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m Bl/KAI. JOURNALIST. «»• VOWDKKPOI. DREAM, WHICH TKBEW HI INTO A rrr. n editor man sat <l>wn in hit R(« toilsome work to grind; ®b« furrow* deep of weighty car# Hi# missive brow bad lilted: ? Ohcnmhcr'd with plebeian hair ' Was the surface of his mind. *nw week's edition he struck oil In full tile <!n y lief ore ; That same old hand-press he had Of rear* a rounded score, IM he hoped the lever he shouMi fpH For just at many more. • * Hs wroto the usual weekly squib v> About the rival ahaet, ' Which comments, in th> lapse of JHUM, Ha •i never lost their heat; He penned a polished leader, to<v ^ About the pr.ee of wheat. ltd then he wrote a local not% . Wherein he said he could Appreciate the compliment It some subscriber tfood Paid Tip whatever sum he owed In coal or kindling-wood. A toiler was the editor man, , Who worked him hard each daf, j A* hard as any mortal can, . 'for quite uncertain pay : i Aad gray and grizzled had he go! -• ^within the troublous fray. And so he blithely pepped along In quite a happy state. And humming to himself a song About the freaks of fat1*; And then, he blistered both hia hand! Tw cutting patent plate. i sat him in bis offlce-shalc--. r-- ij-sSr To, strangely, rest awhile; Hit mind was never free from care As was his soul from guile; He had a prievous load to bear, . But still found time to smile. there at last he fell asleep, ~ • Although 'twas not yet night. And evorything about the room It seemed to taka its flight; The pen, the paste-pot, and the s' They vanished out of sight. He dreamed of wild, unearthly things, Qf Sand, and sea, and air; His soaring fancy visions brought ®xceeding rich and rare. And in his tired brain wjre wrought Phantasms wondrous fair.- Then in his dream aga'n he saw His room, now all in light. The cobwebs in tiie eonit rs gone. The dusty windows bright. The littered desk all sti tightened out-- It was a pretty sight I He saw the office towel clew And eke its whit • as Bnow; Subscriptions always coming fast-- The paper never slow ; He saw a brand new font of type-- It was a dream, you know. He saw an old subscriber come, And beard him say: "Good-day! I thought that you might need some fundi . And so I've como to pay Ajrear's subscription in advance," ID quite a cordial way. This was too much for the editor mai For all his pluck and grit, He shrieked iu nameless terror, far Be couldn't credit it; No matter that the payment was A vision, every bit, He leaped him high into the air, . And tumbled iu a fit! --TUrBits. J 3AT SUES AND SEVENS." :IIXAB OLD PHIL:--In your last letter yon kindly warned me against the charms of "maidens fair" at this place. But, my boy, your warning came too late, for al­ ready had I met my fate. Yon would scarcely know yotur quiet, cool, philo­ sophical Lin of yore, so have I changed. I now whistle snatches of the "Bohemian Girl" and "Maritana," her favorite operas, all day long. Now, of course, you want to know who Bhe is, and where she is. and. of course, I'll enlighten you. First, she is a young lady rarely beautiful, of a blonde lype. and as noble and good as fair and charming. Second, she lives three miles from here on a large farm, with an aged uncle and aunt, who idolize her; indeed, few could help so doing, and, I assure yon, I am no excep­ tion. We are studying French together. Now. Phil, you are well aware of the fact that I am somewhat rusty in French;but she seems so anxious to learn that I study up ahead, and the zeal with which we decline aimer, the verb "to love," is astonishing. She is very bright, and 1 often think what a pity she cannot get away from the farm; she'd be an immense success in society, for her manners are rarely charming. In fact, Phil, there sometimes crosses my mind an uneasy feeling that perhaps she has seen more of the world than I imagine, and then comes the eheerful thought, what if lam too late in the field? There, Phil! I've gone and confessed. Yes, I'm in love with Miss Jenny, and, I assure yon, it's serious this time. Must close now, as my hand, ink, paper, and cigar are giving out Write soon and wish suocess to Your old chum, LIN HARDING. P. S.--By the way, Miss Kitty Noel is here. You remember we struck up a flir­ tation last summer. But I've been so en­ grossed with Miss Jenny that I've scarcely seen Miss Noel. Well, au reroir! Jenny Douglas to Bessie Arnold. MY DEAR BESSIE:--Yours of the 4th inat came to hand safe and sound, and, as usual, I enjoyed it immensely. You ask me for the "latest." Oh, Bessie, for the last three weeks I have been nearly crazv to see you and give you a full account o"f events that have transpired lately. But as that cannot be, I shall havejo content my­ self with writing. Well, f^begin, it hap­ pened in this wise: The day after Christ­ mas Day, a gallant knight rode up to our cottage, Uncle Ben answered his knock, and on being informed that the rustic bridge had been rendered unsafe by the rains, invited him in until he could see what had better be done. Thus we met. As fate would have it, it rained so severely that he was compelled to remain till morn- ing. And then he had to wait till evening, when the bridge would be repaired, and during that time we became quite friendly. Our guest's name is Lm Harding, and on a Tery short acquaintance indeed he took it for granted that I was a perfect ignoramus, had never been away from home, and was entirely ignorant of the conventionalities of society. Discovering this fact, a spirit of impishneBs took possession of my wicked soul, and I forthwith assumed the role of a demure country maiden. He gave me his foil history, informed me thai Tennyson was his favorite poet, and asked me if I did not admire him (Tennyson). Immediately a (treat wave of bashfulness "swept o'er my sinking soul," and I shyly acquiesced .but •with such a want of intelligence that my questioner, out of pity for my ignorance, changed the topic of conversation. But at times, Bessie, I put on mv most worldly manner, and I have the satisfaction of seeing that I puzzle him greatly. Yet the funniest of all is to see us studying French. I can see your eyes open spasmod­ ically at this startling intelligence, hence IU hasten to explain. When he took his departure, my knight begged leave to pay his reBpects to me in the near future. Mag­ nanimously I granted his request, and three days after he availed himself of my per­ mission. After two or three visits, French became the topic of conversation. I de­ murely murmured that I had always desired to become a French scholar, and'presently he Baid, "Let,'s study it together. I'm rustv now, but I can help you & little, I have no doubt." Inwardly shaking with laughter, I ac­ cepted. I did not tell him I had studied the language for four long, weary years; but sometimes I nearly "let the cat out of' the bag." Lin doesn't suspect, however; and the French hour is so amusing that I hate to enlighten him. From the state of things at present, don't be surprised if you are soon called to keep your promise and be first bridesmaid to your loving friend, _ • JENNY." P. S.--Archie Noel and I have parted. t; It is a decided case of "We never speak as pass by." JEN. - Lin Harding to Phil Brown. DEAR PHIL:--Thanks for your flattering Interest in my little love affair. Miss Jenny •non bewitching than ever, and, the other day, when she coolly Informed me that she had resided in Pans for IfcxiM year^my feelings can be bettor imagined thaft de- scribed. However, 1 Intend to know my fate soon. If favorable, be prepared to congiatulate me and be best man. Yon know yon promised to do the one and be i the other. Well, excuse brevity and egotism. With regard to yourself, I am Your desperate "chum," LIN. P. S.--Tha other day, as Miss Jenny and I were out driving, we met Miss Kitty and her brother Archie. Kitty bowed to Miss Jenny and myself. I was a bit surprised, for I was unaware they were acquainted. I noticed that Archie blushed painfully, and Jenny looked embarrassed. Nothing was said, however, and the mystery still remains. Kitty is more beautifuithan ever. In fact, were it not Cor Jenny, I should love Kitty. Bye-bye. LIN. ' Jenny Douglas to Bessie Arnold. DEAREST BTSSIE:--After I read your edifying lecture on flirting, remorse gnawed at my conscience. But. Bessie, I really and truly fancied I cared for him; yet when the time came for an answer in the affirma­ tive to the important question, I suddenly became painfully aware of the fact that I did not. Then I had to drop the role of "a rustic maiden, sweet and fair," and confess all. Oh. Bessie, that was the worst thing; it was simply horrifying. So it is all over with us how and for ever. Then, as troubles never come singly. I find out too late that I care for Archie, but, alas! he is engaged to Mabel Diusmoore. Archie's sister, Kitty, is here. I have had an introduction. She is lovely, very much like her brother. Last week Mr. Harding and I were out driving, and we met them. Lin looked strangely embarrassed: so did Kitty. I felt like a goose--didn't have time to look at Archie, though I have a dim consciousness of his bowing. I was not aware that Lin knew Kitty, and though frantic to hear when and where he met her, refrained from asking. I aril feeling wofully blue, so, dearest* write soon and console Your broken-hearted % JENNY. Lin Harding to Phil Brown. DEAR PHIL:--Congratulate me, old fel­ low! In my last letter I told you to pre­ pare for mv wedding soon. I now have the pleasure of informing you that the happy affair will take place the 20th of next month, and on the "2'2d IUV wife and I 'don't that sound queer?) will be off to France. Love makes a fellow poetical, So my bachelor days are nearly over, and I shall 6oon be an obedient, docile, inanimate- looking individual, similar to the thousands of others whom we see meekly trudging after their better two-thirds. Make ready to be "best man" to Your happy chum, LIN. P. R.--The unfortunate lady is Miss KittyJfoel. Jenny Douglas to Bessie Arnold. " DEAREST BESSIE:--I have the most as­ tonishing piece of news to tell you. I am to be married on the 20th of next month, so, my dear, hurry up and prepare your bridesmaid costume for the occasion. Yes, Archie and I have become reconciled. He never was engaged to Mabel Dinsmoore. We leave for Home directly after the cere­ mony. Archie is perfectly happy, and so am I. Must close now you soon, I am Your perfectly delighted JENNY. P. S.--Dear me! I forgot to tell you that it will be a double affair. Kitty No.-l and--can't you guess?--why. Lin Harding, of course--are to be married at the same time. Archie says they were engaged once before. Yours, JENNY. Hoping to hear from FV f': • Where the Pens Go. "It wasn't three days ago that I put three penholders and three blotting pads on this desk, and not one is to be found now." It was a post office official, and he referred to the writing-desk in the corridor. "What became of 'em?" asked the reporter. "Stolen." "You don't mean to say that we have people mean enough to steal a half-penny blot­ ting-pad?" "But I do. I see a dozen cases of it a week." "Who are the thieves?" "Women, mostly. And when it isn't a woman it's a business man. Now, I'm going to stock up the desk again, and you hang around here for awhile and see what you can see." Three penholders, each supplied with a new pen, and three fresh pads of blot­ ting paper were laid out, and the watcher took his seat on the window. In about five minutes a young man with a brisk air rushed up to the desk, di­ rected a postal