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\ -s.? *ar<; 'mimm fpist ....: •• : - / ABatehrfKli ,A Chicago Anarchist, declares that he w01 telltht "bm to do 90 in front of » aad^ith • rope around Mi *« . Wfil, it requires iust about uon ra- dooement to make some men tell the {ruth. '.•"THE BRAVEST ABE THE TKRSXBS8T. Mr. Parton says: "If Andrew Jack- •ttn heard a Iamb bleat in the night he would get up and see to it." Oh, well, we know a man* right here in Brooklyn, who is so tender-hearted that if he hears a kitten, even an infirm old kitten, he will get np and lode alter it--with a mm. ^3^ A Bumnxo COMMENTABY. "Doctor, lam going to organise a course of 'athletic training in connection with the theological department Bight, professor, quite right; lay out a good quarter mile course, so that he who reads may run." The only trouble is, that so many of the fellows run "a heap sight" foster than they read. That is because they run by sight and read by ' THE PLACE OJf THE VACUUM. "I must hare rest and quiet for the lext six or eight months, said Scribe^ "or I will go mad. My brain is giving way, and I must go where I can hear nothing, do less, and think less." "Just the thing," said the doctor, "I've got the very place for you. Get a clerk­ ship on the Keeley motor. You'll never leard of till the resurrection.* NOTHING BUT ADVANTAGES. 'The ceiling is very low," said the ranger who was looking at the lodg "Yes." said the landlady, "but it cost you so much less to heat the room." But there is no register, and no place for a stove. "Of course not you couldn't stand it in such a low room." "But it will be cold as Green land." "Nonsense; you couldn't crowd enough cold into such a email room, to feel it. If it was a large room now, you might talk." "But the rent is very high." "That makes up for the A BULL'S EVE, , "Terrible thunder storm last flight," Mad Crossarm; "Blatter, the superin­ tendent's clerk, was struck in the head by lightning and killed. Singular, wasn't it?" "Not at all," replied In­ sulator, "nature abhors a vacuum, you Imowl" ' v r CONVEH8AlTIONAL TONICS. T , , "Why,* asked young Chesttratipi, "Why in the name of common sense, do men wear those two buttons on the back of the coat?" "Because," said the parson, grimly, looking over the top of his Examiner, "there are some people in the world who would never have anything to say if those buttons Weren't there." And straightway there ensued a silence that oould be heard clear around the block. NOT TO BE TAKEN, BUT SHAKEN. •"Doctor, is lager beer a tonic?" No, ':!:;4Ni young man, the doctor did not say it was Teu tonic and order "Zwei;" nothing of the kind. No, George, he did not say it was sub tonic and then put some away under his vest. No, Abner, he did not say it was diatonic, and then run up a score of it, oh, no. He said it was the worst stuff a bilious man could put into his system. This a medico temperance column from Way- back, this State, and it's no joke when we touch on the demon drink. Not for . tt|e D. D. it isn't. WORKING ON THE SAKE OLD PLAN. "•*- "My ancestors," said Mr. Winthrop Oldcommon, the new Indian agent, "came over with the Pilgrim Fathers." "And the Pilgrim Fathers," replied Qld-man-who-cato,hes-on, "came it over my ancestors. It seems that you and I are twins. Shake!" And the new agent was so pleased that he issued 400 rations for 6,000 Indians and charged the Government with 11,000, and an old sachem named "Whip-sawed-on both deals" said the Indians hadn't struck such a falling market since they " sold Manhattan Island for $24. DISTRESSING MI8APPREHEN8IO|I, "Say, Scratcliaway, you know X was telling you last night about the trouble I had with your father about the money lie owed me, and your mother's terrible temper, and some details of your Aunt Margaret's unfortunate marriage, "Yes, I know." "Well, that was only a little confidential gossip, you know. I did not intend it for an interview Scratchaway--Sorry/ old bov; that's what I thought it was. It's all printed ~ is morning. Jewels In the Tower of LoudMu ? stepped into an octagonal apart­ ment, light streaming in from narrow slits in the huge walls, in the center a glass case, upon which on a round, black velvet pyramid of shelves were displayed an array of gold vessels, Vases, cups, scepters, and crowns, sur­ mounted by the crown of her Most Gracious Majesty. When Victoria camo to the throne a lot of old crowns were broken up, and the costliest jewels be­ longing to the kingdom selected to make her crown. The Queen has only worn it once, and that was on the occa­ sion, in Westminster Abbey, when it was placed on her head by the Arch­ bishop of Canterbury. It is sacred to that occasion, and will never be worn agaih. When her Majesty opens Par- Hament the Lord High Executioner, or somebody else, goes before her carrying this crown on its velvet cush­ ion, and it is placed before her as she aits on her throne--becomes,so to speak, a sort of insignia of office. This crown Is worth hundreds of thousands of dol­ lars, It consists of a sort of high cap of purple velvet, with a headband two inches wide sown as thick with diamonds as it is possible to place them. The cap is enclosed by four silver bands crusted with diamonds, meeting at the top in a diamond ball surmounted by a cross, in which is set the stone called the "inestimable sapphire." In the front of the crown is placed a heart-shaped . ruby