Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 13 Jan 1886, p. 6

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:WJ r§|riitg fttaradcaler -- -- ir VAN SLYKE. Edttar and Publisher. McHENRY, ̂ - ILLINOia THK HOW UTO THE SWOKDw Mov TBB onvix, BT B. F, BTONMAI*. There *M a count, the'Bt.ory runs, Wh<» knew that shortly he must m, • Bo culled he to him his two sons To shore his goods and property.' ' ' Ko* for a plow, alxo a sword, The aged warrit>r made request; They brought hiin, these the sons adored, That ho could make them his bequest. "My eldest son, my valiant heir, Tou will th e sword in future wieUj The mountain with its castlo th*-r<* And all of h.inor you sbS.ll shield.*, _ , «!To yon, not less, my kinder son, To you the plow do I now give: In binds which quiet huts stand on There yon in peaceful toil shall liTB." ^ Ilife -wearied then ho falls to sleep -As he this simple blessing gives: The Rons his laaudates truly keej>, And faithful are throughout their lives. To-day where is that sword of willf , That castle and its hero man ? ' . Whew ore the Ian4s with villas stiH? And where the peaceful, humble yeoman? ~ Oh I ask not how the story ends, *Tis known full well throughout the throng; To ru'ns deep the castle bends, That sword has rusted long. The Inn ils, though, lie in lordly pride Beneath the sunshine's gladdening rays;" The golden harvests ripen wide For one has held tho plow these days. CONTKNTBENT. - BT EITOEKE FLXLDI, We wargittin' on tol'able well-- „ ^.ifatildy, the childers, and me-- , U."we didn't cut much of a swell, \Ye weT,> as snug as we wanted to be, Tker' war plenty to do in them times. An' a'though t'wa'n't so very big pay, managed to save a few dimes On one dollar'n a quarter a day. Wat there came a rich banker along, An' he built a house over the way, "Xl)"n ev'i ything seemed to go wrong With Matildy an' me f'm that day-- . Our cottag • got dreadfully small. An' we wanted as never before, A porch, an' bay-window, an' halt. An' our name on a plate on the wot, *0w. I never was nroeh on advice. But th re's one thing I reckon I know; W» ien a man's got enough to suffice, He'd better just keep along so. An' mind his own business alone, An' not give his jealousy vent, lft>r the best thing a poor man can own Is a lot of gv od-natured content. ENTOMOLOGY EXTRAORDINARY. i-Mx*. Snglish Story. the honorarium with that affeotation of nneonseiousness which in invariably assumed by the disoiplec of ^Escrula- pius on such like occasions. On my return I found Kitty brimful of feminine curiosity to hear" all about my new case. Not less fanoiful and sanguine than myself, she already fore­ saw all sorts of splendid results arising from this visit. I expatiated upon the charming friendly manner of Mr. Han- gel, and, of course, in a far less enthu­ siastic manner upon the beauty of his wife and the sweet simplicity ot' her Expression! Kitty, who averse as some of her sex tiny other woman praised, was greatly Interested in all I told her, and de­ clared that as soon as Mrs. Ran gel was strong again she would call and make lier acquaintance. This was done in due course, Rnd we found our new neighbors very charm­ ing and pleasant people. Mr. llangel both. Bui I, who knew the Ran gels most intimately, and had been witness of the tender affection which subsisted between the husband and wife, angrily scouted such an idea, And was quite con­ vinced that poor Mw. Rangel was a widow indeed. Of course she was altogether quite destitute of means of support, so we got up a little subscription among our­ selves, which was supplemented by some city friends, until it reached hall-door was wide open, and it was evident that a commotion of some sort was going on inside. We entered, and no one appearing to announce our ar rival, we walked straight into the draw­ ing-room, where a truly marvelous scene met our puzzled vision. Strug gling in the grasp of a tall, dark man, whose gait was somewhat familiar to me, was our charming little friend Mrs. Range), but the impulse which urged me for the moment to make sotne des- about The rector, too, had m .de i perate effort to release her was effect- Mrs. Brockman acquainted with all is not so I details of the sad story, and the good- to hearing [hearted woman at once wrote to the young widow, and told her that she might remain in the house, rent free, until her own a return the following year. The moment we heard this it struck us that it would be an excellent thing if Mrs. Rangel were to let two of the rooms, and we suggested the idea to was a most agreeable man of the world, | her. At first the little woman showed ' . .t anec<iote information ;^arid i a great objection to doing so. She was ™ naturally retiring and shy, and shrank "Ohl Charlie, the new people who have taken Langford Villa sent for you this afternoon," exclaimed my wife, in breathless excitement, as she opened the door for me. "Just like my luck, to be out of the way when such a chance came," I growled. "liut it's all right, dear," replied Kitty cheerfully, "i told Mr. Rangel I expected you back every minute, and he le'.t word that you were to go to them as soon as possible." "Did he stiy what it was?" "I believe he did, but I did not pay much attention to it It is no matter what it is so long as you are called in." It may be surmised from the above conversation that the "cases" were not of daily occurrence to me. I had only been s:x months atlvyek-igh. and so far the appeals to my skill from paying fiatieuts had been few and far between, t is true that I had every opportunity of improving myself by practicing on the poorer members of the community, who "fee'd" me with blessings on my skill or curses on my ignorance, as the spirit or spirits moved