Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 1 Jul 1885, p. 7

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O RIGHT! O NIGHT. Bow bright Jehovah's c ai pet! Sp<en<?Id hour! Complete With glorv--all my Milay Way Puhnac eternity! Man upward looks; He loora, and upward alms; and ca.m-eyed beaeta That aleep not, bare tliy go'den deep tor dreams I Lo L most miserab'e of the flesh. Proclaim within me thi obbinge of the liplit From yonder stars. Fcr 1 have something e tar-like JeaJouBiy sen ineled, and lcashel with heart­ strings, Wh ch, when the heavens throw their portals wide, To pay thre, Night, thy corf monial, 5 • l'ecrs 'orth on eac 1 familiar gn a*y AS f (hose bercons buri:etl for its re'ur% And as 1 lav my head at rest, each eve. Thine oft-r.currinjr mandaie to ober, O Night! i feel my prisoner more glad, More con'd nt of his release. Alas! Why breakJ my soul FO quickly from mf kf ep? Why yearns, alas, my tody for my soul! Alas, whv does my quivering- form belio Its wi eched doom wh n I upsend m ieoyes! O Night! forgive.my corp:.r.<l delight! Forgive my l odv'stnvv of my soul! Make my p:or flesh and blood like calm-eyed beast V And let me have thy golden deep for dreams. --John McGovern, in the Current. ZJIVIXG AND DYING. John Smith was eke a goodly man As ever lived on earth- lb e wor d admired and loudly praised His truly pious worth; His lite was full of churity And fr< e fr.un i-inful pridp-- But scarce had l ved to thirty-fK|to|- • When one ca m t ventide A mulo kicked at him »la\ fully, * And Smith scon afltr died. John Brown, a knave of deepest hue, Dweit in the Felf same town-- Ajgrosscr, meaner vi er scamp •There never lived than Brown. "i • He cursed, he swore, he smoked, he chewed, • 'He t-vc n keno played, And down in Texas > cars a?o • > ^ Thev sav a man he Blaye.l-- s Yet he lived on contented.y ' • Ar:d lots of money made. TD1. tii ally, agrayhnirtd man, Jcbn Hrown 'uy down to die-- His wife and thi dren gathered round-- A preaclu r linserin*.' nigh-- The only token of his death A quiet, gentle sigh. We'd like to live as did o'd Smith, Revered by all the town-- But wi:en it comt s 10 dying, we'd Prefer to die like Brown. CAPTURED BY CANMBALS. BY THOMAS W. KNOS. PART I. In many ways the world is rapidly becoming prosaic. The age of chivalry was gone long ago, if we may believe a celebrated writer; steam has destroyed the romance of the sea; the mystery of the unexplored regions of Africa ex­ ists no longer; the maelstrom is a myth; the sources of the nile have been visited and described, and even the sea-serpent has fallen before the searching gaze of the star-eyed science. The Car of Juggernaut, which once crushed hundreds of victims in its an­ nual processions, now remains harmless in its temple; the cremation of living widows'at the sides of their dead hus­ bands is rigidly prohibited through the length and breadth of India; and the King of Ugnnda can to-day receive a distinguished visitor without slaughter ing a dozen countries in his honor. The horrible fascination that clings to the cannibal and the story of his per formances is greatly circumscribed, as the labors of missionaries and the Bpread of commerce have demonstrated that man can be put to better uses tban to be served up for provisions. But the cannibal still lingers in some parts of the world, though hd is only to be found by those who seek him with great diligence. Within the memory of those of us who have not yet passed beyond middle life the inhabitants of the Feejee Is­ lands were noted for their habit of de- Touring the bodies of their enemies, and also, under certain circumstances, those of their friends; since missiona­ ries and merchants were established there, and the Island became subject to Great Britain, the British prejudices have prevailed, and the practice is now confined to a few benighted tribes of the interior. When the missionaries began their teachings the natives gave ready approval to the Scriptural injunc­ tion, "love your enemies," but they were disappointed to learn that it had no ref­ erence to the love of a gourmet for a can- vas-back duck. Tanoa, the old ruler of the Feejees, and father of the laie King Thakombau. had a palate so delicate that he could distinguish between the English sailor or the French one when served at the table, and he could even name the people of the different islands of the Feejees group when a slice of each was placed before him. An ac­ quaintance of mine claims to have had a narrow escape from being the piece de resistance at one of Tanoa's ban­ quets, and of being taken to and into the royal bosom. He told me the story one day when we were sailing over the Pacific, and wondering if the good old times of the cannibals would ever come again. "I was on a whale ship," said he, "that was cruising in the South Pacific and had put into the Feejees for water. The ship was old and leaky, the cap­ tain was a tyrant, the mate a brute, and every sailor on the ship was ready to desert at the first opportunity. We had a chance to go into one of the groups where there were no cannibals, but the captain knew that if he did there wouldn't be a man of us left. His only hope of holding on to a crew was by having them choose between the eliip and the natives who would eat them up. The most frightful stories •were told about the practices of the people, and not one of us would venture a yard from the beach where we landed to get water. We kept the natives at a distance, and made them understand that while we would leave plenty of trinkets and old hoops on the shore to pay for tlio water, we wouldn't go near the little creek on the beach unless they staid a good way off from it They had no canoes, and so they didn't bother us by trying to get on board. "One afternoon a party of us had gone ashore to till the last of the casks; the mate was with us and it was one of his ugliest days, for he kicked us about as though we had no more feeling than the boat or the ground we stood on. Because 1 didn't please him about something he struck me with an oar, and