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J. VAW SLYME, Mtw Mi ^GFOHENBY, -^bbbsksb ILLINOIS. ,,, "SO-LY" EMERSON, of Harerly's mfn- tltrels, is said to have a salary of $500 a %eek and a private car for himself and 1#ife. The next best thing to being a Railroad President is to be the leading member of a popular minstrel show. % DB. JOSEPH PARKER, of London, -will -deliver the eulogy on Henry Ward Beecher if the date can be changed from Jane 1 to Jane 24 A eulogy by •lieh a man as Parker on such a man •s Beecher will be nearly as interest­ ing as one by Beecher on Parker would have been. ' _ > ' . GEN. GEORGE A. SHERIDAN is re­ ported to haVe made eight times as iauch out of his recent lecture in Washington, in reply to Ingersoll's anti-Christian utterances, as Ingersoll made out of his first lecture. Now, if Gen. George can only keep that thing Hp, there will be "millionsflin it" * REPRESENTATIVE W. D. EELLIT, of Pennsylvania, has been in oontinuons (Service in the National House for twenty-six years. Nearest to him Stands Samuel J. Randall, whose term of continuous service has been twenty- ,four years. If Judge Kelley is the "Father of the House," Mr. Randall is entitled to be called the eldest son. . ' THERE recently died in Alexandria, Ya., an old man who had long carried <m, in a small way, the jewelry busi­ ness. A commission'appointed to ex­ amine into his affairs found in his dilap­ idated house where he had lived with his aged wife an old iron safe, and in it were $30,000 in money and over 303 watches. The widow was entirely surprised, and so were the neighbors, who always thought the old couple to be very poor. THE State capitol of New YtwIPftt Albany has cost $17,000,000, and is not yet completed, with the further proba­ bility that it never will be. No money was appropriated for it last year, and as it is impossible to estimate the ex­ pense of finishing the work, there is no encouragement for spending, or rather wasting, any more on the job. In the meanwhile the vast pile of material is fast becoming a ruin, and is already dangerous to its occupants. The tax­ payers like so well the one year's rest they have had from supporting this monster that all outside of Albany are rather glad to see the building foiling into ruin. • THE lawyers of Paris in solemn con­ clave, after elaborate consideration, have pronounced it to be their judg­ ment that a husband has a right to open his wife's letters. This has evoked some public comment, and among the approving voices are those of Alexan­ der Dumas and the Rev. Dr. Pressense. The former says that if Adam had only played the part of an eavesdropper out of Eden; and the latter qualifies his approval by applying it only to let­ ters "which are suspected of containing divorce-court evidence." The funny part of the business is that MM. Du­ mas and Pressense and the lawyers are all in sober earnest. ONE of the most interesting men connected with the Baltimore and Ohio is John W. Davis, the assistant to the President and the general political manager for the corporation. He was Baltimore's first newsboy. He sold papers over the city and did various things to get along. He became stage- struck and stole his way to Philadel­ phia. There he did a song-and-dance act at a variety theater, but the per­ formance, while very creditable, did not bring down the house or raise his salary. The result was that he got back to Baltimore the best way he could and began a career that landed him into several important political offices and then into the snug berth which he now occupies. A cut goes up over the country for a further improvement in typewriting. It is for a kind that will make the work keep. Late advices from Washington say that Government records "written" with the machine are already fading in a way which indicates that they will soon beeome illegible, and it was re­ ported a few days ago that a certain judge had distinguished himself by re­ fusing to accept as records in his court the work of the typewriter. The ne­ cessity for such a decision cannot be doubted, but is much to be regretted. The work of the typewriter, while fresh, is so much more easily read than is the average production of the pen that it has been widely preferred for record­ ing purposes, and the proceedings of -very many corporate associations, as well as legal documents, have been put into attractive shape by the aid of this instrument. But a great deal of this work will have to be "done all over again* in the good old-fashioned way. The fault lies in the ink, which is of the kind known as "aniline." The ink which was used with the earlier ma­ chines soon fades on exposure to the air. It was lacking in the quality of durability which permits the writing and printing of preceding centuries to be read as easily as if the work were done but yesterday. The old kinds of inks are not adapted to transfer from the ribbon to paper, which fact has led to the aniline substitute. The difficulty has, however, been partly overcome by a- recent mixture of carbon with the other ingredients, and it is now claimed that only the green and purple ribbons cannot be depended on to make a reeord that may be preserved al­ most indefinitly. It may be worth while to remember that copies made by transfer are not trustworthy as records, 'the impression made direct from the ,,ir- ^ types being much the most durable, as they leave a partial impress of form in addition to the color change given by the ink employed. It is probable that the difficulty will be entirely obviated now that attention is called to it The •inventive genius of the age would be labeled by the statement that this ob­ jection to the use of the typewriter cannot be overcome. "B. P. 8.," readily recognizable as "Mrs. Partington," says, in the Boston Post, that the late John G. Saxe was very vain of his ability as a sonnet- writer, and set them at their full valua­ tion. "One of these, he assured me seriously, was not surpassed by any since the days of Sir John Suckling. But his little vanity was pleasant and his egotism in no wise offensive to the ear or to good taste. He was in all re­ spects a charming man personality, a courteous and courtly gentleman, and a Democrat in principle and conduct. The acquaintance commencing at the postof&ce resulted in long friendship, and