Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 29 Jul 1885, p. 7

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REMINISCENCES OF PUBLIC BY BEN: PEBLEY POORE. The diBcnssions in the Senate on the illicit publication of a treaty in the Spring of 1871, attracted attention to "Newspaper Bow," on Fourteenth street, ju6t above Pennsylvania avenue. There were but eight offices there, the Boston Journal and the New York Herald being the only paper which had exclusive occupation of an office, while the other six offices displayed the signs of a score of other papers, which were served with news by gentlemen who serve from two to half a dozen differ­ ent newspapers each. In this way "Newspaper Row" was the camera through which the greater portion of the reading American people received their first impressions of what trans- spired here, photographed, as it were, by the telegraph. It might have been easily imagined that those congressmen who fancied themselves imperfectly re­ ported were not disposed to look kindly on "Newspaper Row," although they were treated with far more considera­ tion than they merited. In proportion to a Representative's demagogism was his thirst for newspaper praise, sensi­ tiveness to honest criticism and his in­ gratitude for past favors. The rela­ tions between the honest gentlemen in Congress and the honest gentlemen on "Newspaper Row" were of a most agreeable character. The best men in the Senate and in the House willingly adopted the assertion of Macaulay in his essay on "Hallam's Constitutional History": "The gallery in which the reporters sit has become a Fourth Es­ tate of the realm. The publication of the debates, a practice which seemed to the most liberal statesman; of the old school full of danger to the great safe­ guards of public liberty, is now re­ garded by many persons as a safeguard tantamount, and more than tantamount, to all the measures together." We had at Washington some "statesmen of tbe old school," who still clung to their "privileges" as the missionary on his way to the Sandwich Island lashed himself to the anchor during a storm, thinking, that he could thereby insure his safety. But they in time saw how fruitless were their attempts to compel correspondents to violate professional obligations by the application of the thumb screws of privileges. In short, Parliamentary privilege, like a great many other old-fogy British ideas, had not stood the transplantation process and had wilted. The sooner Congress repudiates it, even at a sacrifice of per­ sonal "dignity," the better. It is a curious fact, which I must state here, that while during my third of a century of service as a Washington correspondent I have seen eight of my professional associates brought before the bar of one or the other Houses of Congress, at different times for having violated the "privilege" of that august body, no one has either dishonorably revealed his professional secrets or has been convicted of having in any way acted dishonorably. Yet during that space of time Con­ gressmen have been cohvicted by the courts, or expelled, or have resigned to avoid expulsion, for murder, or bribery, or treason, or corruption, or assault and battery, or other violations of the statutes (not the vague lex non scripta of privilege); and then Bowen, of South Carolina, was convicted of , bigamy while ho was an M. C. Is not the balance in favor of the often-abused Washington correspon­ dent ? and if some of them have improp­ erly obtained public documents, it is because of the eagerness of their em­ ployers to print news in advance of com­ petitors, and to afterwards boast of their "enterprise" in thus publishing what they knew must have been stolen. ' * At last, on Sunday, the 10th of March, the Army of the Potomac again moved "on to Richmond." It was a magnifi­ cent sight, as regiments, batteries, and squadrons moved along the turnpike from Alexandria to Fairfax Court House. Burnished weapons, the sono­ rous music of bands, the rattle of drums, the prancing of horses, and the march songs of the men, formed an an­ imated spectacle. Passing through Fairfax Court House, the Union troops advanced to Manassas Junction, which the Confederates had called "the Se- bastopol of America," but which was found to be a collection of redoubts and other earthworks in which some pieces of light artillery had been tem­ porarily placed, while in other embra­ sures were wooden guns. The Confed­ erates had evidently evacuated their winter quarters in haste, as they left behind a large number of muskets, bowie-knives, blankets, and letters from their homes. Fred Douglass was at first denied ad­ mission to the ball given on the night of Mr. Lincoln's second inauguration, some one told the officious usher whom he had treated so cavalierly, and the young man hastened to admit him. Al­ most the first head he saw looming tip among the crowd was Mr. Lincoln's, and the latter, seeing him also, called out, in his cheery, familiar voice: "Come this way, Fred Douglass, come here, I want to see you." Then, grasp­ ing his hand, he said : "I want to ask you what you thought of my speech this afternoon; I saw you standing there in the mud while I was talking." Mr. Douglass answered: "President Lin­ coln, it was an inspired hour." Mr. Douglass then went on to rehearse some of the wonderful utterances of that inauguration speech that had burned themselves on his brain. Con­ tinuing, he said: "Mr. Lincoln then introduced myself and Mrs.