then I struck back with my fist and downed him. The rest of the men Enlled me off, but they didn't pull very ard. as they were all right glad to see the ftllow pounded at Inst. When they got ns apart I saw what I had done and knew the mate would have his revenge on me as soon as we got to sea again. I thought it all over in a second, and in my frenzy concluded I might as well be eaten by the savages as beaten to death by the mate and thrown over for the sharks be/ore we made another port. "I turned and went straight to the bushes where 1 knew the natives were watching us. I just said 'Good by, to my shipmates and nothing more. They yelled for me to come back, but I didn't turn nor stop. The mate started after me, but he thought better of it and wheeled around before going twenty yards. "In five 6r ten minutes I was in the middle of a group of natives who were armed with spears and clubs, and had their bodies streaked and painted in a hideous way. They wore no clothing except a strip around the waist, and more than half of them could not boast as much as that. They tore oft my clothes, and then examined my limbs exactly as a butcher examines an ox to ascertain his condition. One old fellow who seemed to have some sort of au­ thority over the rest pinched my arm till I almost screamed with pain. The fact that I didn't screem seemed to im­ press him favorably, and at a word from him I was less rudely treated af­ ter that. I wasn't a particularly good prize, as the bard fare on the ship had made me pretty thin, and my ribs fair­ ly stuck out so you might count 'em. I saw they disapproved of me, but prob­ ably they reasoned that half a loaf was better than no bread, and so they took me along. "Three of the nativ.s escorted.me through the tropical forest while the rest remained, probably with a view to making more captures if opportunity offered, or to gather up whatever the ships crew should leave behind in pay­ ment for the privilege of taking water. We did not stop till we had gone a couple of miles back from the shore and ascended a hill. Through a rift in the trees I saw the boat return to the ship with the water casks, and in a lit­ tle while the anchor was raised and the old craft sailed out of the bay and stood away to sea. I was alone with the can­ nibals. "We waited for the men who had staid behind and as soon as they joined us the march was resumed. A little before sunset we came to a village of thatched huts, perhaps twenty or thirty in all, in a sort of irregular circle sur­ rounding an open space; in the center of this space was a raised platform over which was a thatched roof elevated on posts about ten feet high. This was the council hall where all public busi­ ness was transacted; it served as a lounging place by day and also as an hotel where strangers could be lodged at night. The sides of the structure were entirely open when we arrived, but in less than a quarter o fan hour the buiPding was completely inclosed by strips of wide matting stretched be­ tween the posts. I was made tounder- stand that I must remain in the council hall, and to make sure that I did not run away two of the natives were con­ stantly at my side, or, rather, one was constantly at each side of me. They brought me some roasted bread fruit and roasted cocoanats, gave me a mat to lie on and another for covering, and while never relaxing their vigilance to ward me they treated me with kindness and respect* • PART II. "I didn't sleep well, you may be sure, and what sleep I had was disturbed by unpleasant dreams which seemed to foreshadow ray fate. But wh'en wak­ ing I consoled myself with the reflec­ tion that I should have been no better off had I staid on the whale ship and been subjected to the mate's cruulties. In the morning lhey fed me again with bread fruit and cocoanut, to which was added a fish which had been roasted over the coals and was really very good. The whole population, men, women, and children, came to look at me, and after a good deal of jabbering, of which I could not under­ stand a word, but which evidently re­ ferred to me, two of the men started through the forest in a direction oppo­ site to the one whence we came. Then the conference broke up. but for the rest of the day 1 was an object of curi­ osity, For three days I was kept a close prisoner and on the morning of the fourth was taken through the woods by a winding path, perhaps twenty miles, to a large village, where hundreds Of natives were assembled as if for a ;rand festival. The village surround­ ed an open space of at least an acre in Bxtent. At one end of this space was a mound or platform, perhaps eight feet high, ana in front of the platform was a stone that loo&ed like a large gate- cost. Old Tonoa and his principal of­ ficers were sitting on the mound just behind the stcne; the natives, armed with their clubs and spears, were scat­ tered over the level ground and wait­ ing for the terrible ceremonies to be­ gin. "I was led to the foot of the mound, xhere half a dozen other prisoners, their hands and feet securely tied with ^ords, were lying on the ground and at a word from the King I was similarly bound and placed by their side. The crowd opened so as to make a lane from the stone to the' other end of the plaza, and that began the terrible cere­ monies which preceded the cannibal feast. "Fires were burning at the rear of the mound, and I could see the smoke raising in feathery curls from at least a dozen places. Tanoa waved his hand as a signal that all was ready, and im­ mediately several athletic fellows stepped from the crowd, two of them seized each prisoner and carried him about fifty yards away from the front of the mound and then placed him on the ground again. All my fellow vic­ tims were natives, and, as I afterward learned, were captured in a foray upon a neighboring island. "It was the custom among the Fee- jeeans in cannibal days to devour their prisoners of war and those killed in battle. Tribes often went on the war­ path solely for the purpose of obtain­ ing victims to be served up as food, very much