The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

BT'BXX: rKRLEY POOBE. Abraham Lincoln onoe told * good st<»7 about Henry Ward Beecher, who, 'larer/ common clothes, was ig human nature aa exhibited in »highways and bjwaya of New York, the course of hia philosophic peregri­ nation*, he went into a mock auction •hop. He stood awhile on entering, and reflected, doubtless, how any one could be so lost to all sense of truth sad honesty as the auctioneer in ques­ tion, endeavoring to palm off his worth­ less trash to the inexperienced in city ways as good and Tamable, and finally the auctioneer called oat: "Mr. Beeoher, why don't you bid?" He was greatly astonished, as can be imagined, : at finding himself known in this place, and, as he had supposed, in his pur­ posely careless dress. He immediately left, and started for the residence of one of the members of the church in : the neighborhood, and requested him, as an act of kindness, to go down and inquire of that person, who had sold himself to Satan for the love of gain, how it was that he knew hitn in his dis­ guise. The neighbor kindly consented, and on entering the "Peter Funk* shop he addressed the auctioneer: "How is it that you know Henry Ward Beecher so well as to be able to recog­ nize him in his disguise?" "How do I know him ? Why, I have been a promi­ nent member of his congregation for the last five years, and lease the fifth pew from the front I" Late one night, in February, 1872, the session of the Senate was enlivened by a noise in the corridor, which, it was soon known, was caused by Billy Mc- Garrahan who was administering a cas- tigation to Don Piatt, then the editor of the Capital. A majority of the Sena- : tors had been blackguarded by Piatt, and they were unanimously of the opinion that he deserved the punish­ ment ho got, McGarrahan, single and alone, had been for a quarter of a cen­ tury fighting one of the wealthiest and most powerful corporations in America. During the greater part of that time he had not had a dollar of his own money to spend, the funds for prose­ cuting his case having been furnished by persons who believed his claim a just one. Eminent lawyers had volun­ teered their services to McGarrahan for weeks at a time, but ability and justice had never been able to overcome the influence of money. All McGarrahan asked of Congress was the privilege of having the Courts decide whether his claim against the New Idria Company was a just one. For years the New Idria Company had paid Don Piatt an annual salary, for abusing and malign­ ing poor McGarrahan with the wit and force for which Piatt was famous, and there had been no issue of the Capital for several years in which McGarrahan had not been maligned. When Piatt was sued for libel he crawled out under the excuse that he had no property, so McGarrahan took the law into his own hands and gave Piatt a drubbing that laid him up for several days. In an interview with the reporter of a local paper, Piatt had the candor to admit that McGarrahan was justified in the attack. When Millard Fillmore* afterwards President, first took his seat in the House, as a representative from the Buffalo District of New York, Andrew Stevenson, of Virginia, filled the Speaker's chair. The, first time that Mr. Fillmore rose to speak, a set of ill- mannered and rowdy Democrats im­ mediately endeavored t) cough and scrape him down. Mr. Stevenson, ob­ serving the noise and discourtesy, rapped strongly and loudly with the Speaker's hammer, and called, "Order! Order 1" in a decisive tone, and said: "The honorable member from New York will take his seat until order is restored." Mr. Fillmore accordingly sat down, and on the disturbance being entirely quelled, Mr, "Order having been restored, the honorable member from New York will proceed with his remarks." Mr. Fill­ more, on this intimation, again arose and gracefully expressed his acknowl­ edgement to the Speaker for his kind interposition, and added: "I am satis­ fied, Mr. Speaker, that the interruption I experienced did not proceed from the gentlemen on the other side of the house." After that a pin might, have been heard to drop, while Mr. Fillmore went on with a speech which at once gave him rank among the ablest de­ baters of the House. Towards the> close of Senator "Jim" Nye's first term, he spent the greater part of a short session in Nevada, work­ ing for re-election^ On Lis re-election he started for Washington, and the first thing he did when he got to the Capitol was to go to the Secretary's office and pocket the pay for the three or four months that he had been absent Stuff­ ing the crisp pile of new greenbacks into his capacious wallet, he walked into the Senate Chamber. A few min­ utes thereafter some partisan measure came up, which required a two-thirds vote, and as a number of Republicans were absent, it could not be gotten through. At this Mr. Nye rose up in his seat, and with that sublimity of au­ dacity peculiar to him, expressed his deep regret and mortification that Senators should be so regardless of their duty to their country and their constituents as to absent themselves from their seats. Senator Sumner, who sat by Senator Nye, looked at him in undisguised astonishment and dis­ may, as, in fact, did almost every other Senator in the chamber. When Mr. Nye concluded, and sat down with his face beaming all over with satisfaction, Senator Fessenden, who happened just then to be in an unusually irascible mood, got up and gave Mr. Nye such a terrible scoring for his assurance that the NeTsda Senator could not open his lips. At the municipal eleotion in Wash­ ington City on the first of June, 1857, President Buchanan made a requisition on the navy for aid to suppress an election riot, and 110 marines, under command of Major Tyler and Capt Madox, was called out to preserve the public peace. The "Plug Uglies," of Baltimore, who were the "bulldozers" of that era, invaded the city in force and attempted to take possession of the Soils at or near the Northern Liberty [arket, then on Seventh street. They were armed with a piece of artillery, revolvers, etc., and made a stand near the market-place. Mayor Magruder called upon the President for assist­ ance to quell the riot, and a body of milines were ordered to the sc ne. The "Plug Uglies" opened fire, which the marines promptly returned Ten or more citizens and others were killed during the mejee. In the evening a de- . ... - also by a -Popular Science Keioe. andhair method.