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(rtttfl ^tiundcaltt I SLYKE. Editor and Pu&l sner. • KtcHENRY, ILLINOIS : - v. "ViV. 'Ri: , IBK BUKIHD MOTBflk - : Ojrt by fh« -walls of a buried town 11M grave stood cold as the night came down, ?*he Angel u« prayer lind long been said. And the bell tolled out the psalm for the dead; 11 swung for awhile from the darkening steeple "Out from the depths," said priest and people. Through all the close-shut town and towers" ;; Hie doors were shut for the silent hours. s : Bat a mother, buried for half a year, £ • Woke with a crying in her ear. She rose with the vague Bleep still in her head. And clad in the shroud that wraps the dead. 8ht left the cold graves nnder the walls. And took the street to her husband's halls. . ! She felt her long-dead bosom ache, For. her seven children were all awake. And none had broken them bread that night, Or poured them beer, or trimmed a light. And none had laid them pillow or sheet; The dust of the day was on their feet. Two strove for an empty cup. and one . Was crying--that was her youngest son. She washed and kissed them, and boshed their cries; * While tears pressed out of her long-dead eyes. But their father, who lay on a lower floor, ,-s^ Had hear her step on the corridor. And he arose and came, and saw her stand - With the children clinging to either hand, 8he Baid, "The crying smote my heajft. It broke my dreams of death apart. "1 was loth to leav*> these seven. I died. But when have I slept when the child has cried? "Take note, ere I pass to my many dead; Tour children woke and had no bread* "No Are, no lamp; two were at strife : ' One cried uncomforted. Tell your wife." ' - » --jUicc Heynell, in the Magazine of Art. WANTED A DRESS SUIT. A Btimorous Story from the German. if 1 •v.-l' r-' ;* ">A I"" : • > V • . X : mm m mmk X. ;v "By Jove! that miserable tailor is enough to drive a man crazy," cried Judge Henry Winkler desperately, not knowing whether to curse or laugh. He paced the room as he spoke, like a caged animal. Poor fellow! His anger was not unreasonable as he strode up and down the limited space, his hai dressed and perfumed, and attired fâ shining patent leather boots; Ipen faultlessly laundried--but there jour description must cease, and weVmust not further dilate on the bridegroom's appareL Yes, Henry Winkler was to be married at 12 o'clock, sharp, to his adored Aurelia, in one of the most fashionable churches. The tailor had promised him to deliver his dress suit at his apartments at 10 o'clock, and now it was quite 11:30, and Mr. Wink­ ler stood arrayed in spotless white and there were no signs of a swallow-tail anywhere! "Do you know what I would do ?" ventured an officious groomsman, who had come to escort the J udge to church. "I would just put on my morning coat and start at once. 1 do believe that this will be the very best thing you can do just now." "Bring me a hatful of last year's hail, but pray do not mention my morning ooat, nor put in a plea for my trous­ ers," cried Winkler, laughing wildly. "One can see the sunshine through my eoat; and leaving out such trides as style and cut, my trousers, which were black ten years ago, are now of such a hue as to be totally indescribable. Man is always a laughable object when he is getting married, even at his best; but if I array myself as you suggest I am half afraid that Aurelia would say 'No' instead of 'Yes' when we meet at the altar." "But what is to be done?" urged the groomsman. "What can you do? It is getting late. Did you not say that the tailor said 10 o'clock ? See, it is 11:30," cried Charley Held, nervously. "He certainly said 10 o'clock," the Judge answered, solemnly. "Well, suppose we send for your dress suit?" said Charley. "What are you dreaming of?" re­ turned the Judge. "It would take more than an hour for any messenger to get from here to the tailor-shop." "You are right," sighed Charley. "But tell me what was your reason for ordering your wedding clothes so late? They should have been here a week ago. Why were you so foolish?" "1 was foolish to trust to that beast of a tailor. I always put off things un­ til the very last moment, and now I am to be punished, I suppose," and Henry Winkler threw himself into an arm­ chair. "Look at my new dress suit," said Charley Held, smoothing his coat down in front of a long dressing glass. "Doesn't it fit me well? Oh, I was smarter than you. Judge, for my dress suit was ordered in good time and sent home a week ago. I had it made ex­ pressly to wait on you. One may trust the apothecary, the bootmaker, and the devil occasionally, bat never--no, nev­ er--trust your tailor." "Your lecture may be very amusing," groaned the Judge, "but it fails to keep me out of this muddle." Suddenly the Judge bounded up from the arm-chair, grasped the aston­ ished Charley by the shoulders, and looked at him fixedly, while he cried: "But you can help me if you will, old fellow. I see that you can be of the greatest assistance to me in this, the most threatening moment of my exist­ ence." "I," answered the surprised friend. "What on earth can I do to help you now? I cannot see my way." "But you will see your way. Look in the glass, my dear boy. See how we stand--as much alike in figure as two "Well, what of that?" asked Charley, as the Judge devoured his figure with his large brown eyes. "Don't you see, my dearest friend, how you can help me? Why you must lend me your dress suit so that I can hurry and get married," the Judge "aid. What could Mr. Held do ? He gave <me long despairing glance at his tall, fine figure in the glass, and thought of the charming Bertha whom he, as best man, was to