The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

'v-v:.' . . . . . . , . . . . • -< »•» • »>,•- > _A r -A*,..* ****** • f • / '•"*•' •' * 0.*- •' - Mil * * ' , 'I# *sr- - ,.«~«arr • -~K, .-• • ..f'S -'. .>'">& ft Pledged butto Truth, to Liberty anmmw; No Favors Win us and no Feaf Shell A wo. ° •,:'•* "» VOL. 10. w M'HENRY, ILLINOIS, WDNESDAY. APRIL 1. l88o. j|e$[eiFy JMaMealw. Published Kr»'? Wednesday by * . V^V>' KLYKB .,*» ptTBUsan., 'M:k $ v-fJ - »\ «m*o Office in Bishop's Block, --Opposite Perky & Owkn's,*- 4 • TRRM3 Of SUBSCRIPTION. Jn*> Year (»n Advanee) $1.50 If Net Paid within Three Months.-- .. 2.00 SuMnriptloM received f*r three or six oonthe in tfce same proportion. •--s-i -- ^$r-- "--- Kates of Advertising. We announce liberal rtitcs for advertising Ml the PlainI'EalkRi ami endeavor to state fhdin bo plalnlv that they will bf-,4CMUIy «n- ierstoad. They arejaa follow*: 1 Inch one year 8 Inches one year "S Inches one yen* > It Column one veil# h C'«lnmn one ve», ~ ' - par 900 10(» 15 00 30 ()0 60 00 100 00 Column one yei One Inch means the measurement of one nch d«wn the column, single column width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have the privilege of changing as often as they thooae, without extra charge.l Regular advertisers (meaning those having Standing cards) will be entitled to insertion •f local notices at the rate of B cents per line each week. All others will be charged 10 eents per !me the fl-stweek, and 5 cents per line for each subsequent week. Transient advertisements will, be charged St the rate of 10 cents pe line, (nonpareil type, same as this is sot in) the first issue, and |eents per line for subsequent issues. Th""s, an Inch advertisement will cost tl.00forone -*#eck, ll.no for two weeks, 12.00 for three weeks, and so on. The Plaindralrr will be liberal in giving editorial notices, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable fee from everybody seeking the use of Its columns for pecuniary fain. ' iMfta--------- BUSINESS CARDS. ASA W. SMITH, ATTORNEY at LAW and Solicitor in Chancery.--Woodstock, III. J ESSE A. BALDWIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Law business in Kverv part of the State receives prompt attention. Room 24, 99 Washington St., Chi­ cago, III, * - S. F. BENXETT, M. I*. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Also United States Examining Surgeon. Richmond, Illinois. A. 8. CIIILDS, M. D., Homeopathic physician and sub GEON, We«t McHenry, III. Calls promptly attended to, day or night. DR. C. R. WELLS. „ PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Wancotiflft, I Lakt Co., III. All calls promptly attend­ ed, day or night. Office on Main St., east of Barker's harness tliop. MAItt G. BARIUAN. Hair worker, ah kn.ds of Hair Work done in llrst class style and at reasonable prices. Rooms at residence, north east corner of Public Square, McHenry, III. BUSINESS CARDS. II. T. BROWN. M. I>. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Office over the Post Office, opposite Perry ft Martin's Jtore up stairs, McHenry, 111. C. H. FEGERS. M, D- titlYSIClAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, J Ills. Office at Residence, on the Corner, Opposite Bloke's Furniture Store. - r O. J. HOWARD, M. D. f>HYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Office at 1 my residence, opposite M. S. Church, McHenry. 111. BARBIAN BROS. CIGAR Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or-ders solicited. Shop, la Old McHenry, .nKelter Block, two doors west of PLAlNr MCALEB Office. WASHINGTON, D. The popular palace hotel of the National Capital. Conveniently located and accessible to all the street car lines of the city. Open all the year. 0 G STAPLES, , Proprietor. Late of the Thousand Island House. OPENED AGAIN! Robert Schiessle Msving purchased the old stand of 4o*ej>h Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, MeHENRY, ILLINOIS, Has oi^ened the same as a first-clase Saloon and Restaurant, ire he will at all times keep the beat brands of Wines, Liquors and Cigars to be found in the market. ' Also Agent For. i«%ANZ FALK'S MILWAUKEE