as in other lands expedi­ tions are organized for hunting deer or other wild animals whose flesh is edi­ ble. The crews of wrecked ships or boats were always killed and eaten; they were regarded as the gifts of Providence, and the people of)en be­ sought their gods to send tbem a wreck that they might be provided with food. This superstition regarding those who were unfortunate enough to be cast on their shores was more firmly fixed in the minds of the cannibals than any other, and they clung to it after re­ linquishing their claim to make war in order to eat those whom they captured. "A conch shell was blown as a signal for beginning the slaughter. One of the prisoners was seized by his two custodians, who each grasped an arm and a leg and then ran rapidly along the line till they dashed their victim's head against the great stone I have de- scribeJ. Then another and another was disposed of in the same way, and carried off to the rear of the mound, and my turn had arrived! Horrible as was this mode of death, it was, after ail, a merciful one, as it was unaccom­ panied by torture. A single blow against the stane and all was over. "I had been lying on my back, with my head turned to one side during the dispatching of my companions in cap­ tivity, and, with my experience as a sailor, had managed to work loose the knotB that bound my hands, but I did not remove the cord. My executioners seized me in the customary manner, and started on their deadly mission. As they did so the.v doubled my legs under me so that the knot around my ankles touched my hands. Instantly 1 unfast­ ened the cord, but still held hands, and feet as closely together as though the lashing were secure. And now for the grand stroke which would save me! Suddenly I gave a violent spring with hands and feet that threw' my bearers to the ground, as they were to­ tally unprepared for anything of the kind. I went to the ground with them, but was up in an instant. We were not six feet away from the foot of the execution stone, and the head of one of my late bearers touched it. "With the agility of a cat--for I was a great deal younger then than now-- I sprang to the top of the mound and right in front of old Tanoa. I flung my arms wildly about and then dropped on the ground at his feet. I afterward learned that he thought I was invoking the vengeance of the heaven on him for the great peril I had passed through, and my prostration was to indicate that he was the greatest of terrestrial sovereigns. I really had no thought further than to ask that he would spare my life, though I had counted upon the dramatic effect of my having re­ leased myself from my bonds and stood before him. "A wild shout went up from the crowd, and the king sat as thongh he had never been more surprised in his life. If I had been dovrn by the stone I should have been finished off in a minute, but at the feet of the King I was safe until he ordered otherwise, as it would be highly improper for the warriors to mount the platform while his majesty was there. The seconds seemed like hours while I waited for the King's decision, which he" finally gave: " 'The dead are dead, and shall be eaten ; the white man shall live.' "The bodies of those who had been killed were cooked and devoured; I was allowed to go about wherever I pleased, but was always accompanied by two warriors. They offered to show me the ovens, but I had no liking for the horrible sight, and indicated my desire to get as far from it as I could. Besides my ineffable disgust, I was fear­ ful that the King might change his mind, or that some of his subjects might take upon themselves the task of executioner and dispatch me without the royal leave. But I must do them the justice to say that from that time on they never manifested the least de­ sire to harm me. "I was sent back to the village where I was first taken after my capture, and became the slaves of the chief, but my slavery was of the lightest sort. I was treated more like a companion than a servant, possibly for the reason that as the Feejeeans can practically live with­ out work there was very little work to do; I learned a good deal of their lan­ guage, went with them in the forest and in pursuit of fish, and loitered around the council-hall when there was nothing else to do. "I lived there nearly a year, and if I could have been assured that there was no danger of being slaughtered and eaten I should have been perfectly willing to stay among those people the rest of my life. They were unwilling to have me leave them, and twice when ships came in for water they hurried me away from the coast to make sure that I did not escape; whether they desired my society or were actuated by the fear that I should tell about their customs I never knew, but certainly they tried by every means in theii power to prevent my leaving them. "In course of time they grew less watchful, and I occasionally went off by myself for a few hours without ex­ citing suspicion. I always went toward the coast, but invariably took a cir­ cuitous route; when in sight of the sea I scanned it carefully for a sail, and if none was in sight immediately retraced my steps to the village. Toward the end of the year I did this every day or two, or as often as I thought it safe. I generally returned with a bunch of bananas or a cluster of bread fruit, so that my absence was ostensibly in search of food. "One day my heart came into my mouth! As I looked through a rift in the trees a ship was standing into the little bay where I had my fight with the mate and threw myself into the arms of the cannibals. Away I went down the path as fast as I could run; luckily I didn't meet any one, and went at such a pace that no pursuer could have caught me. Out I came on the beach just as the anchor went down to the sandy bottom; I looked back and thought some of the village people were coming. I didn't wait to make sure of it, but plunged in and swam off to the ship. "It was a long swim, and I was near drowning, but I got there all right and was hauled on board. The captain heard my story, then ordered me to be dressed and set to work, and I went to work with a will. He was a rough, blunt, good-hearted man from New Bedford; his mate was pretty severe with the men, but a vast improvement on my old one. All's well that ends well, and I have nothing particularly" to regret in that eventful residence in Feejee. I afterward learned \hat my former ship went dowu with all on board a few weeks after I deserted her and so my escape to the man-eaters was my salvation."