J(cjewy piaiiSealer. Published Kv«'y Wednesday by SLYBCK BDITOt AND PUBLISHER. V Office in Bishop's Bloc*, ' --OrsoliTB PKKKT Jk Owur'i.- ' TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. 9n« Tear (In Advance) *1.80 If Not Paid within Three Months HOB Subscriptions received for (three or six Months in the same proportion. Kates of Advertising:. we announce liberal rates for advertising tn the PLAfNbEALtiR, and endeavor to state them so plainly that they will be readily an. terstood. They are as follows: 1 Inch one year • 5 00 5 Inches one year • . - • 10 OP 3 Inches one year * . - 15 00 If Column one year - • • - • 3000 li Column one year- • . - 6000 Column one year - . - - . 100 00 One inch means the meaiurement of one Hch down the column, single column width. Tearly advertisers,-at the above rates, have the privilege of changing as often as they •hoose, without extra charge. Regular advertisers (meaning those having Standing cards) will be entitled to insertion •f local notices at the rate of 5 cents per line each week. All others will be charged 10 cents per ;ine the fiTst week, and 5 cents per line for each subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged at the rato of 10 cents p« line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) the first Issue, and • cents per line for subsequent issues. Thus, an inch advertisement will cost (1.00 for one week, (1.50 for two weeks, (2.00 for three weeks, and so on. The PLAINDRALBR will be liberal in giving tdltorial notices, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable fee from everybody seeking the use of its columns for pecuniary gain. BUSINESS CARDS. H. T. BROWN, M. I>. AN AND SURGE* Residence, McHenry, 111. pHYSlCIAN AND SURGEON. Office at C. H. FEGERS, M, D- DlirslCiAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, I Ills. Office at Residence. O. J. HOWARD, M. D. |>HTSIOIAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, I 111. Office one door West of Fltzalmmons A Branson's store, up stairs. BARBIAN BROS. DIGAR Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or-ders solicited. Shop, la Old McHenrv, in Keiter Block, third door west of Riverside House. WASHINGTON, D. C The popular palace hotel of the National Capital. Conveniently located and accessible to all the street car lines of the city. Open all the year. ^ Q gTAPLES, PROPRIETOR. L»t» of the Thousand Island House. ROBT SCHIESSLE Having purchased the old stand of Joseph Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, JfcHENRY, ILLINOIS, Keeps open for the accommodation of the Public a Blrst-Olass Saloon a&d Restaurant, Where lie will at all times keep the|best brands of Wines, Liquors and Cigars to be found in the market. Also Agent For FRANZ FALK'8 MILWAUKEE LAGER BEER Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al- ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quail* ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended to. GOOD STAB rcall and seeji NG FOB HOUSES. Robert Schlessle. McHenry, 111., May 15th, M A R C U S ' GERMAN Manufactured by f. MARGUS, -dealer IN- PURE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. Woodstock, III. The best Tonic in the world. Pat up in Pint and Quart Bottles. r. MARCU8. Patentee. DONT YOU FORGET IT! USA W. SMITR, -or- Wood&< oolc, * « Illinois. Backed by Millions of money, offea yoo INDEMNITY against damage by # fire, Lightning, Wind 8t«rm«, CYCLONES AND TORNADO*S Drop me a postal card and I will visit you: call on me and I will write you a policy, and wnen either or any of these destructive ele ments devastates your property, happy will you be if you hold one of my policies, for I will surety visit yon, and fminister unto you. Will not forsake you. juu. w. sunH, Om'iJmtmmet Agt BUSINESS ASA W. SMITH, TTORNEY AT LAW and Solicitor tn Chancery.--Woodstock, UL S. F. BENNETT, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Also United States Examining Surgeon. Richmond, Illinois. •. 8. CHILD* M. IX, HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, West McHenry, III. Calls promptly attended to, day or night. DR. C. R. WELLS. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, Wauconda, IT Lake Co., III. All calls promptly attend ed, day or night. Office on Main St., east of ed. Barker's harness shop. MARY G. BARBIAN. HAIR WORKER. All kinds of Hair Work dene in flrst class style and at reasonable prices. Rooms at residence, north- east corner of Public Square, MoHenry, 111. DR. a K. WILLIAMS. DENTIST. Residence Dundee. Will t>e at McHenry, at Parker House, the 10th 11th 25th and 26th of each month. When dates occur Saturday or Sunday I make my visits on the following Monday,and the flrst day of such visit occurs on Friday, I will stay but one day. A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker und Jeweler NO. 55 FIFTH AVE., (Briggs House), Chicago, 111. Special attention given to re pairing Fine watches and Chronometers. SSPA Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLt> STAND, JACOB BONSLETT, ^•ALOON AND RESTAURANT, at the Old j stand, opjM)«ite Bishop's mill, McHenry, 111. The choicest Wines, Liquors an«t Cigars to be fuund in the county. Warm or cold meals on short notice on application. PHIL BEST'S MILWAUKEE BEER by the $0ttle or Ca&e, always on hand. 4HJOD STABLING FOR HORSB8. J. PEKOVSKY, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, Wholesale and Retail Dealer# HANDLES nore but his own make, and will compare his Brands with the best made in the Stale. Store and Manufactory next door to r.he Pest Office, McHenrv. Hi. CHAS. H. TRYON. V . DRAINAGE ENGINEER. Levels taken, drains located and grades es tablished for tile and open drains. Elevations taken of springs, ponds and water courses, and alt work requiring accurate leveling. P. O. Address, Greenwood, III. DO YOU KNOW THAT Plug Tobacco, With Red Tin Tag; Rose Leaf Fine Cut Chew mg; Navy Clippings, ami Black, Brown and Yellow Snuffs ure the best and the choieest quality considered. Attention Horsemen! I would call the attentfion of the public to my Stable of Stock Horses, four in uufiiber: two Morgans, one 3-4Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They are all good representatives of their breed. Also a few Merino Sheep IO r sale. The public are cordially invited to call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday. N, S. COLBY. 10-7-tf McHKNBY, ILL PUMP REPAIRING, CEMENTING, ETC. The undersigned is prepared to do all lobe in tbe line of Digging Wells, Repairing Pumps, Cementing Wells, or Will put in New Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. In short will do all work in this line. Can furnish you a new Pump, either wood or iron, warranted, as cheap as any other man. Good references furnished if desired. If you want a Well Dug, a Pump Repaired or a new Pump, give me a call. SSTOrdors bj Post Office, Jot attended to. L. BANTES. Jonnstfurgh, 111., May 25th, 1835, LORiLUMrs r PLOWSHUE'1" Dl I ir» A,k your r Lb U • Dealer for it BOBIBT C. BUraZTT, •BREEDER OF- LiiM FOWLS RICHMOND, IU» (FIRST RRMIVU Kt MCHEMRV OODJFTT FAIR.. My fowls are of the celebrated DUKE OF YORK strain, remarkable for their great sise and laying qualities. I can show a trio of last season's chicks weighing 31 pounds. Eggs, per setting of thirteen. $1.50, delivered to purchaser in Richmond, Shipped, securely peeked, *.80. MOBJUtT a BXXNKTI\ and CARRIAGE Having leased the Wagon andCarriage Shop of Simes A Seison, opposite the Parker House I am i.ow prepared to do all kinds ol work in this line ON SHORT NOllCE, and GUARANTEE SATISFACTION. After a locg experience in the Eureka Oar. riage and Wagon Shops, in Canada, I am con. fldent I can give satlsttction to all who give me their patronage. Repairing df ill Kinds Promptly .Attended tO. M. FOLEY. tfest McHenry, #««« io, 1866. J. C. KARGES, Souse, Sign and Carriage PAINTER, Shop at McHenry House, Near the Iron Bridge. I am prepnred to do all kinds of Painting on fhort notice, and guarantee satisfaction. Sign Painting a Specially. Call andjsee me if in want ol anything in tbe Painting line, as I am satisiie i that I can please you, lioth in workmanship and price, • "J. C. Karges. McHenry, June 15, 1885. ' HE. WIUHTMAN, Proprietor. First class rigs, with or without drivers fbrnished at reasonable rates. Teaming ot all kinds done on short notice. ATTENTION LADIES. MRS. J H, SEXTON, Yor the past ten years one ot the leading Dressmakers in Elgin, has moved to McHenry where she is ready to do Dressmaking in all the latest &tjles.Uiatisfac- tion guaranteed. Cutting and Fitting a specialty. Also agent for the I. X L., Tailor system of Cutting and Fitting. Full instructions given* Rooms two doors West of the Kiverside House. roa BABQAIBS or For Coal and Wood CALL ON E. M. POWE Opposite Btol&op'fli Mill, ho has a complete line of the best stoves in the market, as well as a large stock of EarAware, Meclpc's Tools, rw, COPPER & SHEET WON WARE, And, *ln|fact, everythingjin the hardware stove and tin line. ME WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD. Call at his store before buying elsewhere My attended tc irgams can al. \>ail Ab IIIN SUMU U13HJIC MISSIS** fobbing and repairing promptly attended to WRemember, extra good barg ways be obtained at Howe's. McHenry, Deo. 1,188#. It contains lists of newspaper ofthe cost of advertising. The wants to spend one dollar. 