dtoMmf lbebUel iwriSSitoSwiom^anrt dre£Pi Ae katydid's dumb and . tho nightingale's wetry. " ONora! I'm wadin' <i *•, The grass, and parfujln* The dews at your door, wid my swate sere- a and forsaken, WHOM you're never wakln' To tell me you fe wid me, and I am mistaken! Don't think that my Rlngin* Iti wrong to be flingin' Fornlnst of tho dreams that tho angels am brlnsrln'; For if your pure spirit Mlfffet waken and hear It, / You'd never be dreamin' the Saints cotiM come •It. Then lave off yourslapln'-- • The pulse of me'i lapia' S, ^ lobars the two eyes of j»x tara'S#A# Ah, Nora! Itshopin' Your windy ye'll open And ligbt up the night where the heart of me's gropin'. X1CKEL8 PLUOQED WITH UUD. In thia tine of frequent changes, *, Friendship broken in a day; Brightestdreams of brilliant future Fading in an hour away; " When the cfouds of life nro darkes|pr>'a And the fondest hopes are tied, Thero is nothing half so constant . As a nlck c- plugged with lead. ' Oh.how often I have pondered ^j|pr to put Its^worth at par; 1(0--surely a bad nickel s Worth at least a bad cigar. Still the goddess sits serenely, od I ucro n jrcur ugv I |IIHWU her With her fillet plugged with lead. With her pretty piitictur Where a year ago I placed her nead. m Scorned by all whom it approaches Thrust aside by l eggars blind, : Even in the deacon's basket • fe Sweet repose it can not find; r%, - Doomed to drear and dire inisfortaM, To ull things rejected wed, 8ince the social ostracism Of the nickel plugged with load. Still, perhaps, when war is raging Cfe It will flna surcease from woe, | And, when molded to a bullet, Seek tho heart of warlike foe; Or, perhaps, when funds are low* Armed with needle, thimble, th: 1 might make a trouser's bntton Of the nickel plugged with lead, M ft RETIRED BUBGLAB. BY ELEANOB KIBK. «¥*,! am pleased to see you, and yon cau take mj career for a text if tbat |8 your object in visiting me; but you are not at liberty to mention my name. Ton can call me Jack for short You see I have had notoriety enough. Your article may be valueless without my name? Very sorry, indeed, but the talker in this case must only be known to the talkee." There was no way of evading these terms, and they were accepted with thanks. "How is it that my English is so good ? Then you do observe a differ ence between my English and that of most men of my profession? I am glad this is the ca*e, I had a good ed ucation; in fact, I was intended for the ministry. You laugh, my friend? I assure yon that it was only a feather's weight that decided my vocation. My mind was of a studious, philosophical, and scientific oast. I got into a bog about free-will and predestination, and then I stuck. It was impossible for me to honestly preach either doctrine, and I certainly was bound to commit myself to one or the other. There was •till another obstacle in my path. It was: I was born with an overween ing desire for the unattainable." ; • This was certainly a poetic way of yetting around the eighth command- . ment, and the writer's respect increased prodigiously. "I was so constituted," the speaker ' proceeded, "that I could not care for anything, however beautiful, which was within my reach. Now, I was not responsible for coming into the world, neither was I responsible for the law of heredity. It was a great deal safer to address a cultivated audience twice a Sunday, and make a few pastoral calls daring the week, than to climb into a man's house at dead of night, and creep into his bedroom and walk off with liis pocket-book und diamond studs. 1 studied theology with the best old man that ever lived, and he considered me a brilliant and hopeful disciple, but I spent three weeks planning to rob Irim--to rob him. artistically, I mean. I conld have done this without suspi cion at any time, for the whole house Was open to me, but the things that I coveted were not valuable to me until they were locked up. This desire was stronger than life and stronger than death, lor I risked death many a time to accomplish it. I could not believe that I had been predestined from the » beginning of things that my career was to be that of a buf-glar, and I knew .that I was not a free agent. You can comprehend my dilemma?" This was plausiblo, though the treat ment of the subject, it was obaerverd, was somewhat new, as well as a trifle tnystical. "Yes," was the calm response. "You have become accustomed to certain terms, certain forms and modes of ex pression. and you don't know how to get outside of them. Most men are like you." "Are you willing to tell me your method of attack--so to speak--or did you enter houses like other " "Burglars. Do not be afraid of the ' word. I think my methods were or iginal, if not unique, though, on I never , liad any dealings with men of my pro fession. I may be arrogating loo much." "You never had a companion, a pal? ; WP never a member of any clique ?" *7 "Never, and my contempt for thieves Was probably as great as your own. I .. iiad no wish for such society, and up to tlu! time 1 wai e.inglit and convicted I : liad as good a name as any other man. ,A house that was easy to enter I al- " ""way* y>as?ed by, for, as I told you. I cared only for the unattainable. My \5i v. tools could all be carried in one pocket. ?' .