- Talne of Bagas Coin. In the records of Mauchline sessions the following entry occurs under the date 1748: "Found in the box of good money, £66 7s. (3d, Scots, and of bad copper, £43 19s. 7d." And for many years afterward, when the Mauchline kirk box was opened, a similar fact was revealed. For every three pennies of good copper there were two of bad. The conclusion is forced on our mind that in olden times a large number of people kept their bad coppers for charitable purposes, so as to appear to be giving to the poor when they were not giving, and to be lending to the Lord when they were holding back, and the left hand doubtless knew on these occasions what the right hand did. "In 1764, we learn from a foot note, the kirk session of Kilmarnock thought fit that the minister exhort the people not to give their doutts (doits, a Dutch coin of the value of a penny, or as some say, a penny and a third of a penny Scots) to the poor now, when none will accept of them as cur­ rent.' " This just and pious exhorta­ tion, it would seem, fell on dull ears, for in 1766 the kirk session directed its treasurer "to dis­ pose and sell the doits and other bad money he got from the last treasurer" to the best advantage. Every other year there was at Mauchline a sale of bad coppers when tbe contents of the kirk box were examined. The £43 17d. 9d. of bad coppers found in the box in 1748 were disposed of at the rate of seven pence per Dutch pound, and they realized £7 17s. 6d. In other words, every penny of bad copper put into the plate as a contribution to the poor was worth only the sixth part of a penny, or a little more than half a farthing. In 1753 the price of bad copper rose to eightpence per pound, whether because they were more ran on for charitable purposes or for some other equally laudable reason it is not stated, but it is at least pleasant to think that the poor derived some profit by the enhanced value of what was given for their support. In 1774 the market for bad coppers became very drug, possibly from being overstocked, and it was minuted that every member of session is desired to try the several smiths and coppersmiths to buy the bad copper. Like nuts at the end of a fair, they were to be had at a bargain-- a penny a quarter, twopence a half pound--cheap, cheap, cheap! -- Old Church Life in England. Story of a Famous Picture, Ofall the large historical paintings in the rotunda at the Capitol Vander- lin's "Discovery of America by Colum­ bus" is alike most pleasing to the artist and the common lover of pictures. It is an interesting but not much known fact that America owes this painting and the genius of Yanderlin to Aaron Burr. When Burr was riding up the Hudson on horseback on one occasion he stopped at a blacksmith shop to have his horse shod. By the roadside he found an urchin drawing pictures upon a board with charcoal. The sketches were rude, but showed artutic sense and spirit, and Burr, then a Sen­ ator from the great State of New York, took an instant fancy to the boy. After a short conversation the great little man (Burr was of small stature) de' cided to give the boy some help, and said to him: "My son, if you ever want a friend to help you learn to draw and paint, come to me. Not now, but some time," and he wrote his name and ad­ dress on a leaf of Irs note-book and gave it to the boy, and also gave him his pocket-handkerchief. Years later the servant that attended the door of Burr's office came in and handed him a bit of paper with Burr's own name Stevenson 7aidV1 written upon it, and as he did so laid upon his table a pocket-handkerchief. It was Yanderlin come to test Burr's promise. Burr was a man who, while lie had money, threw if. right and left without stint or much thought. He put the boy to school and for years was his patron and friend, sending him to Europe and giving him the best ad­ vantages there to be had in art study-- and Vanderlin's life and works justified Burr's kindness.--Exchange. Might See the Point. A Lewiston business man was writing a letter to a business house in one of the larger cities; and when he had finished looked up with a smile: "This concern," said he, "sends back a bill with the remark that I have not figured the discounts right, and wants to know the reason why, adding as a postscript that one of their men will call on me during the week and would be pleased to have my order. One the members of this eoneern is an odd soldier, and so 1 write a story to him in reply; "I have said that in command of my regiment in the early days of the war was an old Col. C----, one of the best of soldiers and quickest of men on the field of battle and a man who hated parados and show drills. He was hard of hearing, being past middle age, and consequently on parades and drills he didn't catchHhe commands as quickly as others, and our regiment was a trifle alow. One day a little dandy of an aid rode up to him and said: " 'CoL C , Gen. B ^presents compliments and wishes to know why you can't get yoar regiment into line with the others?