The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

, . . . . . . - -- . , ' » Mtrilrmi) IPlaintlralri v > C_> ILLINOIS I. VAN SLYKE, Edltar and Publish#.. i EXRY, On THK SPNNT MB*. B* JAMES WHITCOMB BIT.KVr *!Sl , ife j H' and a wh iop-hoomT, Sine a sons of chcer f ^ Here's a holida.v, hoys, s „ Lasting half a year! -/ J -.Rnnnd the world, and half tt ' j* Shadow we have tried. t "Now we're where the laugh It-" On the sunny side! Piet'ons coo and mnttat, Ktruttln j high aioof. Where the sunlieams flatter Through the stable roof. iHere the chickens cheep, bow And the hen, with pride, iCluckinir tlmm to sleep, boys. On the sunny side! Here the clacking sulnea. Here the cattle moo. Here the horses whinny. Looking o it at you! On tiie hitehing-h'oek; boy#, - Grand!v satisfied, ' ' See the old peacock, boys, On the sunny side. ' Rohlns in thep-a^h trea, Bluc-hirds in the pear, Blossoms over each tree \ In the orchard t here! , " All tli" world's in joy, boys, ' . G l a d a n d g l o r i f i e d , > - v , As a romping bo\\ boys, On the suny side! 1 ,'Where's a he^rt m~lftnirii , Where's a heart as f real Where is any fe!li<w . .., : We would rathi r b:-? v Just ourselves or none, boys. World around and wide, Laughing in the snn, boys* On the snuny side! ' TT£ CONCORD PHILOSOI'HKR. Across the moorlands of the Not, We eh .se the gruesome When, And hunt the Itness of the What Through forests of the Then. Into 1 he inner consciousness We track the rafty Where;. We spear the Krgo tough, and beard The Ego in his lair. "With lassoes of J lie brain we catch The lances of the Was. And in the copses of the Whence We hear the 'Hunk-bees buzz. We c iinb the slippery Which-bark tree To watch the Thusness roll, . And pause betimes in gnostic rhymes To woo the Over-Soul! -Wa»ftu<f7^oN Hatchet. HP K TERRIBLE HIBHT. "Ah, sir, I see you are admiring my iflowers! Well, they are pretty--that •"they are--though I doubt as some •would call the marigdds and carna- j lions common and old-fashioned. You -don't see many of 'em now in your fine . ®e\v-fangled gardens, do you? It's a jiretty little place this, ain't it, sir? And it's my own, too--my very own-- sand will go to my grandson after me. i He's a good lad, he is--it's him as looks «fter the garden. Mighty fond of flow­ ers, he is, and rarely proud he'll be, I know, when he hears as a fine town gentleman has taken notice of 'em. i; Ah, I was fond of gardening, too, in amy time,! But I'm getting an old man aiow--85 1 am come Christmas--and I -can't expect to be spared much longer, * hough I'm hale and hearty yet, thank .Heaven! Ah! times have altered, sir, . «ince my young days! For the better, .you say? Well, things are grander »ow than they were then, but somehow ^ -I seem to like the old times the best, "perhaps because I was young and strong ^ "•*. j|n Vm. And talking of old times re- '\cninda me of something that once hap- 7 jpened to me. Like to hear it, sir? Well, so you shall, and welcome, if you 4<dou't mind wasting an hour or ho with If, ,, san old chap like me. Sit down, then, w " Jon that bench, and make yourself com­ fortable. "You've been to Chelmsford, per- * :i £;Siaps? Then maybe you know the Sar- • .aeon's Head? Well, close to where • ttiat now stands there used to be an *' ^*>ld inn called the 'Swan.' A queer '.old place it was, to be sure, with its -V ^casement windows and overhanging ^fables. ̂ I was living at Ralphan then ' •*--it's nigh upon sixty years ago--a far­ mer I was, and had been married only % M short time to a dear little wife as I ; .gloved well and true till she died, pooit °'^0as8! m# "One cold December day I started for Baintree to look at some stock as I ^thought of buying. As it was a two •days' journey, I meant to stop at Chelmsford for the night, and go on , "J 'early the next day. I didn't leave liome till about 2, and I had a weary yf.fijroad to travel, so that the darkness •came on before I reached the gibbet on •the edge of the common; and I can tell jyou my flesh crawled, as the saving is, •when I galloped past at full speed. It "was a bleak, cold night, and the road -was bad, so that it was late before I rode into Chelmsford. "I put up at the'Swan'--that being « -the first inn I came to--and was stand­ ing watching the ostler rubbing down *ny good old mare--for I always at- , "tended to that first thing--when the landlord came slowly out to me; he *was a short, sharp-faced man, with / • 4great bladk eyes that had an uneasy * eort of look in 'em. I told him I'd hacl •sa long ride and was glad enough to get safe into his yard--for I'd gold about me and we'd heard horrible tales of the srobberies and murders on the king's highway. Well, he showed me into % •long low room--the kitchen it was-- ;a brick floor and a brijrht fire burning. "'There's a noisy lot in the parlor, "®ir,' said he; 'you be quiet and cosy here, for maybe you're tired and chilly after you ride in the wind.' / "I ordered a steak and some wine, .•and, as I ate my supper, I thought to myself that I couldn't well have chosen itt better place than the 'Swan' to stop t - - at After I had finished I called for ' ; pipes and grog and sat by the fire with „the landlord, but I might as well have been alone, for he never spoke a word, ' , but sat staring into the fire with a - ' wicked look in his eyes that I didn't • like, though I didn't take muoh notice " ?'