card, and knocked one of the penholders off on the floor as he rushed off. The second comer was also a man, and he picked up the pen, directed a letter with it, gave a quick glance around him and pocketed one of the blotters. The third was a woman, who put on her glasses, wrote a postal, and coolly pocketed a penholder. Then a boy lounged up and stole another; and between two business men who used the other pen the second blotter was pocketed. This left only one pen­ holder and one blotter. After seven or eight people had used them, a woman with widow's weeds on directed a mourning envelope, stamped it and rolled the penholder up in the pad and pocketed both, regardless of who might be watching. She was not yet out of the building when a man rushed up to the desk, found nothing to write with, and pounded the walnut with his fist and growled out, "I'll be hanged if I wouldn't like to twist that postmaster's neck! This shows how little care a public official has for the convenience of the public!"--Detroit Free Press. She Clasped. "I want to ask your advice about a novel I am writing," she confidentially remarked to a Woodward avenue book­ seller. "I shall be happy to give it." "The hero of my story is wounded by Indians and comes home with his arm in a sling." "That's good." "My herone meets him with great joy, and he claps her in his arms." "Perfectly proper. I'd do it myself." "Yes, but don't you see that one of his arms is in a sling? How could he clasp?" "That's so. And yet * he most come home wounded." "He must." "And she must be clasped?" "She ought to be." "Yes, that's so, but you must look out for the critics. How would it do to have her clasp him?" "Wouldn't it look immodest ?" "Not under the circumstances, and you can add a foot-note that the joy of seeing him carried her off her balance for a moment. Yes, let her clasp and take the consequences. If you get the right kind of covers on a book you needn't care much about what is in­ side." "Very well, my herone shall clasp; I thank you; good day."--Detroit Free Press. How to Punish Children. "When I punish one of my children I do so with the object of touching his understanding," remarked a man in speaking to a Sunday school. "My pa don't," shouted a little boy in the infant class, "He whales me wherever he can get a " C-ali-- fomia Maverick. HORACE flSBKLBT. AM OHMIIOB 'IITIMB the Great Edtt«r VM Taken for a Tramp. The first time I ever met Horace Greeley was on the 17th day of May, 1849. The National Division of the Sons of Temperance that year met in Cincinnati. The committee of arrange­ ments appointed at the session of the previous year at Baltimore, to prepare for the meeting at Cincinnati, de­ termined to have a public address and a street parade of the order in full re­ galia. That committee had selected Horace Greeley to deliver the annual public address. He was to arrive at Cincinnati the second day of the session. The National Division appointed a com­ mittee of three to proceed to the sta­ tion of the Little Miami llailroad (then way above the city) with a coach, to conduct Mr. Greeley to the Dennison Honse. That committee consisted of J. M. Forbes, of Ohio, C. F. Clarkson, of Indiana, and, I believe, Nathaniel Wil­ son, of Maine. Neither of the commit­ tee had ever seen Mr. Greeley, but they proceeded to the railroad, arriving there before the train, and stationed themselves at the various points s'6 as to be certain of discovering the dis­ tinguished guest. The train arrived. The number of passengers was few and fts they came out from the car (as there was only one) were carefully inspected. There was evidently no Greeley aboard. The conductor was soon interviewed. He did not know of any such character on his train. A merchant of Cincinnati was on the train with his family, who was well known by Mr. Forbes, one of the committee. He was interviewed. He said it was not possible that Mr. Greeley came on the train, as he had talked to all but one or two persons, who, from their dress and manners, did not appear to seek the sociability of any one. 0 • The committee retirt irom the car, but one of them discovered on the rear platform a person whom he considered the brakeman. He was asked if he had heard of Mr. Greeley on the train. It took some tijne to enlist his attention, as he was intently gazing towards Ken­ tucky, probably looking for slaves flee­ ing from bondage. When his attention was aroused he informed us that he supposed he was the man we were look­ ing for. He had on his old slouch hat and long drab overcoat, though then the weather was warm enough to be in shirt sleeves. As it afterwards was ascertained, each member of the com­ mittee had secret doubts of it being Greeley, but he was placed in the coach and the committee got in and drove for the city. Very little was said. Greeley sat intensely silent and touchy in his manner. The committee were contem­ plating their ridiculous position, if it should turn out the person they were taking to the hotel was a tramp and was stealing a ride. Each member of the committee, the more he thought and the more he' viewed the man in charge, the more he was convinced that the man was a fraud. Mr. Forbes had a place of business on Main street, which was passed some squares before we reached the Dennison House. He asked to be excused as we passed his place of business, as something required liis attention, and he slipped out. Crossing Fiftfy street the second mem­ ber of the cqmmittee asked to be ex­ cused, as he wanted to go to his hotel on Walnut street. So he left. The gentleman from Indiana was left alone with the doubtful man in charge, but determined to see the denouement. Arrived at the hotel, the man ste]*ped to the hotel register and wrote his name. That dispelled all doubts. No other man in America could write that signature. It was a revelation which relieved the writer hereof of all doubt or uncertainty. It was the veritable Greeley, and our eestaey over the discovery was so marked by our extravagant congratula­ tions over his arrival, that he noticed it and spoke of it afterwards. But when the committee came together they ac­ knowledged that they had purposely slipped away, so as not to be present at the hotel, when the tramp on getting out of the coach would probably blow on us. After that I knew Horace Greeley.