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Alarmed the Husband. Th^re w*g on* married man got #^«ir*<l the other night, lie sent out a »lot« to hit wife about 9 o'clock to nay ? Ihil he would not be home until late. Tlie iMMDger boy when he deliveied the nott, happened to mention that he ha<! gone to the wrong house and he I?; ha»l been very wrathfully treated by a if; - man for disturbing him. The wife |g^ , , read the note, which was on a scrap of paper. She thought a minute. |||te: "I'll give you four bits if you'll tak* |£\ tills note back and tell that story with­ in ' out saying you came here. Don't say feT ' It was the wronu number." ' fe1 The boy found the husband, fe "Well, why did you biftig this I/' backr *< M They wouldn't take It, sir. ; A man i'v * '• came to the door and told me to go to t V* the devil." • ' ' / H A M r i g h t . G e t o u t . " v, *• The husband turned up quite eirly. ^ ,V He looked at hi& wife. ° UI sent you a note, but the boy most £ z" have taken It to the wrong house." 1 is; "• **I suppose so," said the wife Inno- •/X cently; "I havu't got it." ?' And that man was dying to And out !'#„ whether anybody had called, but was 4 afraid to ask.--Christian at Work. , > • . • ' * 4i *" f. **<T{ Z "* s* vi ^ * ̂ v?s j* ^ -ss* t * * j • :fit~ '.'••• SV-. •wm • > - * ' - / j DEALER I If Oreat Attractions. GOLDING BROTHERS. WAUCWri>A, IILilU - . 4 tQP A young editor, bright, poor, and punsterous, had won the affections of a rich man's daughter, and they fixed a day for him to cill on her father, and on that day he was promptly in the old gentleman's office. '•Good morning, sir," he said confi­ dently, but ready to run,"I have called on a matter of--" "We don't want any advertising to-j <Tay," interrupted the old gentlenan looking up over his glasses. "I'm not on that business, sir. I came to ask you for your daughter.'^ ... "What do you want with he#?* & "Marry her." t "For better or worse." "What does the girl say?" ' "She says she will be my wl#i#* "Ugh! You baveu't got a cent in tlie world, have you?" ~ "Yes, sir. She gave assent, and M you do the same, that will make two, and we can buy a postage stamp aud write to you for the balance of our salary." It nf»o a wretched attempt, but lie got the girl.-- Merchant Traveller. ; It. IkT • tJ&lEj. + ',ri, ^ ~ W« - MII JI Great Reductions In price of Clothing. If not wan tod at present, perhaps It will p«j| to buy for future. wear. Take notice of the following prices § aud decide for yourselves. We offer a lot of Boys Vests for 25 eents, former price 60 cents to 91 .SB* 84 OMldrens Snlts, ages 4 to 9 at $ to f former price. » 11 Boys Suits, ages 10 to 14 at &J.OO, former price $0.50 to $7.50 18 Boys Suits $2.00 to $5,00. former price $5 00 to $10.00, 30 Young Mens Suits, sizes 33 to 30, at §5.00, former price #7.50 to * 40 Boys Poplin Coats, sizes 26 to 36. at 25c, former pi ice 75c to $1 00. 12 Mens Vests, light-weight and color, 50c, former prion $1.75 to $2.00, 47 Mens (Toats, all kinds, at $2.00 to $7.00. former price #4.00 to $12.00. 8 Mens Suits at $7.00, former »rice $10,00. 5 Mens Suits at $9,00. former price $11.50. 34 Mens Suits at § to | former price. We hare recently added to our Clothing stock some very Neat and Durable Suits; In latest styles and patterns, which we have marked at very close prices, and feel confident we can please all both in quality and price. We also desire to call the particular attention of our gentle­ men friends to our uew line of Our Store is tull of New, Fresh Goods, fVe carry only the Beit, PB1CIS LOWER THAU EVES, #EBY DlPABTMiHT FULL AHD COMPLETE, General Merchant*, IwcHEixmr, lituois. ilk , - ' \< ' * : ' 1 *'• We can show you some of the finest patterns ever brought to: Wauconda, and invite an inspection of our stock, and a comparison <|f prices. Have just now on hand a new line of A Choice Line of jsr IJ ct»*- --•- --i A Line of Syrups and Molasses at Low Prices. The Prices af all goods9are fti^aOged go thnt We Will Hot be Undersold. |^~The highest market price paid for Eggs and Pioduee. COLDING BROTHERS. Waucoiula III., May 20th, 1885. *Jim Webster was brought up before an Austin justice of the peace. It was the same old charge that used to bother him In Galveston. After the evidence was all in, tho judge with a perplexed look said:-- "But I do not comprehend, Webster, how it was possible for you to steal those chickens when they were roost­ ing right under the owner's window and there were two vicious dogs in the yard" < "Hit wouldn't do yer a bit of good jedge, for me to 'splain hew I cotched dem chickens, fof yer couldn't do hit yerself if yer tried hit forty timesi and yer might get yer liyde full ob buckshot i'e berry first time yer put yer leg ober de fence. De bes way fo yer ter do, jedge, is fur yer to buy yer chickens in de market, and when yer wantyter commit any rascality, do lilt on de bench whar yer am at home,"-- iifiings. 0fA member of the Illinois legis­ lature, who is so full of conceit that his "bump" of egotism sticks up through bis hat like a lightuing/rod, remarked to another member yesterday: "I do wish we could adjourn. I want to go to Europe." "What countries will yoti visit?" In­ quired his friend. 44All ol them." "What! You surely won't dare to visit France?" "Certainly I will. Why not?" "Be :ause the French people eat jack- asses."