----to Vice President Johnson at his side. Mr. Johnson scowled, then presently smoothed his face into civility; but I said to Mrs. , as we walked away: "That man iB no friend to such as you and I." The Real Primitive Man. "No, if we want to get at the genu­ ine, unadulterated primitive man, we must go much further back in time than the mere trifle of 250,000 years, with which Dr. Croll and the cosmic astron­ omers so generously provide us, for pro-glacial humanity. We must turn away to the immeasurable earlier fire- eplit flints wliicii the Abbe Bourgeois --undaunted mortal!--ventured to dis­ cover among the Miocene strata of the calcaire de Beauce. These flints, if of human origin at all, were fashioned by some naked and still more hairy crea­ ture, who might fairly claim to be coa- . sidered sb genuinely primitive. So rude are they that, though evidently artificial, one distinguished archaeolo­ gist will not admit that they can be in any way human; he will have it that they were really the handiwork of the great European anthropoid ape of that early period. This, however, is noth­ ing more that very delicate hair-split­ ting ; for what does it matter whether you call the animal that fashioned those exceedingly rough and fire-marked im­ plements a man-like ape or an ape-like human being? The fact remains quite unaltered, whichever name you choose to give te it When you have got to a monkey who can light a fire and pro­ ceed to manufacture himself a conveni­ ent implement, you may be sure that man, noble man, with all his glorious and admirable faculties--cannibal or otherwise--is lurking somewhere very close, just ionnd the corner. The more We examine the work of our old master, in fact, the more does the conviction force itself upon us, that he was very far indeed from being primitive--that we must push back the early history of our race not for 250,000 winters alone, but perhaps lor two or three million ^ears, into the dim past of Tertiary ages.--Popular Science Monthly. ? Lincoln's Ghostly Visions. "Carp,"in the Cleveland Leader, thus quotes Abraham Lincoln: "It was af­ ter my election, when the news was coming in thick and fast all day, and there had been a great 'hurrah, boys!' so that I was well tired out, and went home to rest, throwing myself upon a lounge in my chamber. Opposite to where I lay was a bureau with a swing, ing giass upon it; and looking in that glass I saw myself reflected at nearly full length. But my face, I noticed, had two separate and distinct images- the tip of the nose of one being about three inches from the tip of the nose of the other. I was a little bothered, perhaps startled, and got up and looked in tbe glass, but the illusion had vanished. On laying down again I naw it a second time, pla ner. if possi­ ble, than before, and then I noticed that one of the faces was a little paler, say five shades, than the other. I got up and the thing melted away, and I went off. In the excitement * of the hour I forgot all about it--nearly, but not quite, for the tliingjt would come up every once in awhile \md give me a little pang, as though something un­ comfortable had happened. When I weut home, I told my wife about it, aad a few days after I tried the experiment again, when, sure enough, the thing came back again, if anything more ghostly than before. After this, how­ ever, I was never able to bring the thing back again, though I tried once very industriously to show it to my wife, who was somewhat worried over it. She thought it was a sign that I was to be elected to a second term of office, and interpreted the paleness of the lower face as an omen that I would not see life through my second term." Farms on the RoltiCw A more beautiful farming country does not exist than that along the. southern shore of the Baltic. No fences mark the boundaries of. the fer­ tile farms which stretch away over the rolling hills to the distant horizon, all aglow with yellow grain. At intervals a clump of trees often seen intensely dark against the ripe grain shows where a farm-house stands, and giant wind­ mills swing their sails on the highest hill-tops. The highway, a finely built chaitxixe, leads straight across the country, only curving to pass through some village. Moun ain ash, birch, and cherry trees border the road in an unbroken rank. In the diches and by the roadside grow countless varieties of wild flowers--a perfect paradise for the botanist. From the highest hill the eye meets to the south a succession of grain fields. To the north, beyond the soft undulations of the cultivated hills, the Baltic shimmers in the strong sunlight, a narrow line, sharp at the horizon. The dimensions of the brick barns prove the accustomed magnitude of the harvest: the luxury of the farm­ ers' houses tells of inherited success.-- F. I>. Millet, in Harper's Magazine. Beeclter and Fanny Fern. Henry Ward Beecher and Fanny Fern were playmates in youth. "Why, certainly; 1 knew Fanny Fern well," said the great preacher. "When I was a boy at School in Hartford, she was one of the most likely and attractive girls at my sister Catherine's school there. She was not Mrs. Eldridge then, nor Mrs. Parton, nor Fanny Fern; but she was simple Sara Willis, not even known as N. P. Willis' sister. Cath­ arine kept a lot of horses for the girls to ride, and my sister Harriet and Sara Willis were together often. Sometimes (as often as I could) I joined them on a gallop into the country. Sara was a blonde, with a very fair face and flow­ ing waxen hair. She was quite a be­ witching little creature--one of the prettiest girls in Hartford." Fanny Fern's pseudonym had become pretty well known, but she was struggling hard to support her babes when Bon­ ner took her breath away by offering her $1,000 for a story making ten ool- umns of the Ledger. Bonner has paid out $100,000 for advertising, but has never admitted an advertisement of any sort into the Ledger.