that was worn by the Black Prince. The Queen's every-day, second-best sort of crown or diadem is merely a baker's cap of velvet, with a band of pearls and diamonds. The crown of the Prince of Wales is of pure gold, with cap, of course, of purple velvet. He has never worn it, but when he goes to the House of Lords it is placed be­ fore as a sign that he is the heir-ap­ parent. The crown with which he will be crowned in good time, and that with which his wife will be crowned Queen Consort, are small, plain, but thickly *e+> with large filbert-like white dia­ monds. There are several sccpters--one of gold, surmounted by a dove resting on ft golden ball. This is the Rod of Equity. When a sovereign is crowned this is placed in his or her left hand, a iuqailar Istaff, the royal scepter, being in her right hand. They really look like two huge gilt confirmation candles of the largest and most expensive kind, swont*--the pointless and UM Swords of end -the sovereign at corona- are also in this case. A most beautiful table ornament is a model in solid gold of the White Tower, with windows of ruby and lights of diamond. It is ft salt-cellar, and is only used by the sovereign at the coronation banquet.- --Ltindon Correspondence New Or­ leans Picayune. Ages of Animals. The ages of different animals are; stated by Moniteur de la Chaise to run as below: Among the long-lived animalB the, elephant holds the first place. At the defeat of the Indian Prince Poues, an elephant was captured, to whom the victor gave the name of Ajax, together with his liberty. A metallic plate was securely fastened to the neck of the creature, with the date of his capture and liberation deeply engraved upon it, and he was recaptured 354 years after­ ward. According to William Lennox, the naturalist, the bear lives 20 years, and the wolf and the dog often attain to the same age. The fox lives to 14 or 15. Lions five to a great age, over 60. The average of the cat is 14, and the squirrel and European hares 7 or 8 years. Hogs are quoted that 30 years, while the rhinoceros does not live beyond 20. The average age of a horse is be­ tween 20 and 25, though one is quoted as having lived to be 62. The camel has been known to reach 100, and the stag (red deer) 36 years. The average age of sheep is 10 years, and of bovines 15. Among birds the swan lives longest, reaching to 300 years. Malleston, an English author, has the skeleton of ft swan that lived 290. _ Kelener, in his natural history, men­ tions having seen several very aged falcons, among them one that was 162 years old. The same author adds that the longevity of the vultures, of crows, and eagles is very extraordinary; that in 1819 a sea eagle died which had been captured in 1715, thus living 104 years. The Imperial Menagerie at Vienna lost in 1824 a white-headed vulture which had been captured in 1706, having thus lived in captivity 118 years. In the island of Lalandc, Denmark, a royal eagle was captured in 1881. It had been captured in 1792 and imme­ diately liberated with a ring bearing the date on its leg. Parrots live a century, and many aquatic birds survive several genera­ tions of the human race. In March, 1882, a crow was killed near Metz which was hatched at Con- tray in 1782. The magpie will live from 20 to 25 {'ears in captivity, and probably much onger at liberty. The years of a domestic cock are 15; of a turkey, 16; the pheasant, 15; pigeons, 10,' and the small singing birds from 8 to 18 years. Home-bred canaries may live from 12 to 15 years, but to a greater age in the Canary Islands. The longevity of fishes is something wonderful, Cuvier, that great authority, assigning 1,000 years to the whale. Pike and carp, as ia well known, at­ tain to a vast age. In 1230 a pike was taken in Lake Bakinget and released with a gold ring bearing the date; it was retaken in 1492, in the reign of Frederick IL The seal will live a cen­ tury, and a tortoise has been known to reach 107 years. Serpents also attain to a great age. Memory in His Fingers. ' " One of the most remarkable instances of a retentive memory known is that of William Wilhite, colored, a resident of' the county poor-house. Bill is blind and has been since boyhood, caused by the enlargement of the forehead, al­ most covering up his eyes. He is bet­ ter known as Blind Bill, and makes his semi-annual visit to Lexington to see the town. He can, without a single mistake, tell each and every one who has lived at- the poor-house during his long term there, covering more than twelve years. Their names, the date of their arrival, giving the day of the month and year. He can tell you the number of deaths that have occurred, the cause, also the date and day of death. He knows the streets of Lex­ ington--and many of them are high, rough, and have a number of steps and terraces--better than many who have lived here longer, and with his long cane needs no other guide to go and come when he pleases. But the most remarkable thing about Bill is his sense of touch. He can tell every one who has lived here any length of time by taking hold of their hand in his anil feeling for the various marks of his dif­ ferent acquaintances. He recognizes some by a wart, a mole, or a scar, or perhaps some enlargement of the finger joint. Mr. Frank Mattox, a citizen of the county, who lives twenty miles in one direction from town and Blind Bill se**en in the other, happened to meet him. Said