11 A book of 100 page*. Tbe best book for an advertiser to con sult, be he expert enced or otherwise, srs and estimates .e advertiser who wants to spend one dollar, finds in it the in formation ne requires, while forhlm who will Invest one hundred thousand dollars in ad vertising, a scheme is indicated which will meet his every requirement, or eon bemad* to dote bu aUgkt changes easily arrived ai_ by oor' rapomlence. 149 editions have been issued. Sent, post-paid, to any address for 10 cents. Write to GEO. P. BOWKLL t CO, NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING BUREAU. <10 Spruce St. Printing House 8q.)» New Yoik» John Helm, Algonquin, III., DEALER 19 Budwue, Stovw, Tbinm, . In short, we keep everything in the above mentioned lines, which we are offe' ing to the buy ing public as cheap as anx^ other house in this section. Ocill an4 See tus. J0BBN G & BEPAIBINO, PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. JOAN HELM. Algonquin* Feb. 18,180f» The POf.ICE GAZETTE will be mailed, seeurely wrapped, to anv address in the Ualted States for three months on receipt of DOLLAR. T.ibersi discount allowed to postmasters, agents and clubs. Sample copies mailed froe Address all orders to SICKABD k. rax, ISAKKUM SQUARE, New York. Smokers Call For NICKLE TAG, OR S CENT STRAIGHT CIGAR. S I L V E R T A G , Or S for a Quarter Cigar. OR 10 CKX7 STRAIGHT CIGAR. The Finest Goods Ever Offered FOE SALE BY IMt First-Class Dealers. RETAILERS ATTENTION. We advertise the above brands In the lead lag St. Louis dailies, and your name will ap pear among the list of agennies once a week for 60<!ays from (late of last purchase. <^ith first order we send 3 neat and (prottv signs. We have ene price for these good's from which there is no deviation, nainelv: Niekle T»g, $;».00; Silver Tag, *410.00; Gold Tag, f70.00 per 1000. We also e,Hrrv the most extensive line of Domestic, Key "West and Imported Cigars in the country, at bottom prices. Sample orders solicited. Goeds guaranteed. Address. „ „ TAYLOR MF'G 0.,8t Louis, Mo. H. P. HULL, Manager. IBLEY:S *TE8TED« I !.».W ®i'K£{TE„D, feietOlc, Fimr aad'neld SEEDS PIIHTC BU1.BS, fi«K1ht#lSPX HIRAM SIBLEY & CO. ROCHESTER, N. Y. CHICAGO, ILL ,422-326 E. Main St. 200-206 Randolph St W I ^ S L O W ' S "Vineyard" Roller Skates. For the best, most durable and easiest run ning Roller Skates get the "VINETAUO." \TI the })rincipitl ltinks are using the "V iNEVAltD" Roller, i'ut up in all Clamp, Half Clamp and Strapped Complete. The demand for these skates is so great that they are kept in stock by all principal bar i- ware dealers throughout the country. Manufactured by the Inventor and Patentee SAMUEL WIN SLOW, WORCESTER, MA89. PIOTS! Plots! P. HAUPERISCH, MoHenry, Illinois, I inform the farmers of McHenry and surrounding country that he is prepared to sell them a FIRST-CLASS PLOW, An i warrant the same,at a lower price than an •>* purchased elsewhere in the county, Al- Kinds of BLACKSMITH ING, WAGON and i AHR1AGE work promptly attended to. I tEPAIRING, •yfali kinds on short notice. WGive us a tail snd we will please you both in quality in I • rice of work. P. HAUPERISCH. M»tlenry, 111., Oct. 7th, 1884. A. i SAM0H and EESTAUBAIfT Buck's Old Stand, McHENRV, ILLINOIS. Fine Kentucky Liquors, French Bitters, UcHenry Lager Beer, FaUn' HilwaokM Best, By the Bottle or Case. We buy none but the best and sell at Reasonable Prices. Call and see me and { will use you well. ANTONY ENGELN. Mcflenry, 111., 1884, Important to Ruptured Pers The Excelsior Rupture Cure M'f g Ogdensburg, N.T.. guarantee to of reducible H era la with t^i THBEUPTCRE PLASTBR iKI) roi/ND. This treatment is cm best Doctors', Diuggists, and ^Miblic. Send Gets for free book o "lik yoar druggist Cor the Kemed CONDUCTBD BT DR. C. F. BENNETT. County C. A- R. Directory* KICHKOMD rOST HO 381 Meets the first and third Friday evenings of eacti| month. Da. S. F, BBNNBTT, Com. WOODSTOCK TOST, Ro 108. the third Monday evenings of each nOHUU' B.N. SMITH. Com. KT71IDA POST, HO , usrsusyast*KhM WM. BVTLBB, Com. HARVARD POST, HO MS. ,ou"b Da. H. T. WooDRorr. Com. Hitimo POST, NO. 169, "a ">""h rrtd*' J. B. BABCOCK, Com. Tha report of 287,000 membership of the O. A. R, made at Portland la wak ing up the old soldiers throughout the oouotry who have thue far kept out of the ranks. We prophesy an Increase of not less