* When I bad such work in my hand I nlways dressed myself scrupulously. The professional burglar can never be mistaken for a gentleman for he looks jike the tramp he is. My linen was in variably immaculate, my boots were well blacked, and my whole appearance *' | unexceptionable. I should have i'--' blushed to rob a man in old clothes." "And you were never caught but cnce?" , ' Only once, though I had two or : .-ifiiree hair-breadth escapes. One of these was when I attempted to rob a house on the Hudson, said to be as im pregnable as a fortress. It took three f hours of the hardest work I ever did ?S:to effect an entrance, and after I had succeeded in doing so I found, to my ureat chagrin, that I did not feel at ', Jiome." T "Feel at home? That is. funnier ' f than all the rest" "A great psychological truth under lies that feeling, sir. If I could not . bold my head up in a man's dini^g- "irootn or library, and feel in a large and ^comfortable sense like the proprietor, .v :>|I was in danger. In the house I hare ' • -mentioned I was indeed a cat in a t6^nve«tigat«, l bad not goaeiar whan a door softly opened, and a woman met me topoto the threshold." "But yon were not atraid of a wo man?" "I was never very mueh afraid of a man. This woman was ascalm as the summer night, or rather the summer morning.for then it was nearly 3 o'clock. 'What do you want?' she as %ed coolly. I glanced into the room and saw that she was alone. 'What do you think I want ?' I replied. 'It you did not look so much like a gentleman,' she an swered, 'I should, of course, think that you had come to rob us.' 'Thank you for the compliment,'said I; 'but where is your husband?' 'He is in Toronto,' she responded. 'Perhaps you bring bad news of him?' 'Oh, no, madam,' I answered, reassuringly; 'but it cannot be possible that your husband leaves you alone in this great house?' 'By no means; my servants are all within call,'was the suspicious response. 'But will you not be seated ?' she added po litely. This was a poser. Now I never struck, abused or insulted a woman in my life, and the most disheartening feature of my self-imposed employment was that I was sometimes compelled to frighten these tender and susceptible creatures. I took a seat near the door, so that my companion could not pos sible give the alarm, and she sat down on the other side of a large center table, and as she did I distinctly heard the fclick of a pistol. She had cocked the pistol and was ready for me. "This incident happened at the height of the Beecher trial in Brook lyn. That woman was game and I knew she would never let me leave those premises without a spunky at tempt for my apprehension. Most of my surprises have come from women, but I was never so utterly dumfounded as when this one calmly asked me for the latest news in the Beecher trial. I have tried to show you tbat only a small part of my nature, was really burglarious, and that in all other re spects I was a gentleman. When I found that this woman was alone, I would no more have placed a hand on any of her possessions than I would have cut my own throat There were two reasons for this. The first 1 hope was my innate respect for women in general, and my great admiration for this woman in particular, and the next was because of the predominant trait of character which made everything valueless which was not obtained by the hardest work. I could have taken this woman's little toy away from her, and locked her into her room with the greatest ease, and I would not have hurt a hair of her head; but such a tnssel would have been unmanly and ridiculous. So I answered her in quiries as politely as I could, and now .comes the part which will doubtless seem incredible to your practical mind. I became so interested in this singular conversation that a whole hour passed without my being aware of it. "My hostess"--a curious smile flitted across the ex-burgiar's serene count e- iiaucti as he uttered tlu# word--"was talented, refined, well informed. She regarded the matter from the stand point which was always most fascinat ing to me--that of philosophy and pre cedent. She was analytical, and I dis covered in the course of the conversa tion that she was a close psychometric student I forgot my inglorious inten tions entirely, and was only recalled to the object of my visit when my com panion, with the dash of a gazelle run ning away from a rifle, threw up the window and screamed at the top of her voice. I heard the rumbling of a wagon, and the shouts of. men, and had only time enough to escape by the back door into the woods. I take off my hat to that worn an ̂ metaphorically--a dozen times a day. "I told you the narrative would seem incredible, but notwithstanding my past career, which probably appears to you allied to every other weakness and wicknesa, I am not, and never was, a liar. "One other experience I will recount before I make the application of the sermon you are to preach for me. I had resolved to rob the house of one of our millionaires. This had been at tempted several times by others, and their failure was, as usual, an inspira tion to me. So I dressed meself in my best clothes, took my little tools, and started one dark' night about 12 o'clock. It was nearly 2 before I got in, and here, as in the other house I have told you about, I did not feel at home. I was an alien and a stranger. The sound of my own footsteps made my heart beat audibly. Bat I was a fool again, and did not fly as I should have done. I had lighted the gas iu the dining-room, and was about to re- conn oiter when I heard a quick step, and in an instant a man was upon me. I had time to seize aiv hat,which I had dropped upon the table, strike a digni fied attitude, and await developments 'Well,' said the man rather sharply, 'what do you want?' I turned, and this time met an old clmm of mine whom I had not seen lor fifteen years. 