--Chicago Inter Ocean. - The Stove-Metre Rank. - It has been commonly supposed that men owe their dignity and grade in life to their heads rather than their heels; but here is a "Blue Grass" native who says it isn't so in his State. "Yes, sir," said the Kentuckian, as they sat by the Btove, on whose top gracefully reposed the pedals of that individual, "you kin tell a man's rank in this State tliusly: If you see a man with his feet on the top of the stove, he's a Gineral; but if his feat is on that rail about half way up, he's a Kernel; and if he keeps them on the floor he's a Major." • "Ah, yes!" said his companion. "That's good so far as it goes. But how are you going to distinguish a Captain or a Lieutenant?*' "Stranger, we don't go no lower than Major in Kentucky."--The Eye. The Cochineal Industry. The cochineal is a larva which feeds upon the pulpy leaf of the cactus, and in the natural state looks like frost or mold. The people of Guatemala care­ fully scrape them off into gourds, and the cells being full of purple blood they make a liquid of the deepest color, For 200 years these bugs were the base of dye stuffs ail ore* the world, and thousands of people were engaged in their cultivation. HE that gives good advice builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both, but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other. BURGLARS have been finding out lately that there is a good deal of dan­ ger in a safe robbery. A SINGULAR BOOK. •elntUlattag with Sarcasm ua Brilliant with Truth. iNew York Cor. American Rural Home.] Chap. I. "Has Malaria;" goes to Florida. Chap. II. "Overworked;" goes to Europe. Chan. III. "Has Rheumatism;" roes to But. Chap. FV. Has a row with his doctor! The above chapters, Mr. Editor, i find in a i good deal of money together dealing in book recently published by an annoymoui ! furs. author. I have read a deal of sarcasm In my j u" • j , day, but I never read anything equal to the I , married a pretty young woman, of sarcasm herein contained. I suspect the ex- j whom he was very fond, and if he had perience portrayed is a personal one; in | had a happy home, full of healthy boys °"w ?evcr "Malaria," as it states, is the cloak with An Old Fur-Dealer's Work. Nearly a century ago a queer, stooped, weazened little man, shabbily dressed and carrying a green baize bag, full of papers, in his hand, was one of the most familiar figures in the streets of Philadelphia. The wealthy mer­ chants began to point him out as a poor young Frenchman, who had scraped a Which superficial physicians cover up a mul­ titude of ill feelings which they do not un­ derstand, and do not much care to investi­ gate. It is also a cover for such diseases as they cannot cure. When they advise their patient to travel or that ha has overworked. have heard of him, But his young wife soon became violently insane. He placed her in an asylum, and after that his home was limited to one bare room, scantily furnished with an iron cot, desk, and single chair. "When the yel- or of inability. The patient goes abroad. The change is a tonic, and for a time he feels better. Comes home. Fickle appetite, fre­ quent headaches, severe colds, cramps, sleep­ lessness, irritability, tired feelings, and gen­ eral unfitness for business are succeeded in due time by alarming attacks of rheumatism which flits about his body regardless of all human feelings. It Is muscular--in his back. Articular--in bis joints. Inflammatory, my! how he fears it will fly to his heart! Now off he goes to '•the springs. The doctor sends him there, of course, to got well; at the same time he does not really want him to die on his hands! That would hurt his business! Better for a few days. Returns. After a while neuralgia transfixes hiin. He bloats; cannot breathe; has pneumonia; cannot walk; eannot sleep on his leftside; is fret­ ful; very nervous and irritable; is pale and flabby; has frequent chills and fevers; ev­ erything about him seems to go wrong; be­ comes suspicious; musters up strength and demands to know what is killing him! VGreat heavens'." he cries, "why have you kept me so long in ignorance?" ^Because," (aid the doctor, "I read your fate Ave years ago. I thougnt Itest^lokeep you comfortatle and ignorant of the facts. He dismisses his doctor, but too late! His fortune has all gone to fees. But him, what becomes of him? The other day a well-known Wall Street banker said to me. "It is really astonishing how general liright's disease is becoming. Two of my porsonal friends are now dying Of it. But it ia not incurable, 1 am certain, for my nephew was recently cured when his physicians said recovery, was imposssible. The case seems to me to be a wonderful one." This gentleman formerly represented his government in a foreign country. He knows, appreciates, and declares the value of that preparation, because his nephew, who is a •on of Danish Vice Consul Schmidt, was pro­ nounced incurable when the Itemed}', War­ ner's safe cure, was begun. "Yes," faid his father, -'1 was very skeptical, but since tak­ ing that remedy the boy is well." I regret to note that ex President Arthur is said to be a victim of this terrible disease. He ought to live, but the probabilities are that since authorized remedies can not cure him, his physicians will uot advise him to save his life, as so many thousands have done, by the use of Warner's safe cure, which Gen. Christiansen, at Drexei, Morgan & Co.'s. told me ho regarded "as a wonderful remedy." Well, I suspect the hero of the book cured himself by the samo means. The internal evidence points very strongly to this