Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 10 Jun 1885, p. 7

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ksin^J-MM IHK XJTTLE COAT. «yywj ib raoosr, limp as last . sparrow- of the putt ,*t! •x-Jrackles--leather Strap-- f : * I and a box of caps,-- - pHf^| Here's his rajrjrel "roundabout,'* JpMiiji penknife, lgtttotm Basted «iut with applc-jaloe; Here, with marbles, top, and strina la his deadly "devil (•ling," <£<• } With Its rubber, limp at last . •As the sparrow " Beeswax " , Ballets au^ Not a thin? of all, I pru- ss. But betrays some waywardnfa»»- E en those tickets blue a>d red, {iMtheBible-verse* said-- _ ^ A'«jes3i Wept|T *j * Tiere n flsh'njr hook-and-llne. ,y I Tangled i p with wire and twine, '* * I And tfeai angle-worms, an<1 some 1 ">t: ! Sluj»s of lead and clu wing-cum, k • #<>> ' ISient wit li scent that cm tut com# V " sf '. Fri m the oil of rhodium, I* f ; Here--a soilod, yet dainty no'e, I I , That: eome little sweetheart wrote. ; Dottinjr--' Vine prows round the stamp," S And--' My sweetest sujsrar lump"' , ; i W r a p p e d i n t h i s -- a p a d i o e k k e y " * • Where he's filed a touch-hole--seel' And some powder in a quill tl.Jfe. , Corked up with a liver pill; And a spongy little chunk Of "pank. > j Here's the little coat--but O! js'•Where is he we've eenBured so? •:• Don't you hear us callinsr, dear? Hack: tome back, and never tear You may wander where you will* Over orchard, fleld, and ni!l," , . I*" •i'-'•••»:' You may kill t:ie birds, or d<jT*^ *J * Anything that p'.eases you! K-- Ah, this cm:;ty coat of his! ;V ' Every tatter worth a k^ss! " Every stain as pure instead • ;"•* As th" white stars overhead; . r:. And the pockets--homes were tlioy . ' Of the little hands that piny *' ".< Now no more--but, absent, thus (i Beckon us. --•James Whitcomb Riley. HE "SOT ON DER FENCE.'" /r f i , . »A 8TOBY OF THE REBELLION. [The following humorons description of the battle of Hanover--the first bat- ^tle of the civil war fought on Pennsyl­ vania soil--was written by J. C. Steven­ son, of the 100th Pennsylvania (Round­ head) regiment. Hanover is a regular Pennsylvania Dutch settlement, so that the interview is not at all far fetched.] The reader will please picture to himself the cozy bar-room of the Cen­ tral Hotel, occupied by about a dozen of the citizens of the town and neigh­ boring farmers, dressed as suited their callings, in "hodden gray" or broad­ cloth, and talking among themselves in execrable Dutch, but to the stranger in excellent English. An inquiry on our Eart elicited the information that the attle of Hanover was fought on June 30, 1863, between Stuart's Confederate cavalry and the third division of the cavalry under Gen. Kilpatrick. Tho 18th Pennsylvania cavalry was Kilpat- rick's rear guard, and while halting in the streets of Havover the regiment •was suddenly attacked by the head of Stuart's column, and at first driven through the town; but rallying with tho 5th New York, drove Stuart's men back, when they opened an artillery fire. This much. had been related for our benefit by Dr. Stubbs, when one of the settlers remarked: "ttoid on, here comes old Gotleib," - > add in a few minutes we were made ac­ quainted with Mr. Gotleib Meisenfel­ der, the man who "sot on der fence" and inspected the battle of Hanover. Mr. Meisenfelder went to the bar, took a drink sociably by himself, and as he returned to the porch, looked the crowd carefully over and remarked comprehensively: "Gentlemans, how you vas?" A clear bill of health having been given, we ventured the remark: "Mr. Meisenfelder, you were in the battle of Hanover, I believe?" "Yaw, I vas dere." "In what capacity, may I ask?" ^ "Vas is dot?" "What were you doing there?" "Ach! I does nodding at.all;.shoost ~ sol on der fence?" f •"Sat on the fence?" i-J "Yah, dot is what der peoples arount here dells me; I sot on der fence all troo der war." "Was that so?" y "Yell, yah; I guess it vas; dot p pn- dil dem battle mit Honofer." "How did the battle of Hanover con­ trive to decide your opinion?" "Yell, dem rebble vellers make me dot I don't like dem at all any more." "How so V" "Pecause dey all der time vant to buy somedings mid noodings. So soon as we hear dot Sheneral Stuart come dis way we dook all the horses and a goot many of der gattle over cross der river Into Lancaster gounTy, but kept one pair of olt oxens to work mine corn. Veil, one day pretty soon I vos vorkin' mit dem oxens in dot field shoost outside der town. When I comes mit der end • o' de row I see a whole lot of vellers in dirty clothes comin' . np der road on horseback, so I got up an' sot on der fence too look at dem. Bretty ooon a young veller he rides up to me and says: " 'Dutch wat you want for dem crit- " 'EAhufcliret unt tinf dollars,'! tole him. 'All right he say; 'shooat turn 'em out here; III take 'em.' " 'But I don't want to sell dese oxens . till after harvest' I say. . " 'You turn them critters out here boody quick,' he pays, or I'll blow you full of holes,' and he pulls out a boss fistol an' p'iuted it at my head. Now, don't could stood dot; I got offul ox- cited, an' I schlapt him ober de gobb mit der ox gad c<K dot he dumbles off his hoss. Dfc^afcfer comes up an officer unt say very nice: " 'Mine lrient, you do shoost right. Dot man don't got no pizness mit your oxens.' So he dell der man to git back 'mit his company, and de man sneak off sayin' a whole lot of cuss worts mit his mouth. "Den dot officer calls up three or four Bens, unt dey shoost take down der fence und drive dem oxens out in der road.' "Ven I holler, 'vere is mine money for dem o*ens?' dot officer shoostraise his hat so polite, like dis here, unt say: " 'I'll make dot all right, my frient;' but he don't all der same do it, and I vas mad mit dem -reppel vellers ever since. "I vas offul mad as could be now, unt I sot on dot fence unt tell efery one of diem reppel vellers dot come along he vas a thief, but I guess dey know it pefore, for dey don't mind me at all. After a leetle while dey vas all