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fSLYKX.! IPiMMMr. * ILLINOIS ROCOCO. *r: •:^IWpFf|RS^ Win. I»n|pr; -- >rT,untntra, liiBMi psi-fe u.... ... uivi •• »MM (ukd Bo mow after, remnCM with years. .JKBRRSSF'Mi w i^lqcsqf ploMure_ -• ^ ISSWtnta* rrt»P«» of P*Hb * ? 1 ftfliiFSlMflft tieeeWell in sunder, JfPvJvJ ItHe mud godi do 1 ^With *(,1 wonder, > for love of you? FWt-i Bin till November. Mmi Bern's April 7«tr it IhftC 1 vemeMher, r!c , j Ittroam that I forget. » ^ ̂ _ ^ and oar tired love sleeplqfe (Wheed «way his breath; at would We do weeptnf; fc Hrht love sleep to death? ... ) drained hts lips at le Mrt, 11 ther 'i not left to drain itagto mt> of ploanre, L KSgle throb of pain. i that the lfpc oaoe III iiallil--> luicksn a they would; : forget. We bare board from hidden pl«MO *TIBU lore scaroellve* n(1nM; rim-ham aeow an fervent faces Jtor ofatranae tear*; wrjiw trod the wiae-vat'a traaaare. Whence, ripe to steam and stata, J^marourntl the feet of pleaeqm m , must of pain. ?A • *» £» ' recover, to time rt<* ; lover, , - ,:ti* _ hertpKof my Jtest rhyme; '***?• Bat tasSfoaviis of December The froitatit June shall fret, SMteAhil jw nmtaber, 71M oar that I forjret. ' Vkaaaafce that hides and hisses ̂ • " la heaven, we twain have taMM ' Tbeg*fc?f of cruel kisses, * VkB Jay wiioee mouth makes laoan; ltewlst'8 pause and meaaure. Wherein OH furtive vein IkntM through the heart of ptoaaare The pdrpTer blood of pain. Wis have done with tears and 1 ; And love for treason's sake; •Boss for the swift new somas, ~ »that hum sail toiaV*1': a g t b a a d d t n n e m b o r • . . ? » n i l t'sOaya and dreams, Juliette: ^FTFSWSARASS^ FJ-J ' » • -4^W-' to traadi down love la flying, Imwthera Mas at root; 1 ' pfe/v I shetf aof rained fruit. . crushed by three days' pressure, Our three days* lore lies slain}- - i earlier leaf of pleasure, Bd latter r ' ' flower of pain. 14 'I •raathfeeluse upon the ashes. It mif beflfiao will lew;. tTncloee tbe aoft clone laahea, _ Uft up the! ds ana we~p. r: iMt lovtf# extinguiahM emboli fcMt one tear leave it wet, o that you remember, ten that you forgot. AH OLB WOMAI'S STORY. US It ia An old tale, the experience of age strivingin vain to temper the en- thagfoam of youtlk I am • mother iWtftitd a sedate matron may well sigh to remember how she loved to think her old friends splenetic through infirmity, dearly as she loved them, vather than abate one atom of the fairy visions which danced around her. , And when tiie arch enchanter Love, waved his hand and bathed earth and na and aky in hoes of purple and gold, how cruel seemed the hand, though atretched in tenderest watchfuUness, that would fain have brought her bade to the soher hoes of reality. In the'lh'ttl&anee of youth, of beauty, we forg^thtfct our kind moitor has felt as we feel thesame fond trust,the same ecstatic hope, and can say, "I, too, shepherd, in Arcadia dwelt." I have never known the blessed care of a mother, but her venerable parent was permitted to watch over our or­ phaned childhood. I can now under­ stand her earnest and prayerful anxie­ ty, as we grew up to womanhood, and the time for our settling in life drew near. I can feel with her now, though in my inexperienae I could not then, for I, too, have fair girls to .guard, whose happiness here and hereafter is en­ twined with my very heartstrings. I remember the day on whioh my father told your' grandmother of my engagement to your father. I was then, my Margaret, young and light 'hearted as yourself, and dear grand­ mother laid ner withered hand, on the curls which clustered in golden luxu- riencet and tears dropped slowly down her vonrirabge cheeks. "2)9 sot grieve,dear grandma; I shall not leave you for a long time yet, and," I added, pressing her hand in both mine," *1 shall see you very often." HOPS my own tears began to flow, for in the engrossment of my new feelings, I had scarcely dwelt on the severing of old ties, which my new engagement would involve. "It is not selfish grief that thus af­ fects me, "said my beloved montitor. "I would not cloud your young Hnirits^ nor dim the hopes which are said' to bless the morning of life and fit us for the burden and heat of the day, but you, my Grace, remind me of my cherished daughter Agnes, whese early death you have often heard me lament I will now tell you something of her life, and if it makes you rejoice with trembling amid your present happiness, that hap­ piness will be more likely to endure. From her infancy I had watched over Agnes with a more fearful tenderness than any other of my children. Here was character strangely made up of quick and joyous impulse and deep, un­ suspected feeling. She seemed alto­ gether without that cowardice so often Attributed to woman as a reproach, out whioh, in a world of dangers, often . serves her as well as the cautiousness pj wisdom. Meanness and cunning she scorned, and the petty artifice, so common in both sexes,was never found m h«fcf Her spirit* were high and un­ tamable--sometimes to wildness; but ^ "ohhtdly or harshly rebuked, none so subdued. Can you wonder,then, that I watched over her as if she were WNlM precious vessel sent out on a sea full pf r^cka, quicksands, and wlurl- used often to pray that, be life what it may be, she riWer feel the balm of loving and kind words." I what was her lot in life, dear •mrna, and was she happy? me all about her. Was she fiilWiJ'.'irpaiinn if hlf tMttpar, too, do not sufite; and my, toes' tender yet high spirit I knew, ill-fitted for such trials. Arthur Wl^i an intelligent young man, of high efcufceter and most honorable in