'Why,' he exclaimed, calling me by name and extending his hand cordially, 'what in the world brings you here at this time of night? I am delighted to see you.' I responded in perfect good faith, 'and I don't wonder you say this time of night. But I have been here since, 11. waiting for Mr. ,' calling the millionaire by name. 'And he is not in yet,' my companion replied. 'Come into the library and have a glass of wine with me. He will have to be here very soon now, you see,' he added, as I followed his lead, with my heart in my mouth. 'I got interested in a book, and forgot. al>out the time. I am thankful that I did, and now how are you, old boy?' There.are some mo ments in a man's life which no words can ever describe! I mado up my mind if I got out of this house with my real character unsuspected, that I would kill myself as soon as I reached home. "My old friend's delight at seeing me distressed me, and lor a few moments I forgot the danger of my position and everything else save my own unwortlii- ness to grasp a good man's hand. He told me that he was a tutor in the mill ionaire's family, and was perfectly4iap- py in his vocation. He offered me wine and I drank it He gave me a cigar, and I lit it and did my best to keep it glowing, but the fire went out repeatedly. Once I had a wild thought of telling him the nature of my errand to this house and throwing myself upon his mercy and generosity, but I could not do it. To watch this man's face as I sank lower and lower in his estimation was a process I conld not bear. No, 1 must get out of it some other way. My companion listened oc casionally as the sound of wheels was heard, showing that his employer was expected in a carriage. I listened for wheels also, and if you are possessd of imagination you can form some idea of my state of mincl. ft mta. raaa and WMt to the " 'Mr.------has oometC iM&'fe* aaWL "My companion's back tented* for » moment and I took a quick ad vantage of this fact and hurried out of the room. Once out of his presence fear and shame lent me Win presenc J* and readied the back window "through which I had entered to hear the voice of the imlHonaira wlmyn J 5md intended to victimize close beside me. " 'You had better give Kate soma water,' he told his coachman; and as he spoke I could have reached out my hand and touched his sleeve. But I kept in the shadow and as soon as the coast was clear I took myself out of the way. "And you did not kill yourself?" "No. Once safe, the old love of life returned and the keenness of my shame soon became blunted. If it were not for this dulling process, this world would consists of graves and lunatic asylums only." "And you were at last caught and sentenced. You did not serve your whole time, I believe." "Scardely half. Good behavior and paralysis opened the prison dobrs for me. I was caught in the act of rob bing a safe in a bank. It was my first and last attempt at a bank robbery. I never stepped upon so homelike a scene aa this was. The atmosphere of the place was entirely new io me. I had never had a bank book, never been a president, or a defaulting cashier, and I tried to convince myself that this was the cause of the strangeness. But it was the old warning, and it served me right that I did not recognize it A night watchman and a policeman swooped down upon me, and the result,' as you know, was a sentence for ten years' hard labor in states prison. I came out in lesB than five, a white- haired, decrepit man; old before my time, with nothing pleasant in the past to look back upon, and no chance of contentment or usefulness in the future." "If you were in good health, what do yon think would be the chances of your old occupation ?" "I often ask that question of myself, but I have never ahswered it The old Adam might be strong within me if I wers as well as formerly. It does not seem so, however; though with toy ex perience to refer to, it would be very illogical for me to predicate anything of a healthy condition from a diseased one. I feel at times perfectly con vinced that toy shame and remorse are genuine emotions, and the old longing for--" X "For the unattainable--" "Thank you-ffor the unattainable is dead. I have found out that there is a moral as well as a physical scrofula, and if a single precedent bad been established whereby I conld have made known my sickness to seme soul physi cian wise chough to deal with it I might have been cured When a man afflicted with moral scrofula can con sult a physician for that disease with as much freedom and as little shame as a man suffering from blood scrofula, then and not till then will the ranks of evil be thined. The rule of heredity obtained in my case