The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

?3^- . -j %* •£? iasy-' "i • l%y ,, •: §^e'4' fr;* • -: 4-' ' .'0, &«: •• #1 & fer; Ik. IW> Sf^ Pfc '-f" Wk. "The maa is so hstd joa might drfyo « broad-#h«*ele<l vagoa over him Mitt todd jBraOttoo ao impression. If yom ware to bore holes latum with a gimlet lam ooHtinoed sawdust would ooma out of him. If eTexyttuhg is to be saerifioed to utility why do you bury your grandmother at all ? way donrt you cut her into snudl piece* at once and make portable soup of her?" Children are excellent physiognom­ ists aad soon discover their real friends, liuttmll calls them lunatics, and so in fact they are. What is childhood but . • series of happy delusions?" •' - Hearing a friend was about to marry ' ft fat woman, Smith exclaimed: "Going fo marry her! Impossible! You mean • part of her. He could not marry her all himself. It would be a case not of bigamy but of trigamy. There is enough of her to famish wives for the whole parish. One matt marry her!-- it is monstrous! Ton might'people a dolour with her, or give an assembly With her, or perhaps take your morn­ ing's walk around her, always provided there were frequent resting places and you were in rude health. I was once rash enough to try walking around her before breakfast, but only got half way tad gave it up exhausted- Or you might read the riot act and disperse *er." « Smith's advice to a yotrag lady was, live always in the best company when Su read. No one in youth thinks on e value of time. If yon .live to 72 your life is spent in the following man­ ner: An hour a day is three years; this makes twenty-seven years sleeping, ftine years dressing, nine years at .. table, six yearn playing with children, Bine years walking, drawing, and visit­ ing, six years shopping and three years quarreling. J think breakfast so pleasant because *> one is conceited before 1 o'clock. M The charm of London is that you are sever glad or sorry for ten minutes to­ gether ; in the country you ar eone or the other for weeks. He was asked if a certain bishop was «aing to marry. "Perhaps he may," as the reply; "yet how can a bishop jftarry? how can he flirt f The most he can say is: 'I will see you in the •estry after service.'" Daniel Webster struck me like a engine in trowsers. I like pictures without knowing any­ thing about them, but I hate coxcombry In the fine arts, as well as in anything else. I got into dreadful disgrace with Sir George Beaumont who, standing before a picture, exclaimed, turning to me: "Immense breadth of light and Shade?" I innocently said: "Yes, about an inch and a half." He gave pe a look that ought to ftave killed Don't talk to me of not being able to fugh a speaker down. Try the whoop-g-cough. „ My idea of Heaven is eating foie gran ..•p the sound of trumpets. "Vi The only way to deal with such a man ^vfjs Daniel O'Connell is to hang him and ,3irect a statue to him under his gallows. f 'Don't you know there are three sexes ••#f-Men, women and clergymen? Dante may be a great poet, but as to lventing tortures I consider him a mere lungler--no imagination, no knowledge Of the human heart. If I had taken it in hand I would have shown you what torture really was. For instance you, Hacaulay, you should be dumb. False dates and facts of the reign of Queen Anne should forever be shouted in your „_(iars; all liberal and honest opinions * fllhould be ridiculed in your presence |ind you should not be able to say a jingle word in their defense. "And what would you condemn me " to?" asked a young mother. "Why, you should forever see those ree little children of yours on the Dint of falling down stairs and never able to save them." Yes, you find people ready enough to do the Good Samaritan without the . 0il and two pence. The Bishop of Blank is so like Judas fat I now firmly believe in the Apos-lical succession. As an illustration of English hospi­ tality _ Smith declared that when the American historian Presoott came to Jfcngland a Caspian Sea of soup awaited - Simplicity is a great object in a great book; it is not wanted in a short one. Brought Near the Gallows. If you are muoh accustomed to faoes lb the cities of Lewistown and Auburn, •ays the Lewistown, (Me.,) \Journal, you will occasionally meet a thin, spare ^ ,lban of about GO yearB, taciturn, gen­ erally alone, who has a remarkable his- .Jhorj. About twenty years ago he lived J-igt West Auburn, and he oame within a hair's breadth of being hung for a mur­ der he never committed. I met this s1han of strange history a few days ago " and fell into conversation with him. /The man is Luther J. Verrill, whom Clifton Harris, a colored man, charged ' %ith being a party to the murder of Iwo maiden ladies, at West Auburn, ifltae wild, snowy night in January, ,1868. It chanced that I was present, •w the Thomaston prison jail-yard, when tllifton Harris was hung for this mur-er, and I heard him acknowledge he *raB alone in that crime and that Verrill t§ras not with him, and I told Ver- till I was a witness of that execution id saw the murderer put into his oof- (n under the gallows. . "Well, I never believed the nigger / Was hung,1* said Verrill, "and I have hunted a good deal to find somebody Sho saw the hanging, and I am glad i find somebody at last I remember feeing you at my trial. The jury, you Ifnow, found me guilty on the nigger's *ibstimony. I never knew no more •bout that crime than you did, but