°* ̂ then. Ah, I know now what his "thoughts were as he gazed moodily into ||5 the glowing coals! He was thinning feTf1 "°* the disgrace brought upon his name «; '«•,' toy his only son, and wondering where the money was to come from that must be procured somehow if his boy was to Aifc bo saved from ruin. And then, doubt, he planned to murder me --ah, it's all true, sir, I've got his confession 13^'" * by nie now--and bury me down by the f riverside, in the meadow behind the I'7* S stable. Then he meant to turn my r. %?c> mare out before dawn so that the ser- "i ' vants might think I had left early; and j|^vr then, you see, when it was found, peo- , pie would think something had hap­ pened to me on the road to Braintree. Well, my companion roused himself af- ter a time and began asking me what I thought of the country, if I had ridden far, whether I had been advised to put up at the 'Swan,' and such like ques tioned. I answered thcia freely enough, * never supposing that he asked them for any ether reason than just to keep up -the conversation. I asked him to call me earlj, and he promised he would do Til it myself,' said he, 'for the girl and the ostler will ^e abed.' "Then he called his wife and told her to bring me a candle, which she did. She was coarse-looking care-worn, and I noticed, when she showed me to my room, that her voice, sounded thick as she bade me an evil 'Good night.' "My bed-room was a long, low room with queer old furniture, quaint carved chairs and a great four-post bedstead which seemed as big as a hearse. There was no lock to the door, and the bolts were rusty, so I could only put the latch down. 1 thought of putting a chair against it, but that seemed child­ ish and no protection after all. The night was wet and windy, and the sky black as ink. Try as I would, I couldn't get to sleep, and there I lay and listen­ ing to the ghostly tapping of the ivy leaves against the window, and think­ ing of the evil look in the landlord's eyes, and all the horrid stories I had ever read come crowding into my mind, when suddenly I started up in bed, wide awake enough, for I heard some­ thing or some one climbing up the ivy to my window. I lay with palpitating heart and straining eyes, listening to the horrible ghostly rustling which every moment sounded nearer. "Suddenly a thought struck m'e;! and I aroso hastily smoothing the bed­ clothes, as though the bed had not been slept in. I had just time to creep un­ der the bed, when the window was sha­ ken open, and somebody softly clipped in. It was a man, and, listening intent­ ly. I heard him sigh wearily to himself, as if he were tired out. Then he £ot into my bed, drew the clothes over him, and in a few minutes I heard him snor­ ing. You can imagine how pleasant I felt, and the scamp had my mcney-bag under his pillow too!" What was to be done? I thought of my happy home and the little wife now perhaps dream­ ing of me, and the thought of her gave me courage. I determined to snatch at my money and fight for it with the un­ seen visitor to the death, if need be. I was crawling from under the bed, when I heard another sound, nearing the door this time. In a minute the latch was quietly lifted, the door was gently pushed open, and I saw the landlord glide into the room. Then a hand holding a candle stole in at the door-- only a hand; but I knew those fingers well enough. The man crept on tiptoe to the bed and, leaning softly over the sleeper, stabbed him to the heart. There was one deep groan and all was over. The murderer drew the money from under the pillow and crept stealthily to the door, glancing behind him as though he feared the dead man would get up and follow him. - "Shaking all over with hair on end I crawled from my hiding place, groped about fox my clothes, and, after stand­ ing a moment, dazed with horror, fol­ lowed the guilty couple. Their room was almost opposite mine, and I could see the light under their door, which was barely closed. I pushed it open and peeped in. The _ table faced the door, and there they stood with their backs to me, so inten^upon the money that I crept close to them without being heard. " 'Look, look,' I heard the man whis­ per--'there is more than enough to save our boy! How they shine! And all ours, wife--ours!' '•No, mine, murderer! I snorted with a voice of thunder, and, snatching the bag from his nerveless grasp, I dashed the light from the woman's hand and fled back swiftly to the room where the dead man lay. "Opening the window, I groped about with one hand for the ivy bough, cling­ ing somehow to the sill with the other, and at last managed to scramble down, reaching the ground bruised, shaken, breathless. As I rested a moment to get my breath, I heard from the room above an awful cry sung out in a wo­ man's voice-- " 'My boy, my boy, my only son!' ' "I clambered over the gato which led into the street. A watch-box stood close by in the square, and I hurriedly told my story to the watchman. He started in horor, as well he might, and wanted to fetch his mate; but I told him we were more than a match for tfiose we should find at the inn, so he came with me. A frightened servant opened the door to us, and I led the way to the room I had just quitted. The watchman bent down and peered into the dead man's face. " 'Ah,'he whispered, 'It's as I feared! It's their own son--they didn't know he was at home, and so they mistook him for you, sir.' "I felt myself turn queer and giddy, for I knew the meaning of that pitiful cry, 'My only son!' "And what of the murderers? They had not so much as tried to escape, and the door wasn't even barred against us. The woman lay moaning on the floor; the man sat huddled up in a chair by the bed. When we entered he held out his hands to be manacled without utter­ ing a word. When I told him how it happened that his son had fallen a vic­ tim instead of me, he just stared in my face and made no sign that he heard my ghastly tale. "Well, sir, that's