escort to the altar he had contemplated this pleasure for •weeks, and now he was to be undressed like a naughty boy in the middle of the day! He was angry with himself that he had strutted before the glass and called the Judge's attention to his dress •nit, but some one had to suffer, evi­ dently, and so Charley resigned his new clothes to his enraptured friend. It took Judge Winkler but a moment Slip into the dress suit, and soon he had arrived at the church, escorted by Dm faithful Charley, who had donnet. the perforated morning coat and the trousers. Winkler was the of men, and Charley one of "saddest, as he walked up the aisle the lovely Bertha on his arm, at he dared not look, for fear she wvrald break offher engagement with hftn. An hour lirter the newly-married pair went in the cars steaming away to Greenwald, where they were to pass their honeymoon. The Judge had bribed the guard to give them a sepa­ rate carriage. Ho had thrown off his |overeoat and sat with his arm around his wife, pressing her tight against Charley Held's dress coat. "My dear husband, did you not as­ sure me that you never smoked?" the newly-wed spouse demanded. "You are certainly right my little darling," the Judge replied: "I never smoke." "Well, what is that in your coat J>ocket?" the girl asked, smiling. "It is nothing but my note-book," the Judge answered. "A note-book, indeed," cried Mrs. Winkler. "I will bet anything it is a Cigar-ease." About half a minute later the young *rife had thrust her nimble fingers in her husband's pocket and had drawn Out a real, true cigar-case, and Such a cigar-case--all embroidered und perfumed, and bearing on its back this Inscription: "To my dearest." Casting an angry and astonished look at her husband, Mrs. Winkler said: "What made you deny the fact that you smoked ? Did you think I would be displeased ? But toll me," she added, in a changed voice, "who embroidered this case for you?" "Now I am in a predicament," the Judge thought to himself, and laughed nervously, at which his wife seemed to regard him with increased displeasure. "This cigar-case belongs to a friend of mine," he stammered. This is a pretty tale," cried Mrs. Winkler, and she drew out of the side of the card-case a perfumed, pink-hued note, folded in a lovers' knot. Tllo cars stopped for a while, and Judge Winkler left the train that he might procure some fruit for his bride. While the Judge was absent his wife utilized his absence in perusing the note, which ended with "Your always loving Bertha." This capped the climax. Here she was on her wedding tour, just begin­ ning life with a man who could deceive her so shamefully. She was almost wild with anger and pain. When Judge Winkler returned with the lunch his wife would not speak to him. She had aken another seat and refused even to look at him. As the train approached a second stopping place Judge Wink­ ler, almost beside himself, exclaimed: "Aurelia, you must listen--you must answer me! Speak, and let me hear how I have had the misfortune to offend my soul's idol!" - Aurelia seated herself opposite her husband. She looked him straight in the eyes and said: "I intend to leave you at the next station." "Great heaven! you surely do not mean what you say. Tell me, I implore you, what has happened and how I nave offended you!" Judge Winkler cried, now thoroughly astonished. "I shall leave you and return to my parents in Berlin," the young wife said bursting into tears. "What for? What have I done?" asked the bewildered judge. "You are a hypocrite, a traitor, a fiend. You have broken your poor wife's heart and made a miserable wo­ man out of a trusting bride," the girl cried, weeping bitterly. "My dear girl calm, yourself--tell me what is the matter. Only speak, I beg you," said the Judge, trying to calm Anrelia's excitement. "Dearest love--" he began. "I am not your dearest love," cried Aurelia. "It is your 'always loving Bertha,' who is your dearest love, you vile wretch." "But I have no 'always loving Ber­ tha,' " echoed the Judge. "You must be crazy, Aurelia." "I wish to heaven I was crazy; then I would be deaf to your villainy," cried Aurelia. "Here, take your love-letter and let me go," she said, handing him the rose-colored note. The Judge glanced at the note, and, laughing wildly, he struck his forehead with his open hand. "I see it all now!" he cried. "This, of course, came out of the cigar-case, and the cigar-ca3e came out of Char­ ley's pocket. My darling wife, I hftve commenced our married life wrong by concealing something fron you, which, perhaps, I should have acknowledged at the beginning. That wretch of 9 tailor failed to send my wedding-clothes home in time. My packed trunk had heen sent to the cars, and an old, torn suit was all I had in my rooms. This Charley's coat; the cigar-case is Chaley's, and the 'ever loving Bertha* is also Charley's--thank heaven!" "Then, my dear husband, I am your only love?" demanded Mrs. Winkler, smiling through her tears. You certainly are," the happy Judge declared. Aurelia kissed the cigar-case as well as her husband. You must always recall this event," she said laughing. "And you must re­ member this, that a husband should never conceal anything from his own dear wife." "And you must remember this, my little wife," returned the Judge, "that a wife Bhould never search her hus­ band's pockets." The young wile ^acknowledged her fault It shall never happen again," she declared. Will she keep her word? We doubt it--Chicago Inter Ocean. is IRK SMS Fwttjr Mimes Who ITae Their DiMNKtoi In Making them Sound l'leiuuuit. "There are fashions in the names of women as well as in their apparel, jew­ els and ornaments, and in