* "The Colonel looked up, brushed his graj hair and replied: 'Compliments to Gen. B. Say to him that there are so d--d many little snipper snappers of aids and Lieutenants around that I can't get room to move my regiment.' "I add to this story that there are so many drummers in the store that I haven't time to figure my accounts. I reckon that, being an old soldier and knowing the Colonel, he will sea the point."--Lewiston Journal. An Opera Bell* A new operatic representation in Paris introduces a deep tolling which could ordinarily be given only with a church bell weighing 15,000 pounds. The production of this deep tone with available apparatus has been the sub­ ject of much study and experiment, and the problem has been finally solved by Mr. Sax, of saxophone and saxhorn fame. This he has done with a bell of peculiar form weighing only fifteen pounds. It consists of a sheet of brass rolled into the shape of a cornet, sol­ dered, and then hammered into su­ perposed inflations that finally give the whole a parabolic form. The timber, ^ pitch end intensity of sound yielded tachment of flying artillery was brought: varies according to the number, form, from Fort McHenry to assist in pre- aud arrangement of the inflations. In serving the peace. the tolling the vibrations are prolonged by means of two saxhorns and a small bell sounding two octaves higher, and the result is impressive. This is one of the many modern applications of sci­ ence to atftgp Affect---Jr" eter. IN the bleaching of ostrich feathers the per-oxide of hydrogen is now used exclusively. The plumes are immersed in the solution for two days, and the > Which W< UM Victor. V (Southern Bivouac.! Jim Akers was a small, tow-headed, knoek-kneed man, with irregular teeth, which made his mouth look like a steal trap twisted out of plumb. His wife was a large, raw-boued woman, fully a head taller and fifty pounds heavier than Jim. She had a temper of a half- famished wild-cat, and no darky just "gettin' religion" was over half as much afraid of the devil as Jim was of her. He had reason to be. When she was fully on the warpath she breathed chained lightning, and flung cyclones from the tip of her tongue. Nor did she content^ herself with words only, however bitter and furious She very often brushed the poor littla wretch with a hickory until he felt as if he had borrowed his back of a saint fresh from the gridiron. One bright, golden, delicious after­ noon, in the latter part of May, Jim left the patch where he had been hard at work all day, and "snuck een" to his cabin by the back way. He proceeded hastily to doff his everyday clothes and don his Sunday garments, casting fur­ tive glances all the while at the black- browed, terrible dame sitting in the front doorway knitting. With trem­ bling hasta he completed his prepara­ tions, and was shambling out again, when his wife, previously apparently oblivious to his presence, shot a fierce glance at him which made him jump almost out of his shoes, and brought the perspiration out from every pore. "Whar you boun' for?" she asked. "I 'lowed was gwine down to the fiishfry fur a hour or two. Them boys is havin'---" " Well, you 'lowed wrong. You ju3t histe off them close an' go on back inter that patch and finisL lioan them per- taters. Don't you distress yerself 'bout no fishfries." "But I done tole the boys I wuz gwine lb be tliar." "Well, you tole'em a lie.* "But Ed Sykes and Hank Evans is awaitin' for me now at the cross-roads, aud I'd ruther not disappint 'em." "Well, I'd ruther you would. Shet up, now, and do ez you're told. Jim gasped and quaked with fear; but, for the first time in manr years, he thoroughly realized the tyrany un­ der which he was crushed. His heart was set on going to a fish fry, and on that feeble, fluttering little organ a faint shadow, a dim eidolon of spirit be cam o suddenly aroused. He hesi­ tated a moment, ventured even to re­ turn the gaze of those glowing, wrath­ ful eves, and then started, saying: •Well, I'm a gwine." Great Jehosaphat! Houp-la! She swooped on him like an owl on a mouse. The air was filled and dark­ ened with dust and sandy hair and agonizing shrieks. Ed Sykes and Hank Evans, at tho "cross-roads," became convinced that he was perishing in the flames. They rushed in all haste to his assistance, but as they neared the spot the clatter subsided, and they heard a feminine voice, which caused them to halt and keep out of sight, say: "Now, I reckon you'll do ez yer tole." Then they recognized Jim's piping voice, protesting between convulsive sobs: "I'd sorter gnv oat gwine befo' yon spoke." v Predesperation. An old-time Baptist preachef of our Southern towns, who has retired from active gospel dealing, but who still keeps a firm eye on the faith, has just had a little experience with a col­ ored man which caused him to think very seriously. Meeting the colored man, the preacher said: "Dave, if you don't bring that saddle home, I'll have you put in jail. * "What saddle is yer 'ferrin tart" "The one you stole from me.