alt nil Healings. It was however, his misfortune to have for a mother a weak and irritable woman, whom prosperity had not improved. Bbe was surrounded with blessings, but \vas constantly corujdsiuuiK« And • €hiuvs»Viufi itliii iittti oit* I luiuu, uoi a waicuiui aeii-tieiiiai im­ proved her heart, she was likely to im­ press upon her son's mind a very low opinion of all women. I, my dear Grace,was honored by my husband with his entire confidence, and I tried to re­ turn Ms trust by being indeed a help­ mate for him. If a woman does not know the state of her husband's affairs, ihe is defrauded of what is justly her due--the privileao of advising with him and of uniting with him in his ef­ forts to do justly to all ni6h. About a year after Agnes' marriage the orisis Occurred in the commercial world which laid many lofty houses low. I ofter surprised Agnes in tears, but she said nothing to me; and I have always Blade it a principle not to inquire into family secrets. I have seen BO much •vil from the well-meaning, but ill- judged reluctance which many a mother feels to give up to her daugh­ ter's husband, in gcod faith and sincer­ ity. the secrets ot that daughter's heart But one day my Agnes came to my house and rushed tip stairs to my bed­ room. I followed her and secured the door; and I was then grieved to hear her sobbing bitterly and in an agony of sorrow." "Can I give you any comfofl or ad­ vice. my darling? Confide in your mother, and perhaps I may be able to oonsole you." , "Oh! my husband, my husband! He has used me cruelly; he has not been open"with me; he might have told me the state of his affairs. I am not a child. I could bear poverty! I could live anywhere and labor for him, as many are obliged to do; but this cruel zwerte--oh, it will kill me!" * 'Agnes, my child,' I answered, 'now's jour tone ior trial. You know where to look for strength; and, oh, beware of a rebellious spirit! Strive to be patient and tell me all you fear.' " 'Our head clerk has just been to our house, mamma, and he tells me that his master has gone to London, and his return is uncertain; and ho has loft a ^request to me that I will come and stay with you until has affairs are arranged one way or the other. I am *o hurt by his allowing me to learn all this from a stranger than shocked at his ruin; for we are both young, and may hope for better times. But oh, mother, there are many things which I might have done without, and now the people will suspect me of hav­ ing known our circumstances all along, and I shall have the disgrace of being suspected of dishonesty.' " 'Alas! Agnes,' I said, 'yours is a common case. To a woman of integrity it is indeed a sare trial to be thought capable of wronging any tradesman; but do not injure your health by this vio­ lent grief. You are, whatever hap­ pens, our dearly beloved daughter; and now, for Grace's sake and fo£ your father's and mine, try to compose your­ self.' "I knew that this appeal to her fami­ ly affections would have a strong effect on her generous nature; for Agnes, in becoming a wife, had not ceased to be a dutiful daughter, and her love for her sister, your dear mother, my Grace, was beautiful to behold. "She was delicate even then, and re­ quired the tenderest care--too gentle and unselfish for this world. She was even then more like a heavenly than an earthly being. "When she saw Agnes come down with the marks of tears on her cheeks, she strove by every tender attention to sooth and cheer her; and I sighed to see her gentle offices lavished in vain. "Our dear Agnes was wounded to the quick by her husband's want of confidence, and we could not cheer her. "In a short time, however, Arthur's affairs were wound up--all claims were satisfied, and he resumed his business with a good prospect of success; but he had lost one possession more valuable than gold--the confidence of wife was forever gone. "There was a restlessness and anxie­ ty about Agnes which never left her. She refused ever again to take the most trifling thing on credit, and once, when he jestingly alluded to her pru­ dence, as he termed it, she replied: 'I have been treated like a child, Arthur, and you must remember a burnt' child dreads the fire. If I am not to be trusted, I wiU avoid being duped.' "She died at the age of six-and-twen- ty, after a short illness, but I shall al­ ways think her indignation and anguish of mind had paved the way for her ear­ ly death." . My grandmother ceased, and seemed lost in thought; then she added, "You, too, Grace, are about to marry a mer­ chant, and I have told you this sad story in order to impress upon your mind that romantic feeling of first love is not sufficient to happiness in the married life. There must be mutual confidence, or the yoke will press heavily indeed on the helpless woman. Before you marry, make it a condition that no deception of any kind or de­ gree is to be permitted between you. Unless a man confides in his wife he does both her and himself irreparable wrong." I took my dear grandmother's advice, and as far as this varied scene admits of happiness, happiness has been m<n* A 81 - t v.r.' ; . Why • Chicago1 ---A GTNIL I am a muj WuClotwl was not BO fair as her sister Graoe," continued grandmamma, "but there was # variety in the play of her ipotoos and a playfulness of manner nade her generally admired. At > of 16 hear hand was asked in > by a young merchant, Arthur and before I was aware of r hor heart was his. I say > she was too young to the cares of married life, nnoertainties of trade press fho wife of a merchant, from the variations of i. Oriffla of