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tlM SotiMatoN Charges V U»« jfrftfciit of Hk CowBtiy. affod m the chief executive of the United States. At one time he mid Hurt he luu^been abused worse thm a common piok-pocket, and be was changed wiihsll sorts of crimes durin< his administration, says the Clevela&i Leader. The Philadelphia Aurora ynk, peAaps, the most bitter. When Washington left the presidency It had a jubilant article over the dose of term, in which it said: *'If ever there was a period of rejoic- aag this is_ the moment. Every heart in unison with the freedom and happi­ ness of the people ought to beat high ~Tash-with exultation that the name of Was ington this dsjy ceased to give a cur­ rency to political iniquity and to legal' iaed corruption. A new era is now opening upon us--an era which prom­ ise# much to the people; for public measures must now stand upon their own merits, and nefarious projects can .no longer be supported by a name. It is a subject of the greatest astonish­ ment that a single individual should have carried his designs against the „•public liberty so far as to have put in jeopardy its very existence. Such, however, are the facts, and with these « staring us in the face, this day ought to be a jubilee in the United States." John Randolph, of Roanoke, at a din' aer once proposed the toast: "George Washington; may he bed----d.n This, however, was too strong for the com­ pany, who were enemies of Washing­ ton, and he had to add the proviso, "if he signs Jay's treaty," before they ."Would drink to it. * During a part of his presidency Wash ington was called the step-father of his country, and among the paragraphs written about him was one that said: "That to talk of the wisdom of the great commander (Washington) and the great philosopher (Franklin) was to talk non­ sense, for Washington was a fool from , nature and Franklin was a fool from age." In 1795 "A Calm Observer" In the New York Journal accused Washing­ ton of being a thief. He stated that he had overdrawn his accounts and that he owed the Treasury $1,037. Another writer accused Washington of hypoc­ risy, and, in fact, all the opposition newspapers denounced him in unmeas­ ured terms. Congress went against him during his second term and re­ fused to celebrate his birthday, though they had been accustomed to do so, And when he refused to run for a third term they charged that he did so be­ cause he feared that he could not be elected. It will be surprising to the people to­ day to know that Washington was once charged with murder. It was during one of his presidential campaigns. The Philadelphia Aurora made the charge. It stated that Washington had, during one of the battles of his early life, shot an officer who was bearing a flag of truce, and that in the papers relating to the affair he had acknowledged the act of assassination. Peter Porcupine takes up the charge in his letters and proves it to be false. The fact, how- <wer, stands that the charge was made. The First Bridge. When was the first bridge oon- Structed, and what was it made of? tun not able to answer the first question very definitely, but I think I know What the first bridge was made of. It was not of wood, nor of stone, nor of brick, nor of iron, nor of rope. It was made entirely of monkeys--live mon­ keys. A troupe of these animals in a South American forest came one uay to a stream which was too wide for them tp leap across. They climbed a high tree, where the first monkey selected a Suitable branch, wound * his long, Eowerful tail about it, and let himself ang head downward. The second monkey, running down the body of the first, wound his tail about its neck and shoulders, and let himself hang down­ ward. A third and a fourth added themselves in succession, and others after them, till the chain reached the ground. Then the lowest monkey, by striking his hands on the earth, set the living pendulum in motion, and in­ creased this motion by striking again at each oscillation, till it swung so far across the stream that he was able to seize a branch of a tree on the other aide. The line of monkeys constituted a bridge, by which the remainder of the troupe quickly crossed over. Then the monkey which (not who, as most people write it,) had been the first volunteer in this engineer corps un­ wound his tail from the branch and let go. What had before been the top of the pendulum was now the bottom; it swung across the stream, and dissolved into its original elements, and the whole troop went chattering on their way. This took place before the appearance of a man upon the earth, and the long- tailed monkeys have been building such bridges ever since. Between that primitive bridge of monkeys and the last and greatest of all bridges ever undertaken--the sus­ pension bridge over East River, con­ necting New York and Brooklyn-- there is apparently a wide discrepancy; yfit the two are constructed on the same principle. The first bridge recorded in history was built over the Euphrates, at Baby­ lon, in the reign of Queen Nitocris. The course of the river was turned, and its bed laid dry, till the foundations Were built. The arches, were 01 im­ mense hewn stones, clamped together with iron, and the whole bridge was roofed over. It was thirty-five feet wide, and over six hundred fee,t long. No remnant of this great bridge has been discovered in modern times.