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cflewg fUmriUalrt 1. VAN SLYKE, EMerand PeMMicr. HENRY, ILLINOIS. " A MAN at Hamilton, O., who talks in !, ' Iris sleep, has applied to the courts for >it ipin injunction to restrain his wife from ^'pumping" him "and thns securing in- - ^ formation which leads her to tear liand- i , „ fuls of hair'from his head and leave the tnarks of finger-nails on his face." He should put a stopper on his jaw or sleep jdone. - ' ^ SENATOR-ELECT FABWELL, of Illinois, 4 looks to be nnder 50 years old. There * - is a frown on his face, but it is a frown , caused by close application to work not the frown of ill-nature. His nose ... |s by no means straight. His full beard, |M>ise of head, and hang of shoulders vjare suggestive of similar features in Garfield. Indeed, he looks like Gar­ field looked. SENATOB-ELECT DAVIS, of Minnesota, "does not show well in a photograph. That is to say, he doesn't look Senar . torial. He is young-looking, as if nnder .35; his little mustache hangs down " . forming an inverted Y,and on the lower ti * [portion of his face is a sourish expres- •; " ision as though he had just smelt some- .< thing bad. But his forehead is fine and his nose has a straight bridge. DOM PEDRO, the elephant who died of rheumatism in the Philadelpliia zo • ological gardens the other day, was a mean beast, and as cunning as mean During his latter days it was very diffi cult to give him medicine. So the ruse was adopted of filling a soooped-out apple with the remedies and feeding it with a dozen or more sound ones. The dodge worked for awhile, but Dom soon found it out, and after that each apple was carefully examined, and the decep tive one always thrown out. THE office of Oil Inspector ia a valu­ able one in Minnesota. He gets 25 cents a barrel for inspecting oil. In 1886 there were 97,796 barrels of oil in­ spected, the fees of which, at 25 cents per barrel, amounting to $24,449. Of this from $7,000 to $8,000 may be de- . ducted for deputies' salaries, leaving the remainder to line the pockets of the inspector. Only 60 barrels were re­ jected--the oil of the Pennsylvania Oil Company, which registered 102 degrees. During the fiscal year ending July 1, 1885, there were 81,342 barrels in spected, of which only 63 were rejected The inspectors'fees amounted to $20, 385.50. " : THE gentleman with the "liar card will please step forward and peruse the following from the Tacoma (Oregon) Ledge:': "A man named Jordin while walking along the Pupallup railroad hearing a train coming behind, turned quickly around, falling across the track, which was on an embankment. Half of his body lay outside of the rails, and in an instant he would have been cut in two, but by a quick move he threw his heels in the air, his head and shoulders lying against the embank­ ment. When the train had passed he got up and found that the wheels of the cars had taken the seat of his breeches oat as artistically as a jour neyman tailor could have done. After feeling of his limbs and finding them whole, he got up and walked home. A FARMER sat reading in an Albany restaurant and commented on an item in a Connecticut papef in reference to the intelligence of a dog, which could tell the date on a newspaper: "I had •a dog," said he, "a common, long, yeller dog, and I called him Zeke. He "knew more than a grand juryman on his second term. He would just loaf around and think. I brought home some canned sausage meat and I didn't like it, and so I put it on a plate for Zeke. Well he took that sausage out in the garden and buried it. Regular grave. Nothing strange in that, you say? Wait. He went back to the house, jumped upon the table, grabbed a big bouquet, and went back and laid it on the grave, and he was only a long, yeller dog." This pleasant story, from the Albany Journal. LATELY therta burst at Thionville, hear Metz, an old shelf, preserved from the year 1870, which killed a boy play ing near. The authorities, therefore, made a search for any shells kept as memorials, and found more than hundred. Their possessors are mostly unaware of the danger incurred keeping these unexploded shells, gath ered from the battle fields, so that it a wonder more accidents have not oc­ curred. All those found are to be care fully exploded by the military authori­ ties. The shells turned up by the plow in great numbers in the soft soil plowed fields at Mars-le-Tour, Thion ville, Gravelot, St. Privat, and Noisse ville, have, through the influence of the damp, lost all power of explosion. The peasants were at first afraid of touching them with the plow, but though heaps have been turned up no accident hm ever occurred. quite a variety found together, In­ cluding rattle, garter, chicken, moc­ casin, and other snakes. IT is said that the enforced confine­ ment of George W. Childs to his room in Philadelphia is the cause of a good deal of pecuniary inconvenience tQ many worthy people. It is not gen­ erally known, but it is a fact neverthe­ less, that many there--and some oi them hold their heads pretty high, too are mainly dependent upon hie bounty for their means of livelihood. Some of them are broken-down busi- i men, others widows with families, and others still are impecunious friends who have known "better days." Not very long ago certain of his 80 and 90- year-old pensioners, fearing that in the event of his death they would lose their pensions, wished him to insure his life for their benefit. Had they been as thoughtful and provident in their days of prosperity they would have had no *"7" need for a reque,.. I„ '• ">.rd .cr.bbl.tog,. „p ,gM0. order that the names of his benfactore may not become known, Mr. Childs at tends to their remittances himself. IttllGWOOt}. EDITOR PLAINDKALBR Believer* LA a cloudy Candlemas can hold up 'their beads and take eoorage, tor not a ray of sunlight peaetrated the gloom of that day. The traditional bear is somewhere out of hla dea looking for an early spring. Wt sincerely hope