Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 18 Nov 1885, p. 6

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I. VAN SUKE. Editor M 4 PuMlaHtr. McHENRY, ILLINOIS. CONTENTMENT, «,» war stttin'on tol'able well-- V lfatiMy, the children, an' me-- J r" :1If we didn't out much ^ a swell, | * - We war snug as wo v. anted to b®. tliar war plenty to do in them times, , An', a'thoufih 'twa'n't so very big P*J». managed to save a few dime* On oar dollar'n a quarter a day. JBut there came a rich banker along, / An'he bnilt a house over the way. . - ~*Theh ev'rvthing seemed to go wrong ,p,'tWith Matildy an' me f'ni that day-- JOnr cottage got dreadfully small, * ^ An' we wanted, as never before, ; » porch, an' bay-window, an' hall, ^ An' our name on a plate on the door. « tfow, I never was much on advice, , 7 ?- But there's one thing I reckon I knowi* * "*• - <Wher> a man's got enough to suffice, 'JlMfe* He'd better just keep along so, * An' mind his own business alone, ' 1* - • / An'not give his jealously vent, £$?' ' I"or the best thing a jxwir man can own ' i I« a stock of good-natured oouWnt. • ^-Chicago Newt. * ^ • 3( • - 1 - •„ IF I WERE YOU. JWhy did he look so grave ? she asked. What might the trouble be? ">•>. •fMv little maid," bo sighing Bald, ' "Suppose that you were me, jKnd you a weighty secret owned, Prav tell me what you'd do?" Hi think I'd tell it somebody," i Said she, "if I were you I" jhit still he sighed and looked askanOBt . Pespite her sympathy, . .fOh, t<41 me, little maid," he saia , f ; ';. Again, "if you were me, iAnd if vou loved a pretty lass," Ob, then, what would you do.?? •I think I'd go and tell her so," She said, "if I were you!" i •• ^jMv little maid, 'tis you," he said, _r "Alone are dear to me." , , A >&h, then, she turned away her head* .And ne'er a word said she. But when he whisptwd in her ear, "»« And what she answered, too-- © no, I cannot tell you this; I'd guess, if I were youl : ffjggMer*' Journal. THE LOST LETTER. BY* ERNEST TBAVIS. ' I - ;• "IP? "m- A beautiful afternoon in s great city, the mohth, August, the scenes, an extensive clothing establishment, where the constant clicking of sewing machines, the low hum of the operatives engaged in desultory conver­ sation, and the rattling of the vehicles on the streets without, made life, temporarily, a babble of strange noises. Of all the pretty girls in the establish­ ment, there was one who, as she bent over the cutting table, busily engaged in sorting out some heavy work for the corps of tail­ ors in the room below, smiled quietly, and, humming la low tune to herself, seemed, iat heart, in perfect harmony with the blue, spotless sky. and the fresh, balmy air of the beautiful summer afternoon. She had rea­ son to be happy, too. for there is no period in a young girl's life so delightful as when a first love 4s reciprocated, and its object is tendered a proposal of marriage by the hapy suitor. 0 Such a proposition had Jennie Arlington, the pretty sewing girl, received, and the unique manner of her reply had been the cause of much Becret enjoyment on her part. --• - : It seems that on the floor below, Edward Barnes, a quiet, unassuming young fellow, but devotedly in love with pretty Jenny, had charge of the department. All the ma­ terials cut at Jennie's table were here made up, first passing through Jennie's hands. He had written her a letter that morning in •which he told her how earnestly he loved her, and asking her to reply that day to his proposal of marriage. Her heart beat with joy as. at the noon hour, she indited him a brief, modest note, asking him to call upon * er at her home that night, and intimating hat his attentions were not regarded in an ^unfavorable light. Her timid, shrinking nature prevented her from making any one sufficient of a confidant to take the note to Edward, but the happy thought coming into her mind that if she sent it down with the batch of garments she was cutting, he wpuld be sure to receive it. as all such came directly under his supervision before being apportioned out to the operatives. With a happy smile she laid the little missive between the folds of material, and as the boy carried down the parcel, thought blissfully of her new-found joy and happi­ ness. It was with a light step that she tripped down the stairway when the day's work was over and hastened home to arrange her hair and dress herself to look her best upon the expected visit of her betrothed that evening. Her heart fell and a cruel surprise paled her flushed face and dimmed the happy lustre of her eyes as hour after hour went by and Edward Barnes did not come. The tears came bitter and fast as she began to believe that his proposal was a farce and that she had been made the object of a cruel decep­ tion. Her suspicions were confirmed when she came down to the store in the morning. Instead of his usual smiling welcome, Ed­ ward bowed with cold reserve to her, and, although she fancied she detected a sad re­ proach in his eyes, she did not break the Silence his manner enforced. So,* as thedays went by, these two hearts drifted farther and farther apart. Jennie's rosy cheeks grew pale and her bright eyes dimmed, and Edward Barnes from a light hearted youth developed into a sad, thoughtful man. Alas! what bitterness and woe that single word of explanation,^unspoken by either proud suffering spirit, might have saved But how could Jennie Arlington have sur­ mised that her tender love missive never leached its intended destination? Instead 'it had met a strange and unusual fate. Ed­ ward Barnes was absent on jnission for the establishment when the parcel of clothing sent down containing the note had been brought to Ills desk by the boy, and the work had been apportioned out by one of the opera