* "Parson, fo' de Lor, I nebber stole your saddle." "Yes, you did. I saw you when you took it off the yard fence. I believe I'll have you arrested, anyway." "Look heah, parson, you'se a old Bap­ tist, isn't yer?" "Yes, and I'll hare you sent to the penitentiary." "Well, so is I, an' now ketch de pints as I gin 'em to yer. Dar is jes so many saddles in dis worl' what is ter be stole, an' dar's jes so many men what is ter steal dese saddles. Dis is Eredesperation. Now, if yer saddle appens ter be ob de predisposed sad­ dles, an' I happens to be one ob de predisposed men, kin I help it? It wa'nt Judas' fault, case he was one ob de predisposed, BO 'tended from de foundation ob de worl'." The retired preaoher paused and then continued thoughtfully: I don't want a religious discussion, >ave. It isn't the saddle now that I re so much about It is that yon told mte a lie in saying that you didn t steal. A lie once told always stands. You have, lied to me, you scoundrel, and I believe it is my duty to have you ar­ rested." "Parson, dar's jes a certain amount ob lies to be tole in dis worl', an' if I is one ob de men what is predisposed to tell one ob dese lies, it is not my fault, an' I kaint help it." "You go on now an' get that saddle, or I'll swear a warrant out for your ar­ rest." "Ill do the best I kin, parson, but dar's jes a certain amount ob stole sad­ dles to be returned in dis worl'. If I is one ob de predisposed- men, an' I be­ lieves I is, you'll find yer saddle hangin' on de yard fence about sundown dis evenin'."--Opie P. Read. Bis Lavatory. "Here yon a bawth-room in the house?" asked a Boftoa guest ef a Western landlord. "A what?" "A bawth-room, a--a--lavatory." "Blamed if I know what you're driv­ ing at" "He wants to clean up," said a by­ stander, better versed in polite lan- guage* "Aw, that's it!* said the landlord. "You'd orter to of said so at first; come along with me." And he led the man from Boston out into the back yard, where there was a rusty tin pan and a pail of "roily" water on tlie stump of a butternut tree. "There ye air," he said proudly; splash away all yer mind to. PU send the towel out a* soon as them folks up stairs is done with it. Pitoh in; there ain't no extra charge fer the lavyatory, as you call it: and there's a bucket of soft soap on that bench. Use all yer a mind to of it"--Detroit Free Press. Colossi Bath Vuw; ot Vermont the fam- ou hero ot the BavolBtionary war, was a touting fighter for tike Hampshire gnats. Theaa fetUs were dfcpated by the Stats of H*w York, sad US imMifttias obtained aa edlotef the King of Influd in their favor. The settlers were ataac by the supposed in- jlltwtb nil IWI« tungs brought Col*." nel Beth Wetter to the front With Eiiin Allen and others he aetiveljr opposed every effort of the New York State authorities to enforce possession, aad finally he, with Al­ len and ethers, were outlawed and a prloe put on their fceadel To circumvent New York, it was necessary that some one ahould fo Into that State and gain required information. Colonel Warner, asaaminjf for safety the name of "Dr. How­ ard," undertook this perilous and (omantio journey. While on his way home he stopped at a country inn, where aa old gentleman and daughter ware storm-bound. The father fell ill and the daughter oalled npoa Colonel Warner, who, witu hia wide knowledge of simple reifiedies, successfully treated the "old man," and he finally won this devoted woman for a wifa. Such incidents were not uncommon in those yearn When the doctor was not easily reached, months of sickuess, and even lite were often saved by some unprofessional friend versed in the use of simple herbs and roots. The health of early settlers and their powers of enduranoe convince us that auoh medicines did only good and left no poison in the blood to work as much injury to the a/s­ tem as would the disease itself. In time of peaoe tbe colonel was in con­ stant demand for his knowledge of simple remedies and their power over disease. But it was left to another of his name of the pres­ ent age to give to the pubiio what was then used with such positive aucoess. Warner for over a hundred years has shared with Ethan Allen the admiration of the American people. Colonel 8eth Warner belongs to a family of wide distinction; no leas than eight members thereof won fame in the regular practice of medioine. Looking to the adoption by the people of this generation of the old time simple reme­ dies, nis direct desoendant, H. H. Warner, the Well-known proprietor of Warner's safe cure, for many years has been experimenting witu old time roots and herbs formuln. and, his search having been finally rewarded with suc­ cess, he gives the world the result These recipes and formula in other days accom­ plished great things because they were purely vegetable and combined simply so aa to cure the disease indicated, without injury to the system. In harmony with their old time character, we learn tbat he proposes to call them Warner's Log Cabin Remedies, using as a trade-mark an ola-fashioued American log cabin. We understand that he intends to put forth a "Sarsaparilla" for the blood, the sar- saparilla itself being but one of a immbor of simple and effective elements; "Log Cabin Hops and Bachu," a general stomach tonio ana invigorator; "Log Cabin Cough aud Con­ sumption Remedy," * Warner's Log Cabin Scalpiney" for the hair; a preparation for that universal disease, catarrh, called "Log Cabin Hose Cream;" "Warner's Log Cabin Plasters;" and "Warner's Log Cabin Liver Pills," which are to bo used in connection with the other remedies, or independently, as required. Warner's safe remedies are already stand­ ards of the most pronounoed scientific value in all parta of the world, and we have no doubt the Log Cabin Remedies, for the dis­ eases they are intended to cure, will be of equal merit, for Mr. Warner has the reputa­ tion of connecting his name with no prepara­ tion that is not meritorious. . - AMONG the victims of oooaine the medical profession furnishes the great­ est number, which goes to show that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. --Puck. MOST of our misfortunes are more rtable than the wwmwntfi of onr «VEKLAM) SKETCHES. BY FBED H. CABBUTH. A Kansas City daily publishes the following announcement: "The funeral of Mrs. Judge Hooter will be held this afternoon at 