he may find It. His chance of success as a weather prophet is quite as good as that of «v Igglns or the oldest in­ habitant. Progressive Bacbre has struck our village at last. The Initiated pro­ nounce It "lots ef fun." It divides the honors with the coasting at Walkor's pond. Our young people seem to be, doing very well without a toboggan chute; for they can slide down nil) without any elaborate preparation. The secret of happiness is te have a good time with the material at hand, and not eigh for what you can't get, Coasting Is like the dps and downs ef life,--jou go down with a rush, but It The mild weather and heavy rains of the early part or the week, caused the most serious freshet this section has 8xperianee 1 for several years. Bridg­ es were carried away, lowlands over­ flowed and traveling made difficult In many directions. It was with deep sorrow we learned ot the death of little Vivian, child AT Washington during the present session, writes a correspondent, Repre­ sentative Burns, of Missouri, William Walter Phelps, of New Jersey,Wilkins, of Ohio, Tom Bayne, of Pittsburgh and a few others have formed a coterie,1 of Lee and Edith Andruss. who dted at and are often seen playing three-balljMcHeory, February 2d. Mr. and Mrs. billiards or pool at one of me promi-. Andruss are well known and muoh re- nent rooms. Mr. Burns is probably thcjspscted here, and In their great affile- most expert of the quartet. He learneditlon have the sympathy of all. J;now" *° h""Uo tke % KSSt'ia, balls. Like Tom Ochiltree, he nurses ^nce. it presses liard at times, but them when at billiards, and tosses them ^ without complications, and when around deftly when the game is poe^i day's work is ended the toil of effort He talks much more than does Mr.'fcelf insures slumber. We are re- Plielps while playing, for the well- known New Jerseyman seems a little bored when he is making ail exhibition of himself in a pool room. CoL Bayne is kpown as a good all-around-the-table billiardist, and he enjoys the surround­ ings during a contest, and likes the ex­ citement when the game is evenly matched, whereas Mr. Phelps seems to wander off in his mind to legislation or the prospects for the Plumed Knight in 1888. Beriah Wilkins is the latest addition to the billiard players, but he is no novice in the art He chalks his cue and rattles his contestants with the guys as familiarly as any professional. He is very talkative, and the boys say he seems to think he can play as well with h\s tongue as with his cue. J. Hart Brewer, of New Jersey, the well- known potter, who took such a promi­ nent part in the tariff discussion in the Forty-seventh Congress,was an habitue of the billiard parlors here, and used to roiind up Wilkins frequently. Rob­ ertson, of Kentucky, often sticks his head into the billiard rooms, but he never cared as much for dallying with the cue and balls as Senator Beck,who, but for the work he has to do and tho lack of dignity about it, would be about the billiard rooms much of his time. Few of the Southern Senators or Rep­ resentatives are ever seen in billiard rooms. They come here from the East and Central States mostly. And, strange as it may seem, the public men who play billiards most drink the least. There are those who would turn up their noses at the suggestion of playing billiards, but would drink to excess and never think it wrong. There is the greatest abandon among the sixty or seventy-five legislators who frequently play billiards. Sometimes, on a hot night, they take off their coats and work like wood sawyers. Senator Vest, it is said, can make more work around a billiard table than a section hand on a railroad car at his work. Senator Ransom moves around and rests while he plays. Senator Voorhees never plays, because, they eay, he has not the patience, if he had the time. Sen­ ator Palmer likes billiards, but he likes them at the quiet home, away from the noise and confusion of the crowd. feEBROK. LODGE DIRECTORS'. , . MASONTO.--A. F. and A, M. meet at Masonic Hall on every 1st and 84 Wednesday even, ings of ench month. MODKRN WOODMKIT OP AMIRICA.--Meet at Masonic Hall every 2d and 4tU Monday even- ings of each month. Neighbors cordially In­ vited. SONS OF TSXPBKAMCB.--Meet at Union Hail on Tuesday evening of each week. EDITOR PLAIMDEALER:--Miss Carrie Hodge Is on the sick list. Drew Stewart, from Elgin, Is visi­ ting hit cousin, L. Z. Puree. Johnnie White had his hand badly cut in a buzz saw, one'day last week. Miss Nellie Andrews Is spending a week with her uncle1* people, at Lawrence. George Manor mojed from Genoa this week Into a pajrt of Mr. Street's bouse. | G. B. Stone and John Wlckham started Tuesday oft last week for California. $ Grant Phillips cape home from Burlington Friday ifght. fer a short visit. -1 Wray says, we *S&eW ofl- He did net go to Woodst("*b \>nt only over to • • *» lal® tfl tt . Aldea to have a Jiibrintime. The funeral s^fnt M1 of Chas, High. Jlah'tiizen of Bloom-an old and reepewM*'* field, Wis., was l.Dam " (W« his residence on Thursday aft^n^ Distempor in #tto-°k ' • t i (MKn lent among hor*Urew The horse sutlers t B break all about form Is preva- this vicinity, y and swellings RAILWAY SLAUGHTER. Four Coaches on the Vermont Central Crash Throu Bridge.