LAGER BEER Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al­ ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quali­ ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended to. |4;* GOOD STAB LINO FOR HORSES. WOall and see ns. Robert Schiessle. McHenry, III., Sept. 1st, 1884. M A R C U S ' GERMAN f Manufactured by F. PAROUS •DEALER IN- PURE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. Woodstock III. . _J®hS*lie1«t Tonic in the world. Put up in INilt and guart Bottles. F. MARCUS* Patentee. % DON'T YOU FORGET IT! A§A W. SMITH, , W - - . m t n o l s . Backed by Miliums of money offer vou INDKMNITY against damage by' Wrp» Lightning, Wind Storms^ k CYCLONES AND TORNADOES, ^ • - Drop me a postal card and I will visit yon: on and I will write you a policy, and waen either orany of these destructive ele. neuts devastates your property, happy will yoo be if you hold one of my policies, "for I • gill sure, v visit rou. and minister- unto you. 'V Jflu not forsake yea. W. SMITH, .»-.£* Om'l Intucmot A#t ' d & •' .v\ , lii'tSi DR. C. E. WILLIAMS. DENTIST. Residence Dundee. Will be at McHenry. at Parker House, the 10th 11th 25th and 2(5th of each month. When djvtes occur Saturday or Sunday I make niy visits on the following Monday, and the first day of such visit occurs on Friday, I will stay but one day. W. J. CUTTERIDGE, Teacher of instrumental music. Terms reasonable, and satisfaction guar­ anteed. Rooms at Mrs. L. A. Clark's, Mc­ Henry, 111. A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker and Jeweler NO. 35 FIFTH AVE., Chicago, 111. Special attention given to repairing Fine watch, es and Chronometers. 9&A. Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLD STAND, JACOB BONSLETT, OALOON AND RESTAURANT, at the old J stand, opimeite Bishop's mill, McHenry, III. The choicest Wines, Liquors anr< Cigars to be found in the county. IVarm or cold meals on short notice on ap'p'ication. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. J. PEKOVSKY, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, Wholesale and Retail Dealer. HANDLES nore but his own make,and will compare his Brands with the best made in the State. Store and Manufactory next door to 'he Post Office, McHenry, IlL l|«if|ST0PPE0 FREE • H Marvelous sttcctit. • • Insane Persons Restored • • MM Dr.KLINE'S GREAT . • • NerveRestorer l/or Brain 4eNfrvb Disbasbs. Only turt curt /or Neri>e Affections, Fits% Epilepsy^ etc• I Infallible if taken as directed. No Fits nfttr I first diy* s use. Treatise ami $2 trial bottle free t® I Fit paii'ents, they paying express charges on box when I received. Send names, i*. O. nn^ express address of J afHictfl to Dh.KLINU.O^i Arch St^PhiUdetphia,!^, I X>rug£ists. BEWARE OF IMITATING FRAUDS, ~--:• 7---.fifi. • ••••^"'Wr-jwgapMyiafci HANJ) BY MAIL. Thoroughly tanght bv practical stenograph­ ers in Rowel 1 A Hickcox' Correspondence Class of Phonography. Tuition (ft a term (12 lessons) two terms in the full course, The must popular, thfe largest, the oldest, irost re- li;ib!e i-lass of shorthand In existence. Through it hundreds have acquired a thor­ ough knowledge of Phonography. Write tar particular and chrulars. B0 WELL ft HICKCOX, Boston Mass American agents for Isaac Pitman's Phono­ graphic Books, and dealers in all Shorthand Book£ atid supplies. W M . H C O W L I N [SV0CKS8OK TO U. II. CLOTHIKR] D. S. WAR CLAIM SOLICITOB AND ATTORNEY. ALSO NOTARY PUBLIC. Prosecutes pensioc or any other claims against the government, relating; to the late, or former Wais. Complicated cases and re­ jected claims made a specialty. If stamps are enclosed for reply, all communications will be promptly answered. Office at Beaidenee, MAS BOM ST., WOODSTOCK, ILL. References by permission as regards char' acter, business ability, reliability, Ac., Ac : (ien. John A. Logan, U S. Senator, Chicago, Illinois. Gen. J.C. Smith, State Treasurer of Illinois. Hon. R Ellwood.M.C. 6th IlL Dist., Syc amore, 111: Hon. John C. Sherwin. ex-M. C. 5th 111. Dist., Aurora, III lion. A. M. Jones, U. S. Marshal, Chicago, III Cot. Jas. A. Sexton, Pres Union Veteran Club, Chicago, 111. Jetse