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k goodness I What is this v*vrRoar, ifpt Hit Mm a dtp I XS-,'-:"j "TU the livery hone at the Boston dip 1 Ding, dang I : Viai CHve him abangt • twIO, dear! What a horrible whaagf • • • Smack, whack I , "fj My 1 What a hack! . , fcrsak his heart and smash his haokl ; 1M; Lor', lain! Dai"n, d 1 • , 4 11 elab and give him Lash, slash! . Gosh, what a dasht :<1 tel That driver is awfully rasht i V \ £•' Whoa, whoa! Gracious I Go slow! * BM railroad 1 Well all be crushed to dough 1 ^ Crash, smash! One binding flash, [ driret and horses are ground to baakl - k - - - ; ~ A RAINY DAT. M On a day like this, when the streets an wet. When the skies are gray and the rain is falling; How can you hinder an old regret For a joy long dead, and a hope long set, ° From rising ont of its grave and calling y !. Calling to yon with a voioe BO shrill, rA - That it scares the reason and stuns the ' On a day like this, when the son is hid. And you and your heart are housed ' II memories came to you all unhid, And something suddenly wets your lid, , . Iiike a guBt of the outdoor weather, '? ' Why. who is in fault but the dim old daft".." •" Too dark for labor, too dull for piny? i a day like this, that is blurred and gray, ~"nen the rain drips down in a ceaseless fash- :i. •- ion; IT a dream that you banished and put away, Games back to stare in your face and say Mute eloquent words of p&SBion-- If the whole vast universe seem amiss-- 36.' who can help it--a day like this ? Wheeler TFtlccw. THE KING OF THE PLAINS. 1 Glimpse of tbe Texas Cowboy--His Life on the Drive, in the Camp, and at the Round Up. "Do I know the cowboys? Young man, I think I da When you have worked with them, camped with them, lived with them, and been among them forty years on the drive, on the plains, and on and off duty, you might say you know them." The speaker was a Texas cattleman, and he was asked to describe the cow­ boy. "The Texas cowboy," he continued, "in the most thoroughly misunderstood man outside of the localities where he ia known, on the face of the earth. I know him in all his alleged terrors, and aa a class there are no nobler-hearted honorable men in the world. Brave to rashness and generous to a fault, if you ahould be thrown among them you would find them ever ready to Bhare their last crust with you, or lie down at night with you on the same blanket "Why, young man, pee here," and the Texas man twitched his chair around until he could put his feet upon a win- do w-si II. "Say that I have 10,000 cat­ tle which I am about to send overland from Texas into Montana to fatten for the market. Those cattle will be on the drive from the 1st of April until the middle of September. They are divided into three herds, with a dozen or six­ teen men with each herd. I entrust ' these cattle in the hands of a gang of cowboys. For six months I know absolutely nothing of my stock. I trust their honesty to the extent of many thousands of dollars without a contract, without a bond, with no earthly hold upon them, legally or morally, beyond the fact that I am paying them $35 or *40 a month to protect my interests. And these are the men pictured in the east as outcasts of civilization. I trust absolutely to their judgment in getting these cattle through a wild and un­ broken country without loss or injury. I trust as absolutely to their bravery and endurance in tne face of danger." "Danger?" * "Danger! Yes, indeed. A man to $$ a cowboy must be a brave man. For mstance, we are on a drive. These slab-sided, long-horned Texas cattle are as wild as deer naturally, and being in an unknown country are as nervous aa timid sheep. The slightest noise may startlo them into a stampede. We have been on the drive all day and night is coming on. It is cold and raining. We have reached the point where we intended to round up for the night. The men commence to ride around the drove, singing, shouting, and whistling, to encourage the animals by the sounds they are lamiliar with, and to drown any noise of an unusual character which might provoke a stam­ pede. Bound and round the cattle they ride until the whole drove is trav­ eling in a circle. Slowly the cowboys close in on them, still shouting and ainging, until finally the cattle become quiet, and after a time lie down and oommence chewing their cuds with ap­ parent contentment. Still the vigi­ lance of the men cannot be relaxed. At least half of them mnst continue riding about the resting herd all night. A stampede of cattle is a terrible thing to the cowboys, and may be brought on by the most trivial cause. The slight- eat noise of an unusual nature, the barking of a coyote, the snap of a pis­ tol, the crackling of a twig will bring •ome wild-eyed steer to his feet in ter­ ror. Another instant and the whole drove are panting and bellowing in the wildest fear. They are ready to follow the lead of any animal that makes a break. Then the coolness and self- possession of the cowboys are called into play. They still continue their wild gullop around the frightened drove, endeavoring to reassure them and get them quiet once more. May be they will succeed after an hour or two, and the animals will again be at rest. But the chances are that they cannot be quieted so easily. A break ia made in some direction. Here comes the heroism of the cowboy. Those cat­ tle are wild and unreasonable in their