their hours of rising and retiring," was the learned observation made by a stylish little Brooklyn sprite, still in her teens. "It is just as easy to change your name a little, to twist it around and make it nice and striking, as it is to put on a new dress. No young lady can be fashionable now unless her first name ends in ie. Theresa must be Tessie; Caroline, Carrie; Elizabeth, Bessie or Lizzie; Gertrude, Gertie; Harriet, Hattie; Ellen,Nellie; Frances, Fannie; Martha. Mattie; Hose, Rosalie; Abi­ gail, Abbie; Adelaide, Addie, and so on to the end of the charming chap­ ter. You know my name is Dadie, but it was not always that I was baptized Mary, but in the present condition of society it wonld be outre to wear such an ordinary name, although I do know plenty of real nice Marys." "Suppose you had been christened Cornerstone, or Yseult, how would you twist the name around?" "I'd call a council t>f my friends," she responded with great energy, "and we'd kill both Cornerstone and Yseult --such monstrous names--in shorter time than it takes to pronounce them?" _ Nothwithstanding the decided posi­ tion taken by the Brooklyn belle, the name Mary is by far the most popular of those "worn" in the present day, and there is no immediate likelihood that any of its rivals shall be able success­ fully to contest its supremacy till the nineteenth century shall have been buried with the ages that have gone. A careful study of the subject of female names, made from records and personal observation, proves that those which sugar-coated belles look upon as com­ monplace and old-fashioned, are still largely in the ascendant, and are cherished by the masses of the people, while those of the ie pattern are con­ fined to a rather narrow circle. Four separate tables of female names wero prepared by the writer from the city directory, the first being those whose surnames commenced with Yon and Van; the second, those prefined Le and La; the third, the Macs and O's, and the fourth those of a general character supposed to represent per­ sons of American birth. In every in­ stance Marys outnumber all their com­ petitors by nearly two to one, the names Catharine, Ann, Ellen, Margaret, Elizabeth and Sarah follow in differ­ ent positions according to the nation­ ality of the person whom they repre­ sented. In the names essentially German the order of precedence was as follows, the number of each being in the propor­ tion of the figures given: Mary, 30; Elizabeth, 16; Ann or Anna, 15; Sarah, 12; Catharine, 11; Ellen and Julia, (I each; Susan, Louise and Isabella, 4 each; Jane and Caroline, 3 each; Har­ riet, Rachel, Hannah, Frances, Martha, Amanda, 2 each; other favorite names being Bertha, Barbara, Phoebe, Eu­ genie, Henrietta, Janet, Emily, Ade­ laide, Josephine, Wilhelmina, Priscilla, Sophia, Diana and Charlotte. Again in the French names Mary or Marie takes the lead, outstripping all rivals by over two to one. Catharine and Margaret follow in equal numbers, while Sarah takes the fourth place. Then come Charlotte, Joanna, Henri­ etta, Liza, Helen, Barbara, Amelia, Blanche, Pauline, Vivian, Josephine, Adelaide, Martha, Anna, Theresa, Vic­ toria, Matilda and Sophia in about equal numbers. Other popular names not in such general use are Laura, Caroline, Honorine, Lyzia, Emily, .Eleanor, Esther, Susanna, Eva, Harriet, Janet, Lisette, Eliee and Frances. Among the Macs and the O's the figures given will indicate the favor with which the several names are re­ garded: Mary, 75; Catharine, 45; Margaret, 31; Ellen, 30; Ann or Anna, 15; Bridget, 20; Elizabeth and Lizzie, 12; Nora and Honora, 10; Johannah, 7; Jane, 7; Sarah, 5; Lucy and Julia, 3 each; Agnes, Alice, Barbara and Hannah 2 each; then follow Anastasia, Emma, Emily, Harriet, Caroline, Cece­ lia, Esther, Abigail, Dora, Fanny, Laura and Matilda in or near the order named. Although this array of figures is taken from the record, the young ladies whose names are printed most fre­ quently in the newspapers in connec­ tion with the dazzling social events belong to {he ie select class. At the last fashionable wedding of the season in this city, the bride was printed Car­ rie on the cards, the bridesmaids being Fannie, Georgie, Marie, Marion, Helen, and Belle. At the last reception given in the White House by President Ar­ thur, the names Tillie, Jessie, Birdie, and Cora figured most prominently in the newspaper reports. At the Cleve­ land inauguration ball the ie's were ahead, among them being Lillie, El lie, Annie, Susie, Birdie, Vinnie, Addie, Fannie, Hattie, Gertie, Paddie, and Allie. The names Phoebe, Sara, and Lillian were in general favor however, on that historic occasion.--New York Mail and Express. Sights in Tokio.. Journying along the streets of Tokio in a coolie carriage,you will be surprised at the strange sights and sounds, if you are a newcomer. A few months, or at most a full year, suffices to wear off the keen edge of novelty, and the things that once looked startling and strange lose the aspect of the strange and become simply ordinary. However, there are a few things which belong to the old life of the country, and are somewhat emphasized by being brought in con­ tact with the new. One style of ar­ ranging the hair, still in use by men of the lower classes, consists of a cleanly shaved strip from the brow to the crown, or, perhaps, a little further back. The hair on either side, above the ears, is then oiled abundantly, both sides being gathered into one roll, like an old-faBhioned New England "dough­ nut;" it is brought foreward and then curled back on itself and cut squarely off. The peculiarity of the process of hair-dressing is that, according to the