A. Baldwin, Ass't U. S. Attorney, Chi. cago, III. Messrs. Selz, Schwab '& Co., Wholesale Boot and Shoe Dealers. Chicago, III. Also hundreds of county and home referen. CO*. Soldiers' irtment. Conducted by .9. Benxktt. PUMP REPAIRING, CEMENTIiNG, ETC. . The undersigned is prepared to do alt jobs in the line of Digging Wells, Repairing Pumpi, Cementing Wells, or will put in New Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. In short will do all work in this line. Can furaish you a new Pump, either wool or iron, warranted, as cheap as any other man. Good references furnished if desired. If you want a Welt Dug, a Pump Repaired era new Pump, give ine a call. •WOrders by mall promptly attended to. Post Office, Johnsburgl), 111. L. BANTES. Johnsburgh, 111., May 23th, 1884. STAffl-jp. years to die In, till fen years, and th< twenty. The pert very slow in the to tliU time not «T!!SrK^Km^Ef«. H. E. WIUIITMAN, Proprietor. First class rigs, with or without drivers The American Shorthand Writer. (FOURTH TEAR.) The Cheapest Shorthand Journal in the United States. Each number contains fac si-nile reporting notes of eminent stenographers in the various systems of Isaac and lien Pitman, Graham, Munson, Takgrafy, etc., and all the news in­ teresting to the profession. Contributed to by leading stenographers. SUBSCIPTION 91.00 A YKAR. Single lumbers, 15 Cents. Row ell A IIickcox, Boston, Mass. DO YOU KNOW THAT Plug Tobacco, With Red Tin Tag; Rose Leaf Fine Cnt chew mg; Navy Clippings, ami Black, Brown and Vellow Snuffs ure the best and the cboieest quality considered. Attention Horsemen! I would call the atteutfion of the public td my Stable ot Stock Horses, four in nuiuber: two Morgans, one 3-4 Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They arc all good representatives of their breed. Also a few Merino Sheep r sale. The public are cordially invited to call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday/ if. S. Colby. io-7-tf Mchenry, ill Culver House, RICHMOND. ILL. C.N. CULVER, - - Proprietor. HA V I N j recently purchased the above House, I have put it in thorough repair, with new furniture throughout, and would respectfully invite the patronage of the trav­ eling public and others. The tables will al­ ways lie provided with the best that can be procured, and polite and attentive waiters will be in readiness at all times to attend to the wants of guests. No pains will be spared to make tins a First Class House. Large and commodious barns on the premises. Free Omnibus to and from all trains. Sample Rooms on llrst floor. HOBERT C. 111BSTT, BREEDER OF J. P. SMITH, MATCHMAKER « JEWELER, McHenry, - Illinois. H ying moved into my new store, one door •Cast of Mrs. Searles' Miillnerv Store I am nnw ^prepared to show to the buying public as line a stock of ffatcfies, Clocks, Jewelry. Silver and Plated Ware, A*"%n be found in the county, which I^offer . > it prices thai cannot be beat. The flnest line of • I^iiig-^r* Hingis, a,v< r seen In this section. (Also AgMt for <U I* >pular Ss*Sem* Sewing M&chini. A Fine Stock of CHOICE CONFECTIONERY, AND CIGARS- Aiwavs on hand. iVCall In, examine goods aid 'tarn prices. Remember I will not be u «>l«rsotd, quality of goods considered. J. P. SMITH. McH nry. III.. Oct. 13, 1884. FOWLS , KICHMOND, ILL. (FIRST REMMTM tT MCHE.NRT COUHfY FAIR) Mv fowls are of the celebrated DUKE OF YOftlv strain, remarkable for their great size and laying qualities. I can show a trio of last season's chicks weighing SI pounds. Eggs, per setting nf thirteen. fl-SU, delivered to purchaser In Richmond, Shipped, securely packed. $2.00. ROBERT a BENNETT SALOON and RESTAURANT Buck's Old Stand, MeHENRY, ILLINOIS. Fine Kentucky Liquors, French Bitters, IfcHenry Lager Beer, Phil. Best's Milwaukw Bmi . By the Bottle or Case. We buy none but the best and sell at Reasonable Prices. Call and see me and I will use you well. ANTONY ENGELN. - McHenry, 111., 1884. For ••History, Hflwmnce and Philosophy of Great American Crimes and Criminals." The most startling bo#k at recent years. Biographical, Pictorial, 161 Superb Engravings with personal Portraits of the Celebrated Criminals. (>5.9 Royal Octave pages. Low retail price, 5C. It is a work of art as well as of thrilling historic interest. Is bound to produce a profound impression. Agents sell it by the thouaands. A grand chance for canvassers. Send for particulars and be convinced that this is the most salable and profitable hook published; or, to save time, send 75 cents at o.ice for canvassing Book and state vour choice of townships. Address N. U. Thompson & Co., Publishers, Si. Louis, Mo, or Aew York City. County C. KICHMOKC Meets the llrst and i each month. Di WOODSTOO! Meets the third month. MVHDA the first ar.