and I know the source of my taint But to speak of it was to confess myself defiled, and be yond the pale of human sympathy and respect The time must come wa6n a moral disease will be no more of a dis grace than physical sickness. Both.are entailed and science should bestir her self. "I haven't perhaps, given yon much that is sensational, but you are quite welcome to it, and I wish you would use your influence and your pen--if it has a good point--in behalf of those who are morally aick. Come again." There was food for thought in this strange sermon, and as it was received it ia given again. * The public diotid note' the fact that the only proprietary---rtinine en eaith that ew receivedthe npMtvici Of Gold Medal Jacobs OH. After the most thorough and practical tests, in hospitals and elsewhere, it has universally triumphed over all com petitors, and been proclaimed by Judges and Jurors, including eminent physicians, to be the best pain-curing remedy in esist- SBCO. about, Childlike and Bland. Eddie Eugene--Pa, do Von love me as much as Mr. Jones IOTOB his little boy? Pa--Certainly, I do. Eddie Eugene--Well, he bought life little boy a horse.--The Judge. Why They Wear Long Hair. A cowboy gives three reasons why they wear their heir long--it is hard to get it cut on the plains, it keeps their ears warm in the winter, and it makes the Indians think they are brave;; - ' When In the Wrong Channel The bile wreaks grievous injury. constipation, patn in the liver and stomach. Jaundice, nausea ensue. A few doses of Hostet- ter's Stomach Bitters will reform these evils and prevent further injury. It is a pleasant aperi ent, its action upon the bowels being unaccom panied by griping. The liver is both regulated and stimulated by it, and as it Is very Impolitic to disregard disorder of that or«ran, which through neglect may culminate in dangerous congestion and hepatic abscess, the Bitters should be resorted to at an early stage. Failure to do this renders a contest with the malady more protracted. Fever and ague, rheumatism, kidney and bladder troubles, are remedied by this line medicine, and the increasing infirmi ties of a are mitigated by it. It may be also used In convalescence with advantage, as it hastens the restoration of vigor. That's What Made Him Mad. Ephraim Peabody told this anecdote with great relish: He was at a Swiss railroad station, when a small-sized, choleric, half-pay British officer with one leg was hop ping round and swearing vigorously at nis courier for some neglect of duty. The man explained the matter coolly and respectfully, but the officer seemed to be in a greater rage than ever, and attracted unusual attention. At last his wife, a quiet j^rson, said to him in a low tone: "My dear, don't you think you may be wrong yourself?" 'I know I'm wrong." he shrieked, with an oath, "and that's what makes me so mad." The Inventor of Lneifer Matches*' According to a German paper, the inventor of lucifer matches was a polit ical prisoner, who perfected his idea in 1833, within the walls of a state prison. Kammerer was a native of Ludwigs- burg, and when sentenced to six months' imprisonment at Hohenasburg, he was fortunate enough to attract the notice and to gain the favor of an old officer in charge of the prison, who, finding he was studying chemistry, al lowed him to arrange a small labora tory in his cell. Kammerer had been engaged in researches with a view of improving the defective steeping sys tem, according to which splinters of wood, with sulphur at the ends, were dipped into a chemical fluid in order to produce a flame. If the fluid was fresh the result was satisfactory, but as it lost its virtues after a time, there was no general disposition to discontinue the old-fashioned system of using flint and steel. After many failures Kam merer began to experiment with phos phorus, and had almost completed his term of imprisonment when he discov ered the right mixture, and kindled a match by rubbing it against the walls of his cell. On cuining out of prison^ he commenced the manufacture of matches. Unfortunately, the absence of a patent law prevented his rights ftom being secured, and on Austrian and other chemists analyzing the com position, imitations speedily made their appearance. In 1835 the German states prohibited the u>e of the matches, con sidering them dangerotif. When they were made in England and sent to the continent these regulations were with drawn, but too late to be of any benefit to the inventor, who died in the mad house of his native town, in lt&7. The Two (iihrsHarfc I do hot think it is generally known that there are two Gibraltars in An la- lusia. . One is the solid and substantial rock-built fortress which owns Queen Victoria as its sovereign; the other is a fantom cry, of which Alfonso XII. is lord. Alter the capture of Gibraltar by the Bri ish in 1734 the inhabitants dispersed throughout the neighbor hood, finding refuge for the most part in the Villages of Los Barrios and San lioyne and amidst the ruins of the an cient City of Algeeiras. It was some years, however, belore the officers and gentlemen of the City of Gibraltar took steps to assert their existence as a cor porate body, which still retained vitali ty after the capture of their city. They accordingly met in solomn conclave under the Piesidency of their Cor- regidor, Don Bernardo Diaz de Isla, and declared the complete re-establish- ment of the Cabildo or Council of the City of Gibraltar, appointing San lioyne for the time being as the locali ty in which the iribunal should meet. Since that time, in the degfees of the King of Spain and in other official documents, the three towns are not named separately, but are styled "Our p most loval and noble City of Gibraltar j in the -Campo of Gibraltar, the City o! ' Gibraltar being in the temporary o? the British."