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ts \ y' , r . V J' * •. - : Published •;v®*\v Wednesday by J. VA> NLYKE EDITOR AWO.PUBLI8 Office in Bishop's Block, --OPF08ITB PSBRY ft OWM'fc- TEBM9 OF 8UB9CRIPTI0W. Jne Year (In Advance) ..#1.50 If Not Paid within Three Months 2.00 Subscriptions received for (three or six months in the same proportion. Kates of Advertising. We announce liberal rates for advertising lit the PLAINDEALER,. and endeavor to state (hem so plainly that thev will be reuilily un- lerstood. They are aa follows: 1 Inch one year .. .. . 4 00 ® Inches one year - - - * M00 3 Inched one year - - - -15 00 S Column one year - . . . - - #000 Column one year- • • 6# 00 - Column one year - - - - 100 00 One inch means the measurement of one nch down the column, single column width. yearly advertisers, at the alwve rates, have the privilege of changing as often as they thoose, without extra charge. . Regular advertisers (meaning those having Standing cards) will be entitled to insertion •f local notices at the rate of fi cents per line Cach week. All others will be charged 10 cents per '.ine the flrst week, and 6 cents per line for each subsequent weet. Transient advertisements will be charged St the rate of 10 cents pe line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) the flrst issue, and I cents per line for an bsequent issues. This, itn inch advertisement will cost 91.00 for one week, f 1.50 for two weeks, $2.00 for three weeks, and so on. The PLAINDRALBR will be liberal in giving Sditorinl notices, but, as a business rule, it WilI require a suitable fee from everybody Seeking the use of its columns for pecuniary BUSINESS CARDS. H. T. BROWN, M.D. nHVSlCIAN AND SURGEON. Office St L Residence, McHenry, 111. PK C. H. FEGERS, M, D- VSICiAN AND SURGEON. McHenry, Ills. Office at Residence. O. J. HOWARD, M. D. IVllYSIOIAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, 111. Office one door West of tritzslmmons ft Evanson's store, up stairs. BARHIAN BROS. CIGAR Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or-tiers solicited. Shop, la Old McHenry, in Keiter Block, third door vtrest of Riverside WASHINGTON, D. C The popular palace hotel of the National Capital. Conveniently located and accessible to all the street car lines of the city. Open all the year. 0 G. STAPLES, t'ROl'RIETOR. Late of the Thousand Island House: ROBT SCHIESSLE " Having, purchased the old stuud of Joseph Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, McHGNBY, ILLINOIS, Keeps open for the accommodation of the Public a First Class Saloon and Restaurant, Where he will at all times keep tlie|best ?>^Sihtt»d» of Wines, I.iquors and Cigars to be found in the market. , / • Also Agent For fRANZ FALK'S KIMAUKEE LAGER BEER Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al­ ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quali­ ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended to. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. 49~Call and see.us. Robert Schlessle. McHenry, 111., May 15th, 1885. M A R C U S ' GERMAN Manufactured by F. MAR0.US, -DEALER I*-» PURE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. Woodstock, III. The Ue*i Tronic in ttje vorl'l. Put up in PitiianA Quart fiottloa. F. MARCUS. Patentee. DON T YOU FORGET IT! ASA W. SMITH, . --OF'- Wooclsfoolt, '*•..• llllnolii. Backed by Millions of money, ofei you fNUKMNITT against damage by ire, Lightning, Wind Storms, CYCLONES AND TORNADO#* Rrop mo a postal card and I will vtsttyou; i <m> me and I will write you a policy, and neither or any of these destructive ele- ts devastates your property, happy will be if you hold one of my policies, for I sureiv visit you, and .minister nnto}you. ijiot fpr^ake you. 44A W. 8MI1H, ASA W. SMITH, ATTORNET AT LAW and Solicitor in Chancery.