<t Ingsofeach month. Meet* the second an ingoot each month. DR. (I Directory. ' XO 29C. IFriaaj evenings of r, Bennett, Com. IT, ho 108. If evenings of each S. Swtttt.Com. Wednesday even. I>. BOtlk*, Com. 3W> 5S5. fimh Monday even Woodruff. Com. Bow Long Oar Western lnt\ "It Is a hard tfil last soldier of th* the old actuary pal the number of i what portion of out till? it would an exact estimate, '*Il I RMIiniC (i that there wete health at the close and Confederates soldiers, they will to one-hnlf until till 1913. to »ne te mating the averagi ors In 1865 to 28, t 76 in 1913,and 83 1 that the average In 1866 was 28. the resent the number 1] of live years, as »i points:-- Year. Aye. 1H65 1870 1875 18S0 188ft 1890 1885 1900 19»H 1005 1910 1919 1915 1917 19SS 1922 Number. S.9I2, UORT S,802,908 2,(175, IO0 2,539,1011 2,38(1,700 2,'L!LL.5:« l,S»72,(m 1,(»22,0,W l,4i.S,ri:« 1,:{1'2,8<»0 uri'.'.'-KH) 7-.N;,.'i«(» 578,03(i ti.'i.CUO 27(» 4v« 180.5W 84,566 • n,:wo um-$ "The first millidl 28 S3 38 43 48 53 58 83 67 68 73 /« TO 80 83 85 H 96 WHIUr*. iRci'tew. tell when the Ml war will die,'* lfTe do not know PwUo enlisted, or died, and with* Kf»o*8lble to torm tlculatio'i's sake, Ihg in ordinary the war. Federal* hide (I, -2,942,000 i have dlnlnisliud to rinc-qnarter Jill 1920. Esti- fe of the survlv* rill be 6? in 1904, it we assume of the veterans powlng would rep- ig at each period at a few other Proportion Lttm Whole Two-Thirds. II i If One-Third One-Quarter t>ne-*'ifth One-8i.\th One BleveHtli One-Sixteanta Apts Wanted. 4w Men Wanted. ^ To sell our Nursery products, on salary AM expenses paid by us, oi, if preferred, on com­ mission. Work every month in the year tor energetic ami reliable men. Business easily learned. Wages liberal. Terms and outfit free. Address, stating age and_inclosing stamp, S- G. CHASE & CO. (The Chase Nurseries.) BASE & UO-. Geneva, H. T. oiild take thirty cond million flf- Ird substantially • of decrease Is sw years, or up jper cent each « ous «emi-decade. From 1835 to 1S90 the death rate becomrs 8 per cei-t; 1890 to 189S, 10 per cent; 1895 to 1900,14 per cent; 1900 to 1905, 19 per ct>nt; 1905 to 1910, 35 per cent; 1910 to 1915, 39 per cent:1915 to 1920, 53 per cent; 1920 to 1925, (17 per cent; 1925 to 1930, 85 per cent; and 1930 to 1935, 99 per cont; The greatest absolute number of deaths will occur between 1910 and 1915, when more than 300 veterans will be burled each day, or 380,934 in ail. These fig­ ures are not strictly accuiate, for they are based on the assumption that those who survived the war were each 28 years old, but this is not true. Tills Is the average, and while stating it in this way will make uo ina'erlal ditlcr- ence in the first fifty year?, there will be a decided increase In life cxpecta- tlons In the latter years. The youngest of those who q#rved on either side are now about 35, while the olJest are now about 85, There are many who have not yet attained the age of 4< t and their expectations of life are far beyond what 1 have given, the average now being 47. 