--Boston Budget. Exertions After Pleas are. I maintain the paradox that he travels best who travels most naturally. If there is anything distressing it is your traveler who makes the best of his time, who, with his finger on a map and his eyes glued to a window-pane, attempts to acquire topography and enjoy scenery at the same time. The plan appears excellent, I know; but even Mozart, the musician, wrote those melodies that haunted him. elaborated the themes that sought him, not those that he sought. I might carry the figure further, deprecating that ten­ dency in the callow youth to 6eek for real beauty in every woman's face he saw. A beautiful scene of nature, like the face of a beautiful womto, must compel admiration rather thaq justify it--The Ingleside. >ru«n, ban jt in*! The Weight of Our Coil Of United States gold dollars (25.8 grains) about 271* weigh one pound avoirdupois. Of silver coins, the new silver dollar ("Buzzards")--412$ grains --17 weigh almost exactly one pound. The "halves," "quarters," and "dimes" are proportionately lighter, and require 18.144 of them to make a pound avoir­ dupois. Of "nickles," the 5-cent pieces weigh 77.10 grains, or about 90 to the pound. Tbe "nickel" 3-cent pieces weigh 30 grains, or 233 to the pound. The small copper cents weigh 48 grains^ or about 14(i to the pound or about 9 to the ounce. The late Charles O'Conor was a dis­ tinguished lay Catholic all his life, but it seems that he died without the last rites of the church. Bishop Hendricks, of Massachusetts, attempted to see the dying man, but was told that no person would be admitted who came on a re­ ligious mission. Mr. O'Conor expressed his desire to die as a simple Christian. He was buried in St. Patrick's Cathe­ dral, New York. Beef gall is said to be a remedy for snakebites. That don't interest Wis­ consin people much, as poisonous snakes are rare; but they would like to know a good remedy for gall, as exhib­ ited by book agents, lightning-rod ped­ dlers and othelt of that ilk.--Pec if m Sun. POPULAR SCIENCE. The Medical Journal states that a few handfuls of common salt thrown daily into closets, and an occasional handful into wash basins, goes far to­ ward counteracting the noxious effeots of the omnipresent sewer gas. One of the most remarkable facts brought out by the oceanic researches made by the British ship Challenger is the probability that all oceanic islands are of volcanic origin; in all the re­ searches* made no indications were found of submerged laud over these ftreas. Is a paper by Dr. Yarick, read be­ fore a New York medical association, the use of simple hot water as a dress­ ing for wounds is strongly recommend­ ed. During an experience n its use of six years in cases of acute surgery, such as railroad accidents, etc, he has had no death from septicemia or primary or secondary shock. A new alimentary substance, the seeds of the Bolivian cotton tree, has attracted the attention of the Academie des Sciences. It is rich in.nitrogen- ized substances, and contains twenty- three per cent, of fibriue and six of casein. M. Sacc thought that flour from the seed would be very suitable for pastry and sweets. It is likely to be used in sugar making as a substi­ tute for carbonic acid. The question as to the habitability of the planets has been discussed with much ability by Professor McFarland. His conclusions arte that the four large outer planets have not sufficiently cooled down to allow life on .their sur­ face such as is seen on the earth; that Mars gives all telescopic 'and spectro­ scopic probabilities of conditions com­ patible with life as we see it ; that the earth, certainly lor millions of years, has been covered with multifarious life; that in respect to Venus and Mer­ cury no certain evidence or knowledge presents itself; and that the satellites are manifestly not fitted for such life as the earth exhibits--the moon, in par­ ticular, having no water and no -atmos­ phere. Experiments have lately been made with a diamond of 1>2 carats, which is one of the finest known outside of royal or national collections. It is wi nder- fully pure water, and is admirably cut with sixty-four perfectly geometrical faces. Its value its estimated at $60,- 000. When exposed during an hour to the rays of the nun it preserved for more than twenty minutes, in a dark chamber, a light sufficient to show the white paper that reflected its rays. The same phenomenon was exhibited, but with somewhat (ess intensity, after having eubmitted the diamond to a powerful electric light. A very ap­ parent phosphorescence was also pro­ duced by rubbing the diamond a few moments with flannel- Two Centuries Hence. Max Muller estimates that two cen­ turies hence the English language will be spoken by about 1,837,UUtf.OUO peo­ ple, against about 790,000,000 of loiks who will use the German. Spanish, French, and Italian. He rates the use of German then at little more than one-twelfth that of the English. The total of all the languages named will be nearly equal to the world's popula­ tion at that time. If his forecast should become history it would involve the practical extinction of all the , thousands of other languages that are now spoken, except that of the lew which would survive as literary curios­ ities or be embalmed in the memory of the student of philology. What an , immense amount of time will be saved by such an elimination of the prac­ tically