there were a few detectives who had a theory and wanted reward, and they Were bound I should hang, and I came Bbighty near it Then 1 lay in jail jbonth after month, an innocent man, •s everybody knows now. They made Vie nigger believe it would go easier With him somehow if he confessed who with him. When he saw he was jfoing to be hung anyway, then he came Ont, owned he lied, and saved my Beck." ' , j T o hang a man on, the strength of a confessed murderer's story, evidently, ft-'p precarious business for innocent men. -P1 Since his release from Auburn jail, |ow eighteen years ago, Verrill has worked in Auburn shoe factories and in ,out-of-door employment, and we never have heard a whisper against ̂ *m Wife died long ago. lie Shook the Dqpt. 4; Some funny things oocur among "t*rinters. You may not know that al>out every printing office there are twice as many men as there are sitna- - ffons, but there are. Those who do not hold regular situations are called . ̂ subs," and those who do are "regu­ lars." It i* the privilege of "regular*" ' ̂ "to work as much or as little as they k PUS! M*aCaa*ae «*•#«*. k s -yV k jf**- , v * V * 4 *ryi i - *.: 'r2 IV ' • like. When they don't want to alMfcgy a««d dois to call a tell him to go to Msffc. And luwio staiMl ar6«nd and wait for sueh miliar* tk m h Ubhi' ud ^ a & c f s . T h e " s n h a * m o v e a b o u t t h e i 7 , l < i T T country from eilytooity. One - •' ®*»ure a naoumi of Joy, a "sub came into the town of Kash- rtTad in their ba ̂wd rayea m ineir oast, and a happinessi large hnqs^ "l rayed in their beat, and all, apparently, ~ is paaeo and happiness within and with- o«t In a large hnosn. almost over- ville. Tenn. Ha was what theatrical people call "on his uppers," and a y whole dollar would have been a Btroke theiitre#ti»^» fall of LfaL» of to him. He loafed Broimd 1!^ the principal composing room of th? figure, once one of %he sweetest and city for nefrly two weeks,^ waiting for iovejiest Qf ijer sex, a confiding and af- 8otre one to give him a day B work, liv* FA^HNNITA VIFN NN<i tim mg as best he could about free lunch oout tens, and sleeping--anywhere. But nobody asked him. One night, when "copy" had been passed wound, and everybody was settling down to thq night's work, the "sub" ro3e up and said to the whole office: "Gentlemen, I've been here two weeks without a cent, waiting for a day's work. I walk out of town to-night God bless the people of Nashville, but God the man who ever put it on a man. Good­ bye." And he trudged aown th« stairs.--Chicago Mail. A. Commercial Metropolis' «f Swrth America. Nature never intended there should be a city where Valparaiso stands, but the enterprise of the Chfll.no., aided | T. 'SSTE.Iw German capital, h» ^ built the finest port on the west coast j of South America, and commerce has ! made its headquarters there. The fectionate wife, and the adored mother of numerous children, the subject of a frightful disease of one o£ her limbs, or, it may be, of her jaw, if not a still more important part of her body. In an ad­ joining room is the surgeon, with his assistants, spreading out his instru­ ments and getting things in readiness for the impending operation. He as­ signs each to his appropriate place. One administers chloroform; another takes charge of the limbs; one screws down the tourniquet upon the principal artery, and another holds himself in readiness to follow the knife with a sponge. The flaps are soon formed, the bone severed, the vessel tied and the huge wound approximated. The women is pale and ghastly, the jjulse hardly perceptible, the skin wet with the sight indistinct. Some one whiskers in the ear of the busy surgeon, "The harbor is spacious, its surrounding! picturesque, and ten months in the year shipping is protected, but in mid­ winter, when "northers" prevail, ves­ sels are often driven from their anchor­ age and compelled to cruise about to avoid being dashed upon the rocks on which the city stands. A breakwater built across the entrance to the harbor might give ample protection, but the sea is so deep--more than two hun­ dred fathoms--that such a work is deemed impracticable. In the bay, drawn up in lines, like men-of-war ready for review, are hundreds of craft, bearing the flags of almost every nation on the earth except our own. The foreign trade is controlled by Englishmen, all commercial trans­ actions are rendered in pounds sterling, the English language is spoken on the streets and in the shops, an English newspaper is published,' and to a sper "The patient, I fear, is dying." Restoratives are administered, the pulse gradually rises, and after a few hours of hard Work and terrible anxiety, reaction oc­ curs. The poor woman was only faint from the joint influence of the anaes­ thetic, shock and loss of blood. An assistant, a kind of sentinel, is glaced as a guard over her, with instructions to watch her with the closest care, and to send word the moment the slightest change for the worse is perceived. The surgeon goes about his business, visits other patients on the way, and at length, long after the usual hour, he sits down, worried and exhausted to his cold and comfortless meal with a mouth almost as dry and a voice as husky as his patient's. He eats mechanically, exchanges hardly a word with any member of his family, and sullenly re­ tires to his study, to prescribe for his patients--never, during all this time, forgetting the poor