1 believe that enough of the younger m^n are living to maintain a respectable roll up Into the thirties and forties. To give the numbers more closely would require a calculation of all the ages in the arocy for each of the four years, which would be a long and tedious task." It appears that these figures take in both sldas of the late war. Separate them In fair proportion, and while the percentage of death maybe the saiie. the Anal result, as applied to Federal soldiers would no doubt show considerably less than 1,233 sliye in 1933. The time will probab y come when there will be but one soli­ tary eurvivor of the American Civil War. Will he also be the singl<* repre­ sentative of the Orand Army of the Republic? ; . ON An Incident ot General Buell s March to I'lttsburg Landing. While on the march from Columbia, Tenn., ubout the third of April, 1862, to join General Grant's army at Pittsburg Landing, we halted for the night after a hard daj's march, and bivouced.„on the banks of a creek somewhere be­ tween Columbia and the Tennessee river, where were several distilleries, allot them, though, bein< shut down on account of the war, and from the outward appearance of the buildings, it had been a lone time since their owners had "made a mash." The hoys soon "piped them off" all the same, and eflected an entrance to one of them. It was dark inside, though they managed to discover a number of large tubs con taluing a liquid of some kind, which, after being sampled by experts, was pronounced *'boss." It was sour, but very pleasant to take. ^ Down Into the tubs in th<« dark went ji hundred or more canteens, and they "soon "guggled" themselves full, when over to the regiment tin canteen bri­ gade marched, carrying the news ol their discovery. After the officers and otbens sampled :i -r the article tliey pronounced it bully, and there was a general stanpede f >r that 'ere itlll-house. It beat the riwlt for the gold-fields of Pfke 6 Peak in its peskiest days, and a path was soon worn across j field that laid between the 8till-hou?« and our regiment. The trail whs easily followed in the dark, and they kept going and joining uatll near midnight. Th6 boys didn't eat wy supper that night. Being tired ai d worn out by th6 long march during the day. they filled sip fuller than ticks with the White beer, or whatever it wa*, and lazily rolled in for the night. Among those who pronounced It good --exceedingly goo.|--was Oapt. Glass­ cock. He kept T«.ni Ddgau carrying the "buttermilk^ as he called i t. until it began to get kinder thick in the tubs and needed stirring up. "Get me an­ other cantcenfnl of that buttermilk," the Captain was heard to sav* several times during the night, and he got It. All had now become quiet. The bpys had got their fill, and were sweetly dreaming of "Home, sweet home." Morning came at last, and ofl for tiie still-house they again trotted for more buttermilk.*1 But nary canteen was tilled, for when daylight had peeped in numerous dead rats could be seen ^'skimming" upon the surface of the •'buttermilk'* in each of the tflbs, and the Lord knows how long the de id ro dents had "skimmed" there, aa th« hair had been about all worn of] of them 6y coin In . in contact with the hundreds of canteens that had passed over them during the night. It was might (*r<tt)gh on rats" and rougher on the boys who got their stomachs full of the stuff. You'd a died to have seen the capers they cut in try- ing to get rid of It. In those days Captain Bruce Glass­ cock carried about as much sunshine In Ills composi tlou a* anyone I ever met but, Ire was the forlornest individual in the regiment that morning, and after the close of the war it didn't do at all to mention that "butter ml It?* Ineldent in (lis presence. ANlRtllDBSt OF 4KK\NS19 »OU)lK« 1.1 FK. ' BV 8AMl'Kt, D IRWIN, Adju'unt l*ost 274, Tinoesta, Penni, In the of spring of 1864 the frontier Division'of the 7th Ariny Corps, Gene­ ral John M. Thayer commanding, was Mi* ak»r, amU «*">«< Written for the Plalndeater. ^ ' 1 |HtR»RR'3 DROLLKI ] '! ' No. 12. BY L. L. D., ST. LOUIS. MO. Dbar BoB:-Thcre was a tima when I had an implacable desire to see one of those high born freaks of nature, an English lord ind ladv. In the fiesh. This desire was particularly strong with me when I lodged In a certain ho tel en Varnish Street. I little suspect ed how soon my wish was to be grati­ fied, or in what a peculiar manner. As I was sitting in my room one stormy night, reading about tho* latest scandal and other society news, the door flew open with an alarming crash,and a little fat woman, dressed