--C. F. Clarkson, in Iowa State Register. An Irish Wit. j Curran was occasionally nonplussed by a witness. Inquiring his master's age from a horse-trainer's servant, he could get no satisfactory answer. "Come, come, friend," urged Curran, has he ftot lost his teeth?" "Do you think," retorted the servant, "that I know his age as he does his horses'-- by the mark of the mouth? " Once foiled by a Limerick banker with an iron leg, Curran in his address to the jury said that his leg was the softest part about him. In a debate in the House of Com­ mons he stated that he needed no aid from anyone, that he was proud to be "the guardian of his own honor." "In­ deed," exclaimed Sir Boyle Roche, "I congratulate Mr. Curran on his holding a sinecure." Lord Clare was a determined enemy of Curran while he was at the bar. The Lord Chancellor ruined his practice at the chancery court, and his clients were always sufferers. Indeed, Curran stated that the losses in his professional in­ come from the animosity of Lord Clare amounted to no less than £30,000. The incidents in court in consequence of this disagreement were sometimes ludicrous. On one occasion when it was known that the advocate was about to make an elaborate argument in chancery, Lord Clare brought a Newfoundland dog on the bench with him, and paid, much more attention to the dog than to the barrister, and the fact was com­ mented on by the profession. At a material point in the argument the chancellor lost all decency, and turned aside to fondle thef dog. Curran stopped at once. "Go on, go on," said Clare. "Oh, I beg a thousand pardons, my lord," was the ready reply. "I really took it for granted your lordship was engaged in consultation." A witticism of Fitzgibbon, the only one recorded of him, is so good as to make one wish for more. Chief Baron Yelverton went over to London accompanied by Cur­ ran, Egan, and a Mr. Barrett, notori­ ous for his skill at cards. "He travels," said Fitzgibbon, "like a mountebank, with his monkey, his bear, and his sleight-of-hand man." This Egan was a great friend of Cur­ ran's, and held the office of chairman of Kilmainham. He was a man of huge size and massive build, as brawny and nearly as black as a coalporter. In an election for the borough of Tallagh, out­ side Dublin, Egan was an unsuccessful candidate. He appealed, and the mat­ ter came before a committee of 4he House of Commons. It was in the heat of a summer afternoon that Egan was seen struggling through the crowd in a profuse perspiration, and mopping his face in a huge red handkerchief. "I am sorry for you," said Curran, "very sorry indeed." "Sorry! why so, Jack, why §o. 1 am perfectly at my ease." "Alas, w>* Egan, ft is evident*to every one that looks at you that you are losing tallow (Tallagh) fast." The friendship that existed between the two for ziuair years was interrupted by a quarrel so bitter that a duel was the consequence. They met on the Fifteen Acres, and on the ground Egan complained that the disparity in size gave his adversary an unfair advantage. "I might as well shoot at a midge as at him," said Egan, "and he may hit me as easily as a turf stack." "I'll tell you what, Mr. Egan," said Curran, pistol in hand, "I wish to take no advantage of you whatever. Let my size be chalked out upon your side, and every shot which goes outside of that mark may count for nothing." The contest after that was not a deadly one, and though they fired neither was hit, and a reconciliation followed.--Anon. Keep the Chinese Out. In China there are between 800,000,- 000 and 400,000,000 people, a quarter of whom would come under the head of la­ borers. Without doubt 25,000,000 labor­ ers could be spared without injury to tha industries of the country. Wages foi common laborers are so low that Amer ican§ cannot understand how tli? laborer lives. If he gets $2 a month more than the bare necessities of life he is content. Between this human hive and the sparsely settled Pacific coast lies a body of water b over which Chinese laborers can be transported at a cost of about $15 each. The steam­ ship company charges $25, but the busi­ ness is so profitable that they want all they can get of it. The laborer whose time is worth $2 per month in China can earn from $15 to $25 per month in California. In industries requiring a little skill he can readily earn from $6 to $8 and $10 per week. It will be seen that it is worth while for the Chinese laborer to pass from China to the Pacific coast. If the cost of the trip was $250 in place of $25 there would be money in the business of importing them for any company which has the machinery to control them. The United States has passed a law forbidding all Chinese laborers to land on American soil without proof that they were in this country at a certain date. There is $225 clear profit in vio­ lating this law. The Chinese companies! readily give about $100 to their agents and keep $125 for themselves. Under any possible enforcement of the law there would be many violations of it. The Chinese are cunning and unscrup­ ulous. Violating an American law does not shock their moral instincts. They act always upon the assumption that the law can look out for itself. If they can beat the-law they hold that they have a perfect right to do so. They have not found much trouble in getting the best of American officials. In some cases doubtless the oflicials were paid not to see, and in others a little Chinese dust was thrown into open eyes. The result is that Chinese have come about as fast as ever, though it has cost them more to come.