them- But, although experience is valuable to a medical man, something more is re­ quired to keep himself, his wife, and a th; ee months' old baby. And we were beginning to think we had made a mistake in settling at Kreleigh, and handing over moat of our avail­ able capital to the canny fceotch doc- tor, who showed such satisfactory books, but quite omitted to mention that when his practice was so flourish­ ing, he had been in partnership with a popular Dr. Sale, who had since sepa­ rated from him in anger, taking al­ most all the patients with him. Under these circumstances, it was not sur­ prising that my wife was in the great­ est ntate of excitement when the new . arrivals sent for me, or that I groaned |in spirit when I thought I had missed | my luck, and that my hopes bounded up to the zenith of joyful expectancy wh'-n I learned that it was still to be my privilege to prescribe for the inter­ esting patient or patients. A thousand dreams of future greatness, rose before my mind's eye as I hurried along. I had already succeeded ; in imagination Sir William Jenner as Queen's physi­ cian, and quite eclipsed Sir William Gun, when I reached the corner of the road leading to Langford Villa. The house was a red-brick, semi-detached residence, of which one sees a thous­ and counterparts in the various su­ burbs of London. There was a bay- window to the drawing-room, with a gay flower-box around it; there was a little strip of fancy garden in front, and the same amount of grass or gravel at the back. Langford Villa was the property of a Mre. Brockman, from whose health I had been led to expect great things, but who was ordered abroad by a selfish London physician and thus took ber ailments and'guineas to the medicos of other lands*. The lady had let her house furnished to Mr. Rangel, who was partner in a most respectable firm of solicitors. Mr. Rangel hastened out to the hall to meet me, and told me that he had been anxiously expecting me for some time. I observed, carelessly, that it had been a busy day with me, but that now I had half an hour at his disposal. He then explained that it was for Mrs. Rangel he wished my advice. She had been imprudent in exposing herself to the night air, and now complained of a sore throat, and was so feverish that her husband became alarmed and sent for me. The lady was certainly suffering from a severe cold, and I found her throat much ulcerated. Even under these disfiguring circumstances her rare beauty and sweet, innocent expression attracted my admiration and attention, and 1 did not wonder at the husband's affection for such a wife or at his dread of losing her.' "No danger, I hope? Nothing of typhoid or that sort of thing ?" he said anxiously, as he went down stairs. I assured him that, in my cpinion, there was no cause for alarm at pres­ ent, and that if my directions were strictly followed out, I trusted Mrs. Rangel would be able to be about again in a few days. Mr. Rangel brightened up consider­ able when he heard this, and we chat­ ted pleasantly together for nome time. A* he r«pene<l the gate for me he slipped a guinea into my itching palm. My first impulse was to toss the wel­ come coin up into the air, and execute m caper of triumphant delight; but 1 wasted the temptation, and pocketed ai * i • his wife won our hearts by her artless manner and her beauty. We were all Inusical, and there was scarcely a week We had not one or two4 delightful even­ ings together, either at our house or at Langford Villa. Nor were we the only people who appreciated the attractive couple; they had soon quite a large circle of friends--our rector and his family being among the most intimate. For three months all went merry as a marriage bell. I had even glided into some sort of respectable practice, all because I was "getting to be properly known," as Kitty remarked, and, rightly or wrongly, we dated the turn of our luck from the day Mr. Rangel called me in to attend his wife, and we felt grateful to them accordingly. About 11:30 one night, I was roused Up by a violent ringing of my bell, and I found the llangels'servant at my door in a great state of excitement. She begged of me to go to her mis­ tress, who 'was took real bad--some­ thing to do with master," she thought; but she knew nothing, and had run over for me as quickly a? possible, leaving Mrs. Rangel alone, as the cook had left the previous day, and her successor had not yet arrived, I hastened to Langford Villa, but there was no smiling Mr. Rangel to receive me, nor was he with the poor little creature, who was in violent hysterias in the drawing-room, her golden hair being all in disorder, and her pretty face contorted by terror and grief. "What brought this on? Where is Mr. Rangel?" I.asftod hastily of the servant. The girl knew nothing except that Mr. Rangel had left for the city at the usual hour that morning, saying that he would not be back until the last train; as he was engaged to dine with a friend. Mrs. Rangel had sent her to bed a little after 10, saying she would wait up and let Mr. Rangel in, and sbe v®is roused out of her sleep by violent ringing of the bell and screaming. She rushed up stairs and found her mistress going on as if she had lost her senses, dashing herself about, shriek­ ing and clutching a letter which she still held in her hand. From the inco­ herent words Mrs. Rangel let drop, the servant gathered that something had happened to Mr. Rangel, and she thought it best to go for me at once. ^ , I did all I could for the poor little woman, who soon dropped back, quite exhausted bv her struggles. I hoped she would sleep, but in a few moments she arouseJ herself with a wailing cry, and when she recognized me, she ex- cla:med piteously: "Ch, do try to find him! I may not yet he too late!" "What is it?" I asked gently. "As you are aware, I would do anything to help you, but I know nothing. Has Mr. l'angal met with an accident?'