In outlandish apparel, fell sprawling Into my roopi. "Confound It!" I exclaimed,as I sprang upon my feet, "Madam, I am not used anything like this, and, to tell the truth, you scared mc so I swallowed a large chew of tobacco! However, I will throw it up. presently," The lady arqse with a charming dignity, and said in cold, distinct tones: "Sir, I am La'y Masthom. My huibaud has a habit of leaving his door unlocked, and falling asleep when I am absent any short time so that any thief might eas­ ily enter, steal the baby and pawn It, 1 am trying to break hiin of this habit by tailing in onto him, and frightening him awake. I mistook tills to le the door of our own room, and hence my actions." "1 think you'll break him," I answered, "but, lady woman Masthorn, you had better be careful or you may cause your good lord man to burst a blood vessel, besides being In constant langer of breaking your own neck. I know of a lady who fell over a saw hoise and pcrmaivntly ruined her eye sijjlit. Do be careful, do!" Said she: "I did not think of these dangers of which you have spoken, and hereafter will adopt some other course. I think, sir, do you know, that I shall try to cure my husband by throwing potatoes at him." "Oh, hang It all!" I replied rather impatiently, "you might break the window, or something, for I know yon can't throw straight, and It would not do. Better split his skull open with a meat axe and be done with it!" She said she would, and then left me. Presently I heard her pounding vigor­ ously at the door next to ray own, and as uo one opened it she soon returned a^aitt. Said she: "My husband has gone Communications being almost entirely cut off, supplies were lo v, and the army did consi lerable In the forging lire. The boys too* all they 'could, catch and they went everywhere around the vicinity, scouring the coun­ try for the best t'tere was out, living upon the fat of r,he land, or such as they hail, put it either away. At all events, when the commissary failed in supplies, the boys made it up in a style not indicated In any known edition of the army regulations. Ou one of these expeditions a clerk at department headquarters, Mr. Wiley Brltton, who wa» a very Hue writer and apt scholar, went out with a party of scouts. South of the Poteau, a stream that empties into the Arkansas just above Fort Smith, they ran Into a company of Texas Ringers, and in a skiriuiish with them, he was shot through the left wrist. Retreating, lie reached Fort Smith, anil was laid up some days before tils wounds healed and lie was fit for duty a*ain. He then got it into Ills head that fighting was not part eularly his forte, and since his wound, neititer was wr'.tin an I he desired to gu back to his old home in Missouri. He went to Gen Thayer and asked for his discharge, but the general thinking lie was too valuable a man to let him go, saying he did not well see how lie could dispense with so valuable and apt a clerk. Wiley knowing I had some Influence with the general, I be ing at that time In detached service at.headquarters, enlisted iiie in his ser­ vice to procure his discharge. I got out a set of papers and took them down to the surgeon, who was, like myseif, originally a Pennsylvania man. He made him out a certificate and strongly recommended his discharge, couching the ceriflcate in terms pe­ culiar to surgical scence, I took the certificate, got Britton's company officers to e ulorse it. and then went with him to the headquarters to see General Thayer. As we entered the room, the general, who was sitting by a table said to Britton, "Yon are still wanting to gf home are yon?" He replied affirmatively. I then present­ ed the certificate. The general looked at it and said, "read it." I read, 'this certifies this soldier Is truly entitled to a disch uge. I certify it on examin­ ation, after due consideration, a case of necrosis of the right radius of the fore arm." "What's that? That beats my time,* said the general, "if I had thought, young man. the half of that was the matter with you. I would have let'you go before. Hand nv? my pen so I can write your discharge, quick. That