^ m- Flames Add to the Horror of the Sit­ uation--About Fifty People Consumed. > * Our school "5 loo from Won* invl sensible, «' class are FOR some time parties living in Field Township, near Mt. Vernon, HI., have been killing a large number of rattle­ snakes by digging down and blasting the rocks with powder. In this manner they get at the snakes, which are usually very deep in the ground. So far they have icillel about 120 at that place, while many scattering ones are reported from other places. When first taken qut of the ground they are very active and have considerable atrength, but after being exposed to the cold for a few minutes become per­ fectly torpid. They range in size from one to six feet, but none have been se­ cured without breaking off their rattles, as they always "show fight," so it is im­ possible to say how many they have. In the eastern part of the county there is another den, and a short time ago about fifty were taken out of it. There Bide and Tie. There used to be a fashion in Connec­ ticut which was very convenient for general usage, and assumed the im­ portance of a local custom among the youngsters in families where there were more riders than steeds. It was exactly what its name implied--"ride and tie." Two young men who wanted the same horse at the same time divided him with Solomon-like wisdom in this way: - One started out on horseback and one on foot. The horseman rode a certain part of the way when he came to the place agreed upon as a "tie." There he tied the home and resumed his journey on foot. When the foot passen­ ger reached the "tie" he mounted the liorae and rode on to the next tie, pass­ ing liis comrade as he trudge along on foot, but with no special elation, as he knew it would be his turn to "tie" as it now was to ride. It was a boy's device but grown men availed themselves of it. Apropos of Connecticut, there lived a handsome lass in one of its olden homes who was much admired by the country b^aux far and near. One in particular, a bashful, freckled young man with much self-consciousness regarded Miss Mary as a sort of divinity whom he fras afraid to approach. Young ladies rode on horseback in those days, and the young man concluded, after much think­ ing on the subject, to invite his divinity to ride. So he rode one horse and led another side-saddled for her use, and Miss Mary, looking out of the window, saw him riding up the road to the house in fine style, and although she had not yet been invited she easily surmised what it meant But when she went to the door to welcome her gallant, horses and rider had disappeared. Bather startled the young lady sent her young brother out to reconnoiter. He found the bashful lover walking his horses in the orchard while he rehearsed--with various expressions of voice--the ques­ tion he desired to ask, changing the form of interrogation. "Will you take a ride with me, Miss Mary?" "Miss Mary, will you take a ride with me?" "Can I have the pleasure of your company for a ride, Miss Mary ?" "Miss Mary, will you have the pleas­ ure of my company for a ride?" The youngster reported the situation to his sister, who, no doubt, found a way of settling the matter for her bash­ ful admirer.--Detroit Free Press, of course, to the again: "Won't you stay at home, Harry, to oblige me? Just this onoe; I am so lonely ?" "Lonely ?" was his answer. How can you be lonely with the children!" "But they are abed. And recollect, I see nobody, day in and day out. Can't you do it to please me, for this once ?" I could hardly speak; it was as much as I could do to keep the tears from coming, his conduct seemed so cruel. "The fact is," he replied, "I'm dead beat with working all day, and must go out to get brightened up a little. You women never make allowance for a man." And he went out quite crossly. Never make allowances! If th'e hus­ band is worried with business, and I do not doubt it, is not a wife worried with housekeeping ? Are the servants and children and sickness no trouble ? And is a woman differently constituted from a man, so that the recreation which one considers indispensible for himself is of no use to the other ? "How your complexion has gone," said my husband to me the other day. "It seems to me that in this climate a woman is old at 30." Again the tears came into my eyes. Harry did not mean to be unkind; he was only thoughtless. But why had I lost my complexion? Can a woman live forever in rooms heated by hot air, never going out, except on some errand, and then hurrying home as Boon as the errand is done, without losing her com­ plexion ? Is it the climate or her mode of life that makes her old before her time ? It was on my tongue to say these things, but I refrained. I have learned that "silence is golden." "How I wish I had something to read," I said yesterday. "I think if had a new book now and then, the evenings when you are out, Harry, would not be so long. "Books cost too muoh money in times like these," answered my husband. "I should think your sewing would amuse you enough. To get bread for his family and lay by a little for a rainy day i& as much as a prudent man can do nowadays." And as he spoke he lit his cigar and went out. Will men ever understand women? Will they ever see their own selfishness in its true light ? These thoughts rose to my mind as I reflected with a sigh that a tithe of the money which Harry spent on cigars would buy all the new books 1 wished Yet Harry does not mean to be un­ kind. He saw his mother treated as he treats me, and he thinks I have no right to complain. Perhaps I have not. But, 0! how much happier I would be if things were different. Are women only machines to sew, darn, sweep, dust, bake bread, take care of children, and keep house? Have they no need of recreation ? No higher nature that is starved by a life like mine ? There is no contention between Harry and me. But his love now is, it seems to me, a very different thing from what it seemed before marriage. Is my fate the fate of all ? Is every wife like me when ten years married ? Unconscious Counting. There is an ingenious araicle on "un­ conscious counting" in Die Garten- laube, in which the writer, Herr W. Preyer, points out that the ability pos­ sessed by every grown-up person of ordinary intelligence to distinguish three, four, or even five objects at a glance and without being conscious of counting them, may, by practice, be perfected to such a degree that it be­ comes quite as easy to count ten objects as it is to count tljree, and that it is possible to give the exact number up to thirty objects at a single glance. As an example of the latter attainment, the writer points to the well-known arithmetician, Dase, who died in 