Carriages. The oldest carriages, used by the ladies of England, were called whirli- cotes. These became unfashionable after Ann, the daughter of Charles IT. and queen of Richard II, about the end of the fourteenth century, showed the ladies how gracefully they could ride on a side saddle. Coaches were first known in England in the year 1530. They were introduced from Germany by the Earl of Arundel. They came into general use among the nobility in the year 1605. The celebrated Duke of Buckingham was the first who rode in a coach and six horses; to ridicule this pomp, the Earl of Northumberland put eight horses, to his carriage. Coaches let to hire - were first estab­ lished in London in 1625. There were only twenty of them kept at the prin­ cipal inns. In the year 1637 there were fifty hackney coaches; in 1654 there were two hundred; in 1694 they were limited to seven hundred; and in 1755 to eight hundred; there are now eleven hundred. THE Port of eutry for Puget Sound ranks fourth in point of tonnage in the Union, being only surpassed by New York, Boston, and San Francisco, and it is predicted that San Francisco will soon be passed in the race. : -- » SKIN grafting has been proposed as ik means ofprocurring a new crop of hair gambler; butjMi»£luwil£ilIcftfbm' me, for the m\kr4efwhfl „<* fctentioQhl. Ten years ago l owned tho large^ and most popular garnhmg #m<m -im the city of Chioago, and on Saturday nights I dealt my own faro game, in whioh nt T r/ft r \ grew out of my business, but I always excused it on the ground that men did not have to play my games any more than they were oblifced to drink T*>Wn. I finally got to noticing and expecting one young man in puficuler, who al­ ways cane when it was my night to dodl At first he played bolcfy, ana, as a con­ sequence, lost heavily; but as be grew more familiar with the game he played carefully, and noted as though life de­ pended on hrs winning, which in fact was the case, as it afterward proved, got acquainted with him, addressed him as Brown, but knowing that that was not his true name. I think he followed the game for months, winning a little sometimes, but generally losing heavily. At last he came one night, and I saw by his flushed face thtt he had been drinking, although he was apparently cool. He sat down to the talue, drew out a small roll of money, and, laying ifrdowa be:ore him, said: There is in that little pile my fortune, my honor, and my life I either win all or lose all this night Begin your game; I am ready.' Others joined in at first and played for awhile, but finally withdrew from the game and watched the strange young man at my right. He played to win, but fate was against him, for he lost, won, And lost again, and, finally, after two hours of playing, evidently in the most fearful suspense, he lost his last dollar. Leaning back in his chair, with compressed lips and face blanched to a deathly whiteness, he looked me in the eye a moment axid raising said: 'My money, honor, and happiness have gone over that table never to return. I said my life would go with them and it shall. Tell my wife I had gone too far to return.' Before we could prevent it he put a Derringer to his breast and shot himself through the heart, falling upon the table that had been his ruin and death. "His wife came, awful in the majesty of her grief, and, after satisfying her­ self that her husband was dead, she asked, 'Where is the keeper of this dreadful place?* I was pointed out, and, striding up to me, so that her fin­ ger almost touched my pallid face, she exclaimed, in tones that are ringing in my ears yet: 'Oh! you soulless wretch, with heart of stone! You have lured my husband from me, sent him to per­ dition, widowed me, ond orphaned my children. You are his murderer, and may God's curse rest upon you eter­ nally.' And with a wild scream, 'Oh! my husband! my children!' she fell fainting on the body of the corpse. "I lingered for weeks in a brain fever, that curse seeming almost to be the burden of my mind. On my recovery I burned the fixtures of my den and closed the place, and have devoted most of my time to travel, with the hope of escaping that woman's just curse, but I can't. I believe it is on me forever, and I feel that I was that man's mur­ derer. Iam rich, and my first attempt was to get the dead man's wife to ac­ cept an annuity from me, but she re­ fused all aid and tried to support her­ self by her own labor. I relieved my mind to some extent, however, by set­ tling a certain sum on he'r' and her children, which passes through her father's hands ana ostensibly comes di­ rect from him. Her children are re­ ceiving a fine education by this means, and my will, safely locked in her father's office, bequeaths to her and her children my entire wealth, some $100,000. My life," concluded he "is devoted to visiting gambling dens, wherd I meet young men on the high­ way to hell, and warn them of their danger. Thanks be to God, I have succeeded in many cases in saving them, and now, young men, remenber this story, and let it always stand up as a white specter between you and the gambling table. See to it that the poison does not enter your veins," and he pulled his hat over his moistened eyes and strode Bilently away.