atives who carelessly handed Out the ma terial Amid the quick manipulation of the garments by deft fingers the little note lying between the folds of lining had lain in its snug covering and had , been sewed inside the garments by the unconscious op­ erative. - The goods made were part of a large orders for a country clothing house, and the garment containing the note was a por tion of the order. So it went upon its way leaving two severed hearts, pining in dis pair, victims of a sad mistake. But the end was not yet. reserve on the put of Mrs. Sprf«tos, but little imagined that the lovable lmle wom&n was All unaware of the fact that a gossipy neighbor, an old maid named Miss Smithers, had exaggerated his acci­ dental meeting on the street with an old lady school-mate into a positive love scene, he went into the sitting-room one day after dinner to get his coat which he had given to Mrs. Spriggins to remove a grease spot he hrd accidentally got upon it. He started back as he entered the ipart ment in dumbfounded amazement, as his wife, the coat in one hand a letter in the other gazed at him wildly and bursting into tears cried hysterically: "Oh, you base deceiver--I have found jtou out at last, and Miss Sun--Sun-- Smithers was ri--right!" "Is she mad--is she crazy!" cried the mystified husband in mingled alarm and surprise. "Mad--crazy!" sobbed Mrs. Spriggins, "no only broken-hearted. To think after ten years of married life that it should come to this." "This," seemed to be the coat which she thrust towards the stupefied Spriggins who glanced perplexedly at a long rip m the in­ side linning of the garment. "I knew there was something wrong when I felt that letter in the coat," continued the weeping wife. "Mrs. Spriggins," «said the mystified husband, beginning to grow mad. "If you'll explain this abused nonsense I'll be obliged to you." "Nohsense!" screamed Mrs. Spriggins, hysterically. "He calls it nonsense to de­ ceive his true and faithful wife, and receive letters from other women. Bead that, sir, and then keep up this deception if you can." She thrust "the letter before his eyes as she spoke. His wondering glance fell upon the in­ nocent missive, startled and surprised. "DearEdward,"' the note ran. "If you will call at my house this evening I wil give you an answer to your declaration." Mr. Spriggins face wore an expression of utter perplexity as he finished reading the note. "Well?" he said, simply. "Well!" shrieked Mrs. Spriggins. "Oh, hear the wretch and see how cool he takes discovery of his perfidy." MJS. Spriggins," he said sternly, "if you can stop your raving long enough to explain what this note means, I will be Obliged to you." "What does it mean? It means that I found it in the lining of your coat. You play your part well, sir, as if you didn't know who 'Jennie' was." "It's a base plot!" cried Spriggins, excit­ edly, "I swear" I never saw this note be­ fore." "Oh, of course not," replied Mrs. Sprig­ gins, scornfully. "It's an advertisement of the firm, a price ticket, I suppose. You are very innocent, indeed." And expostulation and explanation only ended in more complication, and Mrs Sprig­ gins growing more hysterical, Mr. Sprig­ gins becoming indignantly enraged. "I'll trace this up," he cried. "I'll seek out the vile calumniator and plotter against my domestic peace," and seizing letter and coat he dashed from the house. He had no definite course of action in mind, but his thoughts at once accredited all his troubles to the suit of clothes. There was no doubt but that the letter had been in the coat when he bought it, for out­ side of removing it at night, it had not been off his back. He never stopped un­ til he had reached the establishment where. he had purchased the garment. With rapid incoherency Mr. Spriggins "detailed tlie story of the iefter to the pro­ prietor. "And you are positive that this letter could not have been placed in your coat since you bought that garment of us?" he asked, incredulously. "I api," firmly respoiMed Mr. Spriggins. "Then we must trace up the suit. Let me see; it Was one of a lot ordered by us. I will write to our manufacturers and see what they can make of it." He did so. A week later the heart of Mr. Spriggins was made, happy by the true solu­ tion of the mystery of the letter. It had been sent to the firm and inquiry explained the entire matter. Mrs. Spriggins' jealousy vanished, and two hearts were made happy, for Jennie Arlington and Edward were reunited and a month later were married. A suit of clothes has made .many a man comfortable and joyous, but none ever did so fortunate a double service as the suit purchased by Mr. Edward Spriggios. . The scene changes to a country clothing Store two months after the occurrence of the events just detailed. The store referred to was well crowded upon the afternoon in question, when Mr.' Edward Spriggins, a well-to-do citizen, entered for the purpose of selecting a suit Of clothes. "I would like to look at some clothes," Said Mr. Spriggins to a clerk as soon as he Was disengaged. "Yes, sir. We have a new stock to select • from, made especially for our trade," and Mr. Spriggins was soon deeply immersed in looking over an assortment' of ready- jnade clothing. "It fits me exactly," he murmured in a tone of satisfaction, as. having selected and donned a suit of clothes, he viewed himself before the mirror. ! He paid the bill with a broad smile upon his face which a delighted man always ex­ hibits when he is well pleased, and walked home briskly, bent upon astonishing Mrs. Spriggins with a view of his new suit and its tine adaptability in color, material, and artistic make to his manly form. Alas! amid the rapt congratulations of Us wife .and' his own self-admiration, he little realized what an interesting