-- Wide-Awake. '•-a. - Snowshoe Thompson's Great Leap. If not the swiftest, it is universally conceded that even jap to the time of his death, Thompson was the most ex- Ssrt snowshoe runner in the Sierra evada Mountains. At Silver Moun­ tain, Alpine Co., Cal., in 1870, when he was 43 years of age, he ran a distance of 1,600 feet in twenty-one seconds. There are many snowshoers in that place, but the daring Thompson passed them all. Near the town was a big mountain, where the people of the place were wont to assemble on dear days to the number of two or three hundred. The ordinary snowshoers would go part way up the mountain to where there was a tench and then glide down a beaten path. This was too tame for Thompson. He would make a circuit of over a mile and then come out on the top of the mountain. When he ap­ peared on the top he would give one of his wild, high Sierra whoops, poise his balance pole and dart down the face of the mountain at lightning speed, leap­ ing all the terraces from top to bottom, and gliding far out on the level before halting. Snowshoe Thompson Beldom performed any feat 'for the mere name 'V x ^ j . 1 " Ismeof dofag Yet W, P. Merrill, postmaster at Woodforda, Alpine County, writes to me as follows in speaking of some of Thompson's achievements: "He at one time went back to Genoa, on a moun­ tain, on his anowshoes, and made a jump of 180 feet without a break." This seems almost incredible, but Mr. Merrill is a reliable man, and for many years Thompson was his near neighbor, and a regular customer at his store. Thompson doubtless made this fearful leap at a placc where he would land in a great drift of snow. I spoke of this feat to Mr. C. P. Gregory, formerly Thompson's neighbor in the mountains, but at present a resident of Virginia City, Nev., and he answered that, al­ though he had not heard of that par­ ticular jump, he did not doubt what Mr. Merrill said. "I know," said Mr. Gregory, "that at Silver Mountain he often made clear jumps of fifty and sixty feet."--Overland Monthly. \, "h A Turkish Wedding. : All weddings in Turkey, among Turks, whether in provinces or cities, are arranged by old women, and are complicated, tedious affairs. The bride­ groom holds fete several days at his home for his men friends, and the prospective bride at her home with her young friends--girls, of course. The night before the wedding the married men of her acquaintance come and eat the married woman's dinner with her, which consists principally, as Sam Weller woifid say, of a "swarry" of leg of mutton and trimmings. The next day the bride is taken to the bride­ groom's house in a sedan chair, with a retinue of slaves carrying her wedding presents on trays on their heads, cov­ ered "with colored tarlatan. The pro­ cession is sometimes quite imposing. The bride's female relatives are also there in the new harem until nightfall, and they retire to their homes, leaving the bride sitting on a sort of throne veiled. The bridegroom is then ad­ mitted, and he is to throw himself at the bride's feet and offer her his wed­ ding present of some handsome jewelry, and beg her to raise her veil and strike him blind by her beauty. Sometimes he is struck dumb by her ugliness, for he never looks on her face until after the wedding. When a babe is born in any house there is great rejoicing if it be a boy, less if a girl. The wife is proud for awhile, but Turkish women are not good mothers. They are too childlike themselves. When a girl is born to a Sultan they fire seven guns; when a boy, twenty-one. The boys die early; the girls are more apt to live. This is supposed to be a divine interposition of Providence to prevent too many claim­ ants to the throne. Babies are dressed like mummies in swaddling clothes for six months; then the boys are put in trousers, sometimes in generals' or colonels' uniforms, regularly made. When the Sultan takes a wife no ceremony is considered necessary more than to present his bride. The new Sultan inherits all the widows and slaves of his predecessor, and every year of his reign, at the feast of the Ramazan, he receives a new one from his mother and takes any other girl or woman to his harem, who happens to strike his fancy. Slaves who become mothers are instantly promoted to the rank of Sultana. Six months before the feast of Ramazan the Yalide Sul­ tana orders that all the young candi­ dates be brought to her, and she chooses fifteen and sometimes more of the loV These are immediately put under diet aud training and at the be­ ginning of the jrreut feast she again chooses and this time the choice is final. At the evening of the appointed day the Sultan, upon retiring, finds his new bride standing nude, with folded hands and lowered eyes, at the foot of the bed. After he has retired she must lift the bed-clothes at the foot and crawl into bed in that way as a sign of subjection. Girls arrive at legal majority at 9 years of age. and are frequently mar­ ried at 10. Children of 12 and 13 are often seen with babies of their own. They are old at 25. The old Turkish women have a hard lot of it Beyond a respect for age which they contrive to inspire by tooth and nail among other wives younger than they, their lives are not happy. Still, they