Mr. Mattox to some one standing by: "Bill has not felt of my hand in ten years. I wonder if he will know me now ?" "Yes, see," said many. Bill was directed to him, and, taking hold of his hand, he began feeling it all over, and said he: "I know who that is. That's Mr. Frank Mattox." -- Atlanta Constitu- tipn. 1 -L - • Mixed Hospitality. A certain worthy clergyman in the North, who was as much given to hospi­ tality as his good wife was the other way, was called upon one afternoon by a reverend gentleman. As they had been fellow-students together, arid had passed their examination before the same presbytery, they had, of course, much to talk about. One tumbler, therefore, followed another, and each tumbler brought along with it some­ thing new to discuss, until the time ar­ rived for the stranger to mount and proceed on his way. This, however, the kind host wouldn't listen to. His heart was warmed and fully awake to the pleasurable feelings of sociality, and in spite of all the nods and winks and dark looks of his wife he insisted that his friend should remain for the night. This arrangement being effected,supper made its appearance, and was, as usual, followed by another tumbler by way of a "night-cap." Before retiring, the good dame was asked by her husband to bring in the family Bible. She started on this duty, and while gone the guest took off his shoes, opened the room door, and placed them out in the passageway. While stooping for this purpose, with his head through the door, the good wife returned, and mis­ taking the bald head of his reverence for that of her husband, she raised the sacred volume and brought it down ith a hearty rap and a matrimonial whisper: "There !that's for garin' him I t is reported that at Dresden the ex­ periment has beep tried of placing a advantages claimed for the metal are that, bang non-oorrodible, it will last longer than iron, and will also keep bright at the points, which latter is very essential to the efficiency of rods as conductors of electricity. A patent for an improved hot-air furnace consists of a shell of metal plates, one or more transverse air-heat- ing plates and a hot-air cap or dome. Both the shell and the trans­ verse plates are constructed so as to ^ allow the circulation of the air to be heated, and are ar­ ranged to discharge the same into the dome. The use of naphthalene as a wood preservative is largely practised in Scotland, the action of the naphthalene being to destroy all albuminoid com­ pounds in the wood, leaving it dry and elean to handle, and with only a faint aromatic smell. The naphthalene is melted in a vessel capable of being tightly sealed, and the wood is laid in it until experience shows that the satu­ ration is complete. The temperature at which timber is treated is kept as low as possible, so es not to injure the fiber. A German writer recommends the use of paraffine in the place of corks or other stoppers for the hermetical seal­ ing of bottles containing liquids which have a tendency to ferment or other­ wise deteriorate by coming in contact with the air. This, he says, is particu­ larly applicable to saccharine juices of all kinds. These are poured while hot into perfectly dry bottles, which are filled nearly tq the lip; they are then allowed to stand and rest until cold,* during which time all air bubbles will, rise to the surface; finally a small quan­ tity of melted paraffine is poured over the top, when it forms a firm, solid coat on cooling, about the tenth an inch thick. Such a paraffine stopper has the advantage of being easily re­ movable when the contents of the bot­ tle are required for use, and the par­ affine can be collected and used again. The principal material used in tho manufacture of paper used in Tonkin is the paper tree, which grows in abun­ dance on the mountains in the environs of Sontay. The dried bark is macer­ ated and then rubbed up in mortars, so as to reduce it to a fine pulp, the latter being extended with a certain quantity of water, in order to form a clear paste, which is sized with an infusion made from the shavings of the gomao tree. The paper is manufactured sheet by sheet, by means of delicate bamboo screens, which the operators alternately dip into the fiaste and take out there­ with a thin sheet of paper, which is de­ posited upon a board. At the end o! the day these sheets are put into a press in order to extract the moisture from them, and are then dried by placing them, one by one, npon a hot masonry wall, after which they are put up in packages and trimmed. Each operative makes a thousand sheets a day. The thickness of the paper depends upon the consistency of the paste, and at one establishment as many as 80,000 sheets are capable of being produced daily. In connection with the sewerage sys* tern of Boston a novel method was tried for obtaining the height of test water in small test pipes driven into the ground so as to test the effect oi pumping upon the height of the ground water. About twenty small pipes were driven into the ground below the sur­ face of the soil water, and measure­ ments taken twice a day of the height of water standing in these tubes. The elevation of the top of each pipe being accurately ascertained, the exact dis­ tance to the water surface in the pipe was obtained as follows: To the ring of an ordinary metallic tape a small lead plumb was attached by a wire hook; the top of this plumb was