--San Francisco Alia California. Tbe Mezzotint Proeosg. The principle on which the process of mezzotint is founded, and the pro­ cess itself, may be thus described: A plate of bright copper or steel is "rocked" backward and forward and in all directions by a tool having a sharp serrated edge until its whole surface is indented and torn up. A sort of warp- and-woof pattern is thus produced upon it, while a pile like that of velvet is thrown up and evenly distributed over its whole surface. This pile, if chavged with printers' ink, would print black; the pile removed by a "scraper" and the warp-and-woof pattern laid bare, the plate would print gray; the warp-and-woof pattern itself re­ moved, white--because the plain sur­ face of the plate would again be reached. If, however, instead of re­ moving the whole of the pile, only half of it be removed, a tint is obtained half-way between black and gray--a mezzotint. The art, therefore, of the mezzotint engraver consists in scrap­ ing away the metallic pile and in re­ moving so much of the warp-and-woof patter beneath it as he may find neces­ sary to obtain the exact tints or tones he requires, and his skill lies in the pre­ cise value whioh he is able to give to each of these tones and tints. The instruments necessary to the pur­ pose are three--a "rocker" or" cradle" with which to lay the ground; a sharp knife or"scraper"with which to cut away the pile; and burnisher with which to remove partially or entirely the wrap- and-woof pattern below it. There is, however, no hard and fast rule as to the exact fashion of these instru­ ments, or even as to the meth­ od of using them, the earliest mezzotinters having had recouse to a variety of methods for "laying their grounds." Thus Claud, who like Rem­ brandt seems to have heard of the pro­ cess and tried it on one of his etched plates, rubbed its surface with pumice- stone, and then burnished away the tint produced by it; Everdingen used a process which the nature of his work does not render very obvious; Bem- brandt employed the etching needle itself in sucii a way as to throw up with its point as much, of the pile, or "burr," as he required; Siegen had a method of his own, which produced an effect not unlike "stipple" (a mode of engraving previously in use); Ru­ pert, whose work is singularly fine and painter-like, was contented to ground his plate as he went on, and in the de­ gree necessary to each part of it, by the ao'ion of the burin or dry point with Which he was actually working, his principle being not unlike that, of Rem- I brandt Turner obtained his color and some- lM«ft MMfeNfe*' t* the rocker with a plain ohi*sl-like ed|re, for "instance, for sffl&n materials, « tool with a serrated edge for grosser tex­ tures, and go oil. Altog(^!i«i', the* 6- of a man of genius the modus operandi of mezzo-tint admits of considerable variety, while this very latitude of pro­ cedure renders it again, peculiarly a painters's art--Seymour Madden, in Harper's Magazine. >. Unkind Words. i. J Don't speak them. The fruits of carelessly-uttered, contemptuous words may prove a bitter gathering to you. Deep into the tender, sensitive soul of a loved one they may aink, and the glance of pain and reproach may haunt you as long as life endures. It will not suffice that thd patient mother forgave y6«, and loved you all the same; every cold and angry speech you ever made her will come before you as you stand beside "mother," just about to take her last journey. The dull, bitter ache at your heart atuns you, and you kias the stilled hands that so patiently toiled for you, as a flood of tender memories sweep over you. But after you are alone, and these cruel words^every one you ever spoke, revolve in your memory, they are sharper than sword thrusts. The first rains that fall upon her narrow grave, they beat down the sod, and your heart is torn with pain and anguish. You can scarcely refrain from rushing out into the pelt­ ing rain, and gathering to your heart the cold form. In vain they tell you it is only senseless day that lies there; anguish and regret fill you with these brooding, painful thoughts. And the tender, kind father! You have in childhood thought him harsh and stern. Oh, add not to the burden of his declining years one hasty or un­ kind speech for him to secretly grieve over, and for you to repent in dust and ashes the thoughtless impulses that gave them birth. Years have slijpped past in days of joy and sorrow smce the young sister was summoned "hame." You were of­ ten quick with her; little foibles of hers tried you severely* You thought she might db better, and in no gentle words told her so. Ah ! like scorpions they bite and rankle now. You loved her through it all--the pure little sis­ ter whose blue eyes filled with tears at your reproof. Every thread of that yellow hair was precious to you, and when the "lassie wi' the lint-white locks," in hor girlhood, was suddenly stricken down, and meekly said: "I'd get well for you if I could," then, indeed, was your cup of regret and sorrow full. But Heaven claimed her; no harsh works awaited her there. It mattered little to you that they said she was better off. You knew that your sunshine was gone, and the smiles from your lips. You had often, by a quick,passionate reproof,frightened the light from the sunny blue eyes. You are told that "she will live in a clime of perpetual Bunshine and fadeloss' bloom; that God loved her, and He took her. "But the bitter pain is in your own empty heart. How tenderly you kiss the white lids that shut in the win­ dows of the soul, now shut forever. Little feet that have never yet once tripped over rough paths, you kiss them, too, and a long good-bye. In the snow you In id her. Through long, stormy nights, the desire is yet strong to take her to your arms, and you think, "Precious blossoms of love, why do we not cherish them while we have them. --Etta Guernsey, in Golden Bute Boys and Overcoats. "Let me tell you," said a Detroit man "that it's all nonsense for boys to wrap up the way they do nowadays. Why, when I was a youngster such a thing as a boy's overcoat was never heard of." How did the little Jellows keep warm in cold weather?" "Exercise, of course. I was raised up north, and in the winter I had a warm jacket and a pair of mittens, and tied my ears up in a, woolen comforter. Chest-protectors and insoles and flan­ nel underwear and such were unknown quantities in those days, and it was cold enough eometime* to freeze the horns off of a brass monTcey." "And were you never cold ?'