The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Sv" the. one 4 . A IMf About ft BacoMStal M.H. 1 ' / Here la a story about a well-know^ railroad man which a Chicago rail- roatfor, who used to work with him, relates. It is about William M. Cle­ ments, who leaves the Erie Express to become general manager of the Balti­ more'A Ohio Railroad cast of the Oh|o , River, and is from the columns of the I New York Sun: Clements1 career has been a remark- * able one in many respects, ana he cer­ tainly is a remarkable man in every respect. Prior to the war he was a freight conductor on the Baltimore® Ohio, and he first met John W. Gar­ rett, then president of the road, near Wheeling, W. Va. Three rear cars of Conductor Clements' train were de­ railed one day near Wheeling, and Clements took the red signal and went back to flag an express, which he knew was following. He sent the engineer and fireman ahead to stop all trains coming from that direction and to get assistance, hurriedly calling out to a stupid brakeman: "Pull the train ahead about a hundred yards." The rear cars had commenced to burn from the broken stove in the caboose, and Clements wanted to save the valu­ able freight in the others. The brake- man climbed aboard the engine, but was too stupid to open the throttle. The whole train was burned, causing a loss of over $73,000. When Clements returned to the scene with some of the passengers from the express, which he had stop­ ped half a mile away, he looked at the • burning cars, and, stepping up to stupid brakeman, floored him with powerful blow. A stout, quiet-looking passenger walked up to Clements ana said: '*Why did you desert your trainP You could have sent that man back with the flag and saved these cars yourself. It seems to me that you ilon't know your business." Clements is a broad shouldered six footer, and when he glared at his au­ dacious critic many people supposed there would be another knock-aown. "Why, you d-- fool!" he replied, con­ temptuously, "do you suppose I was going to trust that man. I knew he was a fool, like yourself, and that's the reason I let htm monkey with the cars while I went back to look after human lives." "Conductor, do you know who I am?" "No; and I don't care a d--!" ••I am John W. Garrett." "Well, I don't care if vou are. If vou value freight more than human lives, I don't And I will burft up a dozen trains before I'll let one of your Cheap John brakemen kill a few dozen people." Clements stalked away and busied himself directing the wrecking crew engaged in clearing the track. Old man Garrett looked quietly on without uttering another word. The following week Clements was made a passenger conductor, whereas every one sup­ posed that he would be discharged. He rose steadily until he became mas­ ter of transportation of the whole road. At the Inarriage of the Marechale Catherine, Gen. Booth's daughter, to Col. Clibborn at the Salvation Army barracks, the young woman, tall and excitable, as well as rather a comely creature, as soon as the marriage was over sang a song of which one line was not very encouraging to the newly married husband. The line was "We'll fight and never tire," and to illustrate her meaning in worldly fashion she squared off at her husband in true pugilistic shape, dodging her head and shifting her ground, and with much spirit sne battered him about consider­ ably. The immense crowd screamed ana shouted. It was too much for the excitable nature of Gen. Booth. He dragged out his venerable spouse, and they sparred right merrily at each other. When tnat tired them both couples began a frenzied breakdown hanging on to each other's waists. Madge Meet* the Newspaper Men. Here we found a host of celebrities, novel writers, journalists, stars of the stage, theosophists, and other lights. It was an entertaining gathering, but I must confess, dear, that I am always a little afraid of very clever people. I have always sympathized with poor Affery in "Little Dorritt," when she spoke with awe and fear and bated breath of "the two «clever ones," with whom she knew herself at such a dis­ advantage. I suppose she felt as would a poor little gas burner when the elec­ tric light is turned on. That is how I feel in the presence of celebrities. I never know when these lions .re going to roar something which will take us ail out of the pleasant shadows and leave us floundering in deep water. I don't mind lady novelists. They are gener­ ally pleasant and good-natured who like the shallows themselves. But I distrust your journalist, never know- ing when he is going to broach some fearful subject, such as the whereabouts of the lost tribes (a matter to which I have never