1861, and who declared that he could count thirty objects of the same kind as quickly and easily as other people could count three or four. The truth of this assertion was often proved when Dase, with lightning rapidity, gave the correct number of a herd of sheep, of the books in a library, or the window- panes in a large house. Apart from the utility of this branch of science the method of teaching it is such that if it is only practiced as a game it may afford amusement in many a juvenile and family circle. The test of how far anyone can count at a glance is easily made by putting several small objects,' such as coins, pins, or matches, under a sheet of paper, then lifting the paper for a second and looking at the objects, and, after covering them again, give an esti­ mate as to the number. At first it will be found difficult to fix the number if there are more than from three to five objects, but the eye becomes very soon accustomed to distinguish between larger numbers, so that after a short time, eight or nine objects will be counted by the eye with the same facil­ ity. Care should, however, be taken that the counting is not done con­ sciously, for that would take far too much time; the numbor of objects ^1«« EUa Rowe, XiU*t eit7U Men of that to write plain, every letter is bher very much tilted backward; bigger than its lads much above the letters not so Otters all having leral uprightness, pie edges of the ling upward nor [business-like peo- tact handwriting, rel in quirks and Mr. Manor, froava *#»a, was In town ' Saturday with a lot of fresh filh, caught at the lak<j^jjjcf course many nr, had a feast. ,r round hands itf^he distinctly legibly slanted forward,,r no letter very neighbor, nor wi or tails much belt distinguished; thtl about the same g* and the lines true to1 paper, neither te: downward. Exact, pie will have an Fantastic minds re streamers, particularly for the capital letters, and this qi^lity is not infre­ quent in' certain business hands, as if the writers found a relief from the prosaic nature of thfcir work in giving flourishes to certain letters. Firm, de­ cided, downright men are apt to bear on the pen while writing, and to make their strokes hard and thick. On the contrary, people who are not sure of themselves, and are lacking in self-con­ trol, press unevenly,,'and with anxious- looking, scratchy lnnda. Ambitious people are apt to be overworked; they are always in haste and either forget to cross their t's, or dot their i's. They are also apt to run the last few letters of every word into an illegible scrawl. Flurried, troubled, and conscience- twinged persons have a crabbed and uneven handwriting. --Henry Eckford, in SL Nicholas. 0 The British Soldier'* Life. ^ _ A British soldier's life does not seetti to be "all beer and skittles," judging from the army returns. Those who have the British army under their con- trel should really try and find out why it is that during the last twelve months upward of five thousand men should have run away. English soldiers do not usually cut and run in the face of an enemy; but during the piping times of peace a vast number appear to be desirous of getting out of their bargain to serve the Queen. It is true that the •army is largely--principally, I may say --recruited from the lower strata of society, and that the pay which a pri­ vate soldier receives is not very high, but the British is the best paid army in Europe, and, after making every allow­ ance, the number of deserters is ap­ pallingly large, and induces one to think there must be something wrong in the system. Were the army con- sci ipted the mystery would be a mys­ tery no longer; but lliis is not the case, and I can only account for it by the un­ due worry and hurry wliich attend life in many of the regiments. Martinet officers, overbearing subalterns, Y^nd frequent stoppages of pay for trifling breeches of red tape rale--these are some of the reasons; and another prob­ ably is the practice of taking recruits at too early an age, before they know their own minds. During the last year or two want and starvation have been her Majesty's best j^jcruiting sergeants. They have driven army who have r< as soon as they go|j filled again.-- Lorn phia Telegram. ^iny men into the ited their bargain Leir stomachs well l/i Ccr. I'hiladel- The In the warm ) Ocean a strange* _ has given rise t » among the natives® about. They tell Tft often seen in the ca the terrible hurric; those waters. Not turbs the M ater, tl like a vast sheet oi sail appears, glist<f pie and golden •Fish. rs of the Indian iner is found that ,any curious tales the coast there- a wonderful sail seasc ns preceding es that course over breath then dis- isea rises and falls *lass; suddenly the Qg with rich pur- s, and seemingly comes, quivering bedecked with gi pear as if by iuf*t driven along by a -g s^hty wind. On it --•!_ sparkling, as if but only to disap- Many travelers had heard with u Xlief this strange tale; but one day the phantom craft actually appeared to the crew of an Indian steamer, and as it passed by under the stern of the vessel, the queer "sail" was seen to belong to a gigantic sword-fish, now known as the sailor-fish. The sail was really an enormously de­ veloped dorsal fin that was over ten feet high, and was richly colored with blue and iridescent tints; and as the fish swam along on or near the surface of the water, this great fin fiaturally waved to and fro, so that, from a dis­ tance, it could easily be mistaken for a curious sail. Some of these fishes attain a length of over twenty feet, and have large, 1 AE'VATJCANCAITCHIMAI;. [White River Junction (Vt.) special. 