--Woodstock, 111. S. F. BENNETT, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Also United States Examining Surgeon. Richmond, Illinois. E. R. BEaNETT, M. Late nouse Surgeon Cook Connty Hospital, RICHMOND, ILLINOIS, Special attention jtiven to difficult Surgical cases. DEVnsCII OE8PKOCHEN. Office at Residence of Dr. 8. F. Bennett. A. 8. CHILDS, M. D., - SOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SUR GEON, West McHenry, III. Calls promptly attended to, day or night. DR. C. R. WELLS. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, Wauconda, Lake Co., III. All calls promptly attend- ed, day or night. Office on Main St., east of Barker's harness (hop. MART G. BARBIAN. HAIR WORKER. All kn.da of Hair Work done in flrst class style and at reasonable prices. Rooms st residence, north­ east corner ef Public Square, McHenry, 111. DR. C. E. WILLIAMS. DENTIST. Residence Dundee. Will be at McHenry, at Parker House, the 10th lltb 25th and 26th of each month. When dates occur Saturday or Sunday I make my visits on the following Monday, and the flrst day of such visit occurs on Friday, I will stay but one day. A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker and Jeweler NO. 55 FIFTH AVE., (Brlggs House), Chi­cago, 111. Special attention given to re­ pairing Fine watches and Chronometers. WA Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLD STAND, JACOB BONSLETT, ^ALOON AND RESTAURANT, at the old J stand, opposite Bishop's mill, McHenry, 111. The choicest Wines, Liquors and Cigars to he fuund in the county. Warm or cold meals on short notice on application. PHIL BEST'S MILWAUKEE BEER by the Bottle or Case, always on hand. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. J. PEKOVSKY, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, Wholesale and Retail Dealer. HANDLES nore but his own make, and will compare his Brands with the best made in the State. Store and Manufactory next door to the Post Office, McHenry, 111. CHAS. H. TRYON. DRAINAGE ENGINEER,. Levels taken, drains located and grades es­ tablished for tile and open drains Elevations taken of springs, ponds and water courses, ami all work requiring accurate leveling. P.O. Address, Greenw<»od, 111. DO YOU KNOW THAT Plug Tobacco, With Red Tin Tag; Rose Leaf Fine Cu» Chew ing; Navy Clippings, and Black, Brown and Yellow Snuffs ure the best and the choieest quality considered. Attention Horsemen! I would call the attentfion of the public to Stable of Stock iorses, four in number: two Morgans, one 3-4Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They are all good representatives of their breed. Also a few Merino Sheep r sale. The public are cordially invited to call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday. N. S. COLBY. io-7-tf MCHENRY, ILL ML IK, PUMP REPAIRING, CEMENTING, ETC. The undersigned is prepared to do all lobs in the line of Digging Wel'.s, Repairing Pumps. Cementing Wells, or will put in New Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. In short will do all work in this line. Can furnish you a now Pump, either wood or iron, warranted, as cheap as any other man. Good references furnished if desired. If you want a Welt Dug. a Pump Repaired or a new Pump, give me a call. •^Orders by mall promptly attended to. Post Office, Johnsburgli, 111. L. BANTES. Johnsourgh, III., May 25th, 1835. LORILUBD-Sr:,: PLOWSHARE"" B l | | / \ Ask your • L vJ m Dealer for it BQBEBT C. BEMSTT, -BREEDER OF RICHMOND, ILL. (FIRST HEMIUM IT StcHRNBV OOUKTT FAIR- My fowls are of the celebrated DUKE OP YORK strain, remarkable for their great size and laying qualities. I can show a trio of last season's chicks weighing 31 pounds. Eggs, per setting of thirteen. $1.50, delivered to purchaser in Kichmontl* Shipped, securely packed, $2.00. ^ ^ fjjffvff ANDREW BRONT, HOUSE PAINTER, MOHEN BY, ILL, GRAINING, CALCIMINING, ETC. Done in the most, approved modera stilsa and Guarantee Satisfaction. •fir* Charges Reasonable. Can be found at Residence, ortr' Law 1 us' Clothing Store. Andrew Brant. J. C. KARGES, House, Sign n&Cwsiage PAINTER, Shop at MeMenry*Nouie, Near the Iron Bridge. I ana prepared to do all kinds of Patntiaf M chert notice, and guarantee satisfaction. Sign Painting a Specially. Call and see me If in want ol anything in the Painting line, as I am satislled that 1 can. please you, both in workmanship and price. «T. C. Karges, ̂ McHenry.iJune 15, 1885. v.