--San Francisro Call. Compromising With a Hog. "Good mornin', Marse Dick," said Morse as he stepped into the store of Richard Kelly, down in Mississippi, and doffed his hat, holding it in his hands behind him. "Good morning, Aaron. What can I do for vou this morning?" said Mr. Kelly. "Da'se got me agin, Marse Dick." "Who's got you?" "Der gran' gurer." • "What have you been doing?" "Nuffin, fo' God, Marse Dick." "You must have done something wrong, Dick, or the grand jury cer­ tainly would not have indicted vou." "Fo' God, Marse Dick, I hain't done nuffin'." "Well, what do they say you have done?" "Da' sense me er compromising wi'd a hog." "I knew you had been at some devil­ ment, Aaron. You've been stealing a hog, and if you are convicted, the court will divorce you from your wife for two years and send you to the penitentiary." "Hit will?" "Yes." "I golly, Marse Dick, dat's good. * "What! going to the penitentiary for two years good?" "Not dat part so much, but der udder part, dat what tickle me." "What other part?" "Gitting dat deforcement from der ole ooman--dat what plees dis nigger." "Then, I understand that you are willing to serve two years in the peni­ tentiary to get rid of your wife?" "Dat's der conclusion of hit, far er ooman dat don't take no intrust in her husband, and don't do nuffin fer he's- 'sport, and forces him to skarmish in der woods for rashuns gat no bisniss wid er husband." Aaron was tried the following week and the judge gave him four, instead of two years, and now he wants his wife to sell his two cows to pay a lawyer to appeal his case to the Supreme Court. But she rather likes the divorce her­ self, especially as it costs her nothing-- Detroit Free Press. The Longevity of Insects. With reference to the longevity of in­ sects, it is worth while to record that we kept a ladybird from the Septeml>er of one year to the September of the fol­ lowing. She was a handsome specimen of the seven-spotted ladybird, and her eggs, which were laid in the winter, after passing through the miniature crocodile stage, produced perfect insects in Feb­ ruary. It is curious to watch the imago emerging from its dusky case; at first no spots are visible on its buttercup- yellow "shards," which contrast strongly with the jet-black leg and underneath; but in a very few hours the first bril­ liancy has gone, the spots appear faintly, and in a few days the final red with black spots is established.--Nature. An Editorial Mine. A new office boy was recently em­ ployed by a Dakota agricultural paper. One day the editor came in and said: "Where's that black book that was on this shelf?" "That old un with th$ cover all wored off?" asked the boy. "Yes." "I chucked it inter the stove to start the fire with--it was only an old agri cultural report for 1885." \ "Great Scott! don't you know, any­ thing? How do you think the Rural Ripper can appear without it ? I've got my editorials out of that book for the last ten years!"--Estelline Bell. Perfectly Charming. She--"So you are writing a novel?" He--"Yes." She--"And what will it contain?" He--"Four divooced women and a society scandal." She--"Won't that be lovely ?"--New York Commer­ cial Advertiser. YOUR character cannot be esfHmtjalUy injured except by your own acta.. BIRD MIGRATION. Winter Quarters H«1<1 by Birds Traveling Two Tbouwrad Miles. While the Southern California winter is like the Eastern spring, the birds fail to nest until the real Eastern spring of May and June comes round--though certain birds, the identity of which I have not been able to ascertain, live in their nests during the,present season These nests are models of ingenuity, and are placed upon the top of the prickly pear that is so carefully avoided by all animals. The nests, and I have found four or five within an area of five feet, are bag-shaped, but built lengthwise, lying parallel to the ground, and having a perfect piazza in front of them, with a projecting cover. The nests are carefully constructed of vari­ ous vegetable matter, and made per­ fectly water-tight, the interior being lined with the softest material to be found. These nests are undoubtedly built in May or June, but they are oc­ cupied by some bird a3 a home and refuge at this season--a fact that is sus­ tained by many evidences. The Southern California winter birds are particularly welcome to Eastern people, as here are innumerable forms with which they are familiar in tlie> ex­ treme North and East. Robins, whose representatives nestled last summer iu the apple orchards of the East, are now spending the winter among the orange groves of this country; and among the familiar forms of warblers and an in­ finite variety of songsters. The instinct that causes these myriads of forms to migrate twice a year, flying over vast distances, has created much specula­ tion. The robin has been seen within the arctic circle in the summer and dur­ ing the winter as far south as Mexico, and one of the smallest birds, a warbler, takes a flight every year equaling, per­ haps, 5,000 miles. What causes bird migration is some­ what difficult to determine, the lack of food and the approach of cold being the principal agents. Whatever may be the direct cause, it is a fact that there is every fall a general movement of birds toward the South, and in the spring a return. The majority of birds make the entire trip from the extreme North to the Gulf States, Southern California and Mexico. Others, as theciwws, etc., remain in