flight as a pair of runaway horses. They know no danger but from behind, and if they did, could not stop for the surging sea of maddened animals in the rear. A rocky gorge or deep cut can­ yon may cause the loss of half their number. Those in the rear cannot see the danger and the leaders cannot stop lor those behind, and are pushed on to their death. A precipice may lie iii their way, over which they plunge to destruction. It matters not to the cow­ boy. If the stampede is made the cap­ tain of the drove and his men ride until they head it, and then endeavor to turn the animals in a circle once more. A hole in the ground, which catches • horse's foot, a stumble, and the hoofs Ct 3,000 cattle have trampled the sem­ blance of humanity from him. He knows this. A gulch or gorge lies in their path. There is no escaping it There is no turning to the right or the left, and in an instant horse and rider are at the bot'om, buried under 1,000 cattle. But what of it? It is only a cowboy, and they come chcap. But history records no instance of more un­ questioning performance of duty in the Sresence of danger than these men un-ergo on every drive. Should the atampede be stopped there is no rest for the drivers that night, but the ut­ most vigilance is required to prevent a osr dreds of tiaea on a single drive. "I remember one instance, which, from tike friendship in which I held the victim, has made a lasting impression on me. Two brothers were together on the drive. Both men had been educated in en Eastern college, but for some reason had drifted to the cattle plains of Texas and had become cow-boys. The elder was the Captain of the drive. Sitting about the camp-fire one night the younger was very down-hearted about something and finally said: 'Charlie, let's throw up this drive. I don't want to go. I feel that one or the other of us will never go back. I am ashamed of this, but I oannot shake it off.' His brother was impressed by his seriousness, but could only say: 'George, here are 3,000 cattle in my charge. I could not leave them if I knew that I would be killed to-morrow.' 'A stampede!' cried one of the men. In an instant they were all at their ani­ mals, saddles were adjusted and away they went The Captain gained the head of the drive and had succeeded in turning them a little when his horse stumbled. In another instant horse and rider could hardly have been dis­ tinguished from one uiother. So you see there is some reoponsibility upon the men. "These wild cattle away from home are as variable as the wind, and when frightened are as irresistible as an ava­ lanche. The slightest thing stampedes them. For instance, we have rounded up the drive and the cattle are lying down. I am one of the men detailed to ride around them. Finding them all quiet, I get off my horse to light my pipe. Believed of my burden the horse rests himself by a shake. The whole drove are on their feet in an instant, listening to discover from what quarter the noise came. No one can foresee which way they will make the break and only the utmost sell-possession and good judgment on the part of the men on duty will prevent a general stam­ pede. That is the class of men cow­ boys are made of, and I never knew of many instances where they failed to do their duty." The enthusiastio Texan had now warme.l up to his subject, and when asked "where are the cowboys xecruited from ?" replied "From all parts of the world. Some from the plains, where their toys in infancy are the miniature lariat and a shotgun. Seme from Mexico, with many of their half-Indian characteris­ tics, and many from the Fast I know a dozen college graduates who are cow­ boys, and have become so infatuated with the life that I suppose they will never leave it until the final grand round-up. "Theie is another interesting period in the life of the cowboy, and that is the spring round-up. In the fall the cattle stray away, and in working away from the storms they sometimes get away 100 miles or so. Each cattle- owner has his own particular brand on his cattle. Well, the ranchmen in some natural division of the country will or­ ganize a grand round-up in the spring. The cowboys will drive the cattle all in together in one big drove. Then the captain of tbe round-up will direct the owner of ranch A to 'cutout his cattle. One of A's most experienced men will then ride into the drive until he sights an animal with his brand on. Deftly be will drive the animal to the outer edge of the herd, and then with a quick dash runs the beast out away from the drove, and it is taken in charge by others of A's ranchmen, while the cut­ ter goes back alter another. After some fifteen or twenty minutes, A's cut­ ter will bo taken off and B's given a chance. This will be continued until each ranclj has its cattle cut out. If any cattle are found without a brand they are killed for the use of the men on the round-up. This 'cutting' is a work requiring great skill and experi­ ence and frequently requires the use of the lariat Often cattle with a strange brand is found. If any one recognizes the brand, a ranchman living nearest the owner takes charge of it and noti­ fies the owner. If no one recognizes the brand the captain of the round-up advertises it, and if no owner is found, it is sold at auction for the benefit of the Cattlemen's Association. "These things will go to show the responsibility resting upon these men. They