about all. The mother, poor soul, died raving mad, and the man was hanged at Tyburn; but not another word did he speak from first to last, save once--and that was when the judge passed sentence on him. Then he raised his head, and, with a look in his eyes which I never forgot, he said-- " 'An old, old man, my lord--my only son!' That's all, sir. The strangest storv you ever heard ? Well, I dare say it is; but it's all true, every word of it; for I've got the papers to prove it, and if you'll be pleased to come in and see "em, you'll be welcome as flowers in May, that you will! Not now? Well, then, I'll bid you good day, and thank you kindly for letting me talk to you, for it does me good to chat a bit some­ times, that it do! Good day, sir, and a pleasant walk to you!" Prairie Fires. A prairie fire is not the most pictur­ esque or dangerous thing in the world, though I have often read of this red regiment in line charging across the plains, driving before it herds of buf­ faloes, wolves, and grizzlies, and swol- lowing men at a mouthful When in the Northwest I asked many old set­ tlers if they had ever known any man in danger from a prairie fire. The an­ swer was always "No." The reason is that the fire does not advance in a uni­ form line; the head fire, which is of small width, is strong and rapid; but the side fires are easily stepped over. "The only fire," said an old fire king, "that I ever saw that may have been dangerous for a few minutes was caused in a singular way. The grass was thick, and the prairie had been burning some time, and side fires stretched as far as the eye could reach. Suddenly the wind shifted, ten miles or more of side fire turned into a head fire, and for a brief period raced over a thick grass like a cavalry regiment."-- ,John Swinton's Paper. AGRICULTUKAL. t». H. BATLEY, a large fruitgrower in Michigan, says that he can make more money out of apples at 25 cents a bush- el, than out of wheat at $1. LET the horses' litter be dry and clean underneath as well as oij top. Standing on hot, fermented ma­ nure makes the hoofs soft and brings on lameness. IT has been a common opinion that the horn of the steer or heiter gave in­ dications of the age of the animal, but this is now denied by Dr. Stewart, of New York, who states that at no time is such evidence to be relied upon. THE honey locust has been extensive­ ly used in Massachusetts for hedges of late years on account of the hardiness. It is a very vigorous growth and is diffi­ cult to keep within proper limits; thor­ ough cutting back is required to secure a thick mass at the bottom. THE Hon. C. M. Clay says that the Jerseys are the native cattle of Russia, and he could loac a fleet with them at from $3 to $10 per head. It this is true there is no use in the farmers of the Channel Islands allowing the supply to fall off. It is more than probable if we would import directly from Kussia little careful judgment would give us a stock of Jerseys that would l>e hardy, vigor­ ous, and able to "hoe her own row." "FULL feeding from the start," says the New York Times, "should be the maxim of the stock feeder, whether his object is beef, mutton, pork, or poulft-y. Yet there is a way of high feeding by which an enormous carcass of fat is prematurely produced by rich feeding in a short time. And it is a question whether this high feeding is as profita­ ble as a longer period of more moder­ ate feeding, since it is the moderately- fed and not overfattod beast which meets the customer's view's, rather than the animal which takes the prize at a fat-stock show. FAKMKHS in New Jersey use goats to protect their sheep from dbgs. Two goats can drive away a dozen dogs, and two are about all each farmer puts with his sheep. As soon as a dog enters a field at night the goats attack him, and their butting propensities are too much for the canine, who finds himself rolling over and over. A few repeti­ tions of this treatment causes the dog to leave the field, limping and yelling. Formerly, when a dog entered a sheep field at night, the sheep would run wildly around and cry piteously. Since the goats have been used to guard them, they form in line behind the goat and seem to enjoy the fun. JAPAN clover made its appearance in North Caroliua in 1850, and has since spread to other sections. It is a le­ guminous, parennial trifoliate, scientif­ ically known as Lespedosa striata, and is said to be excellent for grazing, fat­ tening stock and improving land. It has a deeply penetrating root, and likes a clay soil, growing and thriving on the naked banks of gullies, and brings its supplies from below. It has more ash than clover, half as much potash, two- thirds phosphoric acid, and more nitro­ genous matter. It thrives in an ex­ hausted soil, where red clover will not catch at all, and stands the summer well. Prof. FAILYEB, of the Kansas Agri­ cultural College, gives some excellent suggestions in the college paper, the Industrialist. He gives the results of his own personal experience: "From a somewhat varied experience in feed­ ing all the ordinary materials, includ­ ing corn,, bran, shorts, rye-chop, corn-chop, and mixed chop, I have come to the conclusion that by plenty of good hay and a mixture of either rye-chops or shorts with corn- chop, in the proportion by weight of two of the latter to one of the former, best results in butter are obtained. Turnips and other roots are noted for increasing the yield of milk. They have not a corresponding effect on the yield of butter; but often have an in­ direct effect of great value. I have found that for profit one can not feed too high, provided always that the food is properly digested. A good cow--and none other should be kept--will turn this additional feed into butter; and,of course, a greater per cent, is realized on the entire ration." THE CHEMISTRY OF ENSILAGE.