1 An express train, lound from Boston for Montreal, met with a terrible accident near Woodstock, on the Central Vermont llnilrond, early Saturday iuorning. The train started from this city on time, but was detained at White ltiver J unction, so it was about an hour and a half late when it left there. It consisted of a locomotive, bag- gtige-ear. postal-car, two passenger conches and (wo sleeping cars, iind was running at the usual rate of speed. When about two hundred yards south ot' the end of the Deck bridge, near the old Windsor Station, a broken rail was struck. The locomotive, baggage-car and postal-car broke away from the rest of the train, passing over the bridge in safety. The rest of the train was thrown from the rails and continued on the road-bed uutil it eame near the end of the bridge, but there it ran over the abutment, and all of the cars fell into the White River, some fifty feet below. The gorge at this point is frightful, and when the cars went down there was a terrible crash. As eoon as possible the detached part of the train was stopped and ran back to the scene of the disaster. The screams of the injured were heartrending. Assistance also came from people living in the vicinity, and everything'was done to rescue and re­ lieve the injured. Soon after help arrived it was discovered that lire had Btarted in the first passenger coach, and soon the entire (rain was ablaze, thus adding a new horror to the already frightful catastrophe. Those present were powerless to stop the fire, and devoted themselves entirely to attempting to rescue thoie imprisoned in the wreck. The rescuers met another and an unex­ pected obstacle in the heat, which had be­ come so intense that (hey were obliged to relinquish their efforts to save the sufferers, and were compelled to retreat to a place of safety for themselves, and to become un­ willing and horror-stricken witnesses of the awful holocaust. In addition to this, and to add to the terrors and sufferings of the passengers, the weather was intensely cold, and the rescuers were hindered thereby in their work. No water could be obtained with which to check or to extinguish the flames. There were between eighty and ninety persons on the train. Of these thirty-five are accounted for as among the wounded, thirty-three are dead, four are uninjured, leaving only four unaccounted for. It is utterly impossible to identify more thnn ten or twelve of those recovered, the clothing being entirely gone and the bodies burned to a crisp. Every article of clothing, scrap of paper, or other thing found is being carefully saved for the purpose of identifi­ cation, and parties having friends unac­ counted for will be afforded every means or clew to the identification of lost or un­ known. STOUT OF • SCBVIVOB. Mr. Henry W. Tewksbury ot West Ran­ dolph. Vt., the lecturer, states that he was in the first day coach. He was dozing at the time of the accident, but was aroused by feeling the car jumping up on the rail­ road ties. He had been in two railroad ac cidents before this and he knew what the sensation portended. Realizing that an accident was about to occur he jumped from his seat, with the intention of making his escape. The train seemed to come to a standstill or go very slowly. He thought it was all right, and so sat down again. TJ^gn, witj^ut a moment's waiting thai anything further Was lo occur, the car seemed to leap into space and then came a terrible crash. For a moment he was stunned and scaroely knew whether he was dead or alive. He tried to move, but found he could not budge an inch. He noticed with great alarm that fire had broken out at the further end of the coach He struggled with all his strength to free himself and screamed for help, but there was no one at hand to help him. It was time of mental torture, but still he could not help noticing an old couple who were few seats above him. They sought to get out, but they were hope lessly tied down by heavy seats. The flames approached the couple with frightful rapidity, and the aged pair seemed to feel that there was no hope for them. The last he saw of them they were locked in each other's arms and iu the act of kissing. The smoke and flames now enveloped them, hiding them from view. Mr. Tewksbury then gave himself up for lost.. He seized his fur cap and wouud it around his face so as to cover the eyes and hide the dreadful view of approach­ ing death. At this time the railroad bridge above him was one mass of fire, and heavy burning timbers were falling i all about him. Having leaned back resignedly to meet what seemed lo be his fear.ul fate, h?s hopes of life were renewed by hearing voices. He unwound his fur cap and saw the engineer aud fireman close at hand. He called to them frantically for assistance which they proferred at once. Seizing hold of him his rescuers sought to pull him out, but failed. Thinking that his was a hopeless case they were about to leave him to help others, but ho begged them to try again and to break his leg if necessary. They did so and tnanaged to get him out, breaking (he leg and an arm in the effort. The flames were so close upon Mr. Tewks­ bury that his clothing was burned from his body. Carl Pretzel's Philosophy. Der vinter he was a bully feller to hafe fun mit. Vat is so goot enuff, vhen you dond coot go der door out, on at kouud of Shack Frost, to shtop on your house mit a lofein frow und lock der sbtofe door so dot der fire coodn't vent out, und trink cider mude fon little ret abbles. Ofer dhere vas a mans mitout such tings on his mind, und such goot brincibles on his head, he vas mit meyoost der same like some hostage shtamps dot I hafe seen, a poody pad shaick. Ofer dhere vas a female vimmens dot vas mitout such good abreciations of habbiness like dot, I dond would marry myself mit dot gal, efen if her fadder owned a big brewery. Dots so. Dis vas a qweer worldt to shtop in. Dhere vas so much ungratitood. Efen of a goot many vas a leedle bug, mit dheir outsides in a leedle rose dot vas growin on a tree, mit der vind to rock em shleepiness into, und in der mornin to got ub und vaali in der dew dot vas come on der rose in der nite time und dook brokefast 011 der ped clow, dhey would found faults on ackound 01 some- ting or udder.