was to be seen. "Well, he doesn't care a straw about the girl he's dancing with. Let me look around a bit. Wonder if that performance worries Minnie Ross any ? Arch used to like her. No, it isn't Min­ nie," and the keen bine eyes roamed over the room. "Ah! by Jupiter, it's Stella Graham, and she does love him too." Surely Jim had grounds for the opin­ ion. Near the door stood a lovely lady with a face white as death and eyes burning .like stars, and they followed the graceful couple dancing with a gaze that to Jimmie seemed despairing, "Some infernal misunderstanding," he muttered, "and both as proud as La cifer." He went straight to Stella Graham and before she had time to think had taken her to the conservatory. Back of this room was a small one, where Tom did his courting, Jim said, and there he took her. He didn't know surely that she was the right one, but he felt it, and without waiting for more he said: "Miss Gaaham, last night I heard a man's voice say, "She does not love me any more.' To-night I saw a woman's face say the same thing most bitterly. I don't know what the trouble is, but I know something is wrong. May I send Archie in here ?" She was sobbing, and before she could say no, Jim had Archie there. The beautiful dark eyes were full of tears, and the marble cheeks told of suffering, and the voice was broken that said: "I am so sorry, and I do love you." Neither ever told the story of their quarrel. In what Jim deemed a proper length of time he took Nellie and whispered to Tom to bring "Mother" up to "The Retreat." Mrs. Beresford, all nnsuspicious of the trap laid for her by undutiful Jim­ mie, was led like a lamb to the slaugh­ ter to "The Retreat," where she encoun­ tered two very happy young gentlemen and two equally frightened young la­ dies. "O mother 1 we have talked them over," cried Jim, while sweet Nellie Brown put her arms around Mother Beresford and said, "Dear Mrs. Beres­ ford, we love you too well to offend you by refusing your boys."--Chicago Tribune. ,;V „ Apology for a Preacher* I write this in justice to an injured man. When I see an opportunity to deal out even-handed justice, you will generally find me there assisting the goddess with the bread-and-milk poul­ tice over her eyes. I was always that way, even as a child. Later on, as a justice of the peace, I was known all over the West as headquarters for sub­ stantial justice. I am that way yet. There is an anecdote in the great list of American yarns which runs some­ thing like this: A wicked unregenerate and profane man once journeyed in the south, in the land that is over against Mason and Dixon's line, and behold he met a large multitude upon the way; and he said unto one of those whom he met, "Whither go ye?" And they an­ swered him, "Even unto the baptism," which is after the manner of that coun­ try. And he turned about and follow­ ed them even unto the rink, whereat they did baptize. Now it so happened that when the preacher had washed away a slough of sins, and was about through, the pro­ fane man from the San Juan who stood by the shore, seeing that the preacher was aweary, and that ho approached the bank for to come out, put forth his hand to aid him; but behold, when he put forth his hand the preacher rallied and jerked the worldly man from the San Juan into the water, and proceed­ ed to bapt<ze him with the usual extem­ pore remarks. The profane man again and again sought to excuse himself and even with tears to set forth that he had not been regenerated, and that owing to the panic he had failed to meet with a change of heart, but the preacher would not listen to it. He immersed the ungodly man from San Juan, and asked him how he felt. Forgetting, for a moment, the peculiar circumstan­ ces by which he was surrounded, the profane man made answer that he felt O. K., but it would be a d--d long time before he attended another baptism. Well that's the story, and last sum­ mer Bishop Beckwith, of Florida, in company with several other bishops, and the Rev. M. Gilbert, of Christ's Church, St Paul, and several other gentlemen, went up on the north shore of Lake Superior, to catch four-pound trout in a stream with a big Indian name that makes into Superior. Bish­ op Beckwith told the above story to the party, and, unfortunately, in the presence, of two or three Indian guides who took the party up the stream in, their canoes. Well, an Indian may be infernally stupid about all matters of national and international law, but when a man says'd--d' it seems to be a language that hits him exactly. He can grapple with that and understand it first-rate. You swear at an India n whether he is a Chippewa on the shore of the great lakes, or the classical an­ gle worm eater of the Pacific slope and he will