\Vt^g£Ag[r bt H C. WIGHT MAN, proprietor. First class rigs, with or without drivers furnished at reasonable rates. Teaming Ot all kinds done on short notice. ATTENTION LADIE& - MRS-J H, SEXTOK, Yor the past ten years one ot the leading Dressmakers in Elgin, has moved to McHenry where she is ready to do Dressmaking in all the latest st> les. Satisfac­ tion guaranteed. - Cutting and Fittingsi specialty. Also agent for the I. X L., Tailor system of Cutting and Fitting. Full instructions given* Rooms two doors West of the Riverside House. 1AZETTB will be mailed, to any address in the 1 three months on receipt of OINJ8 DOLLAR. Liberal di--. agentK and cla Address Ml jt allowed to postmasters, Sample copies mailed tree irs to BICHABD K. FOX, JlUMKMH SQCABB, New York. 8m«tipra Call For N I C K E L T A G , ORM4CMXm STRAIGHT CIGAR. S I L V E R T A G , Qr M a Quarter Cigar. OR lOiCXm STRAIGHT CIGAR. The Finestlioods Ever Offered FO'tt.SALK BY All Fira^Class Dealers* RETAILERS ATTENTION. We advertise MM altove brands In the lead iag St. Louis ilwiles, and your name will ap pear among the Mat of agennies once a week for 60 days from «Htte of last purchase. >Vith flrst order we MM 3 neat and pretty siirns. We have tM |Hce for these goods from whioh there to •fttte.iation. namelv: Nickle Tag,#».00^8»l»W<'Tag,«60.00; Gold' Tag, #70.00 per 1000. We also carry the most extensive line of Domestie, Key \Vcst and Imported Cigars In the eoaatr y, at bot tom prices. Sample oKlare Mlicited, Uoals guaranteed. Address. » -~-jr 5eeSS MLB8, FI.ORIsTs' SCft and IMPMNSNTH MMled Fit BE MsppUeulM PLIMT of all kls«ii WUHO ruKE HIRAM SIBLEY & CO. ROCHESTER, N.V. CHICAGO, ILL ^22-326 E. Main St. 200-206 Randolph St W I N - S L O W ' S "VissyaRd" Roller Skates. ,n8SP.v-.{ . -mi m BABSMN3 ur For Coal and Wood CALL OH E M. HOWE Opposite Bishop's 1ML111* fho has a complete line of the best stores ill the market, as well as a large stock of Hardware, Mechanic's Tools, fIN, COPPER & SHEET IRON WARE, A.nd, !in|fact, every thiagjln the hardware itove and tin line. J f E W I L L N O T B E U N D E R S O L D . Call at his store before buying elsewhere, lobbing and repairing promptly attended to «VRemember, extra good bargains eaa al­ ways be obtained at Howe's. McHenry, Dec. 1, 1883 A book of 100 page#. The beat book for an advertiser to oon- sult, be lie experi­ enced or otherwise. M M ipapers and estimates of the cost of advertising. The ad vertiser who wants to spend one dollar, flinliin ittlie ln- for mation he requires, while foijiint who will invest one hundred thousand dollars in ad­ vertising, a scheme is indicated which will meet his every requirement, or cm 6eimod* to do so by slight charges easily arrwed at by COr» respondetice. 149 editions have been Issueo. Sent, post-paid, to any addressJor lOceMh % Write to GEO. P. ROWtLL at CO., NEWSPAPEU A OVERTISINii BUREAU. (lOSpruco St. Printing House Sy.)t New York. John Helm, 1 Algonquin, III., DEALER IJI Eudwate, StoTSS, Tib wan, In short, we keep everythiuJS in the above mentioned lines, which we are offe ing to the buy­ ing public as cheap as any other house in this section. Oall and us. JOBBNG ft REPAIRING, PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. ? ' JOtlN HELM. Algoo^iln>Feb. 18,1886, For the best, most durable mid e.ixicst run­ ning Kollor -kAtes get the 'VINEVAIM)." *TI (he principal Rinks are nsina'the "ViNKYARI)" Itoller. l'ut up in «ll Clamp, Half Clamp and Strapped Oomplrtc. The demand for these skate* ia so great that they are kept in stock by all principal liar I ware dealers tlnounhont the country. Manuf ictured by the Inventor and"Patentee % ^ ̂ #AMU6^.WIN3LOWf *VOROKSTKIt, MASS. P. HAUBERISCH, j MeHenp^-lllinolM, #3ii: 1 inform the farmers of McHenry and surrounding country that he is prepared to sell them a FIRST-CLASS