gone, unt I sot dere wondering what becomes of mine cow. « ' Bretty soon I hears a tuyful of a row down here in der town, unt dere •as shooting and yellin' and all der Wimmin unt childrens comes runin' up aer hill yonder vere I sot on der fence. "What is der drubbles ? I ask dem, hut dey only schream, 'Oh I de plua vellers unt dey gray vellers is a fight- in' right in der street like shimeny gracious, unt dere is more as finf tous- and deat men all ofer town right away • jfwick.' "1 don't pelieve dot, but all der same I Bot on der fence pecause I tinks some- boddy might get hurt down dere, unt I didn't vant it vas me. . "Bretty soon dere comes up der road •ilplue officer mit six wagon loads of annon after him, He driven into mine cornfield and yells someduigs dot makes dem cannons get in one row gwick m efer vas. Then be says to me: " 'Mido frient, what der tuyfel are you doing here ?' " 'I vas shoost watchin* my cornfield unt lookin' at do3e fight. Dose vas not some harm, did it T "Then he grinnet unt said: *Oh! no, dere is no harm in dot. But I dell you a vhile, and if you don't vant your fool heat blowt off you'd petter run a mile or two and crawl in somebody's cellar.' "I told him no. and he told me again I was a fool, nut I told him dot vas all right. Den he went over to der cannon unt^began to shoot. Shimmeny gra­ cious! he make so much noise dot I bretty near couldn't hear myself think. Dose field and der other fields all around dere seemed to got full of plue sogers all in a minute, unt dey vas all shootin' unt yellin' unt runnin' some hoss races, unt I was thoost thinkin' what a pully goot place I had to see as I sot on dot fence. Bnt shoost den dem repple vellers dey got some cannons too, und shoot at der plue vellers, unt bretty soon dot hill vas all full of smoke unt cussing unt cannon balls so dot I couldn't see goot, no I raised up, youst so, on dat fence to look ofer dose smoke. Youst den somedings come along as big as a veelbarrow unt" in a bigger hurry den a locomotive, unt dook dem fence avay, ho dot I pot down so much gwick dot my head fly t'rpqgh my straw hat more as a foot. I don't like dot some pretty veil. "Dose officer mit dem Union cOntionB runs ofer uat picks me up. " 'There,' he says, 'I told you you'd get your tamn fool head plowed off." "'Nein'mine frient,' I say,'it don't vas mine heift) at all; but I don't can sot on dem fence some more mit out hurtin'.' "Several dimes dose repples came ridin' up to take dose cannon, but pe­ fore dy get close enough dey alter deir minds unt go back pretty gwick right avay, unt dem plue vellers mit der can­ nons yell after dem. 'Come on here, you infernal graybacks, unt get your wooden overcoats.' "Veil, dey fight bretty much all day, and I sot on a ieedle vagon by der can­ nons till I got tired, and 1 walk around some, but eferypody sellouts at me to go avay, unt one veller ask me vere is mine coffin, so I walk over to the other side where dose repples vas fight in'. Dere I climbed up unt sot on der fence some more again. "Here dey don't let me alone, too. Some vellers say, 'Vich side vas youns on?' unt I dell him I vasn'ton no side; I vas on der fence. Den he wants to know if der fool catcher for dis oountry bad enlisted for a brigadier sheneral, unt I told him I guess he vas, unt he told me to pull some hollow punkin offer mine head to keep mine prains in. "I don't like dem repple vellers worse as effer, so I goes to mine house for somedings to eat. Himmel, what a sight vas dere! Der volks vas finf miles away, unt dem repples vas shoost mak- in' demselves right at home. Dey hat eat eferydings that vas cooked uut sto!e eferydings that vas not, unt dey vas killin' der shickens unt pigs unt havin' a tuyfel of a times, so dot I don't like dem repples worse as efer. But when I dell dem dis vas all wrong dey shcost laugh at me, so I sot on der fence unt schware some at dem, but dey could beat me at dot, too. "Yell, while I sot on der fence think- in\ I hear a great cheer in' like der Fourth of July, unt found der schootin' had stliopped. Der next I know der vas no Johnny repples in mine house or yard, for dey vas runnin' right away gwick as never vas across der fields as if der constable vas after dem. Den in oue more minute der place vas full of der plue poys, but they didn't sthop runnin' after der repples. Directly dot officer . mit der cannon vagons comes along and holler: "'Hallo, young fellow! You're not killed vet, eb ?' "1 said, 'Nein, I vas shoost come down here unt sot on der fence to see what vas going on, ain't it?' " 'Well,' he say, 'all I've got to say is, it's p beastly waste of iron unt lead to throw it around where ynu are.' "Unt I told him, "Yaw, I guess it vas.' "He den say, 'I'd like to have a lot of soldiers that scared as jou do.' Den he ohook hand mit me unt rode away. Dot vas a nice man; but I nefer see him again, unt der paltle of Hanofer don't come back any more."--Riveraide Enterprise, Detroit. Flashing Fire From His Scarf-Pin. A lively young man with a red mus­ tache entered a Nassau-street eating- house and took a seat. He wore a black neck-scarf, into which was thrust an odd looking pin. A pretty waiter- f jirl came up, and while brushing away he crumbs from behind the guest asked for his order. "You may bring me some Boston baked " The young woman did not hear the conclusion of the sentence, for a bril­ liant light flashed from the odd scarf- pin and frightened her so much that she nearly fainted. Tho young man glanced up ^jith a look of mi!d sur­ prise, and said: "Are you fsfint?" The waitress hurried off to the kitch­ en. The head of the house, a man whose scanty grav\liair and full beard are well-known to those who attend the up-town temperance meetings Sunday afternoons, then next approached. He put the pepper bottle back in the cas­ ter, picked up a doughnut from the floor, and was about to make an obser­ vation upon the superiority of his squash pies, when the fire again flashed from the young man's scarf-pin. "What--wha--what is the matter with your neck-tie ?" he stuttered, look­ ing at the young man in a startled manner. "It was on fire just now." "O, I guess that's all right," mur­ mured the latter, with a smile. "Any trouble with it now ?" "No, I can't see that there is, bnt n The fire again became luminous and shone with a brilliancy never equaled by any diamond. "It's an electric light on a small scale," said the young man. "I have a little battery in my pocket. By prest# ing a button a current of electricity id conducted to the pin, which contains a small piece of carbonized bamboo, and the light is produced. Big thing, isn't it?"