are provided for, and as long as a man lives he feeds his family, one all alike. Modern Shams in Society. Nothing is so clearly apparent to the intelligent observer of modern society as the many deceptions and the false glitter which it contains. There are social circles which one may enter where the false and deceptive find no place, but these are iu the minority. Glance at the average society of to-day, and there is but little in it that is really what one supposes it to be. How often is it that we find men and women car­ rying impressions of wealth and station far beyond their real income! Dignity is found to be only pretension, refine­ ment an artificial gloss, and intelligence but a verbal display. White satin dresses are worn where the plainest muslin is scarcely within the weaver's income; broadcloth, where the simplest business-suit, if honestly paid for, would almost be a draft upon the revenue re­ ceived. Flowers are worn in profusion, jewelry loaned, and "carriages hired by those to whom the acquirement of the necessities of daily life is a struggle. Society, instead of being made a great compact designed to promote the good of man and woman, is used only as a canning contrivance to palm off unreal virtues, and give to the unsophisticated •wrong and injurious impressions. Host and hostess share in the general decep­ tion with their guests, although neither is conscious of the other's deceit. The china on the table of the hostess is ad­ mired and its possession envied by her guest, while the former in return is driven to a maddening inward jealousy" at the gorgeous garments of her guest. The guest knows not that the china is loaned, the hostess is ignorant of tho unpaid bill of the dressmaker. The furniture, heavy portieres, and expen­ sive draperies are examined with admi­ ration and so fixed becomes the attention of the guest upon the embellishments of the home of her hostess that no room is left in the mind for a suspicion of a plan of purchase commonly known as the "installment." The young • man, with only a cursory knowledge of the cost of feminine apparel, regards what is only inexpensive silk or satin as the richest goods the market affords. The voung lady, iu turn, silent ly calculates her chaperon's income by the flowers he sends, the liveried carriage in which he escorts her to the reception, and the full-dress suit in which he is arrayed. Her untrained mind knows not the ex­ istence of places where a lun^-h may be had by a modest indulgence in bever­ age, and establishments where clothing is sold for a night--Brooklyn Maga- IT ought to be easy for a blacksmith WHEN a m or laundress to speak with irony. could it be call yeaas o imnr. •pMtaam <4 Sererml VsiMm *»• miliar te Moit People. [San Frartcieoo Chronicle. ] In the more offensive forms of mild idiocy there is always this disregard of the well-being of others. There is the peripatetic idiot, who is always stopping to talk to somebody else in the middle of the sidewalk or on a frequented cor­ ner, taking pains to do this when the streets are fullest of pedestrians. There is the dramatic idiot, who sits behind or in front of you at the theater, and keeps telling his companion what the actors are going to do next. There is a female species of this genus who may be the supposed intellectual Wife of a husband of well authenticated stupid­ ity, to whose enlightenment she devotes during the progress of the play all her attention.* Her volublity exceeds that of a thousand-dollar-a-year commercial traveler, and her voice is of that carry­ ing, F-in-alt. kind that aggravates the listener more than the filing of a saw, or a pine splinter vibrating in the win­ ter wind. Let it be said to the dis­ credit of its sex that the musical idiot is usually a male. If you have an ear for music and it is a favorite opera, he takes pains to sit beside you, aud when the marvelous voice of the great tenor or the astounding organ of the wonder­ ful soprano is going up up liske Shel­ ley's skylark, he beats time with his feet and emits harsh, guttural sounds that he thinks resembles the air of the singer. The exquisite joys of music are evanescent at the best, and the musical soul is sensitive to the slightest discord. Nothing can be done with a pachyderm of -this species. There are fools and idiots so strangely consti­ tuted that they will not believe they are fools and idiots even if you tell them. His is one of that kind, and the law, alas, does not allow you to kill him, nor can he be put in a dark cell, like the prisoner of Chillon, and fed on moldy bread and tainted meat till his discordant life fitly ends in a lingering death. There are other forms of mu­ sical idiocy which are displayed in acro­ batic feats at untimely hours on the piano, in tampering with that exquisite instrument, the violin, and eliciting ear-piercing sounds from the flute. But the types are too commonplace for scientific classificatidn. So, also, are those types of idiocy that open all the windows in midwinter and insist on having them closed in midsummer. Once in a crowded theater the or­ chestra ceasedilts efforts with a great crash and abrupt silence and a shrill voice was borne to the uttermost parts of the vast auditorium which said: "I like mine fried in butter." Tho inci­ dent is mentioned in all the