--It is well known that a mass of green corn fodder, or green hay, if piled or stacked up, will soon ferment, heat, and pass into decay. In the siio, the fodder is closely packed, and, the receptacle be­ ing air tight, fermentation and heat, in­ stead of encouraging decay, prevent it, and are favorable to the preservation of the mass. The presence of air is ne­ cessary to decay, and the complete ex­ clusion of air tends to the preservation of perishable substances. JJr. Tliurber says that "in green fooder corn we have a mass of succulent stems and foliage," in which preparation has been made for the production of grain. These are filled with juices holding in solution the matei'ial that would soon be depos­ ited in the grain as starch, etc., but now largely in the form of sugar. When the coi n plant is cut and packed in the silo, fermentation, the first step in de­ cay, at once begins. By the action of the oxygen of the air upon the sugar and other contents of the stalks, etc., various changes take place, one of which is to produce carbonic acid. This acid is a gas in which a candle cannot burn or any animal live, and in which no further fermentation can occur. If the silo air is tight the very first step in the fermentation of its contents pro­ duce a' gai that acts as a preservative and prevents further change. The more compact the fodder corn, or other succulent material, the less air there will be among it, and the sooner will the fermentation stop. The fermenta­ tion not [only acts upon and changes the composition of the air within the silo, but the fodder itself is acted upon and changed. Sugar, when present in the juices of the forage, is at first con­ verted into alcohol, and, if fermenta­ tion continues long enough, acetic acid, or vinegar, will be formed from the al­ cohol thus produced. If, however, the silo is properly constructed, the walls made of concrete or other material, and the contents be cut fine and well packed, and carefully covered with an air-tight covering, such as a fly of oiled duck cloth, tarpaulin, or sail-cloth, upon which is placed eight or ten inch­ es of sand, and the whole top surface then covered with boards and weighted with about five hundred pounds of stone to each square yard of surface, there cannot be sufficient air present to allow fermentation to go on to any in­ jurious extent. Injury may occur to the contents of the silo by undue expo­ sure to the air, either while filling or while feeding out the forage, and great care is necessary to prevent damage from this cause. In the beginning of e'nsilage experiments it was supposed that the fodder was subjected by the heat of fermentation to a kind of cook­ ing, and that the plant tissues were thus made tender. The idea is now abandoned, for it is well kiMtwa tbftt the most successful silos are those in whioh the least fermentation takes place and in whioh the least heat is produced. Perfect exclusion of the air preserves the contents so far as is possible in the most natural and pala­ table condition.--Kansas City Jour­ nal. - " ' ' HOUSEKEEPERS' HELPS. IloiW TO KEEP PIE-CRUST.--Pie-crust can be kept a week, and the last be as good as the first, if put into a tight- covered cKsh, and kept in a cool place. We have frequently done this, both summer and winter and it has always been successful. CLAM EIIITTERS.--TWO cups of milk, three eggs, two cups creamery buttered flour and fifty clams. Beat the eggs well, stir in the flour, adding the milk slowly while stirring; lastly add the clams, which should be chopped very fine. Fry in hot lard. BOILED HAM.--Slice the meat from the ham raw, as thin as you can, then put it inton pan of cold water; set it on the stove in a stew pan and let it come to a boil; then have your griddle hot, and broil the meat with a little butter dropped into the pan and a plentiful sprinkling of black pepper. FRUIT PUDDING.--Chop a pineapple quite fine; take some cake which ia a little dry, rub it fine in your hands, or crush it on a kneading board; put it in­ to a pudding dish in alternate layers with the pineapple, sweeten abundant­ ly, mosten with cold water, and bake in a moderate oven for an hour and three- quarters. CANTALOUPE PICKLE.--Seven pounds of cantaloupe rind cut from a melon ripe but not soft. Peel thickly; wash and drain thoroughly. To two quarts of vinegar add four pounds of brown sugar, and one ounce each of cinnamon, white ginger, and cloves, with Hie rind of two lemons, Boil the vinegar and sugar together and remove any scum that rises; add the spice and let it boil a few minutes, then put in the fruit and let it boil until the syrup looks a little thick. POACHED EGGS.--Eggs are poached by dropping them raw from the broken shells into a pot of boiling water; lift them from the water in a perforated la- del, and do not let them remain long enough in the water for the white to be made opaque. The beauty of a poach­ ed egg is the visibility of the yellow yolk as seen through the semi-transpar­ ent white envelope. Served on a slice of hot buttered toast, and lightly sprinkled with pepper, a poached egg is most appetizing. In the spring of the year, as a top dressing to boiled greens of any kind, eggs prepared this way are almost universally liked. LEMON CUSTARD.