have to be men of integrity and reliability, and their labors are such that you can readily see they cannot be very dissipated. I will tell you how they get the reputation for reckless­ ness. We will suppose these men have been on a drive for six monthB and have finished and been paid off. Then they are just like any other body of men, they go in for some fun, and on their lark ride yelling through the streets of some little town, shoot a few street lampa out, and get into a saloon row. It is no more than a band of col­ lege boys at Harvard, or Cornell, or Princeton might do, and frequently do, but some imaginative correspondent immediately sends it to some Eastern paper, where it comes out headed, "Another Cowboy Outrage," and giv­ ing a wholly fiictitious account of the battle between the outlaws and the citizens. Now, I know hundreds of cowboys who never carry a revolver, and if you should go among them to­ day your life and your pocketbook would be as safe as it is in the city. They have strict ideas of honor, and thev stand upon their honor. You won't find any of them who would be safe to impose upon, nor will you find any of them who will attempt to im­ pose on you. They are oil' duty a lot of big-hearted, rough boys, but they are not outlaws or outcasts. They, are not the class of men who rob trains, or hold iip people crossing the plains, and I believe that, taken for ail in all, the American cowboy will compare favorably in morals and manliness with any similar number of citizens taken as a class." --Pittsburg Dis- patch. • An Exhibition of drib "A brave man is always brave," said Jones to Smith; "a coward ia always a coward." "I don't know about that," said Smith; "a brave man may sometimes exhibit fear, and a coward under certain circumstances show bravery." "I don't believe it," rejoined Jones, warmly, "nature is nature." "Well, there's Bobinson now, one of the most timid men I ever saw " "He's an arrant coward!" "I always thought so, but recently he has shown himself possessed of true<: bravery--regular grit, sir." •How?" "Why he's just married a red-headed girL" THE number of plants used by man is started to exceed 3,000. Of these about 600 are used as food, 1,140 in medicine, and about 35J are employed in the various industries. It has not Item* tbe ditty of the writer to investigateeaias of accidents which might have been caused by defects of sight, bat he has been assured by offi­ cials that a solution will hereafter be found in them for those hitherto insol­ uble mysteries where men, otherwise credible, have so flatly contradicted themselves and the circumstances of the case. By one prominent officer he was told that, being upon a train at night, delayed by some slight accident, he himself took a red lantern, nud go­ ing a proper distance back, placed him­ self on the track in ti;e way of an on­ coming train, but, finding his light not observed he was compelled to dash it into the cab to attract the engineer's attention, and arrest him in his pro­ gress to a collision. Upon the exami­ nation of another engineer, his supe­ rior officer being present and convinced of his marked color-blindness remarked that, but a short time before, the man had run into the rear of a train proper­ ly protected by a red light in the hands of a brakeman some distance in the rear, that the most careful investiga­ tion had resulted only in the suspen­ sion of the brakeman for not having gone far enough back, but that he was now satisfied that the color-blindness of the engineer had been the real cause of the jiccident. Some slight or minor accidents recently led to the discovery that another engineer had by some oversight not been tested in his divi­ sion, and this led to his examination and detection there, and to his convio- tion by the writer as a color-blind. Still another case now presents itself. An engineer some time ago ran over and killed a brakeman, holding a dan­ ger signal on the track in front of his engine, and no satisfactory explanation could then be given; but the division examiner predicted that he would prob­ ably be found color-blind, and on his examination this proved to bo the case. --Dr. William Thomson, in Popular Science Monthly. Ctot Weil Grounded on Agricu ture. A city-bred young man, just cut of college, hired out to a Vermont farmer to '"brace up his constitution a little." Part of his daily duty was to feed tbe cattle. One day his employer noticed thairhe was reading an agricultural paper very intently, but thought noth­ ing of it until he saw the embryo farm­ er making for the stalls where the calves were kept with a large basket of garden loam. "Hellow,'what's that for?" asked the farmer. "Why," said the young man, "I read in the paper yesterday that calves ought to have a little ground feed daily, and I thought I'd try it and see how it worked."--Burlington Free Press~ Times. Boiling Water in a Sheet of P.'.per. Take a piece of paper and fold it up, as schoolboys do, into a square box without a lid. Hang this up to a walk­ ing stiok by four threads, and support the stick on books or other convenient props. Then a lamp or taper mu6t be placed under this dainty cauldron. In a few moments the water will boil. The only fear iB lest the threads should catch fire and let the water spill into the lamp and over the table. The flame must therefore not be too large. The paper does not burn because it is wet, and even if it resisted the wet it would not be burned through, because the heat imparted to one side by the flame would be very rapidly conducted away bv the other.