whenever we met our intercourse was very pleasant. But I had not met him for many years preceding his death, and was spared the pain of see­ ing his decay at the last. I knew his intense love of home, and could realize his pain as all the tender cords were broken that bound him to it. I was one winter in Chicago and had bundled up for departure on a midnight train, in a snowstorm, when, as I was waiting in the office of the Tremont House for a carriage to take me to the station the door swung open and Saxe came in, covered with snow, he having walked the distance, no conveyance being at hand, impatient for news from home. He greeted me very cordially, but, catching a glimpse of letters in the clerk's hand, he turned to me with a smile, and with a hearty shake of my hand, said: 'I am glad to see you, but here are those I want to see more.' I left him at his reading, his face beam­ ing with pleasure; and this was my last meeting with Saxe--a pleasant memory forever." -when Eve chatted with the serpent mankind would not have been turned1 'lent as any of the several movements Earthquakes In Massachusetts. It is to be noted, however, that since the settlement of this New England country there have been several shocks of an alarming nature, which have prin­ cipally affected the State of Massachu­ setts. That of 1727 and several fol­ lowing years was one of the most pe­ culiar disturbances which have ever been recorded. The first movements of this long-continued series of shocks disturbed a tolerably large area; but in a short time the shocks became con­ fined to the region near the old town of Newbury, Mass., where from 1727 to 1740 each shock, though the motion was slight, was accompanied by loud and terrifying sounds proceeding from the depths of the earth. We have the story of this strange convulsion from the journal of the Rev. Matthias Plant, the pastor of the Puritan church at Newbury. _ Although he viewed the matter rationally, many people be­ lieved that the tumult was caused by the devil at work in his nether realm. In 1755, almost coincidently with the great Lisbon earthquake, Central New England was visited by a disturb­ ance of considerable violence, one which, though a single shock, was probably nearly, if not quite, as vio- which have recently occurred in South Carolina. This disturbance, though not hurtful to life or limb, did a good deal of minor damage to the buildings of Boston and vicinity; a good part of the chimneys were overturned, and wherever a heavy weight was supported on a tall, frail base the effects were con­ siderable. John Winthrop, then pro­ fessor of physics and astronomy, one of the few eminent American men of sci­ ence of the eighteenth century, states that the bricks from the chimney of his house, in Cambridge, the top of which was thirty-two feet from the ground, were thrown to a point thirty feet from the base of the structure. If we may trust this observation, it is clear that the shock, though not of great violence, was of sufficient force to bring havoc to many flimsy structures of the pres­ ent day. Since 1755 there has been no earthquake in this district which can be termed menacing in its violence, though movements of slight importance, have been numerous. We may reasonably conclude that while the New England district has probably long been exempt from dis­ turbances of great severity, the Massa­ chusetts district appears to be liable to shocks of a violence sufficient to wreck buildings which are not well fitted to sustain such assaults.--Prof. N. 8. Sha- ler, in Scribner's Magazine. Hints to Penny-Tessers. Proctor, in his new book on "Chance and Luck," touches upon one point which must at some time have interested everybody. It is the notion that if you j toss a coin, say ten times in succession, and it comes down "tails," it is more likely on the eleventh throw to come down "heads" than "tails." The truth appears to be this, that if you toss for an hour "Leads" will not exceed "tails" or "tails" "heads" in a greater ratio than twenty-one to twenty. If you toss for a day the inequality will not be greater than 101 to 100. And yet, if during that time you toss "tails" ten times in succession (as you may often do) there will be no more likelihood of "heads" than of "tails" on the eleventh throw. It is, indeed, obviously out of the question that anything that has previ­ ously taken place can have given the coin a tendency to come down in one way rather than in another. The notion is perhaps capable of a reduction to absurdity in this way. Suppose it to be true that a coin which has come down "tails" ten times in succession is more likely at the eleventh throw to come down "heads" than "tails." Now let the tosser who has thrown "tails" ten times refrain from making the eleventh throw. Let him put the coin in his pccket and toss it a year hence; it is still more Kkely to come down "heads" than "tails." Or let him not toss at all, but pass it to another, who will toss it five years after. As the probability inheres in the coin it is still more likely to come down "heads" than "tails." Supposing all this to be true, it would appear that you might take up an old Roman coin and toss it, thinking the chances to be even, whereas the prob­ abilities had really been decided by the last pitcher, who tossed it two thousand years ago. IF just now too harsh a word was uttered, may the immortals m^ke it vain!