histories of the period. It was one of those idiotic persons, a female in this instance, who, when they get to talking, can be stopped by neither a steam-brake nor the side of a mountain. It is a numer­ ous class and its representatives travel much on the street-cars and often visit theaters and concerts,where they insist on relating their private affairs in loud, nerve-harrowing tones. They have the kind of voice which, heard behind you in the street, ever pursues you, main­ taining its penetrating quality in the universal din long after its owner has been distanced and engulfed in the heedless crowd. This class of idiots is most vicious and offensive. They have an acute form of the malady trans­ cending anodynes and anaesthetics, and demanding heroic treatment. Nothing will suffice but to extirpate the present generation and slaughter their children. The idiocy of the average boy is of an exaggerated kind. It can hardly be classed as mild. He might properly be called a howling idiot except that, not having arrived at years of discre­ tion, he is partially excusable for the mental aberration which causes him to violate all the proprieties. A little later he becomes an adolescent, when his idiocy takes a sentimental form, less disagreeable, though equally selfish. The malo biped just entering manhood imagines that he is tJie center of the solar system and that about him revolve all the planets and their moons. He is not quite certain about the universe. If he walks he thinks everybody is looking at him. When he speaks he imagines every one is listening. He re­ gards mankind as only an enlargement or broadening out of the family circle, of which he has been the idol. Noth­ ing but hard knocks cures this form of idiocy, and it is a sovereign remedy ex­ cept in respect of certain cases specified. But the forms and phases of idiocy that characterize advancing years--the simper of old maidenhood, the girlish affectation of matrons who should have learned something in a past full of stern experiences, the weakness for the front row that characterizes baldness, and all the little artifices by which one attempts to wage a losing battle with time--lack interest and repel sympathy. With varieties not mentioned there is enough material to make a work like Agassiz's "Fishes," or Audubon's "Birds," and he who devotes his time to it will be sure to make money and may enhance his fame. Bring Your Chair Along. A tourist, who has made his tenth trip across the Atlantic, begins to think that the steamship companies might as well expect a passenger to take his own table over with him as to compel him to take chairs with liim. He • observes: "Here are several lines of magnificent new steamers, perfect floating palaces, with every improvement and comfort that human ingenuity and science can suggest--large promenade decks, spa­ cious smoking rooms, ladies' parlors, a fine dining saloon, electric lights and bells in every bedroom, etc.--but for the most primitive article of furniture, which may be found in the poorest laborer's hut, you look in vain on the deck or that part of the steamer where, in good weather, nine-tenths of the pas­ sengers spend the whole day. 'Bring your chair along if you want a seat,' is the motto of all the European steam­ ship companies. Surely it is time to put an end to this idiotic custom." He Was Very tired. "Poor man, and you are very hun­ gry." "I've had nothing to eat but a garlic root since last week." "And very tired ?"„ "Tired ma'am! I'm afraid to rest for fear of getting paralyzed. I don't care for that, though, it's these city sidewalks that weary me. I've got a starving family at the other end of town. If you'll give me some money to ride, ma'am, I can lie down and die with them." > • 'Mlow much do you "Only 25 cents, Voice of husband, has been reading "Mary!" "Yes, John.!" "Give him no walk the plank. C^RASSIIR&i^ A T O F R S B A Y .r im^t. S»*C*1er. a. Kxfetod t» . ^ °r Iea™ Ne* York Qwatat English Seaport. j 93 Wre» •»* An aroma adv«, tur. *S«>M' SrX" ^ SYTWE4 £E£T21 •£'-=* -- this century how different it must have been. Robin Hood's Bay, says a writer . ... - .... - -- in the Spectator, was then a favorite ! ±ySJet*rJ°.l abode of sea captains--owners of tn Ssl? .. let him Ledger * . V * mg vessels, once called merchaut ad­ venturers--and what with the danger of encountering French cruisers during the war, and with the perils and profits of voyages to Greenland for whales, when the war was over and such expe­ ditious were once more possible, there can have been no lack of emotional in­ terest. And then there was the per­ petual delight of smuggling--the haul­ ing contraband articles up the cliffs l>y ropes when nights were dark, and the not infrequent conflicts with the excise­ men. Worse still, there was always the fear of the press gang swooping down and carrying off some of the men of the place to sea. Many of the houses can still show cunningly concealed hiding places, where kegs of brandy and gin, and kegs of what they called "elly go long" (eau de Cologne), and bales of cotton or silk could be and were concealed. Such places might do for articles of this kind, but when the press gang drew near, flight was the best chance of safety for the men. Many now alive remember their fathers hiding iu the chimney or