* "Worse --worse!" she oried hysteric­ ally: "read that!" She thrust the crumpled letter into my hand, and burvihg her face in the cushions, sobbed in the most heartrending man­ ner. As I read the letter I no longer won­ dered at her grief,and dispair. It w*as from Mr. Rangef, but bore no address. He wrote: / vt fc\Vhen you get this letter, my darling, the wretched man you call husband will have ceased to exist With heartfelt contrition I confess the weakness and wickedness which for yours I have kept secret in my own bosom. I am a gambler. "I have not only lost every penny that wan lawfully ours, but I raised £2,<AI0 on a forged bill, which the Westminster Bank cashed. I had every expectation of being able to take it up when it fell due to-dfiy, but tho man I most counted on failed me at the last moment, and nothing but ruin and disgrace stare me in the face. I can, at leant, save you from the ig- nommy of being a felon's wife, and leave you free to l>esto'.v your hand on a worthier mail in the vears to eoaie. "•flove you so unselfishly that I consider the sacrifice of my useless life, as nothing, if it lightens the burden my mad weakness has thrown upon you. UI am sure the Malbvs and all our other kind friends will comfort and advise you in your hour of triaL I pray they may riot visit" my shame and }<uilt on your " innocent head, but stand by you and keep you to some brighter future. "God bless vou, mv darling! Your loving and wretched husband^ RICHAKD RANGEL. " My o.wn eyes were misty as I read the letter. I grieved for the man him­ self, whom I had grown to like, and whose fatal and desperate act shocked me beyond all power of expression; but I grieved doubly for the stricken, help­ less creature before me, left desolate and crushed by her husband's tragic death, and I solemnly resolved to strain every nerve to do what I could to alle­ viate her sad lot, and to induce others to come forward and help too. So by way of a beginning, I sent Kitty over at once to stay the night with Mrs. Rangel. After the first outburst of ber griefhad passed, the little woman showed wonderful fortitude and self control, and astonished us all by the gentle submission and calm courage with which she faced her altered life. The most searching inquiries threw no light on Mr. Rangel's last hours, or on the mode of his death. No one had seen him in the city beyond his usual hour, neither could the person be dis­ covered bv whom he sent the letter. All that Mrs. Rangel knew was that just about the time her husband was due there was a ring at the hall door, and sbe at once went out to open it. When she did so, a man threw in the letter and ran away. Greatly fright­ ened and perplexed,, she tore it open and thus learned what hud happened, The porter at our ruilway station had not observed any stranger arrive by the last train, though one hour early they had both noticed a tall, sandy-haired man, who walked off in the direction of Langlord Villa. If this was the person, what had he done with himself during the hour, and how had he returned? Poor Mrs. Rangel could give us no asnistance, as she had been too agitated to remember any­ thing of the hurried glimpse she got of the bearer of the fatal tidings. There were those in our community who considered Rangel a thorough­ paced scoundrel, and refused to believe that he had committed suicide at all, declar­ ing he had run away from his wife and creditors, equally anxious to be free of %> one or from having a stranger in the house. She was, moreover, too young and pretty to receive a young gentleman lodger, and, like most women, she had a horror of one of her own sex, as likely to be too exacting and in the house all day. It seemed difficult to avoid other of the objectionable species; but in the midst of our perplexity, a most eligible person appeared onjthe scene, "just as if he had been specially made for poor Mrs. Rangel's rooms," as Kitty enthusiastically remarked, when shejijtd seen him and heard all about him. This was a certain Mr. Crusher, who arrived, bringing with him a let­ ter of introduction from one of the late Mr. Rangel's acquaintances, who had heard of Mrs. Rangel's circumstances, and expressed himself delighted to help her in any way. Mr. Crusher, he said, was devoted to the pursuit of entomological studies, and just then wished to find some quiet, respectable house where he could compile his great work on "The Individual Disposition'and Habits Ex­ hibited by the Common Domestic Black Beetle." The gentleman, might perhaps, be a little eccentric, bitt as he would pay well and require scarcely any attendance, he appeared to his in­ troducer to be specially suitable in every away. We all came to the same conclusion when we saw him, and even poor Mrs Rangel laughed heartily when describ­ ing to us the appearance of the ento­ mologist He was a tall, lank man, of so mummified and fossilized an aspect that he might be any age from 50 to 500. He wore a greenish brown wig and lightly-cropped mutton-chop whiskers of a dark-red color. We never got a look at his eyes, as he con­ stantly covered them up with a huge pair of blue goggles. His dress, too, was as antiquated looking as his per­ son. He wore old-fashioned snuff-col­ ored garments, the peaks of hiB collars came well up his cheeks, and a high black stock made him look as if his head were fastened to his body by means of a block of wood instead of a neck. He was slow and stiff in his words and movements, and apparently so absorbed in his own thoughts as to be oblivious to all that went on around him. He brought a large box of en­ tomological books and several cases of dried specimens, which Hannah, the servant, declared g ive her "the creeps to look nigh." But when, in addition to these de­ funct creatures, Mr. Crusher arranged his captured living specimens under glasses, all over the chimney-piece and tables, the disgust and terror* of the female inmates of Langford Villa be­ came intense, and they were ahvays carelul to tuck up their skirts when passing his precincts, to avoid gather­ ing up any stray beetle which may have made its escape from, or been set free by, the lodger. Barly every morning this lodger was to be seen peering about the back and front garden, inspecting the ground and the walls, and returning with some insect for the day's observation. But so far Mr. Crusher's habits, if objectiona­ ble, were comparatively harmless. When, however, Hannah suddenly came across him one night on the cellar stairs, and mistaking him for Mr. Ran­ gel's ghost (which he declared walked), went off into violent hysterics, the affair became very disagreeable. Mrs. Rangel remonstrated with her lodger, but he would not be brought to see that he was at all to blame. The crea­ tures to Whom he was devoted came out more readily in the dark, he said, and exhibited their interesting peculi­ arities more freely when they believed none of their natural enemies were near. Mrs. Rangel appeared to us to think more seriously of the affair than it deserved, but we could make every allowance for her being nervous and excitable after such a shoeh as she liad received. * For some little time after Mr. Crusher refrained from his nocturnal expedi­ tions ; but then he offended more deeply than before, for, not content with seek­ ing his beetles in the lower regions, he had actually pursued one energetic specimen up stairs, and arrived at Mrs. Rangel's dressing-room just as the creature disappeared under the door. Into this dressing-room the little widow bad put all her husband's belongings, and locked them up, until such time as she could brace herself for the melan­ choly task of going over the. clothes and papers, and finally arranging and dis­ posing of them. She bad, in fact, con­ verted the apartment into a shrine or sanctuary, into whose hallowed pre­ cincts she never allowed any one to set foot but herself. Judge, then, of her startled feelings when she heard the handle of the door of this room gently tried, and, rushing terrified out of her own room, came upon Mr. Crusher, in dressing-gown and slippers, peeping under the doorsilL The lady's indignant and almost hys­ terical demand for an explanation for his presence in the forbidden region, Mr. Crusher coolly stated what had brought him there, and finished up by asking Mrs. Rangel to be so kind as to unlock the door and let him observe what his cherished object was doing in­ side. The widow's reply was an angry command that he should suit himself with other apartments before that day week, aud when we heard all the cir cumstances of the case, we could not blame a young, unprotected woman for objecting to a male lodger who prowled about the house at unorthodox hours, and even had the audacity to show him­ self just outside her own room. The evening before Mr. Crusher was to leave Mrs. Rangel's a little street boy arrived at our house in breathless haste to say that the servant at Lang­ ford Villa had called out for him to run for us and ask us to go there as quick as possible, as something dread­ ful had happened. We lost no time in obeying the summons, wondering greatly what could have taken place. A cab, with the driver and another man on the box, was at the gate, the ually checked by the stream of abuse and bad language which flowed un­ ceasingly from her lovely lips, and was finally extinguished by the sight of the defunct Mr. liangel himself. I stared in blank amazement, but there ho was, worn and haggard, but most indisputa­ bly alive; moreover, his hands were adorned by a pair of haudcuffs, and the stolid village policeman Rat by his side, looking as if lie had but a very faint idea of what it was all about, "Wha,t on earth is the meaning of alV this ?" I faltered. "I'm a detective, sir," said Mr. Crusher laconically, as Mrs. Rangel ceased her struggles and her vitupera­ tions, and flushed scalet with shame. It was indeed Mr. Crusher. I recog­ nized his voice and his figure, although he had discarded the blue goggles and the brown wig. '•But I don't understand," I contin­ ued. * "I've had a warrant out against this gent for months," he said, his profes­ sional pride prompting him to furthee explanations; "forgery and embezzle­ ment, sir; took a lot of trouble to nab him; but the beetles did it." "But what has Mrs. Rangel done?" "Mrs. Rangel! Bless your inno­ cence, she ain't Mrs. Rangel! Oh, she's a deep un, she is?" he continued, con­ templating our lovely neighbor with involuntary admiration; "been hiding him in this very house all these months; almost a pity Bhe's got to be took for being mixed up in the affair. Now, then. Smith, it's time we wgre moving. You bring the gentleman along, and I'll look after you, madam; by your leave, please." And escorted by Mr. Crusher and his stolid subordinate, Mr. and Mrs. Rangel disappeared from our astonished gaze forever. • . Dorsey, the Carrier Dog. Dorsey is the suggestive name of a California mail carrier. He is a dog. His official wages are small and, through the proper authorities, he has made application to have them raised. At present he gets two beefsteaks a week. He wants his salary raised to seven steaks a week and mileage. TTin constituents have signed a petition to that effect, and the dog looks anxiously forward to the day when Postmaster- General Vilas shall grant his petition. Before Dorsey was appointed