old method, it is done in a shop-door or on the street You may occasional WWW. The English Girl as a Tippler. An English girl (society) can drink American girl "blind drunk." Bough statement. But true. Wine plentiful at reception. Wants her glass filled often. What's lacking in liberty she makes up in toddy. Have filled it my­ self. Till her eyes watered. Roseate hue tipped her nose. Fact Repress human nature at top and it bursts at bottom. Philosophy. American girl at 18 knows more of life, its surround­ ings, embellishments, crooks, cranks, turns, and windings, highways and by­ ways than the average English woman ever will know. Cause, more experi­ ence. Trusted more alone. Can look riLl0iLher8tlf- C,an distinguish ® ly see a man submitting "patiently to r„^fr * hay-nck.,and sense from i barber-ous treatment Passing bv a taffy. More Bnap. More go. More benzine. More lightning. Usually captures average Englishman di­ rectly. Amazes, shocks, but delights him. Can't make her out. But calls again. Surrenders uncondi­ tionally. Reason why American girls marry so many titled Britons.--John Thomas, in Boston Globe. Passing shop you see cords 0/ wood cut into small blocks about six inches long. This, you learn, is nothing short of shoe-timber. These cords of wood will speedily be converted into shoes of va­ rious sizes, at prices ranging all the way from 4 to 20 cents. One feels quite exalted in a pair of 20 cent shoes. The wood is called kiri, and is very light. The clogs are still further lightened by hollowing out the center. So, in point of fact, there is little truth Good Cement. Stir to a thick batter with a silicate -- of soda, twelve parts Portland cement, in calling the shoes heavy, although six parts slaked lime, six parts fine they appear so to the inexperienced lead, one part infusoria earth. Very observer. It must be admitted, though, excellent for marble and alabaster, that they are unreasonably clumsy. J16 °̂ eĉ uee(l not be heat-. Sometimes the shoes worn by the ladies ed. After twenty-four hours the frac- are lacquered, and are fastened by a "L ,m' an<* 'k® Pl*ce can -with velvet band passing from either side difficulty be found. j over the lower part of the instep, and TwP'gwWBW" - between Wte first and seoon& toe* With ftp! #nie kind of wood is made bureattsprovided with strong iron han­ dles, and the whole box is adjustable in horizontal sections, one piled above another. Owing to the lightness of the wood, these boxes may be filled with clothing and carried off on the shoulders of a coolie in case of fires, which so often vex the people of Tokio. --Letter from Japan to Chicago Times. The Ocean. "The ocean says to the. dweller on its shores: "'You are neither welcome nor un­ welcome. I do not trouble myself tfith the living tribes that come down to my Waters. I have my own people, an older race than yours, that grow to mightier dimensions that your mastodons and elephants; more numerous than all the swarms that fill the air or move over the thin crust of the earth. Who are you that build your gay palaces on my margin? I see your white faces as I saw the dark feces of the tribes that came before you, as I shall look upon the unknow family of mankind that will come after you. And what is your whole human family but a parenthesis in a single page of my history ? The raindrops stereotyped themselves on my beaches before a living creature left his footprints there. The horse­ shoe-crab I fling at-your feet is of older lineage than your Adam,--unless, per­ haps, you count your Adam as his de­ scendant What feeling have I for you? Not scorn--not hatred--not love --not loathing -- No! -- indifference-- blank indifference to you and your af­ fairs, that is my feeling, say rather ab­ sence of feeling, as regards you. Oh yes, I will lap your feet, I will cool you in the hot summer day, I will bear you up in my strong arms, I will rock you on my rolling undulations, like a babe in his cradle. Am 1 not gentle ? Am I not kind ? Am I not harm­ less? But hark! The wind is raising, and the wind and I are rough playmates! - What do you say to my voice now? Do you see my foaming lips? Do you feel the rocks tremble as my great billows crash against them? Is not my anger terrible as I dash your argosy, your thunder - bearing frigate, into frag­ ments, as you would crack an egg­ shell? No, not anger: deaf, blind, un­ heeding indifference--that is all. Out of me all things arose; sooner or later, all things subside. All changes around me; I change not. I look not at you, vain man, and your frail transitory con­ cerns, save in momentary glimpses: I look on the white face of my dead mis­ tress, whom I follow as the bridegroom follows the bier of her who has changed her nuptial raiment for the shroud. " 'Ye whose thoughts are of eternity, come dwell at my side. Continents and isles grow old, and waste, and disap­ pear. The hardest rock crumbles; vegetable and animal kingdoms come into beiDg, wax great, decline, and per­ ish, to give- way to others, even as hu­ man dynasties and nations and races come and go. Look on me! "Time writes no wrinkle" on my forehead. Listen to me! All tongues are spoken on my shores, but I have only one language: the wnds taught me their vowels; the crags and the sands schooled me in my rough or smooth consonants. Few words are mine, but I have whispered them and sung them and shouted them to men of all tribes from the time when the first wild wan­ derer strayed into my awful presence. Have you a grief that gnaws at your heart-strings? Come with it to my shore, as of old the priest of far-dart­ ing Apollo carried his rage and anguish to the margin of the loud-roaring