the North during the winter, while others, again, as jays, woodpeck­ ers, etc., are partial migrators. It is somewhat of a puzzle how young birds find their way over the country to the South and back to the same door- yard in the spring; but that they do it is well known. Robins, build in the same tree year after year, returning to it in the spring, pernaps after traveling 2,000 miles, within a few hours of their arrival the year previous. While it is somewhat speculative how birds find their way, it is evident that they follow the great rivers, as the Mississippi, the mountain ranges, as the Coast Range and the Rocky Mountains, and the coast itself. The birds on the Eastern coast are often blown out to sea, many reaching Ber­ muda, and" on the Pacific coast, even the most delicate of all, the humming birds, are found on the Island of Juan Fernandez, and all the islands of the California coast are resting places for birds during their migratiigps. Some birds, perhaps the majority, fly at night. • Astronomers have seen flocks three miles up in the air, moving onward so high above the earth that its familiar markings were spread before them like a great map. From this habit of traveling at night they often fall victims to various ob­ jects. The light-houses on this coast, especially where fogs prevail, could tell a strange story of the myriads of deli­ cate feathered victims that dash against the light on misty nights. In Eastern waters often a hundred birds will be found in the morning at the foot of the light-house, and on a light near Den­ mark (Heligoland), that stands in the track Qf one of the great European lines of bird migration, great heaps of birds are often found by the keeper in the morning. The sustaining power of birds is well shown in the fact that I have seen birds of many kinds alight on the extreme outer keys of the Florida reef. They were blown out by north­ ers, showing that they had flown across the Gulf of Mexico. At such times they are very tame, alighting upon v es­ sels. A friend tells .me that he has often had birds alight on his boat when fishing ten miles off shore, a sparrow, even, alighting on his head. In Los Angeles, in the fall, when the migration has set in, the electric lights are often fatal to the birds, their bodies being found under the pole in the morning, while in a fog myriads have been seen darting about as if fas­ cinated by the dazzling light. The headlight of the locomotive is also fatal to birds, and the engineers on the Southern Pacific and other lines fre­ quently find evidences of contact on the " iss, and dead birds have been found on the engine and track.--San Fran­ cisco Call. Facts About Planets. Yenus, so well known to us all as the loveliest object in the heavens, the even­ ing and the morning star, resembles closely our own earth. Its size is al­ most the same, its diameter Jbeing 7,660 miles; its day is almost the same length, and its density is rather less than five times that of water. It revolves round the sun at a distance of 00,000,000 miles in the space of 224 days. Like Mercury, however, Venus is moonless. Passing the earth in the meantime, we come to the well-known red planet Mars. The planet is particularly interesting in many points of view. Next to Mercury it is the smallest of the four interior planets, its diameter being only 4,200 miles, or a little more than hall that of the earth or Venus. Its distance from the sun is 141,000,000 miles, and it com­ pletes its circuit in 687 days. The length of its days does not differ mate­ rially from that of our own. Mars has two moons, and one of them presents a phenomenon' unique in the system. No other moon behaves like this one, for it goes round Mars about three times every day; that is to say, it goes faster round Mars than Mars,does on its own axis. Imagine our moon rising and setting three times every twenty-four hours I Another interesting teature in Mars is this: We can see through our telescopes what seems to be the con­ figuration of its continents and oceans, and also accumulation of snow at its poles. We next turn our attention to the other group of planets--Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. These are dis­ tinguished by their enormous size, im­ mense distance from the sun, rapid revolution on their own axes, and very small density. The change from Mars to Jupiter is indeed remarkable. The latter planet, familiar to every observer of the heavens, is indeed a giant among giants. In mass it is equal to all the other planets put together, its diameter be­ ing 85,000 miles, and its distance from the sun 082,000,000 mile". It ***#• 4,332 days to oomplet© its yearly revo­ lution. Although of sucn enormous, dimensions, it turns on its own axis in less than ten hours. From the small density (1:38) of Jupiter, we should imagine it to be composed, in great part at least, of fluid or gaseous matter not yet cooled sufficiently to form solid land. From certain phenomena on its surface it is evident that it is almost completely enveloped in clouds, and it is doubtful if we have ever actually seen the real solid nucleus of this planet. Jupiter is attended by four moons, which revolve around him at various distances. The study of these bodies is of great interest; from watching their movements we* got the first hint of the velocity of light. Next in order in our jour­ ney comes Saturn, at a distance of 884,- 000,000 miles from the sun, and taking no less than 10,759 days to complete its revolution round that lumfciary. This planet, though less than Jupiter, is still p* gigantic dimensions, its diameter be­ ing 71,000 miles. Saturn is the light­ est bf all the planets, its density being only 0.75, so that if placed in a huge ocean it would float with a fourth of its bulk above the level of the water. The most remarkable tiling, however, about this planet is the system of rings by which it is surrounded. What these rings are has long been a puzzle to as­ tronomers, but the riost plausible ex­ planation seems to be that they are composed of myriad hosts of small me­ teoric bodies circulating at some dis­ tance round the body of the planet. Saturn has no less than eight moons under its control, and if it has any inhabi­ tants like ourselves--which is not likely, however--the heavens must be a strange sight to them, with these eight moons and meteoric s warms.