--BryanCs Homer. THE WAR WAS OYER, Bat u Old Arkansan Had Just Fonnd It Out--Ufa Prompt Conclnsion te jKnoek Under. [Arkansas Traveler.] An old fellow with long hair and a face expressive of suspicion was arrested for shooting at a United States soldier. It appeared from the evidence that the soldier was peaceably walking along a quiet »treet when suddenly the long­ haired pian sprang from behind a tree and fired at him. When he had been arraigned, and before the Judge had asked a question concerning the case, he said: "Won't expect no show, so what is the use uv all this foolishness?" "What do you mean?" the Judge de­ manded. "Wall, I jest mean that I never heard uv the Yankees foolin' very long with er bush-whacker." "The man is crazy," said the Judge. "I'll be blamed if I am." "Then what do you mean?" "W'y, I am er rebel soldier, that's what I mean; yes, an' I shot at that Yankee jest the same as any uv the rest uv the boys would uv done." "My friend," said the Judge, "is it possible that you do not know the war is over?" "War's over?" the prisoner gasper. "Yes; ended more than twenty years ago. Whore have you been keeping yourself?" The prisoner, thoroughly overcome, sat down. The crowd that had assem­ bled gazed with deep interest upon him. The sympathetic Judge suffered him to take his own time. After awhile he said: "It's blamed strange. W'y, I thought the war was goin' on yit, The last regular fight I was in and it was a mighty long time ago, us fellers was putty badly whipped, so tuck to my heels an* went to the mountains an' stayed thar till the other day, an' then thinkin' that I'd try the thing a few mo' whirls, I came down but couldn't find the enemy; but I got holt of a news­ paper and seed, as I thought, that the war was still goin' on. I seed whar some feller was elected to office, not because he could read, but because he fit well in the army. The way the paper read I thought that the editor had just hung up some fresh scalps in his office, an' I felt sorter 'shamed uv myself larkin' round with nary a scalp, so I put an extra charge in my old fusee and struck out. I came all the way to this town without seein' a single Yankee, but I seed one putty soon afterwards and cracked a-loose at him. So yer say the war's over?" " ICS. N "Dun quit fightin'." "Long ago." , "Which side's whipped?" "The South." "South dun whipped?" "Yes." . . "Whar's Lee?" "Dead." ' "Lee dead?" "Yea* •> "Who killed him?" "Died a natvfral death." "Whar's the other Generals?" "In Congress." "An' the Colonels?" "In the Legislatures of the different States." "Whar air the privates?" "Dead." V ; 1 "All killed?" "Every one." "What air you going todo with me?" "Nothing; you inay go." "Wall, ef Lee an' all the privates is dead; ef the South is whupped and the Generals an' Colonels have all knocked under, I reckon the best thing 1 ken do is to quit." "Where do you live?" "My wife an' children live out here jn Saline County. I ain't seed them sence I fust j'ined the army an' I'd better jog on out that way ef the Avar's over, for I recken they're sorter oneasy erbout m« by this time. Holding a Seat. "Will you be kind enough to watch my seat here and allow no one to get into it while I go into the smoking car and take a smoke?" asked the pre­ sumptuous passenger in the opposite •eat of me. What else could I do but to answer yes, though I had started out on a pleasure excursion, and this man's con­ descension quite knocked all the pleas­ ure out of the trip at the beginning, and now that fatal seat lay on my mind like my last year's debts--provided I had some. At the next station a big man came in, and, spying the only vacant seat, pre-empted it on the spot, and pro­ ceeded to make himself comfortable. I sat a long time considering how far my responsibility went, but I saw that I must do something, so I mildly whispered to him that the seat be­ longed to another, and he scowled and left at the next station, where some ladies got aboard. As a last re­ sort I placed my new hat • over in the seat to preserve it--the seat, not the hat--and two of the females sat down on the hat. They did not appear to no­ tice the hat, or probably thought it was the bustle, and began to make them­ selves at home. I told them as coolly as I could that the seat was occupied. They said ot course it was. I remarked that the owner's hat was under them. They obliterated me with a frown and got up; the hat didn't get up. Its get- up was gone. I tried to straighten out the hat, and felt sick; so did the hat. I indulged inwardly in some strengthy secular language, and soon a tall, long­ haired fellow got aboard, whose panta­ loons were poked into his boots to rest, and whose shirt yearned towards a washtub, and took the fatal seat with out paying any attention to me waving him away. I had to do it, though I shuddered. I walked to him and gently and po­ litely told him the seat belonged to an­ other man, when, all of a sudden, he jumped up as if there was a tack in the seat Pf1 J gave a regular Comanche howl, as I sat back into my seat, wishing there was a trap-door through the floor of the car. "This seat belongs to another, does it? Where is the duffer? Where are his symptoms ? Nothing here. Where are his remains, his silk umbreller, his peanut shells, his tobacker. spit, his chewing-gum shoes, his fur-collar over­ coat, his thirty-eight-caliber valise, and his eyeglass? Show me, if you please, his assets, his liabilities, his heirs, ad­ ministrators, or assigns! Where is his mortgage, or his lien, or twenty years' lease ? I am Crosseyed liill from Bra­ zos! (and he parenthicized the name with a couple of long-horn revolvers). Are you the ozone, the canned 'fruit man who is trying to preserve this seat for the coming man, or the rising gen­ eration ?" I begged to prove an alibi, insanity, or anything legal that was necessary or would do any good, and begged him not to mention it, when in came the farmer occupant sad asked the stranger shortly to get out The stranger got. out, and the owner of the seat began to fall all over himself, to explore the ceiling with his feet, to test the floor, to ujhhandle the neighboring seats, and whejn the stranger laid him gently doWn in the aisle and spread him out comfortably to rest, and recuperate, and catch his breath, and get his health back, and try to feel better, and try to be easier, and wait for a doctor, and gather his senses, I had time to think that it was the right way for a man to be served who will ask another to hold his seat during his absence.