mutilated object he left a few hours ago. He is about to stranger the city seems like one of her ! " .uuu™ tt| ., „ Majesty's colonies. There isa'strongl J»e down to get a moment s repose after prejudice against the United States^ the severe toil of the day, when sud- growing out of the attitude assumed by « he bears ? lc,«d™S <>* the bell, our government during the war between j a ^'eathless with excite- Chili and Peru, which is stimulated by ??ent.' *H>*f ^ ^ed'ate presence at . * _ • tl iA aij-ktr Ahamha* With thn Av/ilamtttiAH * . * the English residents. But few Amer­ icans are there, the ohief of whom are the reverend and venerable Dr. Trum­ bull and his ooadjutors in the Presby­ terian missionary work, and two or three merchants. The name of the city means "the Vale of Paradise," but is a paradox, as there is no vale, and few symptoms of the supernal. An almost perpendicular mountain ridge forms a crescent around the bay, toward the shores of which descend steep rocky ascarpments. Here and there watercourses have furrowed <4own ravines, or barrancas, as they are called, which offer the only means of reaching the outer world. Along the narrow strip of sand which lies between the sea and clifts the town stretches three or four miles. In some placeB there is width enough for only a single street, at others for three or four run­ ning parallel to each other, but they only extend a few blocks. The one street, the artery of commerce in Val­ paraiso, is the "Calle Victoria,"circling around the entire harbor, and skirted by all the banks and hotels, the oount- ing-houses of the wholesale firms, the shops of the retailers, the government buildings, and the fine private resi­ dences. The rocky cliffs have been terraced as the town has grown, and the city now extends back upon the hills a long distance, one man's house being above another's, and reached by stairways, winding roads, and steam "lifts" which carry passengers up in­ clined planes like those at Niagara Falls and Pittsburgh. What r?ads there are were laid out by the goats that formerly fed upon the mountain-side, and twist about in the most confusing and circui­ tous fashion. One has to stop and pant for breath as he climbs them, and in coming down, an alpenstock is needed. The hacks in Valparaiso have three horses attached to them, and the team­ ing is done in carts drawn by fo&t oxen. The business portion of the oity, along tlie^beach, shows some fine ar­ chitecture, more elaborate than is to be seen elsewhere in Central and South America, there being a rivalry in hand­ somely carved facades and other adornments. The shops and stores are large, and contain as complete an assort­ ment of goods as can be found in any city in the world. There is no city in the United States of the popu­ lation of Valparaiso (125,000) with so many fine fehops and such a display of costly and luxurious articlea The peo­ ple are wealthy and prosperous, the foreign element is large and rich, and the place is famous, as is Santiago, the capital,for the extravagance of its citi­ zens. Some of the private residences are palatial in their proportions and equipments, and millions of dollars are represented under the roofs of the bankers and merchants. There are clubs as fine as the average in New York or London, public reading-rooms, libraries, picture-galleries, and all the elements which go to make up modern civilization. The parks and plazas are filled with beautiful fountains and statuary of bronze and marble.--Har­ per'* Magazine. Herr Yager Won't Help t<tioBceadrat».w "Good morning, neighbor Yager." < •Ugh." "Are you goinyto the cration Sunday?" "No sir-e, Bop." "And why?" "What I gare fur a schurch gonoen-' drate ? I don'd no achureh go. I don'd vas some hyhocrites. I gone mit mein frau in schurch vonce times lasd year yit, und der firad feller vhat lays mein eyes on vas a feller vhat sheat me a hunnurt and fennf ty tollar oud; und he he make long face like he gone deidt next mimit penfore und vas aschleep mit der arms fon der Lordt all aroundt. Und den I got mit meinsellef so tam mad I schwear ic mein pelly like ter teufel; und I say meinsellef to: 'Dot vas no blace fur me mit hybo- crites.' Und den I got me oop und righd avay walk gwick oud nnd a lager peer saloon in. I sooner hellup gon- ceudrate a lager peer saloon as a schurch. I gan't in a saloon found no feller vat scheat me, und don'd dot -fougot yon."--Kentucky State Jaw* nal. , NATURE is the army of genius: Cities serve it poorly, books and colleges at second hand; the eye craves the spec­ tacle of the horizon, of mountain, ocean, river and plain, the clouds and stars; actual contact with the elements, sym­ pathy with the seasons as they rise and rolL--AlcotL the sick chamber with the exclamation, "they think Mrs. is dying." He hurries to the scene with rapid pace and anxious feeling. The stump is of crimson color, and the patient lie.) in a profound swoon. An artery has snd- denly given way; the exhaustion is ex­ treme ; cordials and stimulants are at once brought into requisition; the dressings are removed, and the recu­ sant vessel is promptly secured. The vital current ebbs and flows, re­ action is still more tardy than before, and it is hot until a late hour of the night tbat the surgeon, literally worn out in mind and body, retires to his home in search of repose. Does he sleep? He tries, but he cannot close his eyes. His mind is with his