regu­ lar mail carrier between Calico and Bismarck, in San Bernardino County, his reputation was not the best. He is a black and white collie, with sharp nose, bright, quick eyes, and the usual shaggy coat. The way he came to be installed as a government employe was this: The postmaster at Calico had a brother in the mines at Bismarck to whom he wanted to send word one day; The place was three miles up the mountain, along a barf-, stony road, burning with heat. It was a hot, toil­ some tramp and no one in the village offered to go. So' the postmaster thought he would send Dorsey just to see how it would work. The letter was written and tied around the dog's neck, his bead pointed up the Bismarck road, and he was told to "git out fur Bismarck." He started, ran a few rods, and stopped. But a shower of stones started hi|n a^gain, and that was the last seen of ? him in Calico that day. The next day he returned from Bis­ marck with an 'answering letter tied around his neck. He had been well treated at the mining camp, was well fed and petted on his return, and seemed very proud of his achievement. After this, other letters were sent in the same way, and by-and-by the min­ ers asked that all 'their mail bo sent up by the dog route. There were more than he could carry* so a little mail bag, with brass trimmings and the usual government lock, was purchased and fitted to Dorsev's back. Now, res­ idents of San Bernardino County have1 grown to look upon the dog as a regu­ lar institution, quite in the ordinary run of affairs. Dorsey knows when the stage that brings the fnail is due, And on these oc­ casions he sticks closely to the Post- office. When the letters and papers have been sorted out, the postmaster says: "Dorsey, the mails are ready," and the dog stands soberly to have the bag strapped on. Then, with a sharp bark of farewell, he trots over the hills on a little trail he has worn himself If he meets a stranger, he makes a detour to avoid him, and when other dogs try to be friendly and get up a little fight with soft gloves, so to speak, gravely declines and goes on his way. He will not run any risk of losing the mail. Arriving at Bismarck, he stops at six or seven of the principal houses in town, and standing at the front door, barks until some one comes out. Only a few known friends are permitted by him to open the bag. Then at night the miners give him a big supper, and the next day he starts back for his of­ fice at Calico with letters bound for the postoftice. Postoffice Inspector T. F. Tracy sent out by the government to inspect Cali­ fornia mail facilities, reports the Dor­ sey dog route the most faithful and prompt in the State.--Forist avid Stream. It Was a Pity. May is a little girl whose mother, after the usual way of women, says a million when she means a hundred, and May has fallen into the same habit. One day the mother was read­ ing to the daughter an article on ex­ travagance in language, and wound up by saving: "There, my child, I hope you will remember that." The kid reflected a minute and then very seriously said: "Mamma?" "Well," answered the mother, who had resumed her reading, "what is it, May ?" "Ain't it a great pity that your mam­ ma didn't read that to you when you were a little girl like I am?" Her mother went on with her read­ ing.--Merchant' Traveler, City Fathers with Numerous Daughters. A city ordinance of Cuthbert, Georgia, makes it obligatory for per­ sons to keep a ladder about their prem­ ises. There is probably no other city in the Union where the wants of elop­ ing lovers are so thoughtfully provided for.--Norrixtown Herald. THE FINGER HAILS. A Toll* How They Should lie Treated, for Beauty and NeatueM. A nice looking young lady with brown bangs and blue eyes sat in a pleasant Penn avenue parlor, holding the hand of a well-known young society man. Before her stood a colored boy in brass buttons, with a number of mys­ terious looking instrumentii. The lady was a New York manicure who re­ cently opened business in this city. When the young man's pink finger tips had been pared and polished, and his elegant presence removed, a reporter asked: "Do you have many gentlemen among you customers?" "Oh, yes. I have had about twenty ,in the few weeks I have been here, and fully a dozen of tliesa now come regu­ larly. A funny thing, though, is that they don't wish it known that they em­ ploy the services of a manicure. They seem to think that it is effeminate. I suppose it is because there has never been a manicure here before. In East­ ern cities we have almost as many gentlemen as ladies among our cus­ tomers, and nothing is thought of it?" "Do you find much work here?" "A great deaL I have only been here about five weeks, and I have nearly all I can do. My trade so far is almost en­ tirely from tlie East end, and I am told that I am the first manicure in Pitts­ burgh, and that the services of one has long been needed. I have twenty-five or thirty ladies who come to me regu­ larly once a week now." "Do the hands need that -much at­ tention from a manicure?" "Indeed they do. I prefer that my regular customers do nothing with their nails at all. Few people under­ stand how to cut their nails in the first place. A knife or scissors should never be used. T trim and shape the nail'with a small file, and then care­ fully smooth down and bevel the rough­ ened edges with emery board, which keeps them from breaking and trains them to a symmetrical growth. An­ other important point where people neglect their nails is in allowing the skin to grow out on the base of thenaiL This should be carefully pushed back with a blunt instrument at least once a a week. I soak the hands of my cus­ tomers in tepid water a few minutes before I do this, so as to soften