spending a day and a night at the top of some tree in the neighboring woods to escape these dreaded visitants. One man well remembers all the fishermen's wives getting their knives ready to go to the top of the hill and drive back the men who were coming to snatch away their master-men. Compared with this, the feelings brought into play by smug­ gling must have been very inferior in intensity. Evasion of the law was briskly car­ ried on. Gin was so common that people washed their faces in it; a tumblerful could be bought for a penny, or a large jugful for fourpence; and gcod brandy was just as cheap. It was easy enough to get as much of these things as was wanted for home consumption; but it was very difficult to turn them into money. They were generally taken to Whitby, and what was technically called "delivered" at a place in the old town, near the asylum. Some widow who had no man to "work for her often tried to earn a livelihood by delivering spirits or other things; but other women took a part, too. They filled bladders with brandy or gin, slung six or eight of these beneath their gowns, and then set off to walk the six miles which lay between them and Whitby. The excisemen were quite aware of what they were about, and kept a sharp lookout for them. The women did not go Ivy the high road, but crept along behind the hedges. One day two of them were on their way when they saw the exciseman on the other side of the hedge. They tried to walk on; but he had seen them, and soon found a gap and came into the field where they were. One of . the women was now sitting down by the hedge, crying and groaning. "Now I've got you," said he; but the woman did nothing but cry and groan. "Can't you see what is the matter, you fool?" said the other woman. "The very least you can do iB to go and get a doctor for the poor creature.""^Hedid go, and no sooner was he out of sight than they jumped up and hurried off to get rid of their burden. Later in the day they met the same exciseman in the Flower gate. "Well, Molly, safe delivered, lass?" said lie. "Ay, sir, down there by the quay," she replied, with a grin. The Teacher's Vocation. When we leave our child in the hands of the teacher we. feel that all that it is possible for the school to accomplish for it depends on the last analysis of his personality"; on the purity of his character; on the power of his insight; on the extent and quality of his prep aration for his calling and interest in it; on his perfect mastery over what he is and what he knows; on the depth and power of his human sympathy; in a word, on his fitness to be a teacher. We ought to be able to take for granted that he does not pursue his calling as a mere vulgar handicraft; as a means to some end entirely foreign to it; as the stepping stone to something else, or as a convenient substitute for something else. The school is not a charitable foundation for the assistance of indi­ gent talent that is preparing for other fields of usefulness; it is not a matri­ monial bazaar for marriageable young ladies; nor yet an almshouse for the foor or an infirmary for the imbecile, f there ever is "a divine call" to do anything, there should be one to teach. Viewed in this light there is no vo­ cation that is more elevating, more en­ nobling than that of a teacher. It offers as grand a field for the highest endeavor as any occupation on earth. It is by its very nature removed from all low modes of thought, all vulgar temptations, and all sordid and un­ worthy aims. * Of all public vocations none offers greater or purer rewards (provided they be not estimated in money or money's worth) and none that is possessed of 80 'large an influence over the future. Theodore Parker once said to a young man who was tak­ ing counsel of him: "In the future of America I think the teacher will have quite as large an opportunity for mold­ ing the people to noble ends as the preacher." And in fact there is no estimating the power placed in the hands of the teacher. The very great­ ness and nobility of his office ought to fill him with inspiration.--Cincinnati Enquirer. The Choctaw Nation. The Choctaw is a fine sounding tongue, declared by Walter Lowry, once a United States Senator and fully capable of judging, as being the finest language in the world for oratory. It is easy to learn enough of it for trad­ ing purposes, but to learn it thorough­ ly is very difficult. It has more words than most Indian tongues, the lexicon containing about ten thousand. The Choctaws for over fifty years have had publications in their language. They use the Roman alphabet, with some modifications. There are twenty-two letters. They now have a regular rep­ resentative form of government and have had for many years. The Choc­ taw capital is Tusbkahomma. They have a general council, consisting of a Senate and a House of Representatives, and have County, District, and Su- Ereme Courts. The Choctaw Nation ad the prohibitory law thirty years before Maine, and it was in their con­ stitution thirty years before Kansas had it. It is enforced fairly.