PLOW, An<i warrant thesarae.at a lower price than *a« purchased elsewhere in the county, Ali ainds of BLACKSMITHJNG. WAGON Mi l ' ARRIAGE work promptly attended to. • tEPAIRING, • •tali kinds on short notice. «TGive nsa sail < nd we will please you both in quality m « • rice of work. P. HAUPERISCH. McHenry, III., Oct.7th, 1884. WE WILL PAY I2.00 A DAY to a reliable party, ladyl or gentleman, to receive orders for our publications. Any person applying foi this position, who cannst call on us personally must send photograph (which will be re turned), and Also names of 3 responsible business men as reference. Address ELDEB PUBLISHING CO . SALOON and RESTAURANT Buck's Old Stand, McHENRV, ILLINOIS. Pine Kentucky Liquors, French Bitters, ^ McHanrv La£er Peer. ftlta' liUmokte Bur, By the Bottle or Case. We buy none but the best and sell at Reasonable Prices. Call and see me and I null use you well. ANTONY ENGELN. McHenry, 111,, 1884. Written for the Plaindealcr. • DRKSSRR'S OBOIXKRIRS. NO. 28. *r L. U D.. ST. LOUIS, HO. A WOMAN CAUSED IT, Joseph Curdle is a bachelor, whose ajfe may probably be reckoned at forty years. He has a cheerful room, furn­ ished with all the comforts essential to bachelor life, located in a fashionable boarding house kept by Mrs. Grew. On a certain evening as he sat reading by the light of a student lamp he heard a peculiar tap on the door, anl hastily removing his feet from the top of a chair, he bade the visitor enter. As he did so a grave looking gentleman of about thirty, dressed in quite gay ap­ parel, entered the room. •'Why, how •re you, Bulger, old boy!" exclaimed Mr. Curdle. ^|lk In, IVn glad to see you." Mr. Bulger seated himself In a prof­ fered chair, and, lighting a pipe, he eyed h!« friend long and sadly. "Did yeu drop in to admire my image?" asked Mr. Curdle, "or did you come to examine the make of my clothest Come, wake up!" In reply to these, good natured abjuratioti9, the visitor smiled faintly and placed his hand upon his heart. "Ah!" said he with a deep groan, "It Is here! She has re­ fused me, and accepted a coachman. Oh, that the briny w.tves would swal­ low me, or • wild steer would gore me T' Mr. Curdle replied: "P'sliaw, you don't mean to say you are mourning for a woman--a mere w imau? Why man, I wouldn't have one of the crea> tures around me for a billion dollars. Now, foi |» stance, a woman wou't chew tobacco, or allow any body else to do so without a fuss. And what Is more, she objects to a tnau going to bed with hie boots 011. Why, man, woman is a holy terror! Woman Is the root, man the perfect flower." As he concluded Mr. Curdle hit the table such a bang that Mr. Bulger, greatly startled, fell out ot the chair into the coal scuttle. But reseating himself, he managed to make reply. Said lie: "You are wrong. Woman is the flower, man the iusect that preys upon its leaf. I loved my Nettln, for she has all the accomplish­ ments of an angel, being ablj to make doughnuts, fry kidneys, bake bread, mend rents in garments, and is capable of scrubbing the stairs. Besides, there Is something the matter, with her nasal appendage, rendering It impossible for her to smell cloves in a man's breath. I fully intend to kill myself -.0 night with a glass-cutter." ' Don't you do It!" replied Mr.Curdle. "Maybe she will leave her present husband,and fly with you to a foreign land, where English is spoken. Women are very changea le In mind, as Is known." Mr. Bulger shook his head in a mourn ful way hnd said he did not dee.n It probable, as his sweetheart had pur­ posely thrown a mug of vinegar at him. Said he: k'J proposed by addres­ sing a few stanzas of poetry to her and she wrote back that I was 'an old Billy goat,' and that she had married the coachman. It is terrible on my feel lags!" "Well," answered Mr. Curdle, "maybe you wrote something that wounded her feeling'. Let's see the poein, Got a copy of it ?" The unhappy man produced a paper from his pocket, and, written thoreon, his friend found the following poem: NETTIB OKAT. Mv