--Carl Pret.eVs Weekly. HISTORICAL. ARISTOTLE, the teacher of Alexander the Great, died 322 B. C. WILLIAM GEA, of Edinbnrg, first practised the art of printing from stere­ otyped plates. WITHIN the limits of the Roman Em­ pire under Augustus there were at least 100,000,000 of human beings. IT is universally conceded that gun­ powder was discovered by Roger Bacon, an English monk, in the thirteenth century. IN 1348 a fearful plague, called "the Black Death," swept overall Europe, killing more than one-half the inhabi­ tants of England. RALPH LANE and companions, who went baek to England from Virginia with Sir Francis Drake, carried with them the first tobacco seen in that country. JOHN MILTON (1608-74) was the great­ est epic poet of modern times. His two greatest poems. "Paradise Lost" and "Paradise Regained," were written in poverty and blindness. WHEN the President of the United States proclaimed war against Great Britain on July 19, 1812, the navy of the TTnited States consisted of only twenty vessels, exclusive of gunboats. MYRTLE GROVE was a mansion near Youghall, Ireland, near Cork. It de­ rived its name from the luxuriant growth of the myrtles by which it was nearly covered. It is world re­ nowned as having once been the home of Sir Walter Raleigh. A TELEGRAPH of an improved plan was invented in 1799 by Jonathan Grant, of Belcher town. The inventor set up one of his lines between Boston and Martha's Vineyard, ninety miles apart, at which he asked a question and re­ ceived an answer in less than ten min­ utes. 1ST 1750 the pious people of New En­ gland were much alarmed by several young Americans getting up a theatri­ cal representation of "Otway's Orphan." Some years later a company of actors from London played in New York and' Philadelphia. They were excluded from Massachusetts by law. THE Hancock House was a famous old mansion which stood until within a few years in Boston. It was erected in 1737, and was the residence of Gov. John Hancock (1737-1793). The Gov­ ernors of Massachusetts with the coun­ cil were for a long period of years in the habit of dining in this mansion an­ nually on election day. It was taken down in 1863. THE national monument is an im­ posing memorial structure of granite, erected on Cemetery Hill, Gettysburg, Pa., in honor of the Union soldiers who gave their lives for their country at this place in the great battle of July 3, 1863. It stands in the center of the en­ closure which contains the bodies of ^ome 3,500 soldiers representing eigh­ teen Northern States. The monument bears upon its base the famous words of President Lincoln delivered at the consecration of the cemetaryin. her, 1863. .. / - «OOTAL DANCE. At Ileimer's Hall, McHenry,on Mon­ ty evenlag, Feb. 21st, 1887. Music, 'idgett's Quardrllle Band. Tickets cents. All are cordially invited. jonir HKIMKK, Proprietor. Money to Loan. [eooy loaned oa McHenry County |ms on time and in amounts to suit rrower. Write or apply to J. W. BANSTEAD, Rooms 1 and 2, Bordeu Block, Elgin IU, ILLINOIS LBOISLATtJlR BKHATOB SUXXEB'8 hill prorldiBC Mr A* election of Presidents of Boards of TRNIMM te towns and villages by tho people «M IWd a second time in the Senate on the test. Bills were introduced in the Senate as MMMHI; By Senator Beavill, to allow *11111101 to tw part in the selection of trustees ef wlteteM and educational lnsti tattoos and wilWUfr ing the manner and time of sneh eloetiMW; by Senator Adams, providing for appeals li school cases where township turn eras SOUlf: lines ; by Senator Cochran, fixing tn^wMp' ot receivers of corporations, the roaTimnm to M five par cant, on the first 1100,000; by OtushK Pierce, amending the l;en law SO that for labor and material may become fore the expiration of si* months; by Humphrey, allowing State attorneys tec of the third clarfs to receive a salary .of and requiring theia to tarn om urea to the county. In the Representatives a resolution v Mr. Wright of Cook, and referred to mittee on Judiciary, providing for the r ment of a committee of seven to inmsfi killing of Terrence Begley during U»_ Yards troubles, in October last, by FM _ police, and to ascertain why the pmn< whose hands he met his death net ft ished thereior. A resolution was pWIMBWi asking that the charges that > ertalll Rlto banks are collecting usurious WtaajK interest be investigated. The Chicago TMiga and Savings Bank is specially roaaMo-- A resolution was introduced by Mr. hawywfE La Salle, to pension all honorably illaillltlln soldiers, over 60 years of age, who are dupMM enta. Mr. Lament introduced a KMmka which was referred to the Committee an Jntt* trial Department, providing tor tne to a vote of the people of a eo amendment prohibiting the manufacton sale of intoxicating liquors, the law to BO into effect in 1890, if adopted. Both houses adjourned until Feb. 7. THK Senate held a very brief session on th» 7th Inst., and did absolutely nothing. Iatlte House of Representatives Mr. Mesaiek Intro­ duced a joint resolution giving the Logan Mon­ ument Commissioners the power to erect the monument upon the State Hons* groimds, pro­ vided it should be the wish of Mrs. Logan. Tha rules were suspended and the resolution passsd. Bills were introduced as follows: By Mr. Maa- siclt, providing for the heating of MSMMI coaches by other means than by stoves; by Mr. Baker, compelling railroads to construct and maintain under-track crossings; by Mr. P. pwyer, prohibiting bodies of men lion acting as policemen unless duly authorised and appointed; by Mr. Baker, limiting tsla- phone charges to $3 per month on instruments where only one is used by a subscriber, and for each additional one'; by Mr. Cooley, pro­ hibiting confessions of judgment until claims Decome dee by Mr. Decker, l _ changes of venue in civil cases unless three days' notice has been given before oommanea- ment of the term; by Mr. Bradshaw, amending the act in relation to fees and salaries and giv­ ing witnesses $1 per day and S-cent mllMft; by Mr. Berger, to authorise the auditor to pay , F&S each for the burial of