--Nature. Carious Expulsion of a Parasite. The so-called "horse-hair snake" ia known to be a parasite of tbe cricket. It becomes active only under water, and a recent interesting statement by Dr. H. C. McCook makes it appear that the crickets themselves are aware of this peculiarity and seek to take ad­ vantage of it. A lady was troubled by frequently finding the hair-snakes in her water-pails, and watched to learn ho w they came there. She soon saw a large cricket mount upon the edge of one of the pails, bring the tip of the abdomen just beneath the water, and, with a few violent throes, expel a black mass, which resolved itself into one of the worms. The cricket seemed much exhausted by the operation. 8pontaneoD8 Combustion. It is claimed that spontaneous combus­ tion of the human body has thken place in more than one instance, and Charles Dickens is not the only novelist who has introduced it into a story. It has also been referred to in medical works. Levoux's "Journal de Medicin" gives an account of a fat woman 28 years 6f age, who was found on fire in her cham­ ber, where nothing else was burning. The neighbors heard a noise something like frying, and when the body was re­ moved it left a layer of black grease. The doctor conceived that the combus­ tion began in the internal parts, and the clothes were burned secondarily. A Yery Delicate Hint. The editor of a leading humorous pa­ per, when a little boy, was very fond of gardening in a small way. One day when he was watering a plot where he had planted some early seeds, his fathea went out to see what he was do­ ing, and said to him, "Johnny, why don't you water your garden with soap­ suds?* "It doesn't rain soap-suds from the sky. does it?" "No; but then it doesn't rain flowers, or cabbages, or hats, or coats." "I know it; if it did, I would have a new pair of-spring trousers." The Texas Climate. "What sort of a table do you set?" asked a stranger in Austin, of the wid­ ow Flapjack. The stranger wits an in­ valid who came to Texas for general debility. "The best the market affords is on my table. The more a boarder eats, the better he likes it" "Hump!" remarked the stranger; "I suppose that means he never gets enough to eat I guess I'll look around and see if I can't find some place where a man can fill up for his money. Good morning, madam."--Texas Siftings. Tbe Hazel Bod Superstition Still Lives. A Boston dealer in lightning-rods has distanced his competitors by pretend­ ing to determine, through a hazel stiok, the direction of subterranean currents. He claims that lightning follows these currents, and so before fitting a con­ ductor on a house uses his stick to find the proper place for ground termina­ tion. He has among his patrons State and county dignitaries, Govenors not excepted.--Cincinnati Commercial- Gazette. IT is a disappointment for hundreds standing about Washington waiting for the office to seek the man to be told that the offiee will not hunt for any­ body this summer. THE 1640. ER-8KATES. on roller-" Bishop skates!* Mrs. Dewanap laid the paper on her lap like a woman suddenly overpow­ ered. She Wife shocked. She re­ moved her spectacles, rubbed them, put them on, looked at the paper in a helpless way, and, finding no language suitable to the occasion, shook her head. " Bishop--Huntington--on--BOIXER- skates! Shocking! I never would have believed it! Why, it seems just as bad as if they'd advertise the apos­ tles at the museum! It wouldn't be worse, to my mind--not a bit more ridiculous if they'd put St Paul on a trick-mule in a circus. How can he?-- how can any man who has any dignity to support even lend his presence to these expectations? But to get on skates himself 1 "Well, welll You may say what you please about my old-fogy ideas when I talk of the depravity of the times, one thing I do know, the world---the re­ ligious world--no world is growing wiser or better that tolerates or puts confidence in a Bishop on roller- & "What's that, John Andrew? You think the world is growing wiser! Your faith in Bishop Huntington ain't shaken by a paragraph in a newspaper! Very well--but when your Bishop gets on roller-skates--I can't express myself. If the Bishop can go on roller-skates, so can the doctors, and the curates, and the vestrymen, and the choir. A pretty sight that would be--a bishop sailing away head, the curates, vestry­ men, congregation, and chorus all fol­ lowing pell mell--rolling, wobbling old, young, big, little, fat, and lean, some of them tumbling--all to the sound of those horrible bands that split one's ears! "You think it would, in a manner, il­ lustrate the airv movements of angels? John Andrew, t am shocked. You can't be serious. But just think of a man of Bishop Huntington's presence; a man as refined, as intellectual-looking, with that air of perfect self-command, that elegance--and all that on roller-skates --it's just too awful to think of. "I can remember the Bishop when he was a young man. We all predicted wonderful things of him, but nothing more than was fulfilled. He was a handsome young man. When he un dertook a thing it was sure to go through--and now to think here he is leading his people right on to roller- skates ! Oh, I see it! You needn't try to soften it. Isn't it here before my very eyes--'Bishop Huntington on Boiler-Skates' ? Now, I'd like to know just what put him on? What new freak is it? Some of your novel ways of begging money for missions, instead of honestly paying to the Lord what you can afford to spare. No, but you must get up ice-cream festivals, and fairs, and spend a lot of money on trumpery, and dressing yourself for your bazars! That's bad enough! 