--Newman Independent. II At his Warehouse in McHenry, is selling the best Machinery that money will buy, and at prices as low as any dealer in .McHenry or Lake Connties. I have a full line of Which is now very complete. We have the very lates styles and colors, and know we can please you. This is one of the most important branches of our business, and one that has received our very careful attention; we h^ve studied our trade, and now feel confident we are better than ever prepared to meet their wants in this department. For medium price goods we continue to sell the Redpath make, which have given such gen­ eral satisfaction for the past 3 years. In flf^They had a royal old-fashioned time the other d«y down at Richmond In the blue-grass regions of Kentucky. They sold efl a lot of negroes under the Kentucky vagrant act, and the auc­ tioneers and the - Kentucky old masters made the most of the occasion. Able- todied negroes brought from $25 to 838 for twelve months of labor, while old women were sold as low as 25 cents each. The prices were such as to ena­ ble the Programs of the Cross Roads to each "own a nigger" for the coming Jjsar. LADIES FINE SHOES, We are confident that for Style, Finish and Durability the celebrated John Foster goods are as good as mone^ will buy; we lave sold them several years and always find them reliable; while in Boots the "Buffalo" make still stands ahead, having been sold in this place for over thirty years, and stood the severest tests and not been found wanting. You take no risk in purchasing them. In l@*A man in giving his testimony betore a colored magUtrate, with ref­ erence to some one who had recently died, spoke of the deceased. **Mr. Jiner," the justice, interrupting the witness, "whut yer wanter keep on Speakin' 'bout de deceased pusson fur. In cose de man wuf deceased ur he wouldenter died. Try ter talk langtge III dis beah cou't ef yer pleaae^§«»>* Arkanzaw Traveler. <§iB&*,Tho Chico Enterpris s furnishes # cheering news that the locusts In tire Sacramento have encountered an enemy as voracious as themselves. The Digger Indian Is scooping them by myriads and eating them. tfee eating power of the Indian is al­ ways equal to the supply we may hope iftjar the extinction of the hopper. Air the best make, and warranted as represented. No old stock or cheap snide goods. If in want of auything in the line of Agri­ cultural Tools, do not fail to call betore purchasing, as I can save you money. I Alas Want Your Wheat f For which I will pay the Highest Market Price in cash, delivered at my Mill. If you hive any Wheat bring it along and get your McHenry, April 28th, 1885. w c arc tull of alt the latest styles and novelties which will be sold at the lowest living prices; we invite the ladies to call and ex­ amine our new and beautiful Dress Goods, consisting in part ot Silks, Cashmeres, Ottomans, Flannels, Buntings, etc., etc., which will be found in various colors and prices. The largest and freshest stock in town, at prices that will astonish the closest buyers. an cmes, |f®*"The "National Burial Case Asso­ ciation" has been holding a convention til Chicago. Their platform is an­ nounced to be "to make it cheaper fori men to die and be deceutly buried." T^iere Is no precedent in history where aknan has preferred to die in order tlftt he might be burled cheaply. f Mrs. Schumacher. Woi.ld Invite the attention of the % f^adies to her new Spring stock of J Bdillinery, comprising the latest styles to be lound In the city,and which she proposes to sell at prices that defy - competition, New goods and latest styles received every week. Call and examine goods and learn prices. , - , , MBB. Scuumachek. jHuearx) Always the best to be obtained* at bottom prices. i EVERY DEPARTMENTJliULL. An inspection of Goods and Prices res pectfully solicited. McHenry,lll„ li»jr 20th, 1885. - 'i ' \ ff •i'* ^ 5 a ,» "4 F New "Wall Papery New New Wall Papery And Borders to Matcn. The largest Stock iu this secttoh, and at the very Lowest PrieM* TRIMMliD FREE. , • . • CARPEf New Boots and Shoes, In Ladies', Geuts* and Children's Wear. Styles Mens Hata A Caps. Paints and Oila, Mixed Paints, Salt. ^^"YoUi Patronage Solicited. Prices the Lowest. X. |3^™"One Door West of the Riverside House. jg^ . 0 __ ~ ' . • • • ' , . --DEALER IN The Above Cilti iw As applied to the common carry-around Gate, or panel of fence, It makes a gate that is Cheap, Strong and Durable, combining more points of excellence than any, other gate, however expensive. Any ordinary work hand can apply this hanging by looking at the cut. The cost of iron for hanging does not exceed 15 cents. Give this Gate a careful examination. It ia something every farmer needs, Farm, Town, r.ounty and State 4'ight for sale by your Blacksmith* Ageut, or * ' S. & j. SHERMAN. 10-38-6m West McHenry, ILL. Our first invoice Spring Goods, and in order to rnaks rom foi ihe Largest 5>todfe 01 Ever brought to Woodstock, or into McHenry County. elose out our Fall and Winter BOOTS AND SHOES, iie. REGARDLESS OF COST. For we must have the room. We can and will give yoil In these Goods, and it will pay you to come from all over the Country to trade with us. Good Goods at low Cash Prices. Re­ member the place, Cor. Maine Street and Public Square stock, 111. If. B. House Established 1865. Wood- w. H. DWICHT. . NAILS, MECHANICS TOOLS, CHANDELIERS, Lamps, Tin, Copper and Sheet Iron Waw. And in short,'everything in the Hardware, tove and Tin Line. HE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD. ; Call at his store before buying elsewhere. AXTD Promptly Attended Tfe M < I'< 113 , 111.,arch 16th, JOHN I. STORf. Mm mwirr ra at? Invites an inspection of his stock, all ot which will be sold at the lowest prices for cash. Remember good goods at fair Prices at < he Centerville Store. McH«xy, IU., Jon. 10,1884. F* YE® k car »' ' ; -a