--New York Tribune. Compulsory RcIIirlonin College. Dr. McCosh, of Princeton College, is quoted as declaring that a great crisis has come in regard to the higher edu­ cation of the young men of America. It is now to be determined whether prayer and religious instruction are to be kept up, and also whether students are to be at liberty to take any branches they choose. "The fight," said the President, "is only begur, and will con­ tinue these years, and Princeton, with its trustees, professors, and alumni, wdl take part in the contest"--Troy Telegram, PITH A1P FOIST. First it is a dress suit, then a lover's stiit, and then marriage; after which comes the lawyer's suit, and proceed­ ings wind up with a suit lor divorce.-- Exchange. "Her waste is enormous." "Well, then, why don't you get her a pair of corsets?"^ "Oh, you don't understand inc. x^oiiiiug call hi»v her exi.r»v:i- SCIENCE. And u qu ek ;is a w uk She s .t dr.wn \ o st nd v ustronomy. --"njrfo'i Sunday Court*'/'. The sparrow is the toughest and pluckiest bird of its siae »in the world. One half of his time ho devotes to courting and love, while tho other half is consumed in hunting up a living for his little wife and still smaller chil­ dren. Many a man can learn wisdom from the sparrow.--Chicago Sun. "Yes," said Mrs. Jones; "when my daughter was born I swore I would make her a lady when she grew up, and I have kept my work." 'indeed," said Mrs. Smith; "has she married well?" "No; she is still single." "And you have made her a lady, you say ?" "Yes, a saleslady."--Boston Courier. "I'm down on roller skates," said a young lady while with a parly of friends the other afternoon in the candy store. "Yes, I noticed you were yes­ terday when I saw you at the rink. You seemed to be down most of the time." And then all the sprightly sisters of Eve giggled at their innocent sister.--Yonkerx Statesman. A story is told of a shrewish Scotch­ woman who tried to wean her husband from the dram-shop by employing her brother to act the part of a ghost and frighten John on his way home. "Who are you ?" said the guidman as the ap- paration rose before him behind a bush. "Com awa', mon," said John, nothing daunted. "Gie's a shake o' your hand. I am married tae a sister o' yours." Barky Sullivan, the Irish tragedian, was playing in "Richard III." seme years ago at Shrewsbury in England. When the actor came to the lines: •'A liorec! a horse! My king lom lor a horse!" some one in the pit called out: "Wouldn't an ass do you, Mr. Sulli­ van ?" "Yes," responded the tragedian, turning quickly on the interrupter, "please come round to the stage door." "We want a broken pillar of white flowers. Sonrethin' pure and consolin'," remarked a customer to the florist. "How would this white dove suit you?" "First rate. Give us a couple. Perch 'em on the coffin and point their bills up, religious like. You know how." "It must be terrible to lose an innocent child," remarked the florist symxjathet ically. '"Who's lost a child?" replied the customer savagely. "If Bill Scrap heard you call him an innocent child he'd smash your eye. Bill wasn't inno­ cent enough to hurt him any, and don't you forgit it."--New York Graphic. pat's medicine. "I think I'll drink Some iron for my bloo-1; Jt'Bfrocd I've uuderstud," Savs Pat. • . ' ' :' "Hi id jet. Little midget. What uoyou think of that?" Says Pntrick he To Bridget, she, 1 "How eun you drink Iron?" says Bridget unto Pat. "Sure, I'll inilt the Iron," says he; "remem­ ber that." "Milt it! How'll ye dbrlnk hot irdt}, thin, yeu t'ule?" cays she. -~> "Sure, I'll wait a Lttle and lot the iron cule," savs he. --Chicaoo Sum Oct in Xenia, Ohio, there is a bright lawyer, There is a score of them, in fact, but this bright particular legal star is Henry Warrington. I call him Henry Warrington because that is not his name. His real name appears on the playbills of "Youth." Well, the Second Adventists came to Xenia one time and the prcacher did a power of street preaching. One day Lawyer Warrington stopped to listen to him just at a time when he was wanted in court, and a bailiff oame to the window to call him. The preacher was just shrieking: "And who will be damned ? Who will be damned ?" Roared out the stentorian tones of the bailiff over the way: "Henry Warrington! Henry Warrington!" And Henry only said he would be if he was. Only he didn't say it just that way.--11. J. Burdette. THE SLEIGH BELLE. Hear the sieigii balle, how she chatters Willi her bi-nu! How she chatters, chatters, chatters, Of immmerab e matters. While the horse's heei bespatters Her with t now : Sec the slctali belle with her lover! How tiiey loel Like a pair of c.ilts in clover, '• h s ewect s.eijrh belle and her lover Undernea h the dainty cover Of the seat 1 See the p:; pie stand an 1 stare At tli;- belle. As with loosely flowing: hair And a sm:lo beyond com are, She is speeding through the a r With a swell. . * Oh! such weather suits for riding; Thonsih 'tis roturh; . And the sleijih tioile loves the gliding, And such merry, merrv Klldinjr, And such inerry, merry sliding; With her tlftceu Angers hiding In her muff. --Bloomington J'antagraph The Tramp's Outlook. ® Soon shall 1* lie upon the pleasant sward, and feel the apple blossoms blow down on me in sprays of pink and white. I shall hear the birds making love on the budding limbs and carrying the straws from yonder meadow to make their cozy nests. And at night I shall crawl under the hay-stack and fall asleep, looking at the twinkling stars and hearing breezes rustle among the vines and cattails. A draught of nature is the best draught out when you can't get any other. How sweet, on a fresh, bracing morning when Phopbus is getting in her biggest licks, to steal down the per­ fumed meadow and purloin the milk from the unsuspecting cow! Therefore I shall hang my boots upon my staff, and start for the country just as soon as the winter passes and the poet begins to take headers down the editorial stairway. How my heart goes out to nature in all its varying forms and conditions! I love an autumn landscape, with cows in the brook, and a hunter in the background lookiug down the barrel to see if it is loaded.