1'ou do everything almost but tell fortunes. Now you've gone a step further, and got the Bishop on roller-skates. Don't speak to me, John Andrew. I've never been so shock­ ed in all my life. I'll never see the Bishop again without fancying him puffing and blowing, and falling, trying to learn roller-skating. A man at his years, too. It's ridiculous! It's shameful! It's sinful! Who can speak of religion, let alone venerate a religious teacher, in the same breath with the subject of roller-skating ? Well, well. All the Huntington blood is faded out now. The last speck of it has disappeared. You can't talk of family and roller-skates in the same hour-- you can't mention promotion in the church. I don't care if a man was made a pope, you couldn't talk of it and roller-skating the same day or week. "What is the world coming to, John Andrew? There! see for yourself. Now--read slowly--let me know the worst at once--then bum the paper! I never want to see it again. "What! A paper on the subject Bead before a meeting. He terms it a dangerous experiment, taking one class from the streets, and drawing another from safety to dissipation. That's just for all the world the way I'd expect to hear him talk. To be sure that is the way he'd look at it. It's absurd to think he would say anything else. Bishop Hunt­ ington is a man who knows the world and its wickedness; a man of wonder­ ful discrimination; a man not easily misled, and one that may be trusted to say the proper thing at all times is Bishop Huntington, and any one who would attribute any nonsense or short­ comings to the Bishop doesn't know him. There--lay the paper on the table--I'll read it at my leisure, John Andrew."--Chicago Ledger. Does a Dinger Areata* Story One of Us! How PabUc Attention Is Direct** «a Per­ sonal Perils. first almanac was printed in Previous to that date the weath-PROSPEBITY is no just scale; adversi- ty is the only balance to weigh friends.' er had to take care of itself. .-.I.., V.?' r *, ' Clipping and Sinning Language. There seems no room for doubting that the h disease had its origin in London. Walker speaks of it as spe­ cially prevalent in London in his day, and even now it is more common in the pure cockney dialect (the most hateful form of the English dialect in exist­ ence) than anywhere in England. Moreover, its prevalence in other places than London is greater or less accord­ ing as such places are nearer to or farther from the metropolis. This be­ ing the case, we are justified in assum­ ing that the disease had at first that form which is characteristic of the faults of language found at great cen­ ters of population, and especially in the chief city of the nation. If you wish to hear French clipped and slurred you should go to Paris, and German suffers like treatment in Vienna and Berlin. It is the same with English in London. In a great and busy city men shorten their words and sentences as much as possible, being assured that what they say will be understood, be­ cause all speak the same language and adopt the same convenient abbrevia­ tions. Thus, just as in Paris cette femme becomes c'te fine, and Voila ce que e'est becomes Via c' q' e'est, so in London City Bank becomes C'ty Ba'k; halfpenny is abridged first to ha'penny and then to hapny or 'apny. Omnibus is shortened into 'bus; every one in it addresses the conductor as 'ductor; the conductor shortens the cry of all right into rv, announces the threepenny fare as thrippus, and so forth. In fact, it may be laid down as a general proposi­ tion that, although a language becomes modified in provincial places and in colonies, it is only in busy cities, and chiefly in capital cities, that language is modified by clipping and slurring.-- Atlantic Monthly. "I AM positively opposed to HAVFCNF* A choir in the church," said old Mrs. Piety to her husband, after listening to the half-operatic airs of the service. "We have no account of choirs in the days of the apostles." "No," growled Mr. Piety, sadly; "but you know they had other methods of torture that were almost as bad." (N. Y.) eorrespondaao* Indianapolis Sentinal.J "Jurtjre," said a young lawyer to a nqr successful senior, "toll me the secret of your uniform success at the bar." "Ah, young man. that secret is a life study, but I will rive it to you on condition that you pay ah my bills during this session of court." '•Agreed, sir," said the junior. "Evidence, indisputable evideuoe." At the end of the month the Judge ra- minded the young man of his promise. "I recall no such promise." "Ah, but you made it." "Your evidence, please?" And tbe Judire, not having any witnesses, lost a case for onoe! The man who can produce indisputable evidence wins public favor. I had an inter­ view yesterday with the most successful of American advertisers, whose advertising is most successful because always backed by evidence. " What styles of advertising do you use?" I asked H. H. Warner, Esq. "Display, reading matter, and paragraphs of testimonials." " Have you many testimonials?" In answer he showed iiv- a large cabinet chock-full. "We have enough to fill Bos­ ton, New York, Chicago, St. Louis, and Phil­ adelphia morning papers." "Do you publish many of them?" "Not a tithe. Wonderful as are those we do publish, we have thousands like them which we cannot use. 