Mn VAsmnrawMra mnk {ftyl, *• * » • ' % *•' m>4 in. tiki 8oap*j.i( i;'j _ a «omu full of ho|H f singing, all alone, at aBdMrtoMi a Savior for a friend- . d B« will kMp me to the j6feMtim6felaff>e&1ng along, -J' •'> ' t| had iMaxd the Kwni-aong, . *" And I ftfton noed to smile jfcgr - • fa tt-TC In sympathy than gnAtf- '•"* i Bnt I never urid a word )f • fh regard to what 1 heard, a: » , A* she sang about her frienifl a ^ - ; Who would keep her to the «n4 4,' J|ot In sorrow nor in glee v »>> forking ail day long was she, * " s As her children, thr<?e or foiBV •. ' Playeft around hsr on the f, t Jftut in monotones the sonfi » V Hhewai humming all day long, "With a Savior for a friend. Ho will keep me to the end.* »• ;vi a song I do not sin?, •> •' differ T Maroa bolieve a thfng ,*? | •v Of the stories that are told { V • >..« Of the m'raclM of cffl; ' k.W9*m' > ilut I know that her belief (Hf . ̂ ^ ; s the anodyne of gi-irf, • . . And wiil always be a friend £ ,*.>4 :• That will keep her to the end* ft; , Justa triflolonesom? one, 'wait as poor as poor conMbe; WtfM V Bnt her sp'rira always rose, * Like the bubbles in the clothM^ .•And, though widowed aud alone, ••Cheered her with the 111 notone Of a Savior and a lricnd Who will keep her to the end. Shave seen her rob and scrub n the washboard in the tub. While the baby sopped in audi, Kollfld and tttutbleu in the dada; was padtlling in tbe pools Vith old scissors stuck in spool*-- She still humming of her friend Who would keep her to the end. ;;<h |nman hopes and human creeds ave their root in human needs;. And I would not wish to atrip A From that washerwoman's lljp. Mv.y song that sho can sing. - .Any hops that songs can bring; ' For the woman has a friend Who will keep her to the end. •PM Press. k FATHER'S SURRENDER. , KT EMILY GERTRUDE. It was one of the most enchanting even ings in the month of May. The moon, if its radiant beams conld have penelrated the dense shadows of a row of trees that bordered the walk of one of the suburban residences of Philadel phia, would have discovered a young couple, a lady and gen leman, promenading slowly tip and down the walk, eugaged in a low bat earnest conversation. At length the young man exclaimed to his companion, in tones emphaticand earn est, "Dear Belle, I tell you now, as I have told you before, that I will wed no one bnt yon, even if my father disinherits me, as he threatens." "Dear Gerard," 6he replies, in a low tone, "you have my whole heart, but I cannot consent to marry yon in the face of the opposition of your parents." "Belle," he cried, vehemently, "you do cot love me Ss TloVe you, or yon would let no obstacle stand in the way of our happi ness." "God knows how truly I love you, dear: but I would mar your'happiness, rather than make it, were I to consent to your wishes." "Dear one." said the young man, "I do not doubt your love for me, but you have mistaken i'ieas, and I will convince yoa of your error some day." The promrnaders were at thr.t moment in a particularly dense shade, and a somewhat suspicious sound was wafted on the parsing breeze, which, in a spirit of maluv, stirred the thick br.inches alx>ve, and the man in the moon for one insiant g**ed down upon a familiar tableau. He merely closed one eye knowingly, smiled grimly, and de posited the secret with thousands of others equally as sweet. Gerard Brown had. -received all the ad vantages wealth could bestow. His pleas ing address, gonial disposition, nnd gobd looks made him a general favorite, and he was n welcome gnest in many households* At the time this story opens h° was in«bus- iness with his father, his trusted and trust-, "worthy manager. Upon taking Gerard into business with him, the old gentleman had suggested that it was about tiuie for him to marry and set tle down, intimating that a wife had been selected for him. At this time Gerard paid but little attention to the matter, as matri mony had not entered his thoughts. Shortly after this conversation took pi ice, h twever, Gerard met Belle Marlow, •and proceeded at once to fall madly and desperately in love with her. Miss Marlow was worthy of the admira tion of any man. Tall beyond the com mon height of women, but with 9 superbly magnificent ligure proportioned to her height, she w,is an imposing-looking crea ture. It is but little wonder she numbered tor admirers by the score. Bnt the calm of a serene nature had never been stirred until she met Gerard Brown, and then the whole wealth of a deep affection was soon given. Gerard was no laggard in love, and was soon in possession of the sweet assurance that he had found favor in Belle's eyes. Then came an interview with his father on the subject of matrimony. . Gerard began by informing him that he had been en meshed by the littl° god of love, and that his oonsent was only backing to make two souls happy. ; The old gentleman blandly inquired who the chosen one was, and upon being in formed flew into a terrible rage. "I have selected a wife for you, and you will marry Lina Gaynor, .or leove my roof," exclaimed the father, somewhat suppressing his passion. Lina Gaynor was the daughter of an old family friend, and the two had long since resolved that their children should marry. But Gerard had a crude notion that in a matrimonial venture the higfc contracting parties should have some voice. He so in formed his father, but that enly made matters worse, and the choleric old gentle man turned fairly purple with rage. "You young ingrate," ne cried. "My word and honor are given to my f 1 iend that Jon will marry his daughter, and marry fer you will, or you are no longer son of mine." "But, father. I do not love Lina, and I do love Mifs Marlow," said Gerard, quietly. "LOT;? Bab! what do you know about love? Miss Marlow only loves your expec tations, and tbey will suddenly vanish if you do not conform to my wishes." "Father, you