the cuticule. This is nesessary, as other­ wise it is liable to break. It requires great care, as the base of the nail, which is very sensitive, may be bruised, or the delicate edge of the skin broken. Another place where care is needed is at the sides of the nail, where it leaves the fingers. Lack of attention to this either hardens the ends of the finger or produces the untidy and painful bang-nails which disfigure so many hands. In filing the nails the file should always be drawn from the finger and toward the end of the nail." "What are the hardest things to overcome in operating on hands that have been neglected?" "There are several things. Mothers sometimes make a praotice of cutting their children's nails almost square across, with a pair of scissors. That hardens the end of the finger and pro­ duces a misshapen nail. It can be overcome, however, In time. By filing the nails from the sides it can be nar­ rowed by degrees to that filbert shape, which is considered the height of beauty. The finger will still be blunt, but even that will be remedied to some extent. Then we have the people who bite their finger nails off close. They are hard customers to deal with. The nail is deformed and brittle, and care has to be taken in dealing with it. Manicures use a preparation to stop the biting and then correct the Other defects by degrees." "With whom do you have your best trade ?" "Well, here, so far, it ha sheen mostly with society ladies. Have bad very few customers from the working classes yet. Suppose that is because they have not yet learned that thefe is manicure in the city. In New York, however, we treated fully as many working girls, that is, those who did work, hard and wearing the hands, as any other. The hands of such persons must of necessity be hard to keep in or^er, but there is no one who appreciates the beauty of a nice hand and pretty nads more than they. That makes them good customers, too, for they appreciate how much you do for them. Do you know that there are several diseases of the finger nails ?" she continued. "Well, there are. One is called onychia jiarasitica, which is much to be dreaded. It acts upon the nails by thickening and drying them. They lose their polish an'd grow rough and brittle. With a powerful glass the litte parasites which cause the trouble can be seen growing in among' the component parts of the nail. The nail has a dirty brown color, streaked wjth lines of a darker color, and the nail is raised up aud thickened. The disease is rare, and can only be treated by a skillful physician." "The white spots on the nail, which we were told as children indicated gifts, are really a nail disease, result­ ing, I think, from slight diseases. Hang nails are where the nail adheres to the cutiole, and move more than anything else the use of the manicure's art. Hypertrophy often afflicts the nails, causing an excessive growth and a dull yellowish color, and often pro­ duces extreme pain from ingrowing nails and otheir irritation. This can be remedied by a skilled manioure, but cannot be cured. AN Omaha woman kindly consented to have her pioiure taken in a group with her three divorced husbands. Policeman's Philosophy, was a nice, clean, neatly- Fortu ne-Tellers. "There are more than two hundred persons who tell fortunes in this city," said a veteran police office. "Of course, only a few of them are professionals, but they will all tell fortunes for a consideration when they get an oppor­ tunity." "Any of them specially skilled?" "Oh. it is no question of skill, they are all 'skins.' We can't arrest them because their victims thoroughly be­ lieve their nonsense, are ready to swear by their predictions, and will shield them to any ext.?nt. Besides their operations take place in private houscx and are conducted without dis­ turbance to anybody. Nine-tenths of them are women, and so are ninety- nine hundredths of their patrons." "Much money spent on them?" "Yes some women spend almost 41s much on them as some men do on drinking." "L'o you know an/ who patronize them?" "Do I ?" returned the officer, laugh­ ing, "You ought to ask me if I know any woman wiio don't patronize them. There are a good many level-headed women in other respects, but tho.-ie who are not out and out believers in fortune-telling are few- and far be­ tween. How many do you know who don't have their fortune told as often as possible, either by professional or amateur seers? Some women, mind you, will swear they are not believers in prediction. They are not supersti­ tious, oh no, but catch them off guard and you will find there is always a re­ serve--'as a rule they don't believe in lortune-teliing, but'--and then they will go to swamp you with some won­ derful experiences. Some of these seers get rich, too; in fact most of them da Why, there are three living on the Heights renting fine houses and keeping carriages and liveried servants. I know them very w^ll. They are all men and pretend to wbrk by means of phrenology alone. Pooh! Talk of the enlightenment of the Nineteenth cen­ tury. Why, we would hold up our hands in holy horrov and astonish­ ment at statistics which would show that Athens in its prime contained a small army of second-sight frauds, yet look at them here in Brooklyn.- The truth of the matter is that people like to be gulled, and^the greatest humbug is the most successful."