--One quart of milk, four eggs, one cup of sugar, half-tea- spoonful of salt, and heaping teaspoon- ful of cornstarch, the juice and grated yellow of half a lemon. Boil the milk in a double boiler, heat the yolks and sugar together until they are light, dis­ solve the starch and salt in a little cold water. Add the cornstarch slowly to the boiling milk. Then stir in" the yolks, sugar and lemon. The corn­ starch prevents the lemon from curdling the milk, as it sometimes does. Boil five minutes. Pour into jelly glasses when cool. A meringue made of the whites of the egga beaten to a stiff froth, four tablespoonfuls of powdered sugar and the juice of half a lemon can be piled on top, with bits of red currant jelly dotted over it. How Soda Water is Made. "Did you ever think how the soda water you drink with such relish is made ? queried an attendant of one of the fountains in an up town pharmaoy. "Yes, but never found out. How is it made?" "We start in by filling our generator with 14 gallons of water, 7| gallons of marble dust, and 34 gallons of vitriol, the latter poured in very carefully, as too quick precipitation of that ticklish liquid would generate a pressure of gas sufficient to cause an explosion. From the generator a pipe leads to and con­ nects with the cooler. On this is a gauge, and when it indicates a pressure of 185 pounds to the square inch the cooler is connected with our fountain by rubber tubing, and the gas is turned into the ten or twenty gallons of ice- cold water that the fountain contains. Then it is ready to serve out to custo­ mers as deliciously cool Arctic soda water flavored to taste, and only costing 10 cents a glass." "Do you make your own flavoring ?" "Certainly. In our laboratory. We not only make our own flavoring, but also all our mineral water. Just send in your order, and, no matter where the mineral is situated, in this country or in Europe, we will give you a bottle of it freshly made by our own chemist," "What is the process called by which you make your soda water?" "Well, it is a process that imitates the 'Matthews process,' and is genarally called by that name." "And the only ingredients you use are?" "Water, marble dust,' and vitriol. These, well shaken, generate the gas* that gives the soda taste to the water in the fountain. That is all."-- New York Mail and Express. Tricks of the Trade. They do say that sales-people in shoe- stores have a unique way of deceiving lady customers. Their method is to lay aside a pair of shoes to which some trivial objection had been made, and bring forth others, which are tried on without success. Then the sales-per­ son suddenly remembers that a few hours previous their arrived a case of sample shoes which have not yet been put upon the market. After a few moments spent in another part of the establishment the attendant comes forth with the first pair of shoes condemned, done up in an elegant box, which is un- wraped with due ceremony, and the shoes held before the customer's eyes in a way that is both tempting and con­ vincing. "That is a new style," says the sales-person," and one that will become popular." "Have none of them been sold yet?" asked the customer. "No, madam; let me try this one on you. Ah, that's your fit, and give your foot an uncommonly pretty look!" Nine times out of ten the trick does the work, and the customer makes the purchase, all unconscious of the fact that she has a shoe which has been in the store probably for months, and to which she took exceptions but a short time before. It may be very wicked to deceive the ladies in this kind of a style, but the* seller eases his conscience by declaring: that it is a deception which has done no harm while it aided him to make a! sale.--Philadelphia Bulletin. IF YOU wish particularly to gain that good graces and affection of certain< people, men or women, try to discover; their most striking merit, if they have one, and their dominant weakness--for', every one has his own; then do justice- to the one, and a little more than jus* tifiA to rfthdtiisvHalil CURIOUS AND SCIENTIFIC. ' IN Russia, for locomotive and station­ ary engines, the use of native mineral fuel as compared with foreign is steadi­ ly increasing. Some railways not far from collieries have returned to the combustion of wood. T THE weight of any iron bar of wrought iron may be found by these rules: Flat and square iron, multiply the area of the end in inches by the length in feet, and this product by the constant number 3.33; the quotient ia the weight in pounds. Bound iron : multiply the square of the diameter in inches by the length in feet, and the the product by the constant 2.61; the, quotient is the weight in pounds. WHILE there may be danger in houses and factories lighted by electricity frontf accidental shocks received, it will not be as great as that arising from gas and boilers. Every electrical engineer will need to take care so as to arrange leads as to make it impossible almost for any one to touch both at once. In case of fire the electric wire would heat and fuse perhaps, but would not add combustible and explosive material to the flames. DISCUSSING the resistance of disease germs to disinfectants, the Oesundheit. remarks that it is extremely probable that the germ which produces smallpox epidemics is present in the form of living bacilli in the fluid which is the principal bearer of the infection--the lymph removed from the postules. The degree of the vitality of the bacilli va­ ries in the different kinds of lymph, that from cowpox losing vitality much more readily than the so-oalled human lymph. THE London journal, Fngineering, says that the irrigation system of Italy is probably the most complete in the world, although it is constantly being increased; and it forms a part of the elaborate system of defense against floods, necessitated by the conforma­ tion of the Northern