slander Belle. She is poor, I kndw, but she loves me for myself alone, ana 1 will never give her up!" And the determined face of the young man olearly indicated that he was in earu- • • eat. "Then you leave my hous\ and never darken ray doprs again," excitedly cried the irate old man. "Yon can ma'rv your Mi s Marlow, with her doll face, if she will con sent to marry a poor man. Ah, Gerard." cooling dowu somewhat, "think of what you relinquish by this foolish dream of love! Now, there is Lina. wh'> is well- voiced. industrious, nnd worth a dozen Miss Mar ows. Why enn't yon net like a sensi ble man <ind marry hei V" "Well, fa lfer." said Gerard. "I do not love Linn, and I do love Bi lle, and I cannot marry the former when I adore the latter. If you desire to consult my happiness \*u will--" "There, thit will do!" harshly inter rupted the father. "You can prepare to Oarrv out my wishes, or leave my house." "i!io be it; the latter is my choice," said Gerard, as he turned and left the room. (ieratfl at opoe informed Belle of this stormy interview. With her promise that *he' would ever be true to him, he left town at once, and the next heard of him by any save Belle was that he was in Colorado. Business in the interest of his employers called h>m East in the autumn of the same yaar. He there met and had a tender in- wjth Belle. «$•, my qoeen, why will you be so ~ 1 love you so dearly that nothing w k - Hi* 'I ' -4 !#*»•- •* * • i * In the world conld separate nsif yoa would consent to accede to my wishes." "I am not more cruel to yo* than to my self, dear," she said, with a little sob in her voice. "But I cannot consent to cause a lasting estrangement between yourself and parents. I should never be happy if I did, nor would you." "The estrangement cannot be more com plete than it is now," said Gerard, a little Ditterlv. "If yon loved me, you would not let that stand in the way," he added, with the unreasonableness of a disappointed man. "But I do love you, as you know. And perhaps your father would forgive you should you give me up." ' Not unless I married Lina Gaynor, and that I will never do." "Let us not discuss the matter further, dear; it pains me," said Belle. "Perhaps it is as father said, that yon would throw me over as soon as you found that I was without expectations^" cruelly said the young man. Belle burst into tears and cried as though her heart would break. "Gerard, I did not think you could be so •cruel aud unjust to me," she said between her Bobs. It was a sad parting for both, but the young man was hopeful that all would coiqe out all right, and his hopefulness cheered tbe drooping spirits of Belle. But when the month of May had come again, a little rilt appeared in the cloud that obscured tbe 'lovers, horizon. One day Gerard was surprised to receive a letter from his father, written in a far friendlier spirit than he could have antici pated. The son replied in (he same tone. And the rift grew larger, and finally the ^un burst forth in all its glory. Mr. Brown had sorely missed his son, nnd finally relented so far as to write to him to come home, and marry to please himself, or, as he rather ungraciously put it, "Come home, dear boy, and you may marry a mer maid, if you like." Then there was hurrying to and fro, and hasty preparations, and Gerard was soon speeding-towards his home, and to the girl he loved better than all else. He told his father, when he arrived at home and received a warm welcoma from the old man, that he did not wish to marry a mermaid, but he did desire to marry the sweetest girl in Germantown. And it was not long ere wedding bells raiig out for the nuptials of as handsome and happy a pair of lovers as the sun ever shone on. Hints About Steam Boilers. "There ate many things," said the manager of a successful boiler-making company in New York to a Mail mui E.rjirexs reporter, "about a perfect steam boiler which the average person does not know. Of course, it is not ex pected that he should. A boiler, to be perfect, has to be simple in construc tion, and it should have a constant and thorough circulation of water so as to maintain all parts at one temperature. Is should be provided with a mud-drum to receive all the impurities deposited from the water, in a place removed from the action of the fire. It should be -supplied with a combustion chamber so arranged that the combustion of the gases commenced in the furnace may be completed before they escape to the cliimney. All parts should be readily accessible for cleaning and re pairs, because safety and economy de pend upon it. The heating surface should be arranged as nearly as possi ble at right angles to the currents of heated gases and so break up the cur rents as to extract the entire available heat therefrom. The boiler should have a largo water surface for the disengage ment of the steam from* the water to prevent foaming. "Besides these it should have large aud free passages between the different sections to equalize the water line and pressure in all. It should have a steam and water capacity sufficient to prevent sudden fluctuation in pressure Qn water level, and have no joints exposed to the direct action of the fire. - There ought to be a great excess of strength over any regular strain. The water space should be divided into sections, so that if any section gave out no general ex plosion could o -cur, and the destructive effects would be confined to the simple escape of the contents. It should be provided with the very best gauges, safety-valves, and other fixtures. According to good authority, explos ions are the effect of weakening of the iron bv strains due to unequal expan sion caused by excessive heating of dif ferent portions of the boiler. Fre quently they are caused by corrosion from long use or improper setting. If steam boilers are properly proportioned and constructed