%ell, par­ ticularly as the United States inter­ course laws prohibit the introduction of intoxicating liquors into the Terri­ tory. As to the general laws of the nation, they are not as well enforced as they might be. i Whipping is a fa­ vorite punishment tndianapoli» Journal, ** lass money at the Grand Union Hotel Say other first-class hotel in the city. Stem Signal*. As the eomiag of a great storm is heralded by the display of oautooaaqr signal*, «o is the approach of that droad Sad fatal diaeaae, Con­ sumption of the Luaga, umuailv aaaoonoed ia I advance br biotchee, erapwii*^nl- I cers, glanduiar Bweiiiuga, aad kiudrwd oittmard 1 nuuiiestationa of the internal bload poison, ( wUich, if not promptly exp„-ile<Ji from the BYS-1 tem, attacks the delicate tusaea of the lungs, j causing them to ulcjrate and breakdown. Dr. , Pkrce'» "Golden Medical Discovery" ia the great remedy lor thia, as for all diseases hav­ ing their origin in bad blood. It improves tha appetite and uigeatiou, increases nutrition "J bauds up the wasted system. " THE last man will, of course, be a bcot- mnker. IF bilious, or snfTering from imparity of blood, or weak lungs, ana fear of consumption George Law's Poker Game. * They were telling about big games of poker, and the Alb .ny man sighed for the flesh-pots of Egypt as he said: "They are gone." Then he went on to say that since the war, while poker had , been popularized, poker pots had been ' ("profwl«m d seaae of the lungs), take Dr. -- AT- - Pierce's "Golden Mod.cal Discovery,* and ift minimized, until now the game was scarcely worth the candle vou play it by. "Why," he sa'd, "nowadays it is a big thing to see $5,003 change hands in a night's poker-playing. But I remem­ ber one night before the war, when I was going up to Albany on a steam­ boat with Commodore Yanderbilt, Dean Richmond, George Law and some others of that crowd, they sat down to a game of poker. I sat down to watch, and not to play, for I hadn't money enough for their ante. I sat beside George Law, and he turned to me as the game began and said: "Don't you be scared if I lose a lot of money to-night." "I responded forcibly, if not elegant­ ly, that I didn't care a curse if he lost his whole fortune. But I confess it stirred me to see him losing and old Vanderbilt winning $1,000 at a clip, until toward morning Law had lost $45,000 to Vanderbilt. Law took it coolly, and so did the rest. I did not understand Law's coolness, for I knew he was not as rich as all that, until I met him a day or two later in New York. "Well," said he, with a wicked wink, WImade #855,000 out of it." "Out of what?" I asked. "That game of poker with old Yanderbilt," said he. /"I sold him my steamers the next day for $900,000.-- Philadelphia Record. A Valuable Medical Treatise. Ths edition for 1887 of the sterling Madieal Annual, known as Hoetetter'g Almanac, is now ready, and may be obtan^fe. free of cost, of druggists and general county dealers in all parts of the United States, Mexico, and indeed in every civilised portion of the Western Hem­ isphere. This Almanac has been issued regu­ larly at the commencement of every year for over one-fifth of a. ccntury. It 'combines-, with the soundest practical auvice for the preserva­ tion and restoration of health, a large amount of interesting and amuBing light reading, and the calendar* astronomical calculations, chron­ ological items, etc., are prepared with great care, and will be found entirely accurate. The issue of Hostetter's Almanac for 1887 will prob­ ably be the largest edition of a medical work ever published in any country. Tho proprie­ tors, Messrs. Hostetter «Sr Co., Pittsburgh, Pa., on receipt of a two-cent stamp, will forward a copy by mail to any person who cannot procure one in his neighborhood. A Severe Judge. Judge Bickletonis very severe. When a man neglects a summons which comes from Bickleton's court, he generally makes up his mind to pay a heavy fine or go to prison. There are times when the Judge is cruelly unjust, and still there are times when he is strangely merciful. Bill Nixon, who was summoned the other day, failed to appear. When a Deputy Sheriff had brought him into court the J udge fiercely turned upon the unfortunate man, and said: "Mr. Nixon, did you not receive a summons to appear before this court yesterday?" "Yes, sir." • f "Why didn't you come ? "I was sick, your honor.*- -<s "A very lame excuse, sir. Mr. Clerk, enter up a fine of fifty dollars against Mr. Nixon, and, Mr. Sheriff, take charge of the negligent gentleman until the fine is paid." "Judge," said Nixon, Now that I'm fined, I'd just as well tell you the truth. I was drunk yesterday." "Ah! Well, that alters the case. Mark off the fine, Mr. Clerk.--Arkan- saw Traveler. MB. ARTHUR SHTTRTLEFF, Parker, Da­ kota, writes that he suffered two years with a lame knee, which was entirely cured by the use of St. Jacobs Oil. He considers it a most wonderful remedy. It conquers pain. A SWEDISH physician, having as a patient a young girl blind in the right eye and yet presenting no discover­ able lesion of that organ, observed that her mouth was full of decayed teeth on the right side. The diseased fangs were removed, and not many days after the sight returned. The Practitioner reports an analagous case, that of a young man cured of epileptic attacks (fits) by the extrac­ tion of a diseased "right upper middle incisor" tooth.