Provinces. Ac­ cording to the latest official statistics, the irrigation canals of Piedmont alone give 125,550 gallons per second, dis­ tributed over 1,340,000 acres; and those of Lombardy 95,355 gallons per sec­ ond, distributed over 1,680,400 acres. A PAPER recently read before the French Academy of Medicine expressed the writer's conviction that one in every 5,000 persons is buried alive. This es­ timate, however exaggerated, is not calculated to allay an apprehension which is conspicuous among the French people, and which was lately brought to public attention by the declaration of the President of the Chamber of Notaries that express instructions are given in one will out of ten to have the testator's heart pierced by a qualified surgeon before the lid of "the coffin is screwed down. DR. MOSLER, writing in a German medical journal, attributes the presence of tubercles in the intestines mainly to the swallowing of sputa. Those who are afflicted with catarrhal affections of the air passages, and formation of large quantities of mucus and other unclean secretions, should remember that na­ ture effects a discharge of these sub­ stances from the membranes for the purpose of ridding the body of them. If, then, through carelessness or other causes the diseased matter is permitted to pass into the stomach and intestines, it is likely to disturb those organs, and, as Dr. Mosler says, give rise to disease there.--Dr. Foote's Health Monthly. "Common." Not many years after the war of the Revolution there was a jury trial in which the plaintiff's counsel supported his case by quoting the common law of England. There were two or three old soldiers on the jury, and the defend­ ant's lawyer,a mere pettifogger,thought that an appeal to their ignorance and prejudices would be the most effective reply. "Gentlemen," said he, assuming the air of an indignant patriot, "how dare the counsel quote to you* the common law of England. Some of you helped to give that country a good beating,and are you to be insulted by having its common law flung at yoa. Why didn't the counsel quote to you its best law ? I tell you, gentlemen, that we Ameri­ cans are worthy of having its uncom­ mon law quoted to us." He won his case, as that jury would not be insulted with any common law. It seems from the following sketch, published by the Kentucky State Journal, tnat the ambiguity of the word common has caused the Legisla­ ture of that state to be censured: "What are you thinking about, Un­ cle Ned ?" was asked the latter as he was sitting on a salt barrel. "Well, sah, I'se jes' thinkin'dat Ken­ tucky had oughter be ashamed of it­ self." "Why so?" "Well, you see da was dat Legislatur down da ter Frankfort all las' wintali an\l dis spring till corn plantin' time a-p^ssin' a new skule law." "Yes." "An' whut does yer tink is de out­ come?" "Well they passed a very good school law." "No, sah. Dey was paid a thousand dollahs a day, and de result wus dat at las' dey passed nuflin' but a common skule law, wen fur dat big pay dey outer passed a uncommon school law. Da's no skule pergression in dis state, suah.--"Kemucky State Journal. How Time is Measured. How the hundredth part of a second is measured is told in The Washington Post It says: "The chronograph, as its name implies, is a time writer. Without it the division of time into a hundredth part of a second--a division so small that the mind can hardly ap­ preciate it--would be impossible. It is a revolving cylinder, bearing a foun­ tain-pen attached to a magnet. As the pendulum of the clock swings its sec­ onds it sends the electric current to the magnet. The latter gives a nervous click and the pen marks a small but distinct break on the paper. These breaks distinguish the seconds, and the space between them is measured by fine divisions on a slip of steel. A sec­ ond in time, measured by space, is about as long as thisr-- --." He Kicked. "You resisted the officers, I believe, Sam?" "Yes, sah, I 'fess I did kiok when dey cum fer me." "Why did you?" "You see, Jedge, dey didn't liab de rite sorter papers, an' I w'ant gwine dout dey fix a right kind o' warrint." "But the officer had a peace warrant for you." "I knose dat, Jedge, but I ain't one o' dose fool niggahs what can be foch wid a piec o' warrint; hit takes a whole dockyment to bring me."--Atlanta Cons ti tution. IT IS not always safe for a man to at­ tempt to follow itis knows. IN FAYOR OF PEACE. Some time ago, at a public gathering m Webfoot County, Col. Ladsmon was selected to read the Declaration of Inde- pendence. He had not proceeded far when an old fellow who had come With a large following of Dry Fork boys, shouted: "Mister, whut sort o* artikle is that you're readin?" . ;Ple Declaration of Independence, Wall, now, now, the war's over out here in this section, an' we don't want none o' that secesh business. I fit for the South, an I sniffed a good deal o' sniobe an' stopped several pounds o' lead, but when \ flung down my old fuzee I agreed that the scrimmage was dun. Now, mister, I don't think that you are doin' right to come out here an' read that thing to the young folks. Lee'a dead an' Grant's basted up, they te« me, so what's the use in all this hurrah business ? I'm as good a South­ ern man ,a£ anybody, but I never was no glutton. I ve got enough, let me tell you." My dear sir," said the Colonel, "is it possible that you do not understand this document--a glorious emblazon­ ment of principles for the establish­ ment of which our forefathers shed their sacred blbod." "Needn't spile so much o' your edy- cation, mister, for I'low you'il need it before you get to the end o' your row. I never toated college whitewash