they will, when new, be safe against considerably more pres sure than the safety-valve is set to; but against the danger resulting from un- equaled expansion ordinary boilers have no protection, a fact not properly ap preciated by either engineers or toe public." <4Coburgers.w A naval officer, in speaking of an associate, said: "He is a, good fellow, but he is a Coburger." When asked to explain the term, he replied: "There is a certain class of men in the navy who have always held soft berths, and whom it seems impossible to dislodge. They are official favorites, and we call them 'Coburgers.' There are scores of them in the Navy Department here. I know of one who has attained the rank of full commander, and whose boast is that 'lie never stood a watch.' He was graduated from the naval academy near the close of the war, and promotion was actually so rapid that his lx>ast is the truth. He has been floating around Washington ever since I can remember, and will probably be here when I am gone. There is a choice assortment of soft things in connection with the Judge Advocate General's bureau; Judge Advocate General Reraey himself has a pretty easy time of it. He is only a captain in the Marine Corps, but his total sea duty is very small. He has been so long in Washington that people have almost forgotten his real rank. I knew of another case which is even worse. A certain officer, now stationed at the League-Island Navy Yard, hasn't been more than twenty-four hours' ride from Washington for the last sixteen years. The Navy Department liere is full of just such people. How do they manage itV Petticoat influence, lean mention live women in this town who can keep me here until I am a rear ad miral if they only said the word. If Secretary Whitney wants to reform, with a great big 11, let hini look over the st a s rvice of the men about him, and he sl« n't want to overlook Commo dore Walker's record, either."--Toic'e, in Los ton Traveller. THE of VsjrttMw Its Aatlqaltjr and Origin. There is little doubt that the onion is the oldest vegetable known to man kind. 1?he native plant, the allum eeps, the parent of all cultivated onions, is not a native of this country. Cortez, when relating incidents of his brilliant conquests in Mexico, is reported by Humboldt to liave Raid that he saw onions in the market place of the ancient Tenoehtitian, and that tbe Mexi cans called these onions xonacatl. But careful inquiry shows that the name xonacatl does not apply to our culti vated species allium. In the seventeenth century only ono single allium was re ported from Jamaica, and that was our species; and it was in the garden with the other vegetables from Europe. Aeosta, in his "Natural History of the Indies," says expressly that the onions of Porn were brought from Europe. To Europe, then, we must go on the track of the first onion. Any European will say that onions have always been cultivate*! there. Shakespearo mentions the onion. I11 his "Midsummer Night's Dream," Bot tom, a weaver, giving final directions to Quince, the carpenter. Flnte, the bel lows mender. Snout, the tinker, and Starveling, the tailor--all humble folks, who are about to present a play before the duke and his party, after telling them to go home,, and to attend to this, that and the other,says: "And most dear actors, eat no onions, nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath; and I do not doubt but to hear them say it is a sweet comedy." When Heleva, at tho close of "All's Well That Ends Well, " finds at the same time her husband and her mother, the old Lord Laten exclaims: •ItoMt grace Mid beauty; personalities. Still some ofl^^^Vfairest daughter* have amtmni^^MRa. One gently clasps one palm in the other whenever talking animatedly; another clasps her hands Softly. Several have a habit oi drawing their handkerchiefs through tlier hands, and others draw their fin ger rings off and on. Many speak vvitl their heads a little on one side--a dainty, bird-like habit, and very flatter ing to their companions. One or two always sit bolt upright when speaking, and lean back in their chairs to listen. Many ladies prefix each remark with "Well!" and then go on steadily until a break--then they say " Well!" aud be gin again; and most boys address everv one indiscriminately as "Say! You!" Sometimes these little habits ave amusing, sometimes becoming, some times ropulsive, but always interesting. --Poughkeepaie Courier. "Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon." In the introduction to the "Taming of the Shiew," the lord, sending instruc tions to his page to enact the part of wife to the drunkard whom they are about to befool, says: 'Bid him shed tears, And if the boy have not a woman's gift. To rain a shower of commanded tears, An onion will do well (or such a shift," Shall we find our first onion in En gland? No, its very name tells us that it is no native. Onion is merely the English way of pronouncing the French oignon, and by the French, at some time or other, the onion pulp was brought into England. Chaucer, writ ing five hundred years ago, mentions the onion as a well-known domestic vegetable. Another three* hundred years takes us back to the Norman Conquest, and I think we may take an other two hundred and say that a thou sand years ago the onion was making its way into England. A thousand years sweeps away the history of England, and leaves a small island; torn with the strife of its recent Saxon conquerors and harassed with her pirates and almost unknown to the nations of the Conti nent. Another thousand years and Britain is an island lying far away from civilization. Two thousand years takes us back to the border land between ancient and modern history. Another thousand and a few years more and we hear the groans of the Hebrews in Egypt as they drag the heavy stones for the massive forts of Komses and