smile, and understand you. These Indians understood just that one word of the Bishop's anecdote, and so they casually told, when they brought the clerical fishermen back, that the party had had a big row on the trip and swore at each other like pirates, or words to that effect. The story is still prevalent in the north-west that such is the fact. It is to rectify this mistake, therefore, that I now take my pen in hand. If I can in that way set a good man right before the people of the Uni­ ted States, and St. Lawrence County, New York, it will not only be pleasant to him, but it may call attention to the almost criminal scorn for truth that we often find scorched into the sin-soaked soul of the red man, as the result, ac­ cording to the sore-eyed philanthropist of contact with our modern alcohol sat­ urated civilization.--Bill Nye. Teaching Economy to Children. A simple rule which has worked won­ ders, financially, and is in many other respects of value, and worthy of the at­ tention of mothers, is this: When the children come in wild with excitement and with a strong desire for some en­ tirely unnecessary thing, which you doubt will afford expected delight, counsel them to wait a week before de­ ciding upon its purchase. A week is a long period of time; many changes may take place in seven days and prob­ ably will in the minds of your children. This experiment has been thoroughly tested, and grateful children have been heard to exclaim "How thankful I am, mother, that I didn't spend my money for that. If I hadn't waited a week, my m o n e y w o u l d h a v e a l l b e e n g o n e a n d in one remarkable instance a boy who wanted a toboggan, and waited a week before purchasing it, changed his de­ sire, and at the end of the week wished only for a pair of old "bobs;" at the end of another week he had decided not to purchase even these, but wait and get a bicycle and a pair of roller skates; and by this method of proce dure has saved his money, after having enjoyed mentally the possession of one of these articles after another, though in a somewhat delusive and evasive way and is just thinking of "saving up" for a rifle. Of course this is an extreme case. It is a rule which might be adopted by some parents, also, with good effect, and I fancy that a great deal of money would be found in the family treasury if each member were to try this plan for a year.--New York Evening Post. * THERE are over 1,500 Smiths em­ ployed by the government, 400 of whom are John Smiths. There are over each Jones and Johnsons. BOOMS OF OTHER DATS. How pulcl W» bitter Mined th* Goal of Hi* Ambition. There is nothing new under the sun. "The Presidential boom," is only a new name; the thing existed even as far back as Monroe's Administration, when the "era of good feeling," outwardly so serene, was honey-combed with person­ al intrigue, jealousy, and backbiting among possible candidates for the suc­ cession. Indeed, while nearly the whole Cabinet family of tha President whose name is popularly a synonym "for pea.-e and good will were continu­ ally dealing one another intimate blows under the fifth rib--as when Clay an­ tagonized J. Q. Adams' policy at critic­ al moments--a most perfect specimen of a modern "boom" was developed by the stolid but crafty Crawford, of Georgia, whose whole talent, like that of so many of our contemporary states­ men. ran to the organizing of his per­ sonal following and the picking up of delegates. Again, the same passages in the me­ moir of Thurlow W eed where it is re­ lated how near Daniel Webster came to the Presidency on two occasions. In the spring of 1829 Mr. Weed went to Washington and called Mr. Web­ ster into th« cloak-room at the Capitol. "I think I shall be the Whig candidate, Mr. Webster said. Mr. Weed express­ ed doubt. "Who, then, will be?" asked the Senator. "It lookes to me like Harrison," said Mr. Weed. Mr. Web­ ster declared that Harrison stood no chance. "You are misinformed," he feaid. "The party will choose a man with a longer civic appearand), who is better adapted to the place." "The question is," said Mr. Weed, "who will poll the most votes ?" "Well," said Mr. Webster,^ "very well; but what does this mean ? You are going to choose a Scott delegation in New York." That, Mr. Weed explained, was to keep New York away from Mr. Clay. Then he went on: "You do not see me here to argue about that. What I came for and what I want is for you to be willing to accept the support of New York for the Vice- Presidency in case my prdiction about Gen. Harrison is verified." Mr. Web­ ster would not listen to this, and "Cap­ tain" Tyler was ultimately nominated. The memoir says that "two years later, when Gen. Harrison was dead and Mr. Tyler, President, Mr. Webster, as