love for you, sweet Nettie Gray, I s bound less as the realms of (lay, And when I come at even' time, Just its the bells begin to chime. My heart beats gladly in my breast, And o'er me falls n sense of rest. While, full of hope, with thoughts of you, The sky seems more divinely blue. And richer seems the thorn set bush,- On which the roses smile and blush, While from their bloom outpours a feentr Horn in the starry lirmamentl Oh, Nettie Gray! V'ou are the light That guides me thro' the trackless ntghtr- 1 he only star that casts a ray • Upon my friendless, lonely way I I count Time's elowly|dropmng Band,-- Grains from a mystic, far off land-- And hope betere another day, On silv'ry winjjs, has flown away, A warmer glow shall light my life-- That you will be, dear love, my wife. Mr. Curdle read the whole through, and looking up with a softened face, he said: "No, no, my dear friend. You have said nothing at which a true lady might take offense. The only way to get even with her is to challenge her husband to a duel. And, being a coach* man, he will naturally select horse- pistols 11s the weap.ins. You can prac­ tice in the back yard. A lighted candle is an excellent mark J 0 the night, and will ensure a trtier ito. We will begin at once." Mr. Curdle produced a huge horse- pistol, and loaded It while his friend went for a candle. Then, proceeding down stairs together, they went out Into the back yard. Presently a loud report was heard, aid immediately afterward the yells of the landlady's bull dog, which was wounded, resound­ ed through the air, and set all the cats, dogs, roosters and chi :kens in the im­ mediate neighborhood in the wildest commotion. The a.ithors of the excite­ ment scaled the back yard fence, and, coming around to the front door, en­ tered as if just returning from a walk and consequently were not suspected. It is surprising the amount of noise th* lungs of one bull-dog can produce, as is the variety discernable in the notes. In the morning the landlady wept so profusely upon the beefsteak that. In taste, it resembled salt pork, while the potatoes looked as if they jhad been out in a storm. As the duel never was fought it is probable the re­ jected lover concluded that It was too dangerous an aflair, and decided to let matters rest as they were, LOVELL. THE SOUTHERN EXPOSITION. LOtTISVUXB, KT., Sept. Si, 1385. From our Regular Correspondent. Prob ibly no foreign country or gov­ ernment has for the past quirter of a century attracted greater attention than Russia, owing to internal confliots and her wars and fusllades with other powers. Her exh<bit here, the re lore, attracts universal attention and study owing to the fact that every person appears to be Interested to that great country which Is now, in a time of peace, en­ deavoring to established close and profitable commercial relations with this great Republic. To the Hon. C. G. Hoffman, the Rus­ sian commissioner, your correspondent is indebted for much Information con­ cerning that far-off country and the privilege of a close personal examina­ tion, "behind the scenes," of Russian exhibit. We are Informed that Russia Is a greater petroleum oil pro duclng coun­ try than the United States and tha»- the famous "Oil Region" of Pennsyl* vanla must yield the palm to the coun­ try of the Cxar. We were shown many samples of thi6 oil in different condi­ tions, and informed that It is not only a good oil for light and fuel b^t is used as a castor oil and for other medical purposes, as well as preparing leather for boots, shoes and harness. It Is also a splendid machine oil. The import of this oil Into France and England has almost crowded out the American pe­ troleum, and I ideed for some purposes it is shipped to this country. All Ink manufacturad and sold In Russia is in the form of a powder, and the ink Is made by the user putting it |n water. They learned the necessity of this from their Ink freezing up. Russian sugar Is made entirely from beets and the common Wity of putting It up Is in