history that suit of clothes was destined to develop. The storm broke about one month later, for some time past, he had noted a strange How Southern Women Bide. In this country the Southerner is the most constantly in the saddle, and a good rider in the sunny south is a thoroughly good rider. "But I have often wondered at the number of poor ones it is possible to find in localities where everybody moves about in the saddle. Many men there,- who ride all the time, seem to have acquired the trick of breaking every commandment in the decalogue of equitation. Using horses as mere means of transportation, seems sometime to reduce the steed to a simple beast of burden, and eques­ trianism to the bald ability to sit in a saddle as yon would in an ox-cart. , I think I have seen more graceful, equestriennes in the South than any­ where else--than even in England. Although the Southern woman refuses to ride the trot, she has a proper .sub­ stitute for it, and her seat is generally admirable. Though I greatly admire a square trot well ridden in a side-saddle, it is really the rise on this gait which makes so many crooked female riders among ourselves and our British cousins. This ought not to be so; but ladies are apt to resent too much severity in instruction, and without strict obedience to her master a lady never learns to ride gracefully and stoutly. In the South ladies ride habitually, and, moreover, a rack, sin­ gle-foot and canter are not only grace­ ful, but straight-sitting paces for a wo­ man.--Patroclus and Penelope. Would Change Her Name. Iffcwas dust, and George and Jennie sat alone under the stars. "Berdie! Sweet!" exclaimed George; "Hove you passionately." "Birdie," S&aid Jennie musingly, "Birdie has a sweet, endearing sound as a pet name. Ah, George! but will you call me Birdie after we are mar' ried?" George gave- a start, and his faee grew pale. He quickly recovered him­ self and said manfully: "No, Jennie. I cannot tell a lie. shall not call you Birdie after marriage. The name then will be an insult, for birdies ever have their bills, and often peck at men." Jennie was overcome.--The Rambler. •ta the ^TCneHfNK of XAdtoa. A well-bred man removes his hat in the presence of ladies in any roofed public place, and he does them, though strangers, a favor. Unless you are well acquainted with a woman let her 'bow first; but between old acquaint­ ances such ceremony is needless. When walking with a male acquaintance you must salute his friends by raiding your hat also. Never stop long to converse in the street. Don't smoke in public places where there are women, unless such is the custom of all frequenters.-- Neva Xork Star. |Op Serving of OnMti. Not every one who .can skillfully carve a joint, or & fowl, is capable of serving it. Nothing but a natural di­ plomats can successfully accomplish the feat. The "eternal fitness of things" should be carefully considered by the host previous to serving his guests; and the apportioning of special parts of a dish to certain individuals should be distinctly understood and fully impressed upon the servant wait­ ing upon the table. Many a host, how­ ever, fails in this essential requisite for the perfect accomplishment of a din­ ner, his chief aim apparently being to get rid of the pieces before him, regard­ less of the sex, age or tastes of his company. A man of this kind ought never to be allowed to give a dinner; and it rests with the guests to decide whether they will ever a'second time be found seated at such a man's table. 1 have witnessed at privata dinner parties (lie tuost egregious blunders committed by servants. Plates con­ taining del««?*elei intended for certain •perilled giants. given by mistake to those who neither cared for nor appre­ ciated them; while those for whom they wero intended got that which they least relished. A stupid waiter should be carved, drawn, and quartered. When the carving is done at a side table I hold it a good rule to jAace the dish before the master of the house, so that he, presumably knowing the tastes of his guests, can properly serve it The custom of passing the carved meat around the table, allowing each person to help him or herself, I do not con­ sider wise. Two-thirds, probably, of. the guests--especially where the com­ pany is a little mixed as regards age and sex--scarcely know the difference between one piece of meat and another, and, therefore, naturally take that which is closest to their hand. Indeed, if they know the difference, they feel a delicacy about turning over the various pieces on the dish in searchof that which they prefer. Whereas, if the host himself sends it to them, they have no scruples in accepting it Of course the waiter should be instructed, when he receives the plates, to place them without an error before the person for whom they wer^i intended. The fashion which used to exist of passing, in the name of politeness, the plate Bent to you by the host, to your neighbor, is now, happily, ignored. In the old days--say twenty-five years ago--I have seen a plate of meat, handed to a guest at the right of the host, pass entirely around the table un­ til it found a resting-place in front of the guest on his left How preposter­ ous was this! As the plate passed from hand to hand its contents depre­ ciated in value, and was little better than "cold vittals" when it reached its' final abiding place. Another old-fashioned custom which we have fortunately outgrown, but was once regarded as the height of polite­ ness, was for none at the table to be­ gin eating until all surrounding it were Abuses of the Pre-emption Law. This law grew out of the "log-cabin, hard-cider, and 'coon-skin" campaign of 1840. Within the State of Minne­ sota alone, during the past three years, over 150,000 acres of Government lands were taken under this act fraud­ ulently, investigation showing that out of 170 claims, in fwo only had even the. forms of the law baen complied with, and thiB in a region mainly valuable for its timber, and, in the meaning oi the law, not subject to pre-emption. S I J / T I I I K I .