on the back o my coat, but I've got' years like a fox an', a eye that can t£ll a blacksnake from a scorpion. That thing you've got there ia rank pizen. Ain't it, Leviticus?" turnine to one of the Dry Fox boys. '"That's what it is." Leviticus re­ plied. "That thing, mister, mout have been all right in '61, but it won't do now, for the cradle's rockin' in peace an' the blue- eyed gal with the peachy jaws is singin' a sweet song in the orchard." "My dear friend," said the Colonel, "let me explain. Gentlemen, please keep quiet. There is no need of excite­ ment. When our forefathers were op­ pressed by the British Government they threw off the yoke and declared by this paper," shaking the Declara­ tion of Independence, "that they were free. They fought, bled, and maintain­ ed this avowal of freedom; and this glo­ rious document will ever live as the greatest National structure the world has ever known." "That's all right, mister," said the man from Dry Fork, "an' is talked of a heep puttier than I could do it, but the war is dun over, I don' see no blood 'round here. Do you, Leviticus ?" "Ain't found none yit," Leviticus re­ plied. "No, fur it's all dried up. Now pod- ner," continued the advotate of peace and the fcyrgetfulness of war, "put up your warrant o' arrest an' talk about something we slosh "round in every day." "I shall not put up this glorious pa­ per." "Am' thar no persuasion ?" "No persuasion and no human force can make me sheath this great sword of argument." ' O, well, we don't want to have no trouble, but I reckon yer'll put it up." "I swear that I will not." "O, I reokon yer will." 'Til die first." "O, yes, you will. Put her up: now an' come along with us boys. We've got a jug o' the best old stuff down here you ever seed, an' " "Old gentlemen--old patriot of a school whose session is closed--I am with you," exclaimed the orator, throw­ ing a quid of tobacco with a loud "spat" on the bald head of a tax as­ sessor. "I was taken in charge this morning by a party of Prohibitionists, and have suffered much in the flesh. Now, my dear sir, my deliverer, lead me to the consecrated ground. The Declaration of Independence can wait several years longer; I cannot wait five minutes. Here's to you, old patriot," --turning up the jug. "Ah--hah-- hah."--Jrkansaw Traveler* Three Meals a Day. An English writer gives some much- needed advice as to the time and fre­ quency of meals. In his opinion the present usual practice of three meals a day has good reason, as well as custom, in its favor. When work of any kind is being done, whether mental or bodi­ ly, the intervals between taking food should not be so long as to entail de­ mands on the system when its store of material for the generation of force is exhausted. An ordinary full meal, in the case of a healthy man, is generally considered to have been completely di­ gested and to have passed out of the stomach in four hours. A period of rest should then be granted to the stomach. Assuming that two hours are allowed for tliis, the interval between one meal and another would be six hours; and this accords with- the experience of most men. During rest and sleep there is less waste going on, and especially during sleep there is a greatly dimin­ ished activity of all the functions of the body. The interval, therefore, between the last meal of one day anil the first of the next may be lonper, a-j it generally is, than between the several day meals. Assuming that breakfast be taken about 8 or 9 o'clock, there should be a mid­ day meal about 1 or 2. The character of this must depend on the nature of the day's occupation and the conve­ nience of tho individual. With women and children this is generally a hungry time, and the mid-day repast, whether called luncheon or dinner, is the chief meal. So is it with the middle or la­ boring classes, for the most part. But for merchants, professional men and others, whose occupations take them from home all the day, this is inconve­ nient, and, moreover, it is not found conducive to health or comfort to take a full meal in the midst of the day's work. There can, however, be no doubt that much evil arises from at­ tempting to go through the day without food, and then with exhausted powers sitting down to a hearty meal. Some­ thing of a light, easily digestible, but sustaining character should be taken toward 1 or 2 o'clock. Sympathy for the Cook. Mother (to married daughter). -- "Why, what's the matter, Clara? What are you crying about?" Clara--"Henry is awfully cruel (sob), he is getting worse and worse every day (sob). What do you suppose he said just now ? He totd me I must get rid of the cook; he couldn't stand her cooking any longer (sob). And he knows well enough that she hasn't done a bit of cooking for a fortnight, and that I have done it al! myself ! Boo-hoo! boo-lioo!"--Boston Transcript. WHENEVER you are angry with one you love, think that the dear one might die that moment. Your anger would vanish'at once.