1 o'clock at the family residence. Friends are requested to bear in mind that the serv­ ices will begin at 1 sharp and be hur­ ried through with as rapidly as _ possi­ ble, so that the grief-stricken widower can be present at the auction sale of lots in his Fairview Addition, at a quarter past 2, and instruct his olerk concerning bidding in any property which may be going for less than our unprecedented boom seems to warrant. Carriages will be in waiting at the cem­ etery for the convenience of the large number who will doubless wish to drive directly to the sale." A man was traveling on a Dakota railroad managed by a local company. The train moved so slowly tbat it foroed him to believe that eternity rather than time was in view by those in charge. After a while it stopped entirely and began to back up. Approaching the oonductor the passenger said: "See here, sir, what's the matter-- what you backing up for?" "Cow on the track ahead," replied the official. "Well, s'posen there is--what of it?" "Why, great Scott, ire don't want to run into her, do we?" "Of course, run into her if she dont get out of the way 1" "Yes, I'll be prettv apt to go smash­ ing into a cow that's standing on the track with her feet braced, and shaking her head, and bellering, and jes' wait­ ing for us! S'posen we should knock her out. The old farmer is standing up there looking at us, and he would come down and drive us off before we oould get the hide and taller; and then he'd go and sue the company, aud then where would we be ? Pretty fix for a railroad to get into, wouldn't it ?--suit coming on and no hide nor taller to fight it with! Big judgment agin the company, and obliged to sell the injine and sleeping-car to pay it! I tell you, if I had run into that cow, that in less than two months that old farmer would have owned this road, and would have taken my place himself and given the Presidency and general management to some of his neighbors. Yon bet, I know when to back up 1" "So you didn't succeed in the law business in Wyoming?" said a friend to a young man whom he ^pi paihe train. "No, I'm going back." "What was the trouble ?* "" "I wasn't hardly well enough ac­ quainted with the Wyoming practice. I had a collection against a man and tried to get the amount for three months, and then gave it up. The Bar Association took the matter up and brought it before the Judge and he disbarred me. He said anybody who didn't know enough to take the subject down and pound him with the butt of a six-shooter till he was glad to pay! wasn't well enough acquainted with the Territorial practice to be allowed to plead before the Wyoming courts. I'm going back to New Jersey, where the practice is more simple." Death Comes Like Gentle Slumbar. A commonly fatal disease has a cer­ tain benumbing effect on the nerves, so that the dying suffer very little, writes Dr. T. L. Cuyler. Such has been my observation. "I had not thought," said a certain good man, "that it could be so easy to die." As life ebbs away usually sensibility to pain goes with it. So gently did a certain eminent chem­ ist breathe his last that a teaspoonful of milk which he held in his hand was not even upset--the dead man held it still. Death is very often a slow fading out of the faculties, like the coming on of a tranquil twilight. The sense of hesring sometimes remains intensely acute, so that the dying overhear a whisper in the room. "She is sinking very fast," was whispered by an attend­ ant in the dying chamber of a goodly woman. "No, no," was the quick re­ sponse of her who had overheard the pmjp -So, I am not sinking, I am fttt&itirtota^Sifiar." Tbei of eight generally weakens in (lie pro- esss of dying. A medieal friend of mine said to his wife: " Set that lamp closer to me; the room seems to be growing dark," Suoh were the sensa­ tions of Dr. Adam, the leaned Prin­ cipal of the Edinburgh High School, who fancied himself to be in his school­ room, and gently murmured: "Boys, it is getting dark; you may go home." Of deaths on the battle-field a large proportion must be without physical sgony, for a gunshot wound is apt to numb the sensibilities. When a bullet pierces either the heart or the brain there can be no pain. Probably our glorious martyr, Abraham Lincoln, "never knew what hurt him." Drown­ ing is far from painful, Those who have been j resuscitated tell us that their sensations were rather exhilarat­ ing. Martha's Grave In the Woods. Down in Houston County there is an ancient village called Old Wilner. It was once the county seat of the county. While it was in its most prosperous days there was a big school there, and there came a teacher from the North to take charge of the academy. His name was Moore. During his residence there he lost his wife, whom he loved very dearly. He had her buried in the old burying ground of Wilner, and out of his meager funds he erected a marble tombstone at the head of her grave. As it was located in the wild wood, as cemeteries generally were then, it was a favorite hunting ground for the juvenile population. Thus it came about that the half-obliterated epitaph appears to-day, cut deep in the mossy stone: "Boys, Don't Shoot Birds Around Martha's Grave." The name of Martha Anne Moore, with date of birth and death, appears above. It is a curious epitaph, and, as none of the family live in this country, it is the only bit of history left concerning the oid teacher and his wife.