--Notes j cupation of the British."--Notes ami At last the clatter of horses' hoofs Queries. Yoctio men or middle-aged ones, suffering from nervous debility and kindred weak nesses, should send three letter stamps for illustrated book suggesting sure means of cure. Address World's Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. the skin to iazaHike, ' Such are morbid bile, the only flittdots which Is todieanaeand regulate the liyer--an office admirably performed by Or. Pierce's " Golden Medical Discovery." • Bcaora Is always governed by the pow wow behind the throne, IT'P a© SSCRE* that D.». HiiMlfloBposad Extract of Smsrt-W©©d feeemptsed of besfe genuine French Brandy, distilled Extract of Smart-Weed, and Jamaica Ginger Hoot, with Camphor Essence, and constitutes, there fore, the best remedy yet known for colic 'or cramps, cholera morbus, diarrhoea, dysen tery, or btoody-liui, or to break up oolda, fevervand inflammatory attacks. SO cents. By drhg^iits. IT harts nothing to drop a conversation that Is out of place. km You INtwuragMlf Has your physician failed to arrest thedis- caso from which you nre sulTcrlng? Are you losing, faith, iu iitedieinus, and growing alarmed at J*our condition? Then give Com pound Oxygen a trial. Write to Drs. Starkey & Palen, U0> Girard St.. l'hlla.. for their treatise on Compound Oi-yeen. Sent free. The Combination or Ingredient* used In making BROWN'S BRONCHTAI, IBOCRBS is such as to givo the best possible effect with safety. They are the best remedy in use for Coughs, Colds, and Throat Dis eases. . THE last place in the word for a man to economize is iu buying aCough Medicine, yet there are many who will go to their drugjrist and, instead of asking for Allen's Lung Bal sam, the best Cough Syrup he has In his store, they will take anything at all (if it is only cheap) that may be offered. These same peop'e would exercise more care n nd thought while buying bread and cheese for their fam- ili?s, where different qualities were to be had, and would always take the best. Oupht they not, where life and death Is at stake, exer cise at least as much care? I have had catarrh in head and nostrils for ten years so bad that there were great sores in my nose, and one place was eaten through. I got Ely's Cream Balm. Two bottles did the work, but am still using it. My nose and head are well. I feel like another man.--Chas. 8. McMillen, Sibley, Jackson Co., Mo. THEBS was a young lady quite fair, Who had much trouble with her tuiir,; So she bought Carboline And a sight to be seen -• Is the head of this maiden, I declare." From €"ol. C. 11. Mackejr, 82d Iowa Infantry: 1 have now been using Ely's Cream Rulm for three months and am ex periencing no trouble from Catarrh what ever. I have been a sufferer for twenty ' iwwfcgft H. Mackey, l|Mnv, lows. Ho Who SMomwa Money tor AnotherU A nuow feeling blind. makes us weadrous Important. When you visit or leave New York Oty, save Baggage Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot: 600 elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduced to $1 and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Bestaurant supplied with the best. Horse oaba, stage, and elevated railroad te sll depots. Fami lies can ItTe better for 1«M money at the Grand Union than at any flrst-elass hotel in the city. MOKMOKS hold wive-all. faith in a religions te> HorstortA's Add Phosphate, IN DRBII.ITV. Dr. W. H. Holcombe. New Orleans, La., says: "I found it an admirable remedy for debilitated state of the system, produced by the wear and tear of the nervous energies." A BASE deceiver is fit for nothing hut pay ing ball. . THE secret of the large and constant sales of Mrs.Pinkham's Vegetable Compound probably lies in the tact that wboreas.theie are many •"Hitters" and "Tonics" Of'eqnal value, be it more or less, the Vegetable Compound is so completely superior to all other preparation specially recommended for the needs of wom en that It has practically no rivals. A CONNECTICUT man lias invented a paper carpet. Of course it will be read. Low Bates to Inauguration Cettwenies at Washington. I Mr. E. A. Ford, General Passenger Agent of the Pennsylvania lines, west of Pittsburg, announces the following low first-class rates for tickets over tho Penn sylvania lines to Washington and return, ou the occasion of President Cleveland's inauguration, Mnrch 4th, next. The original rates proposed by Mr. Ford for this purpose were considerably less than these, but because of a determination on the part of his competitors that higher rates should prevail, the figures named below were finally adopted as a compromise: From Chicago to Washington and return, $20. Solid trains of coaches add Pullman sleeping