the shape of a cone weighing several pounds and called a "loaf." It looks nicely and is very palatable. The citizens of that old country do not believe In coloring their liquors, therefore the "Wadkl," our whiskey, which they distill largely from rice and wheat is as clear as water aid like American beer, although much stronger |S very generally drank. The Russian cigarette smoker differs from the Frenchman and Spaniard in preparing his smoke. Instead of buy ing the tissue paper wrappers and roil­ ing it around flue tobacco he buys long paper tubes and loads them up the same as you would raui do«n a charge in an old mczzle loading gun. The pride of every Russian hame Is • lieir Somovar, or what we would call a handsome tea urn of peculiar pattern, made of brass and highly polished. It is sal,I a native will part with every thing else before givlug up the Soitf- ovar. I was shown some very handsome gold and silver cloth, or tapestry which is used In the ad >rnm?nt or furnishing of the rich man's home; also carpet so deep and soft that when you walked upon It you seemed to sink Into it up to your knee*. In the manufacture of yarns and fast oolored calicos this country has no su­ perior, and the spec! nena exhibited are certainly very fine. A grand piano worth f1,500 is on ex­ hibition, and the Commissioner inform ed your correspondent that at the Boston Exposition a few years ago a similar Instrument from the same fac­ tory was exhibited and over a dozen American orders taken and shipments made direct from Russia. In the tauning of leather Russia ap­ pears to own valuable patents and hold secrets unknown to other countries. Especially is tills so in the perfect preparation of horse hide, from which nearly all long-legged boots are made. No matter how poor a Russian may be he owns a pair of boots with the legs reaching far above his knees. At the close of the Exposition eight of the most costly article8 exhibited, including the grand piano--altogether valued at $3,000--will be raffled off rather than ship fie same back again. On Tuesday aud Wednesday you could notice an increased number of strangers in the city, and the hotels, boarding-houses, and private families were being taxed to to their utmost, to accommodate all. 'I he additional attraction to the Exposition wa* To­ bacco Day--last Thursday, the celebra­ tion in honor of the sale of the 100,((N> hogsheads of tobacco. We thought that It would be impossible to have a bigger day than the 15th of September when the Exposition was opened, but so far as processions and street demon- strationa go, la»t Thursday was the day of all days In Louisville. The citizens of this beautiful city have a just right to celebrate the fact that Louisville is the largest tobacco market iu the world. There was a prooession nine miles long, which consumed four hours In passing a given point. It was head­ ed by the police and Are departments, and in it were floats representing every branch of Industry. The tobacco trade was represented by huge floats picturing plantation soenes, the dis covery of America, Sir Walter Raleigh giving Queen Elizabeth a leaf of to­ bacco* eto. The procession moved to the~Exposition, where- the 100~(J hogshead of tobacco was sold at ute»i tlon for #2,0*23, or 91.70 a pound, ttfi highest price ever paid for a hogshead. The total value of the tales of tobacco' in Louisville this season I* 912,003,000. Over 50,000 people attended the Expo­ sition during the day. Yours Respectfully, W. D. B. Aa Anecdote of Beta BrammeUL "Your dinner, sir! Why here is th«l bill for that, which you see, with the '! wines, amount to three pounds teo, j and this you have handed me la only t| shilling!" | "Yes, I see it's only a shilling," said | Beau, looking cautiously at the coiit*| which the landlord held up to htm be-l tween his thumb and finger, "but ijf can't help that. You told me I could' have a dinner for my money, and I as--i sure you, on the honor of a gentleman, that little coin Is all the money I pos-| Be88. By