--Detroit Free Press. The Lime-Kiln Club. Previous to the opening of the meet­ ing Brother Gardner, Sir Isaac Wal- pole and Waydown Bebee were seen in earnest conversation around the Presi­ dent's desk, and when the triangle sounded it was pretty well understood throughout the room that some matter of gravest importance was on the tapis. One individual seemed to feel even more than a lively curiosity. This was Brother Process Davis, a member of about six months' standing. He jammed himself into a corner and tried to ap­ pear as small as possible, and when in­ quiries were made about his sore heel he let on that he had an awful tooth- aehe and didn't want to talk. Scarcely! had the meeting opened when he was; called to appear at the President's desk. The look of terror which came to his face as he rose up proved that he re­ garded the matter in a very serious light, and he shuffled up the long aisle like one going to execution. "Brudder Process Davis," said the President, in very solemn tones, "at one of our weekly meetins last fall, an' as we war' about to disperse to our homes, Sir Isaac Walpole diskibered dat his umbreller was missin'. It was an um­ breller wid a white bone handle, an' it was an heirloom in hfa fatn'ly. His gran'fadder had walked under dat um­ breller, an' it had kept de rain off his fadder, an' he himself had owned it fur nigh upon thirty y'ars. It had been left in kyars an' on steamboats an' on de front doah steps, an' nobody had took it. He had brung it down heah 200 times, an' it war' alius waitin' fur him -sjrlien he got ready to go home. At las* some one stole it--some human hyena Iftid his desecrated paws on dat sacred velick an' bore it off We made eberv ^effort to find it, but de hunt was in vain." Den we settled down to wait fur Justice. She nebber sleeps. She sometimes does a good deal of foolin* around, an' dar am sometimes a mighty long wait between de ackts, but she nebber eleeps. She didn't go to sleep dis time. She war' lookin' fur you, an' yesterday she oberhauled you. You had Sir Isaac's umbreller under yer arm. Heah am de libin' proof to con­ vict you! You ar' de hyena who stole at, an' you ar' now befo' de bar of Justice! Prisoner, how do you plead?" Process stood there with his mouth open and could not reply. The sudden shock seemed to have paralyzed him. His guilt was as plain as the hind but­ tons on a coat. "De pusson who will steal an um­ breller under any saroumstances," con­ tinued the President, "desarves condine punishment. In dis case you stole it from a fellow-member of a society, an' you added <Je sin of lvin' to your crime, "i our name will be crossed off our books, •an' you will enter dis hall no mo' for- eber. De carryin' out of de Best of de sentence am left to Giveadam Jones an' Hercules Johnson. < ! % ! The prisoner was removed to the anti-room, and about a minute later Paradise Hall was shaken from roof to cellar. This was followed by a bump­ ing sound on the stairs leading to the alley, and this again by the sound of feet making a rush for "life. Brother Process Davis will doubtless remain in Canada during the rest of his life.-- Detroit Free Press. The Stevens Battery. . In 1841 Commodore Stevens, of New Jersey, foresaw the value of such a fort- tress, and urged upon Congress the con­ struction of a vessel built for that pur­ pose and embodying some inventions of his own. He sealed his faith in the scheme by contributing nearly $1,500, 000 toward the construction of it after Congress had consented to grant $500, 000. The "penny-wise and pound-fool­ ish" policy of nations is well illustrated in the history of this vessel, which Is here briefly told. The Stevens' iron-clad steam battery, as it was called, was begun in 1854. Her designers were Robert L. and Com modore Edwin A. Stevens, of Hoboken, N. J., at which place she was built, dimensions were: Length, 420 feet; breadth, 52 feet; depth, 28 feet, with a draft of water that could be varied from 17 feet to 22 feet when in an engage­ ment. Her boilers numbered ten, de­ veloping 8,600 horse power, with eight engines to drive two independent screw propellers. Her bunkers had capacity for 1,000 tons of coal. The deck was shot proof. The inclined armor on the sides consisted of 6f inchs of iron plates backed with 14 inches of locust timber and secured to 6 inch wrought iron griders. The Messrs. Stevens spent nearly half a million dollars on the vessel dur­ ing their lives, and on the Commodore's death he provided in his will that the vessel should be completed, besides sup­ plying machinery to the value of $1,000,- 000 to perform the work. When com' plete the vessel was by special act of Congress to be presented to the State of New Jersey. The State accepted the gift. The late Gen. McClellan was ap­ pointed to take charge of the work. When the vessel was ready for launch­ ing the funds provided for its comple­ tion proved insufficient, and the State of New Jersey in 1875 ordered the vessel sold. Here was an opportunity for the nation to secure "for a song" an iron­ clad which would have been the most formidable in the world even to this day. She was about ready for her armament. A few hundred thousands would have purchased her, and she would have been worth millions to-day. Did they purchase her? Nations are not so provident. She was sold for old junk, and so secuffclv were some of her parts put together that they had to be blasted apart. Thus do republics re­ ward the endeavors of their public- spirited citizens. The Meanest Man on Record. Georgia boasts of three stingy men. One of tli6m will not drink as much wa­ ter as he wants unless it is from an­ other man's well; the second requires his family to write a "small hand" to save ink, and the third stops his clock at night in order to save the wear and tear of the machinery. It is a small matter to boast of, but New Hampshire is not far behind the Empire State of the South in this direction. There lives in this State, or did a few months ago, a man who once presented a bill to the administrator of his father's estate for time lost in attending the old gen­ tleman's tunenL--ffanchester Untoh. BOB BUBDEH1SMH8. FADING AWAY. > * "Don't see so much of you lately as we used to, Dick." "No, ho; fact is, I reckon you don't see quite so much of me; you see I've been a little short this month." A BED FULL OF CBACKER CRUMBS. An exchange says: "Europe is sleep­ ing on bayonets." It is well for Europe since she has to lie on such a bed, that she can go to sleep. A country that con go to sleep on a bed of bayonets would regard a Mexican cactus as an eider-down quilt. A DEVELOPED MAN. "Lighthead," exclaimed his excellent wife, testily, "you are-a bigger fool than I took you to be." "Thanks," he said, gratefully, but meekly, "that is to say, I grow on you with longer acquaintance. Ah, my ownest own, you havent half found me Out yet." JUST THE THING. "Want a picture for your dining- room, eh?" said the dealer. "Yes," re­ plied the landlady, "and don't give me some gluttonous subject that will dis­ gust the boarders. Let