valuable from that which will then be disregarded as useless. it is difficult even to speculate intel­ ligently on tbe character of tbe revolu­ tion which such a change will involve. Of course, any one can reason out the facts-tliat the publication of the Bible in several scores of, different languages will then be unnecessary, and that the ordinarily-educated man of that time will understand all the languages that are spoken. But who can say tbat the vast lund of information embodied in those few tongues will not be a much hardor task than is the sum of human knowledge of to-day? The man who now considers it his duty to himself and fellows to keep moderately well abreast of current literature and marks how rapidly its volume increases might well stand aghast at the idea of being charged with such a responsibility two centuries hence, though the number of languages may then be counted on the fingers of one hand. It is not only the accretion of fresh knowledge clustering around already existing departments ot literature, science, and art, but the r&pidly increasing number of those de­ partments that is calculated to appall. Probably wo should be justified in as­ serting that no one will essay the task of even looking askance at all that is regarded as knowable two centuries hence. It rather seems likely that the sum of knowledge will be so divided up into separate parcels as to sunder the possessors quite as widely as they now are by the inability to understand the commonest words in the language used by another. The human family may then be perforce sundered into castes each of which has its own molds of thought and expression to which the rest are utter strangers. It would be indeed wonderful, as judged by the light of the present day, if the result of all this progress which now seems to tend towards unification should be a redividing up of the world into clans and guilds, each of which re­ gards the others as entities of existence whose rights it is not bound to respect ---Chicago Tribune. How Lincoln Heard Dixie. It is easy for me to recall an instance only a night or two before Mr. Lin­ coln was assassinated. The President had returned from Richmond, and a crowd called with a band to tender con­ gratulations and a serenade. The man who was so soon to be the victim of the assassin's bullet, appeared in res} onse to calls, and thanked his audience for the compliment. Several members of his Cabinet surrounded him, and it was a very interesting and dramatic oc­ casion. Just as he was closing bis brief re­ marks Mr. Lincoln said: • "I see you have a band with you. I should iike to hear it play 'Dixie.' I have con­ sulted the Attorney General, who is here by my side, and he is of tbe opin­ ion that 'Dixie' belongs to ua. Now play it," The band struck up the old tune, and played it as I have never be­ fore or since heard it rendered. As the strains of the music rang out upon the air cheer after cheer went up from the throats of the hundreds of happy men who called to cqngratulate Mr. Lincoln upon the return of peace.--F. A. B., in Philadelphia Times. Old maids are the stiff-starched ex­ amples of neglected opportunities which certain men have refused to em­ brace.--Barber's Gazette. Everybody's Air-tfrake. "Yes, sab." said tlnelsZach, "1'se watched It forty years an* It's as I Ms; De fust or May an' ChrUmas day ot 4f same year aUers comes on de sanrio woek day." Further conversation proved Unci© Zaota a ost Incredulous perMn. Chancing to men­ tion Dr. Carver's feat of breaking jjlass balls With a rifle, bo said: "I heerd 'bout dat shootin' and knowed right off it wasn't squar'; dat was a Yankee trick, l oss, sho's you born." "What was the tricki"" •' * .ft "Darwuz loadstone put into de glass balls* an' likewise onto de bullets; so when de bul­ let fly outen the pun. It an' the ball jes d rawed tergedder, which, in course, broke de glasf--dat's tho trick 1" Later, I'ncie Zach observed a rope running along the side of the car. "Loss, what's dat line fur?" ' To apply the air-brake in case of acci­ dent." Then we had further to expain now the force of th? brake was obtained, to which L'n< le 7acli responded: "Look a here, boss, you sboly don't 'spfci me to li'lieve d.it foolishness? Why, de big­ gest harricane whatever blowed couldn't stop dis train, runin' forty mile a hour. An' you think 1 gwino to b'leive a little pipe lull of wind under de kyars can do it? No, sah- rae!" a here are a great many Uncle Zachs who jurfgj everything simply by appearances. The a!r-brake does not seem to be a very powerful thing, but power and efficiency are not necessarily equivalent to bigness and pretense. Philip Beers. Esq., who resides at the United States Hotel, New York City, and is engaged in raising subscriptions for the New York Uo/fd llartholdi l edestal fund, was once upbraided by a distinguished relative Who was a physician, for commending in such enthu^iustic terms, a remedy that cured h'tn of Brlglit's disease eight year.-; a to. Ho said: -'Sir, has the mes cal pro;e-sion, with all jts power and experience of thousands of years, anything that can cure this terrible / disorder."" No, no. tbat is true; thero is no mistake about it but that Warner's safe euro i# reui'.y a wonderfully effective preparation. That remedy is an ••air-brake" that every man can ipply, and this fact explains why it has saved so many hundreds of thousands of lives.