Sec­ retary of State under the late Vice President, had abundant leisuue to re­ flect upon the conversation in the cloak­ room at the Capitol." In 1848 Mr. Webster was visited by Mr. Weed at Marshfield and urged to accept the support of New York on a ticket headed by Gen. Taylor. "Well," said Mr. Webster when Mr. Weed ap­ peared at Marshfield, "how do thing* look now? I suppose the question ttill is,'Whocan poll the most votes?'" "Yes," said Mr. Weed, "and that man is Gen. Taylor, who will be next Presi­ dent." "Why," said Mr Webster, "Taylor is an illiterate frontier Colonel, who hasn't voted for forty years!" Mr. Weed unfolded the object of his visit, insisting that Gen. Taylor must be nominated by the Whigs or he would be taken up and elected by the Demo­ crats. Mr. Webster sent for George Ashmun, of Massachusetts, and Senator Wilson, of New Hampshire, with whom political prospects were thoroughly canvassed. They listened to Mr. Weed's arguments, and were disposed to yield to his suggestion. Finally his point was gained, and pleased with his success, he was about to take his de­ parture, when Fletcher Webster reach­ ed the Marshfield House. "The cause is making "tremendous progress," he said. Informed of Mr. Weed's mission, he ridiculed it unsparingly. "Enough," said his father; "I shall remain in the field as a candidate for President. I am not a candidate for any other place." The National Convention met in June. Gen. Taylor was nominated. The Yice-Presidency went begging, until a venturesome delegate nominated Mr,1 Fillmore, and he became the candidate. Gen. Taylor was elected. He died the 9th of July, 1850. Mr. Fillmore be­ came President, and Mr. Webster ac­ cepted the position of Secretary of State in Fillmore's Cabinet. Had Mr. Webster allowed the use of his name for the Vice Presidency in either of the above cases he would have reached the goal of his ambition--the Presidency. After occupying the office a part of a term it would probably have been very easy to make him his own successor. Mr. Weed's idea of the im­ portance of the Vice-Presidency, as twice exhibited in endeavoring to obtain Mr. Webster's consent to become a candidate for the second place, lias found abundant illustration in the his­ tory of the country.--Boston Tran­ script. An Oliedient Son-in-law. "Hciw'8 Marthy to-day?" asked a sliarp-visiiged old la-ly, as her son-in- law crept in at the open door, glancing around furtively. She's fol'able", he added, rubbing the jack of his head and then closely ex­ amining his hand. "Is she in good sperrits this morn­ ing?" again queried the old lady. "Moderate," answered the visitor, slowly pulling up his pants and rub­ bing a bruised place on his chin care- fully. •'Hev' you an' her been rowin' agin'?" gasped the old lady, as the man dis­ played several other wounds; I declare, Jo*liua, yon ought to be ashamed of yourself, to lead her such a life." "Me?" he asked, wonderinglv, scrap­ ing some loose and bloody hair from his hat, "me be ashamed of myself?" "Yes; you good-for-nothing wretch; Marthy says you never will do any­ thing she tells you to," snapped the mother-in-law. The wounded man smiled a sickly grin, and answered Well I did once --this morning." "You minded her and sEe beat you up that way ?" "Yessum, I did." "How did you obey her?" Quietly sitting down on tlie broom and reaching for the poker, the abused man replied: "She told me to go to the devil." "And you--" . , "Came over to see you fof a few min- utes," answered the darling fellow, as he caught both broom and poker in a death grip.-- Atlanta Constitution. The Razor-Back Cactus. * The prickly pear belongs to tbe slab- sided razor-back breed of cactus. It can be found in Texas on the Rio Grande, where there is a strip of terri­ tory sixty miles long and about twenty wide on which nothing else grows but prickly pears, and so thick are the clumps that the traveler cannot leave the road which is hedged in by this razor-back cactus. When a Western Texas man, who has seen prickly pears every day of his life, afterwards hap­ pens to travel in Europe and is shown, as a great curiosity, one sickly little prickly pear plant in a flower pot, it makes him laugh away down ̂in hi* boots. In order to flourish luxuriantly, the prickly pear asks for a semi-tropical climate and- the poorer the soil, the bigger and higher the plant grows, and the more thorns it has to the square inch. Oyer in Mexico, where the soil is poorer than an amateur concert, the prickly pear grows six feet high, and the leaves are as big as those of an ex­ tension table, while in Texas it only grows of A convenient length to sit down on. There are some purposes the priekly pear is good for, and there are others for which it is good for nothing. The fruit, which is about the size and shape of an infant pear, is of a rich purple color. It looks as if it might taste delicious, but a moderately fastidious hog would elevate its nose at it, such a sickening flavor has it got. The prickly pear plant is covered from head to faot with long keen needles of assorted sizes, that for sharpness and meaness may well cause the blush of shame and envy to mantle the cheek of a wasp. Never sit down on the prickly pear bush to rest yourself, take our word for it. We tried it once, accidentally. It was many years ago, but the memory of it haunts us still, when we sit down.