care will be run to Washington over the Pennsylvania lines from their vnrious tcrniiui in the West, and Mr. Ford assures us that the standard of excellence in all that pertains to the transportation and care of their patrons, for which these lines are already famous, shall be fully main tained on this occasion. For particulars, address C. W. Adams, Assistant General Passenger Agent, No. 65 Clark street, Chicago, 111. Pain and Dread attend the use of most Catarrh remedies. Liquids and snuffs are unpleasant as well as dangerous. Ely's Cream iiaim i* safe, pleasant, easily applied with the tlnger, and a eura cure. It cleanses the nasal passages an 1 heals the inflamed membrane, giving relief from the first appli cation. AO cents at druggists. Me. foy nutfl. Ely Bros., Owego, N. Y. A Hungry Artist. Luis de Morales was born in 1509, and was the tirst Spanish painter Who acquired a reputation outside of his own country. His subjects were all re ligious, and he was called "El Divino," or "the divine," on this account. When Morales was fifty-five jears old, Philip II. invited hint to court. When he appeared before the King, ho wore so magnificent a costume that Philip was angry, and ordered a sun jpf money to l>e paid the artist, and a dismissal sent him at the same time. %o mortified was Morales that be for sook his art and fell into great poverty. In 1581, Philip visited Badajoz and saw Morales in a very different dress from that which he had worn at court. "Morales, you are very old," said the King. "Yes, sire, and very poor," replied the painter. Pliilfp then commanded that two liundt ed ducats of the crown rents of Badajoz should be given eacli year to the painter to supply him with dinners. Hearing this, Morales exclaimed: "And for snpoer, sire?" ,This aptness so pleased the King that he added one hundred ducats to the pension, and these sums gave Morales comfort for the rest 6f his days. The street in Badajoz in which he lived still bears his name.--Si. Nich olas. , PEOPLE who never could see any sense in spelling "fushia" as they pronounce it, ' f-u-c-h-s-i-a," will perhaps be en lightened as to both tho spoiling and the pronunciation of the word when they remember that the flower was named after a man named Fuchs. In the same way they will know how to spell "camellia" if they remember tbat it was named after the Jesuit mission ary, Father Camelli. its first importer. • « w AlMMfcr, Rheumatism, ̂ uridt*, Sciatica, twrtfi. Backache, Wniftii, Teethach*. „ m oraita BODILT FAIRS m urn Mtt>PnilWi»ii<lliil«nfwi»iili«n. PlltrOwMabaUkb Mrtcthmt te 11 iammml TIBCflULEl A. VOOEMC* CO. >»*. veo«LEK*ce.> BaHtMn.M.V.e.A. CFFLUS IM RAIIM. Any Fool can Destroy--Only th* Mail with Valuable Material ' - ' can Save--Reader, take Warning Before it la too Late. The summer of 1880 contributed largely to the recordsdisaster and death. Stupidity, ignor- anoe, a^ti carelessness can take life; any fool can destroy. But the ability to restore, to crush disease, to make life worth having, Is the Joint product of nature and education. For this rea son Dr. David Kennedy, of Rondout, N. Y., has cause to be both proud and thankful that his name is gratefully mentioned by so many whom he has healed or helped. "Kennedy's Favorite Remedy" has become a household word. Every body, sooner or later, gets sick, and sickness is both wearisome and costly. "Favorite Remedy" stepx in at this point. It is not expensive and it is efficient. For all Diseases of the Blood, Bilious Disorders, Kidney Complaint, Constipation, and the aches and ills which make the domestic life of women a cross so hard to bear, "Kennedy's Favorite Remedy" has been successfully used by- thousands. It will build up a system which has been run down by overwork. It is the thing for the student and literary man to have at hand and should be in the home of every mechanic. "Favorite Remedy" is economical, safe, and pleasant. Buy it and try it; or, if you need ad vice as well, writ.- to Dr. Kennedy, who is in active practicc an a surgeon and physictan at Rondout, N. Y. "Dr. Kennedy's Favorite Reme dy" for sa:e by all druggists. PENSIONS »*LBMES,RVEJT"^ COUOHS, COLDS OR HOK to soldiers and bain. Mend stamp for circulars X,. BINGHAM. At tamer, Washington. D. c. . five of charge to h CATAltltH. _ JRE THKOAH, whereby a liermancut euro run be effected with but very little expense, by gendine address to J. M. TAVLOK £ CO.. Manufacturing Chemists, 78 & MO Dearborn Street. Chicago. NEWSDEALERS; * * * t: ami Subscription Aceiits Hhoulil not fail to handle THE CHICAGO LEDGER. It sells on xi(jht. and always Dleasea reader*. For Fun and Fiction it ha-< no Mud in the.Onitod States. For sample, address The Western Mews CoZ Chicago, 111., or THE CHICAGO LEDGER.m. radhin Street. Chicago. 111. MHIAIIVI AXII Ml • • • "Pretty Wives, ' / Lovely daughters, and noble . ̂ faty farm lies ia a rather |ovand matic situation, and "My wife!" "Who?" "Was a very pretty blonde I" Twenty yean ago, "Sallow!" "Hollow-eyed!