Pithom, or make their daily tale of bricks under the sharp gaze of guards who stand over them with rods. Then successful con spiracy is made, and the Hebrews under Moses and Aaron throw oft' the yoke of Pliaroh and defeat him on the shores of the Red Sea; and Ave hear the songs of triumph of those emancipated slaves as they take their first step to freedom. Unthought-of difficulties appear. The journey to the Land of Promise is not one long holiday of pleasure. Some present privations seem harder to bear than the late fearful slavery, and, prais ing the good old times, they revile Moses and ask him, bitterly, "Who shall give us flesh to eat ? We rememl>er the fish wliich we did eat in Egypt freely, the cucumbers and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions and garlic." And these onions whose flavor could be better remembered than the hardships of tyranny. Can they IK? of the same species as our onions of to-day? Cer tainly they are. They are grown in Egypt to this day, and called now by the very name used for them by masters and slaves when Israel was there in bondage. Seven thousand years have passed since the building of the first pyramid. Yet even then Egypt was an old coun try ; its people civilized. Ten thousand years ago the onion was brought into Egypt, and from where? It was brought from India. History can tell us no more. The sacred writings of the Hindoos and the oldest records of the Chinese mention the onion as a culti vated plant, but always cultivated. If we would find our first onion, we must leave history and try some other line of inquiry. We join" the botanists and continue our search, and we find our selves climbing the mountains of Afghanistan and Beloocliistan, and ex ploring the tablelands behind the Hlodu Kusli mountains. And there, in the birthplace of mankind, we find our onion--the allium ceprt--from which Rev. Sain Jones on the "Unruly Member." The tongue is "an unruly member," said St. James, "full of deadly poison." There is many a person who, if you will go to their homes and put your ear to their heart, you will hear the blood dripping, dripping. You will ask, "What did that?" and they will tell you, "An inhuman tongue stabbed me there." God pity the man that will take his tongue and stab a human character. The tongue is the cause of all the trouble in our homes. It is not what we do. It is what we say. A man unkind to his wife! I have known a man to be polite and kind to every man that cbmes into his store that day, just polite, and then go home and stcb his wife with mean ness. Brothers, haven't you seen cases like that? DitLvoii not see one just while you were nrushing your hair this evening ? How many times a good, painstaking wife has arranged all day to make home pleasant for her husband, and when he comes in she greets him with a kiss, and before he has been at home ten minutes he takes that tongue of his and stabs her to the heart. She goes up stairs and cries as if her heart would break. God pitv a woman who has got an old bear for a husband. Now, bless your soul, if I am going to be kind to any woman on earth it is my wife, because I sort of like her. I can't help it to save my soul. I feel a good deal like the Irishman who said: "Faith, may I never live to see my wife married again." Never let a word slip from you that will draw a drop of blood from your precious wife's heart. Many a man lias walked up and bent over his wife's lifeless frame, and as he saw the glow of life and beauty gone from her cheeks, and as he dropped a tear upon the pallid face of his wife, has said: "God for give me for every unkind word I have ever spoken to her, the best, the kind est wife that ever lived." That is my sort of religion. How unkind we are sometimes to our children. I was at a camp-meeting a year or so ago. Four or five of Us were standing around and a little 10-year-old black-eyed girl said something to her father,and the parent turned around and in the most impatient, ruthless way he took his tongue and hewed her literally almost to the ground. I looked around and said: "You inhuman brute, I woi^U not hew my child that way for all Tne world." You can almost crucify your child with one stroke of your tongue. Some of you not only chop your chil dren to pieces, but you would die before you would go and beg their pardon. I know what it is to look upon a sweet child that had its arms around mv face for the, last time. It is gone, but when it is gone I never want to go into my parlor and look upon my child and say: "O, how those i&r cold fingers point my memory back to the hasty words!" 1 believe, with Josh Billings, we have precepts enough to rnn four such worlds as tliLs. What we need now is a few good examples. You go home and wake j little Willie up, get him wide awake, and get him on your knees, and say: Willie, who is the best man in Cincin nati?" "Why, you, papa," he will an swer. "Willie, who in this world would you most like to be like?" "Why, you, papa." Poor little fellow, he ain't got much sense. The saddest thing a father ever said to me was this. I was a pastor then, and had preached on "Home Re ligion" : I have been a pastor now eight years of my life. He said to me about four weeks after I had preached that sermon; "Jones, I have studied my children for four weeks in all phases of their lives, and I.have reached a verdict." " What is the verdict?" He said: "After four weeks of study I found out my children haven't got a single fault that me or their mother, one of us, has not got. A direct copy of my wife and myself our children are." T*; The Incas of Old. X?o man can see Pern without won dering at the grandeur, the industry, and the intelligence of the Incas' Em pire. They had arts which the world has forgotten; knowledge which the world never knew; thrift which their conqueror^ could never imitate, and wealth which made them