conclu­ sion. I cannot close my notice of this book better tban by quoting his advice to his readers: "If, my friend, you have such an experi­ ence as 1 have portrayed, do not put your trust in physicians to the exclusion of other remedial ajiencies. They have no monopoly over disease, and 1 personally know that many of them are so very 'conscientious* that they would far prefer that their patients Should go to heaven direct from their power­ less hands than that the}' should be saved to earth by the use of any 'unauthorized' means.". And that the author's condemnation is too true, how many thousands duted, and yet rescued, as he was, canjpersonally_testify? "The Yankeeismo." It is commonly and rightly believed that citizens of the United States are not popular in Mexico, though nearly all are wrong in regard to the cause of the supposed dislike. It is supposed that the Mexicans dislike us because some years ago we took part of their territory. . A Frenchman is, however, in high favor in Mexico, in spite of the fact that France but twenty years ago tried to take the whole of the country. The Frenchman is liked by rich and poor, by educated and ignorant alike, while the average American is liked by none. The reason is that the French­ man there is always a gentleman. Like the German, the Italian, and the En­ glishman, all of whom are also liked, he enters the country thoroughly im­ pressed with the idea that the country belongs to the Mexicans; that they have a right to be just as slow, as igno­ rant, and as peculiar as they please. The Mexican papers often talk of Yankeeismo. It is useless to deny the existence of such a thing in Mexico. The American bristles with it at every turn. It consists in a feeling of infinite superiority which is never at a loss for a way to show itself. Its milder mani­ festations are a supercilious, arrogant air, impatience with the native's slow­ ness and lack of familiarity with our business methods, and general con­ tempt for everything that is not up to our ideas of progress. In its grosser form Yankeeismo is a feeling that the whole country really belongs to the United States, and that it is only a matter of a few years at most until Ve shall possess it, and that in the mean­ time it is in the temporary possession of a set of barbarians are entitled to no consideration frofft the real own­ ers.--Correspomleitce New York Even­ ing Post. t Association of Odors.. The sense of smell, by detecting bad odors, may enable us to guard against danger to our health. It may also ex­ cite pleasurable emotions and recall the associations of younger days. "The smell of violets, hidden in the green. Pours ba k into my empty soul and frame The time when I remembered to have been Joyful and free from blame." An instance is on record of a lawyer whose delight was to get within range of a farmyard. And why ? His childhood had been spent amid the sights, sounds, and scents that sur­ round the farm-house; and so the famil­ iar ammoniacal exhalations carried him back to the green fields and rustic pleasures of his youthful home. The writer himself met with» an in­ dividual whom the noisome smell of sulphuretted hydrogen gratified and pleased. His explanation was that many of his happiest days were spent as a student in a well-known chemical laboratory, where certainly that smell prevailed 4o an unusual extent. A French author tells us of a young lady who loved beyond all perfumes the smell of old books. Perhaps, with affectionate solicitude, she had been the constant attendant upon some old bookworm of a father or guardian, and hence the leathery mustiness took her back to days when, quietly happy, she seemed to recognize in the dusty tomes living and trusty friends. Many a person sick in the city has been carried back to the simple days of youth by the odor of apple-blossoms. The past comes back again in the odors that live in memory. * A Tax Computer. An instrument is now in use in the California Secretary of State's office by which the taxes on any amount can be told from a small <aum to a million of ia probably suffering ; iow fever broke out in the citv, he went from malaria, it is a confession of ignorance ^ the his ^'fe lay m with it, stayed with her until she died, and then, leaving all his wide commer­ cial interests, remained in the hospital to uurse the victims of the plague. This man's name was Stephen Girard. He was hard, grasping, and cynical, but his heart held a tender warmth for the children who had never come to him, and he left his great fortune to found a home for orphan boys. He carried out his peculiar ideas in his plans for it. Nothing in the buildings or in the teaching was to be a make­ shift or sham. The very roof of the house must be of solid marble. The boys were to be taught to believe in God, and to lead upright lives. He did not aim to fit them to be educated gentlemen, but educated workingmen. Girard College is a noble building of Greek architecture, which stands, with a village of its surrounding dormitories and halls, in the suburbs of Philadel­ phia. About five hundred orphan bovs are fed, clothed, and trained in it. Within the last year an industrial school lias been opened in it, in which the pupils are taught mechanical arts. In some of the best private schools of this country, also, an hour each day is given to the use of tools, the con­ struction of machinery, weaving, print­ ing, and other crafts which "teach the boys the use of their hands." The rules of the trades unions have limited the number of apprentices received into the trades, and hence these wide, honorable roads to competence and fortune are in this country filled with skilled workmen from Europe. The industrial schools at Girard College" and elsewhere are intended to fit Amer­ ican lads for the same work. ' There is no prouder feature of Amer­ ican life than the institutions like Girard College, the great polytechnic school at Bethlehem, the Peabody In­ stitute, Cornell, and Johns Hopkins Universities, and other costly schools, founded and endowed by men who have amassed fortunes by their own labors, for the education and service of boys as poor as they once were.