'Why not?' Let me telt you. ' Warner's safe cure,' has probably been the most successful medicine for fe­ male disorders ever discovered. We have testimonials from lad es of the highest'rank, but it would be indelicate to publish them. Likewise many statesmen, lawyers, clergy­ men, doctors of world-wide fame have been cured, but we can only refer to such persons in the most guarded terms, as we do in our reading articles." "Are these reading articles successful?" '•When, read they make such an impres. sion that when the 'evil days' of iil-health draw nigh they are remembered, and War­ ner's safe curc is used." "No, sir, it is not necessary now, as at first, to do such constant and extensive advertis­ ing. A meritorious medicine sells itself after its merits are known. We present just such evidence enousrh to disarm skeptics and to Im­ press the merits of the remedies upon new con Burners. We feel it to be our duty to do this. Hence, best to accomplish our mission of healing the sick, we have to use the reading article style. People won't read plain test! monials." "Yes, sir: thousands admit that had they not learned of Warner's safe cure through this clever style they would still be ailing and still impoverishing themselves in fees to un­ successful 'practitioners.' It would do your soul good to read the letters of thanksgiving we get from mothers grateful for the perfect success which attands Warner's safe cure when used for children, and the surprised gratification with which men and women of older years and impaired rigor testify to the youthful feelings restored to them by the same means.' "Are these good effects permanent?" "Of all the cases of kidney, liver, urinary and female diseases we have cured, not two per cent, of them report a return of their disorders. Who else can show such a recordr" "What is the secret of Warner's -safe cure permanently reaching so many serious dis­ orders?" "I will explain by an Illustration; The lit tie town of Plymouth, Pa., has been plague- stricken for several months because its water supply was carelessly poisoned. Tbe kidneys and liver are souroes of physical well-being. If polluted by discaseJHl the blood becomes poisoned and every ^organ is affected, ami thin great danger threatens evtru one, who tu:gketn to treat himself promptly. I was nearly dead myself of extreme kidney disease, but what is now WarueiSa t-afe cure cured nie, and 1 know it is the nmy remedy in the world (hat ean cure xtich disorder*, for I tried everything else in vain. Cured by it myself, 1 bought it, and, from a sense of duty, presented it to the world. Only by re­ storing the kidneys and ll\or can disease leave the blood and the system." A celebrated sanitarian physician onoe said to me: "The secret of the wonderful success of Warner's safe cure is that it is sovereign over all kidney, liver and urinary diseases, which primarily or secondarily make up the majority of human ailments. Like all great discoveries, it is remarkably simple." The house of If. H. Warner & Co. stands deservedly high in Rochester, and It is cer­ tainly matter of conuratulation that merit has been recognized all over the world, and that this success has been unqnalifltdly de* served. PEN POINT. ' A*n«I®e.*la. ' ^ In Philadelphia recently, at a Coroner's inquest over the body of a child, the jury, returned a verdict that death was caused by the administration of a patent oough syrup^ containing morpbia. Dr. Sam'l K. Cox, of Washington, states that not one cough medicine in teq ie free from this objection; After careful^ analyses and practical tests, he indorses Red Star Cough Cure as being purely vegetable, absolutely free from opiates, poisons, and narcotics. He regards it as a most happy and valuable discovery. Bill Kye at a Military Banqnet. I am not much of a military man. I once undertook to hold a claim in the North Park, but a bitterness sprang up between myself and the Indians, and I lost my front hair. Cholera, chief of the Utes, came to the Boom­ erang mine one day and said he would give me two sleeps to get away in. I didn't want any difficulty with him, and I thought one sleep was enough, and so I hurried right away. I said to him: "Noble warrior of the knock-kneed Utes, take my mine, you can have it, it's al­ ready salted; it will keep through the hot weather all right. Help yourself to anything you can find; take my grub, take my whisky; drink yourself into a premature grave at my expense, fire up with my nitro-glycerine and drop on yourself." And then I got out. Cemented with Blood. The greatest calamity that can befall a confirmed smoker is to have his cher­ ished meerschaum broken, as frequently happens by a fall or other accident. When this happens, the fractured idol is generally taken to a jeweler's and the dismembered parts rejoined by means of silver bands. This, of course, is expensive, but when was the time that a Yankee could not overcome difficulties of this sort at trifling cost ? A smoker of Biddeford, Me., happened to drop a handsome meerchaum pipe from his knees to the floor, and the stem parted in the middle. His friends immediately expressed their sympathy with bim, but the man was not in the least disturbed by the disaster. He simply drew his knife from his pocket, extracted blood from his arm with one of the keen blades, and rubbing the broken ends of the pipe in the fluid placed them together, and laid the article on a table to dry. It was a novel experiment, but it is said that it will work successfully every time, and that if a pipe is once broken and cemented with blood it will never again part in that place.