--Savannah Politeness. Abrafr^&ctive, intelligent teirtfef, be­ longing to a lady friend, one day dis­ covered a monkey belonging to an itin­ erant organ-grinder seated upon a bank within the grounds, and at once made a rush for him. The monkey, who was attired in jacket and hat, awaited the onset in such undisturbed tran­ quillity that the dog halted within a few feet of him to reconnoiter. Both animals took a long, steady stare at each other, but the dog evi­ dently was recovering from his sur­ prise, and was about to make a spring for the intruder. At this critical juncture the monkey, who. had re­ mained perfectly quiet hitherto, raised his paw and gracefully saluted by lift­ ing his hat. The effect was magical. The dog's head and tail dropped, and he sneaked off to the house, refusing to leave it un­ til his polite but mysterious guest had departed.--Irish Times. Hts Only Yirlne. A good story is told of an old gen­ tleman who lives up the country a bit Uncle Daniel, that's his name, never spoke ill of his bitterest enemy. A village sot diec^and Unoie Daniel was asked to give hifit opinion of him. Here is the conversation: "Well, Uncle Dan'l, I see Jim has passed away." " Well, yes, my boy, he's joined the angels, peaceful ever more." "Don't you think. Uncle Danl, that he was the most disreputable fellow that ever lived ?" "Wall, he wasn't just an angel, boy." "Why, uncle, what's the use of your talking so; you know he was a criminal of the deepest dye. You can't mention one noble trait which he possessed. Now, honestly, can you?" "My boy, Jim was always known to bee good smoker."--Boston Record. B>ugh en Teachers. Parent--Who is the lasiest boy-jj* your class, Johnny? Johnny--I dunno. "I should think you would know. When all the others are industriously writing or studying their lessons who is he who sits idly in his seat and watches the rest, instead of working himself?" "The teacher."--Texas Siftings. Waste of Tissue Without Repair. Vigor begins to decline when dyspepsia In­ vades the stomach Tbe disease, prolonged through neglect, entails grievous loss of flesh and serious waste of the muscular tissue. To( invigorate thoroughly and speeaily, a sound stomachic is required. There is none comparable to Hoa tetter's Stomach Bitters, since it insti­ tutes, and if continued, perpetuates a repair of the tissues, which have declined in bulk, vigor and elasticity in consequence of non-aasimila- tion of the food. No time should be lost in be­ ginning the reparative procen, nor should there be any delay in removing those ailments of fre­ quent occurrence, which contribute to and foster an enfeebled condition of tbe stomach and nerves, viz.: constipation and liver com­ plaint, disorders which the Bitters will as­ suredly extinguish. It also remedies and pre­ vents malar.al and kidney troubles, and is a prime auxiliary in tbe recovery of strength for convalescents from wasting disease. IlilHktlH'lSSv" _ roa never will find Vfcan Pisrees small -Pellets," lite Purgative kind. Small but precious. 25 cents per visL A 8TOCK-BBOKAB can not expect to feel bully when he has more troubles than he can bear. • A Flat Contradiction. Borne one has told you that jour catarrh Is incurable. It is not so. Dr. Hage's Oatarrh Remedy will cure it It is pleasant to use, and it always does its work thoroughly. We have yet to hear of a case in which it did not aooomphsh a cure when faithfully used Catarrh is a disease which it is dangerous to neglect A certain remedy is at your com­ mand. Avail yourself of it before the com­ plaint assumes a more serious form. Ail druggist* WHEW a man is lost in love he en gen­ erally be found by sending a belle after him. Chronic Coughs and Colds, And all diseases of tho Throat and Lungs, can be cured by tbe use of Scott's Etnulsioa, aa it contains the healing virtues of Cod liver Od and Hypophoaphites in their fullest form. Is a beautiful creamy Emulsion, palatable aa milk, easily digested, and can be taken by the most delioata. Please read: KI consider Scott's Emulsion the remedy par excellence in Tuberculous and Strumous Affections, to say nothing of ordinary oolda and throat trou­ ble* W. JU. & CONKSM. IX, Manchester, Ohio. , IN this world jov is measured by the eup; trouble by the peck. A Cough, Cold, or Sore Throat should not bj neglected. BBOWN'S BBOXCMAI, TBOCHKS are a simple remedy, and give prompt relief. 25 ota a box. DOCTOR's pills, like the marrags oon- timet, are for better or for worse. A Family JeweL DOCTOR DAVID KBNNEDT, the famous surgeon and physician, of Rondout, N. Y., has sent us a copy of his book, "How to Cure Kidney, Liver and Blood Disorders," a work of great intrinsic merit, apart from many elegant life illustrations of rare beauty. We find on examination that it is a work of exceeding merit, one which Should be kept and BEAD in every home. In addition to the studied and valuable medical lessons inculcated by the Doctor, there are two articles from the widely known author, Col. E. Z. C. Judson (Ned Buntline', which add to the interest of the work. The printed price of this book is only 25 cents, but any one inclosing this notice with the name of the paper from whence it is taken, with 2-cent postage stamp, will receive the book free by moil. THE LEADING FEATURES Of the YOUTH'S COMPANION Announcement for 1888, jnst published, are its six illustrated Serial Stories, by Trowbridge, Stephens, and others, its two hundred Hnort Stories and Tales of Adventure, its articles by eminent writers, including tho Right Hox Wm. E. Gladstone, Professor Tyndall, Gen Lord Wolseley, Louisa M. Alcott, Gon. Georgo Crook, and ono hundred other popular au­ thors. THE COMPANION has two Million Read­ ers a week. Every family should take it. liy sending your subscription now, with |1.7!>, you will receive it free to Jan. 1, 1S^ aud, a full year's subscription from that data ' ConsnmpUon Surely Cure<|i To the Editor: -Please inform your readers that 1 have a positive remedy for the above- named disease. By its timely use thousands of hopeless cases bave baen permanently cured. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy FBEB to any of your reader.) who have consump­ tion if tnsy will send me their Express and P. O. address. Respoctfullv, T. A. BLOCUM, U. C„ 181 Pearl St, N. Y. Crowing Smaller. Who does not remember the sensa­ tion of "feeling one's way" in recita­ tion, guided solely by the expression of the teacher's face ? "When one class was endeavoring to describe the condition of the Roman Empire at the time when Christianity was diffusing itself throughout the world, the teacher suddenly turned to one of the pupils and asked: "Was Koine growing all this time?" "Tea, sir." The master turned away with such a distinct negative upon his faoe that the boy at once piped out: "SmallerT \r Why Laura Lost Her Been* Laura once had an affluent beau, b Who called twice a fortnight, or so. Now she sits, Sunday eve, All lonely to grieve. f . Oh, wbere is her recreant beau. And why did he leave Laura so* Wbv, he aaw tbat Laura was a languishing, delicate girl, aubject to sick headache, sensi­ tive nerves, and uncertain tempers; and, knowing what a lifelong trial is a fretful, sickly wife, he transferred his attentions to her cheorful, healthy cousin, Ellen. The secret is tbat Laura's health and strength are sapped by chronic weakness, peculiar to her sex, which Ellen averts and avoids by the use of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription This is the only remedy for woman's peculiar weaknesses and ailments, sold by druggists under a positive guarantee from the manu­ facturers that it will give satisfaction in everv oaso or money will be refunded. Sao guarantee on bottle wrapper. SOZZLE says the reason he takes his whisky straight is because his month al> ways waters for it.--Boston Commercial. A ropular ThoronffltfaM. The Wisoonsin Central Line, although a comparatively new factor in the raitroad sys­ tems of the Northwest, has acquired aa envi­ able popularity. Through careful attention to details, its service is as near perfection as might be looked for. The train attendants seem to regard their trusts as individual property and a* a result the public is served Sar-ex*eLeuc& Tho road now runs solid lrough fast trains between Chicago, Milwau­ kee, St Paul and Minneapolis with Pullman's best and unequalled dining cars; it also runs through, solia sleepers between Chicago, Ash­ land, LhaMSih^audthsfamoui mining regions of Norl^. Michigan. EX-MAYOB G. G. STBKHTEK, of Grand Rap­ ids, Miob., is proprietor of an unfailing Pin Worm Cure. See his advts. We Submit Facts In regard to Hood's Sarsaparilla aa a remedy tor rheumatism, and ask you if you are afflicted with this disease to try the medicine which has so greatly benefited others. Hundreds of people who suffered the tortures of rheumatism, even in its sevens* forms, have been perfectly cured by Hood's Barsa- Varilla, the great blood parlficr. It corrects the acidity of the blood, which is the cause of the dis­ ease, and gives strength to evory part of the body. "My wife has been troubled a long time with in­ flammatory rheumatism, and was so bad last Spring that it was hard work for her to walk. She derived more real help from taking four bottles ot Hood's Sarsaparilla than from any other medicine She has taken." JOSIPH F. OSKXK, cor. First and Canal streets, Dayton, Ohio. "I used Hood's Sarsaparilla last spring, and can truly say it helped me very much. To those suffer­ ing with bilious (x mpliunt*, nervous prostration, or rheumatism, I euruontly re -ommend it." Mag, it, CASPKNTEB, Kalamazoo, Mich. Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold by all druggists. |1; six for |S. Prepared only by O. I. HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell. 100 Doses One Dollar P i s 0 S C U R E F O R C O N S U M P T I 0 N PENSIONS KSSS 6E Old) is worth $.'00 per pound, Pettit's Eye Salve " i. but Is sold at 35 cents a box by dealers. ~ THIS RIM WMUM (INN V* MIW •8 m day. Hamples worth FREK not under tbe home's feet. WriM wster Safety Rein Holder Co., Hdlly, Mlcl THIS FATES wm wtiriH n tHimuM, HERALD, l'liila.. ear's postage ' Big prises. wmmM «• imirwH. rnCCfor 1 yr.l ||||HMiTU'S<i6 pi<) HER PilCCon trialLUBPs. Bend 12o for 1 yei • and join our CUNVNUBVS CLUB. HXNTION THIS FATKa i HaMt CawS la H> r ays. Ko pay till cured. Stephens, Lebanon, Ohio. OPIUMS $250 as: MENTION THIS : PENSIONS MENTION THIS PAPER i PATENTS ss to patentability YRKI HOSE STUDr.ls:l̂ ,.<s^E'B,l"",•••"'™• n&s MENTJ ONTH. Agents wanted. BO best sell- articles in the world. 1 sample FKEE. i JAY BKONSON. Detroit. Mich. MENTION THIS PAPEA WI MENTION THIS PAPER n R. 8. ft A. P. LACEY, Patent Attorneys.Washington, DO. instructions and opinions ss to patentability FREE. W17 years' experience. An increase may be due. Ad­ dress SflLO B.!STEVES*8&CO. etropol'n lllk, Chicago, 111. •Penmanahip, Arithmetic Short­ hand, etc., thoroughly taught by mail. Circulars free. BBYANT'H BUSINESS COLLEGE, Buffalo.N.Y. 'ION THIS PAPES wun vrKsrua TO ADVI ELY'S CatarrH CREAM BALM Cleanses IN Nsssl Passages, Allays Pais and Inflamma­ tion, Heals the Sores, Restores fes tenses of Taste and fsitll. ~ TRY the CURE. A particle is appl>4 *rf ? each nostril and is agreeable. Prioc V) <-t«. at rtrusfqista; by mail, registered. AO cts. ELY liltOS., UrueiiwicU St. Mew k ork. Htf FEVER ri First Stroke ot Pain EVERY YEAR TO The Class.--Fifty million for tbe lint tiinfl to « 1 Mief. live million need permanently. Gertaintr able cost. How to ftod tion, through sorpenment, by pmt The Merits.--Example--XUte Oil, tlie Great Remedy Ibr {he merits known to all _ shows its merits throogh its The Eleaey.--l. Its effects am prompt. 2. Its relief is sure. 5. Ito---- --" permanent. 