--Brooklyn Eagle. The German There _ f dress young fellow standing in front of a brown-stone mansion the other day when the German policeman came along. The young fellow was dressed in the height of the London fashion of a year ago, as near to the absolutely correct thing as an imitator of English fashions ever gets in this country. The two fell to talking. "Vat for are you growing dem leedle side board-t for?" the German police­ man asked; "drying to build a fence around your face to keep your goot looks from getting away?" "Ah," said the young fellow; "yaas; it's English, you know." "Und your* funny shoes und shkin- tight preeches und leedle diamond ring und shdrang-looking valking- shtick, is dot all English, you know?" "Aw, yaas; quite English, you know," said the young fellow. "Veil," the policeman said; "so long, my frent; good morning. I hat no use for you. If your poor fadder should make a bresent of you to me I vould not know vot to done mit you. You ain't bretty enough for a parlor orna­ ment and you are too large to draffel arount mit a sdring to a hand organ. Yen are guildy uf a sort uf indecent extiosure uf an empty skull, but I can'd arresd you for dot." "Oh, come off," said the young fel­ low ; "you are an old man and don't care about dress and style and all that sort of thing. If you were young and rich you'd do the English thing; I know you would, right up to the handle." "Pychimany hooky 1" said the Ger­ man policeman, growing strangely ex­ cited, "if I effer do vot you call der English ding it vill pe insite uf my coffin, afder I am dead und blanted. I might be seen arount alife, imidad- ing der Chinese or der nigger min- sdrels, but neffer der English. Vot had der English got for me to imidade? Chiminy Gristmas! is it. der glothes yich are pedder as ours? Can'd ve make as goot cloth und find chust as good daiiers to make it up? Oh, der sbort, eh ? It's a fine gundry for sborts, is it? Vhy, you miseraple chackanapes, vot sbort can England lead America at? Not any dot I effer heard uff. Dot leedle Nye Yorker, Myers, can run der leeks off der pesd runners in England; Capt. Pogardus Can Bhoot der eyes away from der pesd English shooters; Fitzgerald can valk more miles py sex dayB as all der Englishmen in En­ gland; der Buritan can sail all around der English boats, und so it goes. Heavy betting is all der sdyle in En­ gland, ain't it?" he' asked as he turned to go away. "Ah, yaas," said the young fellow; "all the fellers pet heavily in London, you know." "Goot," said.the German policeman, "go in und bet all yon got on Ungle Sam und dake in all der English money bossible. You von't lose voncd in fife year, betting effery day."--The Judge. A Bird's Savings Bank. In California the woodpecker, stores acorns away although he never eats them. He bores several holes, differ* ing slightly in size, at the fall of the year, invariably in a pine tree. Then he finds an acorn, which he adjusts to one of the holes prepared for its re­ ception. But he does not eat the acorn, for as a rule he is not It vegeta­ rian. His object in storing the acorns exhibits foresight and knowledge of results more akin to reason than to in­ stinct. The succeeding winter the acorn remains intact, but becoming saturated is predisposed to decay, when it is attacked by maggots who seem to delight in this special food. It is then that the woodpecker reaps the harvest his wisdom has provided, at a time when, the ground being cov­ ered with snow, he would experience a difficulty otherwise iu obtaining suita­ ble or palatable food. It is a subject of speculation why the redwood cedar or the sugar pine is invariably selected. It is not probable that the insect the wookpecker is BO fond of is found only on the outside of two trees; but true it is that in Calaveras,Mariposa and other districts of California, trees of this kind may be frequently seen covered all over their trunks with acorns, when there is not an oak tree within several miles.--The Examiner. Cleopntra's Portrait 011 Stone. Germany, now among the foremost of competitors for the artistic and archaeological treasures of the world, seems about to make a very interesting acquisition. The imperial Government oontemplates purchasing from the Em­ peror Hadrian's ville a picture of the tkne of Augustus, painted on stone, and said to be a portrait of Cleopatra. The price to be paid for it is (>00,000 marks--no excessive sum, it must be admitted,for so precious a possession as any authentic presentment of the "Ser­ pent of Old Nile." Of itB authenticity the purchasers have no doubt taken good care to satisfv themselves. Ger-, man prudence will have held counsel with German erudition before expend­ ing $30,000 on a work, the historic in­ terest of which is which is likely to be so far in excess of its artistic value.-- London Telegraph. _ Not Familiar with Them. Miss Clara--Can you call the names of the different stars and constella­ tions, Mr. Featlierly?" Featherly--"Oh, yes. There is the north star, and the evening way, and the Great Bear, and Little Dipper, and the Milky Way, and all the rest. Oh, yes." Miss Clara--"The Great Bear is called Ursa Major, is it not?" Featherly--"Oh, you mean do I know their botanical names ? I am PITH ashamed to confess York Times. I do not»"-- THE Osservetore Romano stated as the result of the estimates made by the various missioners that the total num­ ber of the members of the Roman Catholic Church throughout the world is between 275,000,000 and 300,000.000. A *OOH-OOLIO personage--the when it cries with the steuach-ache. TH* mule is full of tricks--just oh» •erve his sleight-of-foot performance!. BH-MAHDS must be an easy game, fojf ifs mostly done on cushions.--Stock* ton Maverick. A MAN with a noisy dog calls hiqt "Tree," because all the bark is on thf? outside.--Merchant Traveler. "THE man that helps a Chinese crinpy inal out of the mire," says Dobbins, "is a mathematician, because he is a mail extractor of queue-brute.*'-- Stockton Maverick. SONG of the man who has gone on several of his neighbors' notes, and 1# obliged to pay them: "Under thf Willows He's Laid with Scare.