-- Puck. ' X:;. '•> Healthfulness of Hammodia. Beds are occupied night after night, year after year, by divers persons in sickness and in health, in summer's heat and winter's cold, and as to when bedding is remade and purified each one can judge by his own experience. Compare this with the use of the South American hammock, which only re­ quires a stout blanket inside, and in winter a woolen sleeping dress as well of suitable make periodically washable. The sanitary difference becomes at once startling to those who have never con­ sidered the subject before. Never count on the favour of the rich by flattering either their vanities or vices. [CH, The "Hock moicr,*' a new Vienna In­ vention, consists Of an air-tight furnace, whose fire is fed by compressed air; water is injected into the resulting gases of combustion, and the resulting mixture of steam and combustion prod­ ucts--called "air steam"--is led di­ rectly into the engine. There is thus' +i,„ ;n ... Then la Trouble in Store For those who neglect to rectify fpegnlaritlea at the stomach, liver and kinds, whldt th^r toed-1 frhly imagine will "codte r|Rht ot them&vea." Of this silly error such persons u« usually disa­ bused by the development ot some serious chron­ ic malady, traceable to what they were pleased to consider a trifling disorder ot the above-named associate organs. Such al culmination is easily avoided. A coarse ot Hostetter's Stomach Bib- fV.-- ^ icucwiuk lOQ with this arrangement are pronounced in the highest degree satisfactory. Tlie machine, of six normal horse power, developed 12.23 effective horse power, with a consumption of coal of 'J. 2 pounds per hour for each effective horse power. By this process, which is in general use in France, two pieces of horn can be joined together so pefectly that they will appear as one piece. The pieces of horn are first heated before a fire, and the edges where they are to be joined carefully scraped until they fit together exactly. Tne workman then takes a pair of pincers, previously heat­ ed quite not, and, after moistening the edges which are to be joined, presses them together firmly and quickly. If the operation is skillfully performed, a perfect joint wijl result, and after the edges have been dressed smooth with a fine file and polished ~&ith tripoli and water, it will be hard to tell where the two pieces are joined together. ; By means of electricity tae most at­ tractive leather surfaces are now com­ pletely imitated. The leather which it is desired to imitate is first well cleaned and coated with graphite, as in electro­ plating a smaller article. It is then placed in a copper bath, the tank of which is large enough to easily receive a skin of any size. A dynamo-electric machine generating a pbwerful current furnishes the electricity. The copper is deposited upon tho coated surface of the hide to a thickness of one-sixteenth to one-eighth of an inch. The plate thus formed reproduces, but reversed, every mark and minute vein of the leather, so that a print taken from it is an exact copy of the original in every detail. Investigation shows that by mixing the vapors of water and of naphtha, at the temperature at which steam is pro­ duced, the hydrogen in both is set i ree, ready to be used in producing the most intensely hot flame known to science. The degree of this heat, as asserted, is shown by the fact that while one pound of alcohol has a heat-making power, say equal to nine, hydrogen has a heating power equal to forty-seven--more than five times that of alcohol. While it is admitted that as much energy is re- required to separate the hydrogen and oxygen in steam as is produced by their combustion, it is claimed that a large part of this energy manifests itself in a different form from that of heat. An improved kind of belting bond is now made in Russia of the best quality of flax, the cost of production being from twenty-five to sixty per cent, lower than that of leather belting. It is said to be unaffected by changes of tempera­ ture, stretches but very little, is thoroughly waterproof, is as durable as leather, and, being without the ob- {'ectionable joints and splicings of a eather belt, it runs straigliter and truer. The unusual strength claimed for this belting is said to result from its being folded in a peculiar manner, this fact also accounting for its stretch­ ing so little. It is rendered waterproof by an entirely new process, known only to the Russian Government--the pe­ culiar character of this process giving it, it appears, a most effective grip of the pulley, and, however long it may be used, this quality still remains.