the prey of every adventurer of the sixteenth cen tury. Their temples and palaces were 1 n ,, built of hewn stone from quarries that na\e sprung all the onions grown all . „ . Y ,, , ov.vtw J?,io ™.i,i fil the Spaniards have not been able to discover, and the means by which they over this wide world. On the monuments of Egypt the onio.i is called batzel, the name it goes by in Egypt at the present day. Beef Tea. A writer tells of a debilitated patient who did not do at all on beef tea, but was easily restored to health on a diet of bean soup. The only remarkable thing about this is that the patient ever expected to derive strength and nour ishment from beef tea alone. Con sidering that we have upward of 100,000 doctors, and that a very large propor tion of them are fully agreed that beef tea is almost valueless, except as a stimulant, it is surprising that people continue to look upon it as a food. BKEV-TOBMERS--the coral worm. Habits of Home People. There is not an individual who has not some personal eccentricity--some peculiar mode of speaking, gesturing, standing, or walking, that is all his own. People speak of these habits as characteristics. Perhaps they are; yet it seems to us they are more the result of habit than of character. Dozens of persons respond to any trifling bit of information with, "Is that so?"--a re mark which seems to impeach the vera -ity of the previous speaker, but is in fact onlv an exclamation. One lady says "Really!" every time that di-syl- lal)le can by any means be made to do duty as an answer; and she is by no means fond of keeping still, either-- she loves to talk. Many elderly gen tlemen take off their glasses when talk ing or listening, some play with them, and others polish them with their hand kerchiefs. A well-known gentleman ) has a habit of laying down the law to his companions, and striking the fore finger of his right hand,into the palm of his left, every time he makes a point (or thinks he does). Another is accus tomed to Cratch his head gently with a lead pencil when interested in conver sation; another rubs liis nose. Many men chew the ends of their mustaches--- especially when angry; and many run their fingers through their luxuriant locks whenever they are excited--which has a pompadouring effect that is fre quently anything but becoming. One well-known gentleman invariably raises his eyebrows in conjunction with his hat. Women have fewer of these" pe culiarities than men--they do not care lifted blocks of granite weighing hun dreds of tons is a problem no aptiqua- rian has been able to solve. They knew how to harden copper until it liad an edge as keen and endur ing as the finest of modern steel; they made ornaments of gold and silver and cut jewels as skillfully as the lapidaries of to-day; and their fabrics of woolen and cotton are spun and woven as smoothly as modern looms can make. They surpassed modern civili zation in many things, and had a sys tem of government under which millions of people lived and lalx>red as a single family, with everything in common, knowing all arts but those of war, and worshiping a god whose at tributes were almost parallel to those of the Christian God. Hemmed in on one side by the im passable snows of the Andes, and on the other by a desert, lifted above tho rest, of a world, unknown to them, in spirit as well as in fact, as peaceful and calm as tfie Andean stafi», they estab lished a system of civilization in which for the first time since creation, the equal rights of every human being were recognized and observed. The great sea beating incessantly against their desolate coast was recogfiized by them as a symbol of the Infinite, the Omnip otence, whose force and majesty theif simple logic could not comprehend; while the sun, whose heat and li^ht made existence possible, was recog nized as the source of all good. Henoe these two elements, the sun and the ocean, were personified and were the objects of the Incas' worship.--Lima letter to Chicago Inter Ocean. HETSTBT WABD BEECHER and Robert __ O. Ingersoll have been elected membeu to be considered eccentric, and wa^b to ' of tho Ti&kteen Club in New York. People often wonder what would be the results of a great natal battle at the won"" present time, would many Afai be destroyed? Wotlld the loss of life be great ? Let us try to describe shortly a few of the probable features of a fight between two fleets oi modern ironclads. Although two hostile fleets might ap proach one another in some tactical formation, this could not be adhered to for any length of time, and the battle would soon become a series of independ ent duels between individual ships. This is at once apparent when we con sider that most if not all of the ships would have rams, and it would, there fore, be highly necessary for a captain to have perfect control over the move ments of liis ship, to prevent her being rammed by an enemy. At the outset of the action the torpedo boats would probably take a very active part, and nntil exterminated, which they certainly would be in time, would engage great attention and be effective in sinking a few ships. It may be safely concluded that every ship would be steaming fast during the action, this being necessary to avoid being rammed, to get into favorable position for discharging tor pedoes, and to elude the fire of an enemy. Heavy gun fire would, of course, be maintained from the com mencement of the action, and those ships whose engines got disabled from this cause would speedily be rammed; and at this point we consider that great loss of life would take place, for the reason that the boats of a ship, being always exposed to machine-gun fire, would at an early stage of jthe action be riddled and shattered with shot, and in the incredibly short time in which a ship sinks after being rammed it would be impossible for the crew to improvise other