--L-opyriyhtett. U*eU by pcimumion of American Rum! Home. Paper Hanging. Dear reader,/laid you ever hang pa­ per? Did you ever indulge in the luxurious blessedness of the paper- hanging art? Did you ever cut loose from the cares of a busy everyday hum­ drum business life and revel for a short space of a period or two of time in the pleasure of pasting paper on a wall. Well, if yoir didn't you have missed one of the bitterest experiences of life, and much to be thankful for. If you ever did, you know then how it is vour- self. The other day we took our first lesson in paper hanging, and perhaps we might as well say our last lesson also. We think we have got through. In fact, we hadn't hardly got started be­ fore we wished we hadn't commenced, and one of the first things we did was to repent of our undertaking. We had some paper to hang. Our better half said it must be hung. We had seen some paper hanging going on once and it looked easy. We told her there was no use to bother after paper hangers, for it was no trick to slap a few slices of paper on tho wall, aud we felt equal to the emergency, and felt also that we needed to enjoy a little spell of rest and recreation, bo we would just paper the wall ourself. Alas, as Ben Butler once remarked, "The best laid plans o' men and mice gang aft aglee." They did gang very much aft aglee. They scooted out like greased elm. We commenced work with a brush, a pot of paste and a large supply of self-confidenc. The brush and paste lasted first-rate, but wo soon found we were running terribly short of self-confidence. It takes a big amount of self-confidence to success­ fully keep up the paper hanging busi­ ness. This is about all we learned of the business. Our wife said she didn't believe we could hang paper, and thought we were fooling away our time. We told her she didn't seem to have that implicit faith in our abilities that she should -have, and that if she would just keep her eye on our movements, she would soon see that we knew how to hang pa­ per as well as anybody. We proceeded to decorate the walls. The fir.-t piece did very well, only it seemed to have an inclination to skew around and get into a twist. The second piece was worse than the first, and the farther we went the worse it got. After awhile we no­ ticed that the top was going right away from the bottom, and if the gain at the top kept up, that end of the papering process would get around the square and safely back home before the bottom got half way around. Then it began to all wrinkle up and draw itself up in the ridges and act in other ways unbe­ coming to a respectable paper. About this time we began to weary of the job, and we also remembered that we didn't have time to fool with such things, so we concluded to let the mat-, ter drop and send for a paper-hanger to finish the job. That individual had no trouble in putting on the balance of it in a respectable manner, owing of course to the example we had given him of the way in which paper should be hung. We have quit the business now, and will not consent to hang paper any more, not even for our near relatives. Perhaps if we had a mean enemy and wanted to punish him, we might con­ sent to hang his paper, if he was not allowed to look on with a' shot gun, but under no other circustances would we tackle the job. We are satisfied that it is not every man who can build for himself an enduring monument of skill and artfulness by attempting to slap paper on the wall. A man might suc­ cessfully and decently hang himself, and at the same time make a lizzie in an effort to hang paper. With these few remarks we close by saying that henceforth the public wiil apply to other firms when it wants paper hanging, as we have retired from the hanging business.--Pittsburg {Kan.) Democrat. Russian Official Life. I wonder if the reports of the corrup­ tion of Russian official life are all true. I remember a gentleman connected with an enterprise having an establish­ ment in a Russian Pacific port telling me of the miserable condition of the place and the people. "Does the Government do nothing for them?" I asked. "Yes; that is, the Government gives an appropriation, but the place never gets the benefit of it." "Who does?" "The officials. There was a Govern­ or there onoe who received an appro­ priation of some 60,000 rubles to be de­ voted to the improvement of the towns. He had no place to keep it--no safe; so he built a brick kind of mausoleum in the garden or back yard of his official residence, which was completely closed with brick "or stone. It was never j opened." 1 "I don't understand." I "Another Governor came out and j took this one's place. He d|d not dare ; to open that mausoleum, so it remains closed till this dav." "Why?" "Because the money is not there. It never was put in, and the officials have to stand in with one another. "--San Francit co Chronicle. ** Stother* Slionl«l !\ole Tills.** Under this caption an old physician writes toa Cin innati medical journal, that in "view of the fact that people living at a distance from cities are frequently obliged tofesort to cough mixtures already;put up far use, they should provide themselves with only such remedies as are known to be free from opiates, poisons, and narcotics; thus avoid­ ing not only danger but fatal results. He recommends the recently discovered Bed Star Cough Care which analyses and tests by various Boards of Health proved to be purely vegetable as well as prompt/effect­ ive, and entirely harmless. I '. V j '--1 '? * f f * \ The Assistance He Needed. "Philander," said a pretty girl to her bashful beau, "I wish you'd tie this rib­ bon at my throat; I can't see how to doit without a glass;" ^ "Of conr|set tooglad to,*' he sua and at <5nce grappled the strings. After an unsuccessful effort of five minutes, during which he got ae Bed as a brick house, and perspired Itke a pitcher of ice water on a J uiy window sill, he stammered: "I--I--don't think I can tie a re­ spectable knot, Miss JVIar v," i , "Suppose, Philander^" she whispered with a pretty little blush, "suppose you call in a preacher to assist." Like the unveiling of a beautiful mys- terv, the situation unfolded itself to Philander and he feels better now.