sea. There, if anywhere, you will forget your private and Bhort-lived woe, for my voice speaks to the infinite and the eternal in your consciousness*--4?. W. Holmes, in the Atlantic. The Origin of Life. "Men of science," says Proctor anent a recent speculation on supposed or­ ganic remains found in a meteorite, 'may amuse themselves by speaking of life being brought to the earth by the arrival of a meteor, in reality a frag­ ment of some once peopled world which has been destroyed by conflict with an­ other or by internal disturbance. But this is a more scientific jest than a grave reality. Astronomy knows noth­ ing of worlds coming in conflict On the contrary, the laws of motion assure us that if anything is so unlikely that it may be regarded as absolutely im­ possible, it is the encounter of two orbs in mid space; nor have we any reason to suppose that a planet can be rent into fragments by internal convulsions. If we had, we have not the slightest reason for suppesmg that orbs thus unfortunate would be more likely to be inhabited than their more lucky worlds. If these inhabited already, we gain nothing by bringing to them the fragments of other worlds which have exploded; and if they were not inhab­ ited, while the burst or shattered worlds were, we are called on to imag­ ine the absurdity that only inhabited world are liable to destruction, for the benefit of those which^ are without in­ habitants. To which absurdity this is superadded, that the seeds of life would survive the destruction of their planet home, and the journeyings through millions on millions of years which science assures us they would have to make through the cold of in­ terstellar space before they would fall on any other world. And all these absurdities to no purpose, so far as the origin of life is concerned, for they^ take us back but a step, which bringc us in reality no nearer to all life." The Legend of the Beautiful Hand. There was a dispute among three ladies as to which had the most beauti­ ful hand. One sat by a stream and dipped her hand into the water, and held it up; another plucked straw­ berries until the ends of her fingers were pink; and another gathered vio­ lets until her hands were fragrant An old, haggard woman passing by asked: "Who will give me a gift, for I am poor ?" All three denied her; but another, who sat near, unwashed in the stream, unstained with fruit, unadorned with flowers, gave her a little gift, and satisfied the poor woman. And then she asked them what was the dispute, and they told her, and lifted up before her their beautiful hands. "Beautiful indeed," said she when she saw them. But when they asked her which was the most beautiful, she said, "It is not the hand that is washed clean in the brook, it is not the hand that is tipped with red, it is not the hand that is gar­ landed with fragrant flowers, but the hand that gives to the poor is the most beautiful." And as she said these words her wrinkles fled, her staff was thrown away, and she stood before them an angel from heaven with au­ thority to decide the question in dis­ pute. And that decision has stood the test of all time. There is nothing better than a good wife, and nothing worse than a bad one --Hesiod. Caused Ijr Improper Treatment of Attention. "Improper treatment of the feet and lack of attention to their needs is the cause of many disorders and nervous affections," remarked a physician the other day to a school teacher who had applied to him to get relief for "cold feet and headaches." "Now, the per­ son who has cojliI feet is almost sure to have a headache," he continued, "for the fact that the feet are cold shows that the circulation is weak. The blood not circulating freely in the ex­ tremities crowds into the upper por­ tion of the body, and the pressure on the blood vessels of the head, of course, occasion headache. Feet that are al­ most constantly cold tend to cause con­ gestion of the internal organs. The blood-vessels of these cold feet become narrowed by the lack of flow of the vital fluid to them, thus perpetuating and increasing the difficulty. Those who are troubled in this way should take plenty of exercise in the open air and soak their feet in warm water every night This counteracts the tendency to congestion, enlarges the vessels, and helps permanently to re­ lieve the feet of their special tendency tocoldness. "Feet that perspire and emit a bad odor should be washed every night, too. After they have been bathed a 2 per cent, solution of carbolic acid should be applied. 1 he stockings, too, should be changed daily and the boots should have inner soles that can be taken out each day and likewise dipped in a 2 per cent, solution of carbolic acid. The reason that this process is necessary is that the bad odor is due to microscopic organisms and the acid kills them. The soldiers of the Bavarian army are required to bathe their feet every day, and rub them with a pomade composed of two parts of salicylic acid in 100 parts mutton tallo\p, to prevent perspiration. Each soldier is provided with twenty-nine grammes of this po­ made. "Most feet can be kept soft and healthy by soaking them in water as hot as can be borne before retiring, using ammonia and soap freely. They should then be rubbed briskly with a rough bath towel, and glycerine, mixed •with an equal part of carbolic acid 2 per cent, strong, applied to them. Mutton or beef tallow will do instead of the glycerine. "Another thing that helps keep the feet cold is the conventional shoe. Even if the shoes you wear are large enough, which they very seldom are, they would pull the muscles of the feet awry, pinch up the bones in one place and let them spread