--Cass ell's Fam­ ily Magazine. A Woman's Hand. After the restoration of Louis Philippe to the French throne, many of Napoleon's soldiers were left in com­ parative poverty. One of them, a fa­ mous general, had a beautiful daughter whom he wished to marry rich, but who fell in love with a poor young man--an under-secretary or something of that kind. She married at her father's re­ quest a rich count, but refused at the wedding ceremony to allow the ring to be placed upon her left hand, upon which she wore a ruby, put there by her lover. Her jealous husband was nc*£ long in finding out what was the matter, and, intercepting a letter in which the ardent young lover claimed Matilda's hand as his, he determined upon an awful revenge. One night as the celebrated surgeon, Lisfranc, was returning from a pro­ fessional visit, lie was captured by a party of men, blindfolded and taken to a distant palace, and led through a labyrinth of passages and rooms. At last he found himself in a small chamber furnished with remarkable luxury, and half lit by an alabaster lamp hung from the ceiling. The windows were her­ metically sealed, as well as the curtains of an alcove at the end of the room. "Doctor," said the man with whom he now found himself alone, in an abrupt, loud vdire, "prepare for your work--an amputation.» "Where is the patient,?" askecf the doctor, turning toward the alcove. The curtains moved slightly, and he heard a stifled sigh. 'Prepare, sir," said the man, convul­ sively. " "But, sir, I must see the patient." "You will see only the hand you are to cut off." The doctor, folding his arms and looking firmly at the other, said: "Sir, you brought me here by force. If you need my professional assistance I shall do my duty without caring for or troubling myself about your secrets; but if you wish to commit a crime you cannot force me to be your accomplice." "Be content, sir," replied the other, there is no crime in thisand leading him to the alcove he drew from the cur­ tains a hand. "It is this you are to cut off." The doctor took the hand' in his; his fingers trembled at the touch. It was a lady's hand, .small, beautifully moulded, and its pure white set off by a magnificent ruby encircled with dia­ monds. "But," cried the doctor, "there is no need of amputation; nothing is " 'And I, sir! I say," thundered the other, "if you refuse I will do it myself," and seizing a hatchet, he drew the hand toward a small table and seemed about to strike. The doctor arrested his arm. "Do your duty then, doctor." !'Oh, but this is an atrocious act," said the surgeon. "What is that to you? It must be done. I wish it; madam wishes it also, if necessary she will demand it herself.' Come, madam, request the doctor t< i a(> you this service." The doctor, nonplussed, and almost fainting under the torture of his feel­ ings, heard from the alcove, in a half- expiring voice and in an inexpressible accent of despair and resignation: "Sir, since you are a surgeon--yes-- I entreat you--let it be you and not-- oh, yes; you! you! in mercy!" "Well, doctor," said the man, "you or I," The resolution of this man was so frightful, and the prayer of the poor lady so full of entreaty and despair, that the doctor felt that even humanity commanded of him compliance with the appeal of the victim. He took his instruments with a last imploring look at the unknown, who only pointed to the hand, and then with a sinking heart began the operation. For the first time in his experience his hand trembled; but the knife was doing its work. There was a cry from the alcove, and then all was silent. Nothing was heard but the horrid sound of the operation till the hand and the saw fell together to the floor. Lisfranc wore the ruby on his watch- chain, where it was seen by the young lover on his return to Paris, and out of it grew a duel that led to the disclosure of the infamous* crime. The morning after the young lover's arrival at the capital he was presented by a man in livery with an ebony box. Opening it he discovered a bleeding hand, Matilda's, and on it a paper with these words: See how the Countess of keeps her oath." The Euphrates. The great River Euphrates is in dauger of disappearing altogether. Of late years the banks below Babylon have been giving way so that the stream spreads out into a marsh until steamers could not pass, and only a narrow channel remained for native boats. Now this passage is becoming obliterated, and there is danger that the famous river will be swallowed up by the desert. WANT of prudence is too frequently the want erf virtue; nor is there on earth a more powerful advocate for vice than poverty. .>* VrW'* •I; mk nm AND roncr. ' - "IT will be a cold day wlien I get left," as the big round dollar said. A MAN with aboil on his neck often wishes that it were in his stomach. THE Mersey is used for a water sup­ ply. and the takers complain of tna water. The quality of Mersey is not strained. THE town of Glenelg, Maryland, is remarkable for the fact that its name spells the same backward or forward. That's what's the matter with Hn.nnnl» in Pennsylvania, it is said, "av© sociables where you can kiss all the girls you want to at five cents apiece. Pennsylvania is a good State for a jrDor man.