indigent soldiers; by. Mr. Carr, authorizing railroads to construct branch lines and to change their routes. A RESOLUTION instructing the Governor to appoint five commissioners to represent the State at the centennial celebration ot the settlement of the Ohio River valley, to be held at Cincinnati in 1888, waa passed by the Sen a to on the 8th teat. Bsn- ator Johns introduced a joint resolution jjrovid- Yaltuible Jewels. One of tbe most perfect bri llianttf is the celebrated Pitt, or liegent, which is among the French crown jewels. It weighs 13i>2 onratB. It once <» muuenled the sword of Napoleon I. Before it was cat it weighed ill) carats. The Florentine diamond, among the rowu jewels of the Emperor of Austria, weighs 1MJ carats. It is of pure water, j of beautiful color, and, notw thstanding it* olor is somewhat of a citron tint, it ia allied at $.525,001). • The Sancy diamond weighs 53J carats, and came i roin India about the fifteenth century. It was sold by Napoleon to the . Eim eror of llussia lor $375,000. , The Star Qf the South is the largest, dia- £ mond found in Brazil, and weighs 254 1 ["units. It is a brilliant of the purest wa, 'r. Tbe Pasha of Egypt is cnton eight sides, reighs 40 earate, ana coat Si 40,000. Cold Waves, * * v The present theory among scientists is that "cold waves" are dne to the high barometric pressure at the polar region. This pressure sets in motion the accu­ mulated mass of Arctio air southward, which sweeps down upon the United States as naturally and more swiftly than swollen Mississippi rushes irom Minnesota to the Gulf. Conclu­ sive proof of this is found in the fact that most of the severest cold spells ever recorded have occurred, not in midwinter, but in December, the month in which the barometric maximum within the A rctic Circle culminates. In the fall of 1782 the initial cold of win­ ter was so intense that' by Nov. 28 the Delaware River at Philadelphia was closed by ice. On Dec. 24, 1879, the lowest temperature ever recorded in the United States (59 degrees below zero) was obsorved at Pembina, Tt. T.; but despite this terrible demonstration bf the winter's intensity, it proved to be one of the mildest ever known in the States east of the Mississippi. The next time this abnormal extreme oc­ curred was in Dec. 1880. The great frigid wave in Dec. 1886, from the polar side of the continent, cannot, therefore, be viewed as a sure portent of an exceptionally bitter winter over the country generally. The event may be, as it was in 1875, when, on Dec. 20, a like wave brought Ihe thermometer in New York City down to 2 degrees; but the sequel was a rather warmer winter than usual in almost all sections of the United States, except in the Northwest and the trans-Mississippi districts. 1 An Electric Mountain. A very peculiar property has recently been discovered in the rock of a moun­ tain seven miles from the town of Santa Cruz. This rock is heavily charged with electricity, and when applied to a battery was found to produce strong electric currents. A small handful of this rock applied in a battery generates sufficient electric force to operate the battery for three an<i appeared to be not the least exhausted of its powers. This rock has very much the appearance of ordinary soapstone and exists in enormous quantities, constituting tho principal mass of the mountain. Its strange property was accidentally dis­ covered by a man who was experiment­ ing with mineral water on the mountain and having occasion to use some of the rock, placed it in contact with the bat­ tery. The man who made this wonder­ ful discovery kept it a profound secret from the world until ho and one or two of his confidential friends had obtained a title to the portion of the land, paying $15,000 therefor. The present owners are experimenting with the rock, with a view to thoroughly testing its proper­ ties. The result of such investigation we can only surmise, but are wry anxioue to learn. Where the Colleges Fail. When will our women's colleges turn out a race of graduates who will devote themselves to literature, even as faith­ fully as many men now do, making it an object for life to do thoughtful and serious work? I am tcld by editors that you may almost connt on the fingers of one hand the women in America to whom you can assign a sub­ ject for a magazine paper, requiring scholarly effort and labor, and have the work well done. This is the gap that needs to be filled by litorarv women at present. The supply of second-rrade fiction--and by this is meant all liction inferior in grade to George Eliot's--is now tolerably well secured. But the demand for general literary work of a solid and thoughtful nature, demand­ ing both a scholarship and a trained power of expression--that is never very well supplied among men, and, is with few exceptions^ unapplied among American women. It is to me >t this demand that we have a right to look to fur colleges.---2'. W. Miggintern, in Marpei 's Bazar. ing for the appointment of a committee from the Senate and six from the House to In­ vestigate the convict labor question. Bills mi introduced as follows: By Senator Johna, limiting the right of resident aliens to hold ar acquire a title in real estate: by asnatnr Gibbs, the house bill introduced by Mr Chase to pre­ vent pool-Belling and book-making; by Bawatar Garrity, amending the primary election law so that each candidate may secure a judge; by Senator Knopf, com pelfing the at­ tendance of witnesses at Coroners' Inquasts; also a bill increasing the fees of Cowan VN Coroners' witnesses outside of Cook County; by Senator Cochran, allowing teachers tfcrae «qn pay attending county institutes; at«o a bill to ^ to Arbor dav. a faUl a*. ting apart oertain rooms ia the bu ldtng for tha use of the State Bills were intaroauoed M follows: By . VoB) reoulring expreas oampanies to pay ag Ma­ nual tax equal to 3 per cent of ..the grass if-, celpts; by same, requiring the owneqr* at fir pay encourage the planting