--Youth's Companion. Tke Care ef Children. BOSTON, MASS.--A leading medical journal thinks it is about time mothers should know how seriously the health of children is imperiled by the nse of prepa­ rations containing morphia and opium, and given for the cure of colds and coughs. The chemist of the Brooklyn Board of Health, Otto Grothe, Ph. D., a graduate of the Uni­ versity of Kiel, Germany, certifies officially that recently a harmless* and yet effective article for such complaints has* come to his notice. He refers to the newly discovered Bed Star Cough Cure, which he fosnd purely vegetable. Farms on the Baltic. A more beautiful farming country does not exist than that along the southern shore of the Baltic. No fences mark the boundaries of the fertile farms which stretch away over the rolling hills to the distant horizon, all aglow with yellow grain. At intervals a clump of trees, often seen intensely dark against the ripe grain, shows where a farm-liouse stands, and giant wind­ mills swing their sails on the highest hill-tops. The highway, a finely built chaussee, leads straight across the coun­ try, only curving to pass through some village. Mountain ash, birch, and cherry trees border the road in an unT broken rank. In the ditches and by the roadside grow countless varieties of wild flowers--a perfect paradise for the botanist. From the highest hill the eye meets to the south a succession of- grain fields. To the north, beyond the soft undulations of the cultivated hills, the Baltic shimmers in the strong sun­ light, a narrow line, sharp at the hori­ zon. The dimensions of the brick barns prove the accustomed magnitude of the harvest; the luxury ef the farm­ ers' houses tells of inherited success. "Love Sees No Faults," it has been said; but, when a woman Is dragged <iown, emiuiated. wan, and a Shadow of her formei- self, with never a cheerful word, she can be no longer beautiful or lova­ ble. Nature may have been generous in her plfts, and en.lowed her with all the charms of her sex, but disease has crept in unawares and stotal the roses from her cheeks, the luster from her eye, and the sunshine iroin her heart. But to be well again lic.< in your own power. Take Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription." It will cure you; thousands have been cured by it. Nothing equais it for all the painful maladies and weaknesses pe­ culiar to women. 1 rice reduced to one dollar. Uy druggist^. CARE may kill a cat, but a boot-jack sent with proper precision is more speedy in its action. THE MODEL THEATER. * • * A NTSCASSOF so deHeate a aattne as stricture of the urethra, should oalybe In­ trusted to those of large experience and skill. By our improved methods we have been enabled to speedily and permanently cur* hundreds ot the worst cases. Pamphlet, r«f- erences, and terms, three letter itamMk World's Dispensary Medical Association, sea Main street. Buffalo, N. T. DON'T undertake 10 Jciss a tunens wowtMl risk not a smack n a storm. When on the Htgti San, On the rail, on a steamboat, aboard a flshlng smack, or yachting on the coast, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters will be found a reliable means of averting and relieving ailments to which travelers, mariners, and emigrants are peculiarly subject. Sea captains. Ship doctors, voyagers, or sojourners in the tropics, and all about to en­ counter nnacclimated, and unaccustomed or dangerous climate, should not neglect to avail themselves of this safeguard of well ascertained and Ions-tried merit, Constipation, bilious­ ness, malarial fevers, indigestion, rheumatism, and affections of the bladder and kidneys are among the ailments which it eradicates, and it may be resorted to not only with confidence in Its remedial efficacy, but also in its perfect tree- dom from every otiject onable ingredient, since it is derived from the purest and most salutary sources. It counteracts the effects of unwhole­ some food and water. Burnum in an Emerges^. "Oh, yes," said the old ringmaster, scratching a match on the sole of his shoe, "Barnum was always prepared for emergencies." And we thought we heard a chuckle, but it might have been the pipestem rattling against his teeth. "I remember one occasion, in par­ ticular, when we had pitched our tents at a large town in Connecticut. Barnum came around the first night as usual before the performance, and found the Sacred Bull stretched on the ground." " 'Dead, hey?' remarked Barnum. " 'As a coffin nail, sir,' replied the keeper; 'cholera, I take it.' " 'Send a man for that bull we saw two miles back here. The Great and Only isn't going to fall short of sacred bulls in a cattle district like this.' "At that moment a man came up and observed in a business like way, 'The monkeys have pulled all the fur off the rabbits; snatched 'em regular bald- headed.' u 'Put them in a separate cage and label them from the ruins of Pompeii.' "'All right, sir,' replied the man, 'but wiiat are we to do for drome­ daries ? The stock's running low and we've advertised that lot, big.' "Barnum tore a leaf from his diary and handed him the following memo­ randum, with the order, 'Put a blanket on the horse that went blind yesterday, and tack this on him in a conspicuous place.' "The following is what the man read: * Notice: The hump usually found on this dromedary has been absorbed as nutriment; it is expected out in a few days.' "Yes, Barnum had large ^resources, and the ringmaster solemnly contem­ plated the wreaths of smoke as they rose into the ambient air, and with feelings of awe we stole silently away, loath to disturb his reverie.