--Texas Siftinga. Great Salt Lake as a Summer Resort. A narrow-guage railway, aimed at Nevada, has got as far as the lake shore, and trains run out and back morning and evening, stopping long enough to give passengers time for a bath. The fare for the round trip (twenty miles each way) is only 50 cents. At the landings, in addition to bathing arrange­ ments, there are dancing pavilions, and excursions often go out in the evening, returning by a special train in the morning. On special occasions, such as Pioneer- day, (July 22) when the Mormons cele­ brate their first entrance to the valley, great crowds of Saints, with all the wives and innumerable little ones, pack the open Coney-Island-like excursion cars, throng at the water-side, and spread their luncheons on the long ta­ bles under the bough-covered booths which give the only protection against the sun. Unfortunately it is impossi­ ble to make trees grow on the borders of the lake-- the water and soil are too bitterly salt; moreover, there is no fresh-water in the rocky hills that tow­ er straight up from the beach, and any irrigation is thus denied the would-be forester. Lack of shade seems to make little difference with the bathers, how­ ever. They go in under the noonday blaze, and say their bare heads suffer no discomfort, and children and horses rush about apparently as energetic as in October. While the danger of sun­ stroke somehow seems very small, the lake is a treacherous water for swim- meiB. The great destiny of its waters sustain you so that you float easily, but swimming ahead is very hard work. Moreover, fatal consequences are likely to ensue if any of the brine is swallow­ ed ; it not only chokes, but it is de­ scribed as fairly burning the tissues of the throat and lungs, producing death almost as surely as the breathing of flame. Of course this occurs only in exceptional cases, but some lives are thus destroyed each summer, and many persons suffer extremely from a single accidental swallow. * * * I think few persons realize how won­ derfully, strangely beautiful this inland saline sea is. Under the sunlight its Avide surface gives the eye such a mass of brilliant color as is rarely seen in the temperate zone. Over against the horizon it is almost black, then ultra­ marine, then glowing Prussian blue, or here and there, close by, variegated with patches of green and the soft skyey tone of the turquoise. Gazing straight down off the end of the pier, or from the rough little steamboat, which is now degraded to do duty at its moorings as a restaurant, you learn that the water is transparent as glass, and the ripple marks on the bluish- white sand are visible at a great depth. If the lake were in a plain (remem­ bering the total abesence of forest or greensward), doubtless this richness of color would not suffice to produce the effect of beauty, but on every side stand lofty mountains. They seem to rise from the very margin to their riven, bare, and pinnacle-studded crests, where the snow lies in shaded patches. Soineof these ranges are a score of miles beyond the further beach, others close by. a few completely surrounded by the water--mere islands; but every group has its own color, from the snuff- brown earthen hue of the nearer slopes to the blue and misty ranges far away. In the noonday blaze of the vertical sun, or when at dawn its rays glint upon them, their prominences stand out distinctly, and streaks of shadow mark each of the great canons separat­ ing neighboring peaks; but at night, or when the sun loses its angle of ad­ vantage, these high lights are blotted out in th e uniform immaculate indigo which slowly solidifies heights and depths into a single grand silhouette of the whole Wahsatch. Watching these changing and lovely exhibitions of lavish colors, feeling the freshening and medical breeze, hea"k- ening to the gentle lapping of the w avelets, one can choose many a poetic name and foreign latitude to* fit the seme, and easily forget that he is in I tali, until his eye catches the sage­ brush.