of trees and empowers the Governor to designate a tima each year for that purpose, known i The House of Representatives pswed i buildi same idinga of tour stories orwror to ttoriie _.. ie withmetallio fln-e«caM U40H*; by Clarfc proMM«aa »U JtW^s. cooMtipvA' S7 cwforaUonslrom tnalntamlns SB? _ wherein shopping is owriad on, fnSnfiT stocks dealt fn Of interied to b« d«alt to without any I delivering the i tablishment of by Mr. Decker, punishing unauthorised iwltoas who enter or depart from railway can walla te motion, and prohibiting trespassing upon tall' ; road tracks; by Mr. Decker, punishing * who adulterate baking powder. AFTBB the presentation of the usual < of petitions protesting against the _ _ , change in the game laws, the following bQla< ';' i| were introduced in the Senate on the 9tfe Inst.!" By Senator McGrath, providing for the consoli­ dation of the township and State school fund; '"% by benator He nhardt, allowing appeals fMm , j the County Court, and a'ao a bill to amend ttie'c:"iSp revouue l&w, by which a board of three reve- nue reviewers can be electsd to eq valise tha assessment in each tjwnship; by the same, ex- tending i he property upon wnioh township fire j, insurance companies may holi risks; by Senator Knopf, prohibiting transactions to • i 4 grain, j roduce, or petroleum, unless the party selling can show that lie lias the property ready j for delivery; by Senator Strattan, regulating te- • surauce companies to prevent over-insuranca; by Senator Johnson, to do away with tbe sab- • ̂ mission of propositions in law to tbe court te all cases where trials are not had bv jury j by Sen­ ator Southworth, to allow the niniung Of Mil cars in tho le&r of paaadnger coaches, provided . the cars are equipped with air brakes; by Sen*. tor Johuaon, to amend the law te relation io vgj tax titles so that notice of the intention to apply for tax deed need only be served on tbe owner. *..j The bill to exempt the homestead from forced :%! sale, introduced by Senator Curtis, was reed a second tune and ordered to tfiird KIKUU, ' . A bill was reported in the House from the Jram- .,4 clary Committee providing that where a Circuit 1 y Judge has been assigned for Appellate Court .. | duty an additional judge may be elected from tm „ \f circuit from which he was assigned. A bill waa * ii also reported which limits imprisonment for. , ',">1 debt to one year, provided the defendant ached- *' ulea bis property. There was a Hvely tilt in tbe - - .'si House over the bill permanently locating vH fl the t-tate Fair in Chicago--February S# * was fixed for the consideration of tha. U'M measure. A dozen or so of bills were introduced, among them the following: By Mr. Faxon, compelling all municlpahtwt* itl and corporations to make firo-proof all build- "7M ings intended for hospital purposes; by Mr.' ftroved, making the population of country V j® election ;xeciu«t« instead of 450: by Mr. • '1 Fischer, providing for a northwestern hos- ^*3 pitftl for the insane; by Mr. Fletcher, " i*ll prohibiting dealing in futures in pro­ visions, i. grain, petroleum, etc.; by' Mr. Galloway, prohibiting the employmatf of "drinking men" by carriers of freights and ,-ll passengers ; by Mr. Gittings, giving conductors : 55§ oi freight or passenger trains police power while i' on duty; by Mr. GrevUi, allowing males over 18 &nti females over It? to marry without tbe coo- *,.1 sent of parents or guardians ; by Mr. Hamilton, ,-y,Ws providing for the burial of honorably discharged 'c'jg; soldiers of the war who may die in indigent eir- \ifijg cumstances; by Mr. Campbell, prohibiting the ' / "w compounding of liquors or the sale of such ' product; by Mr. Campbell, cutting down the > rates paid "for the State printing to abont two-; thirds of the present figure. THE bill impropriating $300 for expenses at the "• ' -..j± Davie-Logan memorial day passed the Senate on the 10th inst. The joiut resolution appoint- ing five Commissioners to represent the State in the centennial celebration of the settlement of the Ohio Valley at Cincinnati came back from the House with an amendment prohibiting the appropriating of any money, and the * amendment was concurred <n. The fol- - .tjt lowing bills, among others, were iutrw " ' .. V duced : By Senator Kckliart, compelling cities and towns to licence stationary eugiueers; VSfe by Senator Cochran, revising the election law by extending the opportunity for challangM \ and in other minor re-ipet ts; by Senator Samb-1- '*^ worth, to prohibit domestic auimals from ran* ;.*S|p ning at large in cities; by Senator 1'ant well, to regulate ch irges of telephones to $1 a month .-'"'si for one instrument, and M when two or more are .i in service; by Senator Stepheuson. to^ro- vide for the cancellation of mortgages " by tho holder thereof. The House ; , of Representatives passed the Stnate bill ap- if piopriating JU to pay the Illinois National . [ Guard for services at Chicago and East St. Louis during the strikes of last spring. Tha ij balance of .the day in the House was consumed • in the discussiou of a couple of measures of te- tereat to Chicagoans only. ; *?;?® Some "Doii'ts" for an Ideal Heate. The ideal beautiful home is attained rather by avoiding errors of taste than bj the adoption of special dogmas of art. For my own part, if I have any dogmas to preach they may fairly ba condensed in this one rule: "Avoid; shams and affectations of all kinds." Don't mistake mere pvettiness for beauty. Millinery, for instance, is out of place in the home beautiful. Don't attach to your chain and sofa- cushions meaningless bows of ribbon which tie nothing. Don't dress up your toilet tables in muslin petticoats stiffened with erino- line or t olored i alico. There is no leason why an object should not be useful as well as orna­ mental. Indeed, there can be no beauty without fitness. Nature everywhere teaches us the compatibility of the high­ est utility with the greatest l>eautv\-- Journal qf Dtcoratu* Jrt. . ' 1!