is the d--st name for shot through the wrist I ever hoard." , To say lie was discharged after that would be but painting the ltly. jjfcgr A Sandwich man advertises i.iuiself a "phiddling ' for his bread in winter, and during the summer lie sells agricultural implements. Thus lils bu^y season holds out the year rouud. The chimney was not a* tall *• iigpllf, and I thought grimly, these baaatit »f evil omen will soon have something to complain for. I made a wild long* at them, and came near taoftlttm of the roof, for my weapon only cleft I lie 4lr* I was almost certain tbey had faOea down the chimney eat of iHiiarfrfeiht and as I turned te retrace my victori­ ous steps I saw both animals on another part of the roof, their tail* a* large a* ~ feather dusters. As I gazed apaa them they soon commenced swellls^ tod soon bad attained the size of New­ foundland dogs. Then I judged it &e*t to climb Into my room again', aad bolt the window. Just as I got into ber tha startling thought struck me suddenly, and vividly. "They were ghosts!" I did.not sleep a wink the whole night long, and in the morning I joined a church and swore to mead my evil ways. I am a spiritualist. ^ }? Yours Unavoidably, LOVKUU •1 ; | i i awaken him! What shall I do, I harsk yon!" Here she burst Into a terrific cyclone ol sohs. which unstrung me en­ tirely, I begged iier to cry Into the coal scuttle,fearing else she would ruin t he carpet, ^he complied. Then I put my finger oil my brain awhile, and the idea that came to me I framed in words: • "Mrs. lady Masthom, you had better hire a fenian to dynamite It open!" "Oh. my goodness!" she an­ swered "Don't you think the door knob might shoot into the baby? Poor lit­ tle dear." A brilliant thought just then dashed through the front of my brain. 1 exc aimed:"Masthorn lady, I'll climb up to the open transom above the door and throw the cat in on him! I judge th it'll wake him, if anything can," She thanke.l me profusely and said I was s.-) tinusu.'t.ly kind. I got up on a high chair and a stool, au l seeing the bus- band asleep within three feet of the door, I dropped the cat on his fine bald pate. He started up with a scared veil and seeing my head just disappearing he opened the door quick a6 a flash, upset roe and threw me down etalp8 before I could count eight, I had the satisfaction of falling onto the dog, and judge from what hap pened In consequence, I will sooner or late succumb to hydrophobia, l'ne wife evidently explained to her enrag ed lord, f3r he came down, apologized, and helped me up stairs. As we reach­ ed the top his wife came out of her room to thank me.but 1 3aid: 'Woman lady Thornmast don't thank me. I am prourl t<» have been of service to you. I shall keep my door locked hereafter." "OU you good, kind man!" said she. She made a rush at me to kiss me, but I jumped into my room just In time to escape, thank goodness. I had seven­ teen locks placed on my door, and she never again affected an Entrance. One night in what is commonly call­ ed July I heard a cat complaining to the moo i from the roof. It struck me then that I could not stand such a noise and I threw a vase at the complalner. Of course I failed to wing her. I felt certain I could quiet her by going out on the roof, and out I went. I saw the cat sitting near the chimney and stole up noiselessly behind her. I took steady aim with my boot jack and brought it down with a crash--on the shingles, for lo! the cat had disappeared. I was startled some, but happening to look on the other side of the chimney I saw the beast sitting there. "That'ssi igu- lar!" said 1. Again I made a lick at her, and only hit the roif, and my knuckles. I chased her around the chimney until my thoughts,which were profane, swam round In a very dazed condition. Whenever I struck on one side the cat would be on the other. Suddenly the cat jumped up on the chimney and oo sooner had she done so when another cat was seen plainly sit­ ting beside her. "He must have come up from below," thought I, although had I noticed the graoko 1 would have remembered that there was a cooking stove connected with the chlinuey. W