-- Ernest Ingersoll, in Har- l>er's*Matjazine. The House of Commons. Horrors! I did not see it at first, for one looks at the Speaker and the heart of the House. But the whole edge of the corral is a sort of smother­ ing, smoking volcano; a smoking, chew­ ing, reeking, drunken and debauched ragged edge. I now understand why ladies left. Ah! yes, I am a smoker; but there is a time to smoke. I never smoke in a church or in a temple. And such cigars as these, of the cheap Bowerv erder, no man of any sense or sensibility will smoke at all! How do you know they are "two-for-five's ?" Well I know this: that a man who is low enough rfhd mean enough to smoke here, is too mean to Bmoke any other kind than "two-for-five's." What Johnny Imagined He Saw. Mother, may I go to see the base­ ball game this afternoon?" "No, Johnny. You've been to see several games already. We can't afford so much expense. Just imagine you see it; that will do just as well." "All right, mother." "That's a good boy. Now run and bring me a bucket of coal right quick." "Just imagine you see a bucket of coal sittm' there, mother; it will do yon just as much good." Then Johnny imagined he saw his mother reaching for the strap, and he flew out after the coal like a good boy. --Kentucky State Journal. THE population of Texas--1,581,000 in 1880--has grown to 2,250,000 In 1^83, A TbrUllaff Experience One bitter cold morning several of ns stepped from tbe heated and almost suffocating air of a ball-room out on the balcony of a New York house when \ve heard the clang of many bells, deep- ton gued, giving warning of a fire. It was a big one we knew, for several dis­ tinct alarms were sounded. Now, my next passion to dancing was to 'run to those days Metamora Hose No. 29 laid at the corner of Twenty- first street and Fifth avenue, and I was a member. The house where we were tripping the light fantastic' was close to the hose company. Our blood grew heated as these bells rang out on the still cold air. I rushed to the street, and away down town somewhere could be seen a faint red glare, rising to the sky, a sure token of a big blaze to fol­ low. We were but a moment getting on our wraps in the house, and were at the hose company's as quicklv as you could snap a whip. All 29 hose were gentlemen firemen, in those good old days of the volunteer fire department, and we could all run, too. Tne cup of my happiness was full to the 9rim W J n • &a*ne<^ l>y good luck the tongue wid guided the cart down Broadway. For one moment a sickening sensation came over me as I thought how would , .ely Si*! I had taken to the dance that night get home. I could see her even then as we rushed over the stones sitting in'the German,' with my vacant chair beside her. In„the excitement of the moment I had forgotten all about my being the escort of this fair maid. How she did get home I hardly know to this day, for she has never spoken to me since, and none of her family have ever forgiven or forgotten that I did not appear to take Her home on that night. We heard from a straggler in the street that the fire was at Barnum's Museum. This gave renewed force to our feet, and we fairly flew along the street. When we reached the spot, what a sight was before us! The great building was ablaze on the two top floors, and several streams alreadv were pouring water on it. Jhe night or rather morning was bitter cold, and every bit of water that struck the low­ er part of the street would freeze at once. Even long stalactites of ice were beginning to form on the adjoining buildings where the hose was played on them, and the red glare of the tire, now under strong headway, lit them np like gold. The suffering animals within the museum, imprisoned and caged, began to moan and roar. The fire, the ice, and the wild cries of the poor animals made the night one of horror. Just at this moment with a great crash, right through a plate glass win­ dow on the first floor, a splendid tiger sprang. He lit in the street and stood for a moment at bay, and many a voice in the orowd cried: "Shoot him! shoot him!" We had given our hese to a steamer, and the water being just let into it, the fireman with a nozzle put the stream full against the animal. Its force and wash carried him off hia feet, and a moment afterward, "one of the finest" with a revolver put two balls into his body and finished him. I then made my way into the burn­ ing building from the basement and gained the first floor. A flight of steps was before me, and at the top I could, through the smoke, make out a door I mounted the stairs to render what aid I could. As I got about to the middle the heat warped and cracked the door, and it fell to one side, and there be­ yond, making right for those stairs was the big gorrila! Oh! never shall I for­ get that dread moment! The big flames began to lick the walls , and the space beyond that dreadful beast was a blaze of fire. The heat and smoke was awful and I felt my limbs shake as if palsied as I looked spell-bound at the awful hairy mass at the top of the steps. I could hear the thud of his huge foot as he moved or glided to the stairs. I could see his great monstrous body al­ most writhe with the heat. The stairs were narrow, and, great heaven! when he reached me, what would become of me? I stood transfixed, spell-bound with an awful terror. One hand clasp­ ed the banisters and one the wall, and I could not have moved one finger on either of those hands to have saved my life. I heard still the shouts of the non- maddened animals within the building! I heard the axes of the fireman break­ ing through the floors! I thought a thousand thoughts in a second, but I could not move-a hair's breadth! I ev­ en counted the steps between tbe mon­ ster and myself. There were but six- only six little short steps between me and grim death! The beast came slow­ ly on; glaring horribly at me--there were but four steps! Will he seize me in those fearful arms of his, thought I, from which the matted, coarse hair hung, toss me into the burning, seeth­ ing mass of fire and flames beyond us ? Another step he came. Oh, heaven! but one little short step now. I made a superhuman effort to* move, if but a muscle; but alas! I could not. The loathsome body of the br«te touched me. My breath came in gasps and my heart stood still, awe-stricken. One dread, claw-like hand griped upon my shoulder, as the other arm of the wild beast was raised to his neck. He tug­ ged there a moment as if for breath and strength. Now I sickened and shuddered. He threw the great mass of hair and hide over his head and re-, vealed a rough Celtic face within, and asked in hurried, frightened, and strong Hibernian tones: "For the love of St. Patrick, show me the way out of this!" We both escaped.-- J.S.H. in Express Gazette. Conjugal Affection. Some husbands are always too solici­ tous about the health of their wives. While walking on Austin Avenue, Mrs. Duzenbury stopped in front of the show window of a millinery store, and exclaimed: " What a beautiful assortment of hats!" "Come on quick, Louira. You will catch cold and die, if you stand still on that grating after you have been walk­ ing so fast. I can't let you take such risks," said the carefuj, affectionate husband; and before Mrs. Duzenbury could decide what kind of a bonnet to select, she was hurried past the danger­ ous spot.-- Texas Siftings. IT IS said of Dr. Willard Parker, re­ cently deceased, that he insisted upon having the full confidence of his pa­ tients, and in turn he confided to them the full diagnosis of the case, its causes and possible results. To this method he ascribed much of his success. His methods of treatment were of the sim- Elest possible character, as a rule using omely remedies. It was due in a great part to his simple mode of living, that he displayed so much vigor in his advanced years.--Dr. Eoote's Health Monthly. As TURNING the logs will make a dull fire burn, «0 changes of study a dull brain. 1 • ~ PITH AHP POINT. A VAH who dodges his board-bH! leads a creditable life.--New Orleant Item. THE dnde has an eye-glass single to his business. Bnt then he lm» no bttirf- ness.--Hawkey e. THE Mayor of Sioux Falls, Dakota, gets a salary of one (lollar a year, and it is believed he finds himself.--Bur- dette. THE latest racket is for actresses to pray before going on the stage. When they come off they swear at the light­ house. Two MUXES used on Salt Lake street cars rejoice in pet names--Sin and Misery--because it is a misery to drive them and a sin to whip them. MOST married women think bachelors ought to be taxed. Most bachelors who go into society at all are taxed pretty heavily. --New York Graphic. A BRIGHT reporter on the Buffalo Express, after seeing a delegation of Latter Day Saints, remarked that "Ra­ phael never painted such saints." THE cartying of concealed weapons has greatly increased in Kansas. Scarcely a man can be found there who does not have somewhere in his clothes one or two corkscrews. A VISITOR who was put in the "spare room" one night, when the temperature was lingering near zero, avoided a fatal cold by shunning the bed and sleeping on the marble top burean. "HERR MEYERS, I suppose you under-, stood that every one was to bring along something to this picnic. What have you brought." Herr Meyers: "My leetle twins, Hans and Jacob." SHE was young and had a pretty face and a Gainsborough hat, but when she asked if an apiary was not a place where they kept monkeys, the spell was broken and the charm vanished. YOUNG man, when you see an old maid adjusting her spectacles and clip­ ping out that part of a paper headed "Sealed Proposals," it is time for yon to take to the woods.