--' Merchant Traveler. s A Necessity of llealUi. It 1b a prime necessity of health that the action of the LowcIh should be kept regular. But the way to overcame a temporary fit of constipation, or to remedy chrome eostiveness, Is not to del­ uge the stomach and drench the bowels with l^rgatives of violent or iwinful action. The happy medium between an inoperative and vio­ lent cathai tin is Ilostetter'a Stomach Bitters, which acts just sufficiently u; on the bowels to relax them without pani, and which being a wholesome tonic, as well as ayerient. has the ef- lect of strengthening both them and the stom­ ach, and promoting the well-being of the whole internal coon >my. The removal of bile from the blood, increased activity of the liver, usually dormant in cases of eostiveness. and sound di­ gestion follow tli>> uie of this beneficent med­ icine, as thorough and genial in its eflects as it is safe and pure in composition. Rheumatism, fever and a true, kidney troubles, and debility are also remedied by It. Diamond Cut Diamond. Curbstone Broker--(soenc, Chicago) ^My friend, would not you like to make some money ? I can give you same points." Stranger--"Oh! can you?" "Yes, indeed. 1£qu just pu| up all you caa on A B C and X X. Z* railway stock, and youl! make a aide thing by it." "Put it up with you ?" "Oh, of course. I'm a broker.* "Yea, I see. You're pretty smart, too, but I'm smarter. V. "Eh?" , . • "I'm a three-card monte man.--Phil­ adelphia Call. ' ' Mild, soothing, aud heating Is Dr. Sara's. Catarrh Home ly. SprciAii taxes are levied upon bachelors In Francc, and they, pay it cheetfuUjr; nary a kick. T ' « ' ' " % . ? • ? * ' • !. -- « i 4 . . Important. ^ ? ]-1 > When yoxt visit or leave Itew To("W OR£, save liai^^aire Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop at the Cinina Union llotel, opposite Grand Central Depot: elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduced to $1 and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the best. Horse cabs, etaRc.and elevated railroad to all depots. Fami­ lies can live better lor less money at the Grand Unton than at any first-clots hotel In the elty. A coT.n climate is hard to bear, but it makes men robust nnd active. People in very warm countries load a rather shiftless life.--Teaai tSt'/iinvf. Interesting to Travelers. It will be interesting to people contem­ plating a trip to thf tnMith to learn of the vast improvements in time and accommo­ dations that have been rendered possible by the teceut completion of a remarkably long bridge over the Ohio Biver at Hender­ son, Ky., a point ten miles below Evans- vine. lud. The length of the bridge proper is 3,686 feet, th« span over the chnnnel of the river is 521 feet, the longest sp in of truss bridge in the world. The bridge is reached by three and one-half miles of solid substan­ tial trestle-work on the Indiana side. With this biidge completed, there is an unbroken rail line between Chicag) and Nashville, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Jackson­ ville, Florida, and othar Southeastern cities over the shortest existing route, which fact was immediately taken advan­ tage of by the Chicago and Eastern Illinois Bailroad (Danville lloute) and its (Southern connections, to put on a fast train from Chicago to Nashville, and give to the North nnd South travel home of the luxuries in fast traveling and excellent accommoda­ tions which heretofore have been almost wholly monopolized by the East aud West lines. The first through train, which left Chica­ go at 3:43 Bunday afternoon, July 19, on Abe new Chicago and Nashville fast line, ar- ( rived in Nashville at 7:45 on Mouday morn­ ing, having accomplished the distance be­ tween the two cities in the hitherto unpre­ cedented time of sixteen hours. The new train was tho first thr ugh passenger train from Chicago to cross the mammoth bridge over the Ohio at Henderson, and as such marks au epoch in Southern traffic whose importune# "was t stifled by the interest shown all ialong1 the line. This train carries the popular Palace Buffet Sleeping Cars; it leaves Chicago at 3:45 p. m. daily, aud arrives at Nashville at 7:45 a. m., connecting with the morning trains out of Nashville in all directions, enabling passengers to reach Chattanooga in the early afternoon; Atlanta and Mont gomery early in the evening, and other Southern and Southeastern points in some instances one-half day ahead of, and in from three to ten hours' less time than by any otber line. Travelers should make a note of this im­ portant route, and whei going Sou' h re­ member the Chicago and Eastern Illinois. We Caution All Against Them. The unprecedented Sucoeas aCld merit' off Ely's Cream J alca--<s rest Cure for catarrh, hay fever, and cold in the head--has induced many adventurers to place catarrh medic.nes .bearing smne resemblance lt\ appearance, style, or name upon the market, in oruer to trade upon the reputation of Ely's Cr. am Balm. Many in your immediate locality will testify in highest commendation of It. Don't be deceived. Buy only Ely's Cream L'alm. A particle ie applied into each nostril; no pain; agreeable to use. Price fifty cents; of druggists. ••Pat up"-»t the Oaalt House. The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations at th» low price of 58 and $2.50 per day at the <Jau4t House, Chica­ go, corner Clinton and MaAiaOn streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class. Horr 4c Gates. Proprietors. Pure Cod-Liver Oil, made from selected livers on the sea shore, by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet. Patients who have onoe taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians have de­ cided it superior to j»ny other o*)« in market. ' ••• $• * Hay Fever.