-i » w-Yet somehow these pre-emotors hold, helped (Ilike the word helped in place^and tbe lalrtte are lo6t to the Govern- At BAVira/li rl'kA«n 1* a « ' Didn't Want to Be Arrested. "Come in mine frendt undt puy you von oof dhose fine, excollendt, vurst- glass, seliuf-spring, dooble-acting, dur able, strong drunks," said a Hebrew to Celtic gentleman, last Monday, on Eldorado street. "An' phwat do Oi want to git drunk fur V" "To geep in your clothes." "Not mooch, me by, Oi'll kape sober an, kape nie duds on me back, ye hay then.. Do ves shuppose Oi wanter be arristed fur indaycent axposure?" Stockton Maverick. ARABELLA (on her toes, in a chair, clutching convulsively at her skirts)-- "Oh, Bridget! A mouse! a mouse Come and catch it, quick!" Bridget-- "Sure, mum, there's no hurry. If this one gets away, I can catch plenty more for yer, mum." of served). Thereby, however, many a plate of soup grew cold e'er partaken of; and goodly slices of mutton or beef were chilled, and thus rendered unpal­ atable. Of course it would be quite impolite to proceed the moment a plate of soup was placed before you, to "guz­ zle" it down immediately, instead of waiting a few seconds, until your neigh­ bor, especially if a lady, was served. You m ay employ the moment, if you be a dull man, with toying with the crust of bread before you; but if a witty one, you will critically" examine, with one eye closed, the sherry wine in the glass you uphold, remarking upon the deli­ cate perfume and the nutty flavor of a true wine--a real Amontillado of high grade--which it possesses; though in your consciousness you may privately shrug your shoulders and whigper to yourself that it never saw the land of Don Quixote nor ripened in the town Of Xeres under Andalnsian suns.--Phil- adelphia Caterer. A Brave Woman. "Ah, yes," responded the doctor, "he certainly was the coolest man I ever saw on a death-bed on an ocean steamer. The second night out I was called to his cabin. He lay in< his berth, this tall, gaunt westerner, looking like a corpes. As I went in he said, cheerily: 'Doctor, it looks like I'd made a mis­ take. I reckon I ought not to have come to sea just now. But I did kinder think my strength would hold out to get me to Italy, and there luight get round again.' I knelt down by his side and carefully examined him. I told him that had he asked my advice before coming, I certainly would have forbidden him undertaking the voyage. He smiled feebly and said: 'I knew you would, and that's the reason I didn't ask ye. Wife and I made up between us, didn't we, wife? Though reckon she Towed I'd better stay at home.' Death had already set its mark upon the man's brow. I told him as gently as I could I feared the worst, but ^hat he might succeed in weathering the voyage, which was a rough one. He interrupted me by saying: 'That's all right, doctor. Don't you worry none about me. Ef I die jest have 'em chuck me overboard, and don't make no effort to get me to shore. I ain't afraid on it, nary a bit, and my wife's prepared to see me go.' "His wife, seated on the cabin sofa, buried her face in her hands for a mo ment, but when she looked up it was placid. As I went out he repeated: "Mind, now, what I tell ye, doctor, and just let fem dump me right into the water. What difference does it make where a man's buried ? He died three days after this, 'and was, of course, buried at sea. Two days after his burial his widow gave birth to a child. My heart went out to this desolate widow, about to be landed on a foreign shore with a new-born babe in her arms. 'Madam,' I said, 'your admirable courage is enough to waken anyone's warmest sympathies. Can we not as­ sist you in some manner?' What do you taink she answered? She said: 'Doctor, don't mind me. I've seen a heap o'trouble, and I'm used to it The last child I bore before this one I was in a flat boat floating down the upper Mississippi river. The Indians were firing at us from both sides o' the stream, and my husband was flghtin' :em from the boat We've seen power- I <nl hard times, but I don't feel broke iNi*' «l> money _ me goin'awhile, and I reckon I'll have to stay in England »-- this little one get big enough to go back again.' She aiid her babe airrtred safely in port, and I never saw them more.--Brooklyn Eagle. - feasting in August* It was on the afternoon of the vety warmest day in August that the child­ ren came running to me crying: "There are some boys and girls from the village out on the hill, and some from the hotel on the mountain, and they all have brought their sleds." It seemed such a puzzle to me, that I rose and went out to see what was going on. When I reached the spacious balcony. I was almost convinced that the whole valley had been bewitchad. There were gathered at least twenty children and half a dozen sleds. The boys were dragging the ileds up the steep slope of the hill-side that rose from the road in front of the house, while the girls followed after as well as they could ̂ It was not by any means an easyffeat to climb this Blope. Though at a casual glance it seemed as soft and velvety as a well-kept lawn, it was to the unwary a delusion and a snare. The midsummer sun shines down upon the Adirondack Mountains with as much ardor aB on the city streets. Though the nights are cool, frequently even cold, there are no dews, and usually but little rain. So the short thick grass that grows abund­ antly upon the sides of the lesser moun­ tains, or, more properly speaking, the