--Pittsburgh Chronicle. "I CAUGHT a cold somewhere yester­ day," she remarked. "Probably it wail in your head," he said, and he woke three times that night to laugh over it and congratulate himself on his success as a punster. A BUFFALO minister announces that "many pulpits are now filled with dudes," This may be, but there are very few dudes in the pews, iliey stand outside waiting for the pretty girls to pass.--Philadelphia Call. EPIGRAM OX AN EPIGRAM. You recollect there lia- been sung . A proverb, famous In our tongue, Tli it, he who tights and runs aw*y May live to light another day. ? Methinks the witty adaife erred, An 1 needs a subat'itnted w rd-- For he who fights and runs away May live to run another diy. IT TOOK the Iowa church society to inaugurate something new and novel in the social business. They hold "avordupois socials." The young ladies are weighed before eating sup­ per, and the boys pay one-half cent a pound for it in her weight. It is said that real nice healthy fat girls don't stand any show at all. The slender , girls just monopolize^ all the boys.--- Peck's Sun. THE officer who opens the Court is called the "crier." On one occasion the said officer had lost his wife, who had led him an uncomfortable life, and he was of course absent from his post. When the Court came in the Judge, as usual said: "Mr. Crier open the Court." A young and facetious lawyer addressed the Court as follows: "May it please your Honor. Mr. B 1 cannot cry to-day; he has lost his wife!" AMATEUR theatricals? "You are just in time, Cicely, my dear. Isn't it a lovely evening? You will go to the rehearsal with me, of course?" "Re­ hearsal? What Eehearsal?" "Why, our Thespian society rehearser 'Borneo and Juliet,' this evening. I am to play Juliet." "You play Juliet? Well, I never! I hope I shall know enough when I reach your age to have myself cast as the nurse!" Woman's inhuman­ ity to woman. A YOUNG man living on the West Side received the following note of warning from a young lady residing in the Third Ward: "Deer John doint knme too nite pa haz had his butes haf sold an his fete ar so tendir he stase hom nites." It is safe to say that "Deer John" did'nt go. He had too much respect for pa's "tenclir fete" and "haf sold butes." He ought to send the old man a little pow­ dered alum and tannin to toughen up his "fete" so as to encourage him to go out "nites."--Peck's Sun. The Home Ange1. , 4 A man, says Robert J. Burdette, is among men all day long, hears politics, club stories, slang of the street, boot­ black repartee, and junior clerk smart­ ness, the ways and sayings and doings of men until he wearies of it all, and when he comes home in the evening he wants to see a home angel, with home- light in her face and lovelight in her eyes, deliciously womanly in dress and manner, with a voice as soft as the war of the street is harsh; a voice that is made for coaxing and petting: a face that is dimpled and beautiful browed, so that his heart doth safely trust in her knowing that "she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life," "strength and honor in her cloth­ ing." wisdom in her mouth, and "in her tongue the law of kindness," with the beautiful hands that are stretched out to the poor and reached forth to the needy; whose work 8 praise her in the gatis, so that her husband, also, who is known in the gates and sitteth among the elders of the land, he prais- eth her, because he knows that he owes nine-tenths of his success to such a wife. "Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain," but the brighter qualities of womanhood are fadeless, and are even "as the shining light that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." For the Enlightenment of Politicians. The word "bribe" is perhaps errone­ ously supposed to be derived from the French bribe, a morsel of bread given to a beggar. Bribery, in old English did not mean secret corruption, but theft, rapine, open violence, or official extortion. Dame Julyana Berners, in the "Boke of St. Albans',"' classes thieves and bryboui's together Lord Berners, in his translation of Froissart, describes the captain of a band of ir­ regular soldiery called Companums, as "the greatest brybour and robber in all France." Formerly he who ex­ torted was the briber; now he who cor­ rupts by payment of money, or by other valuable consideration, is a briber --exactly the opposite of the old mean­ ing, though both are equally dishonest. --St. Louis Globe-Democrat. GIRLS, never allow even a lover to have his arms around you. The papers daily show that thousands of our brightest joang men are going to waist. . . - • Wr.-v:..-1 :i- v'W:..... k;,;