--Slock" ton Maverick. "I THBEW my love to him and it hath gone astray," sings Lillie Drake, in au exchange. Let Lillie be comforted b? the reflection that a woman never coula throw anything straight. THE custom of kissing babies is b^I" ing justly censured these days. It cowardly to kiss the poor little help­ less things. We'd rather take some­ body cf our size.--Dansville Breeze.. GOOD REASON FO* FEELING PBOUD. Oh! yea she is prond and stuck up, people" say, And scarcely will apeak to her chuniH, But th"n she has reason, she's taken tcMlay A prize for her chrysanthemums. --Boston Courier. MRS. F.-- "Isn't it outrageous? The very next day after Hardup failed* his wife came out in a brand-new bon­ net!" Fogg--"So? That accounts for it I was afraid that Hardup had been speculating in stocks."--Boston Tran­ script. "WHY, Johnny," exclaimed mamma, "aren't you ashamed of yourself, going, about with such a dirty face?" "No, I ain't," replied Johnny, with a conscious pride in the integrity of his intentions; "you'd like to have me taken for a dude, Wouldn't you?" W no U that man whom all rospeot-- Whom all treat so polite I They pass him with uplifted hats, And watch him out of sight. He's a base-ball pitcher who twirls the sphere (Not one of the "upper ten"), And he has a record of striking oat Twenty consecutive men. --Boston Budget. "I WAS afraid that the new rule that baseball players should not receive more than $2,000 salary Would have a depressing effect," remarked McSwill- igen. "What effect have you noticed ?" asked Podsnapp. "Why, the President of Yale College has resigned."--Pitts­ burgh Chronicle. AN article on "Chinese Editors" says "there is no humorous department in the Chinese newspaper on our exchange list right away. It is inferred that thu London comic weeklies are modelled on the plan of the Chinese journal, in respect to a humorous department.-- N-orriistoton Herald. k A CALIFORNIA blacksmith is danger­ ously ill with glanders, contracted while shoeing a horse. And a Penn­ sylvania woman is suffering from a sprained ankle, contracted while "shoe­ ing" a hen. There seems to be a fatality about this shoeing business." --Norristown Herald. SOMETHING new in Dakota: Citizen --"Will you take in the hanging to­ day?" Another citizen (with a yawn) --"No, I guess not. Who are the boys after this time?" First citizen--"The boys have nothing to do with this affair. It's a legal matter, the prisoner having been tried and sentenced by a regular Judge, the same as is done back in the effete East." Another citizen (with a display of interest)--"Is that so? Then I'll take it in as a matter of curiosity." New York Sun. THE FOREIGN ARTIST. I am a happy painter, although unknown to fame-- Cixrleton Von Dnsen Dante is my artistic noma My hair falls on my shoulders, t wear a large felt hat, Likewise a great loose collar, and purple plush . cravat. I paint the Khenish castlejin all its beauty grand, I pr.int old Afric' desort, with all its e as of Band. 1 paint the camel q'er whom the paim-treei lean, I paint the Turkish dancing girl with her tam­ bourine. I paint HmaU Chinese pictures on fans and dainty cup«. Such an Mandarin fanning himself with a dozen pups. Though all my works are foreign, ah, prithee, let me »ay, , I v > i!<,ver once been outside of Pamrapo, N. J. --Puk. Abuse of the Muscles of Baby-Eyes* The two muscles--a set for each eye --act in perfect correlation, and enablr the organ in an instant of time to covee an inlinite range of vision. No fins adjustment of the telescope, no system of lenses and prisms, can accomplish this feat in an instant of time. The utmost caution is therefore im­ peratively demanded of every person to whom is consigned the care of the \;oun? child from infancy to perhape the third year of life. It is during thiB time that damage to theipucular appa­ ratus of the eye may be done. The mother or nurse is eager to have Baby see everthing from the nursery-window, or from a carriage or car. How many tmul heads, languid eyes, and dis­ orderly tempers reBult from this mis< take! How often is loss of accommo­ dative power or enlarged pupil, 01 .'Toss-eye the consequence! Worms, "inward fits," sour stomach, flea-bites, and bad temper are some of the morbid and moral posers which the mothei and the family doctor ponder over. An indication of the delicate and un- developed muscular apparatus of the eveball within the first two months of life is found in the ease with which some infants look cross-eyed. It ia weli-known that in sleep the eyes ar* turned upwards under the brows, and inwards, and that a true crossed con­ dition of the optical axes oocurs during this state. An occasional temporary crossing o! the eyes of an infant above two months of age should be carefully investigated. The child should be handled lightly; it should not be played with too much; it ought to lie or roll on its back in prefer­ ence to sitting on the lap or in a chair. Any unequal size of the pupils should be carefully noted. It may be either the sign of some internal trouble or a simple local affection of the muscular tissue controlling the pupiL--Babtj« hood. They Were Even. Husband--"Here's a new wrinkle; ladies' silk stockings bave snakes on em." Wife--"Yes, I know. I have just bought a pair of that kind of hose." H.--"What, with snakes on 'em?" W.--"Yes." H.--"Then we're all right. I can drink as much as I please now." W.--"What do you mean ?" H.--"Well, you see, if yon* have Rnnkes on yonr stockings you can't find fault with me if I should happen to have 'em in my boots."--Boston Cour­ ier. '• I HAVE known a man who was so pious that when he went fishing on Sua*_ day, he always prayed to the Lord tor good luck.--Josh Billings.

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