foot-hills, becomes somewhat parched and smooth, and as slippery as ico. The children, then, had before them quite an amount of 'hard walking, but those children were like mountain- goats, hardy, willing, and able to climb anything. •>, I watched them ' with interest. At last the top was reached. Then, the sleds were turned upside down, and the runners were rubbed vigorously with candles; this completed, the sleds were put irrto proper position again, three children seated themselves upon each, and a gentle push started them down the slope. How swiftly they came! The slope was steep but smooth; not a rook, Btnmp, or stone on its surface; there was no danger, and tbe sleds stopped on the sandy road. For two long hours this colony oi children coasted--till the grass was worn almost to the roots, and the sup­ ply of tallow (which ie^ indispensable for this midsummer coasting) was ex­ hausted. After all the little ones were weary, we older people joined in the fun. I own to having made the descent but once--that was quite enough for me. I never before had heard of this novel amusement; but, startling as it seemed at first, the novelty soon wore away, and I became quite accustomed to the sight and sounds of coasting in mid­ summer.-- Mrs. Frank Gregory, in St. Nicholas. ment A few specimens of reports made by "special agents," detailed to examine the truthfulness of applications for final proof, will Berve to show one method by which so-called pre-emption settlers seek to evade the law. P. E. '2835. W. Borowick, sec. 7, S. E. J, 1(50 acres. Found no improvement of any kind. P. E. 2831. M. Statucki, sec. 8, N. W. 160 acres. Found log hut five feet high, twelve feet square; no door; a hole cut for door; no floor; no chinking; some poles and bark for roof, not habitable, and never inhabited; no clearing or cul­ tivation of land; no sign of settlement or human occupancy. . E. 2512. Roller Ryder, sec. 17, N. E. 1(50 acres. Found small log pen seven feet square, two feet high; no cultivation no ashes or sign of fire. And so through the long list In many sections of the country the evasion of this law has become a regu­ lar organized business; offices are opened, men employed, and paid wages ^o make pre-emption entries, agree­ ments being made to transfer lands so acquired the moment the title vests in them. But beyond making such agreements in violation of law, it is well known in the land department that "these loca­ tions are in every respect fraudulent, the parties to them never making the required improvements, and seldom setting foot on the lands claimed, the title in many cases passing into the hands of dishonest speculators who are willing to become parties to perjury and fraud." They are made on lands chiefly valuable for timber, mineral, or water rights, in the interest and by the procurement of others, and not for the purpose of making a home, as contem­ plated by the act.-- Feeder B. Paine, in Harper's Magazine. Why Charles O'Conor Spelled His Name with One n. He went to Ireland and visited the seat of his ancestors at Belanagare, in Connaught, the result of which was that upon his return he changed the orthography of his name. Before that time he and his father had spelled Conor with two n's but he then dropped one of the n's upon discovering that the family name was anciently spelled that way. I was once asked if I knew why he had changed the spelling of his name from two n's to one, and I an­ swered that he was descended from the Irish kings, and found when he visited Ireland, that they spelled the name in that way, which information Mr. Nathaniel Jar vis, the witty clerk of the court of Common Pleas, who was present, supplemented . with the remark that he supposed that the Irish kings had always been so poor that they had never been able to make both n's meet.--The Citizen. Why hhe Was Skeptical. "It is said that Margutte, the giant in the Morgante Maggiore, died of laughter on seeing a monkey pull on his boots," read Smith in a newspaper. "I don't believe such an absurb story," remarked Mrs. Smith, very em­ phatically. , ' ' "Why not, my dear ?" "Because, John, you know I.scarcely smile on seeing you pull on your boots." A suit for divorce will follow.-- Newman Independent TH* seed vessels of the bird«catehing trea of New Zealand secrete a very sticky gum, in whioli sot merely in­ sects but birds are entangled and per­ ish. * • A BE CENT Earthquake in France af­ fected only the chalk formations at the earth's surfaee, and was neither heard or felt by men at work in the coal mines beneath. A NT'MBEH of granite roeks have been found by Indians on the Snake River, Oregon, which contain impressions of deer and bear feet, and one of which ha* a very distinct human footprint A FOITB-III'NDRED-WEIGHT "lead" sent down from the Challenger in the abysses of New Guinea struck bottom at the tremendous depth of 4,450 fath­ oms, or 20,700 feet, which is the deep­ est sea sounding yet effected. FROM statistics collected in fhe abat­ toirs of Munich and Augsburg, Strauss has found that not more than one calf in 100,000 is consumptive. The danger of conveying consumption with vaccine obtained from these animals is, there­ fore, slight. THE value of vaccination is illus- rated by the registers of an old hospital in Prague, where the mortality from small-pox from 1670 to 1815, that is, in the pre-vaccination period, was 27 pet cent., while from 1815 tol885 it has been only 4.53 per cent ^ ACCORDING to Henry Vivarez, a French electrician, silicious bronze has a conductability comparable to that, of copper and a strength greater than that of iron. For telegraphic pur­ poses silicious bronze wires may be used to replace those of galvanized iron more than five times as heavy. IN countries having mark%d