* ff "Withered and aged!"v Before her time, frorqf . "Malarial vapors, though she msJe no par ticular complaint, not being of the grumpy kind, yet causing me great uneasiness. "A short time ago I purchased your rem edy for one of the children, who had a very severe attack of biliousness, and it occurred to me that the remedy might help my wife, as I found that our little girl upon recovery had "Lost!" " •*' "Her sallowness, abd looked as fresh as a new-blown daisy. Well, the story is soon told. My wife to-day has gained her old- time beauty with compound interest, and is now as handsome a matron (if I do say it myself) as can be found in this county, which is noted for pretty women. And I have only Hop Bitters to thank for it. "The dear creature just looked over my riionldftr and says, 'I can flatter equal to ths days of our courtship,' and that reminds me that there aught be more pretty wives if my brother farmers would do as I have done." Hoping yoa may long be spared to do good I thankfully remain, C. L. JAHXS. Biunvmu, Prince George Co., Md., > f May 26th, 1883. f •SWNone genuine without a bunch of preen Bops on the white label. Shun all the vile, pots- onou" stuff with "Hoo" o* "Hops" in their name. Ifk OUItt OP FEVEKandAGUE Or CHILLS and FEVER, Ait < ttfiU f If£ii is Ths tractatw rf this Militated asdi- atas jaMv slaian for it a sspsrisritr evar all tiHWN Ww agreed to the yuhiis tm ths liW, C0XA1V, nPXKDT iad MAVHYtara af Afaa aai Vsvsr.or Chills aad Itovar, vfcstfcar ofahort ar long staad- ia*. B* rates to ths satire Western aad laathara eeufctry to bear him tsattaeayto the tratfc at tto s--srtias that ia as esse whatever will it fell to sua if the dirsa- tUasanitrisflrMMai aad aarrisd eat. Xa a great ain eases aaiatfa dote haa been salaiwtfiv a eare, aadwhele ftu&i- lies have been stred by a stefla bottls, with a perfeet restoratiea ef the ceasrak health. It is, however, yradeat, sad inevair eaee mere eertaim to aaca, ii itt ass is eeattnaed ia smaller fcrawaekertvoaftarthe dissass has baea ohaskad, mare esyeeislly in difficult aad loaf-staaalaf cases. Usu ally this msdidne will as* reqaire aay aid to keep ths bawals ia good erder. Ikeald the patieat, however, reeaire a eathartis medicine, after haviag tokaa three er fear doses of the Toaie, a magle daas ef BULL'S TEQXTABLX FAKILYTILLS will be raf- teisat. BULL'S SABSAPABXLLA is the eld aad reliable remedy for imparities of the bloat aad Scrofulous affections--the Kiag af Blood Purifiers. DK. J0HJT BULL'S YXGETABLK WOBX SS8TB0YX& is prepared in the form af candy drops, attractive to the sight aad pleasant to the' taste. OR. JOHN BULK'S i SMITH'S TONIC SYRUP, \ BULL'S SARSAPARILLA, BULL'S WORM DESTROYER, Ifca Popular Remedlea of the Day. MtlaiaSt., LOVKTILLE, KY. How much mere responsible is he who hee taf charge the health and life of a human betas.- 1' 'We haws iwaslisred mii tlw 7^^-- <mrjyM_ ,vUflli SOT ^L 'am aa one ef L for all Throat and agepartjaatartonseaothiDg^atthehestt dienta. NO OPIUM In aay form eaten tte pooitioa. It Is to your taterest te J 2 _ old aad tried remedy, AUCKf UIHO ] ^ > SAM. and see that a bottle la almas I " ' " hsnd for immediate sea. KKAD THBrOI 1NQ New I took a violent cold much no that at times BALSAM was I took it. and am now . Tours respectfully. A. J.COLBOM. E»Q..I*MOTO^£». writes: 1 can recommend AXJUDHB an being the best remedy for OoldS • used. AsTOalA,mS. GentlemenI can cheerfully say U NO BALSAM, which I have aotdlSr yearo. sella better than any cough rem general satisfaction. "Da frequently by the medical profession here. Yours truly, H. C. MOO' bottles of ALLEN'S IA'NG BALSAM for abagrettaek. GentlemenAllow me to i of Bronchitia, I am entirely cured. I snii &i vol untarily, that thoae afflicted i " * Yours respectfully. " .iV - be bftteBtaS.' H.DAVIS. PATENTS BUT** FREE. • ffl I EJl I „ R. 8. * A. P. LACK Y, Meat Atfya, Washington. D. C. ^SMMttaaattasaeh (Wftinflfnx. et i J.WOXTK, c A. REED t SONS. PIANOS. New Piano dialogue! There is no Infirmity so oppressive and bur densome to the human mind as that tired feel ing of which so many complain on the ap proach of serious disorders. The depression and despondency of spirit attending th is stato are immeasurable. Thut constant drain tbat is taking from your system nil its former elasticity, driving- tho bloom from your cheeks; that continued strain upon your vital forces, rendering you Irritable and fretful. DON'T FORGET, all of these ailments can be easily rembved and permanently cured, by the use of HOPS: ULT11TTEBS Recommended by physicians, ministers and nurses. 1 prescribe Hepsaai MALT Sit* ters regularly in my practice.--ROBERT TURNER, M. D., Flat Rook, Mioh. If you cannot get amd TIIAE*T Bitters of your druggist we will send It, express paid, on receipt of regular price, SI per bottle. . We prefer that you buy it from your druggist; but If he has aot got it, do not be persuaded to try something else, but order at oaoe from us aa directed, Do not get Hop* aad NAI/f Bitter* con founded with other Inferior preparations ot similar name. Take nothing but Heae amd MALT Hitters. HOPS & MALT BITTERS CO., Detroit. Mich. J. N. HARRIS & CO. (Limited) Propx, CINCINNATI, OHIO. FOR SALE by all MEDICINE PEALBK9L •natssfi k Address VALEnTINE BROS. Ja»--*flle7Wia! .. ̂'S O "lain* B*i "IS •SIAE*** . TC KR KIT IF ALL MITO v ' >:u> jtookln 1 Ulaatrated witl SORTJU JWL " RSUWtha reo«t"ram<m> of aU almrts GOLDEN 8KA1 BITTKBa. Broken down mt know that mn WM. •taaSlas UTttM In InasieacT,that UcctbarwlthaVA I will ua^a^r 100,000 ROYAL Zaoiis ZiOMi