me see some­ thing pretty and appropriate." "Cer­ tainly, ma'am; here's the very thing-- 'The Death of St Malachi.' " "How did he die ?" "He was starved to death." --Brooklyn Eagle. HE KNOWS WHAT HE 18 BUYING. A Chicago drummer, returning from a trip through Iowa, says: "You can find whisky in almost everything you buy in that State." Weil-er-ah-just one moment, brethern, before we de­ cide the case against Prohibition Iowa on the evidence of this witness. You will bear in mind that the Chicago drummer never buys anything unless iie is dead sure that it has whisky in it. The jury may now retire. THE BLIGHT OF LANDLORDISM. "Reginald" wants to know what is the "blight of landlordism" of which he reads so much. Well, we asked our landlord about it, and he said it was paying a plumber, a carpenter, a painter, and a plasterer $800 a year to keep a $600 house in repair, and then have the tenant take out the door bell, chande­ liers, and range, and skip with about three months' rent unpaid. He says there are some other blights in the landlord business, which any one may find out by building a few houseB to rent. INQUIRE WITHIN. "Husband in ?" asked the assessor cheerfully. "No," answered the woman, "he isn't home." "Expecting him soon ?" asked the assessor. "Well," the woman replied thoughtfully, "I don't know ex­ actly ; I've been lookin' for him seven­ teen years, and he hasn't shown up yet. You travel around a good deal, and if you see a man who looks as though he'd make me a pretty good husband, tell him I'm still waitin' and send him along. How's your wife?" But the assessor wrote something in his book and without speaking slid softly away, with the cautious haste of a man walk­ ing over a thin place in the ice. THOUGHTFUL THOUGHTS. TRUTH, like the sunbeam, oannot be soiled by any outward touch. IMITATION and sham in any charaoter are But synonyms for weakness. GREAT good often remains unaccom­ plished, merely because it is not at­ tempted. PRAISE is sometimes as hprtful as censure. It is as bad to be Mown into the air as it is to be cast into a pit. NOTHING sits so graciously upon chil­ dren as habitual respect and dutiful de­ portment toward their parents. WHEN death, the great reconciler, W come, it is never our tenderness that we repent of, but our severity. THE experience of each year, of our lives ought to enable us to spend every succeeding one better than the last. WHEN" you haven't any money--never mind. This is philosophy. Hurry around and earn some. This is com­ mon sense. Do NOT all that you can; spend not all that you have; believe not all that you hear, and tell not all that jou know. INDEPENDENCE and self-respect are es­ sential to happiness, and these are never to be attained together without work. IT is easy enough to tell what you know about everybody else, but hard to tell what everybody else knows about you. BE not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, sinbe you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. WE have not a muscle whose laws of strength is not action; we have not a faculty of body, mind, or soul whose laws of improvement is not energy. MANY a man thinks it's virtue that keeps him from turning rascal, when it is only a full stomach. One should be careful, and not mistake potatoes for principles. WE get accustomed to mental as well as bodily pain, losing our insensibility to it; it becomes a habit of our lives, and we cease to imagine a condition oi perfect ease as possible to us. Benton's Departure from Congress. The close of the session reminds me of the last night of the Thirty-third Congress in the House of Representa­ tives. The Senate sent over 145 amend­ ments to the Sundry Civil Appropria­ tion bill, and it was 8 o'clock in the morning before they were disposed of by a committee of conference. Mr. Pratt then asked whether it would be in order to have the restaurant servants bring in breakfast. "Let me amend the question," Mike Walsh, "by having cocktails and whisky-punches introduced also." A conversational debate followed, during which some very clever things were said, and at last the Sergeant-at- Arms reported a quorum present. Sev­ eral bills were then passed under a sus­ pension of the rules, and during the taking of the yeas and nays the Clerk called Mr. Benton's name, when that gentleman appeared at the door of the main aisle, and protested, with violent gesticulation, against his name being called. He said he was an ex-member, and that the session that day was a libel on the Sabbath. Some confusion followed this episode, when the Speaker, pro tem. Mr. Orr, told the gentleman that he was out of order. "I am .not a member," growled Mr. Benton. "Then," promptly retorted Mr. Orr, "if the gentleman is not a member, the doorkeeper will put him out." Mr. Benton did not say another word, but taking the package in which he had tied up the contents of his desk he left the House, thus, on March 4, 1855, closing a Congressional career that lie had commenced in the Senate on Au­ gust 10, 1821.--Ben: Perley Poorfu m dibantf Journal §E;|P ILLINOIS LEGISLATURE. THE bill making an appropriation of 3227,000 for the Northern Insane Aaylnm at Elgin passed tlM Senate on the 29th nit. Senator Adams called up the Ruby hi« bill on third reading, and it passed without a dissenting vote. It is' intended to out oil irregular saloons outside the jpnjjjrato limits of cities and towns. Senator Grabtree # bill to suppress bucket-shops was a , third time and passed. Senator Cochran 8 bill waking amendments to the board of health act was read a second time and advanced. In the House of Representatives the bill prohibiting any heir from taking more than S500.000 by devise or deceit was sent to third reading. Mr. Decker s change of venue bill came np on a motion to re­ consider the vote adopting an amendment which materially changed the bill. The mo­ tion to reoonsider prevailed, and the bill was sent to th|rd reading. Mr. Ruby desired to offer a resolution instructing the Committee on Railroads to report his two-cent, fare ball. The House refused - to suspend the rules for this purpose. • Mt Morrasy's bill per­ mitting municipalities to acquire title to and carry school property was passed. The bill of Mr. Converse allowing county judges to appoint oil inspectors outside of cities and viUages was also