--I have been a great suf­ ferer from Hay Fever for fifteen years. I read of the many wondrous cures by Ely's Cream Balm, and thought I would try once more. In fllteen minutes after one applica­ tion 1 was wonderfully helped. Two weeks ago I commenced using It, and now 1 feel entlrelu curcd. It is the greatest discovery ever known or heard of.--Dchamel Clark* Farmer, Lee, Mass. Price fifty cents. Crapped Hands, Face, Pimples and rough Skin, cured by using Juniper Tar Soap, made by Caswell. Hazard & Co., New York. The >kron Sewer JNpe is the heat in the world. 6* advertiasm^t im tfcls pagpp. Poor Little Ones. We often see children with red eruptions on face and hands, rough, scaly skin, and Often sores on the head. These things Indi­ cate a depraved condition ftf the blofxl. In the growing period children have need of puro blood by which to build up strong and healthy bodies. If Dr. Pierce's "Golden Medical Discovery" is given, the blooi IS purjied of its bad elements, and the chiid's ^"• eiopment will be healthy, and as it should Scrofulous affections, rickets, fever- sores, hip-joint disease, or other grave mala­ dies and suflering are sure to result from neglect and lack of proper attention to sucb cases. Tr.i.KOBArfl mesjtngers nerer make haste tp getrtoh.. ( ,, , A Lovelj Complexion. "What a lovely oom pies ion!" we often bear persons say. " 1 wonder what she does for it.'" In every case the purity and real iovelt..ess of the complexion depends upon the blood. Those who have sahow, blotchy faces may make their skin smooth and healthy by taking enough of Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery" to drive out the humors lurking in the system. ^he w is a ledger tiot a ledger? Ledg-yer know some other time. GDOUNREMEDF FOR PAIN. Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica. Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache, •orcTlii'ont.Swelllnca.Kprnlna.Bralaes, Burns, Nraldt, Froit Bite*. A!tn AIjIj OTHER BODILY FA1KS AND ACHES. Volaby Druglftlts ftn<t Dealer* everyrvltfre. Fifty Cento ft botQtb Dtrei'tioua la 11 Lunguapwi. TVTE ciiaules A. VOOKLER CO. (Swewrsto A. YOrtELEB A CO.) Baltimore, Am DO NOT FORGtT Perry Davis' P^in Killet BITTERS. IT XS THB BLOOD PURIFIER <6 HEALTH RESTORER. It never fails to do its work in cases of Mala> rln, Biliousness, Constipation. Head* aciie« loss of Appetite and Sleep, Nervous Debility, Neuralgia, and all Female Complaints. Hops & Malt Hitters is a Vege- table Compound. It is a medicine not a Bar­ room Drink. It diflers as widely ns clnfs ft'v ami night from the tit on nand-and-oiie IHixtiirca of vile whisky flavored with iii-omntfcn. Hops A Malt Bitters is recom* mended by Physicians, Nlnlater* and Nurse* as being the Best Family Medicine evrr compounded. Any Woman or ckftM can take it. ' Prom my knowledge of its ingredients, under rooir«uinstances can it injure anyone using it. It contains no mineral or other deleterious sub- Ftance. Possessing real merits, the remedy is deserving success. C. E. DePct, Ph. G., Detroit, Mich. llieonly Gennlne are manufactured by the HOPS * MALT BITTERS CO.. Detroit Mtrh. raoit THic ALBANY, N. Y.,' 'JOORNAL." It i« eaid "A prophet is not without honor, save in his own country.* The many expreftsiona of gratitude received by Dr. D.VYIP KI'.NNKDV from 1 eraons in his Own vicinity Vbo have received grout and,lasting benefit from his *F.%VOKITE KKMKDY" proTes that the above does not prove infallible. We learn that more of tliis med­ icine is sold in this city than of any other similar preparLt'on. We readily recognize t!io truth of this Hat incnt, aud now call to mind many of our promi­ nent l itizcua who liavo been cured of various com- plaints by thin medicine, and of whose cases we have made menticii i'i Ilii« nai er irom time to time. Tin; "I'AVOKITK KE.V1EDY" is used to a treat extent in Charitable and ltt iorm Iiift.tutiin:*. where the in­ mates sutTer so frequently fcom Ki lneyand Liver Complainta, also disorders ar.eing from an imptiro bt:Oi' of the tilood. Mrs. M. I„. Dare, Matron of the House of Shelter. Albany. N. V.. informs us that this medic.ue ih used in that institution with excellent results, anil that she has used it personally for Indigestion and Biliousness with treat satisfaction. Mrs. Pare in so wc l and fa­ vorably known i'i connection with the above Institu­ tion tliat we could not cite more excellent authority. The Sisters ot the (iood Shepherd, Detr it, Mich., willingly add their testimony to the oflicacy ot the "FA VOKITK KKMKI >Y" ill cases that have come under their personal ohservati >n. To tin' thousands w ho have used Dr. KENNEDY'S "1AYUH1TK ltKMUDY" it ih unnecessary to say a word in its praise. To those, however, who have never used it, it is perfectly safe to eommtnd the medicine as one of the very best proprietary articles now helore the public. Dr. DAVID KKNNEDY, the proprietor, is one of the most prominent and highly respected residents of Hondout, wliere the "FAVOK lTr. HKMEDY" is manufactured. Dr KENNEDY has for many yes's been known as a reputable