* "You bet I was cold, but I just run for it An overcoat! Why, a boy in overcoat would have astonishefi the community. And the boys in those days had one pair of mittens to a win­ ter. If they lost them, they blew on their fingers to keep them warm. If they wore out, they patched the seat of the mitten with leather. It makes me sick to see the puny boys jof to-day rolled up like a lot of girfs and afraid of catching cold. And that is just how the J get cold, too. Boys had sore throats in those days and their grand­ mothers gargled them with salt and water, and made them hot doses of vin­ egar and molasses ani butter, and they got well the next day. They did not die off at a minute's notice because they forgot to put on their arctics." And the indignant oitazen went off muttering. Boys in overcoats ? Well, I should smile to reinember.-^-Delroii Free Pressi ' ' Will Blood Stains Wash Out? To the present day the superstition is rife that blood stains can not be washed out. During the French revo­ lution eighty priests were massacred in the Carnelite chapel at Paris, and the stains (called) of their blood are pointed out to-day. Sir Walter Scott, in his "Tales of a Grandfather" de­ clares that the blood stains of David Rizzo, the Italian private Secretary of Mary Queen of Scots, who was stabbed in Holyrood palace by certain Protest­ ant leaders of her court, aided by her husband, Darnley, are still to be seen. In Lancashire the natives show a stone called the "Bloody Stone." which were so marked to show Heaven's displeas­ ure at some of Cromwell's soldiers' atrocities at Gallows Croft In "Mac­ beth," act 5, scene 1, Shakspeare al­ ludes to the idea: "Yet here's a spot." The truth about blood not washing out can easily be explained. In the first place, if that of a- murdered per­ son, it is not often attempted* In the next place blood contains oxide of iron, which sinks deep into the fiher of wood, and proves indelible to ordinary wash­ ing. Thus it is true that stone of a porous nature, and wood not of , the hardest kind, are susoeptible to the stain of blood produced by the oxide of iron which the blood contains. But the blood of a pig ia as good as that of a murdered man.--Cincinnati En­ quirer. MATRIMONY is a high sea, and every man who plunges therein, runs a great risk iu what he may find--treasures, nee of f l^bp Speaker. After ']|&¥ing net apprentice- •hip to the log schoolthouse. ia politics, 1mm to » th|#«||iler villages. You huff got your spo*ch well in hand and your meetings liavo been well advertised, with the invaria­ ble prefix of "Hon." or "Col." or some such title, and the ladies are invited to be present As you start out cfa the i:»t» for your desiinaliou yo« picture to i Tottr rrmtf* fhA Ihe community of which you are about to "throw yourself" when*they think of the advent of so distinguished a person aa yourself. You are positively certain that you have ruined the business of one vitlage, for a day, at least! The "fair women and brave men" have undoubt­ edly congregated at the depot to do you honor{ As tha train pulled up at "the station"--possibly a "flag" one-- your heart beats quick, and the proud­ est moment of your life has come! Alas! there is nobody at the stopping plaoe--not even one person to meet you! You walk down to the tavern, and on your way down you perceive to your disgust that a farmer's team has just driven up to the one sture.in the place, and its occupants are actually about to trade! You discover to your horror that two other wagons filled with people are driving out of the town and going home! It had not ooe^rred to you that anybody could go away from that bamlet until after yotur meet­ ing ! With a heavy heart you walk into the open door of the hotel office and find it empty. It is a chilly afternoon, but there is no fire. After freezing for an hour or two an elderly lady cau­ tiously opens the hall door, and aftw having given you a long look througn her spectacles, asks, "Do you want to see pa?" Assuming that "pa" is the landlord you answer "yes," "I guess you'll find him down on the farm--it's only about a mile from here," she r - plies, and departs. Then all is quiet again. You go to the door and find that that team is still in front of the solitary store. It must be that some­ thing is being said about you in that store. With a quick ear, and very dfg- nifiedly, you walk past the open door. "Cant pay only 13 cents eash for eggs," is all you hear. After walking a decent distance you turn about, and that last team is leaving town! You see a young fellow lean up against a fence, and ask him, MJs there a political meet­ ing advertised here for to-night" "Not as I knows on," is his answer. You go back to your tavern and about night the landlord comes in in his shirt­ sleeves and lights a fire. About half past 7 five or six old fellows files in and wants to know if the speaker has comes. Modestly you announce you have ar­ rived. One of them prods you gently with "Of course we don't believe a gosh-blasted thing you are going to say, but we like to hear anybody that ia tonguey!" The meeting takes place in the ball room. Fifteen or twenty persons get in, and you "go it" After you are through the chairman says "it was first rate," and he is almighty glad that old Jim Jones was there to hear iti" You go home sadder and wiser.