winter seasons, earthquakes are found to be more frequent in winter than in sum­ mer. Dr. Knott, of the Seismological Society of Japan, finds only two possi­ ble meteorological reasons for this-- one being the stress of accumulated enow, and the other that of high bar- ometric pressure during the cold sea­ son. THE use of nitro-glycerine as a sub­ stitute for alcohol for stimulating the action of {he heart has been recom­ mended hfr Dr. J. B. Burroughs. The advantages claimed are, that only a minute quantity is required, that the nitro-glycerine is practically free from taste and odor, that it acts immediately and that it is not likely to induce a craving for alcoholic stimulants. WATER does not boil until the ten­ sion of the vapor formed by heating it is greater than the atmospheric press­ ure. At the sea level, where the press­ ure of the atmosphere is about fifteen pounds per square inch, the water must be heated to 212 degrees before its va­ por has sufficient tension to overcome this pressure. At Argenta, Montana, where it is so much above the sea, hav­ ing a much less depth of atmosphere the pressure is not so many pounds, and the boiling point is correspondingly- lower. Water boils at 200 degrees there. PROF. A. YOOEL observes that the hemlock plant which, yields conune in Bavaria, contains none in Scotland, and he concludes that sunlight plays an important part in the generation of al­ kaloids in plants. This^ view is con­ firmed by the circumstance that the tropical Cinchonas, if cultivated in feebly-lighted northern hot-liouses, yield no quinine. The formation of tannin seems to be influenced by ex­ posure of the growing bark of the beech or of the larch having been found to increase from the less illumi-v nated to the more illuminated parts. * . A Street in Siena. From a paper by W. D. Howells, in the Century, we quote the following: "Let the reader not figure to himself any broad, straight level when I speak of Via Cavour as the principal street; it is only not so narrow and steep and curving as the re'&t, and a little more light gets info it; but there is one level, and one alone, in all Siena, and that is the Lizza, the public promenade, which looks very much like an artificial level. It is planted with pleasant little bosks and trim hedges, beyond which lurk certain cafes and beer-liouses, and it has walks and a drive. On a Sunday afternoon of February, when the mili­ tary band played there, and I was told that the fine world of Siena resorted to the Lizza, we hurried thither to see it; but we must have come too late. The band were blowing the drops of dis­ tilled music out of their instruments and shutting them up, and on the drive there was but one equipage worthy of the name. Within this carriage sat a little refined-looking boy--delicate, pale, the expression of an effete aris­ tocracy; and beside him sat a very stout, gray-mustashed, side-whiskered, eagle-nosed, elderly gentleman, who took snuff out of a gold box, and looked like Old Descen in person. J. felt, at sight of them, that I had met the Sienese nobility, whom otherwise I did not see; and yet I do not say that they may not have been a prosperous fabri- cant of panforte and his son. A few young bucks, with fierce trotting-ponies in two-seated sulkies, hammered round the drive; the crowd on foot was most­ ly a cloaked and slouch-hatted crowd, which in Italy is always a plebeian crowd. There were no ladies, but many women of less degree, pretty enough, well-dressed enough, and radiantly smiling. In the centre of the place shone a resplendent group of offi­ cers, who kept quite to themselves. We could not feel that we had mingled greatly in the social gayeties of Siena, and we wandered off to climb the bastions of the old Medicean fort-- very bold with its shield and palle over the gateway--and listened to the bees humming in the oleander hedge be­ neath." Shipwrecks. No very complete statistics of ship­ wrecks have been compiled. Among those attended with unusual loss of life were the sinking of the Boyal George, off Spithead, August 29, 1782, in which over 600 perished; the burning of the Queen Charlotte, off Leghorn, March 17,1800, 673 lost; the stranding of the three vessels, the St vJeorge, Defence, and Hero, off the coast of Jutland, De­ cember 24, 1811, with a loss of 2,000 persons; and the sinking of, the steam­ er Princess Alice in the Thames, Sep­ tember 3, 1878, over G50 drowned.--In­ ter-Ocean. No DEVOTEE of tobacco, says Dio Lewis, has graduated at the head of his class at Harvard, or any other col* lege where statistics have been pre­ served, nowithstanding the fact that a large majority of college students are smokers. KEEP your conduct abreast of you? conscience, and very soon your con­ science will be illuminated by the ra­ diance of God. No less than 18,061 young women are at college in this country. i a Contempt jfer "Am Kurnal Paradox Johnson in de hall dis eavenin'?" blandly inquired Brother Gardner, as the regular weekly meeting opened on the forty-seventh degree is dne and regular shape. The "Kurnel" arose. He was there. Some time ago he invented the theory that Canada thistles could be culti­ vated to bear mustard plasters, and his oountenance betrayed the faet that he expected to be patted on the back, and ordered to take the stool of honor, un­ der the bear traps. "Kurnel Johnson will please step dis way," continued the president, and the Kurnel advanced to the front, bestow­ ing a look of three-ply contempt on Hon, Erastus Furlong as he passed him." "Brudder Johnson," said the presi­ dent, as the victim stoord before him, with folded arms, "I want to spoke to you in de plainest English language. I harn dat you hav invented a theory ?" "Yes, sah." "It has bin a long time workin' Hp to