passed after striking out the emergency clause. Mr. Murphy called up and had passed hia bill authorizing cities to hold kindergarten schools, and Mr. Campbell got up and had sent to third reading his bill amendinu the law regarding the State printing and the manner of letting the contracts. The classes are reduced from six to four, making two classes of binding and two of printing, the maximum is reduced 35 per cent., and the com­ missioners are empowered to annul any con­ tract if it shall come to their knowledge that such was obtained through combination. THK Senate held a short, session and trans­ acted but little business on the 2d inst. Sena­ tor Burke had ihe House insolvent debtors bill read a first time and referred to the Judiciary Committee. Senator H&con, of Kdgar, intro­ duced a bill enabling cities and villages to levy a half- mill tax for library purposes. Senator Curtiss called up the House bills making ap­ propriations for repaira on the State House, to pay the expenses of the Moonoy murder trial on change of venue to Lake County, and to pay Manuel H. Bo&Ss, and had them referred to the Committee on Appropriations. In the House of Representatives the Senate bill abolishing bucket-shops was read a ft rut time and sent to the Committee on Judicial Department. The Senate bill enabling Coroners to draw warrants upon the County Treasury for the services of jurors in inquest eases was read a second time and sent to a third reading, the Houso bill of a similar charaoter being laid upon the table. The Senate alien bill was read a first time, and a discussion arose as to its disposition. A strong effort was made to send the bill to the Commit­ tee on Judiciary, but it failed, and the measure was advanced to third reading. Several bills of a minor charaoter were advanced on tha cal­ endar. SENATOR HADLKT'S bill revising the law in re­ lation to township organization passed the Sen- on the 3d inst. The House bill providing for the eleotion of six additional Judges of the Cook County Circuit Court also passed the Sen­ ate. The bill making an appropriation of (113,- 500 for the Soldiers' Orphans' Home at Normal, and the bill appropriating $227,000 for the Southern Hospital for the Insane at Anna, were advanced on the calendar. Senator Hogan's bill providing a way for the release of surety upon the bond of a guardian, Conservator, etc., was sent to the order of third reading. In the House of Representatives Mr. Crafts introduced a new Chicago drainage bill. The Committee on Railroads made a report con­ cerning alleged violation of the law by the Ohio and Mississippi Railroad. It finds that said oom- Sany has neglected or refused to have resident irectors, etc., and a general office In Illinois for the transfer of stock, It recommends a pro­ cedure in mandamus by the Attorney General of the State, and action by the State's Attor­ neys of the counties through which the road runs. The resolution was adopted. The House Sassed Mr. Crafts' bill empowering trustees to edicate portions of school lands for streets and highways. THK House alien bill, which cams up in the Senate on the 4th inst. as the special order, was, on motion of Senator Johnson, postponed for two weeks. Senator Curtiss, from the special com­ mittee to iuvestgate the manner of letting the printing contracts, presented the majority re­ port, which was read. Senator Setter presented a minority report as an amendment to the ma­ jority, and at the conclusion of its reading Pres­ ident Smith laid before the Senate the protest of H. W. Rokker & Co. Bills were Introduced as follows: By Senator Gibbs, to organize Chicago into a drainage district; by Senator Thomp­ son, providing that probate courts may reject executors of wills if not competent persons to hold a trust. The appropriation bills were taken up and passed, as follows : For Kar and Eye Infirmary at Chicago, $50,000 ; for salary of State officers and members of the Thirtv-sixth General Assembly, sHM.OOO; Illinois Dairy­ men's Association, (WOO ; Illinois State Horticul­ tural Society, St.oOO; State Reform School at 1'ontiac, $105,300; Deaf and Dumb Asylum at Jacksonville, 55210,50!); Southern Illinois Peni­ tentiary at Chester, $101,'200; Institute for Blind at Jacksonville, 8«e,900; Mtafee Board ot Agri­ culture, tW.500; Illinois Ktate Normal Univer­ sity, (42,00 •; Eastern InsamAsylum at Kanka­ kee, (540,000, and 810,000 Vp* repairs upon the Lincoln monument. The HVrnse of Representa­ tives passed Mr.C'ooIey's bill appropriating 000for the support of the Illinois National Guard, Mr. Campbell's bill providing penalties for the manufacture and sale of adulterated and com­ pounded liquors, Mr. Gray's bill re­ quiring the recording by County Clerks of the bonds of justices and constable, Mr. Lowry's amendment to the practice act, permitting Masters in Chancery to issue writs of certiorari where common-law process of a similar nature is allowable under existing law, Mr. Fuller's bill providing for the licensing by authorities of cities and towns of itinerant merchants, and Mr. Merritt's bill for the sup­ pression of anarchists; A bill appropriating »25,00) for the rebuilding of the public build­ ings of Cumberland County, lately destroyed by fire, failed to pass by a vote of yeas 47 to nays 42. THE State Fair location bill was taken up in the Senate on the 5th inst., and by a vote of 28 to SO was recommitted to the Committee on Agriculture. Consideration of the reports on the State printing contracts was poatjjoned for one week, and 500 copies of the testimony were ordered printed. Seuator Funk's bill chauging the time for publication of the reports of the State charitable institutions to September and June was passed, as was also the bill of Senator Humphrey increasing the fees of the County Clerk, Clerk of tha Criminal Court, and the Recorder of Deeds of Cook County from St,000 to 85,000. In the House of Representatives the Hurd drainage bill came up. An amendment offered by Mr. Browne, of LaSalle, providing lor the purchase of a sewage farm within twenty miles of the limits of any city taking advantage of the act. and the erection thereon of sewage works, was adopted by a vote of ti!) to 54, whereupon the friends of the Hurd meas­ ure declared that it settled the whole question, and Mr. Hurd announced there was no use of