--Detroit Free Press. The Lime-Kiln Clnb. "Almos' ebery day," said Brother Gardner as Judge Chdaver fell over the stove-hearth and opened the meet­ ing, "I find in de newspapers an article entitled: 'De Fuclier of de Cull'd Race,' or 'What kin we do widde Cull'd Man,' or 'Am De Black Man Improvin!' De aiverage white man who loves to lean back in his cheer, put his thumbs into his vest holes, an' pat us on de back fur good boys, feelin' dat he am dead-perfeck an' dat we may some day* secure de right to sot in his shadder. "Gem'len what am de fucher of de white man ? What kin we do wid him ? Am de white man improvin' ? Let us lean back an' study him a bit. Who suffers polygamy to walk frew de West wid its hat on its ear ai' openly defyin' law an'decency? De white man! "Who am responsible fur de liquor traffick an' its burdens of woe an' mis* ery? De white man! *'Who takes de money of widers an' orfuns an' his feller-men an' hies him across de frontier to safe quarters, wrecking scores of homes an' bringin' ruin to hundreds of people? De white man! "Who, as do trusted servant of de people, robs an' plunders an' embezzles ? De white man! "Dar' may be ten white men to ebery one cull'd juan, but fur every one black man convicted of arson, adultery, for­ gery, burglary, or murder, twenty-eight white men am hauled up an' sent ober de road. Whar' dar' am one cull'd man in prison he has fifty whito men to keep him company. So much fur delr hon­ esty. "What am de white man's fucher? He am growin' sordid. He am becomin' selfish. He am incited by ambitions which trample laws under foot an' give no heed to de voice of honesty. Dissi- pashun an' wine-tipplin' an' gluttony am shatterin' his nerves an' thinnin' his blood. In two ginerashuns mo' three out of ebery ten white men will be vicious cranks or silly fools. "What kin we do wid him? Nuffin'. In his vanity and egotism he am plung- in' forward to destrucshun, an' he am bound to fetch up on de rocks. "Am de white man improvin'? Look ober de long list of statesmen, poets, artists, advocates, physicians, philan­ thropists, and naturalists of twenty years ago an' match it if yeu kin wid de names of men of to-day. You can't do it! De white man has passed his zenith an' am now on de down-hill side. High libin', fast libin', an' a constant excite­ ment hev combined to befuddle his in- telleck an' wreck his physical powers, an' thirty years hence a thinker will be a side snow in himself. We doan' want any pattin' on de back by white folkses. We am hoein' our row right longside of him, an' let him look out dat we doan' reach de eand fust" Rapid Transit. The slowness of the New York boy is fast passing into a proverb. Two New York messenger boys meet on Broadway. One of them seisms to be in a hurry. The other one, who is more composed, says: "Where are you going, Bob?" '"I've got to deliver this important note and wait for an answer." "I'll tell you. Bob, what to da In­ stead of delivering the note and wait­ ing for an answer, you can wait for ihe answer first, and deliver the note after­ wards. Let us go out fishin' while you are waiting for the answer, and you can deliver the note after we get back." --Texas Sifting a. Uet So Used to It* It ain't fur de lub o' money dat some pnssons work. It is 'case dat when da had ter do it, da got so used ter de 'sociation dat at las da fin's it de bes* 'panion. Er pusson ken own er disa­ greeable dog till he gets so used ter his ways dat airter er while he larns ter MX tiTliE llSipgj PITH AND Hfe Gives It is more blessed to give tfanh jre- ceiveadvice. The only man Xfiir know who felt thn he was tooyOttugto advise other people was 08 yetrs old, and had just begun to learn tfafcthe didn't know anything. You always pay for the best advice. Really good advice is sievei" free* Did ysu ever ask 3i sjSivSSivW!,. }'m? Htm ? 't.n.-ri, what did the lawyer say ? Fifty dol­ lars. If you want to be somebody in this world, you must begin yourself. •Your great great grandlatftfr «aa"f help you, because he is dead, and this is a live world that wants living men. When I hear a man iatifng too much about his ancestors, I stf^. There is a man who needs them." I have known some men who were very proud of their ancestors, whose ancestors would have been most dismally ashamed of them. We care more for the pedigree of the horse we buy than that Of the inan who sells him. After all, hard work is the great secret of success. It accomplishes more than genius. There are white crows, but they are no more uaefnl than black onea. Hard work dosn't kill men. "Fun" kills men. The "good times" the boys have lay them out The hard workers have no time for dis­ sipation, so they live long. Man's work goes on forever, but every man doesn't go on forever to do it He doesn't do it all while he does stay here. A young man must do his best and hardest work now. When you can get $50 a line for your poetry, my boy, as Mr. Tennyson does, then vou can afford to write as poor poetry as Mr. Tennyson does. Wearing a Barnside hat doesn't give a man a war record. Twenty-eight inches of coat padded across 16 inches of shoulders doesn't make you a gym­ nast. Men do not value a turkey for its plupage. Don't go into debt If you't can get along without more than you