devoted a thought); or the intellectual condition of the inhabitants of Jupiter's moons (which does not in­ terest me); or, prehistoric man, and whether he used toothpicks, and how much his cigar bill came to every month; or how table napkins were fold­ ed in the ark; or if Eve peeled the ap­ ple before she ate it, and if so, what she peeled itwith;if Jezebel wore high heels; or if the Babylonians consumed their own smoke; or what form of grace be­ fore meat was used by the cassowary before he ate the missionary's hymn book; or what words were the first ever spoken by a parrot, and what the man thought who heard them; or what kind of soap Helen of Troy preferred for the hands and complexion. To have such topics suddenly sprung upon one is dis­ concerting. But perhaps the man who launches a Greek quotation at the head of an unoffending female interloc­ utor is the worst offender. This is the trying phrase of literary society. How­ ever, 1 escaped pretty well Monday,and enjoyed my surroundings. It was pleas­ ant to see one or two well-known pub­ lishers mingling freely with the authors and not in the least afraid. I had understood that they were deadly ene­ mies, and at first regarded their mutual proximity with apprehension. But it Was all right. Nobody hurt any­ body, and sweetest peace reigned o'er the scene.--Madge in London Truth. The Indians on the Squaxin Reserva­ tion, in Washington Territory, hold monthly term-of court for the purpose of adjudicating matters between the Indians there. The court is composed of three judges and a clerk, and it has arrived at such a point of dispute in several cases that Superintendent Eells, of the Puyallup Agency, was sent for. A few days ago Mr* Eells left Tacoma for the reservation, where lie will act as the Supreme Court# and decide all matters in dispute iu the Court below. Summer t Attractidhk! McHENHY. - - AN ENTIRE NEW STOCK OF Including all the Latest Styles, Shades, and Textures, in Dress Goods, Silks Surahs, Satins, Novelties, Velvets, plain striped and brocaded. Nearly 100 different styles of fancy Plaids and Stripes* Nain­ sook Checks and Victoria Lawns. Embroidered Robes in all the newest designs and colors. Suti Umbre'las and Parasols in all newest designs. The finest stock ever brought to McHenry. Look them over. In Shawls, Scarfs, Jackets und Wraps, we have the most complete and Cheapest assortment ever shown iu this section. In this Department can be found one of the laigest stocks of Ready Made Clothing in McHeury County, which for style, finish and general make-up cannot be excelled. Our prices are very moderate and we are confident we can please you. Grive us a trial. : • ; I BOOTS AND SHOES. I The coming season will find u's supplied with our usual complete line of CHLDREHS, KISSES, LSD LADIES SHOES. 4h In all the latest styles and novelties, also ar fine line of Mens and Boys Shoes* Which will be found up to their usual standard of excelence We have one of the choicest stocks ot* Groceries, Canned Goodfc, etc., in McHenry. C R O C K E R Y / Just received a beautiful assortment of Decorated Crockery, call and see it. Stock complete, including a very large line of standard Patent Medicines. We study«to please and guarantee every article we sell to be as represented. Thanfctul tor past favors, we hope by liberal, fair dealing to merit a generous share of your appreciated patronage. H E N R Y C O L B Y . RICHARD BISHOP, t DEALER Iff ALL KIHD3 OF, --OF- m -AT- WOODSTOCK, IJLjJL, In order to mike room for one ot the largest stocks Fall and Wintw Ever to Woodstock or into McHeur^ ^ouhty, jf for the next thirty days sell our spring and summer goods al r KEATLY REDUCED PRIC E8. CONSISTING i, Low Shots and Tor Also 11 extra laijjo stock of Misses'and Children's Fine Shoes, Walking Shoes and Toe Slippers, and Bo/s and Youth's Lace, Con­ gress and Button Shoes in all the latest styles. N. B.--House Established In 1665. :.;m SHADI 1UO f ^ ^ •. i flO. >••••*• ,/ u. i • i V- i. -•! IS HEADQUARTERS FOR-- GOOD BABGAINS. We have just received a new and complete Stock of all kinds of New and Seasonable Goods such as Which we offer at very popular prices, FOR CASH. Don't wait for a second invitation, but come at once and see how we deal, and learn our prices. Butter, Eggs, etc. taken in exchange for Goods-, allowing highest market price. ALTHOFF BROS. McHenry, 111., March 28th, 1887. To the Farmers of McHenry County and Vicinity: I am now prepared to show' a new and clean assortment of Agricultural Implements second to none in the county and at prices that I am confident will pay you to investigate before mak­ ing your purchases, a ml Ik If you want to own the best, behold it here, finely finished, well proportioned, light running, durable, superior quality, unex­ celled. Do you want a wagon? If so examine the Bishop before you buy. • O W E R 9 1 Look at the McCormick Steel Mower, McCormick No. 1 Zand No. 2; tb€ Tied, White and Blue; the N. C. Thompsons I Crown; and don't forget that |3S buys a Thompson. R A K K 8 » I have the old reliable Holllngsworth, that never fails to please. The Star, Taylor and eteran. which is the best self-dump rake on the market, and to examine is only to become nvlnced. ^, # ..J The'McCormick Steel Harvester atill stands at the head in all field contests, and never nils to out and pick up down and tangled gr»in.