means to save themselves from drowning. No steps seem yet to have been taken by our admiralty with a view of providing for this contingency. It has been suggested that a hospital ship, bearing the Geneva cross, should accompany a fleet into action, to receive the wounded. We would make a further suggestion, namely, that this ship should be provided with fast-steaming boats, peculiarly marked to show their pacific nature, which should proceed to the assistance of the crew of the sinking ship; by this means numbers of the men might be saved, who would other wise certainly be drowned. It is not probable that the loss of life from gun fire would be large, as a great part of the crew of an ironclad would be under water, the rest being inside the armored portions of the ship. Few ships would be able to get into favorable positions for discharging Whitehead' torpedoes from their tubes. Even if they did so, the course of one of the machines is so erratic when discharged from a ship in motioji that it would in nearly every case miss its mark. The time for the use of Whiteheads would be from the? torpedo boats at the commencement of the fight. To sum up, it is the opinion of many naval men of authority that a modern naval battle would occupy only about half the time of a fight in the old Trafalgar days; that half the ships em ployed would be sunk, and that most of the remainder would be so battered as to be unfit for further service for months to come.--Cham ben? Journal. The Two Religions of Japan. Sliintoism, a religion of nature, was for hundreds of years the only religion of the Japanese. Its temples, as seen in pictures, were bnt shanties covered with grass. They had no stone or wooden idols. The mirror was an ob ject of great reverence, because, I sup pose, they could see themselves in it-, and they thought as much of themselves as of anything else in the world. Such persons still live, and aro confined to no special country. They deified the forces of nature. Raiden, the God of thunder, lived in the clouds, and beat his string of drums. Futen, the God of winds, is pictured with a large inflated bag on the back of his neck, both ends of which he firmly grasps. When he relaxes his grasp, the wind escapes, and there is a storm; and when he tightens his hold, a calm follows. The Seven Happy Gods in the pic tures are interesting company. Fukor ruku Jin, the God of long life, has a forehead so high that a barber to shave the top of his head must climb up on a ladder. It takes a good deal of brains to counteract diseases and keep people in health, so as to insure long life. Diakoku, the rice God. sits on a throne of rice bags and pets the rat, the very animal that destroys his rice; so like some men who love the sins which wreck their fortunes and souls. Hotei, the God of contentment, is very fat, and so slovenly that he is always unfit for company--a proof that the Japanese had a low idea of happiness. Bisliamon is the patron of fame and glory, and his pet animal is the tiger. Men who seek military fame and glory must cultivate tiger-like ferocity. Ebisu is the patron of daily food, and spends much of his time fishing, which he, lilto some terrestrials, greatly enjoys. He is noted for his patience which is proved by the fact that he can stand knee-deep in water for two hours waiting for a nibble. The only one of the seven who never lays aside his dignity is Toshi- toku, the patron of talents. His j>et animal is a spotted fawn, and he travels around a good deal for the purpose of rewarding boys and girls who stilly their lessons. He knows that talent cannot afford to dispense with work. Among them ia one woman, Betten by name. She is queen of the world tinder the sea, and lives in ocean caverns, and spends lfer time playing the flute and guitar. The snake, strange to say, is her pet animal, and the dragons are her servants. These seven jolly Gods meet once a year to hold a feast and arrange tho marriages for the coming year. They have a great many skeins of red and white silk, which are the threads of fate of those to be married. The wliite threads are the men, the red the women. At first they select the threads very carefully, so that good matches are made. By and by they get tired and lazy, huddle up their work and jumble the threads together carelessly. This is the reason there are so many unhappy marriages. A visit to some of our di vorce courts would convince a Japanese that these gods aro" a lazy, careless set in this climate.--E.rcUangv. IF thou art rich, then show the great- n-fw of thy fortune; or what is better, the greatness of thy soul in tho meek ness of thy conversation; condescend to men of low estate; support jthe dis tressed and patronize the neglected. 15e great, lmt let it be in considering riches as they are, as talepts committed to an earthen vessel. Thou art bnt t? i t- receiver, and to bo obliged and to b- vain too is bnt the old solecism of pri l> and Iwggary, which; though they often meet, yet ever make but an almurd so ciety.