--Ex. A Mind Infection. V In the year 1855 I commanded a ship bound from Hong Kong to Melbourne, in Australia. We had on board 500 Chinese passengers (not coolies), and two cabin passeugers, which, with my­ self and wife, officers and crew, made a total of 550 souls. A few days' sail from Hong Kong one of the passengers was taken down with the regular small­ pox. Here was a truly deplorable situation, for probably not one of the Chinese passengers had ever heard of the word vaccination. I immediately resolved to steer for the English colony of Singapore, where there was a hospital, and where I could land my sick passengers, after which I would remain a few days in order to ascertain whether any more cases would break_ out. I placed my. patient in a room &s' far removed from other patients as I Could, and only the steward and myself were allowed to care for him. The., carpenter of the ship seemed to have the most intense apprehensions about contagion, and dreaded the disease so much that he avoided in every way possible the cabin where the passenger lay sick. When we arrived at Singa- Eore, I had the patient removed to the ospital, and when 1ve lowered him* ever the gangway into the boat, the carpenter went to the extreme point of the bow so as to be as far from con­ tagion as possible. After remaining as long as was considered sufficient for the safety of all concerned, I set sail for Melbourne, but a few days out the carpenter was taken down by an attack of a mild form of small-pox. I landed him at the quarantine in Melbourne, and not another person had the disease or any symptoms of it. Now, did not that man's fears predispose him to in­ fection, or perhaps actually produce the very disease of which he was so afraid? It was certainly very remark­ able that, of all the 550 persons on board that ship, he should have been the only one to suffer.--Letter in Bos­ ton Transcript. * None in Chicago. "And who was Diogenes, papa?" said a boy to his father. "Diogenes, my boy, was an eccentric individual, who used to light a candle in daytime and walk to and fro through the thoroughfares of his native city, and when anybody asked him what he was doing, he would teU them that he* was looking for an honest man." "He would have to hunt around Chi­ cago for a long time before he would find one, wouldn't he, papa?" "Yes, even with the great illumina­ tive advancement,of our age, such as gas and electric li^ht, he would proba­ bly never succeed in ferreting out the object of his search. Not here, my boy; their home is not here?"--CbH Pretzel'* Weeklu. For the Victims of Alcohol. Dr. Foote's Health Monthly says the following recipe for the cure of drunk­ enness, or to assist in overcoming the appetite for alcoholics, is going the rounds. It is: Sulphate of iron, 10 grains; magnesia, 40grains; peppermint water, 44 drams; spirits of nutmeg, 4 drams. Dose, one tablespoonful twice a day. healthy digestion arid assimilation,jaii£ render^ Inn the haAttof body'j>«rfectly re^tAar. Th4 activity of these all important functions being restored, and the entire system toned and regu­ lated by this incomparable corrective and invig- orant, no danger to the general health is to be apprvfcewled irom v which, if ni6t iradi- oated ia litne. Will assuredly ondcrmiue it, , Jk •• : *--- Chinese Women. Yau Phou Lee gave a very entertain­ ing and instructive lecture in John Street Congregational Oliurclij his sub­ ject being the "Chinese Women." The iecturer, a young man, dressed in the conventional American attire, held the close attention of his hearers, and proved himself to be a person of no mean attainments, who speaks the English language understandingly and with proper inflection. The Chinese woman, he said, is not in all respects so strange a creature as the American people have been led to believe. While, by comparison, she possesses certain defects, she would, under similar Cir­ cumstances to those which surround the American girl, develop similar characteristics. Her birtli is generally regarded as a disappointment because she was not of the opposite sex. The lecturer said that the crime of infanti­ cide, the destroying of female infants, has been greatly exaggerated, still it cannot be denied that boys have the preference. It is expensive to marry off tho girls, but the boy can support his parents in old age. The mother's heart beats as warmly for her offspring in the Orient as in the Occident, how- over, and the crime of infanticide is not due to tho want of a natural affection, but to abject poverty. The trials cf the Chinese girl, especially if she is to be n fine lady, begin when she is about 5 or G years of age, at which time preparations are made for the compres­ sion of the feet. Various accounts are given for the origin of this custom, the lecturer favoring the theory that it originated in an attempt to imitate arti­ ficially the small feet which ^n Em­ press possessed. He estimated that the proportion of the Chinese women who suffer from this deformity is about two-thirds. He argued that the cus­ tom has its advantages and disadvan­ tages. By it the Chinese is woman more completely brought into those subjective conditions for which she is destined. It is a custom upheld by tho women, only tolerated by tho men because it is a custom. Its disadvan­ tages are serious, one of the chief of which is that the woman is debarred from that physical exercise which is essential to health. The education of the Chinese girl is very limited. At the age of 10 or 112 she is confined tb the company of her own sex, and at tlib age of 14 or ^5 her parents begin to make arrangements for her marriage, in which she herself has no choice. Engagements are often made for girls while they are yet infants. Go- betweens make all the arrangements, love has nothing to do with the mar­ riage, neither does adaptability. Thus the contracting parties have not them­ selves to blame should the marriage prove an unhappy one. The lecturer thought it a question if parents in America have not too little* as in China they have too Aiifch, to do with their children's marriage.