have, don't borrow; steal. It would not worry you half so much, and if you Bteal enough you can go to Canada and become a shining light in societv. "Does it pay," you ask, "to be honest?" No, my son, not if you're honest for pay, it doesn't. Not if you are honest merely because you think it will pay i not if you are honest because you are afraid to be a rogue; not if you are honest because you bOlieV in that mean old saying tjiat "honesty is the best policy." Honesty isn't a policy, it's a principle, and if you can't Be honest because your soul hates a lie and de­ spises a mean action, if yon can't be honest for the sake of the dear, white Truth herself, don't try to be honest; be a rascal, that's what you're intended for. Get married, my son? Look me in the eye, if you never do anything else in the world, get married. Don't be in too big a hurry about it, but don't be too deliberate. It is your dutyi Don't think the girls all butterflies of fashion. If you want to marry a launl dress, do your courting in the laundryj but if you want a wife, marry the girl you love. Be honest with the world. Don't sail under false colors. Don't repine over your poverty; it is good for ypu. We get most of our Presidents from Illinois tan-vards and farms and Ohio towpaths. Don't envy any great man, my boy. The great man, with his weight of years and care envies you every time he passes you by. And if you can't be a leader, double-leaded, a column long, on the second page, you can be something just as useful. You can be a little paying four-line solid nonpareil "ad" on the inside, down un­ der a picture of Lydia Pinkbam, and that will help the make-up, and fill its place in the paper.* Be anything in the world, my boy, that is alive and useful. Bo anything but a "dead ad." • Hadn't Been Introduced. "D'you see that man sitting by the stove over there looking at a copy of Punch?" remarked a somewhat ex­ cited gentleman, in the hall of a popu­ lar hotel. "Yes. What of him?" "He's a Bulgarian atrocity, ha is., An infernal stuck-up snob, a blarsted Eng­ lishman of the worst type. He is a --. But I will be calm. I will explain alL That individual came to this hotel three weeks ago. He sat at' the same table with myself and friends, and as he seemed to be lonesome, we entered into conversation with him. He was charmingly polite at the table, and we enjoyedhis society very much, as also he appeared io do oup. It so happened that I never met him anywli&d else except at meal times, and therefore had no opportunity to improve our ac­ quaintance. This afternoon I saw him sitting over there by the window, smok­ ing a cigarette and reading his Punch. I went to him and said; *A very un­ pleasant afternoon, sir.' He didn't take the slightest notice. I sat down in a chair opposite to him, and again re­ marked; 'Do you intend remaining long in the city?' D'you know what he did ? He stuck on6 of those d--d mean single-barreled eye-glasses into his eye and scrutinized me from boot-soles to hat, and then, yawning in my face, ex­ claimed : 'Excuse me, sir; you certain­ ly have the advantage. I am not aware that you were introduced to me,' and then he got up and sat over there by the fire, leaving me standing like a fool and feoling like one, anyhow. What's the use of an Englishman, anyway? George, give us two whiskey soifpfk"--- Kansas City Times. : -- • T)ie Origin of Petroleum. a As to the origin of petroleum scien- tifice men are by no means agreed. In the early period of American oil-mining the only question much debated was: whether it was of animal or vegetable origin, or both. Of late, however, a theory has been started that the oil is not due to the storage or organic re­ mains under the surface, but that it originated from chemical combinations of carbon and hydrogen in the interior of the earth. This view of the subject has been taken up in consequence of Ktroleum having been found in such rge masses as almost to preclude the idea of its origin in animal or vegeta­ ble deposits. If this he true, it is prob­ able that the oil exists in still larger quantities than any whioh have yet been observed.--New York Commer­ cial Advertiser. • " " * A FUNERAL in Moscow, when con­ ducted as is usually the case, in the or­ thodox national manner, is a pictur­ esque and interesting sight The pro- cossion is headed by longbearded priests in their black robes, carrying shrines and burning tapers in their hand*. Next comes the hearse with four horses. On the steps of the hearse are more priests, holding images of the Savior over the coffin. Yet more follows, speaking words of consolation to the friends and relatives of the departed. As the procession moves on the people hi the streets cease from their occupa­ tions, uncover their heads, bow, and pray for the repose of the deceased. IN Boston the yearly tax averages 7,80 to ffaph inhabitant. - . <• fsmftypsw. dentist is in every- on a * T*i popnta body's mouth. Air ataaatettr's performance fiddle is violin deed. TH* difference between home and a beaNniff>house is,that at one they have Pillow sh» mR. and nfc nthar tlmv • MAMMA--Yes, my child, we shall know each other in heaven. Edith-- But, mamma, wo can make believe oat when some of them oall, can't we ?" •mi , ^ HesatdewaonhSThe-. And saw about ten million * • -~Norri*imon Bt/rald AN Ohio girl, while oat riding with a young man, got out of the buggy and killed heraelf with a pistol. He proba­ bly persisted in driving with both hands. , A OOCD many young men often say they are going to marry and settle. It ^ is better to settle first and marry after­ ward, though marriage is frequently a settler. MRS. NEWOOOD (in the picture gal- : tyry)--"This, Aunt Eunce,is a real old v master." Aunt Eunioe -- "Well, I shouldn't care if it was; it's just aa good aa some of the new ones." AT a Western funeral all the pall­ bearers got into a fight, but the corpse remained perfectly neutral The lat- ter's conduct was highly commended : by-the local press.