than 75,000 for the ensuing ye»r. The fine steel engraving of General (J. S. Grant, just published by Cleaves, Macdonald & Co., 45 Temple Place, Boston, Mass., Is by GUGLEK. Size, 22x28, printed on heavy plate paper, and sold at the low price of f2.00 for plain prints, or 93.50 for India proof. "Songs of Soldiers," published by Louis B. Hill, Kalamasoo, Mich., is just the book for camp fires and reunions. Single c >py 20 cents, 92.00 per dozon, •15.00 per hundred. The publisher is a son of Col. R. F. Hill, and a member of Phelix Duffle Camp No. 10, S. of V. The selection of S. S. Burdett for the position of Commander-in-chief of the Q. A. R, was without doubt the best that could have been made. While three ejccollent men were placed IQ nomination, no other possessed the qualifications as Commander-ln chief Burdetl. We look to see soldiers' in terests looked after and cared for dur ing his administration as they have never been before. Aa Incident of the War. From Msdison <J>urier. During the war the remains of an officer killed in battle was brought to atty fui iHlaWat. The Home Guards and other organizations, In fact the entire city turned out to pay the last sad rite to the deceased officer. A grand and Imposing procession moved down MainCro68 street toward Spring- dale cemetery, headed by a brass band and a sprinkling of martial music, and a well known Colonel as Grand Marshal. When the head of the column reached Broadway, the Colonel, riding a spirit ed horse, called a boy up to his side and handing him a quarter of a dollar, said: "Son, here is a quarter. Take it and run down to the cemetery and tell the sexton that the Colonel requests him to have the bier at the gate when tbe head of the column arrives there.'* The youngster fairly flew. When ar rived at the cemetery, he found the sexton at his post at the gate, and addressed him thus: "Mr. sexton, here's a quarter. The Colonel says for you to have a bucket of beer at the gate when he gets here." The sextou took the quarter a id the boy turned and run back to meet the procession. The sexton tried hard to call the boy back to get his quarter, but In vain. The bier was at the sate in time. PHELIX ADAIR. Battle of Munfordsvili*. ft was In this engagement, fought on the 14th day of September, 1862, where the Indiana troops made history, won an Imoortant victory, badly re pulsed the enemy, who lost 276 men killed and wounded, and where fifteen brave Hoosler boys laid down their lives for their country, Including the young and gallant Gus Abbott, major of thn 67th Indiana, who was killed on the ramparts of "Fort Craig," which is still standing in an excellent condition, and the plica where the young major fell is still pointed out to visitors Tbe other forts on tho north bank of Green river (the bat tie-was fought on tbe south side,) still loom up as mo- meatous figure a. In that sanguinary struggle. Why is Mutifsrddville fam ous P Because 5,000 Indiana soldiers flrst received their "Baptism ot Fire;" won a victory; three days later sur rendered prisoners of war without a shot, because, as General Buckner says, they had surrounded the plaoe with 22,000 men, and had 120 pieces of can non ready to open on the force next morning. That nigtft preceding the surrender (I o'clock a. m.), Col. Wilder, commanding the Union force, ap proached their pickets and desired a consultation with a general officer. Blindfolded, he was conducted to his bivouac. He removed tha bandage, and then, as Gen I1 Buckner says, made one ofthe most singular requests that one military officer ever made to an other; but made it in such a way that appealed to his heart and sympathies, as he had passed through the sarna ordeal a few months previous. Col. Wilder said: WI am green at this business, a new man in military mat ters, but I don't want to do anything that will throw discredit on myself or uj men, and I want to verve nay coon* try so that nothing will aver come up hereafter, and I come to you tor advice and ask you to tell me what to do." Gen. Buckner says he was so struck with his candor that lie told him: I know what your position is; have a pretty good knowledge of your forces; presume you know better than I, but this I will tellwe have you sur rounded; Polk's corps has crossed the river on the north,you can't get away; one huudred and twenty pieces of artillery will open on you with a con verging fire from every point, and I don't think that you or your troops can last an hour under that Are unlesi you expect reinforcements. Col. Wilder admitted he did not. Gen. Buckner said: and