BTclimax, hasn't it?" " "'Bout a y'ar sab." "I thought so. It was "bout a y'ar ago dat I noticed you quit work, an' began to sot around on de curbstone. You didn't cotch on to dis theory wid- out a hard struggle, did you?" "No, sah. It just almos' upsot my mind." "I thought so. I rememUei* when you gin up de curbstone fur saloon so­ ciety. Later on you began to play 'craps' an' policy. Toward de last agony of your struggle you begun to shake dice au' buy lottery tickets on de money your Wife aimed at de washtub. Inventin' a theory am powerful hard work, Brudder Johnson." "Yes, sah." "It am so hard dat you wife an* chill'en am now beggin' fur bread an* ole clothes, while you am in debt to everybody who'd trust you, and your landlord am gwine to frow you out o' de house." "I--I is sorry, sah, but £ couldn't help it" / "Brudder Johnson!" said the presi­ dent in a voice which made Elder Toots shiver like a faded burdock in a win­ ter's gale. "I want to say to you, an' to all other members of dis club freu you, dat no culled man in America has any bizness wid a theory--an original theory. If white folks has got time nuff an' money nuff to loaf around an' diskiver--in deir own minds--<lat de moon am full o' jackasses which gal­ lop up an' down, or dat the norf star contains a race o' people who walk on deir heads an' feed demselves wid deir toes, dat's all right. De problem wid de cull'd man am, fust, bread an' but­ ter; second, house rent an' raiment; third, sich eddicanhum as will enable him an' his'n to write an' receive let­ ters ; keep posted oh current events; figger up how much a week's wages comes to at a dollar a day; realize dat de Atlantic am upon one side of 113 an' de Pacific de odder, an' hev de sense to go to de polls an' vote fur honest, de­ cent candidates, no matter on what ticket deir names appear. I shan't fine you, an' I doan' want to expel you, but you will retire to de ante-room with Giveadam Jones fur de space of ten minutes. If you hold to any per- tickler theory arter he gets freu wid you it will be sunthin' you are per­ fectly welcome to!" When the "Kurnel" returned to . the hall after the "proceedings" he was a changed man. One coat tail was en­ tirely missing, the other badly bat­ tered, and his general appearance was that ef a man who had met the tail- end of a cyclone in a country where there was nothing to hang to.---Detroit Free Press. The Way of the American Waiter. In the true American dining saloon the waiters are not females. A woman is a noble creature, but Bhe cannot give to such an establishment its distinctive style. Neither are they Germans nor Frenchmen, for these think too much of their customers and .too little of themselves. Frenchmcu and Germans may have their strong points, but they give us no true idea of volunteer fire­ men of the olden time. If an Ameri­ can dining saloon waiter does not strut up and down the passage between the tables as if he were marching proudly down Broadway before his "machine," or if he does not call for tea and toast as if he were shouting through a trum­ pet in the midst of the smoke and flames of a conflagration, "Turn on yer water, Big Six!" then he is a counter­ feit, an imposter. You may, perhaps, be reluctant to proffer your modest request for food to this apparently superior being, who slowly advances toward you and stops, 'perchance, to rest, leaning upon your table and gazing pensively toward the door. But you need not fear. Ask for what you want, and though he may give no sign of listening, your end will be attained. Even when he leaves you, in silence, and goe£ to lean on two or three other tables, despair not, for soon you will him see strut proudly down the passage toward the kitchen and hear him shout the trumpet tones: "Once on the leg o'mutten! Two beans! Three times on the roast beef, and one ov 'em rare! Pe-e-e-e soup! Tapioca puddin', both! Boiled apple dumplin', hard!' Plate o' buckwheat, brown." You may little imagine it, but your order is there somewhere, and although there may be half a dozen other waiters all thundering out at the same time equally conglomerate commands, the time will come when your waiter will strut up to your table and deal out to you from a pyramid of dishes he car­ ries, the plates containing your meal, and then, carelessly chuching a check upon the table, he will strut away with­ out knowing or heeding whether the dirty bit of pasteboard has landed in the butter or the gravy. When he has left you, you will probably find upon the table everything you ordered; and, whether you ordered it or not, you will have a boiled potato. An unorder­ ed boiled potato, with the skin on/is the second grand characteristic of an American dining saloon. It matters not what meal it is, the boiled potato will always appear, if the estab­ lishment is truly legitimate.--Brook­ lyn Eaijle. AU AliilOjIiig jiai. Kosciusko Murphy's finances are not in a flourishing condition. He, how­ ever, managed to scrape together money enough to buy a ticket for the circus. While he was looking at the performance a man right behind him said: "Your shabby old hat annoys me very much; I can't see the perform­ ances." "Shake," said Murphy, turning around and,r extending his hand, "I thought I was the only man who was annoyed by the shabbiness of that hat, but it seems that I've got a fellow-suf- ferer."--Texas Siftings. To the victims belong the boils. WHEN in rum do as the rum'nns dew WHEN the cat's away the mice will prey. A WINK in time strengthens the soda water.--Texas Sifting«. WHEN a miss is as good as a smile, her smile never comes amiss. --Carders' Gazette. t Do WOMEN injure their backbones through too much back talk?--Stock­ ton Maverick. THE hammer that cracks a good Joke at the same time eraeks a smile.