4. It cares chronic as long standing aa 40 years. & are without relapse, without pain. 6. It cores in all aasei cording to directions. 7. In there's a care, in every application a j The Proof.--1. The testimony cannot disputed. 2. It has been renewed af lapse of years. 3. No return of pain iM mi years. 4. It has cured in all ages and Of""" • ditions. 5. It has cured all forms of i tug. 0. It has cnml all frtagm ot ] ailments. 7. It has cured cases oon lioj>eless. 8. It has caused crotches canes to be thrown away. 9. Itsbestwn* are chronic cases. ^ The Pries.--1. The best always cheapest. 2. The best Is the pi Safest, surest, most permanent. S." benefits derived are beyond price. 4L atopics show that no competition can sbssi like results. 5. It is the best Soiibp DrmggUUani Dealert. The Charles A. Vorelet Co., MEMTTOM THIS PAWBt PIIPPBr return mail. Fall Bin*. MOODY * OO. MOTION THIS una (rut >• car .wtwfllnU B. a. LITMUA A OK, TOLEDO WEEKLY _ IPfASBffll PAPEl,., The largest aad Itest family paper MIMI United 8tates, and has the lar^MtdrrakttM. a yesr. Krerybody resdnthe KatbgLet body will want "The Bltile' nasi year free specimen; a'so aead addreae*«i<! pay laree cash lOmm'ssionn forriubs. fidentiu terms. Address Tg PROSPEROUS. Ef™ Many opportunities to aseurs fine 0< landa recently aurreyed.near excellent eoal I and adjacent to railroads Mapa and toll _ tleulara, free, upon application to C. H.Wa»ua%. Gen. Pass. A«t„ St Paul, liinn, ^ Hi 9B9Z- • - -V, SUCCESS. , move to new location ? RxceUeotl--^*- cheap.which will increase in va eral fold in five yefcrs. No other a Sortunitlee existing. Full ee, upon application to C. T Oen. Pass. Act., St. Paul, Minn. ; OF CKOFS la aa wataawat '»•:•i experience In CsaMI SSrft Northern Dakota MM Hia* nesota. Maps and full pinlliiuTsu isjaul lug lands, prleea, etc., sent free. As" ^ *"M' C. H. WAHKI Minn. FAILURE IKN, Oen. I'aas. A(t. One Agent (Merchant only) ww>M In e»sry fadS?"- : TAtfS'>U^ncVt Cj Q ' Olffer No. 178. FREE!--'TOMERCHASTS Oklt: A Silver Set (6 knives, 6 forks, S teaspoons, spoon, 1 butter knife), in SIMB-IIBM « t'rows at onoe, R. W. A Co., Street, Chicago. •VJ- B. MUD'S D&s.'ressr-feia-gsr-Mite. A new i E f f i f f i f f i " once. Give account of csae, sym]' dress DR. RAIRD. 1ST W. 1 MENTION THIS ft K I D D E R '8 ~Y f*Y J b: A SUMS CURE FOR INDIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA. Over !Um Physicians have sent««their approval of D1GE8TYLI*. aavlng that it is the beet preparation for Indication that tnsy have ever used. We have never hejrd of a case ot Oyepepsia where DItiESTYLIN was taken that was not cored. FOR CHOLERA INFANTUM. IT WILL CURS THE MOST AGGRAVATED CASES. IT WILL STOP VOMITING IS PREGNANCY. II* WILL RELIEVE CONSTIPATION. For Summer Complaints and Chronic Diarrhea, which are the direct results of imperfect digestion. D1GE8TYIJN wili effect an immediate cure. Take DHittfti'YUN for al, oaias and disorders of the stomach; they all coiaa from indigestion. Ask your drutnrist for DIOKSTVLIN (price St per large bottle). IT he does not have it. aead one dollar to us and we will aend a bottle to you. expresa prepaid. Do not heaitate to aend your money. Our hoaae is reliable. Ifetabliahed twsnty-Ove years. WM. F. K1DDKB Ss CO., Hsiiufacturlnjc Chemtate, S3 Johu^St.. M.T. ItKSTlON THIS rim < I C U R E F I T When I sty cure 1 do not mesn merely te a for a time and then have them ret radical cure. I have made the dta LEPSY or FALLING 8IQKN£BS a , warr*ut my remedy to cure tbe worst others hsve failed la no reason for ant now cure. Bend at onoe for a tre " say infallible remedy. Give IT. G. KOOT, M. C„ MSnaHK, I 5 PACKETS OF SEEDS jffijSaTsii •Malls (IS maatomi mm i feuewiac S | atMl ehswM 1. all roe--™ms«f| Stakes? Extra Slarly Tw mih aartxr Ua» and wefiSa. 'aQaesa • --^swai' WUsm^s Inmsl ffla«T Chleaa* Pleale CMiaWs-» ----r Green Ciiekeeeked Bseeafc --a aujtltl Ttri alio iiteladm wr illustrated M |«S® f nocthn' m.mbmhlp in. and a pries-ll aad acini nf tha NATIONAL CMPDUV pnrtpeld fbr MS seats la slssase TUE FARM. FIELD AJiSffSOqUVfe « known and pepular weekly icrieaKwal sad AaSl 1 •ntljr printed pun, (Ml ef practical taSmasHaa SL... fhmUjr rrading. tVi«s#1Jt#f«» jraarlsiludtsa aedhSMaaj SO p*«krta af seeds free ftwitliftarmrlMnaM| described in <« premium lit!. Ths sbass is • Mai aSkS HOWARD * WILSON PUB. CO, CMwy, ̂ IN THC SELECTION OT A CHOICE GIFT For Pastor, Parent, Teachar, ChiMLor Friend,both elegance and uscfUlneea wittM foaad combined in a copy of Wahstar'l ttaahridget^ • " Besides many other valuable ] A Dictionary of lia,ooo Woods, sooo Engiaviaca, A Gazetteer of the Worii locating aad descrlbtasSMMO Planes, A BiographteanHctiOMff of aearlv 10,000 Noted Peraoaa. All in One Book. ̂ S000 more Words and nearly 1000 more ISaiSak tions than any other American Dictionary. w Sold by all Booksellers. Pamphlet free. • «.*c unuumiiCO.,Pab'n.B,ri.^,11.11^. i STEKETEE'8 j age*1? Make your own Bitters* Whypw a Dollar for a bo* le ot Stomach ^ containing more poor wkiefcy than tsed due. wfcsa _ the undersigned will aend yoc tar mail oa» t package ..fRlX/IV, HKRISB and BEKRiXS. " lofthe fceet TUSHJ a entbsXIdaayaaad will make everui GESTIO tiser bihty. Tonic idsee Tone to the etocaach; in Other Tbafes. It is tar the efc _ _ One naeiage will euan one bottlea of ordinary Bitten rold tot One Dollar m bottle. Full<tirectknsonevervpac Drncrist tor TOEKKim'S l>RY Bi' 1 >r uggiat does not keep them on sal., th - undersigned. IwQlamdoae naduse t»s«r dress with in the 17. S. on receipt of IkTc. S.poe.*i ctuo** KTEKgrEE. Grand topijj, Mkk, |j| cure. Price Scents. PCi WORM UBSraOYKB. SM« C.N.W. WHKN WRITING TO AO uleaae any ywa aaw tha a tattfsyava* . , , * *<•> • I* i"'