-- Sterne. No LESS than $1,500,001) is needod to 1 finish the Capitol at Albany. I eaaiMlaa^&at I am f» excem^fnSfiHiat I^have talrenhas, fancy, never done me much good. If I am a phrenologist to the extent Irthink I am, I feel justified in officially inform ing all the nations, tongues and kindreds of the earth that I am deficient in the organ of premonitiveness. I have an uncontrollable desire at table to take an car of new corn in both hands and gently insinuate about two-thirds of the middle of it into my mouth. There is a sort of ten-cent-straight flavor about corn eaten in that way that can never be found with a knife and fork; and be side, judging from what I have seen among cows, pigs and other bric-a-brac, it is the way of nature. According to my experience, a hungry man has no business with etiquette, it is the toothache of art and the mashed thumb of science. When a fellow has walked nine miles and carried a pair of twin babies to a picnic, only being able ttf rest by changing his two-fold off spring from one arm to the other dur- ing the entire journey, and after wait- ing five hours, finds himself leaning against a tree in the presence of a lot of baked hens and other good society, he does not ache for etiquette. What he wants is grub, and he does not yearn to go around by Robin Hood's barn to convey it from the table to, his mouth. When a leg starts for his moxith lie does not long to.have it call on all the folks along the road and inquire after their health. He wants it to get acquainted with his victuals without the formality of an introduction, and feels like telling it to come right in and make itself at hotae. I have seen times when knives and forks had a cold and unsympathetic look, and my heart shrank from associating with them. I have longed to seek out some cool, sequestered spot where rust doth not corrupt and while away an hour or so in sweet intercourse with na ture, fried, roasted* or baked, and where the eyes of an admiring populace would not be upon me. I am modest at meal time, and my retiring nature shrinks from coarse publicity when calves' liver and baked beans seduc tively beckon me--I might write "bacon me*" but I am afraid the point might not be observed in the mad struggle to get there. At such a moment, with a slice of bread buttered on both sides in one hand, _ and a fragment of deceased fowl in the other, with my mouth gladly dancing from one to the other, I feel that the world at large has no rights which I am bound to respect. If any son of hunger thinks I should use a fork a,t such a moment, his ideas are not likely to prevail unless he can prove, beyond all room for cavil, that having one will expedite business. After Moses had been in the wilder ness a long while--when he brought up at a farm-house and was given a plate of corn bread and 'possum---what wduld he have thought of the vile wretch that would look at him over his spectacles and then look at his fork in the same breath ? Moses was a very patient man, but I will bet a peck of green peas against the United States Treas ury that he would have given the old etiquettist a withering look sf neorn, and seizing the 'possum by its hand leg, reverently have exclaimed, "Come home!" and gone right on with the matinee. Spoons and kindred little fingers are all very nice, but a leg of mutton is more becoming in the eyes of a man who eats with some aim ana pur pose.--F. E. Huddle. The Fate of Andre. Chief Justice Noah Davis, of New York, expressed the following opinion of Andre's offense and his fate: "In no event or condition of the struggle was Washington unequal to its duties and demands. The treason of Arnold shook his soul like a tempest; but it never blanched nor swayed its heroic nature. The steps that followed showed the firmness of his justice despite the tenderness of his heart. It has been a sort of fashion with some of late to pity the fate of Andre in a way that seems to censure the conduct of Washington. To the spy a felon's death is the law of war; but the service of a spy may often l>e the most honorable self-devotion of a soldier, when it seeks by dangerous exposure to furnish information neces sary to the preservation or movement of an army. But Andre was no common spy. His service had no trait or tinge of honor* to a soldier. His previous ^correspondence with Arnold shows him to hav$~beg% a briber and corrupter. In going tSmeet Arnold he faced none of the dangers of a spy, for he went un der the protection of the wretch he had corrupted. Nor did he go to purchase the surrender of the post. "No, he went not only to buy treason with gold and place--which may be legitimate strategy in war--but to bribe ithe traitor to disclose the weakness and strength of his post, and to so arrahge its forces and impair its defenses that it should be carried by easy storm in spite of the bravery of its defenders, and with little or no danger to its assail ants. In other words, to yield his i»ost by selling his brave officers and men to a hopeless slaughter. In such an a»- sault the slaughter would be little less than assassination by the assailants and murder by the traitor. No one could justly reap honor in the affair but the brave victims who might die in the hopeless defense. The business of Andre was, therefore, dishonorable to a soldier, and scarce less detestable than ' the treason of Arnold. But Washing-, ton gave him an honorable trial by a council of his superiors in rank. His guilt was confessed, his conviction was just, and his fate deserves no pity. His memory shall not rise to dim (he fame of his judges." Confidences Over the Wire. First Talker (at telephone)--Hallo, who's this? Second Talker (at the other end)-- Sheridan. First Talker--How far away are yon? Second Talker--Just twenty miles. First Talker--Can't yon come a little closer? I want to tell you something confidentially.-- Exchange. SETH GREEN says that malformations frequently occur in hybridizing fish. The most common peculiarities are the possession of two heads and one tail. Young, fry with all sorts of curvatures of the backbone are found, so that in at tempting to swim they circle round and round. All of the deformed fish die as soon as the yolk-sack, which is attached to their bodies, is absorbed or nearly so, as they are unable to find food and die from starvation. A VERMONT man sold his wife for f6. Too cheap, did you say? Well, she didn't have any bonnet on.--Tan kers Statesman. FANNY KEMBLE once declared that ii required a walk of twenty miles a day to keep down the devil that possessed her. HOME men never get They draw the line at a A noxnp in need generally strikes yon for a q. A muxin, if arrested for _ _ milk on Sunday, can have the indict ment quashed by having an analysis of his milk made.