out in an­ other until they could have no natural action, and, consequently, the circula­ tion is interfered with. Yes, yes, I know," the physician added, testily, as the young ladv opened her mouth in a mild protest, "that a loose shoe could be quite as uncomfortable as a tight one. I know the shoe ought to fit as closely as the stocking, and that a loose- fitting shoo is as productive of corns and discomfort as one that pinches. But where it should be tight, young lady, is around the ankle, across the in­ step, around the arch of the foot and the heel. But the front half should have a large sole and a loose upper. Then the bones in that part of your foot will have plenty of room for move­ ment. With the kind of shoes you are now wearing these bones are all squeezed together and the joints almost telescoped. Of course your feet can't help being cold. No; I can't give you any medicine for it Get yourself a sensible pair of boots, take care of your feet as I have advised you, and you'll have no more trouble.--Chicago Neiod. The Advance of Theology. From a paper by George lies, in the Popular Science Monthly, entitled "Religion Without Dogmas," is ex­ tracted the following: Applying the method of science to an examination of theology, it appears to consist in an attempt at explaining the facts of Nature, and the sanctions of duty, in distant ages of scant knowl­ edge. Its scriptual revelations come down to us through centuries of un­ trustworthy custodians, and when they reach us at last they are not revelations, and must be judged by the canons of criticism which we apply to other de­ partments of literature. Every theol­ ogy, no matter how emphatic its asser­ tion of supernatural source, bears about it the plain marks of its human origin. The conceptions of God vary with the zones and closely parallel the grades of culture in which they arise. The commandments called divine be­ come more elevated as the civilization of people advances. The disciples of a prophet or apoBtle direct the noble impulses he has implanted in their hearts to broaden his teachings and correct his orrors. Contrast the al­ most human tribal God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob with the lofty idea of the Deity entertained by Isaiah. Com­ pare this latter again, with the uni­ versal Father whom Jesus taught his followers to worship. Mark the cum­ brous legality and ritualism of the Old Testament and its silence respecting the future life; how different this from the teaching of Jesus, who exalted the spirit above the letter, valued love more than sacrifice, and assured his hearers of an immortality which made this world but a temporary scene of trial and probation! Note how the high-minded Paul saw nothing repre­ hensible in slavery, and compare that with the humanity of an age which gives even dumb animals rights against their owners. The evolution of thought in general is fully exemplified by thought in theology, nothwithstanding its assertion of a sacred fixity. John Wesley, sensible man that he was, said that, if he were to give up his faith in witchcraft, he would give up the Bible. Yet his followers have dropped the witchcraft, and kept the Bible. Hew He dot His Title. "Were you actively engaged in the late war ?" asked a stranger in Austin . of Gen. Jeff Blakeman. "O, yes, I was very actively engaged in shipping cotton to Europe during the war." "Then how did you come to be called 'General?'" "Well, you see, I made money during the war, and afterwards the boys came home poor, and wanted to borrow a lit­ tle money. I generally loaned it to them, and that is how I came to be called 'General,' and it has stuck to me ever since."--Texan Sifting h. Women in Europe. Since 1870 women have been ad­ mitted to universities in Sweden, Nor­ way, Russia, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, and France. At St. Petersburg in 1882 ninety-nine young women were given degrees in the literary and historical department and sixty-four in the scien­ tific department--The Current, Thk sparkle of repentant tears reach­ es Heaven. Africa. The Blira Cqyal Geographical (So­ ciety's expedition to Mount Kerria and Lake Vurtoria Nyanza, in 1883-4, the account of whioh has just been pub­ lished in England, was fruitful in the collection of interesting information concerning the snow-clad volcanic mountains and the strange tribes of eastern equatorial Africa. It is stated that a more charming region cannot be found in all Africa. Though lving at a general elevation of 6,000 feet, it is not mountainous, but extends in bil­ lowy, swelling reaches, characterized by everything that makes a pleasing landscape. There are great parks, en­ livened by groups of game. Vast herds of cattle or flocks of sheep and goats can be seen wandering knee-deep in j ^ pastures. The climate and flora of the district by no means realize the popular idea of the tropics. I he eye rests upon coniferous trees, forming pine-like woods; while sprigs of heath, sweet-scented clover, ane­ mone, and other familiar forms can be readily gathered. Within a mile of the equator Mr. Thomson, the leader of the expedition, found his camp en­ veloped in a dense Soo.tch mist, very cold, while the grass was sprinkled with hoar frost. On another occasion a violent hail-storm * burst over the ex­ ploring party, and the country lav ab­ solutely white for sixteen hours. This elevated region is traversed north and south by a lofty chain of mountains, termed "The Aberdare Range," the land further westward suddenly sink­ ing down into a trough 2,000 feet be­ low the general level of the table land, and inclosed by almost precipitous "escarpment walls." This