patient; he hears every footstep upon the pave­ ment beneath his window, and is in mo­ mentary expectation of the ringing of the ight beli He is disturbed by the udest fancies, he sees the most ter- Singular Incidents Relating to Discovered Articles. Going through the Green Park, Lon­ don, one morning as soon as it was opened I found a good brown silk um­ brella with ivory handle lying on the grass under a tree. I made it known at the keeper's lodge and gave my ad­ dress, but no one claimed it. A few days after, coming out of church in a snow storm, I stumbled over some­ thing soft. Looking down I saw a dark mass on the path, which proved to be a warm woolen wrap of a rich dark crimson, beautifully knitted and finished. This was my oonstant com­ panion for years, and when worn oat I stuffed a cushion with it Two or three Shetland veils that are worn by infants came into my hands, aud a parcel of school-books was found in Birdoage Walk. Two of these had an address written in, and were duly returned. In the spring I was visiting near Beading, and one fine Sunday after­ noon I talked with Miss E to the lovely little church at Mapledurham, going through the fieldpaths and along short shady lanes in their first spring beauty. About half way up one of these lanes I picked up sixpenoe. Miss E laughed, and said it would do for the bag at church, when suddenly she cried, "O Janet!" and showed me half a orown she had found in a deep rut We looked about, and between us found sixteen shillings and four pence halfpenny in various ooins; and a little further on, a knife with four blades and buckhorn handle. It was nearly a mile from any house, and, though we made inquiry* no one claimed either money or knife. Two days after, on returning to London and crossing one of the flights of steps over the rails at Paddington, I found a handkerchief with deep black berder marked "Alicia Early." In connection with this I must mention that four or five years later, while waiting for a friend in Manchester station, the Liver­ pool train came in, and I noticed half a dozen large traveling trunks turned out of the van on which "Early" was marked in large letters, and a small parcel had "Alicia Early" written on it, with "Passenger from Bio Janeiro." While staying at Oxford in com­ memoration week a party of us had been to see the boat races, and were resting under the trees in the Broad Walk when four or five young men passed with a huge mastiff at their heelfL Nearly opposite to us the animal rolled down on the grass, scrambling and scratching in usual dog fashion. As I was admiring the dog I caught the glitter of something bright turned over by one of its massive paws, and on going to the spot found an old- fashioned double gold locket, the ring of which was broken. On opening the locket a small photograph of a young, grave-faced soldier was. on one side; on the other a lock of soft baby hair and the words: "My only son--Sebas- topol." I have the locket in my keep­ ing still, and often wonder who was the tender, heartbroken woman who lost that Erecious memento of affection. Who nows the tears that have been shed over that little photograph, probably the only^ooe the poor mother yfifrk . asked our reporter ^Jtwa art ocmnokwaar of the ^ Yorfc,"i» Amerioau art improv- iasia ebataolsr sad ftxoelienoof * •fay Bulk M" mVo Agtorissite nwwB pstronlss foreign •rty* ~ asjfaey n» the best pcioee, their f|Avato«ail*riM dbntein gene of Si to® modem muter** •Whick are preferred, work* of the modern Historical iioenes, rail and - r -- t d e c i d e d character* in to.mwt popular. firaMknt maeteis?" iaatttaftel «a*'in P.iria I picked spa - l0fe5a ie modern. 1 iwWWI riflo objects, and as he rises early in the morning he feels that he has been cheated of the rest of which he stood so much in need. Is the pioture over­ drawn? I have sat for it a thousand times, and there is not an educated, conscientious surgeon that will not cer­ tify to its acouracy,--Autobiography of Dr. Oross. a Ideal _ r.„„ TCn strong bit ef drawing, which depiotou • middle aged m*a bolstered up in » much be- oaahioned chair, and bur round ings indicating intense agony. "His tiMe is crowded with many a physi­ cians' phials, abandoned bandagee, and used- up blidtera. Before him a tab of steaming water derisively sends its inoeuse into his faoe, and the grate fire cheerily blazas in mdokery of hit uaLappaiesa. His nurse is a type of dismay. "I really enjoy looking at this picture! "I know how the old fe.low feels! I myself was for twelve years a victim of inflammatory rheumatism. Every spring and winter per­ fect torture twisted me for two or tnree months, daring whi h I was often unable to bleep for a week at a time; was tormented by ooaturaous agony, and at one time was totally blind for a fortnight, tlu disease having sot- tied in my eyes. I had the best medical skill, nsed all the most approved scientific specifics, visited the famed mineral springs of Amer­ ica, of Owls bad and Pari*, but everv yoar the same mad fire literally burned me alive! "I often laugh to myself as I think what an old 'bear' I. too, must have bien, vhen suf­ fering as that old fel.ow seems to be." "Aren't you tempting fate by mUang sport of your old enemy?" "Oh, no, I fear him no longer. My lait tussle with him was over two years ago, and all the agony of the years of remission settled on me then. My physicians gave me no hope of recovery. I had faith