flat, and in a hole to one side of its center was forced a cork, and in this cork a needle was fixed upright, eye down, so that its point was just on a line with the bottom of the tape ring. A small bit of me­ tallic potassium was put on the needle­ point and the tape lowered into the pipe. The instant the potassium touched the water it ignited explosively, and the flash and sound both gave the exact moment for reading on the tape the required depth of the water line. A Mice Calculation. She was a young woman in Washing­ ton for the season, and was very fond of narrating her conquests and speak­ ing of her powers over men. He was a bachelor with a heart of stone and a cheek of cast-iron. They were talking of love and matrimony and cognate subjects. "I've been engaged six weeks, Mr. X.," she said, with refresh­ ing candor, in view of the fact that the announcement had appeared in the so­ ciety news the next day after the pro­ posal. "Ah?" he said, with a rosebud smile wreathed around an interrogation point; "how charming." "Delightful, Mr. X.," she continued, radiantly; "he was an old friend of our family, and was so persistent; how long do you think I kept the poor, dear fel­ low waiting for his answer?" and she giggled a real swell giggle. "Um--um," he cogitated, as if calcu­ lating an equation of time between a sun-dial and a Waterbury watch ; "um-- well, 1 should say about a minute and a half, possibly two minutes." There was an abrupt terminal ion to the con­ versation, and the brute was left alone in the alcove where they had been talking.--Washing torn Critic. I The Badly Mixed Heathen. Disheartened missionary, returning to his field after years of absence: "Oh, unhappy man, you have lapsed into error and darkness and paganism again!" Chief heathen apologetically: "Well, you see, after you went away, a Cath­ olic missionary came along and told us the bad place was full of Methodists, and so he scared us into his communion; then he went away and a Presbyterian came along and waked us up on Regen­ eration, Adoption, and Election and we joined his church; then an Episcopalian came and we burned our Westminsters and stocked up on prayer-books; then he left and a Baptist landed and walked us into the water and baptized us right, and we'd just got settled when a New Congregationalist came over and told us that so long as we were heathen we had a dead sure thing of going to heaven; but if we became Christians v-0 had to walk mighty straight or go to the everlasting bonfire. So we ate him up, burned our bibles and resumed 1 usiness at the old stand. Boys, put 1 he parson in the cage and fat him up for Thanksgiving day."--Bob Burdette. "May I ride behind you?" asked a tramp • of a gentleman who was passing him on horseback. "Yes; but not on the same horse," was the reply. A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD girl in a pan of milk at Howe drowned How long ssay ft human being live in perfect possession of his facilities amf powers for good or evil? The question Is important to ail. Conceive a statesman with ft despotic power of influencing men's wills who should last as long is Old Pan 1 Think of a beauty who might eclipse the maidens of each fresh season, and whose hesternae ro.<a; should outglow their fresh love­ liness, as long as Ninon de l'Enclos was a toast, or Marion Delorme, to whom Balzac assigns 130 years! His­ tory, social or political, would be al­ tered; the whole progress of humanity might be advanced for Hons or re­ tarded by one man, who varied from the kindly race of men and lived twice as long as his oldest neighbor. If we may believe a curious old French book, "History of Persons Who Have Lived for many Ages, and Grown Young Again" (Paris, 171(5), this fancy is not wholly absurd or impossible. All Europe expects great changes from the death of Prince Bismarck, of Yon Moltke, of the Emperor. How would all Europo look if they retained their vigor till, say, 1950? Before the deluge such lives would have seemed prema­ turely cut short at 150. And since the deluge? Hereon our French author enlightens us with learning from Pliny, Coraaro, and Phlegon of Trails. Thus Fohi, the founder of the Chinese Em­ pire, reigned 115 years, and so did Apaphus of Thebes Egyptian, but he, surely, was the son of Zeus! Anti- ochus Epiphanes died at 149! A king of the Ommaniana lived to 115, but that was in Arabia Felix. Tactitus gives 175 years to Tuisco, a German prince. Daddon, an niyrian noble, lived for 500 years, according to Alex­ ander Cornelius. Anacreon gives Cinyras of Cyprus 100 years, and Ar- ganthonius, a Spaniard, saw 150 sum­ mers. According to Bonfinius, Attila was 124 when he died of the conse­ quences of a revel on the night of his marriage--his seoond marriage. How long had he lamented his first consort? Epimenides was 157 (others say 229) at his regretted de­ cease, At 100 Eupliranor gave up taking private pupils. Sophocles perished by an accident at 130. The Apocrypha mentions the circumstance that Mattathias died by misadventure at 146. The Countess of Arundel < temp. Charles I.) employed a Mrs. Gamp of 123. Thus, even ixi its natural way, we need never despair of any man attain­ ing say, 130, a pleasant thought in the case of really great men, whose lives are useful to their conntry. Why, we might have Cromwell with us yet I-- Longman's Magazine. Europe's Smallest Slate. The smallest state in Europe--be­ side which the principality of Monaco and the republics of Andorra and San Marino appear "great powers"--is Moresnet, which is situated between Verviers and Aix-la-Chapelle, upon the confines of Belgium and Germany, in a fertile valley watered by a river named La Gueule, which runs into a lake upon the shores of which is an ancient donjon, dating from the time of Charle­ magne. The reason assigned for the independence of this district is that the district of Moresnet, which is only about four square miles in extent, and has a population of 2,000, possesses some very rich zinc mines, and that, as after the battle of Waterloo, Belgium and Prussia could not agree as to which of the two should have possession of these, and as neither would give wayt> the district was by mutual consent made independent. -^At that time the district was very poor, and there were not more than fifty dilapidated cottages and huts in it, whereas now there are 800 houses, end the mine yields a handsome return, so thwt some time ago it was thought that Germany and B. lgium would agree to swallow it up between them. But so far the inde­ pendence of Moresnet has remained un­ impaired, though Germany and Bel­ gium each has a delegate living in the district, whose duty it is to settle any dispute which may arise. The adm'n- istration of the district is intrusted to a burgomaster, who is selected by the delegates of the two governments, and who himself se'ects ten municipal coun­ cilors. There is no elected assembly in Moresnet, and consequently no divis­ ion into "parties," while the inhabitants are exempt from military Bervice, and pay only five shillings per head taxa­ tion. The total revenue of the repub­ lic is rather under £500, and this suf­ fices to cover all the expenditure, in­ cluding the school of the district and the "army," which latter force consists of one soldier, who acts as gendarme and policeman as well. This soldier is often to be seen enjoying a game of chess or billiards with the burgomaster at the beer garden on the shores of the lake, which enjoys the style and title of Casino. The question as to the rela­ tions between church and state does not give any trouble at Moresnet, as the mining company pays tho stipend of the priest, and the only drawback to the complete satisfaction of IS! or- isnet and tiie inhabitants is that they are not allowed to have postage stamps of their own.--Paris American Regis­ ter. Pay of a Cloak Model. That all depends on their shape, its symmetry and adaptability to the busi­ ness. The woman who is of good height, weighs about 150 pounds, has a bust measure of thirty-six inches or a little over, and is perfect in form re­ ceives $15 a week to stand up from 9 o'clock in the morning until 6 in the afternoon trying on cloaks. She is re­ ceiving the highest price, and is the Jtar model. She is always in demand, ftnd has to do more, perhaps, than the ethers. Ten dollars is about the aver­ age price for cloak models. Some be­ long to the fitting and others to the cutting department, and of course the prices vary. Eight dollars a week is a fair price, and few get under that per week. --New York Mail and Express. Oatmeal for the Complexion. It would not be easy to find hand­ somer women anywhere than the oat­ meal eaters of Edinburgh, and the only ladies that equal them in roseate health and classic beauty of figure, so far as I have observed, are found in the interior districts of Ireland. Oatmeal would seem to have something to do with it, and every one may remember the re- gly of the Scotchman to the taunt of r. Johnson that the horses in En­ gland ate the same kind of meal as tho men in Scotland. "Ah !* said Scotchie, "but such horses and such men!"-- Edinburgh letter. How sweet a morsel to the depraved human taste is slander! Men and women alike roll it about on their tongue, smack their lips over it, sup with their neighbors on it, and revel at all times in the intoxication of its all- destroying poison. Shame to the hu­ man heart that can find pleasure in the contemplation of another being's sorrow, or dwell with delight upon the torture of another being's woo. Whan Tea vfait« kav® New York CMy, save baggage, expneenge, and #3 carriage hire, and stopatthe finp* Vaflma Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot 013 rooms, fitted np at a oast of one million and dollars, 91 glan. Elevator. European ?d with the wards per day. xstauraat supplied Horse cars, stages, and elevated rail­ road to all depots. Families can lire batter for lees money at the Grand Union Hotal than at Say other first-dam hotel in Um city. The Story of a Foundling. A romantic story of a foundling conies frofn Parma. At the charitable insti­ tution there devoted to the care and ed­ ucation of these social waifs was one who had been baptized Hercules Li- cellL In the same hospital was an em­ ploye namfed Carpi, an industrious workman and a kind-hearted man. The latter took a great fancy to the little Hercules, and through much cogitation on the subject at last convinced himself that the nameless ohild was of aristo­ cratic birth and the heir of some dis­ tinguished family. Years ran by, and Hercules performed the prescribed mil­ itary duty, while his self-constituted guardian went about questioning ser­ vants, nurses, and mid wives--any one, in fact, who was likely to give him in­ formation. The day at length came when he found himself in