--Lowell Courier. Throw Away Trusses and employ tbo radical, now method, Rnar- anteod to permanently cure the worst cases of rupture. Send two letter stamps for ref­ erence •, pamphlet, and terms. World's JDls* pensary Medical Association, 8(13 Mainstroet, Buffaio, N. Y. Never judge a man's character by his po­ litical reputation. "Her face so fair, as flesh it seemed not, " Bat heavenly i>ortrait of bright angel's hue, Clear as the sky, without a blame or blot. Through goodly mixture of complexions due. And In her cheeks the vermeil red did show. This is the poet's description of a woman whose physical system was in a perfectly sound and healthy state, with cyery function a: tinier properly, and isWfo <mviSbl«<'onditi<>n of its fnir patrons produced by T)r. Plereel "favorite Prescription." Any druggist. When you receive a not© from your lady­ love, and kiss it (as, of course, you aro ex­ pected to do), why is it like the nightmare? Because it is the ink-you-buss. Important. Whon you visit or leave Now York City, save Hiig^age Expressage and Carriage Hire, and •top at the Grana Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot: NX) elegs.nt rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduced to $1 and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the best,. Horse cabs, stage,and elevated railroad to all depots. Fami­ lies can live better for less money at the Grand Union than at any first-class hotel In the city. Or corset is tight lacing that gives som woniei^ such a stayed app urauce. Opting anil $umm** Diet, ^ Green fruit and bad vegetables, which are particularly plentiful at this season of tho year, almost Invariably disorder the stomach and superinduce cramps, cholera morbus, and what is wors?. diarrhea and chronic dys­ entery. People who desire to preserve their health should be exceedingly careful about their diet at this season, and at no time should they bo without, a supply of'Pkbuv Da vie' 1'ais KII.t/fea, thife safest, surest, and speediest remedy for all troubles of the stomach or bowels. All druggists sell it. "Pat up" at. the Gautt House. The business man or tourist will find flrst- class accommodations at the low price of $2 and $2.50 per day at the Gault House, Chica­ go. corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class. " Hoyt & Gates. Proprietors. Cucumbers. The cucumber is a peaceful-looking vege­ table, but has been the cause of a vast amount of intestinal horror. The man who lies awake at nl^ht writhing In pain with a stomach fullof undigested cucumbers wishes this harmless-looking enemy of the human race had never been invented. But oven for the colic and cramps which the mi-?chicvous cucumber bringson, speedy and certain relief Is found In Pekky Davis' Pain Kili.ek. Jfor Bronchial, Asthmatic, and Pulmonary Complaints, * Brown's Bntmflini Troches" manifest jre- mark able curative properties. boeccs. sold only in " The Poultry Keeper" of Chica­ go Is pronounced the best poultry Journal In the country. All of the leading poultry breed­ ers indorse it. It has now a circulation of 100,000 copies monthly. If you want to be up with the times, read their advertisement In another column. For dyspepsia, indigestion,depression 6f spirits, and general debility in their various forms; also, as a prev< ntive against lever and ague, and other intermittent fevers, the " Ferro-Phosphorated EJi.tir of Calisaya," made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., of New York, and sold by all druggists, is the best tonic; and for patients recovering from fever op other sickness it has no equal. It is estimated that 100,000 die yearly from • Consumption! Many fall victims through their own imprudence. A better remedy than ALLEN'S LUNG BALSAM, for effecting a perfect cure, cannot be found. Physicians i are recommending it. What is the difference between an old bachelor and a pretty girl? A pretty girl steals the hearts of others, and a horrid old bachelor "steels" his own. The Frazer is kept by lasts as loaf af tweoflTany dealer ottoe* V? box If afflicted With Sore Eyes, use Dr. Isaac Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell It. 29c. Life in the Finis Sewen to poteftlo, fpr a short time, to tM robust, ouft the majority of refined persons would prefer immediate death to existence in their reeking atmosphere. How much more re­ volting to be in one's self a living sewer. But this is actually the cade with those In whom the inactivity of the liver drives the refuse matter of the body to escape through the lungs,bieath, the pores, kidneys, and bladder. It is astonishing that life remains in su h a dwellintr. Br. l'icroo'o v.ji > . covery" restores normal puritv to^b"* I Bto fe a fast color, when it te used In part­ ing towns. > • W. H. Worthington, editor of the "Patrons of Husbandry," published at Co­ lumbus, Mass., writes trader dnto or T<ff»- j ruary 25, 1882: "Your great remedy, Allen's ] Lung Balsam, I havo used in my family for * fifteen years for coughs and colds, aud know It to be tho best." i M WARMER'S TIPPECANOE BEST THE Vf [cOPYRIONTtDj. B L O O D tfltete is variety ia ihe" Mrs. Lydla E. Pinkhsm, testtt„ cures effected by her Vegetable and the great relief afforded to 1 women in all sections. Mrs. C--vof "Monto, sayf: "1 have taken three bottles wftJl very gratifying results." Mrs. Stephen B---, of Shefflngton, Quebec, says: "I am now using um> luurtu DiiUiv auu uave uvrivea great eHT v , ui c.uge&e Cltyf Oregon; says: "It is the best medicine for the female sex I have ever found." Mrs. C , of Santa Fe, says: " Your Compound has done me a great deal of go d." Mrs. H. 8. D , of Portland, Me., says: "It has done for ma all it claimed to, and I eheerfuilyrecommend it to ali suffering as I have done." Mrs. D. H. E , of Lexington, Va., says: "I have takea one bottle, and I assure you I feel a great deal better. I feel Ktmnga* nrr, and I've never lelt a pain in my lack since the second dose." WILL CURE Dyspepsia, Liver and KIDNEY Complaint IT 13 THE TRADE MARK ' £ ' ri": SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. H. H. WARNEB & CO , Rochester, K. Y. FOR ALL STOMACH DISORDERS. $1.00 JEL. BOTTXiB. H. H. WARNER & CO., Rochester, N. Y. Rev. W. 8. BRATHWAITE, Red Bank, N.J.. was etircd of dvftpcimia ami other ptumach disorders by Wuucrs Tippecamok, T1m> B#st. FOR I N D I G E S T I O N , UNEQUALED. $1.00 JSK. BOTTIJII. H. H. WARNER & CO., Rochester, N. Y. Hox. f>. D. S. I!ROWN, Rochester, N. Y„ URfd War­ ner's Tii'VFCanok. Tlio Host, for stom:vli deraili;O- nimita. im l was antomnheU at tlie good it did him. \VANTKIV-HOMESTF.A1 >S In Northern Kansns V* not proved ui>. Write C. Knapp, Beatrice, Nt h. AGENTSC RIEKFTS0-'WANTED A LIMB LOST ̂ ANE!ABC)01& \Vttto to Or. LeltOY, ll'.i Madison bt., ClUak^o, UL "" NEW BEU'-USSXRt'CTOR IS"DOrKtC-EfcTOT . 