in myself, however." "Well, how did it work?" "The rheumatism was in my case, as in nearly all others, caused by a dî oase of the Wood, pro1-*-1- --J--1 ' • - • "J rity of tl pun in itoduoed by uosuspectad in- _ --bays, for I had never had . -- -- them. Twenty bottles of War­ ner's safs ear* however, completely purified my blood, and 1 never have enjoyed such ro­ bust health ss now. Hundreds ef friends in Europe aad Amerioa have, on my recom­ mendation, used it for general debility, ra»- lar.a, rheumatism, eta, and I havj never heard an unsatisfactory report l roni thorn." Mr. _ Wight has a personal acquaintance with the best art lovers of Europe an<l Amer­ ica, end his experience gis-os weighty testi­ mony to the remarkable power or the cele­ brated preparation named. "Yon think, then, Mr. Wight, that there is substantial art development in America?" "1 oertainly do, and I hive conti.leuce that when the true American idea is settled upon, onr development will be both rapid and ex­ cellent" _ He Prairie Owl. t Among all the birds of AmericA there are none better deserve to re­ ceive the protection of the laws than the little prairie owls of the Pacific slope. Although very numerous, they are harmless and unobtrusive. They may generally be seen sitting on a heap of Band thrown up by the prairie dog in digging his hole. This hole is appropriated oy the owl for his house, and as you ride past he never fails to salute you with a polite bow, aud iu the style of the real gentleman. The female may often be seen with lialf- grown brood sittiug at the entrance of the invariable prairie dog hole. Should you come here, she makes her obeia- ance, and retires with her little one as gracefully as might a fashionable lady. Because of the positive good it does in the destruction of many harmful in­ sects and reptiles, aud es ecially the soorpion, it should have protect on. In Southern California and the warmer parts of Utah and Arizona every summer evening brings forth great numbers of scorpions. They get into the gardens and infest the paths and walks about docryard and gardens, and but for the appetite and industry of the owl they would become an intolerable nuisance in these hot climates for three or four months of the year. At such seasons our little owl comes quietly about the house at dusk every night, and picks up the scorpion by scores. Usually he has some place near by, as the cornice of the house or some broad beam in the barn, where he deports his load, and eats what he desires. He desires only the soft part of the body of the scor­ pion, leaving the head, claws, and tail of the reptile until there may often be found a quart or more of such remains at the place he has chosen for his nightly banqnet. One owl, having selected a perch under the cornice of my house as the spot for devouring his nightly catch of scorpions, left in a week so large a quantity of remnants as to prove he must have destroyed the reptiles by the score every night, and of course the yard about the house and garden was correspondingly thinned of these most unpleasant creatures. This good work, as well as the grave, courtly manners of our little prairie owl, has made him our special friend, and indnoes us to speak a good word for him.--Waverly Magazine. ' Steamboating on the Hlle. The steamboat method is unique, says a writer in Scribner's Magazine, describing travel on the Niie. The post of captain is on the bow. On the bridge the second officer stands. Two miles ahead the capta'n discovers shoal water and a sand-bar bent on mis­ chief. The captain cries ont: "Affa-speed!" There are no signal-bells, so the sec­ ond officer receives the captain's warn­ ing and cries in turn to the pilot: "Affa- speed!" After mature deliberation the pilot shouts down to the engineer: "Alia-speed!" The shallow water is entered by this time, and the sand-bar rapidly approaches. !" Captain--"Wady-easyl" Second of­ ficer--" Wady-easy! " Pilot--" Wady- eaay!" Engineer--" Wady-easy!" The sand-bar bravely stands its ground. Captain--"Stop!" Second officer-- "Stop!" Pilot--"Stop!" Passengers, one and all, in nnison-- "Stuck!" The pilot and engineer light their pipes and praise Allah for his good­ ness, while the small boats are sent ashore with ropes, to be tied to all the fellahin farmers to be found, to help pull the boat off--usually an operation of six or seven hours. On such occasions the dahabeehist wishes for wind. A "running boy" is often put ashore to " run " to the near­ est telegraph station to request any steamboat coming along that way to bring help. Usually the "running boy is picked up before he finds any help. One of the sights of the return voy­ age is the constellation of the southern cross. If the manager of the boat is kindly he will ring the dinner-bell at your cabin-door when the constellation rises--say at 3 a. m.