practicing physician of high standim;. ami the claims which he makes in favor of liis medicine • re. therefore, en­ titled to consideration. "FAY'OHiTE KEMKDY" lias KDiucd a widespread reputation, and the feet that its sale increases yearly is evidence that it meets with popular lavor. CATARRH HAY-FEVER. I can recommend Efy's Cream Balm to all Hay-Fe- ver sufferers, it being, in my opinion, founded on ex­ perience and a sure cure. I was afflicted with Hay- Fever for twenty-five years, and never before found permanent relief. --Web hit.r 11. Haskutb, Marslb- field, Vt. CREAM BALM has irained an enviable rep­ utation wherever known. displacing all other prep­ arations. A particle is ap­ plied into each nostril; no pain; agreeable to use. Pr.ce 50c. by mail or at dmctrist. Hend for circular. ELY BROTHERS, Drmiirists. Oweco. N. Y. The moat beautiful and finest toned in the world. I.ow i>r cei, ea*u pay­ment. Send for catalogue. Address Weaver Organ & Piano Co.. York, Pa. HAY-FEVER PATFIITS Hand-Book FREE. I ft I kll I R. 8. A A. P. LACEY, Patent Att'ys, Washington. P.O. AVOID « or> tkh: Send us 25 cents* :in<l We will send you by return njail a box of the genuine Dr, C. M 'lime's Celebrated liver Pills and eight handsome cards. Over titty mill­ ion boxes have been u.-ed by tire peeple ot the U.S. Wnat better certnicate could they have ? FLEMING BROS. Pittsburgh. Pa. good salary :y Skirt ana ers. Sample address Cincinnati ., Cincinnati, O. Agents Wanted fob Life and Deeds of rj.EN'I(lRANI VI By COLONEL Jf. JL BURK. It contains a fu l l history of his noble aud event ul life. Introduction written by Grant's Pastor, lie v. Dr. Newman. Col .Burr's work is indorsed by O rant's most intimate friends. Send for extra terms to a^ent*. Ad­ dress Nsttunai Publishing Co.. CHICAGO- 111. able sleep; effeots care* where allotkenfaiL A\ trialeo»nnc*tlM*mu>ttilcep4ieal. PriceAOCxMidi SA Bi­ tot Man and Beast Mustang Liniment is older than raoSt men, and used more sod more every year. "St AX • i sSlSi > V ' - ***** •«.' i v» # Price, 25 ctft., 50 cts. and Sl.OO per Rettle* SOLD BY ATX DRUGGISTS. V-v-aiS H. isi UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME. (Main Bnilttw.) The F.ightr-th rd Session will openiTuesday,"Sept. 8th. Full Courses in Classics, Law, sciences. Mathematics, and enisle. A thorough COMS1EKOAI. COURSE is one of the ) > distinguishing features ot the institution. Special ad- vantages are ottered to Students of the taw Course. - i1* ;,r:' : St. Eiiwanl's Hall, , 't/jj, tor lioys under 13. i« unique in design and in the com- * pldfcene^s of its equipment*. Catalogues, giving full , . particulars, will lie sent free 011 application to ^ - , He v. T. E. Walsh, V. S. C.. President. - j Notrv Dame, Indiana. St. MARY'S ACADEMY . UNinumm tOue mile Writ from Noire lhune l-uivertUy,) The C'-'d Academic term will open Monday, Sept 7th. The Academic Course is thorough in the Preparatory, j Senior and Classical Grades. Music Department, OB f the plan of the best Conservatories of Europe, is under charge of a complete corps of teachers. It comprise* s a large Muse Hall and as separate rooms for lustra* mcnts. Studio modeled on the great Art Schools of ps Europe. Drawing and Painting trem life and the an­ tique. Phonography and Type-Writing taught. Build- ins: equipped with Fire Escape ; ample accommoda­ tions lor Z'O pupils. For full particulars apply for catalogue to Mother .Superior St. MaiT'a,aotie l»Hine r. <>., St. Jnseiih Co.. Indiana. itlor i?a* OPIUM TELEGRAPHY • VAI.KMTINI rphiae Habit Cared Is !<fdays. N* par till eai J. BTiraun, Lebanon, Tamht Furnished '.NTINK BROS.. " FREE write tor/ree pamphlet.~A>tt] REGULATOR CO.. LEMONT. R. U. Loriilard's bearing a red tag ; Km« l.enf flnecut; K«vt Clippings, and that LorUlard's I "•» l«*t aoi" oheipest, quality constdnrmt Loriilard's s < Loriturd's t ij - aft. are \*l NEW ENOIaANS CONSERVATORY OF MUSICS Ronton, Mass., OLDEST in America: Largstt: and Best Equipped in the WORLD--lOOInatruct- ; ors, luit Student* last year. Thorough Instructionia Yoc '1 and Instrumental Muric, Piano aad Organ Tun-. in.-, Fine Arts, Oratory, Literature, French, Oerman. « and Italian Langu aires, English Branches.Gymnastics, etc. Tuition. |5to $„0\ boar 1 and room,$45 to $18par term. Fall term liegln« September 18, 1S85. For Illustrated (Vendor, givin* full information, addrc TP 1 . -i * * w • >1 Black Hawk NCMN Threshars IIOIISF-POWERS. ... ... . ' r-4- L <1 E. TOUKJEE. Dir.. Franklin So., BOSTON, Mass. ' . . * jj - * ts" t ^ * sj* * , ' j ' x : & t I ® I . V-Vr * ' Corn Shelters and Road Grata*. Made especially for Xorth Western Trade. gen4 for prices^circular*. Ac. II. A.. PITTS' BOMSMTS, CO., Marseilles. La Salle Cs., 111. The Best la the WorM is the AKRON Send to the undersigned for it, ax also for Drain TDa> Cement. Fire Clay, (iround Brick. Chimney Tops. Chimney Flue Linings, Plaster, Fire Sand, etc. N. A. WILLIAMS, 219 Washington Street ClilcaKO, III Fire Brick AXLE GREAS Best In the World. Get the inttai ry vat'kuiie liiii onr Trada-asr nirked Prnzer's. SOLD KTEIt BULLETIN BOAR | Hamilton's Fat. Disjlar Chart. •••lES" r,| :I^i n :7V wmm ! Every Merchant Wants One. AGENTS WANTED. Send for cir­culars and prices. HAMILTON & KATZ, two: rivers, wis. -j L\ ̂ M C. N. U. No. Sl-KS WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS, iJthR f,!?!.!*' x#" **w the advertisement l>ai>«T •«••• fc- BAGANY Magnolia Balm is a secret aid to beauty. Many a lady owes her fresh­ ness to it, who would rather not tell, and you can't telL tffr V " * •A, Vs ' '

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