attempting to push tbe bill with the amend­ ment attached. The \Mnston bill was then taken up and read a second time. The commit­ tee of the House appointed to investigate the charges of ex-Architect Randolph against the Trustees of the Soldiers and Sailors' Home sub­ mitted their report and it was unanimously adopted. It completely exont rates the Trustees. Mr. Kavlowski introduced a bill to prohibit the teaching of foreign languages in public schools. Mr. O'Connor offered a bill permitting the suing of non-residents in the Btato when service can be made here. The House bill permitting the nse by railways of the interlocking switch and signal system, Mr. Docker's bill giving creditors of assignees of judgment debtors the same right to redeem as cred­ itors of tbe original judgment debtors, Mr. Wilson's bill enlarging the present statute respecting the abduction of females for pur­ poses of prostitution, Mr. lluby's bill for the consolidation of the countv and township school funds, and Mr. Reynolds' bill providing for the canvassing of the result of elections of school trustees, v.ere passed. Mr. Jones' (of Sangamon) bill exempting ex-soldiers and sail­ ors over 40 years of age from payment of poll- tax failed to pass. THEG.A. & VINjagfc$g> Addretj of General J. M. TtotUe, Coa> '% " m*nder of the • «f Iowa, fa tfce tap jM Major Jimmy Bass. u Uncle Remus" tells in the Century a story of Southern life, whose scene is laid at the beginning of and during the war. One of the characters is Major Jimmy Bass, who is apt to get excited, and once had "cussed out the town." The following bit gives a pen-picture of the Major's remarkable campaigns at Perdue's Corner: "Sometimes be­ tween dozes he would make his way to Perdue's Corner and discuss the vari­ ous campa gns. How many desperate campaigns were fought on that corner! All the old soldiers, who found it con­ venient or necessary to stay at home, had in them tbe instincts and emotions of great commanders, 'lhey knew how defeat could bo wrung from victory, and how success could be made more overwhelming. At Perdue's Corner Washington City was taken not less than a dozen times a week, and occa­ sionally both -New York and Poston were captured and sacked. Of all the generals who fought their battles at the corner, Major Jimmy Bass was the most energetic, the most daring, and th# most skillful. As a strategist he had no superior. He had a way of il­ lustrating the feasibility of his* plans by drawing them in tbe sand with his cane. Fat as be wa«, the Major had a way of 'surrounding' the enemy so that no avenue was left for his escape. At i'erdue's Corner he captured Scott and McClellan and Joe Hooker and John Pqpe, and held «* prisoners of war. ^ ;,„w ^ :x,- ^ . I ' • . 1 V > : t ' ' . - COMRADES : I thank yon lor your kind Wel­ come and hearty congratulations upon my M- u>g placed again in commaad of the Iowa bat­ talions, when it seems to be necessary farta* Grand Army of the Republic to defend Itself and resent the foul insinuations and chalfee ot those who have aiw&yt bMn our nniiniini b0tfe during the war ana sinee its close! This de­ fense seems to be necessary from the feet that young men are eomlng upon the stags of irtifwi who are not acquainted personally, and Buurf older men have apparently forgotten tbe sptrit that actuated the volunteers and their character as men of veracity, integrity, and patriotism, ana who are now our leading men in all the walks of life. When these men vol­ unteered they knew not what pay they were to receive^ they asked no questions about tfeey did »6t care apparently whether they wste paid or not. Nothing of a mercenary character entered their minds. The slave-holders rebelled and they hastened to fill np " ranks to put them down. Thev accepted 13 small compensation without a murmur. They performed their duty like honest men. and de­ serve tha treatment that should be awarded to honest men now. After the war had been going on for a vear or two we heard that there were men in the North showing a disposition to dis­ courage us and sympathize with our enemiee, called us hirelings and mercenaries, and did everything they ooeld to discourage enlist­ ments to fill up oar decimated ranks. TStsy held public meetings, and declared the war a failure, and resolved that the South never eouM be conquered, and that oar armies should be withdrawn. We paid no attention to this ftxe in tbe rear, we did not appreciate their strength nor attach as much importance to their move­ ments as it deserved, as we have found oat since. "SVe knew that wp were right, that we were fighting in a just cause, and pushing our bayonets int > the heart of the monster re­ bellion, and did not stop to hear or care what was beine said at our backs. We fought the enemy with zeal, courage, and integrity. We conquered them after many of UB had lost oar lives, and many others had been crippled Car life, or lost their health beyond recovery, and when we returned hotne we received the praises of all. The enemy in arms lied sur­ rendered, and their sympathizers deemed it prudent to remain silent. None had the temerity then to say anything to our diseredit. Years passed and we found many of our cm- rades worthy, honest men and brave aoldiws, whose health had betn rained by hard ttttfooM and exposure, both in the field and in theprisasi pens of the South, totally disabled from Min­ ing a living, but who found it impossible to pro­ duce the evidence, either on account at the death of their officers or comrades who bad knowledge of the commencement ot thetr dia- abiHties, to prove to the Pension Department that they had been disabled in the swtdee. The Grand Army of the Republte, knowing their deserts, took up their cause and asked Congress to pass a general bill allowing all soldiers now disabled Mid unable to earni liv­ ing, regardless of how or when such disability had been incurred, that would secure then the money that honestly belonged to then. Coa- gress passed a bill substantially in compliance with our request, with great unanimity, for which those who voted for it have oar sincere thanks. The President vetoed the Mil, and In giving his reasons for doing so stated oar army had been well paid, and he thought that enough had been done for them In the #af of pensions. And in concluding his reasons for vetoing