--Clyde, in New York Judge. IT is as true to-day as ever that the ruling passion is strong in death. Dan Mace, the famous driver, is reported to .have given utterance to this metaphor when lie found he was nearing the end: "I have turned into the home stretch for the last heat of my race, and I am close to the line." Similar was the re­ mark of the California stage driver who had embarked for the last journey with death hoi ding the reins: 'SBill,'" said he, in a hoarse whisper, to a sym­ pathizing comrade, "I'm on the down grade, and--I can't rea *h the brake." THE great diaphoretie and anodyne, for colds, ievers. and inflammatory attacks, is Dr. Pierce's Compound Extract of Smart- Weed; als j, cures c;:lic, cramps, cholera mor­ bus, diarrhueu, and dyatntery, or bloody-iiux. Only 50 cents. & HE that is familiar with curtain lectures may not a lvocate stage effects, but he is eertainly in favor of the drop curtain.-- Yonkers Oaxetti. Important When yon visit or leave New York Otty, save Bagtcage Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite Orand Central Depot: BOO elegant rooms fitted np at a cost of one million dollars, reduced to $1 and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the best. Horse cabs, stage, and elevated railroad to all depots. Fami­ lies can live better for less money at the Orand dollars without making a figure, and I Union than at any first-class hotel in the aity. Work can be done bv almost any one . ,, . r, , , . x . - The jackass would not hide iu8»,cara If hs whl«h heretofore has required the ser- He thinks they look w^ enough.-- •ices*of an expert in figures. v New OrUatu Picayune. it is Located In Chicago, and McVicknr's Is Its Name. IFrom the Chicago Inter Ocean.] The work of reformation at MeVicker's Theater has been so quietly conducted that most people will be surprised to find how radical it has been. While the two upper stories were buildiug to the public view, the interior of the theater was un­ dergoing the reconstructive process which has made it one of the most delightful au­ ditoriums that may be found anywhere. From stage to dome the remodeling nml redecorating has been carried so far that. %ith the single exception of the balcony sweep and the supporting columns, nothing remains to suggest the old auditorium, and these will not be recognized as fam­ iliar because of the novel surround­ ings of which they have been made a part. One of the most important alterations, one that will not be perceived by the majority of the patrons of the house, was the eleva­ tion of the gallery ceiling by several feet, by means of which that portion of the house has been made as comfortable as any othm- part. This was done in conformity with Mr. McVicker's idea that all patrons of his house should be entertained agreeably and without Buffering unpleasant annoyances, whether they paid $1.5(1 for admission or only '25 cents. For the same reason he has furnished to every portion of the house, gallery included, separate retiring rooms for ladies and gentlemen, and stationed a water fountain for the supply of ice water upon every landing. These attentions, to­ gether with the seating arrangements and the unique plan of ventilation intro­ duced, will certainly tend to make this theater a model in the care of patrons. The ventilating system referred to is rather com­ plicated, but it may be sufficiently ex­ plained in a few words: By a series of ducts and revolving fans the air, which has first been purified by passing through a filter of charcoal and gravel, is conveyed to the top of the building and forced down­ ward into the auditorium through large in­ duction tubes. The air is not only forced in by pressure, but it is drawn downward by suction of fans located beneath the au­ ditorium and carried oflf through innumer­ able exits at regular intervals about the house and under the seats. This keeps going a continuous supply of fresh, pure air without creating a draft, and prevents the dust and refuse particles of the floor rising into the atmosphere to be inhaled. In winter, by the same process, heated air will he supplied. It may be well to state that boilers, furnaces, and all tire appli­ ances have been removed from the theater building to one across the alley, and as all the lighting will be done by electric burners, there is no danger by fire to be apprehended. Nevertheless, as a further precaution against any possible contingen­ cy, a heavy twenty-inch fire wall has been built underneath, dividing the stage and auditorium spaces, so there is no chance for a fire to spread in that way from stage to auditorium. But if there are timid ones who tliink even these measures insufficient to reassure them, they will find consolation in the fact that the auditorium has been so arranged that each one of its seven aisles leads directly to an exit, and that each exit opens straight upon the street or alleys. There are twenty-three exits of this de­ scription throughout the house. Mr. McVicKer feels satisfied that this will be pronounced the model the iter of the country, and, in order to have that said by the profession as well as by the public, he has made the improvements behind the stage conform with those in front. Aijeneial invitation is extended to peo­ ple living outside of the city to inspect this model theater when visiting Chicago. Here the play can be enjoyed with a feeling of safety by ail lovers of first-class drama. "Put up" at the (isult House. The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations at the low price of S3 and S'-!.50 per day at the Gault House, Chica­ go, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located iiuthc center of the city, only one block from trie Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments tlrst-clj>ss. «HOYT & GATES. Rrourietors. Aa a Cure for Sore Throat and t'ouglis, Drown'* Bronchial •< Tracht*" have been thoroughly tested, and maintain their good reputation. I have been bothered with catarrh for about twenty years. I could not tell how many different remedies 1 have tried, and none seemed to reach my case like Ely s Cream Balm. 1 had lost my smell entir-'ly for the las-t fifteen yeurs, and 1 had almost lost my hearing. My eyes were getting so dim 1 had to get some one to thread my needle. Now I have my hearing as well as 1 ever bad, and I can see to thread as fine a needle as ever I did. and my smell is partly re stored, and it seems to be inn roving all the time. I think there is nothing Ike Kly's Cream Balm for Catarrh.