unless you have 6ome hope of succor you had bet ter surrender. Col. Wilder saw the w lsdem of this advice; was conducted to Gen. Bragg's headquarters and the next day the 17th, 50tli, 61st and 67th Indiana regi ments, with a battalion ol three com panies of the 13th Kentucky, under post surgeoa W. H. Gard ner, a battery of four guns under Lieut. Mason, sur rendered prisoners of war to Gen. Buckner, who then commanded a di vision in Har Jee's corps, but were im mediately paroled and sent to Indian apolis, whore they were exchanged, re-equlpped and sent to the front again. Col. Wilder, Col. Cyrus L. Dun- ham. Col. Charlee Murray and Col. Era- mersou commanded the Hoosler boys, who afterward saw arduous service in subsequent campaigns.--[5b;. Yewell, Jr.% in Leitchfield, (Ky.) Sunbeam. l9"There are always to be found in •very community more or less people who are constantly complaining that they cannot get along in the world be cause, perhaps, the kind of work they think themselves particul arly qualified to do does not seek them, or it may be that wages tor labor are not satisfac tory. At all events they affect to be anxlou9 to do something and be some body, but fate or circnmscances are In variably against them. That kind of talk Is too thin. Our idea le what a desire to do opportunities of doing may be successfully sought. If a per son cannot always find just exictly the job of work he wauts let him take what he can get. and if he cannot get quite as much money for his labor as he wants, let him take less. This getting along in the world has more to do with the disposition than with the circumstances. No person with an overwhelming desire to work will be long idle. If in health. A pair of good strong arras, with a disposition to use them, will win their way in the world •very time. We have thought more than once of what a wealthy landhold er In this couutry once said in a talk with us. He came here forty years ago, and when he arrived had no money. But be went to work. The price or a good days work those days was 50 cents. He worked cheerfully for that amount and 9aid, "when I could not get 50 cents a day I took what I could get. but I always worked." That was the secret of his success in a large part. He always made It a point to work, and for his work took wh»t peo ple would give him, although not al ways as much as he wanted. He fur thermore remarked that he uever was without money In his pocket. What did that mean? It nieany oconomy, and economy and industry united is a a sure passport to a competency. The man In question was rich years ago. It was but a few years until he was loan ing money, In small sums to beirln with Out they kept growing larger, and kept earning money as well as loaning it. And when you talk about circum stances being against a man it needs to be taken for what it is worth. Some times circumstances are against a man, but not often. An energetic person will make circumstancos Instead of let ting circumstances make or unmake him. In this country no man need spend his time in bott omlng a chair or holding down a dry goods box if he has ab.e hands and a willing heart.-- Exchange. The New York Ledger says preparati ons were being made for a very elaborate wedding of a fashion able young lady with a young manufac turer.when the prospective bride heard that the firm to which her betrothed belonged was about to fail. She im mediately wrote him a letter breaking the engagement and bidding htm fare well. It was seut off in the greatest haste, as the^was no more than time to stop the preparations for the wed ding. Two hours after it bad been posted she learned that the rumor of the firm's insolvency was false. Accom panied by her parents she hastened to the post office to demand the return of her letter. Tbe postmaster politely declined to give it op. The young lady Insisted, but the postmaster remained firm. The parents began to argue the case. It was useless. They became excited; the daughter became hysteri cal, and there was a soene. But appeals entreaties, tears, wringing of hands, and threats of fainting were all In vain; the pollto postmaster had but one answer. The rule admitted of no exception, and the letter was already, tn the eyes of the law the property of the young man. It was sent, and saved him from the great misfortune of mar rylng a mercenary wife. .. v. - - m Written for the Plaindeaier. OBESSBR'S DROIXKRIR& NO. SB. STTB UD.. ST. LOMB KO. Anecdotes of great men are always In demand, and he who has been per- %| sonally acquainted with any of tbe ^ world's popular heroes is a