-- and at the top of his voice shout: "Southern cross, please." And the same Greek will at the proper time request all to "remain perfectly quiet, for we are about to cross the tropic of canoy." THE value of property annually des­ troyed throughout the world is put at £68,520,000. PjUATrSCM Cainton^Max . & . Them is modi wearisome neod- abrttt bald-haaded American men. W*sl)your head thor­ oughly once a Week with a lather of soap and water, rinse*all the soap out, and rub the scalp lively till It is en­ tirely dry. Never wear an nnventilated hat, or any hat at all when you can avoid it. Wear a straw hat. instead of felt, whenever possible. Give your scalp plenty of sunlight, also plenty of air. Don't smoke too much. Follow these directions, and you never will be bald-headed. Kven if your hair has begun to get thin it will-revive. Cana­ d i a n s a r e b a l d b e c a u s e t h e y w e a r f u r caps. It is the wearing of jiot and un­ natural head-coverings that makes the hair fall out. If a quite bald man should go bareheaded in the sun and air a year, it is likely that his hair would come in again, and he would never take cold. Kemember this: fea­ ture meant your hair to keep your head warm, not for caps or felt hats. Felt hats and silk hats are~an abomination. These are the wretches that make American men bald-headed^Tlt is not their mighty intellects SiHlieir exces­ sively fine nervous systems. If you render the hair snperHu us by making hats do its duty for it, nature takes it away; she will not tolerate senseless things. . • When Tour Kami Bother Too, Invigorate them. When your night's repose Is unsound or unrefreahing, your appetite jadod or capricious, when alight noises cause yon to start, and annoyances of slight moment abnormally worry you, know three things, vis.: 1st, that your nerves are weak; 2d, that you need a tonic; 3d, that its name is Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, the promptest, safest, most popular article of its class. The nerves are susceptible of invigoration only by promoting an increase of vigor in the processes of digestion and invigoration. Narcotics and sedatives have their utility, but in the uiain, and if thei • uso be continued, they are unsafe. A wineglass of the Hitters before retiring, and a repetition at the same during the day before or after meals, is far more likely to confer health-yielding sleep than repeated doses of an opiate. Dys­ pepsia, debility, inactivity of the kidneys and bladJer, fever and ague, and other malarial complaints are always dominated and subdued by i£ J, Lovers of the Russian. He--Have you read any of the Rus­ sian novelists? She--Oh, yes. They are splendid; What do you think of them? s s^ He--Think they are splendid. She--Life-like. 1 He--Splendid. True to natnr||t® •' "She--Splendid. < ifHe--Nothing overdrawn. She--Nothing. Splendid, I thllSk 1 He (addressing some one else and nodding toward the young lady to whom he had been talking)--She's one of the brightest women I ever saw. Knows all about Russian literature, don't you understand. She (turning to Bome one else)-- Don't know when I have enjoyed con­ versation so much. Got all the Rus­ sian novelists at his tongue's end.-- Arkanxaw Traveler. To DREAM of a ponderous whale. Bract on the tip of his tail, Is the sign of a storm i.If the weather is warm), Unless it shoulU happen to fail. Dreamo ilon't auiou ii to much, anyhow. £ome sign-, however, are infallibla if yon are constipated, with no appet te, tortured With nick headache and b.nom symptoms, these signs indicate that you need Dr. Pierce's Pleasant l'nr^ative Pellet). They will cure you. All druggists. "CAN you recommend tor me a good bome cnune of botany?" asks a corres­ pondent. Yes, the flour barrel. WHI» all so-called remedies fail, Dr. Bags'* Catarrh Remedy cares. IF a man could be divorced from his creditors (how busy the courts would be kept. Chronic Coughs and Colds, And all diseases of the Throat and Lungs, can be cured by the use of Hcott'a Emulsion, as it contains the healing virtues of Cod Liver Oil aad Hypophosphitea in their fullest form. Is a beautiful creamy Emulsion, palatable as milk, easily digested, and can be taken by the modt delicate. Please read: "I consider Scott's Emulsion the remedy par excellence in luberculous and Strumous Affections, to say nothing of ordinary colds and throat trou­ bles. W. ii & CoMiKLL, M. D., Manchester, Ohio. "> A COBSXT is nothing more than a waist basket without any poetry in it. "Thf Farmers' Poultry Raising tiuMe." This is the title of a new aud valuable book on poultry raising for profit This book an­ swers in advance every possible question in respect to keeping aud caring for poultry, and gives in the plainest possible manner all needed instructions to enable beginners or old hands to carry on the business success­ fully, and make money. If you desire to know how to make hens lay the year round; win Mi' ZMveis no oasstfMi aboat Wl, sspenislty K It be an ' symptoms of anim] proper action of the Uvea When this ka- portant organ fails to properly perform its function of purifying and cteaasing the bk*od» imparities are carried to all parts of the sys­ tem, and the symptoms above referred to see manly evidences ef the struggle of Nators to throw off the poisonous germs. Unless her warning be heeded in time, serious results are certain to follow, culminating in liver or kid­ ney disorders, or even in consumption. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Disoovery will pre­ vent and cure these uise ises, by nisli>i lug the liver to a healthy condition. PEOPLE are apt to feel proud of all tha good traits their children show and wonder where they got all their bed ones. Ceiighfi and Colds. Tho*e who are suffering from Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat, eta, shonld try BROWN'S BRONCHIAL TROCHES. Sold only in born "WHAT is that scratch on your arm. Jamie?" "Oh, I hit it wid de cat!" Jk Popular Tharon(h(km The Wisconsin Central line, although a comparatively new factor in the raiiroad sys­ tems of the Northwest, has acquired an envi­ able popularity. Through careful attention to details, its service is as near perfection ss might be looked for. The train attendants seem to regard their trusts as individual property and as a result the public is served par-exoelleaoe. The road now runs solid through ftot trains between Chicago, Milwau­ kee, 81 Paul and Minneapolis with Pullman's best and unequslled dining oars; it also runs through, solid eleepars between Chicago^ Ash­ land, Dulnth and the famous mining regions of Northern Wisconsin and Michigan. Itching Plies. Qymptoms--Mc>sture; intense itching and gauging; most at night; worse by scratching. If allowed to continue tumors form, which often bleed and ulcerate, becoming very sore. Swayne's Ointment stops the itching and bleeding, heals ulceration, and in many cases removes the minora It ts equally efficacious in curing all Skin Diseases* Dr. Swavne A Son, Proprietors, Philadelphia. 8wayne's Ointment can be obtained of druggists, or by maiL ASK your shoe and hardware dealers for Lyon's Heel Stiffeners: they keep boots and shoes straight Tie y •wiiilsiisa . The H--fcwlfc a--ill K«nr| The Meefcaate alii* 1* tench. The Mlaer aseAi R la esse eCsH|p|pKy. The Pioneer needs it-cant «MMM* jut It. • The Farmer aeedsn te Mi li--b »nd his (itock yard. The Htea.ni beat aiyui errtel ktultbeTalNppty aSoatandashont • JThe llaree-fhasler needs' 4r*'l» his friend and safest inHsase. 1 The Sieck-trrower needs MM thousand* of dollars and a world ef t mcsss Chronic Catarrh OSnnot be cured by local applications. It is a con­ stitutional disease, and requites a constitutional remedy like Hood's Sarsaparilla. which, working through the blood, eradicates the impurity which causes and promotes the disease, and soon ef­ fects a permanent cure. At the same time Hood's Sarsaparilla builds up the whole system, and makes you feel renewed in strength and health. Be sura to get Hood's. "I suffered severely'from chronic catarrh, aria- but from impure blood. It became very bad. causing soreness of the bronchial tubes and a troublusome cough, which gave great anxiety to my friends and myself, aa two brothers died from bron­ chial consumption. I tried many medicines, but W- ceived no benefit. I was at last induced to. try Hood's Sarsaparilla. and I am not the same man in health or feelings. My catarrh is cured, my throat is entirely well, and a dyspepsia trouble, with sick headache, have all disappeared." E. M. LracoUf, (5 Chambers St., Boston. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. 91; six for $9. Prepared only by O. I. HOOD A CO* Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar * P I S O S C U R E F O R C O N S U M P T I O N K I D D E R ' S A SITRK CUBE FOR INDIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA, ovfr s.noo Physicians have sent us their approval of DIGE81TLIN, ss) lng that it is the b«>»» preparation for Indigestion that they have ever used. We havs never heard of a ease of Dyspepsia where DIGK8TYI.IN was taken that was not eared. FOR CHOLERA INFMTUN. IT WlLJj. CUBg THK MOaT AGORAVATED Tl' ir KIESTV'I.IN •wlU^eBect ah.immediatecure. _ STOP VOMITING IN PBBOHA rr wax UKUEVB CONBTLPATI' sr Complaints and Chronic Diarrhea are the direct, results of imrerfect dlgestioa. DIUESl'YLlN for sit the stomaoh; they sll come . .ns and disorders at m indigestion. AA PENSIONS^ GOLD is worth STTO per S'.ooi, but is sold at as cents a MENTION THIS MRa aOHK&ody. Secure a Badness 1 from BETA ire's Bust*ass Col 1KNTION THIS PAHOL W0RK&M& CT»8io»sas«SKsa Jtnrwtnm rana wmm rami S250?^FSTb MENTION TUB HIB < KB.« as to patentability VRKK. OPIUM B33&& unrnoii IBB run. Dr.WlBmnsTl anamsnt una., Ml >0QM Sroved, in St. Joseph Co, onstanttne. Address K. C. 1 When for a time and then have radical cure. I have ] UKPSV or FALL1KQ warrant my remedy to « others nave failed Is non cure. Sendatoncafors my infanible remedy. G U. G. BOOT, «LC» 1 your druggist for DIGESTYLIN (price «l per large bottle). If he does not have it, send one dollar tens aud we will send a bottle to you, express prepaid. Do not hesitate to send your money. Our house to reliable. Established twenty-flvo years. WM. F. KIDDKK & CO., Manufacturing Gh"intsts. Mil .lolin 8t>. M MENTION THIS PAPKR WMM *IMW N turnvaMl. RADWAY'S how to fatten market poultry quickly; how to ~ ship poultry ana sell eras to ob­ tain the highest prioes: how to Duiid in-Miu iuu ui^udsi |/iiupsi awn w uuuu tat- expensive hen-houses ana yards; how to dis­ cover, prevent, and cure all diseases of poul­ try: how to select and obtain choice broods, and how men and women of long experience in the business make money, then send at ooce for a copy of THK FABMERS' POULTBT RAISINO GUIDE, published by 1. K Johnson & Co., '22 Custom House street, Boston, Mass. Price 25 cents. This book is profusely illus­ trated with engravings of model poultry houses and runs, also many of the best breeds of hens, ducks, turkeys, ana geese. This work presents a matter of supreme importance to everybody, but especially to women, children, and in­ valids. for there is probably no way by which a small but constant c^h income can be se­ cured with so little effort as by keeping and oaring for liens. From now until next March the price of eggs will advance higher and higher each month. Do not, therefore, delay, but send at once and get a copy of this valu­ able book. During the season of high prices the liens should be kept busy. For «J0 cents in stamp4 Johnson & (<>. wdl send postpaid i a copy of THE FABMEBS' POULTBT RAISING GUIDE and two 25-cent packs of Shernlau's Powder to make hen-< lay, or they will send a 2V-pouud tin oaa of Powder at regular rate (vLSO) and a copy of the GUIDE frte. Catarrh Cured. A clergyman, after years of suffering from * that loathsome disease. Catarrh, and vainly trying every known remedy, at last found a prescription which completely cured and saved him from death. Any sufferer from this - dreadful diceaso sending a velf-addressed I stamped envelope to Prof. J. A Lawreuce, "12 East Ninth street, New York, wiU recipe free of charge. Conanmptton Nardjr Cared. v ^ To the Editor: -Please inform your TOwteM" that I have a positive remedy- for the above- named disease. By its timely use thousands of hopeless eases have befrn permanently cured. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy FBKK to any of your readers who have consump­ tion if tney will send me their Express and P. O. address. Respectfully. X A. BirOCUM. M. C.. 131 Pearl Bt, M. V. California Excursions. Beceirt changes to the advantage ct buying tickets via'1 HE GBEAT ROCK ISLAND BOUTE. For circular giving full particulars adlress E A HOLBBOOK, General Ticket and Passenger Agent, Chioaga TIm Grut Urn nd Stanch Rssndy For the cure of all disorder* of the Stomsch, Liver, Bowels. Kidneys, bladder, Nervous Diseases, Loss of Appetite, Headache, Costiveness. Indigestion. Biliousness, Fever, Inflammation of the Bowels. Piles, and all derangements of the internal viscera. Purely vegetable. CJUtainiiiK no mercury, minerals, or deleterious drugs. Price, J5 cents per box. Hold by nil tlruKgiste. PERFECT DUJESTION will be accomplished by taklne Bsdway's Pills. By so doing KICK HEADACHE. Dyspepsia. Foul Btomach. Bilious­ ness Will be svoidi><). and the food that is eaten con- tributeitsnouriihiiiK properties for the support of the nitural waste of tiie body. DYSPEPSIA. PH. HADWAV8 PILI.S >aa cure for this complaint. They restore strenguf to tlie s'ousch and enniile it to perform its functions, lie symp­ toms • f Dyspepsia disappear, and with tliein the li bilitvo the system to contruct disease. Tukethe medicine sccordlnK to directions, and observe wtiat we say iu "False and True," respecting diet. A few extracts from the rnsny letters we are constantly re- oeiv.np t l)r. A. C. Middlebrook, Doraville, Ga.: 1 use them in my practice and family in preference to all other Pills." _ . Mrs. Caroline Monteith, T*eer Creek. Ind.: 1 be­ lieve my life has bn> n saved t.y your medicine. Have long been suffering with Dyspepsia and Liver Oom- PH.A. Carr, P. M, Escambia, Ala.: "Beat Pills he has ever used." E. Hummel, Boonville,Mo.: ""Curedhim when all other* tailed." _ Alice K. Ohaver, Mt. Storm, W. Vs.: T positively say tbat lUdway's are the best Pills I ever had for iMianMKnhiiaocteate* dcalvr HAMVTT, MM* & aa. last Sale* FOR jyiTnhS' The many testimonials _ el aim for relieves the >ve all we i 1 only relfc BltfluresYM. . 1 fry Drncgtsts.Mete Iran WIZARD OIL MleatV NO. sos *. st:.' FMI -: »ns«nd fl>r cImMSK' MOTION THIS ruta C.K.0. Jto. DysSn.sia." • WHEN WRITING TO 1 API II lljHi--. *Jrs» nd s letter stamp to DB. RADWAY * 00-' W uteaf*e*y Tos saw (he adverMsaAsHM No. 82 Warren St., New York, for "False aud True.* la thM t>isi>er. The mau who iiuti invested lroni three (not style) a garment that him dry In the hardest called TOWKli'd F " Sl.rCKJEK,-*a nai Cow-boy all over the burf. _ only perfect Wiad aat W To%ei' WET laSTWtth A.J. Tows*,*) Sim to Ave dollars in a Rubber Coat, and at his first half hour's experienee hi a storm finds to his IOITUW that it Is hardly a better protection than a mos> qulto aettlng. not onlv feels chagrhwd nt being se badly taken in, but feels If he does not look easctly like Askflor the " FISH BRAND " Sue does not hsvethe visa BRAND, tendfbr LADY SHOULD TAKE IT PETERSON'S MAGAZ THE BEST AID 10ST POPULAR LU>rS-H6UnB II UDRL Among ITS CONTRIBUTORS are Fraak Lee Benedict, Rebecca Hardlaa Hart* *" JbClellana, Edgar ftwwtt, ABce Bowman, Mrs. Lacy H. Hooper, and a host of other luaMa etc., are admitted to be tbo beet published. _ , are tho flaest published any where. ITS FASHION AND WORK-TABLE DKTARTMKNT8 are the SM rtaes' ; it also gives a FUIX-8IZE DBBSS-PATTERN monthly, aad nnatetwa blats ** j decoration, garden, nursery, kitchen, etc., making tt lnvaluahto, and worthawny Haaea its arte " Ticitlta, m»MO A ISAB, with grant reductions to data, and KLKQAXT CIW nnSoW OUIM, flwplaeayMefteeto thsae wishing to get up clubs. AHna^ #RDfQ Miwtton this papw. PETERSON'8 MAGAZINE,' MS Chestnut Street, ruiadslpui, THE YOUTH'S COMPANION--SPECIAL OFFER. 8ee Large Advertisement in Previous Number of this Paper. To any Now Subscriber who will CUT OUT and sond us this Slip, with name and P. O. address and 11.78 In Money Order, Express Money Ordert Registered Letter or Cheok. for s. year's subscription to the Companion, we will send tm paper free each week to Jan. 1st, 1888, and for a full year from that dfrte to Jan. 1st, 1888. If ordered at onoe this offer will include the - < tl 1888. Double Holiday Numbers For ThaskigiTlig aad Chrlstasas. WMHH Tweatr pSfss sack, with Cokxed Coven and Fnll-pa«e Frootispteoe Pictoraa. They all ba aansnally attractive this jmt. PWIIY MAION Jk CO., SOTemptt Plaoo, »Q8ton, . . J?w. A S2.50