-- Stockton Maverick. THEY now propose to hold an insect fair in Chicago Bome time in August Dudes of each sex, size and condition, will be admitted. THERE is more magic in one child's innocent prattle^, than there is in the growl of a regiment of pessemists.--• White Hall Times. iTis said the Lord is everywherey but it is hard to understand how in­ finite Peace could feel at home in a po­ litical convention.--Chicago Ledger. THE King of Siam has about 800 children. This explains why the favorite hymn among the people of Utah is "Just as Siam."--St. Paul Herald. A_CANDIDATE says he is in the hands of his friends, but he finds before he is done, that the hands of bis friends are in him, and in pretty deep, too.--Mer­ chant Traveler. SOME people take more pleasure in giving medicine and advance than they do any other commodity on this broad hexnisphere. Queer, ain't it?--Carl Pretzel's Weekly. "HAVE you ever been to a picnic, Johnny ?" No, ma'am; but I've seen Jess Nickum's old valler dog with a tin to hie and tail, that was fun enough for me."--Chicago Ledger. IT has been discovered that cast iron may be made malleable by plunging it when hot into a preparation of molasses and water. Taffy has never been sur­ passed as a softener.--Boston Courier. A LITTLE Eighth street lassie saw a wax candle burning for the first time. When she saw her grandma she told her about the "stick of candy" she saw "with a match stuck in it."--Brooklyn Times. IF there is anything which will make a fat newspaper man blush, it is to find that his bathing suit has shrank to the size of a penwiper while he has been enjoying a swim.--Fall River Ad­ vance. A MAN named Shurtleff, traveling in the west, engaged in a game of poker with a stranger on the train. After losing all his money he put up his clothes, and when the game ended he had only one Shurtleff.--Norristoum Herald. DEAL TENDERLY WITH HIS REMAINS. • ; Now lower the coffin gently . ;:'5 Into the new-mn.de gruve, !'t And let the c ods fall softly on j The bosom of tha brave. rf Ab ! he wus a noble soldier (Be gentle with the Bi'iide), For this is the hundred-thousandth mill '*i Who charged with "The Light Brigade." --Boston Courier. AN exchange publishes an article dealing with the subject of: "How to act when caught by a tornado." This is published exclusively for the benefit of bachelors, as the average Benedict knows exactly what to do under such circumstances. He puts on his hat aud takes a stroll tin til it blows over.--- Indianapolis Herald. "MY SON !" said Mr. Gabriel, as he wooed his child to abstain from con­ cluding his green apple feast, "I am not much of an astronomer, but if you will join me in the library, and oblige me by assuming yonr favorite bathing costumes, I will convince you that some sons may have spots on which re­ quire no scientists to explain the origin of."--Yonkers Gazette. SCENE--English primary school. Mistress teaching her class the alpha­ bet To Johnny (aged five)--"Now, Johnny, let's hear how well you can say your letters right through." Johnny-- "Ha, be, se, de, he, hef, ge, haitch--" Schoolma'am--"Can't you say 'aitch,' Johnny ?" Johnny--"Yessem--haitch, hi, ja, ka, sheol--" Schoolma'am-- What? There's no such letter as that. You mean L." Johnny--"Yessem, Hi know, but my ma says we musn't say hell any more, coz they oalls it sheol now."--Peck's Sun. Civilization. « Says Prof. Swing: When it was dis­ cussed among the students of forty years ago whether civilization contains more happiness than the savage con­ dition, it was forgotten that we cannot secure the facts upon the savage side of the case. It is wholly impossible to call the witnesses, because they would not comprehend our questions, nor should we their replies. Upon the side of civilization we could pile up the ills of poverty, crime, diseased, batiled hopes, unhappy marriages, disap­ pointed ambition, the injustice of Gov­ ernment and of man to man, but when it comes to hearing the other side the barbarian could not be called, nor if called would he find any interpreter. We know, indeed, that poverty is an evil, vain longings are an evil, unhappy married life, ill-health, failures in bus­ iness, vices, sins, all evils, but when we ask what it is to be a Sioux Indian, or a Fiji Islander, or a Bushman of Africa --a mind that .has a few grunts for a language, revenge for amusement, raw meat and stupid sleep for luxuries--no answer can come to us, because we have never been in that death of the soul and mind, and, therefore, cannot come as by resurrection to bring any report into the court of civilization. If one were to ask you whether it were better to be a man or a dog, it would be almost imperative for you to confess the difficulty of the answer because of i your inability to secure all the facts j upon the dog's side. Not Social, bat Lively. "We hadn't many social advantages at the place where I boarded, but the j old man and woman were at outs, we had three varieties of mosquitoes, aj cross dog, and a hornet's nest in the! orchardman ugly buck in the pasture, aj dead rat in the" well, red ants in thei pantry, a minister at dinner twice a! week, the old woman was determined! I should marry one of her girls, thel old man wanted to borrow money from! me, there were six boys uu iho placef all under 15. I gathered cowslips withlj the girls, ate onions with them, andj kissed them all abound the same day.) It was lively--very, very lively."- Chicago Herald. The Crowded Hotel. Tourist--"Wbat's my bill?" Clerk--"Let me see--your room waa Tourist--"I didti't have any room. slept on tbe billiard table." Clerk--"Ah, me, I'll just charge yon 50 cents an hour for the use t of thi table. That's what wo general!^ get' --Harper's Weekly. n

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