-- Puck. BOOKSELLER--"What can I do for you, sir?" Country Customer--"Have you a nice obituary of Bismarck? I think a good deal of him and I would like to have his obituary." TENNYSON receives only four hundred dollars as poet laureate of England. This is encouraging to the young poets who are flooding this office with verses, for Tennyson certainly writes as poorly as they.--California Maverick. THE source from which proceeds the general supply of the milk of human kindness needs an improved quality of fodder, and more of it. The con­ sistency of the cream is hardly up to the standard of commerce.--California Maverick. "SOMEONE has invented a theater-h»t that shuts up to be worn by the ladies." That's all right. Now let some party invent something that will hold a young man in his seat between the acts, and two nuisances will be abated.--Norris- toven Herald. TWELVE lawyers stood at the windows in the Circuit Court room recently, watching a sparrow-hawk plucking the feathers from a sparrow which he ha/i captured for his breakfast. The scene was very interesting to the attorneys. Warsaw (Va.) Herald. A LONDON correspondent-says: "You cannot be invited to the Queen's ball unless you have been at court the same vear. " That settles it. We shall not look for an invitation this season. Owing to a rush of job work we could not have attended, anyway.--Norristown Herald. MRS. DUSENBURY--"O, dear, I'm so worried about my catsup." Mr. Dusen- bury--"What's the matter with it? Can't give it away?" "No, I can't keep it from working. Do you know of any way to stop it?" "A very easy one, my dear. Just send it to Conpreas."-- Philadelphia Call. ~ A WATERBURY man relates the ex­ perience of a guest at a Saratoga hotel recently. After two days' board the guest packed up and asked the clerk for his bill. "Fifty-four dollars," was the bland reply. "Fifty-four? Guess again, young feller. I've got more money in my pocket than. that."-- Waterbury American. HUMAN knowledge is constantly ex­ panding ; but it seems rather too much to hope that we shall know after awhilo how it comes that a woman will go to an auction sale and stand around for an hour smelling breath that would cor­ rode brass, and then buy an old rattle- down bureau, with a cracked glass, at a higher price than a new dressing case would cost, under the delusion that she has cornered a bargain.--Chicago Ledger. DR. PIGHEAD visits Mr. Coldham, the great pork manufacturer. "Well, my dear sir, I don't see that there's any­ thing radically wrong with you. Go to bed early, don't drink anything stronger than coffee, and you'll be all right in a week." "What, you are not going to give me any medicine?" "Certainly not. You don't need it." "But you get your twenty-five dollars just the same." "Yes. Just so." "Well, I don't think it's a square deal. S'posin' you bleed me, put a mustard-plaster on the back of my neck, and gimme a dose of salts. Everybody that works for me's got to earn his salary!"--Rambler. THE little ones have strange ideas of a hereafter. The Saunterer was con­ versing with a two-footer not long since, and the conversation turned on the New Jerusalem. "Well," said the tiny phi­ losopher, "I expect only our heads go to Heaven." "Why?" was the natural response. "O, because the pictures of angels that I have seen have been all head and wings." The same little logi­ cian, after hearing a description of the destruction of Pompeii, stood for a minute looking at Mount Vesuvius in a state of eruption, and then remarked: "Well, I suppose they were buried under the lava because people were wanted to fill up Heaven."--Boston Budget. Too BAD.--Seal skin saoques are no longer popular in fashionable circles. They are becoming too common. It is a pity, for a handsomer or more com­ fort-giving garment never graced a lady's figure.--Fashion Paper. The seal skin sacqce that erst with pride was worn By ladies in the winter on the street, Is now regarded with a kind of scorn By people who are known as the elite. And there are folks whe say the cause of this is:-- The handsome garments have become too oom- mon; Ton cannot tell a servant from her "missis," Or a wealthy lady from a washerwoman. How annoying, for the garments aro so warm, As much admired by men upon the street, Afford as much protection from the storm . As when they first wtre worn by the elite. It is a great annoyance, that's a fact, Those glossy garments--how can fashion i 'em? Why can't the Legislature pass an aot Forbidding all but the elite to wear «ttt --BoeUm Courier. Traveling Salesmen. One of the leading dry goods sales­ men of the United States tells me that they are now about 80,000 traveling salesmen on the road in this country, and that their expense account alone will average $1,500 a year each. This for expenses alone means an outlay of $120,000,000 a year, and if you will count in an average salary of $1,000 a year each it will swell the total to $200,- 000,000 a year. This immense sum is scattered all over the United States. It keeps up the hotels, and is one of the most important items, of railroad pas­ senger receipts. The character of the traveling salesman has changed within a decade past. You will find very few boys and fewer drunkards upon the road. The competition is so great and the expenses so heavy that firms have to send out their best men, and salaries of $3,000 and $5,000 a year are by no means uncommon: IN England a pully sixty-three feet in diameter, and weighing sixty-three tons, has just been made. It has grooves »^r thirty-two ropes, which to­ gether will transmit 1280-horse power, and the rim will have a velocity of more than a mile a minute. EVERYTHING great is not always goo&* but all good things are great. ,.... A coLD spell--i-c-e.