1UH >K- Kl KI'IN<i sent on fecHpt of 25c hi stamps. AS. CM.M 'K, 141 Ffr.-t Ave., New York. « And Health Restorer, A perfect renovator and invigorator of tho system, carrying away all poisonous matter, and restoring the blood to a hea Ithy condi- tion, enriching it, refreshing and invigorating both mind and body. As a cure for RHEU­ MATICS It hns no etjual. SAFE, SURE AND SPEEDY In all cases of Indigestion, Biliousness, Con­ stipation, Headache, I oss of Appetite, Piles, Neuralgia, Nervous disorders and all FE­ MALE COMPLAINTS, IKopsiinit >1V1,T Hitters* never fails to perfect a cure when properly taken. THOIiSANPS OF CASES Of the worst forms of these terrible disease* have been quickly relieved, and in a short' timo perfectly cured by the uee of Hops, and TI AI/r Kit tore. Do not get Hon aad ."*1AI/1' confounded with other infe­ rior preparations of similar name. Take nothing but llopsi and JI41 /I"\ All druKRi-ts keep them. None genuine unless manufactured by HOPS & MALT BITTER3 CO., Detroit. Mich. hlne Hnfcic Cared la M day*. No par till cares* Stkphkxs. Lebanon. Ohtak OPIUMS B/WDUNIFO Re*mlfuUy Illustrated Catalogue it Bajid and Cowr* Ukipobms. 30 col«rt4 fatbion Uliutr&tions ud prtc«i Hal*. Oap*, Pourbe?, lMt», Drum Outfits i'ampon?, Plumn. Shoulder Knots. Gold Cord and I .arts, ttuttont* Ornaments, Band and Procts- Ft:ur? and Banners, Cap Lamm, etc. Maiiejrn*. LYON A HEALY, Chicago DEDERICK S HAY, ftYC' * A CANCER USE TELEBMMY I VALKNTLNfc PATENTS Treated and cured without the knife. Hook on treatment Bent. free. Address F. L. POND, M.l>„ Anror I. Kane Co., 111. "Klretollcan Balm" to Develop the MttsciKn to ntiy Size. By mail, 91. T. W. Donovoh, 1 •-!<! HrewsterKt.,Detroit,Mich. Taught and Situation* FlirillwlHtl. ClSCVLAUNFKEa. iillOs.. Janeitvlll*-, Wis. Hand-Book FREE. It. S. & A. I'. I A« I.V, Pat< lit Att'ys. WuNhitV-'tnn. 11.0. MOlU HINUHnd CUI.OKAL HABITS KASILY Cl'UKD. BOOK i'KKK. I>r. J. t\ Boli­ vian, JefFersoU, WlapAn^n. R. U. AWAKC THAT Larillard'E Olimax PLUG bcarlnea rf<i tin to<r; that Lorillanft BokI * " ' * Navy Clipping*, and that Lortllard's Kuufla, are the boat and cheapest, -- " " L" S S l ANDQRO: J O N E S : (i 1 i ];cn| uenfflnocut; that Lorlllard'i d that Lorlllnrd'g 8i ~ quality considered ? 3 T O N WAGON SCALES, AN» JONES h« tfc* frtlfhl--for trfi lMr* Llti mention thl» nap«r ana tJJ-. JONCSOMINGNAMTON, liinshamton, !S,V0 He Who Becomes a Treasurer of Money for Another Is Respon­ sible for a Safe Return. Htlmneh more responsible Is he wbe baa M id 1 BCENTR ehariri* the health and lite of a human being. We liavi' considered well the responsible In iiretiuriiitf our ALLEN'S LUNG I SAM.whieh for twenty-five years has been vorably known «* one of the beat and purest remedies for all Throat and Luna Diseases, we are particular to use nothing but the best Ingr6- dients. NO OPIUM in any form enters Its com­ position. It is to your interest to stand by the old and tried remedy, ALLEN'S LUNG BAL­ SAM, aud see that a bottle is always kept on hand for immediate use. ItKAD THE FOLLOW- ""flEW EVIDENCE: ( ' AoDiboS. Pa., April 7,1883. I took • violent cold and it settled on my lunsra, »o nin -h so that at times I spit blood. ALLEN'S LUNG BALSAM vas recommended to me as a good remedy.. 1 look it. and am now sound and well. Youru respei'ttully, A. J. HILEMAN. AnnisoN, Pa., April, 18K3. A. ,1. COLBOM, Esr|., Editor of the Siitairnet Ut rnld. writes: I ran recommend ALLEN'S LUNCi BALSAM as beintt the beat remedy for ColdB and Coughs I ever used. Astobia, Ills., April 6, ISSi. GentlemenI can cheerfully say your AT.I.F.V'H LUNG BALSAM, which 1 have soi l for the past fifteen years, sells l>etter than any cough remedy, and fives general satisfaction. 'Tin frequently recommended by the medical profession here. Yours truly, H. C. MOONEY, Druppist. La Fayettk, It. I., Oct. IS, 188t. GentlemenAllow me to say that nfter vising three bottles of ALLEN' S HTN(i BALSAM for a had attack of Bronchitis, 1 am entirely cured. I aeud this vol­ untarily, that those afflicted may be benefited. Yours respectfully, BUBRH.L H. IJAVIS. i.H. HARRIS & CO, (Limited) Props, CINCINNATI, OHIO. FOR SALE by all MEDICINE DEALERS. •'V'M PRESSES. the customer keeping the one Order on trial, address for circular and location Of Western and Southern Storehouses and Agents. K. DEDERICK A CO., Albany* N. V» , m- mi wife," *;&<•> * The bkst truss in the wobuk : "• The most modern in desiifn. ""* 1 ^ . live best adapted to form ot body. Perfectly eai-y or adjustment by patient* « Impossible to tit it wrong. The only truss suited for nil occupations. Hillings passnbovo trip-joint, alio wing perfect Iri, ilisiif limbs, and treeing the spine entirely Irom pr^ssote. Will hold absolutely uni/ cas ' of lttipture, no mat­ ter how never*), i'rice, Sti.OO. 8ei:d for circular and be convinced. Truss mailed pottage free. LYMAN A: JEFFREY. Buffalo, N.T. tin Exquisite Pleasures AfforM If Family Reunions. In this broad land, teeming with a wealth of natural resources and advan­ tages, there is a lnmeniable tendency lor families to become widely separated as its members arrive at maturity. It fre­ quently occurs that a mother must travel a thousand miles or more in order to visit her several children and their fam­ ilies. The exquisite pleasure afforded by a family reunion is, alas! too seldom enjoyed. Not always is it convenient for sons and daughters to leavo their homes and little ones to gather around the old hearthstone. Would that th» custom could more frequently be in­ dulged in. On many occasions illneea in the family is a restraining cause. Too often the monster disease enters an otherwise happy home, despoiling a parent, afflicting a child. Our duty to> ourselves aud to our little ones demand* that we make good health the one grand study and object of our lives. A ter­ rible master is disease, insatiable and unrelenting. At first with deceptive, alluriug ways he gains a foothold, while' his victim muimurs "it is nothing only a little pain, only a feeling of wear­ iness, only a slight disorder," un­ til eventually disease assumes complete control. Fight the monster in the start! meet him at his first approach!! bv us­ ing DR. GUYbO'IT3 YELLOW DOCK AND SARSAPARil.Uk. will make you feel fresh, the blood will be made pure and circulate with more vim. Sores and pimples will dis­ appear, the urinary and digestive or­ gans will gain strength, and perforin their functions without pain, while robust health, strength, freedom from aches, etc.. and happy content be the result, and longevity your reward. ; , r ! - * - m in I in Is « V ' * i < v = ; i I)B F00TE's Original METHODS ? 