--Rogers. A MAN without enemies ia a gun with­ out powder. PITH AND POINT. A SIIAYBUB--The dude. , SEA serpents--A faculty peculiar to confirmed inebriates only. AH Ohio newspaper speaks of a MFTN being bruised by the emphatic gesture of a mule. SLKKT'INO-CAES are a great comfort to travelers in Mexica The wise bandits never bothers the passengen. They go for the porters. ONE of the sufferers by a late raiU way accident was rushing wildly about, when some one asked him if he was hurt. "No," he said, "but I can't find my umbrella." "Yes," said a butcher, as he watched a dog making off with a big piece of liver, "I believe this is the only busi­ ness in which a man can lose flesh without growing thin." A BACHELOR set fourth his epitaphas follows: At three-score winter's end I A cheerless being sole and sad: The nuptial knot I never tie J, And wished my father never had. A YOUNG lady who lately De­ ceived a bouquet of roses was some-' what amused to find the donor"s visit­ ing card attached to it, and written on one side was these words: "Not to ex­ ceed 5s." "Do YOU know what the board over that cow's face is for?" asked the Colonel. "No," responded the Major, "unless it is to keep her blushes from being seen when the milkman works the pump-handle." WE were dining together at a French restaurant, and spied, to our intense disgust, a fly in the soup. "Waiter 1" I cried indignantly. My friend inter­ posed. "Whatever you do, don't men­ tion the fly, they'll charge it extra in the bill." "You don't seem to be as gloomy as I should think your trade would make you," remarked a young man to a pawnbroker, as he passed over a dollar shirt stud and received a loan of ten cents on it. "Why should I be gloomy ?" "Because," said the youth, "you are in such a loan some business." LORD CHESTERFIELD having on a cer­ tain occasion respectfuMy remonstrated against an appointment which George II. wished to make, the King, enraged, exclaimed, "Veil, appoint te teffil if you like." "As your Majesty pleases," 're­ plied Chesterfield; "and shall the in­ strument be filled out in the usual way: 'To our right trusty, well-be­ loved cousin and counsellor ?'" A MAN leaning over a fenco in Ken­ tucky asked another man who was rid­ ing past with a shot-gun across his saddle, "Where are you going?" "There is a little social gathering at the grocery. Suppose you come along." "Can't do it." "Why not?" "My six shooter is out of order, and I haven't sharpened my bowie-knife in a week. Good luck to you! Take care of your­ self." A WASHINGTON letter says: "A lady was much surprised recently upon re­ ceiving notice from her dusky cook that she was about to leave her service in order to enter into the holy state of matrimony. 'Why,' said she, 'I did not even know you had an admirer.' 'Oh, yes'm, fur some time.' 'Who is it, Mary ?' 'Don't you 'member, Miss Liz­ zie, that I 'tended a fun'l 'bout two weeks ago ? It's the corps' husband.' " "I INTEND to give my boy a trade," said Mrs. Murphy to tho carpenter; "he shan't carry mortar in the hod if I «»n help it. Why, he has the greatest taste for tools, an' can make most anything; chairs and tables an' such like. A ma­ niac he wants to be, an' a maniac he shall be if you will take him in your employ." "You want to make him a what?" exclaimed the carpenter,aghast. "A maniac, uv course." "You mean a mechanic." "Well, mechanic or ma­ nia, anyway you plaze, sir; but I'm bound to give him a trade." The Art of Not Being Understood. The importance of the art of being able to express one's self, either in con­ versation or in writing, with concise­ ness, force, and accuracy cannot be over-estimated. Yet, if one may judge from the talk of his neighbors in a rail­ road car, and from the columns of the average newspaper, there is no branch of learning that, considering its im­ portance, is so neglected. If lie has plenty of time at his disposal almost any one can make himself understood, but too often the number of words used is out of all proportion to the ideas. The peculiarly nervous temperament, and the limited vocabulary of most Americans lead them to express them­ selves in a vague,verbose fashion. They are too long in getting at the pith of what they are talking about; and when they reach this point their inability to remember the two or three words, that would put their thoughts in a compact, intelligible form, compels them to use ten, where one, were it the right one, would have been sufficient. Not infre­ quently this vagueness is a cloak as­ sumed for the moment to cover imper­ fect information or ill-defined ideas re­ garding the subject that is being dis­ cussed. This false pride which shows itself in a desire to seem to know something about that of which one knows little or nothing, is the cause of much loose, meaningless talk which may serve its purpose temporarily, but which more often leaves the listener in such a state of uncertainty that he is as likely as not to attribute his doubts to his own dullness. Honesty, simplicity, and ex­ actness are not qualities that are con­ spicuous in the conversation of an or­ dinary American, or even in that of a man of liberal education. The tempta­ tion to extravagance and insincerity, which, strictly speaking, are forms of dishonesty, is great, especially if one wishes to create the impression that he is unusually clever; and simplicity and exactness of statement, being often­ times unattainable, give way to circum­ locution and generalities. The result is that one gives at best only im­ perfect expression to his ideas.--The Hour. Dickens' Appaling Taste in Dress. When in 1839, Dickens was called for (as the author of the libretto) on the first night of John Hullah's opera, he wore a swallow-tail coat with gilt but­ tons, cfimson velvet waist-coat,, black satin stock, two breastpin conjoined by a little gold chain, a large gold chain meandering over his waistcoat, black kerseymere pantaloons, silk stocking*, and pumps, and yellow kid gloves. His taste (in dress was appalling. Howard Paul relates that, Dick­ ens having called but left no name, he asked the servant: "What sort of looking person was he?" The reply was: "I should say, sir, a respectable kind of gasman."--Portland Trans- script. THE eye of the master will do more work than both of his hands. Not to oversee workmen is to leave your purse open.--Franklin.