possession of proofs sufficient to establish the identi­ ty of his young client. He now knew that Hercules was the son of a "lady" and "gentleman" who had been lawful­ ly married, and took his case into court. There the struggle began, and it was a long and terrible one. The unfortunate youth was endeavoring to compel his father to recognize him and reveal the name of his mother. At last a decision was given, and Hercules was declared to be the legitimate son of the Marquis Clio Calcagnini-Estense mid the Mar­ quise Christine Waldman. The Mar­ quis, who, perhaps, had reasons for suspecting his wife's fidelity, had, out of revenge, caused the child to disap- Eear soon after its birth, and the un-appy mother had died while vainly begging to be allowed to see her child. lappy mother had died while vainly sggin -Cor. New York Graphic. The Only Way to Conquer Dyspepsia. It is perfectly preposterous to introduce pep­ sin and other artificial solvents into the stomaoh, in the expoctat on that they will as­ sist digestion by acting on the food itself. They will not. Nor is it possible thus to OYercome dyspepsia. The only way to conquer that dis­ order. and prevent the numerous diseases and disabilities which it assuredly provokes, is to renew the aotivity of gastrie action by strengthening the stomach. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters eradicates the most inveterate forms of indigestion by restoring vitality to the alimen­ tary organs, and those which are tributary to them. The liver, the bowels, the kidneys, and tho nerves, no lrss than tho stomach, experi­ ence the invigorative effects of that standard tonic, which possesses alterative properties that greatly enhance its beneficial influence, and give a permanence to its effects which ttiey would not otherwise possess. Austrian Student Life. The students of the Vienna Universi­ ty, celebrated rather for their love of an occassional fight and their predilec­ tion for cliques than for their sym­ pathy with quiet study and "brotherly love," are endeavoring to bring about "a reform. They have published on the blackboard of the university an "open letter," in which an appeal is made by "a small circle of colleagues who have become ac juainted with each other in the lecture-room, the laboratory, or at the dissecting table," inviting all stu­ dents to help in bringing about a re­ form of student life at Vienna. "Have we* united student life?" the letter asks. "Are we all alike before science, which belongs to all? Unfortunately we have to answer no, we are not. Wo are separated by national aspirations and by religious prejudices; our stu­ dent organization consists of the broken parts of what was once a beau­ tiful, perfect vessel. * * • Oar conventicles serve only the cult of Bacchus, and not infrequently the treatment of things with which the ideal youth should have nothing to do." The committee intends to make prac­ tical proposals as to the reform of stu­ dent life at meetings, which will be or­ ganized by the energetic party of re­ formers, who, however, seem to have forgotten the well-known fact, proved on innumerable occasions, that what is an Austrian's meat is almost always a Czech's poison. And the latter are very numerous at the Vienna Uni­ versity. A prominent farmer of Bowling Green, Howard County, Md., Mr. J. T. liidgely, said his four children were sick with sore throats and coughs at tho same time, lied Star Cough Cure cured them in a week. No opiates. How to Open Oysters. "Talk of opening oysters," said Old Hurricane, "why, nothing is easier, if you only know how." "And how's how?" inquired Star­ light. "Scotch snuflT," answered Old Hur­ ricane, sententiously; "Scotch snuff, my boy. Bring a little of it ever so near their noses and they'll sneeze their lids off.- "I know a gentleman," observed Meister Karl, "who has a better plan than that. He spreads the oysters in a circle, seats himself in the center, and begins spinning a yarn. Some­ times it's an adventure in Mexico, some­ times a legend of his loves, sometimes a marvelous stock operation in Wall street As he proceeds the 'natives' get interested; one by one they gape with astonishment at the tremendous and direful whoppers which are poured forth. Then, as they open their mouths my friend whips 'em out, peppers 'em and swallows 'em." "That'll do," said Starlight, with a long sigh; "I wish we had a bushel of 'em here now--they'd open easy!"-- The Argonaut ; Baby falls and bnmpe its head, Baby bawls, they think if s dead, Ifamina gets bit. Jacobs Oil, Bubs the baby; stops turmoil. He Hay Get It AIL "So you want my daughter?" queried the Chicago capitalist, as the young man finished his address ftnd stood with folded arms. "I do." "Ethel is used to lnxnrv, you know?" "Yes, sir; and she shall have all that heart can wish." "But you are a poor yonng man, just getting a start in Dakota." "Ami? I guess not. Our county has issued bonds to the amount of $250,000 for interal improvements. I am county treasurer and let all con­ tracts." " l ake her, William, and remember that integrity ia the keynote to suo- iMIl'l I)Mk "What fumitw* <nhb waA room, as ataader wooiaa'aftMt* MksOiom Eliot Not any, we m htMnr to huww* provided the glow of haattti WSWKS LOA­ der expression. Tiie uxfcms. I* face oftha consumptive, orthe evideat 1 lnga of the dyspeptic, indoos fssiiwgs of sor- P*rt and aaoipal na to toll them of Dr. Pierce's "OaUbn Kedical Dis­ covery- the sovereign ramedy for eoununp- tion and other diseases of the reeniratarr sva- tem as weU aa dyspepeia and etfteTdiMtro troubles. Sold everywhere. The man Who ate bis dinner with tfi* fork of a river has been trying to spin a mountain top. Best Goods Are Pat in Smallest Parcels. The old proverb is oertainiv true ia the rani of l .I?r- Pwrce's "Pleasant I'iirgativo Pellets," which are little, sugar-wrappei parcels, scarce­ ly larger than mustard seeds, M much cathartic power as ia done np ia the Mg- eest, most repnlaive-looking pdL Ualike tbe big pills, however, they are mUd and pleasant in their operation--do not produoe griping pains, nor reader the bowels oosttve after ""j When a fellow rushes from a house into the street in a towering passion, it is an out-rage. A Cough, Cold, or Sore Throat should not be neglected Bbown's BbohckuIi Taocni *T® * simple remedy, and give prompt relief. sS eta. a box. f The elements that go to make up a mad dog axe a tin can, a string, and a small boy. "BOUGH ON RATS" Cleats out rata, mice, reaches, flies, aataubsA* bugs, beetles, insects, skunks, jaek rabbita. sparrows, gophers. 15c. At druggist*. "KOVGH ON CORNS." Ask ter Wells' "Rough on Corns." Quick raUeC, complete our* Corns, warts, bunions, lffn " 1 . "ROUGH ON ITCH." "Beagh en Itch" cures skin humors, eruptions, efcter, salt rheum, frosted feel, ivy poison, barber's itch. BOo j«e, ring worm, i Mains, itch. "ROUGH ON CATARRH" Corrects offensive odors at once. Complete erne of worst chronic cases; alsd unequaled as gazgle for diphtheria, son throat,, foul breath. Sue. . A Great Offer. No matter in what part yon live, you had bettor write to Hallett & Co., Portland, Maine, without daisy; they will send you frea information about work that you can do and live at home, at a profit of from |5 to $25 and upwards daily. A number have earned over #50 in a day. Both sexes. All ages. You are started in business frea Capital not need­ ed. Every worker who takes hold at onee is absolutely sure of a snug little forteaa Now is tho time. "ROUGH ON WUCS." Why suffer Piles T Immediate relief and oons- plete curs guaranteed. Ask tor "Bough on Piles." Burs cure for Itching, protruding, bleeding, oar any form of piles. Sue. At druggists or "vlfl ' SKINNY MEN. Wells' "Health Renewer" restores health sad cures dyspepsia, impotence, nervous do* bility. Par weak men, delicate women. 11, WILIS' HAIR BALSAM. If gray, restores to original color. An elegant dressing, softens aud beautifies. No oil nor grease. A tonic restorative. Stops hair oomiug out; strengthens, oleanses, heals scalp. 50c. Indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostra­ tion, and all forms of general debility re­ lieved by taking Mensman's Peptonized Beef Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious properties. It contains blood-makiqg, force-generating, and life-sus­ taining properties; is invaluable in all en­ feebled conditions, whether the result of" ex­ haustion, nervous prostration, overwork, or acute disease; particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hasard A Co., proprietors, New York. Dyspepsia pees not'gst well of itself; it requires eaiafnl, perslitent attention and a remedy that will assist nature to throw off the cauies and tone np the digestive organs till they perform their duties willingly. Among the agonies experienced by the dyspeptic, are distres* before or after e&Mng, less of appetite, irregularities of the bowels, wind or gas and pain in the stomach, heart-bom, soar stomach, etc., causing mental depression, nervosa irritability and sleeplessness. If you are dis­ couraged be of good cheer and try Hood's Bar- sapsrilla. It has eared hundreds; it will cure yon. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. $1; six for 9& Male only by C. I. HOOD A CO., Lowell, Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar *0 t H E CHEAPEST AND EST OICINE FOB FAMILY DBS IN THE WORLD! CURES ALL PAINS Internal or External. AOe m Bottle. SOU) IT BRCttOMXfl. OR. RAD WAYS PILLS For the cure of nil diitnrrte s of the 8t<<iD«rh, liver. Bowels, Kidneys, Blmifif r, Kervvufl Dixcatxe*, Lom or CokUvi iip-h, iiulitfohtion. lHlioue- nett!". Fever, inflammation ot the Bcwi 1*. Files, and all derangements of the lntcrii.il visrtr*. Purely vegetable, containing no mercury, Minerals, or del*- terioue rinw*. Vrue, 5J5 cents per box. Sold by all druggist*. DYSPEPSIA! DR. RADWAVS PILLS store strength to the stomach and enable it t" perform ite functions. The vymutomsuf Dyspepsia disappear, and with tnem the liability of tlie system to contract diaeasFS. II A SARSAPARILLIAN RESOLVENT, A pnfitlve cure for Scrofula and all Bloed ssd Skla U.eeases, RAniVAY A CO.. N. Y. UNRIVALED ORGANS On the K.AST PAYMENT aystem, from S3.U per month up. 100 styles. to Send for Oat alogue with full particulars, mailed free. UPRIGHT PIANOS. Constructed on the new method of stringing, on 4 ilar terms. Send for descriptive Catalogue. MASON A HAMLIN ORGAN AND PIANO CO. Boston, New York, Chicago. Oa* Agent (Merrhant only> wan»»d In rowafW My retail sales of your "Tansill's Pu ch" 5-cent cigar for last vear 08S2) wt re 1SJ.' 00. Tliis year I expect to sell St least 250,000 of tl'i< iiisrtv pt.yimr brand. CHAS. S. FKOWITT, Druggist. Denver, Ool. Address R. W. TAHSILL & CO., Ghleage. PATENT FOB SAI.K. I'UE ADAMS' IN CO, Fateat 8o'icitt>rs Miuicte. iudiuia. Street Daily Nevap. cess. Delicate diseases of either sex, however induced, radically cared. Address, with 10 cents in stamps for book, World's Dispen-ary Medical Association, Buffalo. N. Y. "SWANS sing before they die." have to, if they stag at all. They Btuir to immediate, and a cure rare. Piso's Remedy for Catarrh. 