| iLook at one before you buy. 4 R. BI8HOP; TO Has recently pat in a fall new stock of S H E L F A N D Heavy Minn Which he will sell at such prices as will makeitan object for every person, when in McHenry, to call if in want of any Uoods in his line. A FULL LIBS OF STOVES. f<* , r,'., ! The closest competition in this, or »ny other towu, 0ta aU Sum­ mer Goods still on hand, and which must and will be sold to make room for fall goods. White "Robes, „ 1 White Skirt*, u B5 Summer Sha#ti; Straw Bats, * Q loves and Mitti* I Laces! White (joot^'^31- Parasols, s. ^ ? Fans, . '-••v ' Lawns, V v Seersucker!# ' / Swiss Embroideriiif Lawns Reduced from 8c. to 6c.--7c* to 56, Good Values! No Humbug! We are in a position and have the Goods to offer our patrons some goods deals in . fr C L O T H X E T 9 1 The celebrated all wool Deat. Suit, only $10.00, ^ Fancy Scotch Cheviot^, all wool, bnly $8.50. Boots, Shoes, Rubbers, Our new Fall Stock of above goods has arrived. We carry a large iissortment of styles, sizes, grades and widths, and fully warrant a 11 goods stamped O. -1|. Farg;0 & Co. Prices the lowest considering quility. L. Candee Rubbers, best on earth. Overalls, Shirts, Jackets, Trunks, Valises, Bags, etc. CROCKERY, GLASSWARE, Choicest 1887 Teas. No* 1 Rockford Flour, $1.05. Reaching for Part of Your Trade, Bonslett & Stoffel. JOHN I. STORY |3gF°One Door West; of the Riverside House, DEALER IN For both Coal and Wood, of the best makes, always on hand. ^ J O B B I N G A N D R E P A I R I N G , Promptly attended to. A share of Public Patronage respectfully solicited. tore opposite Bishop's Mill, McHenry, June 20th, 1887, H. V. SHEPARD- Snmt, Es~w> > Hut. T O C U R E RHEUMATISM. This remedy has a specific action upon the fluids or the body, supplying moisture to the tissues and jnhrjcatlng the joint* affected by the disease. No • •' DI»torted Ithaba remain after a cure by tnis specific. A trial of a single bottle will convince the moetseeptical that we have not u«ld half Its vir- *ne*- . Price gl.OO per bottle. For sale by all WIBRIKS. Manufactured only by LENNEY MEDICINE CO., CHftNQA. ILLINOIS. VtjsC: Practical Fainter aid Decorator, HEBRON, ILt. Decorating, Paper-Hanging/ CAICIMINING, GRAINING. &c Done on short notice and satisfaction guftran- .teed. Oali on or address, H. FISH, IIL, HsylU, 1887. w. p. ST; West McHenry, DEALER IN anil Heayy Hardware, Stoves, Tin, Copper and Sheet-Iron Ware -1 full STOCK at THE OBLEDRATED-- PENINSULAR GASOLINE STOVES, Come and see oar Galvanized Iron Kerosene Tanks, that we make ourselves, that wil; h0lTheb Church Swivel Hay Carrier, with Tracks, Hangings. Floor Hooks and Pulleys, the best in the market. Call and seo it. TPTTT.T. T-TTTE OF STOVES. For both coal and wood, of the best makes,always on hand. In short I will keep everything in the Hardware line, to be found in McHenry county. Do not to call when in want of ainrthing in my Hqo and see what can be done. I have employed a first class Tinner, and all Bealey'a Famous Waukegao Alt and' Porter - - On draught at J. Bonslett's, A, W*- gleu'i Md JoLu Heimer'Ss Also the Celebrated* . Qarknd Stoves and Ranges, Gasolene and Oil Stoves and Ranges. And in short, everything in the Hardware, Stove and Tin Line. Q REPAIRING Promptly Attended To. JOHN I- STORY- McHenry, III., May 18th,51887 -DEALER in- JT0BBXNa AND B1PAIBP Will be done on short notice and atlsfaetion Guaranteed. A specialty of Butter Factory work. A share of public patronage respectfully solicited. ̂ Wi p. STEVENS, TINWARE, Table and Pocket Cutlery, Spades, Shovels, Forks, Bakes, Nails, etc. Building Hardware a specialty. Fishing Tackle and Gun M&tcri^ls ©to# Fancy Groceries, Flour, and everything belonging to a First Class Grocery, Cigars and Tobacco, Pipes, etc. COMB JLZSD SEE ME. You run no risk. 1 guarantee my prices to average lower than any other house in the county, I guarantee everything that goes out ot my Store or money returned. What risk do you __ M* ENGELlii Near the lion Bridge, McHenry, 111,