some unaccountable accident I it happens to be only a shilling; I wish for your sake it was something else." I A puzzled, angry look came over the face of the landlord for a momeut and then gave place to a broad grin. "Well! I suppose this might be call* ed a joke, eh! One of the yery good. If not very funny sort. Your name • is--" "Bruinmell, sir; Beau Brumraell, at your service." | "I thought so. Well, Mr. Brummell, I assure you that, while appreciating^ the joke, I am not so selfish as to want to monopolize the whole benefit of ft. I'll tell you what I'll do," and, with a chuckle, he took Beau's arm, led him to the door aud pointed across the way to the house of his rival. "Do you see that place on the corner j there P" "Quite plainly," said Beau. "Well, I will give you a receipt In full for the dinner you have had and eay no more about it, provided you will go to-morrow and play the pro­ prietor of that house the same trick." Beau paused a moment, as if In thought, then drawing out hl& car. case and handing one to the host, said: "You're a good fellow, and I should like to oblige you. There is my card, If you will furnish me with a list of proper .establishments I will tend to. them.in their proper order; but with this fellow across the way I might have some diffioulty. You Be* I w th«re yesterday and he sent me here!" --The Caterer. It Is esti nated that tite eor&l crop of 1885 will reach 1,990.000,000 bushels. At the Same time the exports of provisions are falling far below those of last year, as those of last year were far below those ot previous year*. It Is a question whether so large a yield of corn under these circumstances will prove an unmixed blessing to the farm­ ers. If there is net within reach a market for a greatly increased quantity of provisions, it will be found dlfiBcult to consume a large stock of corn, and Impossible to Bell it. But the people will gain, nevertheless. To them the great yield will mean cheaper food at once, and probably cheaper animal food for some years to come. It means a lower cost of living, and therefore an ability to produce more cheaply. A large corn crop is of less Importance to the railroads than a large wheat crop, because a comparatively small part ol the corn produced is transported any distance from the place of production. Yet even to the railroads a great corn crop will this year be an important help, because the yield of wheaiJi un- ̂ usually smiall. ' ^ J A Boston paper quoted a cwreift ® paragraph alleging that the death of Ex-Senator Fenton leaves A. B, Cor* nell as the only living ex-governor of New York, and added: MThls leave* Hamilton Fish out of account." Then the Portland Advertiser queried: "Is Simuel J. Tilden, the great 'reform* governor, dead, then f" Aud this gave the faithful Boston Herald an oppor-* tunity, which it Improved with th!s: "It didn't occur to either paper Uiat New York has an ex-governor living whose name It Grover Cleveland.** Though all the world bealde should forget O. C., our Boston namesake can be trusted to revive memories of him. Thus far the intelligent Eastern press has recalled the names of just half of New York's living ex-governors. #*The Macon, Miss, Telegraph says It has three rules for the treat- men* of poetry that wear well and ar« effectual: "If we come across a poem that strikes us we publish it. If we come a ross a poem that will, we think, strike the public, we publish It wheth­ er It strikes us or not. And if wo come across a poem that strikes lis not and is not apt to strike the pub.Ie, it strike* in the waste-basket with a loud, re­ sounding strike. This is the result of observation. Poetry" is uot poetry at all times nor to all people. A man to wear pants must have legs, and a maa to appreciate poetry must hive a heart and Imagination to spread it on. If he lacks them, or If they are out of tune, he is apt to be unfriendly to whole race of poet«, except such ttli Is fashionable to prabe." Machines to be found in the coooty,^ O. W. Owen's* if: ass®