--Maverick. FARMERS, to make money, should raise everything they consume, bnt they shpnld not consume everything they raise.--New Orleans Picayune. . To SHOW the force of habit: A bar ber married a woman worth half a mil lion, sold out his business, and now shaves notes.--California Maverick. "I'M. drop your acquaintance," re marked the big man, as he held one robber by the throat while he knocked down the other atn.^-Merchant Trav eler. » PROF. YOTTSG says the moon is petr£ fled, and it must be confessed that to a man who does not enjoy the confidence of his grocer it very often has a stony look about it.--Chicago Ledger. "THERE'S no sucli word as fail," said an old gentleman to his son whose busi ness was worrying him. "That's so, father," was the hopeful response. guess I'll make an assignment.-jfpt*- chant Traveler. "I DON'T think my religion will t>e any obstacle to our union," he urged; "I am afraid it will," she replied. "Papa is a prohibitionist, you know.*' --Ex. But her mother was a Home^ Ruler, and that settled it.--Norristown Herald. , :' THE "Fifty Millions Club" is an or- ganization of New York journalists. If a journalist must be worth $50,000,000 before he can become a member of the club, we fear we shall not be eligible for membership for a month or two, at1 least. Perhaps six months.--Norrin- town Herald. MOTHER (shouting upstairs)--" Jennie, are yon dressing for the party?" Daughter (Shouting down stairs)-- "Nome. I haven't begun yet." M.-- "Begin right away then or you'll be late. Come, hump yourself.*" D.-- "Hump myself?--Bridget, bring me ttp , my bustle.--Boston Courier. PERTINENT QUESTIONS. If a body meet a couple Crossing o'er the street, .. Need that couple cover all the Fags tones with their feet? Do they show the best of breedHjjt > And the bluest blood, . 7 i f When they crowed that lonely bodlr Off into the mud? fl If a couple meet a body. Would it mar their style. Should they take a single crossing. Going Indian file? --Oolwnbus Dispatch, SUNSHINE, SONG AND SADKE8S. The oriole sings And the sunshine flings Its gold through my window pane, And sweet perfume steals into my room From tho lilacs in the laao. The skies are clear ; In the school-yard near The children romp in glMj The earth ia bright In the glad sunlight. But what is it all to me? For, across the way, There's a din to-day That tortures my weary brain; The maiden fair. With golden hair, Is at the piano again. --Boston Courier. A TOUCHING- instance of insect in stinct has just been sent to us. The writer says: "I found a cockroach struggling in a bowl of water. I took half a peanut shell for a boat. I put him into it and gave him two wooden toothpicks for oars and left him. The next morning I visited him and he had put a piece of white cotton thread on one of the toothpicks and set the tooth pick on an end as a signal of distress. He had a hair on the other toothpick,' and there that cockroach sat a-fishing. The cockroach, exhausted, had fallen asleep. The sight melted me to tears. I had never to chejv leather to get a soul; I was born with one. I took that cockroach out, gave him a spoonful of gruel and left. That animal never for got my kindness, and now my house is chock full of cockroaches."--The Champion Liar. The Useful Father* So, as there was nobody left bnt my father and mother, you see for yourself I had no chance. There was one great advantage in dealing with them, I knew them so thoroughly. One naturally feels a certain delicacy in handling, from a purely artistic point of view, per- - sons who have been so near him. One'd mother, for instance. Suppose some of her little ways were so peculiar that the accurate delineation of them would fur nish amusement to grpat numbers of readers; it would not be without hesita tion that a writer of delicate sensibility • would draw her portrait, with §g^its whimsicalities, so plainly that $ would; be generally recognized. One's father is generally of tougher fiber than one's mother, and one would not feel the same scruples, perhaps, in rising him professionally as material in a novel; still, while yon are employing him as bait--you see I am honest and plain- spoken, for your characters are baits to catch readers with--I would follow kind Izaak Walton's humane counsel about the frog you are fastening to your fish hook; fix artistically, as he directs, but in so doing use him as though yon loved him.-- Oliver Wendell Holmes. A Popular SoYeltst. "What is your business?" a passenger on a railway train asked of a chance acquaintance. "I am a writer of popular novels." " What is your name ?" "Nick Smith." "Well, I don't believe I read any of your novels. But perhaps yon employ a nom de plume." "Yes." "What is your pen name?" "I change it very frequently." "* , "Why SO'JJ" ^ "Weil, yon see, I am employed tgrft publishing house to continue the works of men who die in the zenith of their fame. I have finished 'Hugh Conway,' and I am now waiting for Wilkie Col lins to die."--Arlcansaw Truveler. i * The Rarity of (Jean Hands. Small bovs who have suffered from the prejudice which exists against dirty paws will find some consolation in the discovery recently made by an eminent physician that there is no such thing as the possibility of clean hands on any body. Even the hands of grown-up people cannot be made scientifically clean with the use of any amount of soap and water and carbolic acid. A preparation called sterilized gelatine, on being touched by the fingers thus washed, immediately develops living organisms acquired from the fingers. Absolute cleanliness may, however, lie attained by washing the hands in a solu tion of bichloride of mercury or c(NWg ' sive sublin.ate.--Boston Herald. THERE are nineteen foreign-bom members in the present National Homo of Representatives. M?--.' sr,» *' v. -.*$ . 4jj