--Biddeford Journal. A Tonic In the True Sense of the Word. Not all medicinal preparations called tonles are such. A mere stimulant of appetite, which gives a simple " fillip to Nature "--which re­ moves no obstacle to her processes in the human system, is in no true se nse a tonio. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters not only far transcends In purity the ordinary nnmedicated stimulants of commerce, the cheap local bitters, and eye-openers vended as tonics, but where they are powerless to do more than Impart a temporary stimulus to appetite, the Bitters re­ stores digestion, remedies biliousness and in­ sures regularity in the habit of body. It is, then fore, a touic in the true sense of the word, for does It not renew harmony of tone In the most important functions of the body, where all before was discordant, fetbl?, and inharmoni­ ous '! Besides this, its Invigorating and regu­ lating effects cunstitute it the best possible safeguard tgainst malarial diseases. It con­ quers rheumatism, kidney complaints, and nervousness. •. Soap Before Meat. The stomach will not so readily digest solid substances when these are taken alone as when' they are preceded on the digestive journey by soup. The bread which is eaten with the soup will be converted into dextrin in the mouth, and the essentials of the soup, on reach­ ing the stomach, will apparently supply the little glands of the organ with the power to manufacture the pepsin of the gastric juice in due quantity. It would seem, in truth, as if these glands de­ manded nourishment and stimulant in their own turn; and the soup, through its containing an abundance of dis­ solved matters, presents them with the wherewithal from which to derive the necessary energy. IT is claimed that the devil chuckles whenever a bride puts her hands in the dough. " Consumption Core** would be a truthful name to give to Dr. Pierce's MGolden Medical Discovery, the most efficacious medicine yet discovered for arresting the enrly development of pulmon­ ary disease. But "consumption cure" would not sufficiently indicate the scope of its in­ fluence and usefulness. In all the many dis* eases which spring from a derangement of tbe liver and blood, the "Discover/" la a safe and sure specific. Of all druggists. Rupture, Breach or Hernia permanently cured or no pay. The worst cases guaranteed! Pamphlet and references, two 3 cent stamps. World's Dispenpary Med­ ical Association,Main street.Ilutlalo, N. Y. - NOTWITHSTANDING the fact that "one good turn deserves another," it is not advisable to turn a collar more than three times. How OFTEN is the light of the household clouded by Bignsof melancholy or Irritability on the part of the ladies. Yet they are not to be blamed, for the.- are the result of ail­ ments peculiar to that sex. which men know not of. But the cause may be removed and joy restored by the uso of Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription," which, as a tonic and nc vine for debilitated women, is cet* tain, safe and pleasant. It is beyond all com* pare the great healer of women. EVXRT man may have a price, but every other man can not pay it.--Whitehall Tim s. Important. When yen visit or leave New York Oty, save Dageage Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot: ftoo elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduoed to $1 and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the best. Horse cabs, stage, and elevated railroad to all depots. Fami­ lies can live better for less monsy at the Grand Union than at any first-claas hntM in the city. THE Esquimaux think their snow place like home. "Pat up" st the Gsalt BOOM. The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations nt the low price of f2 and 82.50 per day at the Gault House, Chica­ go, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class. HOTT & GATES. PronrietofS. KENSMAN'S PEPTONIZED BEEP TONIC, tbe only preparation of beef containing its en­ tire nutritious properties. It contains blood- making, foroe generating, and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dys­ pepsia, nervous prostration, and all forms of general debility; also, in all enfeebled condi­ tions, whether the result of exhaustion, nerv­ ous prostration, over-work, or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hazard & Co., proprie­ tors, New York. Sold by druggists. People who desire to preserve their health should bo exceedingly careful about their diet, at this season, and at no time should they bo without a supply of PERKY DAVIS' PAIN KILLEU. It is used externally and internally. GB^rgmEOY Q U R E S Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Bscksehs, Hssdschs, Toothache, Bore Throat,S«r«llliiSkS|iralM.BnlM(, Burns. Scald*, Vroat Bite*. in 1U. OTHKS BODILY PAIXB ilD into. loMb|Drag|lataftn4 Dutenivsmrhtrt, Fifty0*ala«betdts Dlnctiom la 11 THK CHARLES A. VOOELEB CO. UA. vooiicaaco.) Batumi*, at, O.S»Jb CREIHBILNCAJMBH Cleanses the Bead. Allays inflammation. Heals the Sores. Re­ stores the Senses of Taste, Smell, Hearing. A POSITIVE CURE. CREAM BALM utation wherever known, displacing all other prep­ arations. A particle is ap­ plied into each nostril; no pain; asrreeable to use. HAY-FEVER iTloe ftOc. by mwi or at drucrglBt. 