person ^ t whose society Is diligently courted. Such a party Is Ike Socks, who claims' $ to have been the intimate friend of the second President Adams. He Is on . -J, the shady side of eighty, and talka 5 with a sprightliness astonishing in one of his years. He recently related to me the Incident to which Mr. Adama ,« owed his elevation to the highest honor our people can bestow. Said he: / "The second President Adams was a . great crony of mine, and I know many things concerning him of which the world is Ignorant. He always took a -ii great interest in farming, and all ap* pertaining to it, but his ideas were far from practical. For instance,says he to me: 'My dear chum Socks, you will f observe that on apple trees the bios* 1 boras are the real origin of the fruit. ^ Now, I propose instead of allowing ^ the fruit to grow scatteringly all over the tree to cut off all the branches, and >:• and leave only the bare trunk, like a ' | liberty pole, and the result, I make not - the slightest doubt, will be the growth of a large blossom on top which will eventually become an apple of immense proportions. The size of the apple would undoubtedly equal the quantity of fruit grown in the ordinary way, and it would require no labor to gather it. Understand?' After much trouble I succeeded in convincing him he was mistaken. , He w$s a great man at joking, too. Says he to me one day: 'Socks, I have come to the conclusion that the cat is not a dangerous vegetable, except when plucked too greeu. It should be allowed to ripen.' Once when a neighbor advised him to prune an apple tree, knock me down if he didn't dig down among the roots and All up the hole with prunes! He said they were the best In the market, and he reckoned he'd have a tree that would make the farmers green with envy, * He used of ton to joke about prefer* ring th^asparagu8 bed to a liammoo for sot ~~ ham out I forg _ eveut to WIIILII hi elevation to the Presidenc^ He oftej| spoke of it with the deepest euotiou, and I will relate it to yon a* nearly as I cai remember: You see, Adams lived on a farm where there were no radishes, and, some way or other, he used to get slightly muddied on account of the horses neighing all the time he was trying to write a political speech, thus causing him to lose his appetite, mak ing it Imperative that tiis diet shoui be broth, as the doctor declared ables were highly necessar human mind for work old man followed his ad ped into the library to eitl ary all tho time the \ neighing,.he caused such a commotion the fragile kitchen maid hid in the :• cellar, and it is owing to this thai Adams was made President of the ; United States. What a noble example to the American youth! Yes, and even old men might learn from tbls a noble | Ifesson!" • * As the old man concluded I bade iiioa " 'good night,' and walked on deeply im»- '*? pressed by the remarkable incident,* and the mora I pondered over it the .;. greater did tbe worthy President ap* -li pear to be. If he were alive to day t ;ff would send him some candled oysters. LOVJBLL. . 54,: |0*A gentleman met a boy aud * asked him what o'clock it was. Beinf told that it was just 12. he expressed some surprise, and said he thought it I; was more. "It's never any more in 'x these parts, sii\" said th» boy simply^ | it begins again at 1." In order to ex* plain in a clear and simple manner the necessity of regulating our conduct by some fixed standard, a schoolmaster asked a pupil what be ought to do witli „- his watch if it went sometimes too fasi and sometimes too slow. "3ell it," waS the Immediate respon -e. A chll 1 wh* had just mastered tier catechism con- 4 feseed herself disappointed, because, ^ she said, "though I obey the#fth com- ; mandment and honor my papa a&4^ J mamma, yet my days are not a bit ^ longer in the land, because I am still ' put to bed at 7 o'clock."--Times of « India. • ""M ftSTMurat Halstead, of the. Ctneis* natl Commercial Gazette, was recently interviewed by a New York Tribune reporter, and among the caustic things he is reported assaying is the follow ing: "It is nip and tuck whether * Democrat at present endorses the ad ministration or not. You get three drinks in him and he cusses Cleveland tn private. You get fire drinks in hiot and he cusses Cleveland in public. With six drinks he is willing to vote the Prohibition ticket to get even with the man in the White House. But when he sobers down he becomes sad and recognizes that it is too bad to say anything ill of the first Democrat!© administration iu twenty-four yean* in the flrst six months of its existr