the bill stated that to allow it to pasa "would increase perjury and encourage dis­ honesty." In other words, that we are all liars and per­ jurers, as well as mendicants, and are not to he trusted nor believed when we would give evi­ dence in favor of our disabled comrades. His principal organ in the West defended the veto and repeated all the vile names and insinua­ tions against as, calling us names that It would not do to repeat to a polite audience, and said; "The action of the President in veoting »<« in­ famous bill would suppress that """frhrttnt nuisance, the Grand Army of the KepuBlio." That editor was never mere mistaken in bbt life. The Grand Army of the Hepublio tan no more be suppressed now than when they met the armed rebels in the field. I thinks the President and that editor had been at Dubuque this week they would have concluded that oar suppression was not yet accomplished. They would have seen thousands of honest, earnest, and intelligent men who had all risked their lives to save their country, *im all. regardless of party ties, condemning their actions «ad words in language not to be misunderstood. They were the representatives ot SO.OOOvoten in the state of Iowa; were old Soldiers with Jtood records, determined to vindicate and have ustioe done to their old comrades, where need- iogvasslsianee. AU were indignant stthe veto message and the approving article in the cagq newspaper. Tfcere are men in all political parties llrtln offlee and asking the snttrages of their follow cltijsecs. They have pronounced the soldier nttion a chestnut, that the old soldiers have enough, that they ask too much, that it is time for them to take a back seat in the con­ duct of affairs. We dont think so. We m- pose to organize more thoroughly than ever We intend to recruit as fast as possible all the old soldiers of Iowa and ask them to join our organization and stand with us in defease our honor and integrity, and woe be to the as­ piring politician, regardless of party, who »•*?« not convince us that he is tbe soldiers' ton* friend. We are told, and it is true, th.t gome soldier Congressmen voted for this bill wad afterward voted to sustain the veto. Some sol­ diers never had their hearts in our cause, and it is not surprising that a few of them have got­ ten to Congress. Thank God, none of our Iowa Congressmen made such a record. There never was a good cause but had its traitors, and our cause is not an exception. Party polities ia our organisation, as you all are well aware. Is strictly prohibited, bus 1 do not regard our rulss to prohibit us from defending ourselves when attacked as an organization and our oomradee traduoed and vilified and their character far veracity and integrity questioned by the bigh- est officer in our land. 1 think this is no more of a political epeeefc thaa one I made to the Iowa boys when statid­ ing in line of battle at Shilob, and tbe enemy rapidly approaching in their front. Hiding along the lines I urged them to * Stand your ground, take good aim, and fire low, and re­ member tbe record of Iowa soldiers at Wilson's Creek and Fort Donelson." That was a short speech, and might now be considered political, but it had the efiect at the time, perhaps, of giving the boys confidence, and may have had something to do with causing them to maka their position to be called by the rebels "the hornet's nest." In Andersonville Prison in August, 1864. were confined 33,0(M Union soldiers, suffering all tile pangs of torment, sick and starving; anxious to see their homes and their families, suffering which at this day seems incredible. Sufferings and punishments as great or greater as »lm«i any sava ;e nation on earth would inflict. Djr ̂ log at the rate of ten per cent, each months thousands of them unable to rise to their ft-et. In this fearful emergency agents of the rvbal government approached them with liberty and plenty to eat if they would take the oath Ot allegiance to ttio Confederacy, aud a money bounty if they would enlist in their armies. Out of all that number they found but seventy men who would thus forswear their cause aud desert their tiag. and rather than do so they stayed and died at the rate of over a hundred eacii day--and thuen whose lives were saved are yet physical wrecks almost to a man, and entirely unable, in conse­ quence of being in a rebel prison, of provim that they got their disabilities in the service. Were they mercenaries, hirelings, dishonest men, aud not to be trusted f I think not. .1 would rather trust them on oath than tbe Presi­ dent, or editor before mentioned. Men possess­ ing the integrity that they showed there era • worthy to be trusted anywhere aud under ail circumstances. Dr. Frlsbie speaks of higher powers. I ask no higher power than to be ia Command of all the soldiers of Iowa. I case sot what regiments they served in; they are all Iowa soldiers now. Our State made a glorioite record during the war. The troops of no State in the Union made a better on& They ' e. J conspicuous in all the great battles of the Week and we that went from the then young State el Iowa are proud of the record that not a poor regiment went from the State. Many of theaa soldiers have left the State, aud many othem come in their places, and we are now all a baud of brothers together, and an honor con* - ferred on any man by them , is as high aa an* civil office in the gift of the people, aud it i-i otlp mission now to show the people that we are nap a nuisance, not a set of dead-beats ud nnffaj' coolers. : ' ALL SORTS. MoKVXXKTAii GAVII--the Freaeh giaijl in the circus. ^ AN exchange asks, "Where an we look for our rising young men?" Not street car, anyhow, THIRTEEN M an unlock; number at % boarding-house table where there is dinner enough for tweUe. A NEW through sleeping-car from New York to San Francisco is to tie called Kind* ness, because kindness goes a long ways. It A MODEST New Jersey girl will not alifi low her young man to kiss her in the potat» field because her father plants the hraatgr- four-eyed potato. MOTHER (reading*--^"France uses PENT .V«! ZJS, •«r for fuel." Child (listening)--"What diift * ^ they born him for, mamtna? "Burn who* «vi '>'/ Bessie?" "Why, Pete." \ " ; 'JS;. * ... 1 ; "MADAM," said a gentleman to a lady. ( 'pardon me, bat your hair w coming down. • "is coming oat.*