--Dr. Foote's Health Monthly. MB. L. D. VnreoN, Cashier D. A I. B. R., has tried and indorses Bed Star Cough Cure. Did Washington Eat Green Peas with a Knife! The following extract is taken from the "Elementary History of the United States," by G. Pk Quaekenbos, 1886. The author has not sinned enough in repeating an absurd story about an at­ tempt to poison Gen. Washington, in June, 1776, which has no foundation, but he is also guilty of accusing the great hero of eating green peas with a knife: Fixing his eyes upon the guilty man, he put a spoonful of peas on his plate, ana asked him, 'Shall I eat of these ?' 'I don't know,' stammered the man, turning deadly pale. Washington took some on his knife, and again asked, 'Shall I eat of these?' The man could not say a word, bnt raised his hand as if to prevent it." It is interesting also to note that this "history" has been adopted by the authorities of the city of Brooklyn for use in their schools.--Correspondence Magazine of American History. "You had better change that rug," said a lady to her servant. "Don't you think it corroborates better with the carpet in this way ?" was the response. YOUNG or middle-aged men, suffering from nervous debility or kindred affcotione, should address with 10 cents in stamps for large treat­ ise, World's Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y. YOUNG ladies smile no more on Wales, He is fat, and, horrors! threatened with gout. •ROTTOH 00 Bats" clean out rata. mioe. 15a. "Rongh oil Corns"--hard or soft conn. 1Mb "Bough on Toothach*." Instant relief, lis. "Bough on Dentist* Tooth Powder, 10s. WIDE awake 3 or 4 hours every night, coogfc* inc.--Get immediate relief and sound rest By using 'Bough on Coughs" Troches, 10 cents. Tax mother's favorite cough --diatoe lot the children and adults Is "Bough on Coughs" Troches, 10c. Liquid, 9to. " iLlFK PBESEBVEHT If you ere losing your grip an life, try 'W«V Beanh Benewer/ Goes direct to weak apota. wJi cure you. By druggists. THE man who sat upon a bent PHI IS de­ nounced as a profane upstart. COUGHS. --BROWN'S BRONCHIAL TROCHES are used with sdvantage to alleviate Coughs, Sore Throat, and Bronchial Affections. Sold only in bvrM. TOBACCO leaves--the cigar a*nbo that are thiown away. How to Save Money. Wherever you live, you should write to Hallett A Co., Portland, Maine, and learn about work that you cau do while living at your own home at a profit of at least from £5 tj f35 and upwards daily. Home have made over $5J in a day. All is new. Either sex. All ages Ilallett & Co. will start you. Capital not ne?dod. All particulars free. Send along your address at once and all of the above will be proved to you. Nothing like at ever known to workingnien. "BUCHU-I'AIBA." Quick, complete cure, all annoying kidaey, bladder, and urinary diseases, tl. At druggists. "KOl'CH ON 1ULE" PILLS. Small granules, small dose, big results, pleas* sat in operation, don't diBturb the stomach. 95a, ••BOUGH ON DIRT." Ask for "Rough on Dirt." A perfect washing powder found at last! A harmless, extra fine, A 1 artlole, pure and clean; sweetens, freshens, bleachfs, ainl whitens without the slightest in­ jury to finest fabrics. Unequaled for fine linens ana laces, general household, kitchen, end laun­ dry use. Softens water; saves labor and soapt, 6c, 10c, 26c. At druKgists or grocers. MKNSMAN'S Peptonized Beef Tonie, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nu­ tritions propertir*. It contains blood-making, force-generating, and life-sustaining proper­ ties; invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostration, and all forms of general debility; also in all enfeebled conditions, whether the work of exhaustion, norvous pros­ tration, overwork, or acute disease, particu­ larly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hazard & Ca, proprietors, Mew York. Sold by druggists. BRONCHITIS is cured by frequent small doses of Piso's Cure for Consumption. Hood's Sarsaparilla This successful medicine is a carefully-prcparcd extract of the l>ctt rcmeClcs of the vegetable kingdom known to medical science as Alteratives, Blood rurlliers. Diuretics, and Tonie*. such as* Sarsaparilla, Yellow Dock, StiUiiigia, Dandelion. Juniper Berries, Mandrake, Wild Cherry Bark and other selected roots, barks and herbs. A medicine, like anything else, can bo fairly Judged only by its results. Wo point with satisfaction to the glorious record Hood's Sarsaparilla has en­ tered for Itself upon the hearts of thousands of people who have personally or indirectly been relieved of terrible sufforlng which all othsr remedies failed to reach. Sold by all druggists, ft; six for f». Msde only by C. I. HOOD A (XX, A^othccurics, Lowell, Mass. IOO P0908 ON# Dollar, ELY*® BOU CREAM_ BALMJ For 15 yean /was] mnnoyed with tarrh, severe pain in tnff head, discharge* into my throat, and unjtleasant breath. My sen$e of smell wag much impaired. I have overcome these troubles with Ely's Cream Balm. --J. ft Case, St. Denis Ho­ tel, ltroadway, N. Y. A particle is applied into each nostril and in agreeable to use. Price 50 ct«„ I«T mall or at drnirarists. Send for circular. Kt,V| BKOTHEK8. Druggists. Owero. N. Y. I FOR MIX Patent Solicitors U£S|] UNRIVALED Ol UPRICHT On the KASY PA' per month alogue with ctod on the new teems. Bend for descriptive OoQstm liar term.. HAS0N « HAMLIN ORGAN Mitt PIANO Qft. Boston, New York, Chicago* ADVERTISERS ZZZ.