at a | rim publishers of ths Chliaas Fad aai Caarler daalre to secure 100,000 sebacribers. I 1. >7,00 more subscribers nocded befart ths Grand IMstrtbatlea takes Bias* April ak MS. I eeats we will mall you our paper* months oa trial, aad immediately aead yoa ytSMM 1 | whlehwlll eatltle flbahoiAer to oae of the following praaeatsT All taesa pt sisals wlllbagtrsa ITIAL LIS I new 100,000 labscrlhers. uvror F: mRRS. f taeMhi aighsd asffftattlas Bsrwt, Bailsr siateii aailsafcsis sasasMta bare. All t|t« aboTe preaents will be partial manner. Presents win be aent to any part of the L'nlted Btatea or Canada . |mr peiaeo aeurttag « SO cents for a 6moiuhs' trial anbacriptlon to our paper Is also privileged to apply for a loaa, u> ba madsoeti ) remain oopaM ai loog as tke kortewer . ... (which *10 >**fceMx bey 1,000 Inches advertising. (3JS0 per line, SIS per Inch, Mlsssea, tSSO.080; total, per and press work, 990,000 copies, St issaea, (300,000; editorial work, office, rei ents, «i),000t total, i3SS,000; leaving a net profit ot *315,000. For this endrn apace the Chleiuro Poat sad Coarlap depends on Its 330.000 subset" In proportion to circulation. With but m.400 circulation the profits wi , Therefore aa subscribers are doing ua a favor when they send as thelrnamea, we desire to return faTorft* tsror. Any subscriber who desires to borrow fromSIOOtotnO at 4 per cent , tba prlactnal to staad if dMll SS. eslonj^as tne^borrower remains a subscriber, should to state when he sends as 80 cents for a t-moatna tm|.. aAHIUTIAMCa'>Loan^ made pro rata, not less than S100 nor more thsntSOO. First year's Interest atiper cesfc IfUHIH I lUHwl to be deducted from smountlosned. Your Individual note la all the security asked, pn*: sided you will send the names of several of your neighbor* to whom we can refer--not as to the amouut of property you are worth bat a* to your good character. Every subscriber most votiUvely agree to show the paper and present u> bis Mends and neighbors. When a loan Is made, the adjoining form of note will bo sent with the money to the subscriber's nearest bank or express office, and no note need bealgned until the money is pnid over. Send the name* of several reference*, and Immediate Inquiry will be made. If no loan is desired, no references need be scut. 900 60LD WATCHES FREE! WHO WILL sunt THS QCICKXaT f presents, we decided to re4ervc S#.000 _nt (00 subscribers received. If you to one rtetipt good for on* prftur, an d your letterls among the first (00 received you will also be entitled to •[beautiful gold watch. Tbe_ watch Is one third larjert hsntbaplc t u re lust - -* with Intaraat at < par etat. wrjnrta JM inaodad or bacoBMTtfayaWe (ekecat at s»y PISSMOIW), aalongasl remain »paid-upsab- •criber to theabSre namad paper. We will sen3 a printed list of the awards, free. anTall presents will be forwarded to holders of receipts as they may direct. Aliu ef watch winners will be published In our paper. The 90 eeata you send as I* the regular . j will ilbodfor 2 Send SI and the r price for t months, tharefoi* L Subscribe at once. Don t you pay nothing tortus present wait a day. W* will send you tl bend receipt* cbod for 2 present*. ana the paper will be mat ;ood for S presents. Get 5 . SO, aad we will send the paper < m - bered receipt for each of your subscribers and 1 extra for you thepatierSmooth*andjnum preaent*. If ad the paper will be eelpta good for S presents. G aend S£S(X aad we w!U aend the ..yoa send ns IScents. [led you 1 year and Get 5 friends to loin you. and r < months and 1 nnm- _ _ _ icrlbera and 1 exti your trouble. Positively no farther postponement. 10 subscribers, with ts. and we will send you 13 sub tions and IS receipts. This offer is good only ui April aStiaaa. We have 213,000 subscriber* already, J • only require 87,000 more to have the desired number. I old patron* and subscribers, whom we number by \iand*. should go to work at once and help us inci our list by thu grand and generona offer. AMI V Bfl f*CMTC Secures our paper 6 months on IIBLT OU llCRIe trial and one receipt good for lone present. Aa to oar rellssblllty, we refer t* I nsy Baak or Mereasitlle Agasey. Remember I these are present* to our subscribers, girrn to them abeo- llutelyfree. This la a chance of a Ufetlme. Ue Irut pat*. tea* to your future fitrtutu. Kvery subscriber get* a price, i fortun* mar be your* if you wUl but itrtfcA for'* your hand to receive it. it costs only SO cents to try ] --Uitpouikie you willUt Poatag* st snips taken I from plsces where a Postsl Note can not be obtained. Remit by Postal Kote, plain envelope or ( I Address Chicago Port aad Courier, Merrlsea aid'g, Csr. Clark St. aad Calheaa Flaea, R. U. AWARE THAT Larillvd'a Climax Ping bearlngared tin tag; that Lorlllaid's Roeefjenf fine out; that Lorlllard's NawyCllMlugs^d that^Lorlllaid'sJSaaflfc. am the beat and cheapest, quality considered ' ICJUTS Magnolia Balm is a secret aid to beauty. Many a lady owes her fresh* ness to it, who would rather not tell, and you can't tell. « 0NUI£*I&HF«2 C.K.tJ. WHKS W KITING TO AD v" pletue say yoa saw tho a I* thia paper. •.4/;-^ -.0 Man and Beast ' Mustang Liniment it odder thaa most men, and nacd move IK) more every year. 54«r<f f ;iA i ' -i.w i.r a r,i & ^ • «, < 1 •'K#, f ' " •' ' • •• ^ * r""