8en4 for circular. ELY BllOTHEltS, Druxiitti. Oweiro, N.Y. 1 MOTHER'S JO?, a Wife's Gratitude to Him who has Afforded her ° the Means of once more Enjoying Llfs. The following pleasant letter was recently re- oelved by Dr. David Kennedy, of Rondont, N. Y., and signed '"Old Schenectady": "I procured a bottle of 'Kennedy's Favorite Remedy' and my wife used it with the best re­ sults. She has no more headache or pain in the aide. Indeed, the medicine seemed to have an almost magical effect, and she feels very grate­ ful to you for your kind advice, and especially for the 'Favorite Remedy.' We shall be glad to recommend it to all women who may be suffer­ ing from any of the ills peculiar to the sex. It is all you claim for it." It may be in place to mention, as pertinent to the above letter, that Dr. Kennedy, the proprie­ tor of "Favorite Remedy," located in the City of Schenectady soon after his graduation,and went from there to the war. Some of the most cheer­ ing letters he receives are from his old acquaint­ ances in that place, many of whom know from experience what "Favorite Remedy" can do for disease. There all the Doctor's old friends will believe him when he says that "favorite Reme­ dy" Is a specific for Liver and Kidney Com­ plaints, Constipation, Diseases of the l lood and Urinary Organs, and all diseases and weaknesses peculiar to females. Writo to l>r. David Kenne­ dy Kondout, N. Y.. and state your case, or axk your druggist for "Favor.te Remedy," for sale by all dru«Kists. Price, 25 eta., SO eta. and 91JOO perPnWIa. 80JJ> BY AIX DKVGQim „ •- i/itiM • ssd, m % BITTERS, If you wish a certain tan for all diseases. Nothing waa ever inver*~ cleanse the Blood and purify the I to Hope and BALTMM*! up the System, puts veins, restores your sleep, and brings you never falls to give relief I or Liver Troubles, lUomeaese, cestlon, Constipation, Sck HeadaebM, pepsta, Nervous disorders, and all _ (Complaints} when pre cure. Thousands have in this and other Western (States. Combination of Vegetable icuata as MS discovered tor the restoration to health eC we Weak and Debilitated. Do not I and HALT Bitters oonfOondsa, rior preparations of limflar Dams. X ^ Hons & Malt Bitters w*n}arfy to HKT MWi.lhft Robert Turner, M. D., Flat Rock, Mich. For talS by all druggists. HOPS & HALT BITTERS CO, DEINR, ftoi Taught and Bttanttoas Furnished. CiacOTA--yass. BROS., JanesvUSTwlS. . big money] TELEGRAPHY I VALKNTINK •M GAS:! O U ^ -- ^R. U. AWAMT~ J Lotmarn'ajjMk Ihf, ; bearing a rad Ma (as ;tti ~ R--sLeafflasent;tS Navy Clippings, and that loribMt tne best ana ehsapsst. qaallty able sleep; effects (RWEOMIIMTATMS Black Hawk IDS |uoit$E-roms.j Corn Shstlsrsasd Roai Made especially for North Western Trade, leadfor NEW EHOLAKD CONSERVATORY Boston, Mass.. OLDEST J, . and Best Equipped in the WO] ors, liK 1 Students last year. Then Vocal and Instruments! Mnste, inV. Fine Arts, Oratory, literal and Italian Languages, English . etc. Tuition, $5 to|£0; hoard aai term. Fall term I Illustrated Calendar, E. TOUBJEE. Di AXLE GREASE. Best la the Warld. 8 DROPS TREATED FREE. J DR. H. H. GREEN, A Specialist for IWewaa Tears VIA Hss treated Dropsy and Its oompUasttoaa aftfe most wonderful success; uses vegetable reassdtsase- tirsly harmless. Removes all symptOHMoC (DWpSF in eight to twenty days. •_ Cures patients pronounced hopelsss hy mm b>llO< physicians. From the first <V>«e the symptoms nab nesr. and in ten days at least two-thirds w i to His arei removed. Some may cry humbug without knewtng about it. Remember, it does not cost yon to realize the merits ot my treatment for j . In ten days the difficulty ot breathing is rsUev pulpp r^ular, the urinary organs made totfteehng* their full duty, sleep la restored, the swaUing SU 0* nearly K°ne. the strength incrsased. sad ap m»d«i good. 1 am constantly caring esses a stamliue. canes that have been tanned a nuaal times, and the patient declared nnahie to live a The most beautiful and fineat toned in the world. Low prion, easy path ment. Send for cstalogue. Address Weaver Orc&n & Piano Co-York. Pa. Send for 10 days' treatment: directions and ^ free. Give full history of esse. Name sax. how afflicted, how badly swollen and where, is * costive, hove legs bursted and dripped water. for freu pamphlet, containing teattmoaiaia,qnsstisak etc. Ten days" treatment furnished fine by watt. Epilepsy Ata positively rand, H order Mai, send T centerinatemgstepgryitui. 55 Jones XtiaBtaTQa. gBT Mention this paner. i BULLETIN BOARD | Haulm's Pat. Disitaj Cbirt. f ; ••••BITI^M'IY v.i < REUULA PATENTS Every Merchant IVanf# (»#. AGENTS WANTED. Send for cir­ culars and pricea HAMILTON & KATZ, TWO KTVKKS, WIS. R. 8. * A. P. LACET. Patent Atfys. Washimrton, B. C Morphine Habit t'urt><t in 10 20 dnyw. No pay till eared* DA. J. 8TKFHKNS. LEBANON. Obia. LADY AGENTS permanent oyment and i _ Queen Clt Btor e.M. u WRITING TO WHKN ulrase say yaa ouport outfit fkee. address Cincinnati Lo. Bnspendar Oo, Cincinnati. ..' A i; V. 'iv . .J.' i; Vi i i-v-i