--Mrs. E. E. Grimes, 67 Valley street, Hendrill, Perry Co., Ohio. FOR DYSPEPSIA, iroioEsnoN, depression ot spirits, and general debility in their various forms; also, as a previntive against fever and ague, and other intermittent fevers, the '• Ferro-Phosphorated Elixir of Calisaya," made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., of New York, and sold by all druggists, is the best tonic: and for patients recovering from fever or other sickness it has no equal. It If* Ihm^crouN to tamper with irri­ tating liquids and exciting snuffs. Use Ely t Cream Balm, which is safe and pleasant and is easily applied with the finger. It cures the worst case of Catarrh, Cold in the Heau and Hay Fever, giving relief from the first appl - eat on. All druggists have it. Price 50 cents. By mall 60 cents. Ely Bros., Owogo, N. Y. GtouNROfOY Rheumatism,^uraigia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache, ••re Thr--t,SwflUBi».»|>r»l««.Bnilm, Barns, Fr«*t Site*, I*D ALL OTHER BODILY PAIKS ABB ANNS. •oWbjr DrvctftUftTii everywhere. PUty C«&tisa Dir^tions in 11 Lnnfn»*««. _ THE on AttLEB A. VOSELEB CO. V,V;EI,ER*CO.> Salaam,ML,C.S.A> BITTERS. IT IS THD BLOOD PURIFIER # HEALTH RESTORER. It never fails to do its work fn cases of Mala* rla, Blllouanesa, Constipation* Bead" actie, loss of Appetite and Sleep, Nmoas Debility, Neuralgia, and all Female Complaints. Hope A .Valt Bitters is a Vege» ta ble Compound. It is a Medicine not a Bar­ room Drink. It diflers as widely as does it v and night from the thonsand-and-one mixture* of vile whlaky flavored with aromattea. Hops & Malt Bitters is recom­ mended by Pliyalctans, Ministers and N ursea ns being the Best Family Medicine ever compounded. Any woman or childcantaksit. "From my knowledge of its ingredients, under no circumstances can it injure any one using it It contains no mineral or other deleterious sub­ stance. Possessing real merits, the remedy is leserving success.' C. E. DEPCY, Ph. O, Detroit, Midi. The only Genuine are manufactured by the HOPS & MALT BITTERS CO.. Detroit, Mick Taught and Situation* FurnUhed. CIRCULARS raax. :NT1NK. HROS., Janesville, Win. Morphine Habit Cured in IO TELEGRAPHY | VA1.KNT1NI OPIUM IO!_ Dn. J. STEPHENS, Lebanon, Ohio. The most lieantiful anil finest toned in the world. Low price#, easy yxw tiient. Send for catalogue. Address Weaver Onfan A: Piano Co. York,Pa. PATENTS Hand-Book FREE. I ft I M I K. 8. & A. F. I.ACE*, QUICK! Patent Att'ys, Washington. D.C. wiles*, hi* raone;' and *t#ady work for either MI, NO traveling, no talking. $1 sample* free. Smart men and women average *70 per eek. G. B. Merrill & Co. Chicago LADY AGENTS employment and good salary •elling Queen City Bktrtaaa StookinifSupporter*.SampU outfit tree. AadreM ClndnnM Suspender Co.. Cincinnati, O. R. if. AWARE THAT Loriltard's Olimai Plug, bearing a red tin tag; that LorUliHH Roae Iieaf fine cut; that Lorillard'a Navj Cllaplaga. and that LoriMard'i HBIIFI,ar« the best ana cheapest, quality conairiermt t FOR 30 DAYS ONLY! WII.I, BUY A NEW UPRIGHT OR SQUARE •lOO OK£ Boxed and on cars. Stool «nd rover ft!extra. HEKIJ'S TKMPLE Of MtSIC. 1:16 State St., CHICAGO. $ (OOO REWARD .A THE VICTOR Kor uov tiiKtluhf hulhas Cleaning tit for market a* much A Clover Seed iu (» K DAY a ta the VICTOR I DOUBLE HULLER. Illustrated circu­ lar mailed free. XF.WARK MACHINE CO., Colunbas, Ohto. Black Hawk lEiniimi H«.poms. Threshers Corn Shelters and Road Graders. Made especially for North Western Trade. Send for pricce. I'lroul.'irs.'&c. H. A. PITTS' SOXS MN. CO., Marseilles, I«M Salle Co., 111. FRAZERf AXLE GREASE. Beat In the World. Clef the ieanlia. IT. err parka a© tins onr Trade-nark and ia marked Frucr'a. SOLI) EVKKYWHKKJB. ASTHMA CURJEPI tJrrrunn Asthma Cure never/a i U tcunve fm>| ; r e l i e f n i tlie worst Oti6es,insurescomf0rt-| able elei'p; effects cores wheroall others fail. AI trial c»u ri nee.* the must tk'ptica'. PrioeftOc.andl « i ,OO.ot Drugvisth or twTnail. Sample PREK | LYMAN TRUSS. THI: HEST TIH >S IN THE VOUA. Ti.c iaoat modern in design. i he lit-ft adapted to torni ot body. <m-y o. adjustment by patient. Impossible u> tit it wnuiic. The ouly tVusw suited for nil occupations. Springs pasHiilxtve lii|>-jolnt, allowing: perfect freedom of limb*, ami lretina thi* spine entirely from pr aore. Will hold absolutely any rag" of liupturv, u<> mat­ ter linw nevere. trice, Stt.OO. S i.d for circular and be convinced. Truss mailed rostage/rcc. LYMAN \ JEFFREY, H'lif «!•>. V V TREATED FREE. DR. H. H. GREEN, A Specialist for Eleven Years Paatt Has treated Dropsy and its complications with the most wonderful suc cess; uses vegetable reinediea.s(>- tirely harmless. Kemoves all symptom!) of dropsy in eitrht to twenty days. Cures patients pronounced hopeless by ths beat ot physieijiis. i'roin the first dose the symptoms rapidly disap­ pear, and in ten days at least two-thirds of all aynap- toms are removed. Some may cry humbnp without Irnowinp anrthtair about it. Reni-mber. it does not cost you anything to realize the merits of my treatment for yourxlE In ten days the difficulty of breathing is relieved, the pulse regular, thu uriuary organs made to di* -hargo their full duty, sleep is restored, tlie swcllm* ail or nearly gone, tue strength increased, and appetite made pood. 1 am constantly curing east-8 of long standing, cases that have been tapped a number ot times, and the patient declared siuable to live a week. Send for 10 days' treatment; directions and terms free. Give full history of ca*e. Name «i, how long alflicte l. how badly swollen and where, is bowels costive, h <ve le;s burst*d an»l ilr iM-e-.i water. Send for free pamphlet, containing testimonials, uuestiona ete. Ten days' treatment furnished free by mail. •ilepsy fits positively cured. . W trial, Mind ; ̂ ^.tai^to 8*% SB Jones Avsuue, Atlanta. (3a. Mention this narer. e.N.u. No. 27-Ha _.N WRITING TO ADVEKT18KM, i please aajr yo« saw Ike Umtbrawal this payer. WST;

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