i WA1HINUTON LKTTER. ' ' (rr*tn * Our Regular Correspondent, Washington, March feth, 1S8&. If actions speak louder than words, Mr. Cleveland is telling the office-eeek- en* in quite audable tones to go home and wait for their country to call then to public station, rather than to Inalat on seeking honors for themselves or their cronies. Thus far the pressure of Influence seems to have failed to ('ictate a single important office. The President Is evidently callous to en­ treaty from interested parties, and such urgency Is apt to do more harm than good. He very plainly disbe­ lieves lu the feudal system In politic^ and resents slate making by delegation as an infringement on the function* of the executive. It is probable that w« shall Lear no more of meetings by congressional state delegations to unite names for recommendation. That scheme has been tried pretty thoroughly, and must be put down at it lailure. It is amusing to observe th* effort* of democratic Senators to avoid offloe* seekers at tho < apltol. Bvery morn­ ing at an early hour the applicants tvf senatorial influence to aid them in ge£ tin? appointments begin to eoHootln the Senate chamber. By 11 o'oloefc generally all 'he seats in rear of th* chamber are occupied and the Isles art thronged with anxious watcherfc Numerous ' qnaellons - the pages In regard to Senator So-and- So, as to when he usually com**, which door he enters, etc. It Is notit* : able of late that the demosratic Sena­ tors, with few exceptions, do not show up until after the Semte has bean called to order. At five minutes t« twelve Jim Christie makes the circuit of the chambcr. warning all, In bin deep bass voi:e who are not entitled to the floor to get out. As the crowd Hie* out the men cut anxious glancee back over tlieir shoulders, apparently still hoping te catrh sight of the Senator upon whom their hopes of office rest*. But the SenatA-s, thanks to the rule*, I are protected from their hungry eon* stituents after the fall ot the gwet calling the body to order. H Department horses are not sheltered | by the civil service rules, and it ha* been decided toat they must go. See- ^ retary Lamar and Attorney General Garland have b >th dispensed with the J horses and carriages provided by th* Government. Upon investigating tte President's stables Ool. Lamont also ;t concluded that there were more horse* kept there for th>) office use of the White House than will be needed ;| during the summer, and has therefom i given orders that all but three shall bo turned in to the quartermaster's do* pi>rtraent, where they belong. Then were originally seven office horse*. '" J: During Mr. Arthur's administration J|j the White House stables were well I tilled, as In addition to the seven horses referred to, he kept ten horaoa i at his own expense, among them four big bays, which were often driven four I in hand. These Mr. Arthur left for the use of President Cleveland >s long i as he might desire. President Clevo- I land inteud* keeping bnt two carriage f horses for his private use, and will | shortly purchase a suitable pair, but on- V til then will continue to use tho*o placed at his disposal by Mr. Arthur. The ex President Is recelvine a con* u stant round of a'tention durlng hfV stay at Secretary Frellnghuyeen'S house. Mr. Arthur has dined/with Senator and Mrs. Eugene Hale, with ] Mr. and Mrs. D. P. Morgan with tho Russian Minister and Madame do Struve, and with Chief Justice aad 1 Mrs. Waite. Last Wednesday tho British Miuister and Mrs. West enter- -g tained him at a dinner of fourteoa guests. --ill The first formal reception of Presi­ dent Cleveland was a brilliant aad v| successful affair In every way. At no "1 time In the history of the Execoilvo J Mansion has it presented a more at- | tractive appearance with Its brightly illuminated and tlower-decked-parlora, and handsomely dressed legion of ladies who moved gracefully about among the palms and Hand exotle* that adorned the corridors and filled every nook and corner of the parlor*, r Hum to Bent ^Ht'Vhrm to rent of eighty acraa, miles west of McHenry. Inqnlio of Philip Gelselor. •wiit'