80 oents. PATENTS laveatore 1 SS&u&tweefe frM. 1ft Jf--l' up«ri«ir». FI.ENXKR * CO, A*, torstyi, Wellington. D. C. MliISi day. K>mpls» worth f im rasa Vm fines not under the horse's feet. Aitdrsaa Brewster's Safety Bein Holder. Molly, Mich. OPIUMS ilne Hai)St Care* la lO . days . Stephen , pay till eared. , Lebaaaa.Obte. PATENTS i®5: i to patentability fhKK _ 1.ACB*. fstrnt Washington. D.C. jis and opinions 17 years' experience. VIA VAII ENJOY reading a FIRST. IJV TvU 1'I.AMX STOKV 1'APKKf rill?« IIICAGO Your Postmaster is agent CHICAGO LEIHiClt. .AO per year. Your Postmaster is sgent for it KiuiVilrteoeive your MiWription If so, subscribe for T oaly ® l^l» per year MENS KAK from Nervous Debility, VI-Wasting. *«•., send stamp for Boob Remedies, and cure yonrself at home. Dr. J. Renkert. Fere. Ind. Dr. Frszier's M*r!c Ointment will iles, btaakhesds ar " eckle t.lt heals cuts.bnrn»,- lu^-Yonna LadiesB SruggSFs ortnaSed'by WMS^MKi.Oo;. (3evelsad.O. remove pimples, blaokhesds and " t. Ithea lips, snd cold sores. Price 50 cents. IIIIICBTICCDC OTO0«sn,wMw«>itowtam!na Hll VCIII IwUlv Ms paper.« obtain sstunatss en advertising apsce when in Chicago. <mH Snd it on file St 45 t*49 Randolph St, a ||BB £TM!M£ thsAfttriMnf IslllKP m I HlllWl VMCINIA LAND ACOMT. Cheap Farms. Splendid ciisaate. tsrs. UooA manst Oood markets. ORIFFIH * JXRVIg, WE WANT YOU! tfiTJSS? Believed snd Cored by Dr. 1, Sherman's method. ' cannot avail themselves of par­ son*! attendance can have home treatment t and enrstive sent for $10 only. Send stamp for oirovt- lar. 894 Broadway, New York. PERCHERON HORSES. 200 All Acea, both IM STOCK. soo to 400 imrovnm sm France, all isuotSsdwHT crcheroaBtod ] ^A'^Sdor-n-etof thsft^*G» Send for lUO-pscs Catalogue, llhisHallom S-*"' liTwT DUNN A Wayna, DuPas* Co.* tl •Wizard-0m Marvelous Cuias hava 1 nssaid by thousands o( TU WOHDMlTtt, Hamlirs xt *as ho attirax. so* ma anu or RHEUMATISM, NEURAIGIAJOOTHACHE. HEADACHE, CATAMMl CROUP, SORE LAME BACK, COWTMCJEB &0RDS JOINTS, STRAINS, BRUISES. BULn And Many Other Paine Caned by Accident or It is nite and earn, doee ite work QBranrtM gives nnivvraal satisfaction. ForsalebydraaaiMa Price. 50c. OurSoncBook mailed free toevscT&ody. Address WIZARD OIL COMPANY, CHICAGO. OLD SOLDIER(ffi!r.Tj and KXrKUIKmKs for each issue of «r« CHICAGO JUKOUBK. One whole ps«e A . OOS Wliol# voted uVWar Sketchea every week, sad Say I -- true to life. Bead them. Ton esaaot fail to auuss ciate them, for they are furnished by "JOHNSI* and "YANK," sad (rive Interesting experiences ia the Union and Confederate anniesTSendtwo letter stamps for a sample copy ot the beat FiaHyttoiy aatS'iiT"' "S® G The OLDEST MEDICINE in the WORLD is | probably FIR. Isaac Tbaiai •lebrated Eys WORLD is •mom'S O watelf Tim article ia a carefully prepared phyaieisa's na smption, and has Wen ia constant ua* for nearly a centurv, and notwithstanding the man? otherprapsr- ations that have twen introduced into the market. Ha sale of tUis article is constantly increasing. If ttte d£ reetions are followed it will never fail. We parth'B* Isriv iuvite the Attention of phviti.'i t:i« to Its Mrita Mn L. Thompson, Hot** U.v Co., TROY, S. X. THE CHICAGO LEDGER FOR IKT. Why pay S3 m year for a story paper, wfesa ye* esn obtain one eqttslly go?d fer S1.50? THE CHICAGO I.KIHiKIt is aa efeM-pMe; Sheet, six staa.lsrd columns to the pegs, profussfer Illustrated, printed on a flue quality of cakadereA paper, cut. pasted and folded, and gives each waSfe more original matter than do the S3 story pap--a. THE CHICAGO LKIttiKR for 18S7 Drssentsta the public a list of attractions equsl to those Ktvaa tr sny of the tSpubUcatiooa. Its oorps of cakMM hut hmu erectly streagthened, aad s number of aev features are added, making THE I.EOUBK the best, and in fart the oaly, flrst-clasa story paper veh> liehed in the West. Head what each number of THE LGUfilK effll present to its subscribers, during the coming yaar. for the nominal price of S1.SO. Installments cd I four to six Serial Stories; one pa*.-e of Wsr 1 written by those who were there, with at least too portraits of prominent participants in the nneWifc one on each side; articles from the pens ot MLB. W. THOMAS, of the People's Otnrch, Chicago, REV. DAVID SWUM; Woman's Progress, oobAmIM by MISS ANNIE E. MYEHS; oae of the BsiaanS letter*, by WILL P. HART; a Sermon by BB. V. DkWITT TALMAC.E,of Brooklyn: seolasaaOf swers to Correspondsnts. and Complete StodML Poetry, Humorous Paragraphs and Ooilcqolaa Si sufficient number to fill the large sheet. TEEMS .or Bvsscurao*. One year, payable in advance Bghtfnoiiths, " " Si* " " " " jm '..SJB THE I.ROCRR is for wlaby Kewstiealsra. Boat marten and Subacriptiea Ageata throughout the ; United States. . , jm A sample copy will be ssaUadFKESta soy panoa aeading name and address to Ike r r Hlllll ia t % All eommunications sheuM be addressed te ' $ IBS CHXCAM LXDOn. >71 Fraaklia Street, Chlea«e> HL *iS H OW TO M Bre cost. Street. AIUS OOOD BEES AT BOMB. L Ofty cents and receive aiawts treatise «a' eet. Utica. N. T. UberaTtoraas to aeeate. AIM IWUMM9! CMd C.H.B. WK1T1NO TO.