-'ZZZZ an advertising space whan in Chicago, writ find it a* 45 to 49 Randolph St., the Advertising Agency ef LORD ft OLD SOLDIERS and EXPKKlKNm for each CHICAOO I.KIM4KJI. One wh voted to War Sketches every week, tine to life. Bead them. You cann date them, for they are furnished by and '•VANK," and give intenet& the Union aad Confederate amies. st<mv«fora sample 1 nser In the West. t. CftlCACiO LKlltiK copy ot the best Fa1 8£<S&Kirr Have been heartily enjoyed by £ nearly every town and oityln Ue Marvelous Cures have been nessed by thousands of pool _ m voKsttm RAum rom NanHa't Wizard rr OAS KO BQTJAI. IO* TBS COW JOINTS, SKRAIMS. BRUISES. BUfe ana msay Other Pains Caused by AccMsiiti It is safe aad sure, dose its work n RWBsnniversal satisfaction. For sale by ( •50c. OurSongllook mailed freeto Address WIZARD OIL COMPANY, rfircct to eoMMMsrs ea all personal or fluaily sue* order, sad give* exact ««4t . ftlng yw suw, «t, lutve Asa wMh. BOOKS frem tlM isuurl will drees expendb ef 1 Our Little Onesaad ttie Ndfsery. Wmmmm The Prince of Msg* sincs for children from 4 to 10 years old. 32 pages each month of original Stories and Poems, Man­ ly illui tic and < ings by the.&Mt llvli^i with iginaldrav- best II artists. Clubs with . Periodicals. Newsdealers sell It, Agents wanted. Send a two cent stamp for specimen copy. One year, Si.SO Singl* Copies, IS eta. Russell Publishing CO, 36 Bromtisld ST, Boston, Mats. UNTIE STUDY. Secure a Business Education BJ llUwt mall, (.'OI.I.KUK or BITSINUM, Buffalo. N. Y. ADIim "ablt Cured. Treatment sent on trial, uriun HUMANSRxMB»ROA,Laffsrette,lnd. ASK YrmrNcw*dealerforTHE CHICAGO LEDOElt, the BEST HTOST VINA in tli« country. Iteud it. P a H|SA on James River.Vn., in Olar-nnol I A, Claremont, Free. t.Va. $5 teSHa da;, (temple* worth $1 JO. 1 Lines not under the home's feet. A<i<lr Brewster's Safety Itein Holder. Holly, Mich. OPIUMS Habit Cared tn M No pay till cured. Ine days . . tiiepbeuH, Lebanon,Ohio. MONTGOMERY WARD AC tST DE STO Waft** Aveww, tibMuM* the of Pare Blood and Oradee berof which were 1m laive importation of, about the middle of erase--come audmethem DMte October. JSkTL and tske pride in showtac. Locatton, SB K/tMB, XLU v PENSIONS ̂ FE?. SOLJITRS <TND Ntwliwt. FLENNERACO. 15 years, Wachlnjrton, D.C. Itabll Cared in t#te rto 5 OOO patients pored '. Ksrsh, Q uincy, TELEGRAPHY I furnished. Write Valentin* X Loarn hen* And tarn gmwi PAY. Situation* Bros., Janesville, Wis. PENSIONS. r A.W. M< OFFICE It Pay, Bounty, . etc. Write for circulars and lasrs. eOOHMICK & SON, Cincinnati. O. AMERICAN WOODS i£o Specimens, veils Cabinet. Polished. In case. $2. The Hsr 213 Pine St., Jersey City, X. J. PATENTS B. 8. * A. P. LACET, Patent Attorneys,Waahinprton, D.C. - Instructions and opinions as to PS testability TOfiK. 49*1.7 years' experience. WKAK from Nervous Debility, Vi­ tal Wasting. fn\, send stamp for Itook •at n«u)C(iit-N. iiiju i-iire :«ou£o«-U ui borne. Dr. J. BENNKRT, Peru, lnd. X>». H. II. GREEN . Specialist* for Thirteen Tl Have treated Dropsy and ita cot: most wonderful success; aae ' ,. entirely harmless He move all symptoms < in elaht to twenty days. pCnre^psAients pronounced hopeless br As fewtqf tfrom the first dose the symptoms rapidly pear, and in ten days at least two-third* of aU 53iLv coma are removed. Some may cry humbug without knowhur s ~ about K. Remember, it does notoostjroa an realise the merits of our tr * " ten days the difficulty ot guise regular, the urinary c leir full duty, sleer ' nearly pone, the stren good, weareoonsti AO VOII ENJOY readme a FIKMT- UV lUU CI.ASM WTOKV PAPER? If so, subscribe for THK < IIIC'AOII I.KIHiKK. only S1 .<MI per year. Your Postmaster is agent for itandwill receive yonr subscription. Dr. Willlvms'Indian File Ointment is a sure cure tor biind.bleedinjt or itching piles. Cure guaranteed. P iceSOc an4 (tl. At drumist'sor MS UFO. CO.. Cievuland, O. PILES mailed by WILLIA: IBEIT8 W8TlllEa1Si58Sg"TIM' Believed and Cured bv Dr. J. A. Shennsn's method. Those who _ _ cannot avail themselves of per­ sonal attendance can have home treatment appliance did curative sent for $10 only. Send stamp for circu­ lar. 294 Hroadway, New York. We WW pro WANT YOU! sprssei ... , i and expenses, or a eomniaskm on salss It preferred. Oooda atapla. or woman needing present as in erery ounty. Salary r» Per momn and eipeni Unra eomniasion on salss if preferred. Got Svn^ one bqya Outfit and particulars Free. profltaole employment to represent u In county. Salary #7» per month and jniask -- 'ANDASD SILVERWARE CO.. yOSTON, MAgI, RUPTURE ICURE Guaranteed by Dr. J. B. " m Arch St. iPiFnf frtftiwf.yo operation or business delay; thousands cured. Con­ sultation free. At StandiShBouse, Detroit.Mich„ 11" 7. Jt Commercial Hotel. Chicago. 8 to last of each month. MEimON THIS PA rat wmm aa--s «• tMSimsn PENSIONS. EVERY. S0UUER JSET1.? S: united States seta a eenstoa loss ef atteyr. or the uee of a Soger. wound or or any pension. A Vive a Send lora for Western Bat 1KB, '--cases thai have neea „ the patient declared unafele to few full history ot «we. Namea^Vow how badly awol|en and where, SM Epilepsy (Fltal nasi If you & ggs*gg itatloea andphages Nstpulet. Elee* Kattn, TOO cersdtnVS. fiCw.d. NasM, bnunas. E[flftyrents^ind UOO*> _ receive Brewinsr." Beer snd Win* at c coat. THE HOME-BREWEs OO Street. Utioa. N. T. Liberal the AKY.T1 O.X.V. wiwwa TO •WH mam"