is thei stronghold of the Massar tribes, who are described as robbers and black­ mailers by profession, and the "biggest bullies of Africa." A line of lakes oc­ cupies the lowest level of the trough and receives,its rainfall, the two chief lakes being' Naivasha and Baringo. The latter has no visible outlet, while its basin of eighteen miles by ten re­ ceives a large volume of water in the iorjn of some half a dozen considerable streams. The level of the lake, how­ ever, rises very little, and to make the enigma more complete, the water is quite sweet and harbors enormous numbers of fish, with hippopotami and crocodiles, although it is certainly per­ plexing to understand where the last named can have come from. Mr. Thomson's narrative is full of other wonders, for he tells us of the mysteri­ ous caves of Ligonyi, cut into the hard rock for unknown distances all round a particular level in a mountain twenty miles in circumference, and so enorm­ ous in size as to be able to contain whole villages and herds of cattle. The exploring party satisfied themselves that these caves were purely of artifi­ cial origin, and that they had been hewn out in search for the precious metals, but who the people were, by whom they were constructed, and whither they have gone, remains for the present "one of the strangest prob­ lems of African arch;eology." An idea of the sport he had in these regions of eastern equatorial Africa may be gath­ ered from the fact that on one Occasion four rhinoceroses, four zebras, one giraffe, and four antelopes fell before the rifle of the leader of the expedition in six hours. In the broken country around Lake Baringo elephants were met with in great numbers; at Lake Naivasha herds of antelope raced with­ in a stone-throw of the camp; while even in the most desert tracks trav­ ersed between Kilimanjaro and the Victoria Nyanza "big game" waa met with in profusion. German Legends. Germany is the land of legends. Every district, too, has its own peculiar character. In east Friesland the sto­ ries are dark, stern, at times tragic. Even wheh heathen in their origin, they have been remodeled by the spirit of a firm Protestant faith. In central Germany, they are brighter and more humorous, occasionally more grotesque. The deepest note they touch is a cer­ tain pensive tenderness; and hardly a trace of conscious Christianity is to"be found among them, though here and there in the memory of a saint now forgotten in the district may be found a strange combination with other ma­ terials. In the Austrian Alps, again, they are more graceful, imaginative, pathetic, and almost invariably strongly colored by Catholicism. Thus, the Frau Berchta or Frau Hohle of other districts here becomes the wife of Pi­ late, to whom popular fancy has as­ signed a sad but ignoble fate in the other world. As she confessed the truth and yet was not baptized, her spirit is doomed to wander through the earth until the judgment day, and to her the souls of all unbaptized chil­ dren are gathered. Summer nights, she leads them through the corn and the flax fields, where they pick off the mildewed ears and harmful insects, and bear them away in their little pitchers; but in winter, particularly about Christ­ mas time, the strange procession will sometimes pass through a village in which an inconsolate mother dwells, and then a little hand will tap at the window, and when the mourner looks out she will see her child, no longer the baby they carried to the church­ yard six months ago but a bright little thing whom, if it had a living body, one would take to be three or four years old. Yet she knows at once that it is her own, and it' says: "Mother you must stop crying. All your tears ifall into my pitcher; it has grown so heavy that I can hardly carry it, and they drip down on mv clothes and make them so cold and cumbersome that I can scarcely keep up with the rest" If the mother glances down the street, she will see a form so bright "that you might have taken it for Our Lady's," with a throng of little chil­ dren crowding around her, "as if they loved her." _____ Not lip to the Style.* * Mistress--What in the world are you doing, Bridget ? Don't you know that you are spoiling the very best silver pitcher I have in the world. Why are you hammering it out of shape in that manner? Bridget (new servant who is very desirous of pleasing)--Faith, mum, I was only tryin' to do my best, mum. You told me for to bring down the hammered-silver pitcher, an' as I couldn't foind the loikes of it, I fetched this plain one, an* thought that I would be after pleasing ye, mum, by hammer- in' it wid this 'ere big hamxner.---Phila­ delphia Call. In St. Louis. "Let go my ear?" yelled a passenger on a West Side street car. "I beg your pardon," said the other man; "I thought I had hold of the strap'"--Norristown Herald. It's a favorite theory of mine that loaning cash on security is more profit­ able than borrowing trouble on princi­ ple.--Barbers' Gazette. Be pleaaantafcdltfcjdt© those around you. The man who stirs his cup with an icicle spoils the tea and ohuls his fingers.--Lowell Courier. HWhat is laughter ?" asks a edentist. It is what you don't hear when yott find your wife sitting up for you after the club.--New York Graphic. Yoc can buy a live polar bear for a thousand dollars. Cheap enough. We'd rather buy one for two thousand dol­ lars any time than to catch one for fif­ teen cents.