4 " "" OF '1 sjt' HOME V CURE' A! II CVCC Made New without doc- OF ULU bILu tora.iuediciie»rgl8sses PypjU Cured wnbo'toperation , or uucomfortab.e trua Dlliuncrc Cared wittiont cutting; rmmuoio new painle»s,aafe,»ure NERVOUS AWJFC rT etc . onai treatment.« Five nun nil in •!' kmd*-linnUIV I Use-called "incurable." dddMM Pf• E» B»FOOTB,>ex TM,X.Y»Cttfr C. N. U. No. 24-85 * V * " WHEN WRITING TO A» *» vleaae aay yoa mw the a In tbia paper. C1ETTV w« will «nt» j«<a awa. on our .uWriptlon boeM «.« mSm nt»| rUlf r 8Ir I T l jgni • " '-r•- -- i-- --• *""*•• -•t-- niiiai iWI Mid fat fen taraediatrlr t>y sealed mail mm BaaMiwd a»*»lpt to mt et Um following prmata: Tht Llat of Presmts fe bo Olvon to our MMerlboni 10 F.S. Gov't Bond* OSOO each ....$5000 I , 1 Cadi Prlxe II.!s(irrfBb'tM. fSOO encji........ 5000 | c 1 Nickel pltd ^ .*•; rT,r>" 100,000 PRESENTS! TuiArrcswjwr xmuul Everybody who sends as directed gets a Present worth frea SO csnli t» tMMO. Tho propritton of THE POt'LTRY KEEPER, beinf dosirouG of bavinf air--dy M>d pipila ptMrl vrkleW b«i sow a b«u lie rlrtiltllw of ever 100,000 topie*, more widely dtcnliUd utd iotro4u*4 into 1mm I not already known, have doterminod to throw off all profit on the subscriptions, knoiri&f w!l that wlNB ftMa JmthI nMhn| 300,000 *ob**rib«r«. the advertiainf pr.tronafe will p*y for the inducement* w* oSfer, if Bot, vill a WrMftM] for the sole purpose of increasing the 10 10 ! .!•>. (irreib'lM, $iOO each lOOO 1 ensh Prize lOOO 1 Mckel *lt4 CtlnMt Bicycle... 1 CmdSeaaN Plaae 1 €S(aa4 CaMaet Orcan.. THIS OFFER ) Three-scat Rockaway. 1 Silver Dinner Service, 5 Top Bi^fiee, 20 U. S. Oreet*eek» rf #50 omIi, MOO ivtomik A3%wMl I #3 each. 2 Village Carta, 1 Pony Phatoa. 1000 Pocket Silver Fruit Knivee, 1000 Qeota' Poekel KaivM, WOO V. $. Cheoteb I of $1 each, 10 Genu Gold Watchea, Enel>«h Moretnent; 10 LadiM HolA WatdbM. Rii|l»«h VifMttt; tOBaya' Silver WaMbtt* [ Amertcao Movement; fl Solitaire Diaoiond Finger Kiafa. t Patent Harvester*. 3000 Klefaat Art Com, ft tear flUk Jailer f ~ Fornit ure, 1460 Gi ld Finger Rtn^i, Ladies' Breaat ^ins, Genta'Searf Pine, Loekea, Faaa aad Chain*. an£ 92.421 otdMr ptm •ataed from 20 cents to 11. mikes a grand aggregation of 100,000 praaaata, thaa guarantee% fraaaat la aaek aai i eaberrlfaer who sentla us &0 renis. Al! rf the above present* will be awarded in a fair and impartial manner. Preeenta will be teet to aay part af <jt j TTntted States or CannJa. No pottage will be asked from any subscriber to forward preaeat*. Tho SO I Which you send aslatbe refaiar priaa for aya^satibfCTnpUon. and titerefare we chart* aotiuac tor the preaeat. Ova Faatf I be in your futur* patreMgaand^he iMUMid rata «e will gee ft r <mr advertiaiag apass. TOUR IvBSCtlfllOK FftflE. I Gat five of your friends to yotn yea by cutting tais out and showing it to tkaau Send a* 98.BO aad wa wiB aaad «• I THE POULTRY KKEPKR for one year, and one numbered receipt for each of yov aafcaaribere* and aoa extra for year treaM* | RsBDrsa trartnui WIT* $0.00 and we will tend you 1A aubaerlptlons aad 13 racakpla. ft Soaackiaaas and AlO.OO end we will send a paper and re«»pt to earfc of roar aabtcribera, tad a ba Aliualnam Gr4d Cased Watch to von. The watch is worth 010. Caa be traded tor double thia amoaai. will held cood niitil August 15th <>niy, so we woul^ advtaa ali cf our friends to forward mbet*i'u<iaaa al I an early dat^, as in no ca?e w.ll they he ifceived litirtkan August lMh THS COl'LTtT KCIFttfO I tte beat and ablest edited Poultry Paper in the country, and already ha* a circulation of KtMOO evptes, aad to itaal f pletad thedistributioo ol 10v,00vpr*»enu to its fir*t lOC'.OQO sub&mbar*. It awxtauos aixteen pages, baaattMiy j and talis bow to make poultry par. No pMtpoanccQt. I r flft CTCU unuhiuri wATPUK CDCC Inowler that wa may positively kW what papers par us tta L 9UU v I llm" vV mUlll w ff AlUnCO iIiLm publisher haa bought 500 Stem-winding Watwbary Wetc&ec, a*l| theae &00 Watches will be given away to the fir»t frXi petiple who answer thia advertisement and five us the na.*n« of f ~ paper where they uw the advertiaetnant. If you s^nd us eaats you will ba amtitled to oae of tfc«e old, weil krwwn a reliable w«tche* and aae reertpt good for oae |)re«eat« This offer is honafida aad will be cwmed out tv lector. S * Mnni TOY IfCCDCQ I« well establishe»i, having already 100i,UU0aab5crttvir«. aed is backed byawpita rUULini HUTCH th^t every oue ot oar subscriber-* may ba»«ra of getting what we pwiawt. li ioald not afford otherwise. We will nend a rented Hat of the Awards free, aad all preecnta will be *vi-.*arded ?a I they nay direct. OUK OLD TAXU0NS i!iD SUfiSCKIBkftt ckaald $v to work atoucaand heipaal d and renerttus offer. SMura TBB rortTST KIKPZR jmtm>4«m*4?t««i*»M| , . , Oii» oumb»r ©f th# pap«r b wortk tbt ftttbaerifdua ptia*. I nAaMM. m >^ftr tka-- trho * Imam ut to any Ban* or Jfnrantilt Agmg. . I aa«--««• Pre--at» topureub.cnbera, Kiven to them absolutalr **•••. PT^tfiSS l MtaST M79 iw aft! « a>> mf »n< in uordinarT latter at c»r rak: UrfOT nuu Wml kf SwaMjl I r<JKo<«. Ui4 iJdrMd k> THB POULTRY KBBPCIt, SO W--<0»tl Ofc, miim.a. receipts u;ey may airect. i-iu tat ONILY* SO CENTS rWuMM. m tke-- trko St mm kmmm m

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