--Boston Post. THE public buildings in England have a hard time of it The contract­ ors knock down about 40 per cent on ' each one of them, and then the Feni­ ans blow up what is left --Burdette. ONE of the attractions in a dime mu­ seum is a "human fly." He probably came from Canada. Anyhow, it is known that the human fly there about' the time--fly time, so to speak--a big bank defalcatioa is reported" ia. -this country. ' ' A WHALK unon the cab'e now * ' "i Did sit bim down, D d sit him down. • ' He wondered if It all were true Just then a-passing under him And as he listened lie demurred, A-mutterinar. A-mutter.ng. . He sa!d with men he'd never herd, _ Because he saw they'd plunder 1 --Louisville Courier-Journal SOME editors have a happy way. of expressing themselves A Colorado editor, referring to a recent lynching says, "There was no regular trial in*the case of John Flanders yesterday. He had an interview in the woods with a few friends and it is perfectly certain that John will not burgle any mox*,"««» Texas Siftings. TH1! NEW CA8SABIANCA. ^ , Thogirl8trodonthe ro.ler skates, -' - But then she could not go; She was afraid to tempt the fates , *f : " Because she wabbled so. She called aloud, "Say! Chnwley, Do cone; help me along1." K But Chawley went the other way, Because his legs went wrong; There came a crash--a thunder soiUMlS . The girl, oh. where was she? J t Ask or the giddy youth around, Who viewed her hosiery." • , --Erchanoe. _ Two GENERAL PASSENGER AGENTS of rival roads were sliding on the pond all on a winter's day. "Can yon cut a fig­ ure eight?" asked Mileage of the P., K. & O. "I can," replied Bebate, of the X, Y. & 7.; "look at me " But; suddenly he paused and said, "I won't do it. If I cut a figure eight you'd cut a lower rate right away. I know your - tactics."--Brooklyn Eagle. ^ •> TWO or A KIND. A dude and a monkey met one day. Ami to the dude the monkey did say; • "How do, Mr. Dade?" 1 hen to the monkey the dude replied; "Kemetnl er my high ancestral pride. You're only a monkey, sir, beside, Please, don't be so rude." Sa'd the monkey, "Pardon my dudish frfenit Surely I did not really mean to offend. T \t take a high shelf. If 1 ui a monkey, I own its true, But 1 could not help it; and as lor you, " v • You're Just my picture in ail you do, r 1 ° And you made yourself 1" MOUAU Misfortunes' uses are sweet as a pie Q: When they don't interfere with you andl* --Yonkera Gazette. Two SERVANT-GIRLS are enjoying their holiday out, and came to a halt before the showcase of a dealer in an­ tiquities to admire the lamps and lus­ tres. "Whioh of these chandeliers would you have for your house if you were ricli ?" said one. "I'd have that lovely bronze one there with eigh­ teen lamps." "I'd prefer that one," responded her companion, pointing to a plain brass pendant with three lamps. "Why?" "Because it would be so much less trouble to clean it!"--From (he French. •( first College la the United State*. 1 The first college founded in the United States was Harvard College, at Cambridge, Massachusetts, three miles west of Boston. Six years after the first settlement of this region by the English, the following entry appears on the colony's records, under date of October 28, 1636: "The court agreed to give 400/. towards a schoale or col- ledge, whearof 200/. to bee paid the next yeare, and 200/. when the worke is finished, and the next court to appoint wheare, and what building." The next year the court ordered that the col­ lege should be at "Newetowne," and designated the Governor and Deputy Governor, with ten others, including the prinoipal laymen and ministers of the colony, among whom were John Cotton and John Winthrop, to have charge of the undertaking. A school was started with a few pupils, but it is d&ubtful whether more than a small part of the grant of £400 was ever paid, for a number of years, in the feeble condition of the colony's resources, so that the real founder of the college was the Bev. John Harvard, who died in 1636, a short time after his arrival in America, and bequeathed to the col­ lege his library and £700 in money. The new college was therefore called Harvard, and the name Newtown was changed^ to Cambridge, in h nor of the university town of the same name in England. In 1638 a class began a course of college studies there under Nathaniel Eaton. The first graduating class of the college, in 1643, consisted of nine members.-- Chicago Inter- Ocean. IN Coopertown they#tell a story of an English joker who once visited rfeni- more Cooper. Cooper was then the most eminent man in the little town. One day while Cooper was dining with the Englishman, he poured out some native wine--wine from grapes raised in his own garden. Taking up a glass, and looking through it with pride, Cooper remarked: "Now, Mr. Steb- bings, I call this good honest wine." "Yes, Mr. Cooper, I agree witkjon. It is honest wine--poor, but honest* T&TXK of your own faults the first part of the night (when yon are awake), and of the faults of others the latter part of the night (when yon are asleep.) --Chinese Proverb. WHEN a woman puts away anything for safe keeping she usually hides it where neither she nor anyone else can V*"- ' Jji , 'i • "lis