--Brooklyn Eagle. ' THE SAME OLD OAIOE. . J Tea, "Polo" it is, on roller ekotas, ' You antiquated ninnv. ^ Don't give it away. When wo were bdytif We always called it "shinny." ~-Cincinrmti Merchant Traveler. A Boston lady who wanted to know when Elizabeth Barrett Browning was born, wrote to Robert Browning to find out His answer was: "I know neither the day, month nor year of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's birth. It is a sub­ ject upon which I have never had the slightest curiosity." Mr. Browning may tell that to the marines. --Exchange. "You don't call on Miss G. now." "No, weve quit." "Quit! What's the difficulty?" "O, her father is too pe­ nurious." "Too penurious? Why, he has the reputation of being particularly liberal." "Perhaps he has, but he told me the other evening I'd better leave, as he couldn't afford to waste shoe- leather on me. It's my private opinion that that man would skin a flea for its hide and tallow."--Exchange. Dandy dude, Big high collar, * 7. In his ixx-ket ; . , ; : , . . . N o t a d o l l a r . ; S | ; Ne'er was known 1 ". .. To have nrach casta, • Dtido is strictly . ' V. On the mash. Dude drinks Very Little booze; Wears tight pants And tooth-pick shoes. Thinks that he is Clever cove, Always smiles „ . And saya "ba-jove." --SvantoUle Argus. Fikst officer: ."That was a very mysterious case of suicide last night, wasn't it He was young, well-dressed, and apparently well-to-do. Not a bit like the ordinary suicide." Second of­ ficer : "I don't see that there was any­ thing very mysterious about it It struck me that it was a very ordinary case/' "But there was nothing found on him to indicate the cause for the deed." "O yes, there was." "What was it ?" "His marriage certificate."-- Exchange. "What is that you say? Harry mar- riecji! Well, I'll never believe in men again." "Why?" "The oaths of love that man swore to me!" "Well, but you threw him over. You've been mar­ ried three months." "I don't care. He was so devoted to me; and when Jack proposed to me and I accepted Harry declared that he would be true to my memory and mourn me as one dead to him." "Well, it's of no consequence now to you." "He might have gone into mourning for a year anyhow."*-- Exchange. Irate Chicago dealer--"I shall stand this trifling no longer. If you don't bring the money for that jewelry within a week I will send the bill to your husband, and you know very well what a row he will raise." Fair Chicagoan --"Send it! Send it to him right off. Do. Perhaps you think you know his address?" "I know his residence. He lives where you do, of course." "Oh! no he don't; not now. I got a divorce from him yesterday, and thia morning he eloped with your wife. So there now."--Philadelphia Call. "There, Bridget," said the lady of the house kindly to the new girl, who was suffering with cramps, "you take this mustard plaster I have made for you and keep perfectly quiet, and in the morning I think you will find your­ self better." In the morning Bridget was able to be about, but she looked far from well. "Oi tuk the plastber, mum," she said, "an' oi kep' parfectly quiet, but it wuz mesilf that felt loike soraimin' an' yellin' mum." * Oh, they are apt to burn a little." "Burrun, is it! Indade, mum, an' me throat is D§ raw as fresh mate."--Ingleside. | WHY THE EDITOR SWOtlE. With a terrific cold in his head, And his eyelids heavy and sore, The editor sat in his broken chair, And bitterly, earnestly swore. t A youth had dropped in with a poem, And was there with a dun. And a chap had entered to tell him How the paper ought to be run. An irate subscriber had told him That his sheet wasn't fit to be read. While another had carefully promised To punch the editor's head. The forman was yelling for copy, --- And the wind whistled in at the door. And this, witli a few other reasons, . Is why the editor swore. But the angel who took it to heaven, Recorded this verdict there: "The jury find in the present case, 'Twas a justifiable swear." --Exchange. A New Textile. The Indian Rhea plant possesses such a tenacious fiber that it was long ago pointed out that it would be of great value for various manufacturing purposes; but difficulty stood in the way, because of there being no machine known by which the grower could pro­ duce from it a clean and unbroken liber fit for market Thereupon the Indian Government offered a valuable prize to the inventor of the coveted machine. Such a machine has been invented. Its main feature consists of an iron drum upon which several metal beaters are bolted. As it revolves a jet of water releases the refuse loosened by the beaters and also softens the gummy matter by which the fibers are bound together. The cost of the machine is small and it can be driven by steam or by bullocks. It is anticipated that this invention will open up a new source of textile industry, and will be especially valuable in certain districts of India, where the Rhea plant grows wild and has been hitherto looked upon as 1 bering the ground. Maddening Acquiescence. "Tryto avoid debating with people," says Mr. Spurgeon. The reverend is correct Nothing in all this irritating old world will make the other man lose his head so completely and get him so howling mad as for you to keep per­ fectly quiet just when you know he is getting the better of you, and look at him with an exasperating smile.of con­ scious superiority and pity. But you must look out that he doesn't brain you with a table leg.--Burdeite, in Brook* I lyn Eagle. Domestic Life in Utah. "Father," said a Mormon youngster* "can I go to the circus to-day?" "You must ask your mother," replied the elder. "Well, she's gone out Shall I ask my little sister's mother ?"--Brooklyn Union. A man who marries simply to procure a housekeeper usually finds out that he could hire one of any color cheaper. Ant truth, faithfully faced, is strength in itself. • • :V.V, 2 ' : . Vr.. J „ t * SjLtd.: